500 Miles
by Princess Alexandria
Summary: read Not Myself first. Christy is lost, tossed into a portal of her own making and wandering alternate worlds, trying to make her way home to her lover, Emma Frost. She finds several Emma's on the way, but will she ever find hers? FEEDBACK PLEASE
1. Prologue

500 Miles - Prologue

By Princess Alexandria

**Summary**: Christy is lost, tossed into a portal of her own making and wandering alternate worlds, trying to make her way home to her lover, Emma Frost. She finds several Emma's on the way, but will she ever find hers?

**Author's Note**: I recommend that you read Not Myself before reading this fic. Also, I own Christy and keep her chained up under my desk (smirk), but the others are just borrowed from Marvel.

Christy rolled onto her side and stared down into Emma's relaxed, sleeping expression. A soft smile came to her lips as she gently reached out to caress Emma's sleep tousled hair and smooth it off of her face. "I love you so much my queen." She whispered before resting her hand on Emma's arm. It still felt like a dream. They'd finally given up the pretense of the extra room and Christy had moved upstairs to share Emma's room. Emma did have the better room after all.

Christy's eyes moved to the window and the cloudy spring day. Damn it was going to rain. Well that ruined the picnic idea she had to celebrate their two year anniversary. Wow, two years. Christy sighed and felt Emma reach out for her.

"Stop thinking so loud… dear you know I love you" Emma said as Christy started to playfully nuzzle her right below the ear, "But right now I'd love my sleep as well." Christy felt a little disappointed since she was wide awake. "I know you are." Emma's voice became more of a purr and Christy leaned down into a slow tender kiss. "Hon, you can't just think loudly when you want me and expect it to work. I do need sleep" Emma teased. "After all we all can't have your stamina" she continued with a smirk.

"Well if you're too tired I could always see if anyone else is awake." Christy smiled teasingly and pretended to flinch at the soft blow to her stomach when Emma hit her.

"I'm not worried" Emma rolled them over, and leaned over Christy. A wicked smile transformed her sleepy face to that of a goddess. "The harlots around here know what I'd do to them if they touch my consort."

"Consort." Christy snorted at the title. "Oh, does my majesty have delusions of grandeur? I'm no woman's consort." She reached up and attempted to tickle Emma's sides, but that woman was never ticklish when Christy wanted her to be.

Christy's smile faded and she stared up at the woman above her. "I love you so much; you must be my soul mate." Christy grimaced and her voice took on a self derisive tone. "And I'm a real sap to talk like that. Erase that last comment from your memory."

Emma rolled out of bed, "Ooh no. I'm filing that one along with all the other little sappy things the Queen of Death told me. I'm sure the others would be surprised at how very sappy you can be."

"But baby, I've got a reputation. You aren't blackmailing me are you?'' Christy pretended to plead.

Emma moved toward the bathroom. "Only if you don't let me finish sleeping dear. I've made arrangements to go away for this weekend and I want to be well rested for your surprise" Christy sat up a little more awake than before, which wouldn't really make Emma any happier. Emma came back out and slide back into bed. "Sleep now." Emma ordered her softly and pulled the covers over both of them as Emma curled her body around Christy's.

……………………..

The beachfront property was beautiful even in the gray of the storm. Christy looked out at the rough waters hitting their private beach and then at the rain filled clouds. It wasn't like they were here to sunbath anyway. Christy stepped out of the car and moved to the trunk to grab their bags.

"I had the place stocked yesterday, so we shouldn't need to go into town for anything." Emma smiled at her while grabbing one of the bags. The sexy wink gave her told Christy that Emma had the same plans for their weekend that Christy had. Just the two of them alone; in a large house. God it had been a while since they could be together without the threat of having to deal with one problem or another. Christy smiled; a real vacation.

The house even had a warm fire in the fireplace. The person Emma had come to stock the place must have just left recently. The lights were low and the fire seemed to fill the darkness. Christy set the bags down in the hallway and moved into the living room. It was far cozier than Emma's normal tastes, and Christy liked it.

Emma decided to join her on the couch and Christy enjoyed the feel of her lover against her back as they just watched the fire. "I thought you were going to drive right into the ocean, or the end of the earth."

Emma chuckled, "This country may be large, but it isn't that large. You were just impatient."

"Can you blame me?" Christy turned a little in her seat so that she could see Emma. The thoughtful and serious expression she got in response wasn't what she'd been going for. Before Emma could turn this too serious Christy smiled. "I am with the most beautiful woman on the planet and all I was able to do while you drove was look. That's like putting a small kid in front of a cookie counter and not letting her have any."

"I seem to remember a little more than looking. So I'm a cookie now?" Emma smiled.

"You're my sweet" Christy kissed her. "Even if you are filled with nuts." Christy kissed her and held in her irritation with how hard Emma worked. She'd known Emma was a workaholic when they got together, actually before they got together, but weekends like this were too rare and too precious to waste on issues like that.

Later that night it had stop raining, but the clouds still hid the stars; something that always made Christy a little unsettled. She liked to stare at the stars; monitor them, make sure they weren't falling.

"Take a walk with me?" Emma asked softly, and Christy struggled not to look at her lover like she was nuts. Out side it was dark, cold, windy, and wet. Not really strolling weather. Christy just stood up and shifted her body until she had a warm coat on as an answer. Emma rarely got time to walk along the shores, and if she wanted to do it in the dark Christy would walk with her.

"Okay just let me go get my gun and we can leave."

"Christy hardly anyone knows we're here. Trust me its safe." Emma seemed upset and when Christy gave her a doubting look Emma sighed loudly. "If I promise to scan the area for danger will you agree to leaving the bodyguard image at home?"

It felt like a mistake, but then it wasn't like anyone realized Emma and Christy were at the beach house today. Emma didn't like guns, even Christy's, after the attack. "Okay." Christy stared longingly at the bag that had the one gun she'd convinced Emma to take with them, then moved to the door without it.

The sand was uneven and Emma really should have changed her shoes, but Christy just smiled when Emma leaned on her as they made their way to the shore. The house's porch lights were surprisingly strong giving them enough light to see their way.

"Christy." Emma stopped before they reached the water and the sound of strong waves and the mist of the water reached them, but their feet stayed dry. Christy was a little worried about the nervousness Emma was unconsciously sending through their link. Emma turned to face her and Christy liked the tender expression on Emma's face. "I wanted to…"

That splash was too loud to be a wave. Christy started to turn toward the water, her body growing tense and her eyes widened to try and see into the darkness. Something was wrong… Emma was wrong something was out there. A beam of red light shot towards them and Christy felt the heat as she was tossed to the ground. The white clothed female that fell beside her worried her more as she turned to scramble over the sand, terrified that a better aimed shot was on its way. Emma she screamed though their link scared that whoever shot at them was near enough to hear her if she spoke out loud. As she knelt beside Emma she noticed a trickle of blood running from Emma's forehead. The sound of splashes continued and she saw the outline of a black ship on the water. Shit someone was jumping into the water. With a deep breath she stood up in front of Emma and glared out at the water. "Do you have any idea who I am?" She growled into the night air. "I will kill you if you set one foot on our land." Emma was hurt, and she wanted nothing more than to cradle her lover in her arms and make sure she'd be okay, but she also wanted to hurt whoever hurt her queen. She couldn't let them see her weak, scared.

No one spoke, but she knew people were out there. She had no idea how many. Just that there were more than one and Emma was out cold. Christy spun around and scooped Emma up into her arms, praying that Emma would wake up and tell her where the enemy was. She started to run, the sand making each step difficult to stay balanced. Red streaks of light cut the air around her and the porch lights she'd relied on exploded. They were tossed in the air when it hit the ground near her, barely missing her. She managed to regain her footing as she landed and she dodged left and right as erratically as she could, trying to be unpredictable. Damn it Emma wakeup I need you Christy thought. She knew she was at a disadvantage as long as she had to defend Emma she couldn't attack.

"Freeze!" A man's voice yelled out behind her. Another voice in front of her made her heart stop. "Going somewhere kid." She slid to a halt to miss the knives that appeared out of nowhere in this guys hand. Shit she couldn't go forward and she couldn't go back. Damn and Emma just wouldn't wakeup.

"I swear to god, you hurt her and you'll beg for death." Christy spun around, knowing she'd been surrounded. She didn't want to put her down, but the shadows around her were taking on form and she was trapped. Christy set her precious burden down and spun around to glare threateningly at the people that had come to their home.

Suddenly lightning flashed and Christy's eyes widened as she recognized the people that she was fighting, before her eyes hardened in determination. Emma barely survived the assassination attempt not that long ago, and Christy never wanted to go through that hell again.

Emma was unconscious, and now she didn't doubt that it was on purpose, Christy had to fight alone, and if she tried to fight it would leave Emma vulnerable. Her fists clenched as she took in a deep breath and pulled her power into herself. Felt the cold of death swirl in the air as she pulled that power in tight, felt every death her range could manage, gleaned what she needed from it and smiled coldly. It was her only ranged weapon, her most deadly. She knew what was coming. She didn't want to do this but they brought this on themselves. She screamed because she knew death was coming and it was furious.

Her scream cut the air and she could see a few flinch as a rumble answered her. Scythe was coming. She focused on a memory of a dead world as the portal formed above her, glowing lightly and surrounded by long thin tentacles. Christy's eyes glowed in the same yellow as she glared at the men around her and stood over her lover, keeping them away.

Someone screamed as the portal reached out and grabbed them, pulling them close. "Leave!" She hated to do this to anyone. She had to split her concentration between crouching protectively over Emma and controlling her portal so that it didn't swallow that man just yet. If they'd just leave she wouldn't have to condemn anyone to that hell. It was open to her home after all.

The red beam shot close to them, too close to Emma. "Let him go." The cold man spoke, his threat clear as Christy saw him stare at Emma. Christy shifted to put her body between him and Emma, her eyes glaring daggers back as the man above her screamed as the portals grip became crushing. She pulled that man right up to the portals edge; she could see it in her minds eye through her link to Scythe.

"It is hell on the other side of that portal. No food, no people, barely any breathable air." It was safe to assume those things given how her world died. "It's a horrible way to die, but I'll do it if you don't turn around and leave right now."

A movement to her side had her turning sharply towards the woman there. Threat. Destroy. Scythe felt her fear, heard her command, and reacted. A tentacle reached out and latched onto that woman. The portal started becoming violent as Christy felt threatened and nervous.

"Bob!" Someone screamed she smiled as she felt the portal shake. He was gone, and she had another. She gritted her teeth and glared coldly at their leader. She warned them they would die if they stepped foot on their land. She wasn't bluffing and they would find this out the hard way. You don't fuck with her and her queen and expect to live. Whatever it took, she'd do whatever it took to ensure Emma's safety; even if that meant her death.

"You Bitch!" Someone screamed, but since they weren't moving Christy didn't turn to acknowledge them. She smiled funny how they attacked her and then call her a bitch for defending herself.

A wave of death came back at her and she narrowed her eyes. "He's dead." She smiled as she informed them, just to make it clear that she wasn't pulling punches. "She's next I suggest you leave before I lose my patience and she shares that mans fate. I assure you it won't be pretty and she will suffer." She was smiling a lot, she'd learned people got nervous fighting someone that seemed more amused than scared and she used it.

They rushed her, and Christy flinched back at that unexpected move. A large body slammed into her from the side, tossing her away from Emma. She forgot about the woman as she tried to claw her way across the sand towards Emma, while ignoring the hands that gripped at her as she made her way back. She was to far away damn she wouldn't make it. She knew she failed when that cold bastard move to stand over Emma. The threat in his stance was clear. Don't move.

Scythe lashed it's tentacles around frantically, a mirror to Christy's own frustration and fear. The woman Christy didn't even notice she'd dropped started to stand up drawing her attention. Big mistake she was within range again and Christy needed leverage. Scythe lashed out and grabbed the woman again. Christy knew she was important. She meant something to these people. His body betrayed him and his companions hesitated long enough to confirm her suspicions.

"No!" The man yelled as there was a flash and knives. Suddenly Christy found herself being thrown backward. The sight of tentacles in the corner of her eye made her gasp and Christy tried to twist in the air, tried to focus enough to shut it down. She was too late.

Christy's eyes caught her lover's now opened eyes longingly, desperately, and in that moment she realized that she'd lost. Christy screamed for her as she hit her own portals cold surface and the familiar airless, cold, disorienting sensation filled her. "EMMA!"

"CHRISTY!" The words were muffled, but Christy could feel the soft touch of Emma's frantic mind, felt the love, fear, and then their connection failed.

……………………

_Peter, Paul & Mary's:_

_500 Miles_

_If you miss the train I'm on__You will know that I am gone__You can hear the whistle blow__A hundred miles__A hundred miles, A hundred miles__A hundred miles, A hundred miles__You can hear the whistle blow__A hundred miles__Yes I'm one__Yes I'm two__Yes I'm three__Yes I'm four__Yes I'm five hundred miles __From my home__Away from home, away from home,__Away from home, away from home__Lord I'm 500 miles__away__ from home__Not a shirt on my back__Not a penny to my name__Lord I can't go home this way__This way, This way__This way, This way__Lord I can't go home this way__If you miss the train I'm on__You will know that I am gone__You can hear the whistle blow__A hundred miles_

Tbc…


	2. Ruins 1 part 1

500 Miles – Ruins

By Princess Alexandria

Flashes of light and dark shadows combined spinning, turning, to much, to fast. Christy was still screaming as she felt her body hit air again. She tried to focus as blurs of color she passed before her eyes. She felt a jarring shock as she hit something.

Don't hurt me. That last thought as foreign to her as a telepaths thoughts would be. As Christy fell to her knees the presence seemed to fade.

"Did you see what that mutie did?" A harsh voice drew Christy's eyes up were three men were standing around her, looking menacing. "What was that?" He then turned to face her. Christy hid her confusion and glared right back. It didn't take a genius to see these men meant her harm. Why they were standing there as if they'd been waiting for her was a mystery though. "What'd you do mutie? What's with the bright lights and all?"

Christy moved to stand up, and had to quickly stop the hiss of pain when she put weight on her left foot. Damn that hurt. Christy stood tall as she gave the now nervous men a confident smirk. She wished she knew what the hell was going on. She sent a quick thought to her hands as she held them up, only to see they didn't have claws. Startled and now worried her eyes widened a little. Her voice was a bit hoarse as she spoke, "Not all mutants are pushovers." She growled as she spoke, "You just might want to turn around and leave or I'll show you what I mean." The red drop of blood she felt roll off her cut finger and fall through the air had more of her attention then the men did at that point. Blood? _Real_ blood? Oh shit! What the hell happened?!

How was Emma? That pained thought was shoved away as she dealt with the threat in front of her. She was in a world with mutants, but that was all she knew for sure.

Her words didn't seem to scare them all. Christy took a painful step back as the largest man moved forward with a punch. Her ankle felt like it wouldn't hold her as she lashed out with her good foot as hard as she could. He only stumbled back a little and Christy felt a wave of fear she did her best to cover. Terrified she wondered where her powers were. Were they all gone? How would she ever get home to Emma?

Suddenly he rushed at her. His body slammed into her and shoved her hard into the wall. Her head hit the wall with a loud crack and her vision began to dim as she fell to her knees again. Shaking her head she tried to recover from the blow and concentrate on the fight. She felt something sharp under hand as it rested on the ground. Christy gripped it without looking and glared up at him. She didn't have time to draw this out. Something was clearly wrong with her. "I'm warning you, run now or I'll kill you."

"Oh look, I'm terrified" He mocked as he stood over her. His size dwarfed hers as he continued, "Little mutie with the glow bright eyes is gonna hurt me. Didn't think we'd see those eyes did you freak. Stupid bitch, hiding in the dark like that." He moved forward, clearly planning to swing at her again. Christy's grip on the sharp object tightened. She ignored the pain the edges caused her as her own fingers were cut. She lunged up and pressed hard into his stomach. Warm blood ran down her arm as he gasped and looked down to grab at the large piece of glass embedded in his body.

As much as she hated it, the feel of death made her smile in relief. She still had some of her powers. Standing up was a little easier knowing that. It was disgusting plan but she smiled; and laughed her shrill voice sounding insane. When she brought her blood covered hand to her mouth and licked at it like it was a fine chocolate, she knew she had their attention. This had better work she was in no shape for a real fight; even her reflexes were slower. Christy never realized how much she relied on her powers to help her with everything until it was gone. "Mmm such a big one too, this should feed the kids for a few days."

Her laugh was more natural this time as the others turned and ran. Once she couldn't hear them she wiped the blood off on his shirt and spit out what she could of the blood in her mouth. "Now, let's figure out what the hell happened." She spoke softly, almost as if she were talking to him. Looking around a shoe in the alley drew her attention, simply because it seemed to match her other one. Shoes that came off? Why was she wearing real clothes? Christy limped over and picked it up.

"Let's just figure out where I am first." She muttered as she struggled to put the shoe on a slightly swollen foot. As she walked around the dead body she shook her head. "No trip is complete without a death at the end" She sighed.

The broken windows and crumpled bricks in the street were eerily familiar. Christy looked up into the day sky and didn't see the glow of an asteroid, but this looked so much like home before the end. She saw various people rummaging through shops, but they appeared to be cleaning more than scavenging. No one looked at her as she limped down the street.

She moved to a broken window that showed a reflection. A study of her face showed a bruised forehead and glowing eyes. Christy stared at them, thinking they looked a bit strange. Why did they do that? She thought about what her eyes were supposed to look like, as if she were trying to shift them and slowly the glow faded. It was better to not advertise her mutant abilities if those three men were the norm around here. She found a broken fire hydrant nearby and did her best to wash the blood off of her face and hands. She looked like a killer and someone somewhere was bound to notice it if she didn't do something. She was surprised that no one had said anything about it as she walked past stores. She'd been like this for three or four blocks and no one noticed. These people must be in shock from something. Once it was only her own blood on her hands Christy ripped her shirt and made a bandage so it wouldn't drip everywhere. It stung, but she ignored it for now.

The Hotel Pennsylvania and Madison Square Gardens finally answered part of her question. They were looking like they'd seen better days as well, but it made it clear she was in a New York of some world.

As she walked she tried opening her shields, and they would fall, but she had trouble processing the power that she could sense floating all around her. Her cut fingers and swollen ankle didn't respond to the powers. It looked like her days of self healing were over.

At this rate it would take a while for her to rebuild her reserves enough to create another portal and try to go home. Christy took a deep breath and felt the tears start to fall as she had to sit. Try was the key word. How could she find home? It was like setting out into space to find a specific star without any directions. Shit, Emma was the one that taught her how to open her portal on purpose without a world dying around her. The blonde telepath had helped Christy explore the power that made her an Omega and helped to determine how Christy managed to make them.

Getting back to her feet, Christy's eyes hardened. It didn't matter how hard it was to do it, she'd go home. Her Emma loved her and Christy had seen the look in her eyes right before they were attacked. There was no way she'd ever give up on seeing that again.

…………..

The smoke was a clear indicator something was wrong. Christy just continued to walk, hoping that something she ran into would give her an idea of what to do now. Yelling, angry yelling made her feel like turning around was the better idea, but something changed her mind.

A large blue man vaulted up the side of the four story building. Christy stood still and stared as Henry broke a window to get inside. She started to move forward, her steps only faltered for a moment as she felt a death. She started moving faster when she saw the glittering diamond form fall from the building. Oh God. Christy's ankle rebelled against her pace but she ran, while watching horrified as Emma fell. She was too far away.

And Scott caught her. Christy stared in shock. Scott saved Emma?

Christy's eyes widened as she made it to the edge of the angry crowd, a crowd that paid no attention to her; their mistake. Christy's eyes were cold as she slammed one man hard in the head. He'd been aiming at the blonde telepath running back into the burning building. A small humorless chuckle escaped her lips and no one looked away from the building for his pained grunt or his fall to the ground. She was among them and they didn't even notice. She would have grabbed the gun he dropped but it was being trampled underfoot and she worried that if she bent down she'd be trampled too.

Her heart beat quickly, nervously, as Emma went where Christy couldn't follow. Fire was a death sentence for her, but her lover would be able to survive it, she had before. Christy was jostled as she tried to make her way to the front of the crowd. Angry humans stepped on her swollen foot and only clamping her mouth shut kept a pained whimper from being heard.

Her eyes scanned the crowd as she made her way towards the opening before her. The screaming of the crowd grew louder and Christy glanced up to see people being dangled out the fourth story window by a familiar blonde. Henry was talking to her and Christy could see Emma was angry in the way she held those humans, but she handed them over to Henry and disappeared back into the building.

When Emma stepped out of the building with a boy in her arms Christy breath caught, knowing he was dead. Oh Emma, her mind mourned for the woman as she stepped away from the crowd towards them. One of the sisters was sobbing.

She could hear Emma's voice as she stepped closer. None of the mutants noticed her since they were so concerned with the dead boy. It made her more aware of the crowd around them. This stand still wouldn't last and yes it was sad someone died, but you don't cry on the battlefield.

Emma was glaring at Scott and handed to body over. Christy saw movement out of the corner of her eye and screamed, "GUN!" as she dove to the target, knocking one of the sisters to the ground. Emma, Scott, Henry all turned to her in shock. They should have seen her coming. The fire in her chest made her look down to see blood, her own, which she wasn't used to seeing anymore, running down her body.

"Hey Phoebe" Christy spoke softly to the scared girl under her. She recognized her. "You okay?" Christy felt cold.

"I'm… I'm fine." The girl answered her, clearly confused.

Christy's arms started to weaken and she fell onto the girl she'd saved. "Emma would've been so upset to lose you." She whispered. Her mind screamed that she had to get up, but she blacked out.

…………….

The beeping was making her frown as she started to come too. It was too loud, too irritating. "Someone turn that damned beeping off." She muttered; still half awake, if that.

"I'm afraid that beeping is what tells me you are still alive." A deep male voice answered her and Christy opened her eyes, shocked. The brightness was a shock, so was the place. She was staring up at the med lab ceiling.

"It wasn't a nightmare was it?" Her voice cracked as she turned her head to see Henry. She wasn't home anymore.

"If you mean did you get shot saving one of our young charges, no it wasn't. I do want to thank you though. Your actions did save the sisters from losing yet another loved one." His voice grew softer. "It's been a very hard year for the girls. It's been a hard year for all of us." He turned away. Christy swore she heard tears in his voice. It worried her.

"Is Emma okay?" She asked before thinking. She normally asked about her lover, but his questioning glance told her here it was considered odd. She should play this like a local, shouldn't she?

No. Christy tried to sit up. This world was a mess, in ruins. She'd never be able to fake understanding what happened. Not and stick around. Christy had no where else to go and she wasn't going to be ready to leave until there was enough death to recharge her.

Of course, after seeing the mobs running around the city, maybe that wouldn't take too long.

"I should call the others and let them know the mysterious stranger is awake." He smiled at her, his fangs prominent. "Does our mysterious stranger have a name?"

"Christy" Christy muttered as she glanced around the familiar room. "Demise" Until she knew more about her double in this world her real name might not be a good idea.

"Demise?" He clearly didn't believe her. Christy didn't really care. She moved to try and sit up.

"I changed it." It didn't take long for her to be left alone as he went to call whoever was in charge in this world. Maybe it was Emma.

Her Emma helped her understand her powers. Christy wondered if this Emma could help her learn how to find a needle in a haystack.

……………….

Christy stared down at the bandage on her hand while she waited for the Xmen to finish coming in and sitting down. Her eyes traveled to the wrapped foot and then her latest gun wound. This one was a first to actually bleed. She knew she was lucky it didn't hit her lungs, but to believe she'd actually almost bleed to death was hard to grasp.

"So you're from an alternate world." Christy just sighed. The way they'd all stepped out to talk after she'd explained how she'd gotten to this world screamed don't upset the crazy lady to her.

"No one ever believes me when I tell them. You'd think I'd learn to just lie." Christy rolled her eyes at her own naiveté in thinking telling the truth was the way to go.

"So you've done this before?" Scott asked. Christy's eyes traveled to the blonde telepath she'd tried not to stare at during this little interrogation. Here's to hoping they had more in common than their looks.

"Emma Grace Frost. The heir to her fathers business, but she turned him down."

"And anyone capable of picking up a business magazine would know that." Emma told her, but Christy recognized the hint of curiosity in those familiar eyes.

"She was angry at him for manipulating her brother. Your brother was gay and happy with a man that your father had deported. He sent the only family that loved you completely into a mental institution for trying to kill himself, where he actually went insane. He didn't like that you wanted to be a teacher so he…" Christy stopped speaking, and her voice softened. "I can go on. My Emma told me the whole story."

"Your Emma?" Scott asked. Christy didn't bother looking at him. Just being around him gave her the creeps.

"She told me the day before we went to her mother's funeral together. Your father is a cold, cold man. He didn't like me." Christy smiled at the memory of Emma making it clear that the Frost family now had another gay member. He'd sputtered and threatened Christy privately, but really… he had nothing on her and she knew it. Mr. Frost hadn't liked it one bit when Christy laughed as he suggested that rumors could be created. Her life could be destroyed if she didn't leave his daughter. Her smile faded a little as she remembered Emma coming in from the kitchen, angry and eyes flashing as she did what she'd promised she wouldn't do. She'd reached into her father's mind and changed him so he wouldn't threaten Christy. Where Christy didn't feel threatened, Emma had. Emma had held her more tightly that night. "When he threatened me, Emma stopped him."

"I stopped him?" Emma spoke more softly and moved to stare into her eyes. Christy could feel the brush of a familiar telepath against her shields and she lowered them. She could feel the warmth and it brought tears to her eyes as she ached for the Emma that would look at her with love as she did this. Christy felt Emma reach in and touch Christy's soul.

"Why would he threaten you?" Henry asked and Christy had to keep herself from shaking her head at how little these people knew about their Emma.

"He didn't approve of our… friendship." She hesitated with that word as she noticed again how close Emma and Scott tended to stand. It was a horrible idea, it made her sick at the wrongness of it, but she suspected she'd found a world where her lover was with a Summers. Christy's eyes caught Emma's understanding and surprised eyes as the telepath withdrew from her mind.

"She is what she says she is." Emma stared at her, "but there's something else. There is another consciousness in there."

"What?" Christy's eyes widened as she felt for another inside her, but she didn't know what she'd have to look for. She didn't feel different.

It turned out that Christy had somehow merged with her double. Emma told her that, but no matter how hard Christy thought she couldn't feel anyone else in her mind with her. It was only slightly comforting that it wasn't her blood that was low, her body that failed to do what it normally did. Christy now possessed another Christy, one that while a mutant, didn't hold nearly her level of power. At least not yet, Christy almost pitied her for a moment, until she thought about what it took to develop her powers to the level she had. Her doubles life must have been more peaceful, safer, until now, but Christy's full powers would have been more helpful in Manhattan.

How did her double survive Manhattan? It wasn't like she could have proved she was a mutant could she? Maybe she knew how to make those eyes glow. It would have kept the mutant vultures away. From what she'd seen on the news mutants had taken over the city and humans were attacked regularly. Maybe her double wasn't as disadvantaged as Christy assumed.

After getting an invitation to stay at the school, which she accepted despite the fact that the place was in ruins the Xmen got up to leave so she could rest.

"My mother" Emma spoke casually as she stood by the bed. "How did she die? In this world she's still alive."

"It was an overdose." Christy stared at the woman by her hospital bed and ached to reach out and touch her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you grew up in that."

"I imagine father wasn't too happy to see me show up with my lesbian lover to the service was he?" Emma gave Christy a small smile.

"My Emma was never so demonstrative in public before or since." Christy sighed. "She's in trouble. Scythe can affect time, and I tell myself that I can get to her before…" Her voice cracked. "I don't know how to control them."

"Well, we'll have to work on that then dear, won't we?" It sounded so much like the matter of fact blonde Christy loved that Christy felt an ache. "We'll get you home."

"Thank you."

"Scythe?" Emma asked.

Christy gave Emma a slightly embarrassed smile. "I named my portal. Death's biggest weapon is his Scythe. It just made sense."

"Oh, Demise and Scythe. I see." Emma's eyes held some amusement. It faded with her slight smile. "I think perhaps we should look into your poor double."

"I can't sense her."

"I barely get echoes myself." Emma stared at her. "It's hard to believe the potential you've just dropped into her lap. The world isn't too comfortable with Omega mutants, or any mutants, right now."

"What happened?" Christy thought about the ruins of the city, and this school. The mobs, So much pointed to something huge.

"Magneto happened. He destroyed Manhattan." Christy just blinked as Emma told her that. This world was really different. Her worlds Manhattan was fine. Mystique lived there, and Christy had stayed in the city with her a few times. It seemed so unreal. "I really need to go check on the children."

"Okay." Christy swallowed hard as she watched the sway of white clad hips as the telepath left her alone with a too busy Henry. It was boredom that finally forced her to try and rest again.

……………….

"I don't know who you are, but you really shouldn't have let yourself get so weak." Christy spoke with a bit of disapproval. "You're a mutant for god's sake. This world isn't a picnic for our kind."

"It looks rather odd for you to talk to her like that." A coolly amused voice drew Christy's attention away from the mirror in the gym. "And from what I hear Christy, whichever Christy, is not unusually weak. She's just not a fighter."

Christy glanced once more at her reflection then back to Emma, who'd talked her into trying out the pieced together gym. She felt a little embarrassed having been caught. It wasn't like her double ever answered. It usually felt like she was talking to herself, but she was frustrated that all the things she'd spent the couple of years learning she couldn't do.

"When I first found out I'd lost my physical body I was horrified." Christy set the weight down and moved to grab a towel. "Now I miss not having it." She toweled off the sweat her physical therapy caused. It almost felt like she was talking with her Emma as Emma smiled at her. No one should have to go through this confusion.

"I have a free hour. The construction is going well and I thought we could talk."

Christy found her eyes once again traveling to the mirror, taking in her sweat soaked hair and clothes. Not really how she'd like to talk with Emma, especially since this Ms. Frost was so busy with the reconstruction that they hadn't talked much in the past two weeks. "Sure."

"Are you healing well? Henry told me that you seem to be pushing yourself a bit much."

"I got her shot. I really should take care of the body while I have it." She sighed. "I wish I could teach her to fight, protect herself… but I don't know that she's even aware of me." Christy sat down on the bench. "If I hadn't come she could have died. I don't know if that kind of death would have triggered our powers, it might have been permanent."

"Ah, yes. You are yet another woman that tends to come back from the dead." There was an edge of bitterness that Christy felt a bit insulted by, but knowing Emma it wasn't directed at her really. "Would your lover wait for you to return even if she'd buried you in the ground? Gone through the motions of moving on only to talk about when you returned?"

"What are you talking about?" Christy stared at the blonde wishing their link existed in other worlds, because this Emma confused her. "I am going home. I won't leave her; I don't care how hard it is. She's my Queen" Her eyes unfocused as she spoke, "She's lost so much, I won't make her lose me too." Oh Emma, I miss you so much Christy thought to herself.

"You really love her." Emma spoke with a sigh as she sat down. "I must admit it is a bit disconcerting to see you pining away after my double like she is more important than the air you breathe."

"In my own body I don't really need the air." Christy gave Emma a slight smile, teasing her. It faded to seriousness. "But I do need her. We're linked you know. Like Scott and Jean…" Christy watched the subtle flinch Emma gave as she finished that thought. "were" The awkward silence was more than slightly uncomfortable. Christy gave up and forged ahead. "Someone tried to kill her. That's how we found out about our link. It's still rather new. I was out of range and I suddenly felt her fear, felt her reaching out for me to comfort her. She was always so strong on the outside, but she was as fragile as anyone. She just let me see that though, no one else."

Christy swallowed as she talked about the night she nearly lost her world again. She had never sat with her own Emma and talked about how scared that had made Christy. "I ran all the way back to the car so fast the others couldn't keep up and I raced back home, all because I knew, I knew she needed me. The call didn't come until I was halfway there. I was too far away. They told me she'd been attacked and she was in the hospital. They told me she might die." Christy's tears started to fall and she barely moved as she felt the hand on her shoulder. "I called in every favor I could, every promise I could make, I made, to get a healer to her hospital room before the night ended. I needed to arrange transportation, protection, because someone had tried to kill Emma and they wouldn't like a healer coming in. I had to take control and be strong; all the while I could feel her slipping away from me. It felt like I was dying again."

Christy went quiet, feeling odd about how comforting the arms around her felt. She didn't let herself look at this Emma, because it hurt. "My Emma needs me."

"I'm sure she does." Emma squeezed her more tightly then let her go. Christy risked looking up then. Her eyes stayed on the ice blue staring back at her and Christy felt herself leaning closer.

"Emma." The man's voice had Christy pulling back quickly, her eyes widening as she realized what she'd wanted to do. "Oh Christy, didn't know you were here."

"It's okay Scott." Christy had to force her eyes away from the blonde as she glanced over at him. His stance screamed he wanted to talk to Emma alone. "She's all yours." Christy grabbed her bag and towel and left, watching the ground as she moved.

"Christy?" Emma called out to her and Christy looked up. "You okay?" The warm touch to her shield just made it hurt all the more. This woman wasn't hers.

"Fine" Christy gave Emma a soft nod. Don't worry. I just… she let her shield down to talk privately.

You miss her Emma sent back, her mental voice sounded so soft and gentle.

Yeah.

"Emma, I wanted to talk to you." Scott dismissed Christy from his attention, fully unaware of the private conversation he was interrupting.

Christy walked past the RV's and campers, past the tents in the mansion yard and the port-a-potties. She skirted around the group of people having lunch on the picnic benches and started down a trail in the woods.

"Christy." A voice called to her from the trees. Christy looked up to see Kurt hanging from his tail in the taller branches. "Ms. Frost asked that I work with you today." A popping sound and Christy found him standing in front of her. "Perhaps my teleportation experience will prove helpful to you, ja?"

He followed her to the spot she liked to sit and think. She didn't do what she normally did, which was lower her shields and try to absorb more power, because something like that was best done in private. In the heat of battle she could control her reaction some, but she didn't want anyone to see her arch into the air, wanting it. She hadn't really bothered to explain where her power came from; she just said it took time to rebuild it. She'd learned her lesson about how even mutants could be disgusted by her power and she didn't need to deal with it here.

Christy sat on the waters edge, staring out at the soft waves that hit the shore. Her temporary teacher sat on the rock nearby. "When I teleport I need to visualize my destination. Not being able to clearly see it in my mind means that I could end up in the wrong place." Kurt explained.

"So you visualize it?" Christy sighed as she tried to see how this was so hard for her. Visualizing her world wasn't hard. It was a destroyed world with little going for it. She'd tried thinking of Emma when she hit the last portal, but she ended up with the wrong one. Did that mean the dead world might actually be different dead worlds? It was a sad thought that there was more than one of those. How many Christy's died when the asteroid hit? How many Christy found a way out and now sat on worlds they weren't born to? Did they have Emma's? She wished there was a way to know, but with so many realities she never would.

"You could visualize the beach you came from."

"There is a beach like that on probably every world." Christy pulled her knees more tightly to her body. The ache in her chest where the muscles were still working on recovering reminded her of her mortality. "I usually focus on a person." Her eyes moved away from his yellow ones. She hadn't told anyone else yet. "Emma."

"You focus on the White Queen?" He looked a little thoughtful. "I see. Well, there are apparently as many Emma's as there are beaches."

"I know." Christy sighed. She had thought of that herself. She didn't need Kurt to tell her how hard her task was.

They talked for a while then he moved to lie beside her on the grass, further from the water. "You don't appear to be surprised by my appearance. Did you know a Nightcrawler on your world?"

"No, I never met him." Christy glanced at him. "But Mystique was my teacher. She taught me about my shape shifting powers, the ones I don't seem to have now." She smiled as she remembered her best friend. "She's a handful, but she really knows how to teach."

"Mystique?" He seemed stunned. Christy glanced at him, knowing why that look was on his face. Before she left her doomed planet she'd read comics, not realizing that everything was possible, and worlds like the ones she read about existed. It was another thing she didn't want to explain to her temporary homes. It just upset people, and she'd learned that details varied too much to assume anything anyway. She'd learned to see someone she'd read about and know that all she really knew was their name. Everything else may or may not be true.

"Different worlds are interesting aren't they? My Mystique is a spy, is yours?"

"Ja" He was a bit quiet. "Ja she is."

"My Emma was so mad at her when she heard how Mystique forced me to walk around naked all weekend until I learned to create clothes." Christy shook her head and pretended to not realize how Kurt might feel about his mother. "I hated it, but I can… or I could… keep my clothes pretty well. I didn't get startled out of them anymore." She sighed. "I miss being a shape shifter."

"Your Emma?" He was changing the subject and Christy could tell he was uncomfortable with the Mystique talk.

"Yes, she was my Emma." Christy decided that this Emma didn't seem to shy away from it, so it didn't have to be a secret. "A few people weren't thrilled with our relationship, but she is worth it."

"I should probably go back for my shift working." He stood up. "You'll get there."

"I know." Her eyes were intense. "Because I don't care if I have to walk through a hundred worlds, I'm going home." She had to believe it. The power of her thoughts drove her portal, and she wasn't risking any weakness. Not with this.

When she was alone again she opened her shields and let herself try to absorb what she needed. It wasn't something she could do quickly. The last portal was sparked by what she'd pulled in at the moment, but she'd been storing up the power for over a month.

…………….

Christy traveled the trail again on her way back and stood to watch the others work for a moment, a deep sigh escaping her. If she were able to use her full powers she'd be able to help a lot. Now she felt like a free loader, taking their food, one of their more comfortable campers, their time and medical supplies, and she gave nothing back.

Maybe if her arm wasn't weak from the gunshot she'd be allowed to help with repairs, but no one wanted her risking her health, especially since it wasn't all her own. With that argument Christy reluctantly had to agree. It just left her bored far too often, because everyone, Emma especially, was always so busy trying to rebuild the school before Fall Semester started.

…………….

"We found a few records." Scott spoke after taking a drink. They were sitting at a picnic table for dinner. Christy noticed the uncomfortable looks Emma and Scott got as they sat down. In the two weeks she'd been here Christy had heard about the affair, and how Jean had just died a day or so before Christy came there. Many people weren't happy with Scott or Emma, but to their credit they kept it quiet and Christy only knew because she knew how not to get noticed when others were talking. "Christy, the other Christy was supposed to fly out the morning of Magneto's attack. She appeared to be here on vacation. Her flight got cancelled and she rescheduled for that night."

Christy just chuckled. That just sounded so unlucky. Her small smile seemed to distract Scott, so she explained herself. "I'll bet she never took a vacation like this in her life and the one time she goes all out she ends up in the middle of World War three." She chuckled again. "Poor thing will probably never want to leave home again."

"You sound distinctly unsympathetic." Henry addressed her attitude. Christy smiled at him.

"What? She got further away from home than I ever did when I was on my own world." She moved to poured herself another glass of juice. "And it isn't like she got too hurt. I didn't see anything too bad. That she did herself, I should say. I got to live with the pain of a hole in my chest. Any vacation you can walk away from." Her teasing smile faded a little as she thought about her last vacation. It took a little effort to cover it up.

"Well, she does have a family. I managed to get some phone numbers so we could inform them that she's alive. A lot of people didn't survive that war." He sounded a bit angry and his glare told her he'd taken something she said personally.

Christy went quiet as she realized he wasn't angry at her, not really. She never really liked him, but she had liked the Jean, at least the Jean she'd seen in the comics of her own world. Her voice was softer, but still firm. "If I can't find thing to laugh about, I'd spend all my time crying. I'm not heartless; I just refuse to let death touch me any more than I have to. I learned it the hard way."

She stared into his eyes. "And you've got to admit," She smiled at him, making an effort for Emma's sake and for the sake of peace while she stayed here. He was grieving and bound to be a bit angry. He had lost his soul mate and whether he'd realized that or not, she did. Emma wasn't his soul mate. It had always been Jean. "If she wanted to do something to remember her time in New York, running for your life and hiding in alleys is memorable."

"And no one forgets their first possession." Someone at the other end of the table teased, but she didn't see who said it.

"Actually, I think a lot of people forget that." Christy smiled at Emma and winked. The telepath looked a little surprised for a moment, but the smile Christy got in response was small but beautiful. "If you do it right."

The conversation thankfully moved away from her, but Christy noticed Emma looked at her a little longer than anyone else had. It would have been nice to know what she was thinking. It was almost a reflex to lower her shield enough to ask silently. What?

We didn't get a chance to finish our conversation. Emma was watching Scott as if she were paying attention to what he was saying, but Christy suspected it was just for show. And I had promised to start training you, but I've been rather busy. I do want you to know I have every intention of helping you.

I know. Christy gave her a small smile, not caring if people realized she was talking with Emma telepathically. You wouldn't be an Emma if you weren't a workaholic. She was used to being rescheduled, and she'd admit if it weren't always so important she'd be bitter about it.

Tonight I have to work on a few things, but if you aren't asleep when I'm done I could drop by and we could start training. Emma was watching her for her reaction. Christy liked the idea. It got so lonely in her trailer at night. She didn't really try too hard to mingle.

Wake me if you have to. It was hard to see this woman at times, but even being around a different Emma helped her feel less alone.

Scott did manage to find the phone numbers for a few of the other Christy's family. They might be worried.

Not a job she wanted, but she understood how worried they'd be. Get me a cell phone and the numbers and I'll do something. She'd probably lie. There was no way to know if her double had told anyone about her being a mutant, and that was something Christy wasn't going to do for her.

"Emma, I was thinking that if we are opening for classes in August we need to tell the students." Scott interrupted them again. Christy sat back and watched the slight irritation Emma didn't quite manage to conceal.

"I've already taken care of that Scott dear. Classes will begin a little later this year, but everyone is aware that we are not shutting down." It sounded a little strained. Christy felt the urge to glare at Scott and she didn't even know what for, just that he'd done something that upset Emma. Instead she pushed back from the table and started to get up.

"Christy." Emma stopped her retreat. "I'll send those things to you as soon as I manage to get back to the office." The office was a temporary structure Emma was using to organize reconstruction. "Will you be by the water again?"

"Yeah." A slight blush covered her cheeks. She spent a lot of time at the waters edge working on pulling her power to her. To people that didn't know about how her powers worked, and here it would be all of them, she would seem rather strange. Well, maybe Emma had run across what her powers were while telepathically scanning Christy, but the others wouldn't know.

……………..


	3. Ruins 1 Part 2

500 Miles – Ruins

By Princess Alexandria

That night Christy was laying in bed in the trailer she miraculously didn't have to share with anyone. The cell phone she'd borrowed was lying on her stomach as she stared at the ceiling. That call had been just as unpleasant as she'd expected. Christy's mother had cried in relief, and then when Christy explained that she couldn't return, because she'd been possessed by a mutant and they were trying to separate them it had turned to fear. Christy didn't bother to tell the woman that she was talking to the "parasite." Christy's mother wasn't necessarily anti-mutant, but she sure didn't sound like she believed it was an innocent accident that caused this mess. In the end Christy had to speak in a different tone and pretend to be the "alien presence" assuring the woman that it was an accident and that it would be fixed. That she meant no harm. She lied and said she'd responded to Christy's needing help and had trouble separating, that she'd been playing hero.

Christy now had a very real headache.

The knock on the door pulled her out of the staring trance she had going with the ceiling and she rolled off the bed to get the door. Emma stood there. "Come on in." Christy held the door opened and found herself glancing at the sky before closing it. "How are you doing?"

"Well, aside from the headache of dealing with building permits, I'm fine." Emma glanced around the small trailer, undoubtedly smaller than her own, before moving to sit on the one chair. Christy sat on the bed facing her. "And you? Did you make that call?"

Christy sighed. "Yeah" her slumped shoulders told the story so she didn't elaborate on too much of it. "Apparently Christy is a teacher and I better get the hell out of her before she has to go back to work. Her mother doesn't want me destroying her little girl's life. I tried to tell her I saved her damned life, but she wasn't listening too well. I get the feeling her mother thinks I look like a slimy worm and was shoved into her ear to take over her mind."

"So I gather you didn't mention your origins?"

"No." Christy scooted a little on the bed to try and get more comfortable. "I don't know if Christy is out to her family and I wasn't going to out her as a mutant if she wasn't." It felt strange talking about another Christy and using her own name for another person so much.

"It's interesting that she's a teacher." This was turning into visiting and chatting, instead of the private lessons Emma promised, but Christy just liked hearing that cool, educated voice speak to her. God, she missed home. "We are currently trying to fill a few positions. Do you think she'd be interested?"

Christy sighed. "I have no idea." That Christy would have to move away from home and Christy knew how hard that would have been for her if she hadn't had the circumstances she did. If she had a job offer in New York before everything she'd been through, she would have been flattered, but she wouldn't have taken it. The added incentive of having a beautiful woman to move to wasn't here for this other Christy. Emma had Scott, and Emma was most likely the one any Christy would want.

"Well, without her around to talk, I guess I'll just have to go about filling the positions the regular way." Emma sighed and seemed to relax, making it clear how tired she was. "Did your Emma run a school? It is tiring work planning for children's education while also reassuring parents that this school is still someplace they can trust. Having a teacher destroy Manhattan is hard to explain away. I must have said we've improved our screening process for hiring a hundred times today."

Christy's expression softened as she recognized how Emma was fishing for information. The telepath was curious. "My Emma was a teacher, and she had run schools in the past, but not right now." She wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell this woman about her lover. There were things that perhaps it would be best not to know. "It doesn't really matter what she does, she always seems to work hard, too hard. I think you have the same problem." Christy reached out to touch the other's blonde hair in a tender caress, one she normally did with her own Emma, but this woman seemed a little startled. Her hand moved away awkwardly and Christy smiled an apology at Emma. "You look so tired. The others might not see it, but I know what to look for. You aren't the only headmaster. You need to be able to rely on your partner." And sadly she'd picked him as her partner in life as well.

"Yes, well." Emma's opened expression closed off. "If I want the school to open in time I have to do it myself. Scott has other priorities."

And that didn't sound good at all. "Your priorities should be his." Christy couldn't imagine having her Emma working herself to death and not making it her priority to help her. It didn't matter if Christy believed in what her lover was doing or not, if she needed help Christy would be there.

"Yes, well your Emma has you well trained." Emma's words sounded a bit insulting, "but I haven't had him long enough to break him in yet." Christy was betting the venom wasn't really for her. It might have been, but Christy usually gave her lover the benefit of the doubt and that attitude extended to her double.

"I can't lift much and moving my arm too much isn't that great, but I can make phone calls, file…" She stared into those sky blue eyes. "I can help you. I don't want you collapsing from exhaustion."

"It's hard getting anything for a publicly known mutant school." Emma sighed. "I hear insults, threats, on a regular basis when all I'm doing it calling to try and get more supplies delivered. Never mind the fact that we all have to do construction because I haven't been able to find a crew to do the job." The blonde pulled a metal flask from somewhere and took a deep drink. Drinking? Christy stared at the hint that Emma may have more problems with this than she'd been admitting.

"I'm used to abuse." Christy's expression became stony, her own warrior mask. "I've done some rather unpopular things in my past; I can take it."

Emma just stared at her, and Christy hoped she wouldn't ask. Christy wasn't going to tell. "Okay, come to the office tomorrow and we'll see if you last more than a few hours." Christy just nodded. This was really Scott's job, but if he wasn't going to watch out for his lover Christy would. She couldn't just sit back and watch Emma run herself into the ground.

"What do I get if I last the entire day?" She teased. Emma's wicked smile promised more than the woman would deliver, and Christy blushed before looking away.

"You are so easy dear. Your lover must have had a lot of fun teasing you."

"I like to think so." Christy smiled as she remembered some of her lover's more playful moments.

"Keep your mind focused on her." Christy felt a tap on her shield and struggled to pick a more innocent memory before opening the door. "If you learn to hold your focus teleporting will be easier. I'd bet money that a stray thought is what landed you here and not back on the beach you came from."

Christy sighed as she recognized the truth in that thought. Panic tended to make her mind race. Even though Emma came to her tired, it was Christy that had to stop first. The effort to not let her mind wander was more difficult than she would have expected.

"She looks pretty." Emma smirked at her.

Christy smiled back. "My lover is the prettiest woman on the planet." Her teasing smile faded to a gentler one when Emma nodded thanks for the compliment. They looked identical after all.

When Christy showed Emma to the door, more a move to be polite than a necessity, since standing up and taking two steps was all it took, she stood in the doorway and watched the blonde walk away for a little while. A quick glance at the sky showed the nearly full moon that was making Emma's blonde hair seem to shimmer like a goddess. "Most beautiful woman on the planet." She whispered to herself as Emma turned and moved out of sight.

………………

"Look, you have to need money." Christy's voice was cold and her eyes stared unseeingly at that cup of pens on the desk. "Everyone likes money. This place is going up if I have to put plastic up instead of windows. Just because you don't sell to me doesn't mean I'll go away. The whole damned city fell down around my ears and I'm still here. I'm like that. Now I'm willing to agree to buy from you, and I know you'll gouge me on the price." And if he wasn't the last bastard she'd called she would have just hung up on the idiot. "Think of it as your small piece of retribution, even though the people I work with killed the bastard that did all that damage. It isn't like anyone notices that." She reached out and picked up the pen. "Yes, I want a delivery by next Friday. I don't have a safe place to store anything so I can't take a shipment early." She started to write down what he was telling her. "You do realize that if you didn't screw us you'd get repeat business. Everyone knows how destructive mutants can be, especially the young ones." His pause made her smile. Money, even men like him would sing a new tune for money.

When she hung up she turned in her chair and was startled to see a girl looking at her with her mouth open just a bit. The eye patch was a new fashion statement. "Can I help you?" Christy asked politely. There weren't a lot of students staying here, in fact almost none of them were. A safe house somewhere else had the kids. Christy had been offered a place there as well, but she needed to be nearby so Emma could help train her, in the few spare moments the blonde had.

"I'm Marie." The girl finished coming into the office trailer. The place was easily three times the size of Christy's small dwelling and had a few well equipped office stations. "I was supposed to come and get a few files for Vange."

Christy looked around at the file cabinets. Hopefully she wouldn't need to figure out this system. "Do you know what you need?"

"Yes, I just need…" Marie moved around her a bit cautiously. Christy's eyebrow rose at the effort being made to not be in her way.

"Do you know where the shipment list is?" Maybe this girl worked here. Christy could add her own small victory to it. "Oh, and when those windows come in, stay away from them until I have them checked for bombs." She smiled, teasing a little, but Marie looked startled and her one eye widened a bit too much. "I was just teasing." She spoke more softly and watched the girl start to relax, before she moved to open a file drawer. "But I should check them, shouldn't I?"

Marie hesitated. "It would probably be a good idea. It didn't sound like he liked you very much."

"Whoever had the stupid idea to out a school should be shot." Christy grumbled as she sat back in her chair.

"Well, I don't know anything about that." Marie turned to look at her, the nervous slump was shrinking. "But it is a bit hard. I… I had to lie about where I was living when I went to the grocery store with Ms. Munroe. I was afraid they wouldn't sell us any milk. It seems like everyone's heard about this school." Marie bowed her head a little shyly and reached out a hand, holding a file. "Here's your list."

"Thank you." Christy stared at it a moment before taking it. This girl was scarred, hurt, and timid, but pretty competent. "It was nice meeting you." She meant it as she watched Marie leave.

After another hour she still hadn't found a supplier for the roofing. She hung up and took a deep breath, so she wouldn't start out on the next phone call wanting to rip them apart. Each asshole should earn their own angry non-customer; she didn't want to give it away.

The door opening loudly and quickly startled her and Christy found herself reaching for a gun that wasn't there. Luckily it wasn't because a young man stood there, obviously looking for someone. "Is Emma here?" Her eyebrows drew together as she looked around the place herself. She couldn't see where she was supposed to have hid an Emma. "The lumber guy is here and the order isn't right."

"She's taking a nap." And Christy had barely managed to gently manipulate the woman into doing that. Only experience with that type of battle against her lover enabled her to win. "And don't bother her." She added as he started to turn to go. She looked around Emma's desk for the name of the company supposed to be delivering today. She then grabbed the file and moved to stand up. Her steps were quick and confident as she marched past the blonde young man to the door.

A look at the truck driver showed a frustrated man being glared at by the locals. Christy took a deep breath and smiled, her steps had to be slowed so she didn't seem like she was swooping in to attack. It was time to use her training to her advantage. "Hi." She smiled and stepped forward. "We have a problem?"

"Well, I didn't get an order for…" He outlined the various missing items, which Christy could recognize they needed desperately. This was the only lumber company willing to work with them so she wasn't going to alienate him.

"I know they were ordered. I was charged for them." She spoke gently and glanced around, glad to see everyone apparently was more than willing to just let her deal with this. A few men were unloading what had arrived. She sighed, exaggerating it just a little and looked up at him with a slightly lost look on her face. "I don't know what to do. I need to keep this project moving or we'll never be ready for the kids." She stared at him like he could fix all her problems, a trick she'd learned from experience. "What should I do now? Without those things, we can't move on with the construction." She shook her head. "I know I ordered them." Actually Emma did, but this worked better. Emma wasn't the best at playing woman in distress, and while Christy hated to do it, she had to admit it worked, especially if she added flirting to it.

"Well…" He went quiet when she looked up at him and ran her hands through her hair, straightening it. The way she leaned to do that showed more cleavage. "I'm supposed to be off work after this shipment, and with the mess Magneto made it will be a while before we have a truck to deliver here again."

"Oh." Her eyes widened in a calculated move. "I can't…" Her hands moved through her hair in a nervous pulling.

"I could swing by the warehouse tonight and load it up." He gave her a half smile. Hooked.

"Would you?" She smiled and glanced around at the construction then back to him. "Oh, that would be great." She'd caught the woman in white heading their way, but Emma seemed to loose steam. She slowed down and moved to stand by some other people. Christy grinned flirtatiously with the trucker and acted just a little shy. "You are a life saver."

"Hey, you have to get this place up for the kids." Oh, how overdone. She smiled like he'd impressed her with his caring about children, but she knew it was his libido that got them that wood. She'd flashed enough cleavage and batting eyes for these supplies.

She even waved as he drove away, bouncing just a little. Her breasts weren't large enough to do much, but it was the thought that counted. "Men are so easy." She muttered as she felt Emma step up next to her.

"I thought you were acting a little strange for you." Emma was smirking. "I see you know the power of a little sex appeal."

"I learned from the best. It's nice not to be the one being controlled for a change."

They went back to the office and Christy explained what she'd been doing while Emma slept. "Not bad." Emma stared at the faxes that came in as she talked. "Tonight, I think we should work on your focus again."

Well, that was random, but Christy just nodded and answered the phone that had started to ring. She glanced out the window as she talked with the lumber company, verifying her order. Scott was chatting with Henry. Chatting? Why hadn't she seen him in this office even once today? What could possibly be so important he that couldn't even come and check to see if Emma needed a break?

……………

"I need to meet with our suppliers tomorrow to pick out the flooring Scott." Emma was talking, and while Christy tried not to eavesdrop on her, it was hard not to hear a voice so familiar to her. Even though Christy was busy eating quietly and wasn't a part of the conversation going on across the table she heard a tiny note of hope in Emma's voice. "Perhaps you could join me? We need to make decisions about flooring, as well as a few other fine details."

"I need to go into town and take care of some business." His voice didn't even hold any warmth. It was hard to hear in his tone that he was talking to a lover and Christy made sure not to look up, because she was sure her disapproval would show in her expression. He'd been like this the entire week Christy had been working with Emma, and it seemed like it wasn't anything new. She hated to know any Emma was being brushed aside like that. She kept her eyes on the plate and barely managed to keep her sigh quiet.

"Oh well, it isn't like you have any vested interest in making sure this school opens." Christy heard the accusation in that voice and Christy glanced up at them.

"I'm not doing anything." She spoke while staring at Emma. The woman turned her head from Scott to look at her. Christy gave Emma a weak smile. "I've been told I have an eye for color."

"Don't you think you should be working on separating yourself from your double?" Scott's didn't sound happy. It wasn't like she was asking to date his Emma; she just didn't think Emma would enjoy doing all the deciding without anyone to talk to.

"Really Scott, what do you think she's doing when she's sitting by the water?" Emma's defending her before she had to say anything made Christy smile just a little. "That is what you are doing isn't it?"

Christy's eyes traveled between the couple. "Um, I'm trying to build up my power reserves. I have to recharge, and she has the same powers. I feel like she's siphoning off some of my work." Emma seemed interested in what she was saying, so Christy focused on her. "It's just a guess, but if I can pull in enough I might be able to recreate my body again. I really don't want to take her with me when I leave and I am not staying."

"I'm sure she'll be relieved to know that." Scott's words were casual, but Christy felt it was a jab. When the couple started to talk again Christy tried to focus on other conversations going on around her. She didn't feel comfortable observing the quiet, and from what she could tell, often telepathic, lovers spat.

She finished eating while staring at the windows that reflected nicely on the mansion. They'd come in a few days ago and looked good, but Christy couldn't help but think so many windows were a mistake in the design, because they would get destroyed in some way. It probably won't be two months before someone had to call that company again for replacements.

After dinner she went back to her place by the side of the water. It took some effort to ignore the glances she knew she was getting as she walked away.

…………….

"I'm sorry about Scott dear." The voice startled her and Christy had to take a few breaths to try and calm her blush. She'd been receiving and if Emma hadn't spoken when she did the woman would have heard Christy moan. Her body was shaky and Christy did her best to mask that as she turned to see Emma leaning against a tree with her arms crossed in front of her. The raised eyebrow made it clear that Emma had noticed something. Christy's blush returned.

"Its okay" was all she said. Saying it bothered her wouldn't really do any good. She hated him, and this version of him wasn't really likeable either. Perhaps asshole Scotts were a universal truth. Was universal the right word for it? Christy found herself pondering that distractedly until Emma spoke.

"Why here?" Christy turned to stare at the water, but she could hear Emma starting to walk toward her after the blonde asked the question.

"I don't know." Christy sighed. "When my powers really developed I was on a shore. My real body is made of water now." She swallowed. She felt so lost and unsure of what to do, but she tried to seem confident to the others. "I don't know if I can separate us. I don't know what to do, and I'm so tired of hearing people criticize me for this like I did it on purpose. I never woulda done this to her on purpose." The phone call she'd gotten earlier still stung. Christy's mother wasn't happy she was still there. "Christy has to start work in a few weeks and I need to decide if I should call and tell them that she needs a leave of absence. I have to decide now." Christy pulled her knees up tight to her body. "Decide whether I have any hope or not."

"We will manage to do this." Emma moved to sit on the ground beside her. The conviction in her voice helped. Christy shifted to watch Emma instead of the water. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to make this a priority."

"You have a lot to do." Christy shrugged. "I know how important kids are to you."

"But you're here helping me when you'd rather be saving your lover." Emma glanced at the water. "I must admit Scott's attitude today has something to do with that. I may have let it slip that you are working to return to my double, that you love her enough to play roulette with realities." Christy was one of the few people that could catch the slight slump in Emma's shoulders. "I had some problems not to long ago and he wasn't there. He didn't try to be there."

"You said I've been trained longer." The sensitive conversation was reaching an uncomfortable level. She wanted to reach out and comfort the woman, but this wasn't her lover and she couldn't pull this Emma into a hug and not expect Emma to be uncomfortable there. Still this was unusual for Emma; at least Christy's Emma wouldn't unload her problems on someone else.

"Yes, well there is that." Emma didn't sound convinced. "It's nice to know at least one Emma has someone like you. Someone who puts her first."

Christy felt a bit more uncomfortable with this evidence that Emma wasn't happy. "Thank you." She didn't know what else to say to that comment.

Emma waved a hand, a common gesture that always seems to mean that topic was over. "So I thought I'd come here and try to get a better understanding of your powers so I could help you."

"What?" Christy wasn't sure she wanted to explain them. She'd seen too many people look at her like she was disgusting for feeding off of death's energy.

"I want to try and contact her again." Emma felt like she'd gotten closer, but Christy hadn't seen her move. "Maybe if she isn't working against you you'll be able to pull out."

Christy just stared at Emma a moment. Working against her? She hadn't even considered that. She'd assumed the other Christy was accidentally siphoning off her power. "What do you need?"

"Lower your shield and let me in." Emma's voice was a hint deeper, so sexy. Christy didn't lower her shield right away. She just stared at the woman and wondered if she should. Finally her own trust of another woman made her lower her eyes and surrender. Her fists clenched as she lowered the shield more than she normally did for telepathic communication. Some of the death energy was leaking in.

"Ohh, nice little secret." Emma muttered. "It always feels like this?"

"Yes."

"It's amazing you ever leave the beach." Emma teased and then the blonde's expression became more serious. "Just relax and do what I tell you."

"Where have I heard that before?" Christy smirked as her own voice deepened with her arousal. "All you Emma's are so kinky." Part of her was embarrassed teasing this woman like this, but her power and the intimacy of the situation seemed to call for a tension breaker.

"Really?" Emma gave her a real smile for a moment, before it became business again. "Try to pull in more power. I'll follow the leak to her. She's well hidden."

It felt like an hour, but was probably not, when Emma spoke again. "Pull in harder and try to separate now."

"How?" Christy muttered as she pulled on her powers. She'd never tried anything like this, but she used her shape shifter training, to try and visualize herself stepping out of this body.

"Keep trying." Emma sounded strained. Christy reached out and found a new arm reaching toward the telepath as she leaned on the other two. Her eyes widened and she struggled to press harder.

"Emma!" The loud voice startled her and Christy's third arm went transparent and then water splashed across her lap.

"Oh God!" Christy panted as she stared at where she'd almost gotten free. Water darkened her jeans, the water she'd managed to pull into a whole.

"Emma!"

"What is it Scott!" Emma growled out. "We were working." The blondes voice softened as the man could be heard coming there way. "We have something now. Next time we try this I think we'll be able to do it."

"What did you do?" Christy felt a little out of phase, drunk, on the power.

"I taught her how to close the leak." Scott stepped into the clearing, but Emma kept her attention on Christy. "She is aware of what is going on Christy. She doesn't blame you." Emma's sky blue eyes stared into her soul. "She told me to tell you that she hopes you get home to your lover. She feels your loneliness."

"Oh." Christy swallowed as she pitied the woman she held prisoner in her on skin. Christy looked away from Emma and out to the water so that no one would see the watery eyes. "Thanks. Maybe next time."

"We will next time." Emma stood up. "She also says to take the leave of absence. She's accepted my offer to stay a little longer and learn about her powers. Now that she sees she isn't a weak mutant she wants to know more. See, you did manage to help her." Christy just nodded that she'd heard and understood the message.

Emma moved to Scott. "Well, what was so important you had to interrupt us when we were making such good progress?" There voices grew more distant as they walked away. Christy just sat on the shore staring at the water.

"I just want you to know, I'm trying." She whispered to the woman she now knew was aware of her. It felt like a very nervous first date, she wasn't sure what to say. "I won't stop trying. I'm so sorry about this."  
……………………..

"Bright Eyes." Someone teased and Christy just nodded as she walked past to go to the office. She remembered that one anti-mutant bigot calling her that, but from friendly lips it wasn't that bad. She'd spent the past two weeks going to the shore for every spare moment, absorbing all she could, and her double had a unique reaction to that. Her eyes now glowed. Maybe it had something to do with actually having a physical body. Her own form didn't do that regularly, just when she created portals.

Emma thought the split might go better if she was already fully recharged when they tried again. Christy felt like any more power and neither of the women in this body would have room to stay. She felt a little shaky all the time. Apparently she wasn't meant to always hold a full charge.

It was an hour later that someone came in and Christy looked up from the paperwork she was doing. "We need Emma to sign for a shipment." Sam held out the form. "Where is she?"

Christy just sighed and held out a hand for the clipboard the trucker must have handed over. "I'll take care of it." She glanced out the window at the slightly torn up grass. The trailers and tents were finally gone and the mansion was livable, if still without heat and a few other things.

When she got to the second floor bedroom door she reached out to knock. Her fist never hit the wood. A moan reached her ears and she froze. Her eyes widened as she heard it again. It made her heart ache; it was a noise she'd heard countless times before. A sound her lover used to make and one that Christy missed as she lay alone in bed night after night.

She turned and moved to take the stairs quickly. She wasn't interrupting that. She couldn't knock and have Emma answer the door, knowing what was going on, and with Scott at that. It was so wrong. That Scott didn't seem to respect Emma nearly enough to be let into Emma's bed.

She stared at the form that still needed signing as she stood by the front door. She took the pen and rested the clipboard on a table as she visualized Emma's signature. Her forgery was close enough to not be questioned, not without a handwriting expert. She waved Sam over from the door. "She's busy. See if that's enough and if not come to me." It wasn't like Christy hadn't forged that signature before. As she moved to hand it to him, she almost dropped it as she saw Scott talking with the truck driver in the distance. "Um... thanks." She muttered as Sam took the form. So Emma was alone?

She closed the front door and slowly made her way to the office, all the while feeling ashamed of her impulse to go back up those stairs. Not her Emma… Not her Emma… she repeated to herself as she sat down and stared at the bills she had to pay. She had to try three times to do the math for the windows company before she could pull out a check and filled it out. Emma would sign it later. Christy wasn't going to risk forging a check.

She needed to go home. It was starting to feel too comfortable being here, like she was creating a life, and she had a life. She wanted it back.

…………….

There were others around, Christy could see them but she didn't pay them any attention. They were pretending to be busy doing other things, but she could feel the eyes on her. "So, tonight is the big night." Marie spoke softly. Christy just gave her a small smile. "It was nice knowing you."

"I might not make it." Christy voiced her fear.

"Oh you will." Marie smiled and Christy once again felt a little pain at having to pick and chose realities. She'd never met this girl before this world, but Marie had been invaluable in helping Christy help Emma with the construction.

Emma came out of the mansion and Christy stood a little taller. She wasn't fooling herself. The Xmen casually hanging out around the mansion were there in case she lost control of her powers and caused problems. They were right to be afraid; Christy could imagine the damage Scythe could cause if it went wild.

Emma walked with along the path to the beach Christy had been visiting for over a month. "You know, if you don't feel ready you could wait." Emma spoke softly, in a tender tone that Christy hadn't heard directed in her way since she left her home.

Christy took a deep breath and stopped walking to face Emma. For now she couldn't hear anyone around. Perhaps they were going to have privacy. "Emma, you are a remarkable woman and it's killing me to see you every day." She noticed the taken aback look Emma gave her. "You aren't happy, and sometimes I…" Christy turned to look towards where they needed to go. "I need my Emma, and I don't want to get too comfortable here." Christy turned back to the woman so like her own lover. "You aren't my Emma, but I care. You…" Christy struggled with what she should do. If this worked, she wanted to have tried. "You are so easy to love. Don't settle for anything less than real, passionate, I can't live without you, you're all I can think about love." Scott wasn't the one, not for her. "You deserve it." She could see Emma's open expression closing down and she knew Emma didn't like hearing this.

"I don't see that this is any of your business."

Christy sighed before turning to continue walking. "It's not. That's the problem; I can't help but feel like it is. Please, just think about it."

"Thank you for all your help with the construction." And just like that Emma ignored the topic. Hopefully she would think about it. Christy sighed loudly, the only hint she wasn't happy with Emma's reaction.

"You'll take care of her? I don't know how well off she'll be."

"I've been in contact with her. Don't worry; I don't think you've damaged her too badly."

When they got to the spot, where Christy's feet stood in the water, Christy stood awkwardly, instead of sitting like she was supposed to. She stood staring at this Emma. The woman that took her in and worked with her to try and help Christy get home gave her a questioning look. Christy stepped forward and pulled Emma into a hug. It felt so familiar it hurt, but she just held on, resting her head on Emma's shoulder. "Thank you." She whispered, but her heart sang to feel arms around her again. "I'll miss you now."

"You'll do fine. You'll get home and show your lover how much you love her."

"Every minute of every day." Christy's throat felt tight as tears came to her eyes.

"That is more than enough thank you."

Emma's eyes glowed just a bit, not nearly as brightly as Christy's did, but her power was clearly being used. "Separate." Emma spoke the one word command and Christy pulled just a little more power in. It felt like trying to keep eating when you are so full every bite is painful. She screamed in pain as she took a partial step forward, a third, and then fourth leg moving to hold her weight. She pushed hard, and felt like the cold of death surrounded her, enveloped her. Froze the warmth she'd gotten used to.

Christy fell forward and backward at the same time. Two separate splashes and then she screamed, her body shaking with its contained power. Scythe rumbled and appeared.

"Keep her in mind." Emma yelled over the wind. Christy took one moment to look at the woman, looking so young in her amazement in Scythe. So young and so beautiful. Keeping Emma in mind had never been a problem for Christy.

Her eyes moved to her doubles wide eyes, eyes that seemed more aware than Christy expected her to be. "Sorry." Christy mouthed to her.

"Thank you." That woman told her and then Christy just turned and ran for Scythe. Dragging out the goodbyes just made it harder and she needed to be able to concentrate. Emma, I'm coming home, She mentally called out. She felt a different Emma, her friend's mental touch, before the ride began again. The light, shadows, and turbulence that marked the crossing of realities.

……………..

_I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)_

_The Proclaimers_

_When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you  
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you_

_If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you  
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you_

_Refrain  
But I would walk 500 miles  
And I would walk 500 more  
Just to be the man who walked 1,000 miles  
To fall down at your door_

_When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you  
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do  
I'll pass almost every penny on to you_

_Refrain_

_When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you  
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you_

_Refrain_

_When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be  
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you  
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream  
Dream about the time when I'm with you_


	4. Ruins 2 Part 1

500 Miles – Ruins II

By Princess Alexandria

The swirling light show with tentacles stopped, the silence from the noise was sudden and Christy continued to stare where it had been. Her double, the woman who'd taken Christy over and shown her what she could be capable of, was gone.

Slowly she became aware of the cold of the water she'd fallen into. Ever so slowly she moved her arms to start to get up. Her reflexes were sluggish as she tried to get used to actually controlling her own motion again.

Emma was by her side quickly, ignoring the water that must have been ruining those expensive looking boots. "Are you alright dear?" The woman asked softly while holding out a hand for Christy to take.

Christy gave Emma her hand, but didn't move to get up just yet. She stared up at Emma with questioning eyes. "Do you think she'll make it?" It would be a tragedy if that woman didn't make it home. Christy didn't even know that kind of love really existed, and the idea that the couple could be kept apart was horrible.

Emma pulled a little on Christy's arm and Christy had to try hard to stumble to her feet. "I think she won't give up until she does."

Christy felt unsteady on her feet and spots filled her vision as she stood. "Good. I didn't know love like that could exist." Christy started to fall backwards and felt a strong arm pull her more tightly to Emma's body.

The whisper was soft. "It's rare." Emma's voice became more commanding. "Let me carry you. You look too pale."

"You're not super strong." Christy's vision was starting to clear. Emma was staring at her with concern.

"And you're not very big. I can handle it. I want to get you to Henry."

"I can walk." Christy took a tentative step towards the shore. She could walk. She didn't want to give up this freedom so soon after getting it back.

She fell as she turned to see Emma to indicate they could leave, and blackness consumed her vision and thoughts.

…………

"This one is just as stubborn as the last one." Emma spoke and Christy heard it. She didn't move to open her eyes, because she was pretty sure she knew where she was. The med lab. She'd been aware of everything the other woman had been through while she was trapped in her own body, so it looked painfully familiar. "She kept arguing she could do it even as she was passing out. She was lucky I was close enough to catch her."

"It looks like she's dehydrated. Seriously dehydrated." A deeper male voice spoke and Christy started to open her eyes. "Our Christy must have taken some of her water from this Christy's body."

"This is our Christy." Emma spoke more softly. "She's not the one everyone knows, but this one is ours." Christy felt a little warmth at that comment and tried to not think of why.

"Don't move too much. I have an IV in you and didn't feel like I should strap your arm down." Henry spoke and moved into her range of vision. "I don't want you to hurt yourself." He smiled at her and Christy thought he probably didn't think about how it made it look like he was going to bite. "I'm Dr. McCoy." He reintroduced himself.

"Christy." She managed to croak out. It would be confusing, since her double had used her name. "Can I call my mom?" It had been so hard to hear the conversations Christy had with her mother and not be able to talk.

"I'll get you a phone." Emma spoke as Henry seemed to be checking her pulse. Christy turned to look at that woman.

"Thank you." She stared at the blonde, thinking of how this woman had talked with her while she was trapped. Sometimes she clung to that as the only thing that kept her from going insane. She'd felt so helpless and invisible.

When Emma came back to the bed with a phone Henry moved to leave, giving her privacy. When Emma handed the phone over and moved to leave Christy's hand moved to grab her wrist. She held on as tightly as she could, knowing that it was still a weak grasp. "Please stay." She felt nervous calling her mother and didn't want to be alone. Her IV needle poked at her uncomfortably but she didn't let go until Emma nodded and moved to grab a chair with her free arm. "Thank you." Christy reluctantly let go.

It took both her hands to dial and she moved gingerly. One arm was holding the phone to her ear, and the other hand clenched on the bed. "Mom?"She spoke softly when the other woman answered. "I'm back."

"Christy?" Her mother's voice rose in relief. Christy felt tears in her eyes.

"She's gone." It felt a bit like she had a hole in her heart. That Christy had held her captive, but Christy had felt her emotions and the other woman just felt so much more alive than Christy remembered feeling in a long time. "She left me."

"Are you okay bright eyes?"

"I'm fine. A little weak, but I'm fine." Her voice was rough. "I'm taking a leave of absence for Fall Semester. She wasn't sure we could separate in time." She paused. "Mom, she was me. She was me from another world." Her double hadn't told Emma this and she'd never said anything out loud, but Christy had seen the dreams. "She'd been through hell." It had horrified Christy to see it, but to see how strong she could be. How strong her double had to be. Part of her was proud of that. The silence on the other line told her that her mother had no idea what to say. "I know you didn't believe her, but she saved my life. I was running and I couldn't run anymore. They were going to kill me, I knew it. She stopped them."

"Your powers never were dangerous. It's just not right that people would attack you for that." Her mother spoke, and Christy could hear the tears in the voice.

"But I do have power. I just don't know how to use it." Her eyes trailed to the blonde at her side not pretending to not listen. "I've been learning. I could be strong enough to protect myself. I need to be. I'm so tired of running."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm going to stay here, at the school in Westchester. I'm going to learn how to protect myself, because she isn't going to be coming back to do it for me, and if she could… I should be able to."

"You're at the mutant school?" The concern was easy to hear.

"Yes." And it was nice of the other Christy to protect this secret, but she should have known Christy would have told her mother as soon as she realized she was a mutant. She didn't need to protect that one.

"Everyone knows what kind of school that is. If someone knows your staying there they might attack you."

"I'm always afraid. I don't want to be afraid anymore." Her jaw clenched. Yes, they'd kept this secret well, but every time the subject of mutants came up she was nervous. Worried that someone would figure it out.

"You be careful." Her mother couldn't be blamed for keeping her powers such a well guarded secret, for making her reluctant to tell anyone. She was afraid too.

"I'll be fine." Christy smiled; feeling like it might actually be true. She reached out and took the blonde's hand in her own. Her eyes stared into Emma's eyes. "I've got good people watching out for me."

She started to feel tired and her arm was getting a bit heavy, but her mother still needed reassurance. They talked for a long time and then Christy was surprised to feel Emma take the phone from her hand.

"Mrs. Taylor." Emma's cool, cultured voice filled the air. "I'm Emma Frost, the headmaster at this school. I will make sure that Christy gets all the training she needs, but for right now she needs rest. Separating the women was hard on her and she's dehydrated and exhausted. She just didn't want you to worry any longer." It felt strange having someone else talking for her. "I'm sure she'd be happy to call you later, but I can't let her push herself like this tonight."

There was a pause and Emma spoke again. "Here. Say your goodbyes." The phone was held out for her. Christy felt a little irritated by the command, but she was tired and didn't feel like she could hang up on her mother.

"Mom, I'll call you tomorrow."

"You sleep well bright eyes." Her mother's voice was soft, as if Christy were still a five year old.

When Emma took the phone from her this time Christy spoke to her. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. I thought I might go insane in there. If you hadn't…"

Emma rested a hand on Christy's shoulder and it felt nice, comforting. Emma smiled at her and Christy wondered if the other version of herself had left something behind, like her fascination with this blonde. "You rest. We'll talk tomorrow as well. I was thinking that since we have all the teachers we need, perhaps you could be a Teacher's assistant for the semester."

A job? Christy blinked as she thought about that. It was a step down, but she didn't feel prepared to teach. It was something to pay the bills. Her mother wasn't going to like Christy being listed on the payroll here. Christy took a deep breath. "Thanks." It wasn't like she could afford the time off work. This solved her problem.

After Emma left Henry came back to do something to her IV. Christy fell asleep shortly after.

…………

Last night Christy had finished sorting the student records and making copies of materials for a few teachers. She'd finished filing and entering data into the new database she'd created. She'd basically been working non-stop trying to get her work done before the school year really got going. Students had been arriving all this week and classes started Monday. It was a bit strange to be the gofer but she was doing the best she could, even though this was a job she could have done right out of high school.

She thought she should have been at the orientation the night before, but Emma told her she needed Christy to focus on getting that database done. She also mentioned something about a surprise she had planned and she thought it would be best if Christy missed it. When Christy overheard about the excitement she was grateful. It would have given her a heart attack to experience the fake sentinel attack. Even so the prospect of Sentinels attacking her gave her a nightmare that woke her up a bit early.

With all the work she'd stayed up late doing, done, she was free to relax for a little while. She was hoping her walk would help her do that. She wasn't really sure what to do with free time. She'd been working on her powers or the job constantly since she'd gotten out of the med lab.

The crash drew her eyes up and she stared in shock as two men fell from Emma's bedroom window. Scott and a man she hadn't seen before tumbled to the ground, but miraculously stood up to start fighting. Christy broke into a run for the mansion door, worried about what happened in that room and if Emma was okay. She barely paid attention to the few people that were bumped as she passed them, barely let herself feel guilt as she saw one girl fall and drop her books. Christy ran down the hall, relieved to see Henry rushing into Emma's room. If Emma needed help he'd be much better equipped to do it. Still Christy raced down the hall and into the room. Her breath was ragged with running and she thought about the other Christy's comment about her being out of shape again. Emma and Henry stood at the broken window, calmly looking out it.

"Superpowers, a scintillating wit, and the best body money can buy… and I still rate below a corpse." Emma's words confused Christy for just a moment until she realized this was once again about Jean. Christy's eyes caught the rumpled sheets and she felt embarrassed.

"You don't." She spoke softly when Emma's eyes fell on her. It was awkward standing there in a room where Emma and Scott had just had sex, but Christy held her ground and faced the curious expression Emma gave her, knowing it had to hurt for Emma to feel like Jean was still a ghost in that relationship. Of course, this Christy agreed with her double in that it wasn't much of a relationship. "You really don't." She turned with a sigh and headed for the door. She shouldn't have come, and really if there had been trouble what could she have done about it?

"Thank you." Emma spoke softly to her. With a heavy sigh Emma turned her attention back to the window. Her words were more for Henry then. "I suppose we should break those two up. And I really want to talk to Logan about breaking into my bedroom like that."

"What was he doing here?"

"What else, it's about bloody Jean, and how Scott's moved on." Emma sounded tired at she sighed. "It isn't like they'd fight over me like that is it? No, it's always Jean."

"Scott's an ass for making you feel like that." She whispered and felt a blush come to her cheeks when Henry turned to glance at her. She didn't think anyone would hear that. She turned and left. It felt like his eyes burned into her until she was down the hall and on her way to the yard to try and control the kids, who would undoubtedly be excited by the fight. It was hardly a Teaching Assistant's job, but it gave her something to do.

…………

Christy spent most of the first day of school running around delivering supplies that teachers really should have thought about earlier. She ran emergency copies and generally supported the English teachers by herself. She did all this while also working on her database and the new team approach they wanted to spring on the students soon. She was coding the students for their advisors and those students without an advisor were going to have to be reviewed by Emma and Scott.

It was the first project she'd done that had Scott's input at all. She'd almost forgotten he was also in charge around here, because Emma seemed to do all the work.

The new teachers around here looked rather young. Christy guessed some weren't much older than the students, and wondered if they had degrees. It looked like a school reunion, when the teachers got together. It was clear most of them knew each other. Christy sat off to the side in the staff room and sighed. If she could politely slip out she would, but this was going to be a large staff meeting and attendance was mandatory. Why they waited until after the first day of classes was a mystery, but it might have something to do with how hard everyone was working to be ready to teach in time.

She heard snippets of conversation. "I can't believe the Professor left."

"And he left Emma Frost in charge. That's wrong on so many levels. She has no business teaching kids."

Christy glared at that table, but the women couldn't see her. They had no idea how hard Emma worked for those kids, what she sacrificed for them.

"At least Scott is co-headmaster. The Professor never leaves her completely in control of a school. He knows better."

Any minute Emma would come in and hear this. Christy felt her heart hammer as she moved to get up and move to the other table. The other Christy would do this and for once Christy was going to show a little more backbone. Emma was worth it. She stared down at the Native American woman and her friend. She leaned down and spoke softly. "Emma has worked herself to death so they could open this school on time and I never once saw Scott helping her. Don't talk about how she has no business around kids, as far as I saw she's the only one here that cares. I didn't see either of you helping. My god damn double from another world helped more than either of you and she didn't even know the kids." Christy didn't wait for the shocked expression on their faces to fade, she turned to go back to her seat, but when she stood up she froze as ice blue eyes stared into hers. Emma heard that, Christy was sure of it. It was the only explanation for that unreadable look she got.

"Well, now that we're all here." Emma spoke as she stepped to the front of the room. Christy glanced around looking for Scott, thinking they weren't all there just yet, thank god. She didn't want him overheard that conversation she just had with the other teachers too. He slipped in as Emma was walking to the front of the room. "I'm sure you are all aware that the Professor has left us. That doesn't mean that we're going to ignore our commitment to these children." It sounded vaguely rehearsed, a welcome back speech coupled with an explanation of how the new team approach for the students were going to work. They'd already had the assembly to announce it to the students, and some of it seemed like Emma was repeating what had been said. Maybe it was because Christy could see a few faces in this crowd that hadn't been at the previous meeting on this.

Christy must have made a face as she thought about squads of young teenagers and how that might play out, so of course Emma's eyes fell on her quickly. "Do you have something to add Christy?"

It felt like she was in Junior high and was caught not paying attention. Her eyes widened as she felt everyone look at her. "I'm new to the whole mutant thing. Whatever you think works."

"Your confidence in us is reassuring, but you looked like you didn't like something I said." Why was Emma picking on her?

"Well," Christy sighed. She wasn't going to get away with just keeping her mouth shut. "When these kids leave here, they aren't taking their squad with them. What good does it do to know how to work with five other people if the trouble that finds you finds you alone? I just don't get it." She glanced around at the faces looking at her and then gave Emma an apologetic face. "Maybe I'm over thinking or something. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize for your opinion. You stated it well." Emma glanced over the crowd. "Not everyone is going to agree with the decisions we make, but we do need to show a united front with the children. I want you to bring your complaints to me or Scott, and not resort to talking about them in the hallways where the children can here you." Those ice blue eyes turned to the table that Christy had interrupted earlier and Christy suddenly understood why Emma had targeted her. Emma knew Christy wouldn't be argumentative and she could outline the point she wanted to make without giving those people a chance to start bitching.

After the meeting Christy moved for the door, not feeling like trying to visit with people she didn't know. Emma beat her to it and shook her head at Christy. "Oh, you must meet some of the faculty dear. Stick with me and I'll introduce you."

"And are you going to use me as an example for anything else?"

"You had the cutest deer in headlights expression." Emma smirked at her. "It was worth it just for that alone."

"Oh thanks." Christy moved with Emma towards a cluster of people. "Be careful or the next test you give me to photocopy will come back blank. I might even tell the students you prefer to be called Blondie."

"Hello." Emma smiled just a little at the group of teachers. "This is our new TA for the semester, Bright Eyes."

Christy turned to stare at Emma and shake her head before turning back to the group. "I'm Christy, not Bright Eyes."

"Bright Eyes is just your codename right?" One blonde man smiled at her. She remembered her double meeting him. His name was Bob or Bobby. Maybe Robby?

"I'll leave you in their tender care while I take care of a matter or two." Emma told her and Christy felt like she was being abandoned as Emma walked away, leaving her with strangers. Slowly she turned back to them and tried to appear calm.

"So, seems like a nice school." Lame, so lame, she thought with disappointment.

"Well yeah." The blonde man spoke and Christy tried hard to remember what her double had called him. At the time Christy had been rather frustrated and emotional at being trapped in her own body. She wasn't always paying a lot of attention to what she could see and hear of the world around her. "Oh," He seemed to think of something he wanted to talk about. "The windows guy, did we ever get a contract with him? I may have accidentally cracked a window in my room."

"Ah." Christy stared at him a moment. "I don't know. That wasn't me." Of course he asked about yet another time when she was focused on something else. "You could ask Emma. My double left detailed notes for her."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." He looked a little sheepish. The others were talking among themselves and it seemed like Emma had left Christy in this man's care. "It must have sucked being possessed like that."

"It wasn't my idea of fun." Christy found her eyes drawn to the confrontation going on in front of the window. There was no way that body language indicated anything but anger. She felt a bit anxious, not liking the way the woman was confronting Emma about something. "Who is that?"

"That's Dani." His eyes traveled with her. "And it doesn't look like she's happy."

"No it doesn't." Christy had noticed that woman's attitude since before the meeting. Apparently her words fell on deaf ears. Of course they did, no one ever listened to her, not like they did her double. This Christy just didn't have that dangerous, competent air, she knew it. She hated it, but she recognized it.

Christy's fists clenched when the redhead nearby spun around and shifted into a werewolf. She opened her shields and tried to stay focused as her heart raced. Claws and fangs, angry words, it looked like that woman was going to attack Emma.

"Don't even think about it." She muttered and took a step in their direction. All she had was a portal she'd never activated herself. She was no match for a werewolf.

Scott actually did something. He looked pissed and the redhead shifted back. Christy ignored the hand on her shoulder. "Stay out of this one Christy." The blonde man spoke quietly. "It's been a long time coming."

"What kind of place is this?" She turned to glare at him. "We don't need humans to attack us; the teachers around here will kill each other!"

He stepped back a little. "You're glowing Bright Eyes." She blinked at that strange comment then looked into the reflective window to see her eyes were burning bright. She closed her shield after another glance to see things were calming down near Emma, but her eyes kept their glow.

"Great. It'll probably take hours for that to wear off." She muttered. She used to have better control of it, but after New York and all the death around her it became harder. Her and her doubles nightly absorbing also changed her. She felt different, but she couldn't say what it was. She just knew that stopping the nightly ritual now wasn't an option. She could feel that in her bones.

She did it at night so that she didn't go around with glowing eyes all day, and so people didn't see her looking like a mutant. She still wasn't all that comfortable with that.

Scott ran out of the room quickly and he still looked pissed. Christy wanted to go to Emma and make sure the woman was okay, but Emma wasn't leaving Dani and it seemed wrong to walk up to both of them. Christy settled for making another trip to the buffet, which was closer to the women.

"You do realize that a portal is a bit much in response to an argument, don't you?" A quiet voice asked and Christy turned away from the potato salad to see Emma staring into her eyes. "Killing the faculty could be grounds for dismissal." Emma smirked at her and glanced over Christy's shoulder. Christy felt bad for her response, she just felt like she'd need to fight and it was all she had. What did it say about her that in that moment she was willing to use it? When Christy turned to see what she was looking at, she saw the redhead staring at them as if she could hear them.

"I thought she was going to bite you." Christy ignored the redhead and turned back to Emma.

"I do think she's had her shots, but perhaps if she's going to go rabid on occasion I should ask Henry to make sure she's had them all." Christy swore that after Emma spoke she could hear growling behind her. Christy's body tensed as she imagined the beastlike woman leaping at them.

"Do stop that Rahne, this one is dangerous when she's frightened, and you do look rather frightening don't you?" Emma called over Christy's shoulder. To Christy she added. "Don't worry so dear, I had it all under control." Christy barely kept her disbelief off her face as she studied the telepath and thought about the werewolf that threatened her. Emma really didn't look like a match for that.

"Okay." Christy could hear her own doubt in her voice, but Emma didn't call her on it.

"So how was your chat with the faculty? I do want you to know them, since you'll be asked to help outside of your department occasionally." Before she could answer Emma took Christy's arm. "Oh, look Jean-Paul. I want to introduce you. I think you both may find you have things in common." Christy was dragged into another cluster of faculty.

When Christy later was finally getting to leave a few people waved to her and she heard someone call out. "Good night, Bright Eyes." She just shook her head. Emma's teasing was lasting. She'd probably be called Bright Eyes all semester. It didn't help that she'd pulled energy during the gathering and her eyes hadn't stopped glowing yet. Her mother's pet name for her was going to be on every teacher's lips before the end of the week, she just knew it. Christy glanced at Emma talking with a few of the men from her team in the corner and laughing at some joke. With a sigh she turned and left for her room.

It was kind of nice that Emma felt she could tease Christy like that. It made Christy feel a little like she actually belonged. Bright Eyes… it could have been worse.

It also wasn't Demise. Christy found that a relief. She was her own person after all; her own codename was a good start. Sometimes the coldness of her double scared her, just sometimes. She wasn't like that. A name like Demise just didn't fit her. She hoped it never would. She wished she was strong like that woman, but she didn't like how cold Demise was at times, how easy it was for her to kill and walk away.

…………

"Did you hear? The FBI is here for Kevin Ford." Christy heard some students gossiping in the hall and her heart started to beat faster. FBI? On campus? She had to pull her papers closer to her body so her hands wouldn't shake. "He killed his dad. Probably was an accident, but the government is never gonna see it that way."

She walked down the long hall, her ears and eyes alert. She listened to more talk about Kevin, the poor boy. She had barely met him, just seeing him in the hall, but it sounded like he had a lousy mutation. She watched for any adult that she didn't know anyone that looked like a fed, because she didn't want to be spotted here.

What if they took pictures of the mutants around? She'd be on a government list as a mutant. Oh god, her life could be over. She'd seen people dragged out of their homes as a child. She'd seen sentinels on television capturing people who didn't commit any crime.

The other Christy was in her body when she killed that man. What kind of defense would that be if they found out? What if they already knew? What could she say, oh yes that was me officer, but you see my double from another world took over my body. She'd do time, there was no way she'd get off on a testimony like that. Telepathy wasn't acceptable as evidence was it? Emma couldn't prove it wasn't her.

Finally she got to the classroom and dropped off the photocopied test. She didn't have anything to hold after she did that and her hands shook.

"Are you okay?" Jean-Paul asked her and he looked concerned. "You're as pale as a ghost. Sit down." It was still before his class began and the students were still eating lunch.

"I'm fine." He grabbed her arm and she had to sit. He was strong.

"No you're not. What is it?" She'd gotten along with him okay at the last staff meeting, but she barely knew him.

"The FBI is here." She folded hands so she didn't have to watch them shake. "They're taking a kid for accidentally killing someone."

"I heard. We'll get it straightened out." He was talking a bit softer, like she was a scared student. Christy felt ashamed of being nervous.

Her voice was a whisper. "My double killed someone." She stared up at him, her eyes shiny. "If… if they ever found out, who would believe me? It's not right that they can lock you up for something you didn't mean to do."

Jean-Paul looked a little stunned and uncomfortable. Christy tried to calm herself down; she was scaring the poor man. "I'm sure they don't know about that. You don't need to worry." He squatted down in front of her. "And this thing with Kevin, I was in the cafeteria when Agent Pierce came in, and they're all in Emma's office now discussing this." He rested a comforting hand on her knee. "Do you have much more work to do today? Anything that can't wait?"

"No." Christy thought about her list of chores and her need to do right away pile was cleared.

"I'll tell Emma I sent you home. I know it isn't exactly far away, but take the day off." He smiled at her. "Maybe you could go shopping. I find that always helps me."

"That's because you're a big fairy." Christy gave him a weak smile. "I hate shopping."

"And that's because you're a big dyke." He leaned back a bit and then stood up. "Really, you could use more clothes. And I'm not talking jeans." He waved his hand, playing up being a gay man. "And really, those shoes are so last season."

Christy had to laugh, it came out still sounding a bit like a sob, but it was a laugh.

"That's it girl. Don't let the Man get you down." She stood up and took a deep breath. Day off. It sounded good. She could avoid the feds that way. It isn't like she knew Kevin. They'd have no reason to talk to her. She was safe.

She was in the hall when her plans for the day were ruined. She overheard that there were feds at all the entrances to the school. They were surrounded. There was no way she'd drive past them. Christy went to her room, which was small and had very little to do in it. She hadn't planned to move here after all. Even the clothes she had were things she had to buy since she lost everything in the New York attack but her wallet and the clothes on her back, and she wasn't willing to buy other things for a temporary home. She would have liked to find Emma and make sure it was okay she took time off, but Emma was busy.

It was dinner time before she risked leaving her room again.

…………

Christy sat alone at the table staring at her meal. She ate slowly and tried not to remember what the other Christy had done to scare the two other attackers away. That day was replaying a bit too often in her mind.

"Where have you been?" The sudden voice behind her and the hand on her shoulder sent Christy into a panic and her entire body went rigid. "Oh, you sure are tense." Bobby moved around to grab a chair and spin it around so he could lean on the back and stare at her. "I just wanted to tell you that Emma was looking for you."

"Oh." Her heart was still hammering, and the shaking hands that she had cured were back. "Thanks."

"What's got you so jumpy?"

"Nothing." She stood up with her plate. She'd eaten most of it, and with her stomach in knots thanks to Bobby she wasn't thinking she could eat any more. "Where is she?"

"Don't know. She was asking about you over an hour ago. Try her office."

Christy walked down the hall to Emma's office door and she started to hear voices. "Scott, this is a mistake and I won't be a part of it. We are here to protect these children."

"We have to teach them they aren't above the law."

"The law won't show any mercy for a mutant. If we turn him over it will be a mockery of a trial and he'll be convicted for losing his father." Emma's voice was hard, cold, and angry. Christy slowed her walking, not sure if she should continue, but she felt compelled to know how Emma felt about all of this. Christy came to a stop a few feet from the cracked opened door, out of sight.

"Agent Pierce says that he understands and he's the lead agent on the case."

"Oh yes and that will ensure everything goes smoothly? Don't be so gullible, the other officers outside our gates are far from sympathetic. I've overheard thoughts of storming the castle to take the boy. I had to calm those thoughts."

"Emma, we shouldn't go around mind controlling people like that." He actually sounded more upset with her than what Emma had prevented. Christy just shook her head, unable to comprehend that man. "We need to cooperate." His lecturing, condescending, self righteous tone grated on Christy's nerves. "And we need to show a united front. I can't have you disagreeing with me like that, and in front of a student."

"You wanted him to give up his legal rights to an attorney and just talk. No sane person does that. His words could have been twisted and used against him. This isn't a detention he's looking at Scott, its prison."

Christy took a few more steps toward the door. Their voices, while seeming to get angrier, were getting quieter as well. "Well, this has been a lovely discussion Scott, but I have other business to attend to."

"We aren't done."

"Yes we are. We just don't agree." Emma's voice was more controlled. "And I have a visitor." Christy's eyes widened and she pulled back from the door, embarrassed at being caught. "Christy, you can come in now, Scott was just leaving." She thought briefly of leaving so she wouldn't have to face them after having been caught eavesdropping, but it was too childish. She took a deep breath and pushed on the door.

"Bobby told me you'd been looking for me." She found her eyes staring at Emma's feet more than her eyes, and her blush had to be visible, but her voice didn't shake with her embarrassment. It was something.

Scott was staring at her and Christy risked watching his jaw muscles clenching. "I'll see you later Emma."

"Much later Scott." Emma stared at him and it held no warmth. "Christy and I have work to do."

Christy stood tensely as Scott left, the door being closed more roughly than was really necessary. She looked up then and watched Emma's rigid stance start to relax. "I heard you were aware of the problem." It almost sounded like a question, so Christy nodded. "Well, as you overheard, we don't all agree on how to deal with it."

"I noticed." Christy spoke softly.

"Would you like a drink?" Emma's voice sounded tired, and those proud shoulders slumped a little, as if Emma was now finally able to relax. Christy forced her own body to relax as well. "I know I would."

"Sure."

"I don't know how much you remember of the other Christy, but sometimes I miss her way of seeing relationships." Emma poured, so she couldn't see Christy's uncomfortable expression. "I loved her line… My priorities should be his priorities. That Emma has it so good."

"It isn't that they didn't argue. It's just that if her Emma went in a direction, even one she didn't like, Christy never let her go it alone." Christy spoke softly and gently took the glass, though she just held it in front of her.

"Did you have a window into her mind?" Emma gazed at her curiously.

"Sometimes."

"That's an accomplishment, given how both of you are so hard to read." Emma sat on the edge of her desk. "Which is why I had no idea that you were worried about being brought in for murder. What happened?"

Christy sighed and moved to sit on the chair. "There were three of them and she couldn't fight. I remember her being startled that her powers were gone. She stabbed one." A shiver went through her body at the memory. "And she licked his blood off my hand, it was so gross, but the other two ran. They must have thought she was crazy. She wanted them to."

"So there were two witnesses? Both friends of the deceased?" Emma was paying a lot of attention. "Can you tell me where this man was killed? There were a lot of deaths in the city at the time." Christy outlined the place and Emma seemed to be deep in thought. The blonde had barely touched her drink yet. "I'll look into it. If they can't remember what you look like then there is no one to point fingers," Emma's eyes hardened. "And regardless of what others may think, it's just better that way."

"You'll make them forget?" Christy felt like someone was taking a car off her chest. She hadn't even noticed how worried this made her until the Feds came.

"Sure, just don't tell Scott dear. I'm sure he'll want to protest and I'm tired of hearing him whine."

"Okay." Christy went quiet and Emma was busy taking a deep drink. "Kevin was lucky you were there." She thought about how Scott apparently wanted the boy to talk.

"Yes and ever so lucky I talked him into coming back here where he could be found." There was some bitterness in that voice.

"That's hardly your fault." Christy reached out and touched Emma's hand.

"No mutant is going to get a fair trial. He doesn't see that. Sometimes I wonder if his visor affects more than his color vision."

Okay, Christy knew it wasn't a good idea to join in when someone started criticizing their lover. It could easily end up turning on her. So even though she agreed, she didn't say much.

…………

It wasn't two days later and Christy stood on the steps of the school watching Agent Pierce take Kevin away. She wasn't an empath, but she swore she could almost feel the anger coming off the telepath beside her as they watched Kevin being placed in the back of a black car.

"This is a mistake." Emma spoke quietly to her. "A huge mistake."

Christy felt terribly exposed, being visible to the feds, but she stood by Emma's side. "I know." She stared at the boy staring back towards them as if asking for help and it hurt to not be able to give it to him. "Where's Demise when you need her?" She muttered, as she imagined her doubles response. It would be strong, decisive, and end in results. Instead Christy stood helpless as they took a student away from her.

When Scott came up to them and reached out a hand towards Emma's shoulder, Christy saw the poisonous glare the telepath gave him and the jerking away of the shoulder. "I have work to do." Emma spoke coldly and turned to walk inside, leaving Christy with Scott of all people.

She tried not to stare, and ended up obviously not staring. She felt herself doing it and had to take a deep breath to stop. She looked up into his face and spoke quietly, so no one else would hear it. "If you're wrong, she might not ever forgive you. You better pray you didn't just send him to prison or death."

"We can't be outside of the law."

"Law is only good if it's fair. Do you honestly believe its fair for us?" Christy sighed. She didn't really belong in this debate, so even though she had more to say she turned to leave. If Emma wasn't seeing Scott, maybe she'd see Christy. The woman was much more upset than she'd let on. Christy wanted to make sure she was okay.

The tension in Emma's office was so thick Christy almost felt like fleeing, but she sat quietly and took small sips of the drink Emma had waiting for her when she got there. Emma wasn't talking, but she wasn't sending Christy away either.

"It's like I was talking to myself. They weren't listening." Emma finally spoke. "I thought Dani at least had some sense, but I guess I was wrong." The words came after two drinks. Christy set her half filled first glass down and moved closer to Emma. She wanted to pull her into a hug and her arms reached out indecisively for a moment before she did it. Emma needed support, and if her lover wouldn't give it, Christy would.

Her double was so right. That was hardly a relationship. They'd been here for over a half hour and there was no Scott at the door. He should have come. Why they hell doesn't he see how fragile Emma is when it comes to the children? How the hell couldn't he see? Did having Demise in her body change Christy's perceptions so much that she'd recognize what people who'd known Emma much longer didn't?

If so, Christy wished she could thank her double again.

Even over an hour later he hadn't shown up. Christy was well into her own drinking, because it was hard to not drink when Emma was. She did drink much slower though, knowing she'd never be able to keep up with the telepath.

Their talk had turned away from sad and serious to philosophical at times.

"If they had a cure, would you take it?" Emma's voice was soft and Christy looked up from her drink. "I know that many of the students around here wish they could, Kevin included."

"If you'd asked me that before New York, I might have said yes." She'd be lying if she said she hadn't wished to be normal a few times. "But then I thought all I had was the ability to have glowing eyes and really great orgasms." She choked when she realized what she'd said and her skin blushed a bright red. "And I've had too much to drink." Emma was chuckling.

"I gather that." Emma smirked at her. "Really great you say?"

"Can we forget I said that?" Christy pulled her drink to her lips again, just for something to do, but then stopped before taking another sip. "And do we have any water or something. It's time for me to switch."

"You poor thing. Your alcohol tolerance is truly pathetic isn't it? We'll have to work on that."

"That's a great goal. Maybe we can push back the lessons on mental focus or combine them with drinking." Christy teased.

"I'll consider it." Emma smiled at her and Christy felt a peace settle over her that hadn't been there all night.

Emma sat back in her chair. "I wanted to thank you for staying with me. I know I haven't been the best of company."

Christy blushed at the thanks. "I wanted to." Emma just stared at her for a little too long. Christy stared back, openly admiring how beautiful the woman was.

Emma sighed heavily. "You better get some sleep. We still have classes tomorrow." Emma took Christy's glass away and replaced it with a glass of water and two pills. "And if you do get a hangover dear, don't let the little monsters know. They can smell weakness."

…………

Christy walked to the copy room with a file of various teachers last minute emergency items. She barely managed to not scold them for this, since clearly most of it could have been done earlier. If it were her, she would have had everything copied and ready to go for the entire semester by now. She liked to plan ahead.

Kevin's trial was tomorrow and the entire campus was tense.

Someone was already using the copier. Christy looked at him and then glanced out the door she'd just come in. She'd seen Emma heading down to the plane on her way there. "You'll be late for the plane." She knew Emma was planning to leave by five so they'd be able to have a last minute meeting with the lawyer before sleeping over at a hotel and getting to the courthouse the next morning.

"Oh, I'm not going." He turned away from his copies for a moment and spoke to her, his tone making it sound like he was missing a trip to the mall. Not going? "I decided that someone has to stay and run this place. We can't have both headmasters gone and there really isn't much I can do."

"For a day?! You couldn't find someone else to be in charge for a day." She moved towards the table next to the copier and set her files down. "God damn it Scott." She barely was looking at him as she growled out her words. "I can't believe you're making her go alone." She'd been up late last night with Emma and the woman had sounded worried. When Christy asked, Emma told her that Scott said he'd go with her. He'd promised and Emma had been counting on the support.

His arms crossed in front of her, and he seemed to stare down at her. "Dani is going with her."

"The teachers need these by the morning." She pointed to the pile she'd laid down and turned to leave.

"What are you doing?" He called after her, and part of her asked the same thing. She didn't want the government to know she was a mutant, so why was she rushing to court? Everyone would assume she was one even if her powers didn't show.

"I need to pack. I'm going to Georgia." It was his job, not just to support Emma but to support Kevin and he was going to stay here and grade papers or plan lessons he could have done weeks ago? He could do her job if she was going to be doing his. She ran out the door and had to dodge Jean-Paul as she did it, while ignoring Scott calling her back. She didn't have much time to pack. Emma might leave without her.

She raced to grab a change of clothes that looked semi professional and tossed them into a paper bag. She didn't have luggage. All of her make up and other bathroom supplies were tossed in a plastic bag and shoved in the other bag as well. In less than five minutes she was ready to go.

She ran into the hangar as she heard the engines starting up and waved her arms to get the pilots attention. She could barely see into the window, but she swore she saw white. The plane hatch opened and Dani looked out at her.

"I'm coming." Christy had to yell to be heard above the engines. It earned her a strange look, but the woman waved her in. Christy took the stairs quickly and moved out of Dani's way as the other woman worked to close the hatch again.

"So why are you suddenly coming?" Dani asked once they were seated for take off. Christy didn't see Emma, but she heard the woman's cool voice talking to someone over the radio.

"I see no problem with an added passenger Scott." Emma's words eased some of Christy's tension. Christy stopped listening in and focused on the woman across from her.

"I thought more couldn't hurt." She didn't want to say that she thought Emma could use the support. Her eyes traveled to the window and she felt a bit ill as she watched the plane rise above the basketball court. Kids were standing off to the side waiting for it to finish so they could resume their game. She used to hate the runways, but this didn't make it any less scary.

Things went quiet and Christy watched Dani pull out a binder and start working. In the rush Christy had managed to grab a book and a pad of paper, but she didn't feel like touching either of them. She just stared out the window at New York below them.

"Christy, why don't you come up here?" Emma's voice rose above the soft hum of the engines and Christy glanced up towards the cockpit. A place bound to have lots of delicate equipment. She wasn't sure she wanted to be near that. She wasn't normally clumsy, but it would just figure the one time she stumbles or something it would be in a place like that. A shared glance at Dani and Christy was up out of her seat slowly heading in that direction.

Emma's voice was softer when she got up there. "Have a seat." Christy just stared at the co-pilot chair for a moment before carefully sitting. She kept her hands and feet far away from anything important looking. "Want to tell me why you decided to join us?" It didn't sound like an accusation.

"I saw Scott." Christy turned to look out the window, hoping Emma would do that as well, instead of looking at her. "When I heard he wasn't coming, I decided to tag along."

"You mean you berated him for not going with me and took off before he could say another word." Christy looked back at Emma. It looked like she was close to smiling. "He wants to write you up for that."

"Fine." Christy didn't really care. It wasn't like she'd ever admit she worked at this school anyhow. It wouldn't be added to any resumes.

Her hands clenched the arms of the chair as they hit a bump of turbulence and Emma turned back to the window for a moment. Christy tried to calm her stomach.

"You're afraid of flying." Emma's surprised voice interrupted Christy's silent praying.

"Just a little." Christy gave Emma a weak smile and tried to play it off. "I'm fine."

"I've learned that when you say you're fine, you aren't." Emma spoke softly. "You never say it any other time."

Christy didn't know what to say to that. "I didn't know you knew how to fly." She tried to change the subject. She could feel Emma staring at her as Christy stared at the knobs and buttons.

"Did you want to learn?"

"No." Christy answered quickly. "No, no, that's okay."

"Ask Dani for some Dramamine. We don't want you getting sick on us."

…………

Christy blushed a little at the measuring look her paper bag got when Emma finished landing and came back to grab her own bags. "We have a dinner meeting with the lawyer." Emma's eyes traveled to the paper bag again and then to what Christy was wearing again. "You don't have luggage?"

"No. I left it behind when I had to run out of the hotel." She had never been as scared as when Magneto's attack interrupted her packing. She stared out the window at the bridge being destroyed and she'd felt death bombard her. The death made her eyes glow, which saved her from the mutants roving the streets, but the humans had been another thing altogether.

"Well, I think I have some room in my bag. We can't really have you walking into the hotel like that dear." Emma's words came with a smile, so it took what little sting it might have had out of it. Christy watched as her bag was taken and Emma opened up her bag. Christy's belongings were placed neatly over lacey underwear that Christy did her best not to stare at.

Her mind couldn't help but wish that she could see Emma in that to complete the picture it was forming.

A car was waiting for them and a woman with rather interesting shaped black hair stood waiting. "Hello." Ms. Whedon addressed them and Christy remembered flashes of seeing this woman. This was Vange, another person that knew her double and didn't know Christy. That was always awkward.

"Ms. Whedon." Emma moved forward. "I'd like to introduce you to Christy. We managed to get her back." And in that one small move Emma spared Christy having to do the explanation. Christy gave Emma a thankful look then reached out to shake the lawyer's hand.

"Nice to finally meet you." Vange said politely and then motioned them towards the car. "I made reservations for eight. We have time to check in at the hotel beforehand."

The trip to the hotel was brief and Christy grabbed Emma's bag, figuring since her stuff was in there too she had the right to. She followed the others into the hotel.

"I'm sorry, we're completely booked." The desk clerk told her and Christy just blinked. She hadn't even considered this.

"Are you sure?" She set the bag down on the floor and leaned a little closer, hoping the clerk could find something he'd missed.

"I'm sorry, but there is a convention. All of the rooms have been booked. I could offer to check with some of the other local hotels." He looked a little flustered by her helpless stare. It had helped her double get lumber after all. Looks like it didn't work as well for her.

"That won't be necessary." Emma moved to stand beside her. "Give Ms. Taylor another key for my room."

Christy spoke softly to Emma while the clerk went about getting a key. "I'm sorry, I didn't even think of this."

"It's no problem." Emma took the bag out of Christy's hands. "I do hope you don't steal all the covers though." Emma started talking to the clerk and thankfully missed Christy's wide eyes as she realized she'd be sharing a bed. She'd just assumed that Emma was offering the second bed in the hotel room.

Dinner was all business, and since Christy hadn't been part of any of this before, she spent more time watching the other people in the restaurant than contributing to the others conversation. She made sure not to drink much of the wine and did her best to pretend she didn't notice the small barbs sent back and forth between Emma and Dani.

"Christy?" Dani drew Christy's attention away from watching a woman across the restaurant stare at the waiter.

Christy drew her eyes away from people watching and back to the table. "What?"

Emma smiled at her, clearly amused at her lack of attention. "We were discussing the fact that Agent Pierce appears to be willing to call the death accidental. Dani thinks this shows some progress in human/mutant relations. Do you think that's progress?"

Christy just stared at them for a moment, not liking how she was put on the spot again. It must be a teacher thing to hunt down the person paying the least attention and make them talk. She didn't do that to her students, but Emma had done it to her a few times. "Progress." She shook her head. "It's not progress. One human? He might even be a mutant, we didn't ask did we?" She glanced around the table and caught Dani's eyes. "You're grasping at straws if you're looking for a silver lining here. A boy is being punished for being a mutant that can't control his powers. That's all it is, and there are thousands of mutants in that category."

"You don't sound like you have a lot of hope for peace." Dani leaned forward. "They may fear us now, but once they see we aren't above the law…"

"Oh please." Emma drawled out. "I've heard this lecture a few times and it's just as ridiculous as the first time I heard it. We gambled a boy's life on this." Christy just nodded her agreement.

A crash on the other side of the restaurant drew all of their attention. Christy watched with wide eyes as a man that had slumped over onto his plate started to slide sideways. The force of his death hit her and she reached out and grabbed Dani's arm before the woman finished getting up. "He's dead." She spoke quietly. Dani wouldn't be able to help him. Christy could feel the hum of power in her blood and she closed her eyes. It was a habit she'd learned as a teenager. "Emma?" She turned towards where the telepath should be.

"Yes."

"My eyes." She tried to look towards Emma's voice. "Can you look?"

"No one is looking at you. Our dead friend over there is the center of attention." Emma's voice was gentle. Christy opened her eyes slowly and could tell by the silent sigh Emma gave her that they'd started to glow. She closed them again.

"I think that man was a mutant. They hit me harder." Her hands moved up to rub at her face. "Damn it."

"How did you ever keep your mutation a secret?" Dani sounded like she was sitting again.

"I had more control before New York, and my double. I think it was just too much death in too short a time." Christy sighed, wishing she could see where her wine glass was. "I haven't been the same since." She reached for where she thought the glass was and her hand slammed into it. She wasn't good blind. "Shit."


	5. Ruins 2 Part 2

500 Miles – Ruins II

By Princess Alexandria

"Be careful." Vange's voice was oddly tense. "Don't cut yourself on the glass."

"I broke it?"

"I think we should call it a night." Emma spoke. Christy couldn't hear anyone paying, but then the noise at the other side of the restaurant was still loud as people tried to revive a dead man. That man wouldn't be getting up again; they never did after Christy felt their deaths. After a long minute Emma was by her side. "You don't have a killer stare. You can open your eyes and walk out of here."

Christy felt her heart racing and a tear crept past her eyelid. "The humans."

"I've got you covered. They won't see anything." Emma sounded so convinced, but Christy could almost see the last time humans had seen her eyes glow and how she couldn't run fast enough to get away. "Christy."

Christy took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Emma's sky blue eyes were the first thing she saw. The waiter coming up behind the woman was the second. She held her breath as the man glanced at her, but he didn't stare. He didn't see it did he? "See, they don't see anything." Emma gave Christy a slight confident smile. "Shall we go?"

"You're awfully tense for a little case of glowing eyes." Vange muttered as Christy picked up her jacket.

"They tried to kill me because of these eyes. Sorry if I'm a little nervous." She growled at the lawyer before turning to leave, but she stayed very close to Emma as she did it.

The drive back to the hotel was a bit quieter, and Christy knew it was either the dead man's or her fault. Probably both. When they got to the hotel Christy glanced in the mirror and saw her eyes were almost normal. "I wish I knew what was happening to me." She whispered, but Emma seemed to turn to her sharply.

"What?" Emma stared at her.

"Nothing." Christy sighed and moved to open the door. Vange and Dani were already getting out, but Emma reached out and grabbed Christy's hand.

"No, what did you say? Is there more that's changed than the way your eyes glow?"

"No, I'm fine." Christy gave Emma a small smile. She couldn't point to anything specific, and she may just be paranoid. She just felt different. It wasn't something she could really put into words.

After getting out of the car Emma turned to her. "Well, let's see about ordering a bottle of wine and staying in." Emma said it so casually, but Christy felt like the topic wasn't really dropped.

Christy took her shower, one she'd felt she needed earlier, but she didn't have the time once she decided to come with Emma. The large t-shirt that served as her pajamas were nothing like the sexy pajamas that she'd seen Emma take out of her bag, but Christy suspected Emma packed with the belief that Scott would be coming with her. "It's all yours."

Emma was wearing that silky, sexy, white nightgown. Christy almost stumbled over her own feet when she saw the woman leaning against the wall with a bottle of wine in her hand and two wine glasses in the other. "I'll shower in the morning." The way Emma slinked closer was easily the sexiest thing Christy had ever seen. "Wine?"

"Sure." Was what came out of her mouth, even as her mind screamed that she shouldn't drink tonight. She sat on the bed and took a sip of her wine just minutes later.

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to stay at the hotel, or see the city while I went to the trial." Emma moved to lay on the bed, one arm holding her body up and the other her drink. "It's sweet enough that you chose to come."

"No, no, I'm going." Christy wanted to be there. She knew Emma wouldn't show it, but she'd take it hard if she had to watch the court take Kevin away.

"Thank you." Emma's words were soft and Christy just gave the woman a smile before turning back to her glass. "I notice that you're alcohol tolerance is improving."

"It's all that hard work. Practice, practice, practice." Christy smirked and set her glass down on the night table. Her smile faded a little as she studied Emma.

"Oh I know that look." Emma's voice was a little deeper and less amused. "And no, I'm not an alcoholic."

"I didn't say anything." Christy had thought it once or twice though. Emma wasn't happy and she drank. Did the telepath even see that in herself? Did Emma notice that whenever Scott was insensitive or something bad happened she was drinking? And that meant lately she was drinking an awful lot.

"You don't have to." The gentle touch on her shield made Christy feel like hiding her concerns, knowing Emma was double checking, but she did the opposite. She lowered the shields and let the woman in. She let Emma see her concern and replayed images of an angry, or sad, or irritated Emma pouring a glass. Christy had seen that vision more than enough times.

"The other Christy said your double's mother died of an overdose." Christy spoke softly while reaching out to rest a hand on Emma's arm. "I just worry."

"Well, you don't have to." Emma set the glass down after finishing the last of it. Christy didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything. Part of her really blamed Scott for the drinking.

The silence was tense, so Christy got up and grabbed the glass to put it back on the table. She really wished that it hadn't been brought up. She hadn't brought it up, so it wasn't fair she got tricked into doing it.

"What did you mean when you said you wished you knew what was happening with you?" Emma asked and it sounded very much like Christy wasn't getting out of it. She turned to look at the blonde.

"I just feel different, and it's like I NEED to do the shield thing every night. I never used to do that unless…" She blushed as she remembered guilty nights alone in her bed letting that power bring her pleasure. It was sick, but it felt so good.

"Unless?" Emma's lips turned up into a smirk. "Oh do tell me."

"Ah…" Christy noticed Emma lean forward just a little, eager for this conversation. "Well…" Christy only talked about this once, with her ex, and that hadn't gone over well. "Sometimes I lower the shield so I can feel it. It's better than anything I can do myself." And better than anything her one lover had been able to do for her too. But she'd gone without during their years together out of respect for Michelle's disgust with that part of her.

"So," Emma's smirk grew. "Instead of masturbating like the rest of us, you just lay back and let it wash over you?" Christy was startled by the word. It wasn't like she hadn't seen or heard it before, but a woman like Emma saying it to her kind of threw her off. Hell, she'd heard Emma… A blush once again made her look immature, as Christy thought about what her double had heard, and therefore she had. Her double had almost gone back for more though. That was one thing Christy was grateful she didn't do.

"Sometimes."

"When did you start doing that? Did you stop one night trying to do it the old fashioned way and decide to try something new?"

Christy sighed. Her sexual history was a bit embarrassing. She wasn't exactly like other girls. Even so, she didn't think about not talking with Emma. It was nice to have someone she could talk with about these things. "My powers started to kick in when I was fourteen. Nothing much, just a strange sensation once in a while. Like a breeze against my skin really. I didn't pay too much attention; I was too busy worrying about other things." Like the fact that she'd developed some serious crushes on her friends. It wasn't fair that around the same time gay teenagers are figuring themselves out, most mutations occur.

Christy scooted back on the bed and rested her back on the wall. This was obviously going to be a long talk. "We lived in an apartment for a few years and when I was fifteen I woke up with my first orgasm. It was a little scary waking up to that," She gave Emma a slight smile. "But I got over that pretty fast. I didn't know anything could feel like that, and I couldn't figure out how it happened." Her eyes fell to her hands as she played with her fingers. "Turns out the apartment manager died that night. He was a pretty old man."

She looked up. "I still didn't figure it out." Emma wasn't looking disgusted or pitying. She was just waiting for Christy to talk again. "It wasn't the best neighborhood. Maybe a year later I felt it again. It had been so long, I held onto it as much as I could and suddenly that night my shield came down for the first time." Christy shuddered a little at the memory. It had been a huge effort to not scream as the power flooded her that night. Her fingernails had left bloody half moons in her palms. "Death after death hit me. I didn't understand what was happening. My range with the shield down is pretty big. Until then people needed to die within less than a block of me for me to get it hard. I figured out later that the breeze I sometimes feel is death just outside my range."

"And today with that man at the restaurant?"

"My shield is stronger. If I don't have it down I don't get the same rush, but I still feel something, get something. Now, unless I lower my shield or a mutant dies really close to me, my eyes won't glow."

"Do you feel that pleasure every time you lower your shield?"

"A little. It depends on how low I take it." Christy moved her legs under the covers, before she did something that flashed Emma. Then she could bend her knees and rest her arms on them. "When Rahne was attacking you I only lowered it enough to pull in some power, not enough to really enjoy it. It wouldn't make sense to be out of control when I needed to fight."

"You didn't need to fight, but thank you for considering it."

"Yeah, well." Christy gave Emma a shy smile. "You're the only person in that place I really know. I didn't want her to kill you."

Emma looked a little concerned. "Is that still true?"

"Well, I don't hang around with other people." Christy felt a bit embarrassed, but she'd never been good at making friends. "I mean, they're nice enough, but I don't spend time in their offices talking like we do. You're my only real friend there." My only real friend period, Christy thought, feeling a little sorry for herself. Friendly talk while working didn't count the same. She didn't feel like she was part of everything like the others were. The other teachers treated Christy like she was a cross between a student and an equal, and that kept her apart. Sure, she was a student, but she was Emma's student and Emma didn't treat her like that. Then there were the people that knew her double and Christy suspected liked that woman better. Hell, there were a lot of times Christy liked that woman better too.

The gentle hand that rested on her covered knee drew Christy's attention to a blonde that had moved a little closer to her. "I don't have a lot of friends there either. I'm glad you're one of them."

"Thanks." Christy's shy smile returned.

"But dear, we really need to get you out of the mansion more often. When was the last time you left to just shop or maybe eat out?"

Christy felt a little guilty. She knew they both knew the answer to that one. It was a few days after Christy had control of herself again and Emma insisted she needed to get out, shop a little, and see the world again. Christy suspected the time out was more for Emma's benefit than hers, but she'd been glad to get dragged out with her.

"Okay, that does it. When we get back we will have to go out. I know of a lovely restaurant in town and we could see if we can do something about your wardrobe while we're out."

"I don't have enough…"

"Don't be silly. I'm buying so I can see you in something more attractive than jeans and tshirts. It's for me really. To spare my sense of fashion from the abuse." Emma teased her.

"Oh, well I wouldn't want to be abusing your fashion sense. Okay." Christy felt a little awkward about letting Emma pay, but the last trip to town taught her she couldn't talk the woman out of it. It was kind of nice to be able to shop though. Hopefully Emma never felt like Christy was taking advantage of her.

"My powers developed more slowly too." Emma moved a little, and Christy thought she was seeing Emma settle back into her seat instead of pouring the drink she'd been considering. She couldn't be sure, but it seemed like Emma had wanted to get up and pour another drink. "I'd hear voices in school. It wasn't too bad, but eventually it got stronger and I had a hard time blocking them out." Emma's eyes seemed to sparkle with mischief. "Of course I didn't get to experience the late night fun you did, but I learned to enjoy my powers anyhow." Emma told her about her family a little more, making the other Christy's comment about her Emma's mother's funeral make more sense. Christy felt angry but without a target she could reach. Emma's family was horrible, her father especially.

"We need to get up early." Christy finally said it after the pause in the conversation lasted a little too long.

"Are you saying it is bedtime?"

"Yes, and I'll tuck you in if I have to." Christy smiled. "Do you need a blanky little girl?"

"No, that isn't necessary, but don't be surprised if you become a teddy bear tonight." It was supposed to be a tease, a joke, but Christy wouldn't have minded it Emma meant it.

"Yes, the cute and cuddly gatherer of death. I'm sure the toy stores will have a hard time keeping me in stock."

"If you were actually on the shelf they might, but you aren't letting yourself be on the shelf now are you dear?"

"What side of the bed do you want?" Christy ignored what would have been a long talk about her not dating. She wasn't ready. The memory of her double's love, the visions she got in dreams about that couple, made her think that settling for less wasn't worth it, but getting that wasn't possible.

It must have been an hour later when Christy laid down as Emma turned out the light. It was past their bedtime, given when they had to wake up, but Christy wasn't feeling tired. Her eyes seemed to refuse to close and she found herself staring at the shadows on the ceiling. Her body seemed to hum, and laying still was a conscious effort.

After trying to calm down for what seemed like forever, but time was hard to judge when every second grated on her nerves, Christy sighed heavily. She'd hoped she could go just one night. Just one. It looked like she couldn't.

Were her powers addictive? She felt like a junkie needing another fix. Christy ran her hand through her hair, grabbing at strands, pulling some of it in her frustration. She flipped onto her side and stared at the window that was on her side of the room. The city lights kept it from getting completely dark in the room.

After finding she couldn't stop moving, a shifted foot here, a clenched fist under her pillow, she gave up. She couldn't do it. She couldn't pretend it wasn't bothering her. Her shields needed to come down. Christy gritted her teeth and rolled over to stare at her companion, a telepath. She couldn't do this here.

Emma was on her side, facing away from her and Christy didn't see any movement. Maybe she'd already fallen asleep. It felt like hours had passed, but Christy glanced past Emma to the clock and saw it had only been twenty minutes. God, time sure was dragging.

She carefully rolled out of bed, trying not to wake Emma. She needed to get out of here. The dresser drawer squeaked a little too loud as she tried to slowly open it and Christy winced at the noise.

"You know, it's been a while for me, but I thought I remembered that people trying to sneak out of my bed in the middle of the night normally had sex with me first." Christy's froze as Emma's voice filled the room. The click of the lamp was followed by the soft light filling the room. Christy turned with her pants in hand to face a slightly mussed blonde. "Care to tell me why you're running away?"

Christy didn't speak for a moment. Somehow in her need to leave she hadn't planned this talk out. "I just need to take a walk."

"You'd do it on the city streets rather than here?" The way Emma said that didn't make it sound like a walk. "That's what it is, isn't it? You need it. You said you need it every night." Christy's eyes were helpless as she stared at Emma. She didn't like how out of control she felt. She'd never tried to go without, not since she got her body back.

"I'll be back in a half hour." Christy took her shaky hands and tried to slip a foot into a pant leg. Normally she'd be shyer about how much Emma could see, but she needed to get out of there.

The sound of sheets moving and Emma's feet hitting the ground told Christy she wasn't getting away that easily. "Please." Her voice was too pleading. "Just a half hour." Why was she asking? She was an adult. She could leave the room if she wanted to.

"I had no idea. You tried to tell me didn't you?" Emma spoke gently and Christy felt the soft touch of Emma's hand under her chin, pulling Christy's eyes up to Emma's. "You're shaking." Christy let go of her pants and they fell down her leg again as Emma touched her. Her shaking intensified. "You can't go out like this."

"But…" Christy's eyes widened. No, she couldn't feel like this all night.

"Just do it here."

Christy moved her head, breaking free of the gentle hold and stared down. She felt ashamed at this loss of control. "I thought I could go a night. Just one damn night, without." Her body actually ached a little. "What the hell is wrong with me?" Tears started to trail down her cheeks and she didn't fight it when Emma pulled her into a hug.

"When we get back to the mansion I'll have Henry look at you. You really should have told me sooner."

"I didn't know it was this bad." Christy turned away from Emma, pulling out of the hug. "I'll just go take care of this."

"No you won't." Emma's voice was demanding. "What do you do at the mansion? Where do you do it? I'd have heard if you spent all your time near the water like your double."

"I have to lower my shield." Christy's jaw clenched as she stared at Emma. "I can't do that with a telepath around!"

"I've always been around. I live there too."

"But not this…" Christy reached down to grab her pants again. This was ridiculous. Just get out of here, she decided, get out and deal with this later.

"It's not safe for you to do this in some alley." Emma batted Christy's hand away from her jeans.

Christy knew Emma was right; her hands shook as she gave Emma a helpless stare. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Get back in the bed and do it there." Emma's words gentled. "I need to monitor you. Maybe I can help figure out why it's become like a drug you're addicted to instead of just part of your powers. You're acting like a junkie that was just told couldn't have their fix. Argumentative, angry…"

Christy wanted to protest, feeling too exposed already. Instead she stepped out of her pants and back towards the bed without looking at Emma. "Whatever." She did feel out of control. "Just one night." She muttered as she laid down, angry with herself for this lack of control.

Emma slid back into bed beside her and Christy tried not to think about the beautiful woman in bed with her as she tried to do this. "Maybe your body needs this power right now." Emma moved close and stared down at Christy. "What I wish we knew is why it needs it."

Christy felt ashamed. "I'm sorry about how I talked to you."

Emma gave her a small smile. "No need to apologize, I've heard worse. You were down right polite for a junkie." Christy grimaced at being called that, even if she wondered if it were true. She was always so careful not to get involved with drugs and now her own powers did this to her.

The warm caress to her shield made her take a deep breath before lowering it just a little. Not enough. "That's it dear. Let me take control will you?"

"Oh God." Christy whispered as she felt her shield lower just a bit more. Emma had it, controlled it. It felt more intimate.

"Oh yes." Emma's soft words just barely were loud enough to hear. "This is a nice little power you have. Lets take it for a real test run."

Her shield lowered further and Christy gasped as her body convulsed. "EMMA!" She managed to yell out, wanting Emma to slow down. It was too much, too fast. Her breath came in gasps as she felt the warmth of Emma's mind in hers. So close. So sexy. "God Emma."

Christy's body pulsed with it. Her hand reached out and pulled the blonde closer, rolled over and captured soft lips and moaned into the contact. Hands grabbed at her head, pulling her closer, lips consumed her. The silk of Emma's nightgown felt good as Christy's hand caressed curves.

"I'm sorry." Christy wrenched herself away from the blonde once she realized what she was doing. "I'm sorry." She struggled to lower the shield, but it was still being held open by Emma.

"Don't be." Emma's voice was deep, needy, and the blonde pushed Christy back onto her back. "Oh God, this is so good, Christy. No wonder you want this every night." Emma arched into her, making Christy gasp, moan. The telepath's breath tickled Christy's ear as Emma whispered. "Oh God." A slender hand caressed Christy's breasts.

"Scott." Christy managed to get the word out even as her body sought that caress.

"Isn't who I want to be thinking about right now."

"I can't…" Christy pulled hard on her shield, trying to take control back. The shield was raised some, but not enough. The hum, the ache still filled her blood. Both of them were panting from the experience. Emma's body pressed down on her and Christy ached to wrap her arms around the woman. Christy was rambling, speaking too fast. "God I want… not like that."

"Shh…" Emma whispered. "Shh…"

"God, you're so…" Christy's voice cracked. "I do want… but."

"It's okay." Emma caressed her cheek gently then moved to get off of her. "We just got a little out of control. It's okay now."

Christy took a shaky breath and tried to calm down. Her power was good, but it wasn't that good. She'd felt Emma inside of her and it was so deep, so warm. It was so good. When Emma leaned down Christy just let herself become part of a tender kiss that seemed to go on forever. She knew she shouldn't.

"Christy." Emma's lips trailed over her neck. Christy moaned as she tilted her head. She needed to stop this.

"God Emma." Her voice was too high as Emma found the spot behind her ear that made her squirm. "I… please. I can't play the other woman." Christy felt Emma freeze and Christy closed her eyes, hating that she was saying no. Hating it. "I want you so much, but… I can't do that. It would hurt too much." The power holding her shield open retreated and Christy finished closing it. It helped her try to regain some control.

Emma's eyes were closed off when Christy saw them. Emma pulled her body off of Christy's. "I'm sorry dear. I didn't mean for things to get so out of hand." The smile seemed false. "You're power packs a bit of a punch." Christy's jaw clenched. It was about her power, not her. She looked away feeling her eyes start to water. It wasn't about her power for her. She liked the feel of Emma. Oh hell, what did it matter? "Christy." The woman's voice was softer and she was still in Christy's personal space. Christy tried to squirm further away. "I'm sorry. That wasn't quite fair." Emma leaned closer and Christy was surprised to feel a soft kiss on her ear. Another on her cheek had her turning towards Emma. She moaned softly as Emma's mouth captured her own. She shouldn't want this, but god she did.

"You are so good to me." Emma whispered as she pulled away. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I really only meant to map your powers." And Christy's heart felt like it had been crushed. All that was missing was let's just be friends.

"I know." She managed to get it out. "It's okay." She lied.

"Did you get enough to be able to sleep?"

"Sure." It wasn't her power that would be keeping her up now. Emma was attracted to her, but not enough to leave Scott, the ass that let her come here alone. When Christy rolled onto her side it was to keep the lone tear from being noticed.

…………

The next morning Christy struggled to not act awkward as they woke up. She was surprised that she'd even managed to fall asleep at all. Emma had not changed overnight, but Christy couldn't help but feel the woman looked more human, more accessible, even though she couldn't point to anything clearly different as she glanced at Emma blow drying her hair.

It made it harder. With a heavy sigh she pulled on her shoes. Her eyes focused on the task instead of on the blonde. It was one thing when she thought Emma was completely out of her reach. It was a fantasy she'd enjoyed a time or two but didn't let get out of hand. Now it was an ache in her soul.

She could have had what her double had. Maybe. Maybe it wouldn't be as good, but still it was so much more than she had now. Love. Christy undid her shoe lace, which she'd managed to make a tangled mess and started again. But this Emma had Scott, a man that was in no way good enough for her.

"Can you hand me my makeup bag?" Emma's voice interrupted Christy's staring contest with her now tied shoe.

"Sure." Christy got up and moved to the table that had Emma's bag. It was a guess which one was a makeup bag, but Christy grabbed it and headed for the bathroom just as Emma was shutting off the hairdryer. "Here."

Emma sighed and didn't take the bag Christy was handing out to her. "Are we down to one syllable words now?" Christy could see Emma felt a bit hurt by this, so Christy forced a smile.

"I'm not much of a talker at this hour." It wasn't even seven yet. "And I didn't get much sleep…" Her words trailed off as she wished she had the power to kick herself.

"Yes, about that." Emma took the bag and set it on the sink before turning to give Christy too much of her full attention. "I'm sorry if I made you feel at all taken advantage of. That wasn't my intention."

Invisibility would have been a nice power too, Christy thought as she wished they could just pretend that it hadn't happened. "Christy, look at me." Emma's voice was soft and pleading. Not something Christy had heard from the woman before. She had to look up into those sky blue eyes. "We are both adults here. We kissed." Christy thought that was a bit tame of a description for what they'd done. "Okay, maybe we did a little more than kiss, but still it's hardly a disaster."

"I doubt Scott would feel that way." Christy's words were quiet, but they were strong. She was glad she didn't sound weak or childish.

"That's not the issue here." Emma took a step closer to her. "What I'm concerned about right now is that yesterday you were my friend, the only one that would get on a plane for me even though she was terrified of flying," Emma gave her a small smile, showing Christy that she hadn't managed to hide that. The smile faded and those ice blue eyes stared into hers. "and today you can't even talk to me."

"Just give me a little time." Christy swallowed trying to loosen up her tight throat. "It'll be okay. I just… haven't…" been touched like that before, her mind supplied what she wasn't going to admit to. Emma's touch had been so perfect by itself, but coupled with Christy's powers it had been too much. Christy's ex never liked the idea of Christy using her powers when they were together. It made her feel inadequate, and rather than deal with the bitchiness, Christy only did it the once. "I haven't been with anyone in a long time."

What would it have been like if they actually had sex? It would have been nice to find out, but Christy wasn't going to be Emma's dirty little secret while Emma continued to be with Scott. It was hard, but Christy respected herself too much for that. She was pretty sure that Emma wouldn't have stopped them last night and equally sure that it would have been over in the morning.

"You shouldn't deny yourself like that." Emma reached out and gently caressed the hair in Christy's face, pushing it to the side.

"It's hard to meet people." Christy sighed, hating that the person she'd want to meet was right in front of her. "And I don't want to tell just anyone that I'm a mutant. I was so scared my last girlfriend would tell someone after we split up. She didn't really like it."

"It? It's a part of you." Emma's anger at Christy's ex made Christy feel warmer more cared for. Like they had some connection, even if it wasn't what Christy wished it was.

"Well, it's a part of me she didn't like." Christy moved to lean against the wall. "She didn't say it, but you can just tell sometimes if someone doesn't like something like that."

"Yes you can." Emma sighed as she glanced at the clock. "I need to get to the courthouse by eight, but if you want to stay here…"

"I'm going with you." Christy gave Emma a small smile. She still felt awkwardness and pain, but she wasn't going to stop now. She came to support Emma and she'd do it, even if the woman proved to be less perfect than she'd thought.

"Okay." Emma reached out and gently touched Christy's arm. "I know this may seem a little inappropriate given the circumstances, but thank you for sharing your gift with me."

The pink tinge showed her embarrassment, she was sure of it. Her gift? God, Emma wasn't even disgusted by where that power came from. What do you say to something like that? You're Welcome? Thank You? None of those seemed right. Christy gave Emma a shy smile, "I can go get us a scone or something. There was a bakery next door." Christy didn't take a lot to get ready. She barely wore makeup and she'd put that on in the main room while Emma showered.

"If you could add a latte from Starbucks to that order I think it would be perfect."

"Give me ten minutes." Christy turned to leave and Emma's hand stopped her. It rested gently on her shoulder. The gentle kiss to her cheek was a new habit, one that Christy found she liked even if her heart ached at the show of affection. Emma smelled so nice. "Thank you dear."

…………

They walked up to the stairs to the courthouse and Christy got in line behind Emma as Dani went through the metal detector. When it beeped differently than it had for the man before Dani, Christy watched the guard stand up straighter.

"Mutation?" He spoke as a clipboard was pulled out and Christy felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs. They could tell that?

"Excuse me?" Dani sounded a bit insulted at the question and glared at the man. His hand shook just a little.

"We need to make sure you aren't trying to influence the ruling. We require all mutants to check in like this."

Christy could actually feel her skin grow cold. She stared without blinking as Dani told him that she showed people their nightmares. She also offered a demonstration, but he quickly told her she didn't need to do that.

"You could check out the library." Emma turned to look at her. "This is bound to be very boring." The blonde was making sure not to say what Christy was thinking. That she'd have to tell someone what her mutation was if she went. Emma then took her step through the detector. Neither Christy nor Dani let themselves react when Emma claimed that her diamond form was her only mutation. They might not let a telepath in.

"Next." He looked at her. He wasn't putting his clipboard down either. Christy stared at the doorway. "Look are you going to come or not. There is a line up."

"You could meet us for lunch. I could come get you." Emma offered, but Christy felt like a coward.

"I'm coming." She took a step forward while holding her breath, before she could change her mind. Nothing. She turned to look at the guard, who just nodded and put the clipboard away. No beep.

With her jaw slightly opened she turned to Emma, who took her arm. "Let's go before we're late."

They didn't talk until they were several feet away. "How did you…" Dani started and Christy looked over towards her.

"What floor did we need?" Emma stopped that line of talk and Christy saw Emma share a look with Dani before the other woman just nodded and stayed quiet.

The elevator was empty aside from them. "I'm glad you decided to join us." Emma spoke softly and Christy felt the brush against her shield. She lowered it.

We'll find out why you didn't register on the detector later. Don't worry about it now. Emma sent her telepathically.

"It's horrible that they make people go through that." Christy spoke out loud, not used to telepathy and it just needed to be said. Her heart still hadn't returned to a normal beat. She'd been so scared. She clenched her fists to hide her shaking hands, embarrassed at how things like this bothered her. Emma and Dani had been insulted, but not terrified. Not like Christy.

"Well, this is what the world is like for mutants. They will always hate us, fear us. No amount of dreaming will change that." Emma's words seemed to irritate Dani even more, but the woman didn't say anything. She just stepped out as soon as the elevator doors opened. "Hopefully Kevin won't suffer for other's dreams." Emma glared at Dani's back and spoke more softly, just directing those words to Christy.

When they got out of the elevator Dani was already marching up to Ms. Whedon. Christy still couldn't believe a woman that looked like that could be a lawyer. It wasn't that she was an obvious mutant, she wasn't… it was just that her hair was so wild, more suitable for the dance floor than the courtroom.

After all the tension about Kevin getting arrested, after all the worry and the trip to another state, the trial itself, once it did get started, was done in a matter of minutes. Christy just stared at the boy who was slowly starting to smile as it sunk in to him too. They were calling the death an accident. Kevin wasn't going to prison.

"Don't look at me, I didn't do it." Emma's whisper caused Christy to glance over at Emma, and past Emma to Dani who was giving Emma a questioning look. They all were stunned.

After a brief courtroom celebration Emma, Christy, Kevin, and Ms. Whedon started to walk away. Dani was still talking to the detective. Christy just glanced at her and hoped she'd catch up before they took the elevator down.

The wait for the elevator was a little awkward and Christy started to think she came all this way for nothing. Emma didn't need her. Surprisingly it was actually good news.

"Kevin, I know you might have seen her around." Emma's voice was a little louder. "But this is Christy. Christy, Kevin." They were introduced. Christy held out a hand to shake and he slowly did. The poor boy was covered from head to toe. His gloves felt thin, but it had to get hot in the summer. "We couldn't have kept Christy off the plane to come here if we tried." Emma smirked at her.

"Well, um… thanks." He didn't seem to know what to say. Christy could empathize with that. She avoided the same problem by just nodding.

Dani was looking a little thoughtful when she joined them, and Christy noticed how Kevin moved closer to her and Emma in the elevator. He seemed to be trying his best to avoid Dani. That was hard to do in such a small space.

Sometimes when Christy watched people embarrass themselves on T.V. she'd just have to change the channel. She felt too bad for them. That didn't work when it was in real life. Dani tried three times to talk with Kevin and the boy was clearly not interested. He wouldn't look at her; he wouldn't say more than three words to any question. He didn't want anything to do with her.

They were on the front steps before anyone did anything. Emma suggested that she and Dani could go get the car and meet them at the street. It seemed like Emma wanted to talk to Dani about her continual attempts to talk to Kevin. Christy hoped so. Vange had her own car, but she stayed and chatted with them, well, mostly Kevin, but he had just been through an ordeal.

"I don't care what the fucking courts say." A loud male voice, angry, carried to them easily. "Muties should all be locked up. I don't care if they killed their old man or not." Christy turned to see three men standing behind them. Big, strong, angry humans.

She felt like she needed to run, like she ran in New York, but Ms. Whedon wasn't moving. Kevin stood staring at them as well. She couldn't exactly run away without either of them.

Run or fight… run or fight… she struggled to make up her mind. When one of the large men moved toward them she slammed her shields off and sucked up everything she could. They already assumed she was a mutant.

"Looky at that one." The man furthest from her spoke. "Gonna attack us with headlight eyes."

"If no one finds the body can they prove anything?" Christy glared at the men while asking Ms. Whedon.

"There's usually some DNA evidence left at the scene." She spoke calmly and Christy felt a little bit more powerful as she noticed the humans hesitate. Christy did her best to remember her double. She stood taller and gave the men a small smile. Please god, let me get out of this alive, she prayed as she struggled to look unafraid.

"Not the way I'd do it." Could they hear the way her voice shook? Christy could and it didn't sound very confident. Not at all like her double.

"Is there a problem here gentlemen?" Emma's voice had Christy sagging a little in relief. She had no idea what Vange's mutation was, and Kevin couldn't kill someone else just minutes after getting out of jail.

Emma must have done something, because the bulky men got a blank look on their faces then moved towards the fountain. Christy stared as they started to take off their clothes.

"Get in the car." Emma's voice rose louder. Christy must not have heard it the first time. "It won't be long before the police arrest those three for public nudity and I thought I'd spare your eyes the sight."

Christy slid into the backseat with Kevin. Ms. Whedon closed the door for her and then left for her own car.

"You did that?" Kevin asked Emma as he stared out at the men frolicking in the fountain. They looked a little gay the way they were doing it. Emma just smiled.

…………

They landed a little after three. Christy had to close her eyes as Emma lowered the large plane into the small space that was below the basketball court. She could imagine a dozen ways that this could go wrong. Her arms and neck were tensed as her hands gripped the chair. It took her a little while to relax them after she felt the plane stop moving.

"Well, here we are." Emma flipped a few switches. "Please stay seated until the flight attendant turns off the seatbelts sign." Emma joked as she glanced over at Christy. The hum of the engine stopped and Dani got up to grab her bag. Kevin was still pretending to be asleep so he didn't have to talk to Dani.

"Kevin, we're here." Emma stepped out of the cockpit and Christy got to her feet to help Emma with her bag. "You can stop pretending to sleep now. I'm sure Dani knows you don't feel like talking." He sat up and Christy actually felt bad for Dani and a little embarrassed again to be witnessing this. Dani slipped out of the plane quickly, but not before Christy noticed the hurt expression on her face.

As Christy walked down the ramp she saw Scott practically marching over to them. He smiled at Kevin. "Glad to have you back." Christy saw the boy's fist clench just a little, before his voice answered politely. It looked like Scott wasn't forgiven, but not as unforgiven as Dani. "Well, your room is just like you left it." And he just dismissed him. After turning him over, telling him to talk before a lawyer was around, and not going to see if Kevin miraculously got to live his life free, he just acted like Kevin had been in detention, not jail.

When Scott moved closer to Emma and kissed her gently Christy started to walk for the doors, seeing that made her sick. "Oh Christy. Report to my office after you've unpacked." He commanded.

"I don't think that's necessary Scott." Emma turned to stare at him. Christy wanted to leave, but it seemed like she was supposed to stay.

Scott looked at her. "Christy, we can't have our TA's abandoning their job like that." It seemed like he decided to just do it here. Christy's eyes narrowed.

"Why not?" Her voice was cold, biting, more like her double than herself, but she didn't even think about that. She was beyond fear of what people would think of her. "You abandon your job all the time, or was that you ordering windows and arranging for permits this summer. Oh, maybe it was you making sure the lumber came in, or you comforting the kids after Kevin was taken away." The last thing was really the only one she herself had done. Her voice raised a little and she could see both Emma and Scott were surprised at her, but she was pissed; pissed at him for being an ass and at Emma for choosing him over her. "Lets not forget how loving and supportive you are to everyone, or how you make sure that the kids aren't dragged out of here by feds or killed in fires."

"That is enough!" His face was red.

"Write me up twice. I don't give a shit." She glared at him and turned to leave. She'd had enough. She marched past the doors while she heard Emma and Scott starting to argue. God, she'd never liked him before, neither had her double, but right now she hated him.

Emma was still with him. He treated Emma like shit while he pined over his dead wife and Emma was still with him.

…………

Christy. Emma's telepathic voice startled her. Christy's shield wasn't down long. When you're done come to my office, please. It was like Emma had been waiting for Christy to do her pre-bedtime power collecting.

She sighed as she raised her shield. She'd been in her room since she yelled at Scott, debating about leaving the school. She really had thought she'd be okay, but seeing him kiss Emma was hard. It was like a light came on during their trip and Christy realized she was so close to being in love, she didn't just like Emma, and she didn't want to feel like this. Like her happiness was stolen, the happiness other Christy's had.

She hated Scott Summers. He took Emma for granted and probably didn't love her.

Emma deserved love. Why was she settling?

Christy changed back out of her pajamas so she could make the trek across campus to Emma's office. Her face was stony as she prepared herself for what had to be a write up for talking to the lazy ass headmaster that way. Scott was making Emma do it for him, how wonderful.

Emma called for her to come in when she got to the door and Christy lost her resolve to stay in control and cold when she saw her. Emma had a glass hanging loosely from her hand as she sat at her desk. Her shoulders were slumped. "What's wrong?" Christy moved to Emma's side and squatted down beside her.

"Oh, nobody died." Emma waved a hand in the air. "Well, not lately at least." Emma set her glass down. "Go ahead and have a seat."

Christy sat across from Emma's desk, instead of in the comfortable chair she'd normally sit in while they were here. Emma was seated at her desk, so it didn't make sense to move further away.

"Scott wanted me to fire you." Emma sighed. So it was business. Christy took a deep breath and prepared herself for this. While she didn't really need the work she'd liked it and having Emma fire her made it worse. She sat more rigidly as Emma stayed silent. Emma's voice was softer when she did talk. "I told him no. You were my employee and you were valuable. I also explained how you were here for training and it wasn't like you should sit in on high school classes during the day. We might as well make use of your time." Emma gave Christy weak smile. "So you aren't fired. I don't think it should have been a consideration to begin with."

"Thanks." Christy couldn't quite manage to get excited about the save.

"That doesn't sound like you're happy about that." Of course Emma caught that.

"I was thinking maybe it's time for me to leave." Christy had to take a deep breath to try and calm herself. It hurt. "I don't really belong here, and it isn't like we've made much progress with my powers. I've never even made a portal. I'm too scared of what happened to her."

"We don't even know why you're having trouble going without yet? And what about your ability to fool scans into thinking your human?" Emma was speaking a little too fast. "You can't leave. We are just getting some sort of understanding of your powers. The work I did last night, I did find some things that may need more research."

Christy just went quiet and stared at the top of Emma's desk. She didn't want to say this, but maybe she needed to. "I can't stand him. He takes you for granted and has no idea how lucky he is. I can't stay here and watch that."

"Oh." Emma gave her a humorless laugh. "Well that makes sense. You're throwing away your potential because you're jealous of HIM." Emma shook her head. "Well, you don't need to worry all too much. He's made an ultimatum. He doesn't like you here. He claims you're disrespectful and thinks that you might want me. He trusts me so much he wanted you out of here. I didn't even tell him about our little kiss. I told him no, you were staying."

"What?"

"He said that if I didn't send you packing he'd do it. I stopped him." Emma poured herself another drink, the best sign Christy had that things between Emma and Scott didn't go well. "Did I tell you Kevin joined my Hellions?" The change of topic was too jarring. Christy felt like her head would spin.

"He said that this thing with the arrest showed him who was looking out for him and who wasn't. The Hellions and I were there for him, caring about him, while Dani and her New Mutants were more concerned with the big dream." Emma shrugged, "Well that wasn't his words exactly, but it was the point."

"I may have told Scott after that meeting that it made me think. That ever since Jean died; the only person that seemed to be watching out for me was you. You or your double. He hadn't been there for me. That you were right and he'd been neglecting a lot. I told him I was tired of being taken advantage of and that I was clearly not his first choice, since he never has said he loved me and he spends all his time pining away after Jean." Emma sighed. "I told him that I was tired of it, tired of being his last priority unless he wanted sex."

Christy's eyes widened and her heart ached in sympathy for the pain she saw in Emma's eyes. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Emma took a deep drink. "So your job is safe. Don't leave now. I just destroyed my relationship for you."

"It wasn't making you happy." Christy didn't feel comfortable being blamed for this. "And I'm sure when he calms down he'll listen." She hated having to be the one to say it was all okay when she wanted to say dump the jerk. "Maybe he'll change."

"He didn't go to Georgia because he would have had to work over the weekend to plan his lectures then. He decided that I could represent the school myself." Emma set her glass down. "He has no problem flying and everyone already knows he's a mutant. He just wanted the weekend off." Christy scooted forward in her seat. "I can't imagine him facing his fears for my comfort. For my life, yes, but for my comfort… no. It's pretty clear he wouldn't."

"I'm sorry." Christy didn't know what else to say.

"Why?" Emma took a deep breath and stared at her. "You're the one that's been there for me. You've been the one I go to when I need to talk. You're the one that came with me just in case I needed someone." Emma shook her head. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"Okay."

"So, you're staying right?"

Christy could see some hope in the distance. Part of her wanted to run, because this could hurt. "Yeah, I'm staying."

…………


	6. Ruins 2 Part 3

500 Miles – Ruins II

By Princess Alexandria

"Well, I've got the results." Henry spoke while staring at her chart. Christy hadn't been thrilled with the exam and how it took Henry three days to decide to tell her about what he'd found. His befuddled look didn't inspire confidence either.

"And?" Emma prompted him to talk. Emma had been busy lately, but she'd made sure that she'd be here for Christy.

"It looks like your internal organs are starting to… for lack of a better word… disappear." He shifted the file to face her and moved it closer. Christy leaned over to stare at what made little sense to her. "It looks like they've turned to water. I can't explain it."

"I'm turning to water?" For a moment she felt a bit of panic, worried that she'd just fall into a big puddle one day. A memory of the other Christy stopped that. "Like Demise? But she lost her body in an explosion."

"Well, from these results I'd say you both are prone to this particular secondary mutation." He pushed his glasses further up his nose. "An explosion? She didn't mention that to me."

"There's a lot she didn't mention." Christy replied off hand as she considered what this meant. "It's going to continue isn't it?"

"The scans I did yesterday showed that it was still progressing."

"Okay." She stared at the papers without really seeing them. She was mutating again. She took a deep breath.

"Are you alright?" Emma moved to sit in the chair beside her.

"I'm fine."

"I'll just leave you two alone." Henry spoke gently. Christy just nodded, but she didn't look up.

"Christy." Emma's hand rested on Christy's knee.

"Well, she seemed to think it was better without a body." She tried desperately to look on the bright side. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"Depending on how fast this progresses we might not need to buy you too many clothes." Emma gave her a small smile, encouraging her. "Perhaps we should shop today just to make sure you get the most out of them."

"Yeah." Christy's smile faltered and she took a shuddering breath. She could pretend to be brave. She had to.

"It's going to be okay." Emma gently caressed Christy's knee. Christy stared into Emma's concerned eyes and felt herself leaning closer to the blonde. Emma moved forward in her seat and wrapped arms around Christy. "It will be. It may not feel like it now, but secondary mutations can be a good thing."

"Do you feel up for dinner?" Emma's offer was sweet. Christy just nodded. Getting out of here might be nice.

They were almost to the front doors when Scott's voice interrupted them. Christy's body tensed a little. She'd been able to avoid him until now. "Emma." He completely ignored her, except for barely a nod of recognition. "I was hoping we could talk."

"Well, I have plans now Scott." Emma's voice was slightly chilly. "But you could always check my calendar and make an appointment."

He moved next to Emma and turned his back to Christy while lowering his voice. "I wanted to talk about us. I've thought about what you've said. Maybe we can try this again."

Christy turned away from them and took a few steps away. Emma would probably take him back. She didn't want to hear that. She couldn't hear what was being said, but Emma seemed rigid and Scott's face slowly was getting redder. Okay, so she didn't have the will power to look away too. Scott stormed of and Emma came to her side. "So, do you feel like Chinese or Mexican?"

"Uh. Chinese." Christy worked hard to match Emma's long stride to get out of there.

Dinner started off a little tense, but over dinner Emma's back seemed to lose it rigidness and they were talking normally by the time they were ready to leave. Scott was a subject neither of them brought up though.

They strolled down the street looking in shop windows. "Christy." Emma sounded more serious than their previous conversation, so Christy slowed her steps. "You know how important the school is to me."

"Of course." What was wrong? Christy thought with concern.

"I fully plan to help those students. It's my priority." Emma stepped off the busy sidewalk and Christy moved with her. "Regardless of what the world throws at us, it's the children that are the future." Christy was a little surprised when she felt Emma take her hand. "Are you planning to go back to Washington at the end of the semester, or could I convince you to stay?" Beautiful tapered fingers were playing with Christy's hand. It seemed almost surreal. "I have it on good authority that perhaps we might be good together." Emma took a step closer and Christy could smell Emma's subtle perfume. "I've thought about this often, and I wouldn't mind giving us a try. What do you think?"

"What about Scott?" When he'd asked to talk with Emma Christy was sure Emma would take him back.

"He was what I thought love was, until I saw how someone that really cares about me acts." Emma's fingers caressed Christy's hair and Christy leaned into it a little. "I didn't grow up with a lot of love. I didn't know how to recognize it. I know you love me. I felt it in your mind when we were in Georgia. I have the school and it's my priority. What I need to know is can you make it yours?"

Christy felt a flash of fear and heat. Change, big change. It always did that to her, but she had it on good authority too. They could make this work. "Yes." Yes to both questions, she'd stay and love Emma. Hardly a loud romantic declaration, but she did get the storybook kiss.

Scott was standing there, looking so much like an angry father as they drove up. "So do you have time to talk to me now?" He didn't sound like someone begging for forgiveness. Christy tensed up. If Emma didn't want to talk to him then she shouldn't have to.

Emma leaned closer to her and whispered. "I need to go tell him it's over. Did you want to wait for me in my room or…"

"Call me." Christy liked the gentle look in those ice blue eyes as Emma talked to her. She also liked how they hardened when they looked at Scott. It made her feel a little more secure.

Christy did her best to stop pacing in her bedroom as she waited, and waited. She started feeling sick as time passed. The knock on her door was soft, but it thundered in her ears. She'd worried that Emma was staying over with Scott, that he'd managed to pull the blonde back in. Christy opened the door to see Emma standing there. Christy let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. "Hello dear." Emma gave Christy a smile. "I was wondering if I could talk you into a walk in the moonlight?"

……………..

Working around Scott was tense and made her stomach sick. Christy sighed as she noticed him come into the copy room when she was in the middle of a job for Jean-Paul. Three days wasn't a very long time and Emma had already told her she announced that Christy was staying on at the last faculty meeting. Emma also made her a substitute teacher for this year and they'd see what happened for the next school year. Christy might get a class of her own.

Scott wasn't thrilled with it. He didn't have to say anything; the cold stare said it all. The entire time Emma outlined Christy's new place in the school he stared at Christy.

"You could have printed that back to back. You're just wasting paper." He spoke while staring at the copier.

"I know." She forced herself to turn and face the man whose lover she stole. "And I recommended that to Jean-Paul, but he wanted the students to have room to take notes on the back." She held his gaze a little longer, waiting for his next complaint. She knew there would be one. He'd caught her a few times in the past few days and complained about her work performance.

Funny how everyone else seemed to think she was doing a good job.

"You realize how it will look having the Headmistress dating a teacher's assistant." He finally brought it up.

Christy took a deep breath. "Probably no worse than it looked when she dated an adulterer, before his wife's corpse was cold." His fists clenched and Christy took a half step back. She went too far. These were quiet thoughts that shouldn't have been shared. "That was low. I'm sorry." She had no gripe with the dead woman. She shouldn't have brought her into it.

"Hey guys…" Bobby's friendly hello trailed off into something more cautious as Christy stood still, hoping Scott wouldn't try to hit her. "Umm… Scott." Bobby's attempt at sounding normal lacked a certain something. "I hear that Dani was looking for you."

"Okay." He glared at her a little longer before turning to leave. Christy released a breath she'd been holding and sagged against the copier when he was out of the room.

"What was that about?" Bobby whispered.

"He's upset that Emma left him for me." It wasn't public knowledge yet and Bobby's eyes popping helped her feel a little better. She smiled at him.

"Well, that explains his walking around with the stick shoved up higher than normal."

"Yeah." Christy glanced at the door again.

Later that morning she heard that Scott was going to be away on business for the rest of the day and she couldn't have been happier. Maybe when he came back he wouldn't look like he wanted to kill her. Christy had already started self defense classes, just based on his angry stare, but she wasn't nearly ready to have to use it. She'd told Emma she was learning self defense because she should know it, she didn't volunteer how worried she was about living with the jilted boyfriend.

……………..

"Christy, can I see you in my office?" Emma's cool business tone drew a few eyes, but Christy gave another TA the papers to deliver and moved to follow. Once the door closed to the large office Emma pushed Christy up against it. "Ever done it in the headmaster's office? This will be even better."

Christy's body arched as Emma started to kiss her neck. "Emma." Christy was supposed to be working, but god. "Yes." She moaned as a pale hand slid up to cup Christy's sex.

"Yes you've made love in the headmaster's office, which means you were a naughtier girl than I thought you were, or that this will be better, which would also mean you were a naughty girl." Emma chuckled.

"Yes take me." Christy managed to growl out as they moved towards the couch. It was a struggle to not scream as Emma did just that. They had to stay quiet. You weren't supposed to have sex in the Headmistress' office.

………………..

Later that night Christy struggled to sleep in her own bed, but it wasn't working. She felt the need to use her power even though she'd done it earlier. With a heavy sigh she gave up and angrily flipped the sheets off of her.

The air was cool as she made her way out of the building. Christy started down the walkway towards her destination, the lake.

"God damn bitch." A slurred angry male voice interrupted her as she was part way into the woods and Christy turned to the side to see Scott glaring at her. He was unsteady, clearly drunk. Christy took a step back. "acting like she wants all this attention, but I have other things to worry about. Jean always understood. Emma's not better than Jean, she shouldn't act like it."

Christy felt a spark of anger at him, but she just turned and started back to the buildings. She couldn't relax enough to pull power by the water if he was out here. She didn't really trust it was safe.

"I was talking to you bitch!" He yelled after her and Christy heard a strange sound, and a laser beam hit the ground in front of her.

Emma! She called out mentally, hoping Emma would hear her, as she spun around to face Scott's angry and reddened face.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you. You aren't going anywhere."

"Scott…"

"Shut UP!" He screamed and Christy flinched at the violence in his voice. "You're just using her. You're weak and pathetic and you need someone to protect you. Well, find someone else. I broke Jean's heart for that bitch."

Christy's eyes grew cold. She'd often thought of herself as weak and pathetic, but no more. No more. She marched toward him. "You are a pathetic excuse for a man. You broke Jean's heart… sentence ends there. You didn't do it FOR anyone. You did it because you are an asshole and didn't give a damn about the woman you claimed to love. Then you treated Emma like shit, and obviously blamed her for it. YOU were the married man. You shouldn't have strayed. Asshole."

"You don't know anything…"

"No clearly you don't know anything. Get away from me. I love her and unlike you, I know how to treat a woman." She shook her head and moved to turn and leave. His arm shot out and painfully clasped her arm. His other hit her in the face.

"Loving looks and trips to Georgia only go so far. Emma's a passionate woman and she'll want something you can't give her."

"Oh, but I can…" Her voice held a silky edge of danger as she turned to stare him in his red glasses. "And I do. She is a passionate woman, but she's more than that. You forgot that, I won't." She tugged on her arm when he squeezed harder, hurting her. "Let me go."

"I don't think so. You know? Did you fuck her in Georgia?" He shook her hard and Christy felt her forgotten fear blossom again.

"Scott." A cold commanding voice from behind Christy drew his eyes and Christy tugged on her arm again, finally he let go. "Go sleep it off, and then pack up your bags and leave."

"What?"

"She's not a fighter Scott. You are attacking a teacher. Not a trained fighter." Emma's nightgown fluttered in the wind, but it didn't make her look any less dangerous. Christy took a few more steps in Emma's direction, while listening for Scott to try and laser her in the back. "My god Scott." Emma reached out and gently moved some hair out of Christy's eyes. She caressed the sore spot on her face. "You hit her." Cold, vicious eyes turned to Scott and Christy watched him collapse suddenly.

"Are you okay dear?" Emma spoke softly, but Christy's eyes were on the crumpled form of Scott on the lawn. "Oh, I knocked him out. I'd leave him here, but the children really shouldn't have to step over him as they play Frisbee. I'll get one of the men to pick him up."

Christy took a shaky breath and tried to relax. "I'm fine."

"Come back to my room." Emma put an arm around Christy's shoulder. "I am so sorry he did that to you dear. He won't do that again."

With the fear fading she felt the familiar need. "I still need…" She turned towards the path she took to the lake.

"It's too cold out. Why don't you use my bathtub, it is large enough to be a lake of its own and it's cleaner." Emma continued to gently encourage her towards the buildings. "You must need the water, since you seem so drawn to it, but I think we'll have more fun taking a bath together don't you?"

"Bath?" Christy was still a little out of it.

"Well, yes." Emma's voice was soft and seductive. "You didn't plan to use your power all by yourself when you could share, did you?"

"No, I guess not." Christy leaned into Emma's body as they walked and enjoyed the warmth of her body and the mental caress that came with it.

……………….

In the morning she checked her face and the black eye she'd had the night before was gone. Christy studied the mirror carefully, looking for any hint of bruising, but there wasn't any.

For a moment it was back and she flinched away from the mirror, but then it was gone again. Christy's leaned closer to the mirror with her eyes widening in shock. Her hand moved up to touch her reflection and it reminded her of her double's hand.

Christy focused on the memory of what her double tried to do when she was attacked and watched in amazement as her hand shifted to long sharp looking fingers. She'd finished mutating.

"Christy, dear." Emma's voice called into the bathroom. "Are you ready for breakfast? I'd like to eat with you before we have to deal with today's unpleasantness."

"I'll be right out." Christy felt herself smile just a little and she shifted her fingers back to normal. If she'd had a weapon like that last night Scott wouldn't have been able to hit her.

………………

When Christy met Emma for lunch she'd already heard the news. Scott had left, he'd packed his bags and left. Some students had seen him and as they always did they'd been gossiping.

"Scott and I decided it would be best if he took a break from the team and the school." Emma said before taking a sip of her tea. "But from your happy expression I gather you heard already."

"Yes." Christy sat down across from Emma. "I did."

"I shuffled the teachers around, but I need someone to teach a few more classes. Are you interested in a raise?"

"I think so." Christy glanced around the cafeteria, before moving her hand to touch Emma's. It was a subtle move, but she just needed to feel Emma's warmth.

"And you'll be getting a very good benefits package." Emma's grin was wicked. "Come to my office to discuss it after lunch?"


	7. Complications 1 Part 1

500 Miles – Complications

By Princess Alexandria

Christy kept her mind focused on the goal, Emma, as she tumbled through the portal again. The turbulent ride was becoming less terrifying as she slid through realities for the third time in her life.

Oh God, please let this work. She whispered as she felt her way through a power she was barely starting to understand. Finally the opening appeared and Christy braced herself for impact. This was never smooth. Her body was tossed with force out of the portal and Christy struggled to see where she was landing.

The woman in the way turned halfway at the sound and Christy swore as she tried to twist in the air to miss her. Nothing she did helped. She slammed into her and then into a wall. Christy slid down the wall and groaned.

Not again. Christy looked around for the woman she'd hit. Nothing. Her hands moved and Christy's eyes stayed on them. She tried to shift them, but nothing happened. It was when she was staring at her hands in disappointment that she noticed it. She pulled her left hand closer to her eyes and stared at the thin gold band. "Oh shit." She whispered as she got back to her feet. She was inside another Christy, and this one was married.

"Christy, you can come back now." A familiar voice called and Christy turned to the opening of the alley. She was stunned as she stared at the familiar face.

"Michelle?" Christy's jaw dropped in shock to see her ex looking at her with a smile, and looking so damned young. The woman held up a bag teasingly.

"I got you something and you can't look until we get back to the hotel."

"Ah." Christy stammered as she wondered how she'd gotten this so very wrong. "Okay." A hotel? That meant they weren't in Washington. Christy took a step towards the woman, her heart feeling a bit sick.

"Are you okay?" Michelle sounded concerned. When was the last time she'd heard that? Probably when Michelle left with her last boxes and acted like she was worried about how Christy was taking the break up. Of course she wasn't okay. Her lover had cheated on her.

"I'm fine." Christy heard her own voice, and it sounded barely civil. Not convincing. She'd have to work on that. There was no way she'd trust Michelle enough to tell her what had just happened. Did they even have mutants in this world? Where the hell was she?

Once she stepped out of the alley she walked with Michelle, pretending to pay attention to the shops as she took in the types of things being sold and the newspapers. New York. She'd never gone to New York with Michelle. Christy glanced around and couldn't help but think it sure looked better when it wasn't rubble, like the last one.

"I think I want a copy of the Daily Bugle." Christy smiled as she moved to the newsstand. She was pretending it was a souvenir, but really she needed a closer look at the date. She also needed to find out about mutants without asking.

"Daily Bugle?" Michelle looked a bit confused. "But I already bought the New York Times." Of course you did, Christy thought less than charitably. You always picked up such useless crap as souvenirs. Newspapers were hardly going to be interesting years later. They'd end up taking up space in the bag and getting dumped a year later.

Christy had to take a deep breath and let go of her irritation. Still as she bought the paper that she actually needed and pretended it was nothing more than a memento, she had to agree that Michelle's tendency to not think too hard about anything could work for her now. She glanced over at her ex picking up and looking at magazines. It was hard to remember she loved her once. The glance at the date wasn't comforting. Christy did the math quickly and realized that she was twenty-one.

Somewhere out there Emma Frost, an eighteen year old Emma Frost, was learning what it meant to be a telepath.

Michelle grabbed her hand and pulled her into a shop. Christy just followed quietly. Twenty-one. God, she was with this woman until she was twenty five. This was right in the middle of their relationship.

Oh God, please don't let her want sex. Christy prayed. They were on vacation after all, Michelle would want to… no. Christy took a deep breath and faked a smile as Michelle looked at the useless crap in the souvenir shop. "I need to get my mother something." She explained as she grabbed a little statue of liberty.

"Sure." Christy let go of her hand. "I'll just get a water and sit outside." This hopefully would take a while. Michelle pouted at being left alone, but there was no way Christy would be able to fake enthusiasm for this type of shopping. Her mind was on too much else, like her disappointment that it hadn't worked. How long was she going to be stuck in this world now?

How could she pretend to be a twenty one year old Christy when she didn't even know where she worked? She was in school too. What school was she in? When did she transfer to the four-year college?

Could she even find her old apartment? She hadn't been there in years. What car did she own now?

The window was a little grimy, but Christy could see her reflection in it. She stared at it and pretended to be studying her hair, but the young face, the innocence she saw was disorienting.

This was not going to work. In the last world she didn't have to pretend, and if she could trust her ex lover at all she wouldn't have to now, but she couldn't. Michelle may not even mean to hurt her, but she wasn't smart enough to keep her mouth shut. She wasn't really that smart at all. What the hell had Christy been thinking falling in love with that woman to begin with when what she always had fantasies about was a smart, in control woman with ambition and strength? She always wanted a woman like Emma and she got Michelle.

Michelle's betrayal had destroyed any respect Christy ever had for her and now Christy had to pretend to still be in love. For what? So that this other Christy could invest another four years before having her heart ripped out? So Christy's career could be delayed because Michelle took so much time Christy couldn't always go to school full time?

Christy shook her head and tried to stop her angry thoughts. She turned to stare out at the other shops and tried to pull her shield down. It felt sluggish, but it did work. She took in a little power.

Was it too much to hope for a large scale disaster so she could load up fast and get out of here?

Christy flipped quickly through the paper, taking note of the fact Spiderman existed here. She knew this paper would tell her that much. This was a world with heroes, but she didn't see much about mutants.

She looked up towards the newspaper stand again and started to smile just a little as she noticed the cover of another paper. Mutants Among Us, was in large letters and those particular mutants looked familiar. Christy pushed off from the wall she'd been leaning against and moved to buy that paper as well. Imagine that, the Bugle was out scooped.

"Mutants?" Michelle asked as she looked at the cover of the paper Christy was trying to read quickly. Christy looked up cautiously, trying to gauge Michelle's reaction to the picture. It was hard to tell.

"Yeah, pretty weird eh?" Christy smiled. "Imagine being able to teleport or have super strength. That would be…" she paused, fully aware that her comment wasn't popular in worlds like this. "so cool." She also wondered if she was overdoing the youthful enthusiasm act.

"Yeah, well, maybe," Michelle started to shift like she wanted to walk. Without knowing where they were staying Christy had to let her take the lead while trying to look like she wasn't doing that. "but it's just a joke. There is no way people like Superman are real."

"Oh, it could happen." Christy muttered. When Michelle gave her a questioning look she raised her voice. "I said what did you buy?"

"I'm not telling you until we get back to the hotel room." Michelle gave her a flirtatious smile and Christy was unfortunately reminded of the secret present. The look she was getting, one that was supposed to be seductive, but fell a mile short in her estimations, worried her.

"So which way to the hotel?" Michelle asked and Christy just stared. What hotel? Maybe if she had a name she'd have a chance. She had spent some time in the New York area after all. She couldn't ask that question though, because for all she knew they'd been on vacation for a while and she should remember it.

"I don't know." Christy gave her ex a fake smile. "I got distracted." A feeling in her stomach gave her a way to stall returning to the room, which was undoubtedly going to be a disaster, because Christy barely wanted to be around this woman, so sharing a bed was out of the question. She talked Michelle into stopping for something to eat, first, before they started back.

Could she run away? Christy glanced around at the street, taking in the older fashions. And what of her double? That poor Christy would be better off if she didn't waste her youth on this woman. Michelle had always slowed her down and when she'd left she'd hurt Christy so badly she didn't recover. Not until Emma. Having a cheating lover had destroyed her faith in love for years.

…………

Michelle figured out the way back to the hotel and Christy recognized the Hotel Pennsylvania immediately. Was that the same alley she'd showed up in before? As she let Michelle push the button for whatever floor she tried to remember the way she'd walked a few months ago when she appeared in the first world. No, it was a different direction. Well good, she didn't like the idea of being tied to a place, because she needed to get back to her beach house and it wasn't in Manhattan.

As soon as Michelle opened the hotel room door and gave her a concerned look Christy stepped in. "I need a shower." She muttered as she moved toward the bathroom. As stalling techniques went it wasn't that good, but she had something she had to do.

"Do you want me to join you?" Michelle smiled at her and Christy's jaw clenched.

"No, did you need to use the bathroom before?" She didn't want anyone sneaking in to be with her.

It took fifteen minutes to finally get the bathroom to herself. Christy took off her clothes and took a look in the mirror. The water was running so she leaned closer to the young reflection and studied it. "I know you must be scared." She spoke quietly to herself of this world. "This has to be scary. I didn't mean to do this and I'll fix it so you can have your body back. I'm a mutant. I'm you from another world, and it may sound crazy but you have to admit this is hardly normal." She sighed as she slipped into the shower. If she'd known the last Christy was aware of her she'd have tried to explain what she could to try and make it easier. "I was supposed to go through a dimensional portal and get home, but I got the wrong world." She stopped talking and grabbed the shampoo. Her eyes stung as she thought about it. She was supposed to be home. "You're a mutant like me. We actually have a lot of power, but it's going to take me time to build it up. I don't know if you've used it before, but I'm going to be trying to charge up. I also need to find someone who can help us." She stopped moving and just let the water run over her body. "She's my lover's double. My Michelle cheated on me years ago." She'd debated about it and if she could spare this younger self pain she would. "She left me. It hurt like hell but it was the best thing she ever did for me. You are stronger than you realize. Don't let her destroy you."

She felt a little crazy talking to herself like this, but she wanted to do this right. She rinsed out her hair. "I need to ditch Michelle and find Emma. Emma's the only telepath that can get past our shields and help us separate."

She took a deep breath. "I'm going to start recharging now." She warned as she slowly lowered her shield. It felt rusty, unused. She wondered if that was because this version of her wasn't using it. Poor girl might not have even known about her power. She held it open with a savage will, hoping that she could absorb faster than normal. She wanted out of there.

After the shower she took a long time blow drying her hair, something she wouldn't normally do if she wasn't stalling. She kept looking at her eyes to make sure they didn't start to glow. Even as she was recharging they didn't. "Different worlds, different reactions." She muttered as she moved to stare more closely at the eyes. Maybe it was a maturity thing. These powers weren't as developed.

Once the hair was as dry as it was going to get she muttered one last thing. It would be a while before she talked to her double again. "I know you think you love her, and I'm sorry if she gets upset, but I swear to god she is not touching me. She makes my skin crawl."

She dressed again and opened the door. A few steps into the other room and she saw Michelle draped over a bed wearing a red lacy teddy. It looked funny on her and rather new. That's probably the wonderful new gift. Great. "Looks nice." She smiled as she moved to the dresser. "I was thinking we should go see Times Square." If they'd already seen it, it wouldn't seem unusual to want to see it again.

"I was thinking we could stay in tonight." Michelle pouted. She pouted a lot when she didn't get what she wanted. "We just got here. We have all week."

"But if we don't make the most of New York it could be years before we get to come back. I don't want to waste that time in the hotel room." Christy managed to not smile as she called having sex with Michelle a waste of time. Michelle probably wouldn't catch it but it made Christy feel better.

Michelle dressed and seemed to stomp a bit as she moved into the bathroom to get ready again. That was supposed to make Christy feel guilty. Too damn bad Michelle had the wrong Christy, that wouldn't work on her. Christy moved quickly through the room looking for plane tickets, when they got here and when they were expected to leave. She found Michelle's phone book and quickly copied phone numbers she might need down. No one remembered over ten year old phone numbers. She also checked her license for her address and her purse for anything else of interest. She'd have to rely on what Mystique taught her a bit more heavily here; since her memory wasn't up to the details she'd need to pull this off. She even managed to find out what her job was. She was still working as a file clerk.

She didn't know how they afforded this trip though. In her past they couldn't have afforded it. Perhaps this Michelle knew how to save for something. It would be a novelty if one version of Ms. Instant Gratification actually had that ability. That was something that always irritated her about her ex, even when they were together. Michelle never planned for anything. Well that's not true, she'd plan great things, but actually following through didn't work.

The fast pace she'd set for them turned out to be too much for her physical body, even though it was young. She slowed down and started looking around more as they walked. The tense angry silence was perfect. It gave her time to think. Emma had shared some stories of her past. They'd sit around the fireplace and share their stories, and this year Emma should be in college. Where did she go? This was the ultimate test of her knowing her lover, trying to remember something said a year ago when it was just an offhand comment. She did say it though. Emma majored in Business at… at… damn it, Emma had told her once. Where was it?

Hey, it was during the school year. Why wasn't her double in classes? Christy should be working on her… was it her Bachelor's now? Yeah, she should be working on her Bachelor's degree. The teacher in her ached to scold her double for not being there and she wanted to ask why she wasn't. She had to chuckle at herself for that impulse.

"I was thinking Psychology is really the best major for me." She said, feeling the need to check.

"I know." Michelle seemed to be calming down. "You've told me that a hundred times. Don't worry, just because you took a semester off doesn't mean you won't go back."

Semester off. Okay, that wasn't too bad. Maybe Christy should try to leave a few notes for her double. Just a few suggestions. She did have years on the girl.

Christy slipped into a store and picked out a journal with the Empire state building on it.

They walked until Christy's feet hurt and then walked some more.

"Hey, there's a good bar just a block this way." She smiled at Michelle as she started to a place Emma had showed her once.

"How'd you know?"

"Read about it on the Internet." Christy muttered.

"Internet?" Michelle gave her a blank look and Christy rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. The time difference, she forgot that things were more different here. The Internet wasn't all that useful in the early 90's. She didn't even remember using it back then. Great. Without a save she ignored the question and moved to a familiar building. It looked different, even though it had the same name. Even this touch of home wasn't here. Christy grimaced but went inside.

They got back late and Christy went to bed in the same bed as her ex for the first time in years. Her body hugged the edge of the bed, clearly to Michelle's disappointment, but then Christy never really liked cuddling with Michelle. It should have been a hint that she wasn't as in love as she wanted to believe. Christy never got enough of closeness with Emma.

And it had been months. She clenched her jaw as a small whimper came to her. She cried silently, finally able to relax as she heard Michelle's even breathing. She would give anything to have been at home in her own bed with Emma. Anything.

…………

Waking up was a nightmare. Christy went from a dream of walking on a beach with Emma to the reality of Michelle rudely watching the news early in the morning. It was in the same room she was trying to sleep after all. Fine. Early day, she could do that. Christy moved to grab some clothes without saying anything. Her glare might have been chalked up to grumpy mornings.

"Maybe we could spend time in Central Park." Michelle barely looked away from the news to say that.

"Sure, let's go." Christy had stayed up most of the night and she knew what she needed to do. Michelle wasn't going to like it.

In a weird sense of justice she was going to do what Michelle did to her. She'd sneak out of their place and leave a letter explaining it. If it was good enough for a break up it was good enough for this. There was no way she could get away any other way since Michelle seemed to ALWAYS be there.

They walked to Central Park, even though they were across from Penn Station and could have taken a subway to get closer. Christy didn't want Michelle to know about the subway just yet. Besides, her double hadn't been in New York before. It worked both ways.

The trek to Central Park took a long time.

"I love how this huge park is right in the middle of the city." Michelle smiled and Christy sat down next to her, handing Michelle a large drink. They watched the pond in near silence. It gave Christy time to try and remember where Emma did her freshman year of college. Christy remembered thinking it was in New York.

"What's wrong with you?" Michelle finally asked.

"Nothing."

"You're so quiet."

"So, I want a little time to think without constant chattering." Her voice became a little harsh as she glared at Michelle. She'd almost had it, the school name and Michelle's babbling ruined it. As a couple they'd never argued, but Christy didn't have the blinders of love on now. "I just want to sit and stare at this. Why do we always have to be talking? It ruins the vacation."

Michelle's eyes widened and she turned to stare at the pond again. The silence was angry and tense and it made it hard for Christy to try and remember, so she focused on her plan. If her double was stupid enough to want to repair this later she could, but there was no way Christy was going to lead Michelle to Emma and hope Michelle wouldn't out Emma as a mutant when it was all over. She wouldn't be there to protect her lover's double then. Hurt feelings weren't worth risking someone's safety.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Michelle stood up and waited expectantly.

Christy just waved towards where it was. "Over there." She made no attempt to get up. She'd been giving Michelle lots of drink so she'd have this moment to run.

As soon as Michelle was out of sight she walked up to a little boy playing with his remote control car. "Can you do me a favor?" Hopefully he would, but if not she was just going to have to go anyhow. "Can you give a letter to the blonde woman with a Toys R' Us bag that comes out of the bathroom." She pointed to where Michelle had gone. "I got a call and I have to go. I don't want her thinking I was kidnapped or anything." When he nodded, Christy ripped off a corner of the bag she was carrying and wrote down a few words.

I went back to the hotel, Christy. She'd leave a longer letter there. "Thanks." She smiled and him and turned to start running down the path. She'd have a jog on her hands getting to the subway station, but she knew it was there and Michelle didn't.

Her double didn't jog. That was clear when Christy felt weak only halfway across the park. Maybe Christy was spoiled by not having a body, because every double she took over seemed unusually weak to her. She pressed forward, her bag under her arm. She eventually had to give up and walk, but she was far enough away for that. Michelle had to have the note now. She'd be heading back as well.

The subway was nearly full but she found a seat. She sat a bit impatiently, willing it to move. To distract herself she looked around at the ads and one caught her attention. A soft smile came to her lips. Empire State University. That sounded pretty familiar. She wasn't positive, but she thought she remembered Emma saying she went there. That's why she assumed it was in New York. Christy got up and moved closer to the ad, looking for an address. She was a little irritated that her seat was taken and she had to stand, but it was worth it.

At Penn station she moved quickly out of the subway and across the street. Her key was in her hand as she moved to the elevators. The hotel room was empty. She moved quickly, methodically, and grabbed all of the things she thought were hers, shoving them in one of the bags. Again she had to guess which was hers. "I know you have to be pissed, but this is the only way." She spoke out loud as she zipped up the bag. "If you want I'll write you a letter explaining it all, but don't you ever tell her about Emma." Her voice took on the growl of a threat. There would be nothing she could do, but maybe her double wouldn't know it. "Right now she needs to think it's you, because with the anti mutant hysteria they might call out the army to get us if she told anyone what I am… and then people could find out about you."

Speaking of letters. Christy pulled out the hotel stationary and started to write. "I have things I want to do and I feel like you're holding me back. I'm sorry. I'm not cheating on you." No, that was more Michelle's style, "I can't explain now, but I will. If I'm not back in time for the flight go without me. Christy." With a pause she added. "P.S. try to have fun in New York. No need to let this ruin your whole trip."

She grabbed her bag and moved for the elevators. She was a little proud of the speed in which she was out the door. Even without the subway inspired lead she would have beat Michelle. Her smile faded a little as she took the elevator down. This was a real jerk move she was doing. Even her ex didn't deserve this, but if Christy had tried to do this in person Michelle never would have let her go. One thing she felt she needed to do had her putting her backpack down. She tugged on the wedding band until it came off, leaving an indent and tan line behind. It had taken her a while to remove the marks left by this ring the first time, so she knew that was staying, but she didn't want to have that constant reminder of this Christy's relationship to that woman on her finger. She tucked the ring into a pocket on her backpack, then sighed and slung the backpack over her shoulder.

There was a bank down the street. She better get her money before she went. If the police actually bothered to try and find her using her bank card near the school would be a bad idea.

…………

She needed to save as much money as possible, because her double had been far from well off. Christy felt bad robbing her like this, but she figured that her double would want this fixed as quickly as possible too. Christy took the subway as close to the school as she could and then took a cab.

It was a beautiful campus, but that wasn't what she was thinking of. It was too damn big. How was she supposed to find Emma in this? She stepped out of the cab and paid the cabbie with a sigh. Nothing's too easy around here.

The chanting drew her to the crowd. "Muties leave." Their signs were being waved.

"Oh look, the beginning of the anti mutant movement. How cute." She rolled her eyes. "I get to see history in action." She marched past them and towards the buildings. She'd never worked at a live on campus, but she'd bet somewhere there was a list of who lived where.

…………

"Again, shape shifting would have been a handy little skill." She glared at the counter she'd just come away from. They couldn't give information like that out. They had the list of residence right there in that office and Christy couldn't get it. She looked young, young enough to go to this school. What that meant was that she wasn't taken as seriously when she said it was important she get in touch with Emma Frost.

With a sigh Christy stared down at the map of the campus she'd picked up. It had several dorms, and that's assuming Emma lived in one of them and not off campus. There was a point in her education that Emma lived off campus. Hopefully it hadn't started yet.

…………

"Do you know Emma Frost?" Christy asked yet another student. All she got was a distracted no and the girl went back to her talk with her friends. Christy really missed common respect.

With a heavy sigh she moved to sit down heavily on the bench. This wasn't working. Either Emma wasn't here or she was a recluse. Time to try another dorm.

"Hello, I'm looking for Emma Frost. Do you know where she is?"

"Nope." The jock barely looked at her.

"Have you even heard her name before?" Her voice deepened with her irritation. He stopped moving and looked at her, really looked at her.

"Well no, but maybe my friends have. I'm going to dinner in the cafeteria with them. Want to join us?"

I'm an information prostitute, Christy thought with some disgust. She smiled thankfully at him and took the date. "Thank you. I've been trying to find her forever. I need help."

"Why?" He held open the dorm door. "If you don't mind my asking."

She always felt awkward with men being gentlemen. It made her feel like they wanted something. Christy sighed. "I need her help, but I never asked what dorm she lived in." And the award for creative not lying goes to Christy Taylor, she thought with sarcasm.

His friends were, not surprisingly, almost all boys. "Hey guys." Steven addressed his friends. "This is Christy and she's looking for Emma Frost. Anyone heard a her?"

"What she look like?" Another boy asked.

What did she look like? "She's got blonde hair," even if it wasn't natural, "light blue eyes." Christy's eyebrows drew together as she struggled with how to describe a version of Emma she'd never met. "Pale skin. Good fashion sense." That had to be developed by now. "Has a bit of a Boston accent."

"Sounds good so far." That boy gave her a teasing smile. "Is she seeing anyone?"

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. "I don't know." Her voice was a little chilly.

"So anyone?" Steven asked.

"I think she might be in my English class." One guy spoke up. "I heard that name during role. Seemed to fit her."

"You mean she didn't go out with you?" Another guy teased. Christy didn't want to listen to the one liners and insults.

"Do you know where she lives?"

"Nope."

"Cause he couldn't even get her phone number." The boys teased again. Christy sighed heavily. Well, Emma was here, somewhere.

"Thanks."

"Hey, you could stay for dinner." Steven looked hopeful.

"No, I really need to find her."

"You still need to eat. And maybe we can ask around for you, you know, narrow it down." He glanced at his friend.

"Yeah, yeah, we can do that." Another boy nodded. It was clearly a favor for Steven to keep the girl here. It was nice to know boys found her attractive, but this wasn't what she wanted to deal with.

"Okay." You information whore, she thought to herself again.

The good thing about sitting with a group of boys is that they don't really want you to talk. They don't pressure you to talk. Christy ate quietly and nodded once in a while.

The scene after dinner was embarrassing though. Hopefully Emma could forgive this.

"Do ya know a chick called Emma Frost?" One boy started at a table halfway across the cafeteria, but it was easy to hear him.

"Emma Frost?" She heard another of the boys working another table. She turned to Steven and gave him a fake smile of thanks for the use of his friends.

"Ya know, my frat is having a party this Saturday." She felt a small smile come to her lips. She'd known that's where this was going. "I was thinking you could drop by. We really know how to throw a party."

He was still helping her, and he'd been relatively polite for a teenage boy. "I don't know if I'll still be in town." She added a pretend note of regret. "My plans for the next few weeks are really up in the air. I need to find Emma to figure it all out."

"Oh we'll find her." It was now a goal he took seriously.

"Hey." One over eager boy ran up to them. "Emma's McDermott's roommate. They're in Cheney Hall."

"There ya go." Steven smiled at her.

"Thank you." Christy stood up, ready to get to the biggest dorms on campus. She still had to actually find Emma but she had a chance now.

"Oh, oh, hey Christy." Steven was on his feet quickly. "About the party. I can call you with the details."

"oh god." She stopped walking away. "I don't even have a phone. I was hoping Emma could put me up or something for a little while."

"You have a fight with your roommate?" His voice dropped to a softer tone, a concerned one. Sweet boy.

"No, I just don't go to this school. I'm visiting." She'd withheld that information just in case he didn't want to pursue a lost cause, just like she didn't mention that she was gay. He was too helpful and she'd needed him.

"Oh." His disappointment was badly covered. "Well, if you're still in town you can still come." He rummaged through his bag and pulled out a piece of paper. "You're friend Emma can tell you where the house is. Everyone knows. Bring her if you want."

She took the paper and stared into his eyes. "Thanks Steven. This would have been a really crappy night if you hadn't helped me."

"Hey no problem." He smiled at her.

It was dark as she walked along the path. She stopped by a light and pulled the map out again, comparing it to what she was near. Cheney hall should just be a little further.

There was a couple she was slowly catching up to and Christy found herself slowing as she folded the map back up. The walk looked a little familiar. When he turned to face the blonde woman Christy could see they were arguing. She hated to interrupt, but this was the only path. She moved to walk right along the edge of the path, her foot hitting the grass occasionally.

"What didn't you? You've acted like some kind of superior being from day one, Emma!" His words were a growl and Christy's heart clenched. Emma? She found her steps moving faster and her eyes tried to see past blonde hair. Emma's head tilted as he screamed at her and Christy's jaw clenched. That asshole reached out and pushed her. Christy moved faster and when he swung at Emma she yelled. They didn't hear here.

Christy ran as he was chasing Emma and she didn't stop even as she rammed right into him. Her body didn't have mass, but it had speed and determination. "Fucking asshole." She slammed her fist into his nose. He shoved her hard and she fell off him. She was up quickly and watched him get up while wiping his bleeding nose.

"Stay the hell out of this, it's between her and I."

"There's nothing between you and Emma. Get the hell out of here before there's nothing between your legs either."

"Just go Max." Emma's voice was shaky from behind Christy. Christy felt the blonde teenager rest a hand on her shoulder. "Just go."

"You're so fucking superior."

"That's because you are dirt. It's hard not to be superior to that." Christy's voice was cold. She ached for her lost shape shifting power. Her side ached but she didn't show it. He grudgingly, angrily turned and marched off, muttering the entire way.

Christy wished it was because of her, but Steven and his friends were coming down the path, blissfully ignorant to the scene. Christy turned to Emma. "Are you okay? He didn't hit you did he?"

She had to look like a fool, staring like that. Emma looked so young, so innocent and shaken in a way that normally she wouldn't show.

"Hey Christy, you found your Emma?" Steven called to her.

"Yep." She yelled back and waved, trying to get him to go away.

"You were looking for me?" Emma took a shaky breath. "I don't know you do I?"

"No." Christy took in how Emma's arms seemed to wrap around her, comforting herself. "This is lousy timing, but I came here because I needed your help."

"Well." Emma gave her a small smile. "Seems you've earned it by playing my hero. What do you need? My notes aren't all that great." Emma studied her. "We don't take a class together do we? Who are you?"

Christy sighed. "Do you have somewhere private we can talk?" She winced a little as she moved to pick up the bag she'd dropped when she tackled Max.

"You're hurt? I think we have a school nurse."

"I'll be fine." Christy knew enough about pain, even if her knowledge was old, that she knew tomorrow she'd hurt. Still nothing was probably broken.

"Well, my roommate Christie is probably out." Emma's voice was laden with irritation. Christie? Well, Christy had never heard that Emma had a roommate with her name before. Maybe that was this universe's unique feature. "Come on up."

They started on the stairs and Christy flinched at how her side felt. Emma grabbed her bag. "I'm Emma Frost."

"Christy Taylor." Christy smiled at the girl in front of her. What would her life have been like if she'd met Emma earlier? Well, maybe given her home world's situation it was better she hadn't. The smile faded. "Was that your boyfriend?" That would be something she'd have to interfere with if he were. Emma wasn't going to be some battered girlfriend.

"No." Emma's expression darkened, making it look more familiar. "He's a mistake. He'd been asking me out and I finally gave in. Turns out I was right to turn him down."

"Good." Christy finished with the stairs; a sigh of relief escaped her lips at having that painful journey over. Just because she could deal with it didn't mean it was comfortable. Great, she'd be giving her double a damaged body back. It seemed to be a trend for her. At least this one wasn't shot.

Emma glanced in the room and Christy heard an irritated sigh. "Like I thought, just us." Emma held open the door for her. "Would you like something to drink?"

Christy must have looked a little surprised at the very, very familiar words. The last Emma was always interested in getting her a drink. "No thanks. Just had dinner and what must have been an extra large lemonade."

"My upbringing pretty much demands I try to be a good hostess." Emma smiled as she sat down heavily on a bed.

After sitting down on the chair nearby Christy just stared at Emma for a moment. "I'm going to sound insane. I just ask that you hear me out before you call security." Emma sat up a bit straighter. "I'm a mutant and I need your help." Christy had fully intended to go on, but Emma seemed to pale.

"Mutant?" Emma's eyes seemed to look around the room a little, as if looking for a camera.

"I have the power to create portals to other worlds, but if my double is nearby when I get there I end up stuck in her body. I'm trapped again."

"That seems a little far fetched. I've heard about people turning to ice or flying…"

"Or reading peoples minds, like you do." It was hard to believe this Emma was trying to claim she wasn't a mutant. "I know you're a telepath, because I've met you in other worlds." Telling this Emma about their relationship at this point seemed too much. Christy felt guilty for the mostly concealed panic in those ice blue eyes. "You're the only telepath that can help me. Feel my mind. You'll see the shield that no one but you can penetrate."

"I'm not that powerful." Finally some admission.

"It isn't about power, but you are that powerful. You might not know it yet, my double sure doesn't realize what she's packing. You'll get stronger." More confident, Christy thought to herself. "You're still developing. So is she." Christy held her hand over her own chest to indicate her double.

"This is crazy." Christy could feel the warmth of the mental touch and she just sat quietly, watching the concentration Emma seemed to need to do such a simple task. What if Emma wasn't developed enough yet?

God, how long would it take to develop telepathy and become competent? Christy felt her heart sink a little as she thought that for the first time. Her Emma would have been able to stop Max by herself, easily. How much of what the last Emma did for her was sheer strength and know how? This one didn't have either of those.

"Just a second. Let me try to open up to you." Christy spoke gently and worked to lower her shields just enough. She had to talk Emma through how to find the entrance that other Emma's found more easily.

Christy found herself guiding Emma through a few memories, and she did her best to not show anything she thought might upset her, because one brief glimpse of Christy's fight on the beach before getting lost almost made this young Emma lose her connection. Emotions really affected the telepath's control.

The knock on the door startled both of them out of the staring match. "Emma." A British girl's voice called through the door.

"That's Astrid." Emma stood up.

"Um, I don't know how your friends would act with me being a mutant." Christy glanced at the mirror to see she had a light glow in her eyes from lowering her shield for so long. The teenage Emma took much longer to look around than her older counterparts.

"Don't worry, Astrid isn't going to be a problem." That was made clearer by the complete silence as the pretty young black woman came in and seemed to hold a silent conversation with Emma. Christy turned to stare out the window and familiar stars.

"So this bird comes in here claiming to be a mutant in need of help?" The woman finally spoke, clearly for Christy's benefit. Christy felt the probe, foreign, and had figured out Astrid was a mutant too. A telepath.

"Astrid, this is Christy."

"Like your roommate? That's might be a bit confusing."

"You get used to it." Christy muttered as she shifted in her seat to look at the two other girls in the room. Emma stood just a little behind Astrid, and Astrid had an air of danger and protectiveness about her. Things were different here. "More powerful telepaths than you have tried slamming their way into my head. It doesn't work." Christy stared down Astrid. "I've got a girl, my double, trapped in her own head. I just need help freeing her, getting out of here, so I can try to go home again."

"And you came here?"

"Emma's the only one that can get past my shields. I've met another Emma and it works." Christy looked past Astrid to Emma. "In my world I have an Emma and we're connected. No other telepaths can get inside, the hole I made in my shield works for you, but it won't for someone else. I need you to help my double focus so I can pull out of her."

"I can't do something like that."

"It isn't something that we need to do overnight. I have to build up my power first anyhow." Christy slumped forward. "I just can't do this without you. I don't know what else to do. I can't stay here in this world." Her fists clenched. "I just want to go home."

"Aww, we have a blue bird here." Astrid's voice was supposed to be a little biting, but Christy didn't care to respond. Emma rested a hand on Astrid's shoulder, calming the other woman's attitude, thankfully.

"I'm just starting to learn about my powers." Emma moved out from behind Astrid. "I don't know if I can do what you want."

Christy sighed. "It isn't like I can go anywhere until you can. If I end up having to wait years, I have to wait." Her jaw clenched at that horrible thought.

"Where are you staying?"

Christy chuckled. "No where. I couldn't trust my double's girlfriend so I had to abandon her during their vacation."

"Oh, you're gay." Emma smiled at her a little. "My brother is gay."

"I know." Christy couldn't help but grin at that comment, thinking how fine with it her Emma became. Astrid's head tilted just a little as she studied Christy. Christy's grin faded. "I'd hoped that you could put me up, but I wasn't thinking. You live in a dorm."

"Yeah, and I already have a roommate called Christie. You are probably a big trade up but it doesn't really work that way."

"You're from an alternate world?" Astrid interrupted.

"Yeah,"

"What's it like there?"

Christy sighed. "It's hard. Mutants are looked down on in most countries and in some they are imprisoned and experimented on. I work with people trying to stop things like that from happening." Most people would be interested in the big picture and since this world looked to be on its way there too these telepaths needed to be careful. "In spite of that, there are some places that are good for mutants, I live in the best."

"Sounds cheery." Astrid's sarcasm was thick.

"Well, it does no good to ignore the danger. It's a fatal mistake." Christy could see her words upset Emma though. Christy softened her voice. "There are people that try to help. There are good people trying to make a difference." She smiled. "My Emma is one of those people. She's working to make it a better world. I think she has a chance of doing it. She took the time to get the money and power it takes to create change, and she's managed to do things that people never thought could be done. She's changing the world." Hope is a powerful tool, Christy knew that. It didn't need to be huge hope, but hope for something better made people strive for it.

"When you say My Emma…" Emma asked. Christy just sighed as she realized that if she was going to keep that a secret for now she would have had to edit a lot more of what she said.

"Yes." She gave the teenage version of her lover a small reassuring smile.

"Oh," Emma looked from Astrid to Christy again. "I guess there are a few differences between the worlds. I'm straight."

"I figured that out with Max." Christy left out the part where her Emma was actually bisexual and let the girl hold on to her labels. "You're also a lot younger. You're eighteen and mine is twenty nine."

"And you are?" Emma studied her carefully, and Christy could see the start of an older Emma's searching stare in those eyes. The raw material that made Christy's Emma so powerful and intimidating to others was all here. This Emma would get there one day.

"Three years older." Christy smiled and ignored the strange time loss of her first jump to her Emma's world.

Emma was studying her. "How long have you two been…"

"Two years, almost exactly." Christy hated that their anniversary could be the last time she saw her lover. She wasn't going to accept that. Christy sat up a little straighter. "I'd known her a little less than year before we became a couple."

"Astrid?" The young Emma turned to her friend. "I can do this right?"

"This could take time to teach something like this." Astrid moved to sit on the other bed with a sigh. "Especially since I haven't seen a head as crowded as you claim yours is." Astrid addressed Christy with the last part of her comment.

"But I could learn this right?" Emma asked and Christy got the sense that if it took a while for her to do it, this Emma would still agree to help. "We can help her?"

Christy didn't wait for Astrid's answer, she interrupted their side conversation. "Yes, you can. You're going to be a powerful telepath someday, if you aren't already."

Emma's gentle mental touch had Christy lowering the shield again. She sat patiently waiting for Emma to feel out the challenge. "I don't understand what I'm seeing."

"We'll figure it out."

"Can you find a place to stay?" Emma asked that and Christy just sighed as her answer.

"Christy can stay with me." Astrid spoke suddenly. "I don't have a roommate."

The two telepaths went silent again and Christy rolled her eyes as they talked about her in front of her. Astrid must have been the one to teach Emma that bad habit, but at least Emma, Christy's Emma, could hide it better.

Two hours later, after Astrid and Emma worked out their schedule for training, which had to fit around their classes, Astrid led Christy to another dorm. Without Emma with them it felt strained and awkward. Astrid was probably like a lot of telepaths and didn't like a mind she couldn't read.

"You can have that bed over there. My classes are early in the morning, so I'll be moving around."

"That's fine." Christy glanced around the room. The room looked a lot like Emma's, the same furniture and layout, but with different posters.

The next morning Christy waited until Astrid left before sitting cross legged on the bed and lowering her shield. She might need to buy sunglasses if this Christy's body started to respond like the last one. The problem was she didn't know how fast she should be recharging, because this time it wasn't just her that needed to prepare for it. Even if she could pull in enough energy to separate within two weeks, and that was unlikely unless there was a massive disaster that killed thousands, it didn't mean Emma would be ready to try and find the hidden Christy in her mind.

…………


	8. Complications 1 Part 2

500 Miles – Complications

By Princess Alexandria

"Hey Christy!" The boy yelled across the cafeteria. Christy, along with the other two girls at her table and several other students turned to look at him, but he didn't seem to care. Steven jogged up to their table.

"Hey Steven." She smiled and kept her irritation at the interruption to herself. Emma had been telling them about her plans for the future and Christy found it fascinating to see how Emma started out her journey to be a teacher of mutants. She decided to let herself see this whole mess as an opportunity to learn more about her lover, because it sounded like this young Emma was probably not too far off from Christy's years ago.

"So, I was wondering if you'll be in town for the party?" He smiled at her and waved to the Astrid and Emma just a little. "You can bring your friends, it'll be fun." Christy felt a little surprised that he was still asking her out when more attractive girls were at the table. Christy didn't have the style, the girl like charm, which the telepaths did. "It's Saturday night."

She looked at the others, hoping for a sign. Her eyes stayed on Emma longer, but it was foolish to expect this Emma to mind that a boy was asking Christy out. She gave Steven a guilty grin. "I don't know…"

"I don't see why you couldn't go have fun." Astrid interrupted them and Christy turned to stare at the girl, willing her to shut up. Astrid just gave her a small smile. "It isn't like we have any plans just yet. You'll be stuck here… on campus… that night, and we already have plans." Astrid glanced at Emma when she said that.

So that's how it is, Christy's eyes grew cold. Astrid wasn't happy with Christy being around and was trying to get rid of her at least for the night. She covered up her irritation as she turned to the hopeful looking boy. "I guess I'm free." It beat sitting around in Astrid's dorm while the telepaths went out shopping or something, and called it training. There was also bound to be free food. Her doubles money wasn't going to last long unless she got creative about that. At least this was a new type of creative for that particular problem, less upsetting.

"Are you sure?" Emma was looking between the two of them, and Christy recognized the look of understanding starting to show. "You could always come with us."

"No, that's okay." Christy had already said yes to Steven. "I've never been to a college party before, maybe it'll be fun." She could consider it research. Mystique always said to try out all types of settings so that she'd know how to blend in if she had to.

"So you'll be there." Steven smiled and Christy didn't have the heart to tell him he didn't have a chance in hell. She just confirmed and smiled. He looked happier as he rushed off the class.

"My roommate's going to be away tonight." Emma tilted her head as she studied Christy. "Why don't you come over and we can work on that project."

"I'm not available tonight." Astrid interrupted before Christy could talk.

"I don't think you'll be of much help with this." Christy felt a little better at the irritated look on Astrid's face. "It isn't like you can go in with her." They'd tried that once, not that Christy agreed, but Astrid thought she could just piggyback with Emma and explain what was going on with Christy's shields. It didn't work that way, thank god. Christy didn't want anyone else in her mind. It was bad enough she was letting other Emmas in, but they were other Emmas. "Tonight sounds good. It isn't like I have anything else to do around here." The last two days were pretty boring.

"Well good. You and I can get some dinner and then go back to my dorm."

A deep voice behind them sounded cold and made Christy's muscles tense, because it was clearly a threat. "So, that's why you didn't like our date. You're a rug munching dyke." Christy turned to see the boy, Max, glaring at Emma. He'd spoken loud enough to have a lot of people staring at them and Christy could see Emma's face redden.

"I think it might have had more to do with you thinking a first date should end in hitting the girl." Christy moved to stand as Emma said that. She glared at him and noticed a few people moving around them.

"Stupid self important bitch." He spit out his insult, but Christy saw one of Steven's friends heading her way. The boy that actually found out what dorm Emma was in, in fact.

"You realize that any girl in this cafeteria seeing you act like this would have to realize what a jerk, and a potential wife beater you are." Christy spoke coolly, in control of her tone and didn't sound the least bit intimidated even though he was larger, and she wasn't in her own body. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were a date rapist as well." She spoke loudly, drawing even more attention. "It isn't SAFE for a girl to date you. I'm sure that bit of information will get around Max…" She glanced at Emma.

"Devreaux." Emma added, just as loudly. "He's Max Devreaux."

"Oh," Christy smirked at him as the whispering and muttering at other tables seemed to get through to him. "So long Max." Christy could see that Steven's friend was standing off to the side just in case Max decided to be stupid. Christy nodded subtly to him, liking the feeling of being backed up even it if wasn't someone trained for it.

"Emma Frost is a dyke!" Max yelled while turning to leave.

"Funny, how every girl that doesn't want you is gay Max." Emma yelled after him. "I think you should consider the fact that maybe it's just that girls with at least half a brain wouldn't be interested in someone who gets violent if they don't get a kiss."

Someone muttered, "Wasn't a kiss he probably was after." Christy also heard a few girls saying that something had to be wrong with Emma to turn down a hunk like Max, and it made Christy disgusted at teenage girls. The evidence was right there in front of them, and they didn't see it because Max was good looking.

"I've lost my appetite." Emma's jaw clenched as she grabbed her purse. Christy picked up the rest of her food before following the fast moving Emma out the door. Astrid was moving more slowly behind them. Talking here wasn't a good idea, so Christy just focused on putting the banana Emma had left on her tray in her purse and stuffing the rest of her own hamburger in her mouth. She couldn't afford to waste money on food, or she'd end up eating out of dumpsters and her double might not like that.

"I can't believe that jerk!" Emma paced across her dorm room. Christy found it hard to not stare at the very teenage tone, the way Emma was so very concerned about what a few students thought of her. It reminded Christy of the Stepford sisters actually. With teenage worries that were made to be far more important than they really were.

"So he said you were gay." Christy sat back on Emma's bed. "Big deal. It isn't like the people in the courtyard are wanting to lynch lesbians, they're after mutants." Christy shifted her jacket so that she didn't squish her banana, but she kept talking. "You can't let this bother you, because if it does and they see it…" It was weird giving this Emma the lecture her own Emma gave her when Christy first heard people whispering about what probably went on behind Emma's bedroom door, all of which was insulting and wild, and due to Christy's unique position she couldn't dispute it even though she knew they were lies.

Emma turned to look at her, and there was some guilt in her face. "It isn't that being gay is bad, but I don't like him saying that about me. People might believe him."

"A few were thinking that." Astrid added from the other bed. "You haven't been dating and they did wonder."

"So they wonder." Christy hated this damned drama over a label. "So what. If I had twenty bucks for every guy that called me gay when I turned him down… I'd have enough money to go out to a nice restaurant with a pretty girl." She teased, and Emma was startled out of her drama for a moment as she laughed. Christy smiled. "Boys always lash out with that one. Even women that prove it by sleeping with way too many boys get it. Just brush it off."

"Yeah. Yeah, it was stupid." Emma sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed Christy was sprawled on. "I shouldn't let that stuff get to me."

"Are we able to go train now?" Astrid asked Emma. Christy felt a bit bad about the schedule Emma was keeping, working on homework and learning to use her telepathy. Too bad she couldn't afford to actually take the pretty girl out to a decent restaurant to say thank you.

Christy found a comfortable spot in the library so she didn't have the same four walls around her and pulled out the journal she'd bought. Dear Christy… she started to write.

…………

"Hey Christy!" Steven called out to her as she stepped into the large frat house. Emma had kindly lent her an outfit for this, but Christy didn't miss the questioning look she'd gotten for asking for it. She wondered if Emma thought Christy was cheating on her lover, but if that were the case Emma didn't seem angry.

"Steven." She smiled as he maneuvered his way past the other people in the room to get to her side. She leaned closer to him. "I didn't realize it would be so crowded." She had to talk loud to be heard over the music.

"Yep, it's always like this." He glanced around, and it felt awkward. She didn't know what to do at a party like this. Even talking was hard to do with the noise level. "Do you want to get some punch, or something?" He wasn't as comfortable around her either now that he had her here.

"Depends on how much alcohol is in the punch." She smiled at him. "I'll still be able to walk right?"

His tense shoulders relaxed and he smiled. "Well, maybe if I mixed the punch with actual punch."

…………

Christy knocked on Emma's door again. "Come on." She whined when no one answered immediately. When she heard the door opening she swayed back on her feet a bit. "Emma…" She smiled widely… "Emma, Emma, Emmy… I found you. Not my Emmy, but Emmy…" She giggled.

"Oh god, how much did you drink?"

"One of my frat brother's thought it would be funny to drug her punch when I told them I was giving her real juice." A boy's voice. Christy turned to smile at Steven.

"I told him I was gay." Christy's pretend whisper was still loud. "And he didn't get all upset. See… good boys don't act like jerks. If you had to date a boy, you shoulda dated this one." Christy reached out the lean on Steven's arm. "Of course, you'd be better off with Christy, but she's with the skanky ho."

"She said she wanted to be with you." Steven talked with Emma. "I… I'm sorry. I knocked the bastard flat for this, but I really didn't mean to…"

"It's okay." Emma's voice was cold and Christy turned to look at the girl.

"You look just like her when she's mad." Christy always thought Emma looked so sexy mad, but she'd never be stupid enough to say it, normally. "I miss her."

"Let me take her." Emma reached out and grabbed Christy's arm, starting to pull her into the room.

"I wish I was your roommate." Christy stumbled a little, but Steven helped steady her. "Astrid hates me, I just know it."

"I've got her. Thank you for bringing her back." Emma closed the door.

Christy's voice raised a little to talk through it. "Thanks Stevey"

"You are so lucky my whore of a roommate isn't here." Emma let Christy go and moved to the other bed in the room, pushing the sheets down. "You can sleep it off in here."

Christy just stood still and stared at Emma, her excited energy faded suddenly. Her voice was deeper, less frantic. "I miss her." Tears filled her eyes and she pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle a whimper. "My Emma… will I ever see my Emma again?"

Emma stopped moving and stared at Christy. "I'm sure you will." The voice was soft, young, and comforting, but it lacked the certainty that Christy's Emma had.

"I love her." Christy wrapped her arms around her body. "She's my queen. My goddess." Emma moved to touch her gently on the arm as Christy let her pain go, finally. "I was supposed to be home now, not in this crappy world. Not married to a bitch of an ex and wanting…" Her eyes stared into familiar ice blue eyes. "I was supposed to be home, saving her. They have her and it was my job to protect her." Christy curled into the embrace, clinging to the Emma that didn't even smell like Emma. The shampoos were all wrong.

"I'm sure you'll figure it all out. You're very smart." Emma petted her back.

"I miss you Emma." Christy whispered and moved her face, tilted it, to capture soft lips. Emma froze for a moment, and then gently pulled back.

"Let's get you to bed." Emma spoke gently and guided Christy to the other bed, helping her sit rather than fall back. Christy tried to fumble with her shoes, but Emma slipped them off. "Just lay back and I'll cover you."

"Remember when I took care of you when you were sick? I couldn't catch anything, so I could still hold you." Christy's voice cracked. "I want to hold you."

"How about I move the chair next to the bed and hold your hand until you fall asleep?" Emma asked softly, while petting Christy's arm and pulling the sheets over her, even though Christy was still dressed.

"It hurts." Christy whimpered as Emma moved the chair.

"I know." Christy could see Emma had tears in her eyes as she reached out and squeezed Christy's hand. "You just sleep sweetheart."

"I miss your touch. I miss how you warmed me when you caressed my mind." Christy's body shook as she tried not to sob. "My queen." She lost the battle and sobs racked her body. Emma's grip stayed tight and Christy clung to her. It took her a half hour to stop crying and slowly fall asleep.

…………

Pain, it was the first thing she was aware of. Christy groaned and moved to rest her arm over her eyes, as if it could block out the pounding. "I think I'm gonna be sick." She muttered, while thinking she didn't miss having a body, not at all. She could have gone the rest of her life without knowing this feeling and been fine.

"If you do, make sure it's on her sheets and not my floor." Emma's voice had Christy opening her eyes, hopeful, but not surprised when her dream faded and young eyes were staring down at her. "I brought you some juice to go with the aspirin."

Christy groaned as she rolled onto her side and struggled to sit up. Parts of the evening started to come back to her. Dancing, laughing. Steven angry and yelling at someone. Pieces started to make sense and Christy stared at the glass in Emma's hand as she finished putting the puzzle together. She'd yelled that she was gay at the party, and told the kids she wasn't ashamed and being gay was wonderful if you had the love of a wonderful woman. Why the hell did she do that? At least her drugged mind managed to keep her being a mutant a secret. If she'd spilled that she'd be beaten up in an alley instead of in Emma's dorm.

"Here, drink." Emma helped her hold the glass since her hands were shaking a bit. Christy couldn't stop them. "I decided to skip class, so is there anything you need?" The blonde gently moved some of Christy's unruly hair out of her eyes. Christy looked up at the girl and felt pang of pain as she recognized sympathy and remembered crying herself to sleep.

"I'm sorry I had him bring me here." Drugged Christy still knew that Emma would be better than Astrid at taking care of her.

"It's not your fault. Stupid frat boys thought it would be funny to drug you, like it's just a game." Emma's words were harsh, but they gentled. "You tell me if you're up to eating and I'll get you something."

"I'm fine." Christy didn't think she'd keep anything down if she tried now.

"Okay. If you want to talk tell me, otherwise I'll get back to my Education Theory paper." Emma moved back to the desk and Christy was thankful. She was still trying to regain her equilibrium. She took another shaky drink from her glass, before speaking softly.

"I kept thinking you're going to become a wonderful woman, and I didn't realize you already are." She gave a small pained smile that Emma returned. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

…………

"Umm…" A boy stopped at Christy's table the later that day. She'd been left alone as Emma and Astrid went to work on training again. Christy looked up from the journal she'd been writing in. "I was at the party and I was wondering…" Oh god. Christy sighed as she waited for some embarrassing comment. "You did that thing about Freud." Thing? Christy vaguely remembered teasing the people claiming to have trouble understanding Freud, since Psychology was her major and she'd taught a few classes in it, she must have been thorough. "Can you tutor me?"

"Tutor you?" She'd thought maybe the boy wanted to talk about being gay, or had other embarrassing questions. She didn't think he had a job offer.

"The way you said that Freud stuff, I remembered it, but now I just don't understand Jung, the whole collective unconscious…" He sighed heavily. "The teacher sucks. He starts talking about his car or his weekend and then we never get to talk about the book. The midterm is coming up and we haven't even covered half of what we should have."

Christy glanced at someone walking past with a tray of food and then at him. She hadn't eaten; she'd rationed herself down to one or two meals a day. "You pay for dinner and we can talk about it."

"Dinner?" He noticed her glance towards the cafeteria. "Oh, dinner, sure."

As they ate a few other people came to sit by them as Christy explained the collective unconscious and a few other Jungian concepts. She could hear people taking notes and she almost laughed. While paused so they could catch up to her she got an idea. "Do you think you guys could get at least ten people willing to pay maybe five dollars for two hours a couple times a week?" When she got nothing by curious looks she sighed. "I'm getting pretty poor without a job, and I know enough I could teach that man's class. I know Freud, Jung, Pavlov… get me a syllabus and I'll match the topics to what he's supposed to cover."

"Oh man," A girl smiled. "You have no idea. We were talking in the hall and most of the students are lost. We can get it."

"Charge ten." Someone else spoke up. "They'll pay it."

"When can you do this?" A boy spoke up. "Because I have a class at 10:30 and…" A few others were fidgeting when the subject of timing came up. She figured out a schedule that would work for her original six and told them to tell people that she didn't know how long she'd be in town, but while she was she'd follow the schedule, but she'd need a textbook and a syllabus.

Someone actually offered to buy the books for her. Christy was in business. She just agreed to not charge him as long as she was doing this. She wasn't going to have to starve her double's body. Emma might have offered money, but the girl was giving so much already and this Emma didn't seem rich, or why else would she eat at the cafeteria most days.

Two days later Christy found herself having to stand on the steps of the library so that they'd have enough room to do this. It was a nice day so none of the twenty five students that showed seemed to mind. It was a weird feeling to finish teaching a class and have twenty five students walk past her and hand her ten dollars. Many thanked her on top of it. She'd never felt so appreciated for teaching.

"I work in student programs." One girl said as others were packing up. "I'll see if I can get us a classroom for next time." She smiled. "It could rain after all."

"Yeah, that would be good." Christy folded her money up and put it in her pants pocket. It bulged and felt strange.

"Cool. So how did you learn all this stuff?"

"College." Christy smiled while giving a non answer. "My teachers were good." She hadn't realized that she'd missed teaching. Her other job was important, but Christy had to give up teaching and maybe that was something she should re-evaluate when she got home. Maybe there was a way to do both.

Christy moved to a tree and sat down, pulling out a journal to write in. She might as well enjoy the surprisingly nice weather.

…………

"I saw Max again today." Emma spoke while staring down at her textbook. Christy stopped outlining her lecture and looked up. Since Emma's roommate was away for the weekend Christy was staying with Emma and giving Astrid a little privacy. McDermott, as they'd taken to calling her, was away a lot so Christy was able to spend every other weekend with Emma. It was by far more fun, even if they didn't do anything but study. Christy found herself staring at Emma sometimes, thinking how cute a young Emma was. Astrid hadn't loved the idea of leaving Christy and Emma to their own thing, but Emma needed to be around Christy's shield to learn enough to teach something to Christy's double.

Christy was beginning to suspect Astrid was in love with Emma. It would explain the jealous glares Christy got when Astrid didn't think she was looking. It had gotten worse as they passed the month mark and Emma still wasn't ready to help Christy. They all lost a bit of the excitement of getting it done and Christy knew it was a more long term project. She'd hoped, but she had pretty much expected this to take a while.

"What happened?" He'd confronted Emma a few times, and Christy was starting to worry that it was escalating. Emma didn't want to report it though. She thought she could take care of it herself, that it would end. It was hard to believe any Emma had ever been that naive.

"He said." Emma sighed and the slightly guilty look she gave Christy screamed she wished she didn't have to repeat it. "That he knows my gay friend stays the weekend, and that he wondered if you were as good…" Emma blushed. "as good at sex as the kids say you are with teaching."

"You cleaned that up a little didn't you?" Christy gave Emma a small smile, hoping to comfort her. "Does it bother you? People saying that we might be…" And these rumors never involved Astrid, funny how that girl spent just as much time with Christy and didn't get this crap.

"No, I mean it isn't like it isn't true for some Emma." Emma pushed some hair behind her ear. "I just wanted you to know he's talking about checking out your impromptu class to see if he can screw it up."

"Oh, don't worry about it. My students are really protective of my time; he wouldn't last five minutes if he pulled us off topic." She'd been surprised when the students themselves kicked one disruptive boy out of class before she had a chance to. Ever since then they'd had no problems. She'd warn her kids that Max was going to be a problem.

Christy watched Emma's tense shoulders as the girl went back to her work and decided maybe she'd do more than that. In a month Max had taken what seemed like every opportunity to cause Emma trouble. Astrid offered to take care of it for Emma, since Emma's powers didn't work on him when he was like that, but Emma wanted to do it herself. It was a bit strange that Emma could control other people if she needed to, but not Max. Maybe Max was a mutant. Only a telepath or some other more rare mutants like Christy could keep Emma out of his or her head. Emma was getting pretty decent with her telepathy after all.

To bad she couldn't just leak that theory and let him deal with the bigots, but if they found one mutant on campus it would just make them look harder for more.

After her lecture was set Christy pulled out one of her journals to start writing. "What are you working on?" Emma asked and Christy looked up to find she'd probably become the distraction Emma wanted so she could take a break from her essay.

"I thought my double could use some help." Christy glanced down at what she'd been writing and then at Emma. "I just want to give her a head start. Warn her about mistakes. Give her some advice that could help. She can learn from my mistakes." Christy thought of the other journal she had in her bag. "Wouldn't you like to know about things you could change, horrible things, so they couldn't happen?"

"You mean mistakes I might make?" Emma's eyebrows drew together as she thought about it. "But if I had a book I'd just live in fear of making those mistakes. It would be like Oedipus Rex, worrying and stressing constantly about a prophecy, only to end up fulfilling it another way."

"Not necessarily." Christy hadn't expected reluctance. Her Emma would have jumped at the chance to save her Hellions or any of the other disasters that befell her. "If you knew that say… you were going to be in a car accident on a certain day, you could stay at home, or take a bus. You could avoid being there when the accident happened and you'd go on with your life."

"This is all assuming that our worlds are the same, and I don't think they are. I'm not like your Emma and you said you never went to New York with Michelle. We're in a different world."

"But it's so similar, you're going to run into the same problems my Emma did." Christy set her journal down and moved to slide off the bed so she could sit next to Emma. "Things that haunt her. She's had a hard life and I don't want that happening to you."

"I make my own destiny." Emma's expression wasn't comforting. Christy wasn't getting through to her. "A book isn't going to change that. I'm going to finish my degree and start a school. That's the extent of how your Emma and I are the same. I'm going to be a teacher some day." Emma glanced at the book. "Have you ever considered that you'll do more harm than good giving her that book? What if her Michelle isn't like yours?"

"There are other things in there besides a warning about that bitch."

"And if Michelle isn't like that here, you could destroy their relationship for nothing. Maybe the other Christy actually loves her." Emma spoke softly, but Christy felt accusation. Christy had thought of that, she had. She did her best to just outline the signs her double should look for. She didn't outright say that her double should dump Michelle now. She just didn't want to be so devastated again, not even if it wasn't her really.

"I'm writing a book for you." She finally admitted it. "I'm writing what I think my Emma would want you to know."

"I don't want a book."

"I really think you need it."

"Thank you, but I don't want a book." Emma was firm about this and Christy sighed heavily.

"People could die."

"I am not your Emma. Her life isn't going to be mine." Emma got up and moved away from her, pacing the floor. "I see you staring at me sometimes and I know what you're thinking. I don't even need my powers to see it. I am not her. I'm sorry, but I'm not."

"What the hell?" Christy stared at the girl. "I'm just trying to spare you pain, why are you acting like this."

"I'm not gay. I'm in love with a man that is too blind to realize it, but I'm in love with someone else and having you stare at me like that, it's disturbing. I'm not her."

Christy almost rose to the level of tension Emma was putting out, but she took a deep breath and sat back for a moment. Sudden declarations of not being Christy's Emma, emotional, and really not part of the conversation, Christy decided that Emma was feeling threatened.

She didn't do anything to make Emma feel that way did she? Well, except wanting to help her and protect her. She did stare sometimes. "I'm sorry." Better to just apologize, even if she didn't think she did anything wrong. "It's just that you're the closest thing to home I have, and I would have given anything to be able to protect my lover from her pain. Somehow it feels like I have a chance to. These shifting realities… they get confusing."

"It's okay." Emma sighed and Christy was glad to see the rigidness leaving. "I'm sorry, I understand. It is confusing." Christy would try again with the book later, after she'd finished writing in it.

…………

Christy came back from the city alone. She'd made her weekly brief phone call to her mother to let the woman she was alive and well and stopped off for a few other little items. It sucked that she had to blow so much of her money on this, but it was something that would work.

She had to take the sunglasses off before she walked up to Stevenson hall with her book bag over her shoulder. It took some concentration to keep the charge she was building up over the past two weeks to not show in her eyes, but Emma had said she felt she was almost ready, so Christy should get ready. She wore the sunglasses most of the time she wasn't in the dorms, and suffered the teasing of her class with a wry grin. They didn't know.

She nodded to the few people she recognized as she made her way through the halls. Her ears were straining to hear if anyone was coming as she stood in front of a door she'd never visited before and checked the number. A quick flick of the wrist and she had it opened. The lock pick tool slid back into her pocket as she quietly stepped into the dorm.

A pile of clothes in the corner made it clear she was in a boy's room. Christy ignored them and moved to the refrigerator. She'd done her research and she knew what she'd find. A dozen protein drinks sat on the shelf.

The thin latex gloves she pulled over her hands were most likely overkill, but she wasn't used to working like this when she had fingerprints. She popped the lid off of the needle and moved to inject some of the steroids into each drink, leaving only very small puncture marks that most people wouldn't see. As she got to the drinks in the back she started to put more in, using up the rest of her supply.

She then moved to carefully lift Max's mattress and put a baggie of more of the stuff under there, along with a gay porn magazine highlighting lean firm asses. It didn't look like he used this space, so she spread stuff out so that he hopefully wouldn't feel them as he slept.

She listened at the door before slipping out unseen. She felt a bit of a bounce in her step as she calculated how long it would take for him to drink all the protein drinks. That was the day the basketball coach would be getting an anonymous phone call. Christy wouldn't leave until at least this one problem was taken care of for Emma. If Emma let her do nothing else, she'd do this.

…………

"Oh my god." Astrid swept into the room. "Did you hear?" Christy's expression didn't reveal that she had and Emma gave Astrid a questioning glance. "They've suspended Max Devreaux for using steroids. He's off the team and packing for home as we speak."

"So he's leaving?" Christy glanced at Emma and felt a little lighter when she saw the satisfaction in those eyes.

It was during dinner that they overheard that he was a queer and was staring at guys' butts in the locker room. After dinner they heard a rumor that he'd bent over for his entire high school team before leaving for college. It was getting outrageous. Christy just smiled and nodded as her students retold the tale. An Eye for an Eye wasn't normally her motto, but in this one case it felt wonderful.

…………

Her hands were shaking, and Christy just held them out over the desk to stare at them.

"Well, are you ready?" Emma spoke softly while moving up behind her. "I've borrowed a car. We should be able to find a nice deserted place to try this."

"I don't know what happens after I leave." Christy clenched her fists. "She's probably going to want to go home pretty fast."

"It's better that way. The students around here would just nag her for tutoring anyhow."

Christy turned to face the blonde girl. This always bothered her. "Emma." Her words trailed off. The teenager looked more confident, more in control. "Thank you."

"We haven't done it yet."

"But if it works I won't have time to tell you… I hate this bouncing between worlds, but I don't hate that it let me meet you." Christy left her double's bags in Emma's room, along with the money she had managed to replace. It wouldn't make up for the job her double lost, but at least it was something.

Emma came back into the room as Christy was setting the book on her bed. "Christy." Emma's voice was a little cold. "I told you I don't want it."

"Just read a little before you make up your mind." Christy touched the cover. She'd put a lot into making that for Emma. Her glowing eyes got a little watery. "Please."

"I'm going to live my life and deal with whatever it sends my way." Emma spoke more softly as she picked up the book and held it for a moment, before holding it out for Christy. "I don't need this."

Christy didn't know if her double could hear her thoughts, but she asked the woman to try at least one more time to get Emma to take it. Just try.

"Time to go." Emma held out Christy's sunglasses. It was night and it would look strange, but this was what they had to do.

The woods were quiet and Christy's scream echoed, birds and the other animals fleeing filled the silence between the first and second scream as Christy fell in the lights and shadows of her portal once again. "Emma…" She prayed as she left the younger world. She focused on an older, more confident Emma.

…………

**_VANESSA CARLTON _**__

**"A Thousand Miles"**

Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd

And I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
Tonight

It's always times like these  
When I think of you  
And I wonder  
If you ever  
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong  
And I don't belong  
Living in your  
Precious memories

'Cause I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
Tonight

And I, I  
Don't want to let you know  
I, I  
Drown in your memory  
I, I  
Don't want to let this go  
I, I  
Don't....

Making my way downtown  
Walking fast  
Faces pass  
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd

And I still need you  
And I still miss you  
And now I wonder....

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you...

If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by  
'Cause you know I'd walk  
A thousand miles  
If I could  
Just see you  
If I could  
Just hold you  
Tonight


	9. Complications 2 Part 1

500 Miles

Complications II

By Princess Alexandria

Christy sat in the backseat of the car as Emma drove and Astrid was chatting constantly with the blonde. Christy stared out the window with unblinking eyes. The last two months had been hell, trapped in her own body, unable to talk, to stop Christy from running away, unable to tell her mother what was really happening, unable to stop that other woman's memories from haunting her.

The drive barely registered in her mind as she just stared blankly at the passing streets. Part of her, but this time it really was her, thought something about shock and how it was perfectly natural. It was Emma opening the door and staring at her in concern that finally made her blink. They were there? Christy had gotten so used to zoning out while she had no control. It took a little effort to actually remember to move her body herself. She almost expected it to get up and do it without her.

"This bird's not too talkative." Astrid spoke as Christy walked along side Emma. "And she smells like swamp water."

"She's perfectly able to hear you." Emma's voice was cold. Christy moved closer to her and gripped Emma's arm.

"I would have said it telepathically, but you've burned yourself out doing that trick."

Christy turned her head to look at the blonde. "You're hurt?" Christy remembered the voice that actually talked to her, helped her to pull a shield up between her and her double, sparing her from her double's thoughts, and the power that felt like it would wash what little was left of her away. Emma had sounded strained as she explained what needed to happen, as she saved Christy.

"No, just tired." Emma moved closer and stared into her eyes. "I'll be fine."

"But you couldn't have known that." Astrid continued to talk, her voice higher than normal. "You could have burned out your telepathy helping out the wondertwins." Astrid paused and giggled at her own comment. "Form of a life-size water woman." The dark skinned telepath then looked at Christy, who wasn't really interested in listening to that girl talk. "So does this mean you should pick an animal form?"

"She's not ready for joking Astrid." Emma filled in the long gap as Christy didn't bother to answer that comment. It felt mean spirited to her and she didn't want to waste energy on that.

"I did it. I'm fine." Emma turned to stare at Astrid. The silence after that and the slight wince Emma had on her face made Christy think the blonde had a headache, but she still had her telepathy too.

"I need a shower." She spoke softly after the silence stopped being accompanied by looks and movements that made it look like the two telepaths were still talking. She felt cold, wet, and she did smell. She'd fallen into the pond her double had them standing in.

"I'll take you." Emma gave her a soft smile, before turning to Astrid. "Would you get her a change of clothes from my dorm?"

"I'm on it." Astrid nodded. Emma steered Christy towards the showers while Astrid went a different direction.

Thankfully the dorm showers weren't busy this time of night. Christy was embarrassed by how unsteady she was on her feet, but she did her best to wash the body. The body. Weird how her mind was still having trouble calling it hers. It was her body. Her fist clenched, squeezing the washcloth. Hers. Her damn body and it wasn't fair it could just be taken away like that. Yes it was horrible what the other Christy was going through, but it wasn't like she'd agreed to give over her body.

A soft sob escaped her lips and Christy let herself cry for everything she'd been through and everything she'd seen her other self had been.

Her eyes were red as she left the showers and the clothes Emma gave her only got the blonde a nod in response. Christy dressed for bed. At least they weren't going to toss her out right away.

If she had any energy she might have called home, but she could barely think. Emma helped support her on the walk back to the dorm and Christy rolled into Emma's absent roommate's bed again. This time McDermott was home for Thanksgiving, but Emma and Astrid had no family to go home to. Christy took a deep breath and tried to calm her mind. She had family. She should go home and see if she still had a girlfriend, a wife, and if her mother was as upset as she imagined, but what could she say to explain this?

……………

The voice interrupted her sleep. "So has the wondertwin called for a plane ticket yet?"

"Stop calling her that, and no. She's been sleeping."

Christy wished she was still sleeping. Her head pounded like she thought hangovers would. She opened her eyes and stared at the other two now being quieter as they talked on the other bed. "I should go huh?"

"Not until you're up for it." Emma moved to her bedside and Christy swore the look Astrid gave her was scary, full of jealousy and anger. Emma didn't see that and when Astrid noticed Christy looking at her the cold look disappeared.

"So tell me twinny, did you know you were a mutant before all this fun and excitement?" Astrid's smile seemed just as cold as her glare. It wasn't something Christy could see, she just felt it.

"Um." Christy sat up and leaned against the wall. Emma handed her water, which was actually very good. Christy drank it quickly. She was so thirsty. "No, I didn't know." She hadn't even heard of such a thing before. She could feel it now though. She could feel death in the distance. It was morbid and a little special. The hate though, it was scary. As a lesbian she'd gotten a few cold stares, but it looked like as a mutant she would get worse.

"Let me get you some more water." Emma took the glass back and moved to her fridge. "I think we both lost a little on last night. I feel like I have a hangover. You?"

"Oh yeah"

When Astrid finally left Christy let out a sigh of relief. That girl had far more energy than either Emma or Christy had left. The remaining two just sat in silence for a while.

"I'm sorry we brought this to you." Christy spoke softly, feeling bad about the pain her host was feeling.

"Yeah, well, I can't say it wasn't an adventure." Emma gave her a small smile. "Don't worry about it." Emma's eyes moved to the window. "It was pretty weird though, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Do you remember much?"

"More than I want to." Christy sighed. "She was so screwed up. I can't even begin to… you have no idea." She thought about the way her double framed Max, but the boy was gone now. It wouldn't do any good to tell Emma about it now, would it? And it was better he wasn't around. God, but what a way to do it. What if he'd had a reaction to the steroids? Her double hadn't even really cared.

……………..

"Hey Christy." A boy called to her as she was eating dinner with Emma. Christy looked up to see Steven.

"Hi Steven." She felt uncomfortable as she realized she had to pretend she was someone who pretended to be her.

"I heard you were leaving. Are you sure you don't want to apply here? This is a great school, other than the Psychology teacher." He gave her a wry grin, acknowledging how she'd done better than that man. "And everyone would love it if you still tutored."

"I can't." She didn't have a degree in Psychology and she wasn't a teacher. "I should go home." Part of her had thought about the life her double built for her here, she liked the popularity, the friendly waves and the way everyone knew she was gay and didn't care. She actually liked some of the people she'd met when she didn't have control of herself.

"Alright. I had to try." He turned around and Christy was pulled closer to Emma as the blonde whispered to her.

"I didn't know they were going to do this, but the people she taught are coming in the door in thirty seconds to throw you a party." The cafeteria doors opened and a stream of people came in, the noise level in the room quadrupled. "You are coming with us." One girl pointed at her and for a moment Christy's heart pounded. It almost looked like a lynch mob, except for the friendly smiles. If Emma hadn't warned her Christy might have actually run, thinking they'd realized she was a mutant.

Emma trailed after her as Christy was ushered back to the class they'd used for review. There was pizza and coke. She managed to visit easily enough, she knew their names.

"One last question." Someone asked and Christy turned to face them. "I know you said you were done, but I don't get the Hierarchy of Needs the teacher was talking about today."

"Maslow?" Christy asked and she was surprised to find herself remembering a class she'd never taught. "It's really pretty simple…" Christy found herself explaining the concepts just as clearly as her double and she caught Emma's curious look as the blonde moved closer to her. After she was done Emma dragged her off to a corner.

"Sorry, guys, I've got to borrow the Professor."

"Um, don't call me the Professor." Christy had a weird disturbed reaction to that. It just sounded very wrong.

"Did you know that Maslow stuff before she took you over?"

Christy paused as she thought about the one Psychology class she'd taken. It might have covered it, but she wouldn't have remembered it on her own. "She planned her class lessons so loudly in her head…" Christy's eyebrows drew together as she thought about this. "No I didn't. Not before."

"Well, maybe you just got a four year degrees worth of information without all that pesky studying." Emma's words had Christy staring into space as she thought about it. Did she? What else had her double left behind? God, please not the cold bloodedness. She paled as she considered that possibility.

The party was tame compared to the Frat party and Christy was thankful for that. She pretended to be happy as she felt sick with her thoughts. She accepted phone numbers and emails graciously, along with a few students that wanted her to continue to answer questions. A few got her email in return. She felt herself disconnecting as her body moved around the room.

"Let's get out of here." Emma moved to take her arm. "You aren't up for this yet are you?"

"What?"

"You've been staring a little too much at the wall and I don't think your eyes have focused on anyone talking to you once in the past five minutes I've been watching you." Emma's voice rose over the chatter. "Christy here needs some sleep. She has an early flight in the morning." As they made their way to the door loud goodbyes filled the air. The party would go on without her.

……..

Christy felt jittery as she packed her last bag. On top of it sat the one mission her double gave her. Try. She didn't know what was in this book; her double hadn't wanted her to. Christy had caught that and focused on other things while her double wrote, but she did catch that Emma needed this.

"Oh no." Emma's voice drew Christy around, with the book in had. "This again?"

"She worked really hard on this." Christy caressed the cover. "It was hard for her, hurt, to write whatever she wrote in here."

"But you don't know what it is?"

"It was private. I didn't read it."

"The book she made you, are you going to read it?"

Christy sat back down on the bed. "Yeah. I'll read it. I don't believe everything, but I'll read it." Her eyes moved to her hands, which were caressing the outline of the twin towers on Emma's book. "She said Michelle was going to cheat on me, but… I think maybe that isn't right for this world. Michelle isn't like that, and she'd never have time to anyhow. She works and takes classes."

"But you doubt her now don't you?" Emma moved to take the book out of Christy's hands to place it on the desk, before kneeling down in front of Christy. "Her world was different. Have you read Oedipus Rex?"

"Self-fulfilling prophecies, it happens because you expect it to happen. I know the idea." Christy reached out for the book again and held it out. "She was really upset when she wrote this for you. Something big is in here, something you need to avoid."

"I can't live my life like that Christy. You shouldn't either." Emma took the book and tossed it into the empty garbage can next to the desk. "Give up on destiny and make your own." Something in Christy ached to see the lovingly made book in the trash. She got up and pulled it out. With a heavy sigh she put it in her bag, while ignoring Emma's disappointed look.

"It's yours. If you change your mind, call me."

"I might call you, but never for that."

…………………….

Christy slowly stepped out of the airport. She felt a little sick and this time it wasn't fear of flying causing it. She'd called her mother instead of Michelle to come pick her up. Her double had never once called Michelle after she'd left Christy's lover alone on their romantic vacation. She'd just checked in with Christy's mother to let the woman know Christy was alive, and she pretended to be Christy when she did it. She didn't answer questions well either. It was nice that her double didn't want to tell people Christy was a mutant, but a more convincing lie would have been nice.

Christy's mother thought Christy was in New York alone, to get some training. Her double had hinted it was important and that she couldn't get it anywhere else. She'd avoided the topic and talked about what?

If her double hadn't left as soon as she was free Christy would have punched the bitch for this. Christy stood on the airport sidewalk waiting to see her mom, and she prayed the woman came alone. The talk with Michelle was better done in private.

Christy took a breath and moved to the car that just pulled over. Her mother was studying her. "Hi." Christy spoke softly as she opened the back door and put her luggage in. She felt like a dog slinking back home with her tail between her legs.

The ride to her mother's was tense and far too quiet. Christy asked softly if she could stay there a little while, until she could iron things out with Michelle. Somehow just showing up at her apartment like nothing happened didn't seem right, even though it wasn't her fault.

"Two months Christy." Her mother's jaw was clenched as she sat down at the table. "Are you going to tell me know what you've been doing for two months? I was worried sick. You barely explained anything and Michelle has been a wreck. You left her alone in New York! What were you thinking?"

I wish my double was trapped in me right now, Christy thought with some venom as she took a deep breath and tried to deal with this mess. "Something happened." Her double had at times tried to think of what might work to get Christy out of this, and Christy had thought a lot about it on the plane ride here. The truth was just so damned unbelievable. .

"Mom, have you heard of mutants?" She looked up into surprised eyes as her mother paused. Thankfully her brother wasn't home right then, because Christy's heart was racing in just telling one family member. "I found out I'm a mutant." She haltingly explained what that was, she admitted to the possession, to the fact she was hostage in her own body, she cried as she told her mother how hard it was not being able to take control, to tell her mother what was really happening. When she stopped talking she stared with scared eyes at the woman that raised her, worried that she'd be like the people on campus, fearful and hateful, but her mother pulled her into a hug.

"I can't even pretend to understand." Christy took a shaky breath and pulled away from her mother. "I just… I don't even…" The older woman was searching for words. "It must have been hell. I'm so sorry I didn't know, that I couldn't tell when she called. I should have known you would never just leave like that."

"I'm a mutant." Christy spoke softly. She was no where near the level of her double, and she doubted she could be. She'd seen some of the dreams of what it took to make a woman like Demise and she hoped she never was that powerful, because the cost was too high.

"How did you get free?"

"She took us to a telepath." Christy found herself leaving out names. "It took a while, that's why I was gone so long."

"A telepath? Those really exist?" Christy could hear a hint of worry in her mother's voice. It seemed everyone was afraid of mutants.

"Yes." Christy stared at her own clenched fists on the table. "Two months. She stole two months." Christy knew her double apologized, knew she felt bad about it, but how the hell was she going to pick up her life now? "I had to have lost my job, and Michelle…"

"Michelle calls me a few times a week. She's worried about you."

Maybe she'd take her back then. Christy hoped. She hoped this wasn't too much for their relationship.

…………….

NINE MONTHS AFTER NEW YORK

…………….

"Mutants need to be registered. We need to know who they are and more importantly what they can do." Some politician spouted off for the camera, cashing in on the fear. Christy sighed and turned the page of her textbook while Michelle continued to watch. When it got more sensational, more bigoted she finally looked up.

"Can you turn that shit off?"

"Just a minute." Christy finally noticed that Michelle was rivet to the screen.

"It's a bunch of lies to spread fear."

Michelle looked at her. "But you were trapped in your own body by a mutant. You had to let a telepath violate your mind."

"Violate?" Christy set her book down. "What are you talking about? She didn't violate me; she helped me, saved me."

"She changed you." Michelle's eyes were too hard, too hateful. "You aren't the same."

"What?" Christy knew for a fact Emma didn't do anything to her.

"You're so distant. Sometimes I wonder if you even love me anymore. If that telepath or that damned woman…"

"Just because I want to do my homework?" Christy couldn't believe this. "This school is harder and I just don't have time to go to the movies or go out to eat more than once a week."

"You never have time."

"And I need to save my money."

"What for?" And those two words made Christy remember her double's thoughts. Michelle never did plan for the future. But why was she so paranoid that Christy wanted to? Christy bought stock and from the attitude she got you would have thought she'd spent the night with a whore. "You plan to do everything that freak told you to?"

Christy just stared into hateful eyes. Freak. There it was. Michelle didn't even know about how Christy's double felt about Michelle, Christy kept that to herself. She did know that the Freak in question was Christy from another world. She knew that and she still called her a freak.

"I am not having this talk with you." Christy picked up her homework, which she should have done in the office. Michelle had been nagging her about never doing anything with her though, so she sat out here while Michelle watched TV. She wished she hadn't.

"You aren't a freak." Michelle spoke more softly. "I mean all you can do is make your eyes glow. That's nothing." And that was her version of an apology. "When they make you register…"

"You think there are levels of mutation? That just being a little bit mutant is okay?" Christy stopped walking and glared at her lover. "I can't believe you. Do you have any idea what would happen to me if I'm forced to register? Did you even take world history? What happened to the Jews Michelle, What happened? Did they care if you were just a little Jewish in Nazi Germany, or a little black, or a little gay?" It took an effort to keep her voice from getting louder so the neighbors didn't hear. "And she said someday I might have her power. That I'd be powerful like those mutants they show on TV. I could be like that. A freak." She glared at Michelle. "You married a freak." Christy spun around and marched for the hall.

"Christy." Michelle whined an apology. "I didn't mean you and maybe if you didn't use those powers they wouldn't get worse."

…………….

A YEAR AFTER NEW YORK

……………..

Christy took a deep breath as she pulled into the driveway. She took notice of the white Ford in the front of the apartment that she hadn't seen before. As she shut the car off she took a moment to hope she was wrong. It had taking her a few weeks to patch things up with Michelle when she came back after New York, but they were together. Michelle forgave her for not trusting she'd understand about the mutant thing. Christy told her that she'd needed training and the person who could do it demanded secrecy. It hurt to lie about it, but she was more affected by her double's mistrust then she'd preferred and protecting Emma from anything short of a sure thing just made sense.

Not that she'd talked to the telepath more than twice after she got back.

She left her coat in her back seat as she stepped out of the car and locked it. She should have been in class today, but Michelle had been too interested in when she'd be getting home. The phone call late last night that hung up on her and the new haircut Michelle got, even though Christy had told her so many times how much better her hair looked long, were all things her double said to watch out for. But this wasn't supposed to happen to her for a few more years.

She quietly opened the door and her heart clenched as she heard giggling coming from the bedroom. Her jaw clenched as she softly closed the door and moved across the living room, taking in the piles of clothes, the half eaten meal set for two also sat on the dining table.

"Oh Michelle, I've got you now." Words carried to her ears and Christy just stood still.

"Do your worst." Christy's lover teased back. Bitch. Christy took a deep breath and walked down the hall. She stood in the door to her own bedroom and pushed it opened just a little more so she could see her lover, the woman she'd had a commitment ceremony with, laying on her back with a naked brunette over her. She stared silently as the women kissed and watched as a stranger made her way down Christy's lover's body to suckle on her breast.

She took a deep breath, her voice cold. "You will both get dressed and get out of my apartment now. I don't want to see either of you ever again." They broke apart like the other had turned to fire and Christy saw her lover's panicked eyes. Christy had tried so hard to believe this wouldn't happen, she'd doubted. "GET OUT!" She screamed when neither made a move to even cover themselves. It got the stranger moving. The woman moved quickly around her and into the living room for her clothes.

Michelle should have followed. "Christy."

"There is nothing you can say to make this okay." Her voice cracked. "Nothing. Just leave."

"I live here too."

"Not anymore. You cheated on me. That makes this place mine." She pressed the heal of her hand to her forehead, her face red and she struggled to hold it together. "Get out, I swear to god you don't want to be near me right now."

Michelle took a step closer. "Christy."

Christy's hand came down hard on the wall, her eyes burned with the power she'd let in. "Get Out. Don't come back tonight, you can stay with your whore." Michelle's eyes widened as if she just realize how angry Christy might be. Christy had pulled power into herself because in that moment she'd like nothing more to run further away than any human could.

Some dark part of her enjoyed the fear in Michelle's eyes as Michelle rushed after the bitch she'd brought into their home, and how Michelle didn't risk getting too close to Christy to do it.

Christy crossed her arms and stared at that bed. She wasn't sleeping in that tonight. When she heard the front door open she called out one last thing. "Get boxes, you're moving out."

The door slammed hard and she felt her body shake with the finality of it. She'd wanted to be so wrong. She never thought she'd be so right. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she turned away from the crumpled bed.

Two days later Michelle came back for her things and Christy had her brother there to help her deal with it. She let her ex-lover take her personal belongings, but when she started talking about furniture she only let her have that disgusting bed. Christy hadn't been able to sleep on it since anyhow.

………………….

The room was quiet. Christy sat with her tv dinner and stared at the television, but she didn't care what was on. She felt lost. The journal she'd found while cleaning out her things and getting rid of some stuff Michelle left behind sat on the table. Christy moved to stare at it. She'd almost tossed it out, angry, hurt… and embarrassed that she'd held onto her beliefs that here it would be different. Yeah, here it was worse.

She wanted to blame her double, but she remembered the concern and that woman's anger felt so much like what Christy felt now. Finally she turned the TV off and turned on the stereo as she pulled the journal into her lap. Her hand caressed the familiar cover before she opened it. She needed to figure out what to do with her life now, and maybe her double left her some clue.

A piece of paper fell out and drifted to the ground. She picked it up and noticed Emma's scrawl. So that's where she'd left the blonde's phone number.

After an hour of reading about the future, Christy picked up the phone number again. If she didn't feel so alone… it couldn't hurt to call. Just to have someone to talk to. She dialed the number, but an unfamiliar voice answered. Emma wasn't there anymore. They didn't even know who she was.

She tried another number she found and Steven answered. She chatted for a while before asking.

"No, I haven't seen Emma around lately." He told her gently. "Seems you always come to me when you're looking for her."

"I know who can get the job done in finding co-eds." She joked weakly. If Steven didn't know where Emma was Christy wasn't going to find the girl. It was a shame, because this affair of Michelle's proved that her double's journals had some truth to them and Christy wanted to give Emma one more chance to take hers.

"Well how are you doing?" He asked her. "Haven't heard from you in almost a year. You still in college or did you become a teacher yet?"

"I'm taking a double major." Impersonal she could do, but she didn't want to tell him how she broke up with her lover a week ago. "Psychology and Computer Science." It was one suggestion she'd taken really seriously from her double right from the beginning. Computer skills would be good for any career. She found her Psychology classes incredibly easy, like she was relearning something rather than learning it for the first time. She knew why that was.

"Computer Science." He seemed to perk up. "I'm starting a business. Maybe you'd be interested. I want to create websites for businesses and stores." She opened her mouth to wish him luck when her eyes fell on the journal.

"Sounds good." She reached out to grab it. Maybe it could sound really good.

"Yeah, but I don't have the money to get it moving yet."

"Investors." Christy started flipping through the stocks her double told her would most likely do well for the next ten years and a lot of them were computer related, or internet related. "How much do we really need to start it up?"

"We?"

"You want a partner?" She'd need more education, but she could drop her Psychology major and focus on computers. "Too bad Emma isn't around. She was majoring in business."

"You really want to do this?" He asked again.

"Yes, I really want to do this." She felt a little lighter. Her part time job on campus as the computer department grader wasn't really serious. This was a gamble, but really, she had nothing to lose. They talked for two hours about plans and what it might take to get this up and running.

When she was done talking with Steven she made another phone call. "Mom. Can I move home?" The loneliness of the empty apartment was too much and she needed to free up money.

…………………

She stared at her old bedroom. The computer was set up in the corner and she had her first assignment. Steven landed a few contracts with friends, and it was enough to get them out there. Once they had enough to show off to other businesses they would be on their way.

"Christy?" Her mother rested a hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay honey. If she couldn't see what she had in you she wasn't worth it."

"Thanks Mom." She gave the shorter woman a weak smile.

……………..

TWO YEARS AFTER NEW YORK

……………..

"Altered Realities. Create a good first impression on the Internet, where the customers of tomorrow are searching for you… Christy speaking." She answered the phone on her desk as she clicked on the latest project Steven sent her. Some part of her felt that the name paid some respect to the woman that made this possible, but she was just humoring Phil with that long spiel when answering the phone.

"Hey Chris." Phil started to talk. "I just landed that account. I was magnificent and your background research and demo weren't too bad either."

"Which account, you were trying to get a few." She knew she should remember but she was still concentrating on finding the bug in this website.

"The one that would start us down the path of wealth and power." His words stopped her distraction and she focused on him.

"You got it?"

"Yes I did."

"Oh My God." She laughed and spun in her chair. This was it. The big time. "Oh my god, Phil… you are amazing."

"I keep telling you that." He chuckled. "So I guess you can hire that assistant you've been wanting, we're expanding. Check out that school you graduated from."

"I will." This made the West Coast division of Altered Realities the big money maker now. Steven would be jealous, but he'd love it.

"And maybe you can get me a sexy secretary." He joked.

"I can see the sexual harassment charges now." She teased him. "But seriously, we need to hire office help. Getting distracted by answering phones slows me way down."

"You got it."

……………..

SIX YEARS AFTER NEW YORK

………………

"Joyce, where is the Peterson file?" Christy asked while studying the report one of her techs had handed her as she got to work.

"Right here Ms. Taylor." Whenever the new receptionist called her that Christy sighed.

"Joyce, I've told you before, we aren't that formal here, that's just Steven's hangup. East coasters are always more uptight." The woman had moved with her husband to the area and instead of losing the valuable employee they'd given her a transfer.

"Okay, sorry Christy. I'll work on that." The woman smiled at her and Christy nodded.

"See that you do." Her tone was teasing as she took the offered file. "Oh, and would you call payroll and tell them that I haven't received the Christmas bonus paperwork, I want to get that approved early so our people actually have it in time to shop."

"Of course Ms… Christy." Joyce grimaced at her almost slip and Christy just chuckled. She understood why Steven was such a stickler to formality in the main office, he had clients drop by more often and the clients wanted that formality. It would take Joyce a while to get used to the less business oriented side of Altered Realities. The West Coast was where most of the techies worked.

She worked behind closed doors on paperwork until lunch. "Ready to go?" Phil poked her head into his office.

"And why is it the head techie has to go to meet and greets?" She sighed. She hated these things. She did less and less coding during the years are more meetings with potential clients.

"Because I just look pretty, I don't know how to answer the tough questions." Phil teased her.

"Okay beauty queen." She stood up and grabbed her jacket. "Let's go."

The meeting was going okay. Christy outlined how they could help the company, how reliable they were, and she smiled played the charming one while Phil outlined costs and contracts. It looked like they'd sign and the money brought in would be good.

Then it all went bad. "We do have one concern." The man to the right of the owner of the company spoke. "It's that you don't screen your company for mutants. We don't want mutants to have access to our files."

Christy took a steadying breath and glanced at Phil, unable to believe she was hearing this. He recovered more quickly and turned back to listen to the rest of this. Christy clenched her fist under the table, trying to hide how nervous and angry she was.

"We are a family oriented, human friendly organization and we support a few like minded causes. A mutant working for your company could cause us a lot of problems."

"You want me to force my staff, to undergo dna testing?" Christy's voice rose a little and she noticed a few people nervously shift in their chairs.

"I'm sorry." Phil interrupted smoothly. "But we have no plans to alter our hiring processes for a contract. It's too much to ask our employees to do that." He stood up and picked up his jacket.

"So you have mutants working at your company?" Mr. Peterson spoke and Christy moved to stand up as well, not liking the tension in the air at all.

"We don't know, and we prefer to keep it that way." Phil answered curtly. "Good luck with your search for a service, but obviously we aren't the right choice for you."

Christy's jaw was clenched as she walked with him out of the building. She could see Phil was walking stiffly and he slammed his car door when he got in.

"I am so sorry Christy. I didn't do my homework, and I didn't know what kind of bastards they were. I have no excuse for pulling you into that." He pulled out of the parking lot and was moving a little faster than normal. Christy couldn't argue, she felt dirty just having been in that building with them.

"You didn't even consider taking their offer." Christy spoke quietly. She knew it was a big client and they'd argued over accepting other contracts before. They could have faked results.

"No, I won't work for people that would lynch my friend if they got a chance." Phil spoke firmly and Christy had to look out the window to regain her composure. "I normally screen the companies much better than this. Steven and I both do that. Altered Realities isn't going to be associated with these hate groups. Steve and I agreed on this, changed our way of getting clients ever since you told us Christy, I know that wasn't easy… I'd never make you work for a client like that. Not again. I wish I'd known before the first one."

Christy remembered the day she came into Phil's office and told him she couldn't do a job he'd sent to her. She'd taken one look at the anti-mutant propaganda that peppered their company newsletter and she decided that she had more integrity than that. That money, her career which had just start, wasn't worth that. Finally she had to tell Phil why she was breaking such a well paying contract and he'd stared at her. For a moment Christy worried that he knew and agreed with the companies beliefs, but he just took the newsletter from her hand and read it.

"Okay. This will cost us, but I'll get rid of them." He broke the contract for her, back when every dollar they made counted. She should have known he wouldn't take another one even if it paid well.

"I didn't know you guys were doing that."

"Hey, we built this company together. We stick together." He smiled at her. "How about we go drinking? We cleared the day for those bastards, so I have nothing else going on."

"A beer sounds good." She smiled.

…………………….

Phil dropped her off at the office around seven. They'd talked for hours and it was nice to reconnect with him. They'd been so busy that they'd drifted apart a little. She dropped her briefcase off and locked up again. She wasn't going to take work home tonight.

Traffic was better at night. It only took her forty minutes to get to her driveway. Christy stepped into her house and called out. "Honey, I'm home."

The frantic scramble of feet on hard wood floors and the yaps of excitement made her smile. "Hey baby." She leaned down and petted her roommate. "How's my little boy? Were you bored?" She glanced out the window and saw the light on at her mother's house. Christy had bought both of them two years ago, when the houses were being built. Living in a room at her mother's house didn't work anymore with her strange hours and her need to be able to work from home occasionally, but she needed someone else to help take care of Link when she was away on business.

When it came time for bed she laid on the soft sheets and stared at the ceiling making a list in her mind of the things she'd need to do the next day. She wondered sometimes what her double would think of the woman Christy became. She was so different from the one that took her over now. Her life didn't look at all similar. Christy sighed. And she was still alone. She used her work as an excuse to not date, or the idea that a woman might be after her money now. She wasn't filthy rich by any means, but if she wanted a new car or a new house she could pay cash. She'd taken that book and used it to help her make investments as well as business decisions and she was successful, well off, respected, and alone.

……………..

"There you are dear." The cultured voice drew Christy's eyes around. The dream didn't supply much background tonight. Emma sat in a chair by a fireplace. "I was wondering if you'd visit. It seems like it's been months."

Christy smiled at the strange re-occurring dream of Emma. Her double must have left a little more than her Psychology degree behind. This Emma had been invading Christy's dreams for the past month. She found herself looking forward to this dream. "Not months." She moved to sit on the chair beside Emma and the fire.

"You practically glow in my dream realm." Emma was studying her. That was another odd thing. Emma insisted it was her dream. Christy just sighed at that comment and let it go. "Have you been feeding again?"

"I don't call it that." Christy grimaced at the mental image that gave her. "I've been absorbing today. I had a crappy day and it helps me relax."

"At least you had a day. I've been sitting in here with nothing but myself to keep me company for so long time means nothing anymore." Emma waved a pale hand as if ordering a drink and a wine glass appeared on the new table on Emma's other side. "My students haunt me."

"Students?"

"Oh, I became a teacher dear, didn't you know?" Emma's jaw tensed for just a moment. "Lovely students, such potential. Gone."

"I'm sorry." Christy spoke softly and reached out to rest her hand on Emma's.

"If I didn't have you here to talk to once in a while I think I might actually go mad. How did you ever survive those months trapped in your own mind? You aren't even a telepath."

"Sometimes I'd act like it was just a big movie I was watching as I saw through her eyes."

"At least you didn't conjure imaginary friends to keep you company." Emma sighed and Christy wondered at her own sanity, since even her dreams called her unreal. It was something she'd struggled with after New York, but she thought she got better. "Enough of my problems. So you had a bad day? Want to talk about it? There is nothing else going on here, we might as well discuss the minutia of your day."

"Oh thanks, make me feel special." Christy sighed. Sometimes her mental Emma was downright insulting, lashing out at her.

"Sorry, comas take it out of me." Emma smiled at her. "So do you want to talk? I do get bored in here and maybe I can help."

Christy woke up to the alarm, feeling tired. She just laid there with her eyes staring at the clock. "Only I would have a dream woman that can be bitchy sometimes." She muttered and tossed her sheets off her body. "God, not another day… Link can I call in sick today?" She muttered towards the dog sleeping on the floor. She had to step over him to get to the bathroom. "You're no fun, you never say yes."

…………………….

"I fired someone today." Christy sighed as she thought about the scene it had been. Once Zack realized what she'd said his face had turned an ugly red. "He was sexually harassing another employee."

"Well then it was the right thing to do." Emma told her and waved a hand at the fire to make it burn brighter.

"Oh I know. I've fired people before, but no one ever glared at me like that for it. I swear he would have killed me if he had a gun."

"Get his picture to security so that if he tries to come into the building or the parking lot they can apprehend him." Emma didn't pretend she wasn't real anymore and Christy gave her dream the same courtesy. Sometimes Christy's subconscious came up with good ideas. This wasn't one of them.

"We aren't that big. I don't have a security person, let alone a few." She sighed. "The West Coast division has just under a hundred employees now. It doesn't make sense to hire security for that. Our building is shared with a book distribution center."

Emma looked thoughtful. "Well, I'd like to say don't worry he'll walk away with his tail between his legs and you'll never hear from him again, but it could just as easily go the other way. Are you a good judge of character?"

"Well, aside from Michelle." She sighed, "I've done pretty well. Zack wasn't my hire. I wouldn't have hired him, there was something off about him."

"Do you think you need to worry?" Emma watched her as Christy thought about it. "If you do, hire security to at least drive by your parking lots regularly. You don't have to put them on payroll, there are companies that do this." Christy nodded. She was concerned, for herself and for the women that reported him.

"So," Emma took a sip of her ever present wine. "Michelle?"

"Cheated." Christy felt her shoulders sag. "In my bed. I found them."

"Oh dear."

"My double was right, but she got the timing wrong. It happened a year after I came back."

"That's been a while hasn't it?"

"Five years." Christy stood up and moved to stare at the mantle of this fireplace. From her seat she couldn't see details, and she had never gotten closer. The mantle had a picture of a group of students, smiling and laughing for the camera. It had a whip laying on its side, white. It also had a picture of Emma and her, the only one taken. Astrid had caught them hugging goodbye. Christy didn't even have a copy of that one. She barely remembered it being done.

"And since then?"

"Would it be horrible of me to say I heard she was living in a bad neighborhood, driving a clunker car, and had a girlfriend that slept around, and it made me happy to hear it?"

Emma laughed. "No, that would make you human." Her tone became more serious. "But what have you been doing?"

Christy didn't answer. She'd built a business and made money. Somehow it didn't quite sound like enough even though it had taken so much of her time and effort.

"I really am getting tired of this room. It doesn't even have four walls." Emma glanced around at the two walled room and the blackness of everything else.

"I tried to call you the other day." Christy turned to move back to her chair. She had to agree the room was ugly, but she would rather be here than in her more normal dreams.

"Why?"

"I miss you and I wanted to see how you were really doing." Christy sighed. "Maybe I keep seeing you because I'm supposed to find you. I've tried a few times over the years, but I just never seem to make contact. These dreams are new and I sometimes think they might be more than dreams."

"I don't have the power to contact anyone. This is just a dream, because I can't reach out and touch anyone from in here." Emma just dismissed it.

…………………….

Christy shut her computer down with a sigh of relief. She'd found the problem in the budget and could finally send it to Steven. It was a data entry error. What should have been a hundred was written as ten thousand. Her department wasn't really going poor. The office was darkened and quiet as she made her way out to the car. Even though it was Spring the cold air and rain had her pulling her coat more tightly around her as she walked.

"So, you thought you could fire me you god damn dyke?" The menacing voice caused her heart to pound as she started to turn towards it. She saw Zack barely before the pain hit her. She cried out and fell to the cold concrete as pain radiated from her side, where he'd hit her with a bat. "Teach you a lesson bitch." She screamed as he hit her again and then she moved to try and crawl away.

"Oh no." Zack's voice was more of a growl. He wasn't sane. Christy could hear another blow coming and she rolled over, away from it. Her foot lashed out at him, knocking him off his feet. She slammed her foot into his face before she moved to get up, tears of pain in her eyes as she tried to run for the car.

"No, you're not getting away!" She heard him and tried to fumble for her keys. The bright light and siren startled her.

"Freeze!" A deep voice called out and Christy turned toward him and the car. Police… no, the security she'd hired. Zack turned and tried to run, but one large man tackled him to the ground and

Christy sagged against her car in relief. "Are you okay ma'am?" The man who'd driven the security car came up to her as Zack was tossed into the back seat of their car.

"No." She just shook her head. "No." Her body started to shake.

"Should I call an ambulance?" He asked and she wanted to tell him she was fine, but her ribs ached, throbbed and her head… she blinked a few times to try to fight off the blurriness.

"No, call the cops." She couldn't drive like this, but she could give a statement. After that she could get a ride to the hospital. And if she had to be hospitalized Zack might get a harsher sentence. She was putting that bastard in jail.

She watched as a police car came and took custody of Zack. Her ex-employee had blood dripping down his face from what might have been a broken nose. She did that and felt no remorse for the violence. She grimaced as she tried to stand up straighter; the ache in her ribs worried her. The officers took statements from her and the two men that save her.

"Christy?" Phil ran up to her. The security company probably called him. "Oh god, you look like you lost a fight." He gently reached for her forehead before stopping himself. The pain in his eyes, the sympathy, was almost more than she could take right now.

Her voice was controlled. "I need a ride to the hospital."

"Of course, Of course I'll take you."

"Zack is going to do some serious time. Get a lawyer. I want to ruin him." Her eyes were cold. She almost felt like looking around for Demise, her voice held that woman's ruthlessness, but it was her. She didn't feel any remorse for her dark thoughts and just let herself hold onto her anger. It was justified and it kept her from crying.

She had to stay overnight for observation, because she had a concussion. Christy hated the hospital, the smell, the way she had to stay alert so that no one drew blood or anything that could be dna tested. But finally she was able to go home with a handy bottle of pain pills and a few bruised ribs. Her left eye was black and swollen and her jaw ached when she chewed.

Still, as she stood in the doorway of her home she shook her head. The security saved her, the security that Emma told her to get. She would have dismissed her worries and it could have cost her big time.

…………..

"You're fuzzy, out of focus." Emma sounded concerned. Christy felt out of focus.

"I'm taking pain pills." Christy carefully sat down. "I was attacked. Zack attacked me."

"Oh…" Emma looked angry, willing to protect her. It was a nice feeling to see how much her dream Emma cared, and Christy ignored the strangeness of it.

"The security you told me to hire came in handy."

"That's good, but I'm sorry you needed it at all."

"Me too." Christy took a breath to try and calm down. "God I was scared. I'm not like her, I don't know to fight. He was going to beat me to death with a baseball bat." For the first time ever since these dreams began almost a year ago it was Emma reaching out to her. Emma pulled Christy into her arms and held her as Christy finally let herself cry.

"I know. I felt like that after Max attacked me. If that other Christy hadn't been there, I wondered what would have happened. She stopped him from hurting me, but his eyes… they haunted me for a while." Emma spoke softly. "I made it a point to learn how to protect myself after that. I was tired of having no idea what to do if I couldn't make my powers protect me." Emma wiped Christy's tears away. "I'd never tell anyone that in real life, but there's no harm here. Take self defense classes. It will make you feel safer; it will even make you safer."

Christy enjoyed the feeling of arms around her and didn't say anything or do anything that would change this dream. She felt safer in these arms. She could feel the press of Emma's body, could smell her shampoo and Christy marveled at the details her normal dreams lacked.

"Sometimes…" Christy spoke softly as she enjoyed being held. "I really envy my double."

"Why?" Emma's hand was gently caressing Christy's hair. It felt like a lover's caress and Christy wondered if her dream would actually give that to her. If she concentrated hard enough could she make it happen?

"Her Emma wasn't straight." Christy leaned in harder and rested her forehead on Emma's shoulder. "It just doesn't seem fair does it? I've been good, I've given to charity. I've done my best to do the right thing even if it costs me, because I don't want to be like her, and I don't have love, while she did horrible things and she does. I feel like Santa didn't double check his list hard enough because the wrong Christy is lonely."

"Everyone is lonely dear, in their own way." Emma sighed. "But perhaps your double, if she ever did get home, is less lonely than the rest of us. God knows she was dripping with loneliness when she was here."

"She felt a lot less lonely when you were with her." Christy moved to pull away and sat in the new addition to the room, a couch. Emma had room to sit with her. "I do too now." And who developed an imaginary friend in their twenties? Lonely children could get away with it, but Christy wasn't one of those. Well, she could worry about that during the day like she normally did. She didn't want to waste this time.

"You are a rather sweet illusion dear. Much kinder than the other ones I have."

Christy just sighed as she wondered if maybe the real Emma had screwed her up after all. Christy never felt all there since the possession and she'd blamed her double, but her double's images wasn't the one in front of her telling her she wasn't real.

Time had passed, but it was always hard to figure out if there was more night left. Emma got up and moved to the fireplace mantel. Christy watched her pick up a picture and stare at it. "Christy, I want to thank you for being here. If all I had to listen to were the ghosts of my students blaming me for their deaths…" Emma sighed and put the picture back down. "You have no idea how much I look forward to seeing you."

Christy didn't know what to say. She watched Emma and noticed the same fuzzy quality on Emma she'd said Christy had. "I've been feeling different lately." Emma continued. "I think I'm waking up. It's doubtful I'll remember any of this. It's a shame, I would have liked to remember enough to hunt you down and see if you really are as delightful in real life as you are in my dreams."

"What?" Christy asked, trying to make sense of that, but the alarm woke her ending her dream. She slammed her hand down on the damn thing and shut it off. "Waking up?" Did that mean her dream was going to leave her now?

Christy's alarm shouldn't have even been set. She wasn't supposed to work today. She cursed herself for waking up as she lay back down and tried to fall asleep again. Maybe if she thought about nothing but Emma when she finally did she'd get the dream back. She'd done that before when she was little with other dreams she liked.

She stared up at the ceiling, too tense to sleep and cursed the tears in her eyes over such a stupid thing. She'd fall asleep again that night and Emma would be there. A dream didn't just announce they wouldn't be back. It didn't work that way.

It felt like she'd lost a real friend.

………………


	10. Complications 2 Part 2

500 Miles

Complications II

By Princess Alexandria

SEVEN YEARS AFTER NEW YORK

……………..

"Hey if it isn't the Queen of the Internet." Phil teased her as she stepped into the break room. He held up the magazine that came up with that little nickname after she'd granted them an interview.

"Yeah, stuff it or I'll take my crown and put it where the sun don't shine."

"Kinky." He smirked at her. "So… how does it feel to be famous?"

"You did this to me on purpose didn't you? You talked the reporter into wanting to focus on just me and not all three of us just so you could tease me about it later."

"No, your story was just more interesting. Starting a business on the heels of a breakup with a lesbian lover, working while finishing school," His voice became more regretful. "Being attacked in the parking lot and then turning around to sponsor women's self defense classes for all the women around this office." He shook his head and Christy just sighed. Maybe she'd been too candid in the interview. "I just got a call from Steven asking if I wanted a job after I finished my degree and I took it. Hardly interesting."

"How are you feeling about the gay thing being out there?"

"We'll survive. It wasn't your fault she did her homework. I thought you handled it pretty well."

"But it will affect us won't it?"

"Just more bigots we wouldn't want as customers anyhow."

"Steven agrees with that?" She hadn't talked to Steven since the magazine came out, but most likely she'd hear from him today. Phil and Steven were closer so she usually asked Phil something to gauge how the phone call would go.

"Steven's a little worried, but this will blow over and we'll be standing stronger than ever. I even got a few calls because one of the Realities three is gay, so you may bring in business just for loving the ladies. I don't get that, but hey it works for us." He looked her in the eyes. "We screened customers with that other thing in mind. Bigots tend to be bigots universally. I think our client base is among the best in the world. We hand picked them." His eyes took on a mischievous glint. "We could rename ourselves Tolerance and Acceptance Internet. T&A Net."

"The Internet has enough T & A on it as is." She wiggled her eyebrows. "And please don't let the others hear you talk like that. The last guy I fired for sexual harassment was enough for me."

"I know." The teasing air was gone. "How's class?"

"Doing okay. I could probably kick his ass if I had to do it all over again."

"You would have been able to do that after two months. You've been at it two years, solidly."

Christy just gave him a small smile. She did feel safer.

…………..

"I found Emma." Steven told her after they'd discussed the interview. "She's going to a conference on women in business. The one you told me you didn't want to go to."

"How's she look?" Her in control, commanding voice faded to a softer voice she used when it was personal business. She barely noticed herself doing it. "Is she doing okay?"

"She congratulated us on the business. Said she heard good things." He paused. "And you know she looked good. So you wanna change your mind and represent us?"

"Damn it." Christy sighed. She hated these things. "Sign me up."

"Okay. You better order more business cards."

"Don't worry, I'll play at sales." She didn't have Phil or Steven's knack for sales, but this convention was partly a chance to make connections, and it wasn't like the guys could go and fit in.

"Christy, its been years." Steven started. "You can tell me now, were you and Emma dating in college? I mean you did spend a lot of time with her and Max may have been an ass, but now I kind of wonder."

Christy sighed. "No, we weren't. And before you ask I didn't even like Astrid."

"Okay if you're sure."

"I think I'd remember sleeping with someone like Emma Frost." For the rest of her life, she would have treasured it.

"I bet anyone would. You didn't see her last week. Time has only made her hotter." He had a hint of a lecherous boy in his voice. "Want me to see if she needs a roommate again?"

"Shut up." She shook her head. "Just fax me that damned registration form."

"Don't forget who's been with you all these years, who helped drag you up to the newsworthy business woman you are today… so if you get lucky on this trip I deserve at least some details."

"You're a pig Steven. Hard to believe I used to think you were a gentleman." She just smiled and shook her head. "I need to go terrorize the techies. Talk to ya later."

………………….

"Christine Taylor." She told the woman at the check in desk.

The older woman looked at the list and then checked her off. "Here is your packet, and nametag."

"Great, nametags." Christy muttered as she stepped away from the desk.

"I know." Some random woman started talking to her. "I hate how I get holes in my clothes." The brunette smiled at her. "I'm Stephanie Christensen." The woman pulled her nametag into sight. "Of Comptrex. We manufacture a few different computer components."

Christy kept her discomfort at this sort of thing hidden. "Christy Taylor from Altered Realities."

"I heard about that company." Stephanie studied her. "You were interviewed lately, I thought I recognized you."

"Great, now I'm famous." She gave an embarrassed smile. "I knew I should have locked myself in the bathroom when the reporter came in."

"You took a big risk in that interview. Were your stockholders upset?" Christy swore she heard some condemnation in the woman's voice now. Great. This wasn't what she came here to talk about.

"We have a good service, so I'm not worried." She felt like a politician. What she wanted to do was just walk away.

"Still, some people may have reservations about working with a lesbian."

Christy stood a little taller. "Yes, well I have reservations about working with bigots so I think it all will work out in the end."

"Aren't you at all afraid of losing clients?"

"No." Christy answered as if the question were stupid.

"I would hardly think you'd need to worry." A cool and strangely familiar voice behind her entered the conversation. "Altered Realities, and a rather interesting choice for a name Christy, has the reputation to withstand a little mudslinging." Christy turned to see a blonde in a white business suit smirking at her.

"Emma."

"Emma Frost?" Stephanie tried to integrate herself into this conversation as well and Christy shared a look with Emma. It was like it hadn't been eight years.

"Excuse me…" Emma glanced at Christy.

"Stephanie." Christy supplied.

"Stephanie. I need to borrow Christy."

"I didn't realize that Altered was working with Frost Enterprises." Stephanie continued to annoy her.

"We aren't." Christy started, but Emma interrupted her.

"Yet." They left a stunned looking Stephanie in the lobby as Christy and Emma headed to a more vacant area to talk.

"Thank you for the save." Christy glanced back at the woman.

"She wasn't your friend. I would imagine Comptrex wants to pull some of your clients away from you. They're starting to branch out into your territory."

"And I probably should have known that?" Christy shook her head.

"No, I have a good information gathering system. Don't feel too bad."

"God Emma, it's been years." Christy took in Emma's well put together look. "You look great."

"So do you. You look like you've recovered." Emma looked into her eyes. "Have you? Any lingering problems? I was a mere novice then."

"I still know Psychology too well." Christy glanced around before taking the leap. "Do you want to have dinner?" There were things that just took longer to say.

"And skip the after opening ceremony polite chit chat with people that would like to stab me in the back. Why that sounds lovely."

"I'm sorry I didn't call you." Christy looked down. She'd always regretted losing contact. "By the time I tried you'd moved."

"It was a rather eventful time for me." Emma's voice softened. "And I tried to call you too, a few times, but I think you probably didn't get the messages. Michelle didn't seem to want to forward a message without a full description of how I knew you." Christy just clenched her teeth and shook her head. Yet another reason to be pissed at her ex. "I heard, or actually read, what happened dear. I'm sorry it turned out to be true."

"Yeah me too." Christy moved to stare out at the other women with Emma as they waited for the doors to open so they could get seated. "I tried to call you that night I talked to Steven. In a way you got me where I am today. I was asking him if he'd seen you and he told me about his business plan."

"That part was left out of the interview."

"Well the gay thing was already out there. The reporter came out and asked me about that. She'd found out about my time in the college gay and lesbian group and well." Christy looked back into the ice blue eyes her double had always been fascinated with. "I know you had a tough time with the teasing in college. I decided to spare you going through that again."

"I've grown a bit since college. I won't get upset and lash out if people think I'm a lesbian."

"Oh well good, since you're spending time with me and we're in a convention full of gossips." Christy glanced at the small group looking their way. "I've just become the lesbian businesswoman of the month after all."

The doors opened. "I have to work out a business deal with someone." Emma moved away from the wall. "And since we'll be skipping out early, I need to make sure I sit near them. Meet me in the lobby at eight?"

"I'll be there." Christy put her hand in her pocket and felt the pile of business cards she brought with her. On her own she made her way to another table and did her explanations of what Altered Realities was for other people waiting for the conference to start. She shook hands and took cards and kept one eye on how at ease and confident Emma appeared in this environment, while Christy felt like she'd love to go back to her computer and away from this phony end of the business.

………………

"I thought you were going to be a teacher." Christy grinned at her dinner companion. "Not a corporate shark."

"What I can't be both?" Emma's grin was wicked, sexy, "But actually I do run a school for young mutants. Teenagers are trying, but I will manage to educate them despite their protests."

Christy's eyebrow rose a little as she thought of Emma trying to be both a CEO and a teacher. She didn't see how that was possible, Christy couldn't handle two jobs like that. "A school for mutants." She glanced around and noticed they strangely were given no attention whatsoever. Normally Christy knew at least one person would have to be looking at Emma, even in college Emma turned heads and she was even prettier now. She forgot what she was going to say and looked around again. "You've gotten more powerful haven't you?"

"Well, I have practiced." Emma took a sip of her wine. "Keeping our conversation private is hardly a chore."

"Now." Christy smiled just a little. "I remember a girl that couldn't always focus enough to pick only one person to read." Her smile faded. "At least one of us developed, I'm still doing nothing more than pulling in power to make my eyes glow. It doesn't even help me see in the dark, I tried."

"But you still do it, even if it does nothing for you?"

Christy started to use her fork to search out an olive in her salad. "I don't know. It was stupid of me to complain, it isn't like the powers are all that incredibly useful. It just helps me relax." Emma's small smile showed the blonde knew better, "Well, afterwards I'm relaxed." Christy gave Emma a wicked grin before putting the fork in her mouth. "You have the useful power though." She finished after swallowing.

"Well, I have found a few uses for it."

"So, a teacher?" Christy spoke after a moment. "Been doing that long?" Emma had said she wanted to teach, it was nice to know she got to.

"A few years." Emma's eyes seemed to harden just a little. "I had another class, but they died a few years ago."

Christy stopped breathing for a moment, her fork only halfway to her mouth. Emma sounded just like the dream, and the death of an entire class wasn't common. Christy had thought she was cruel to even imagine that happening to Emma. "Did one of them have lavender hair?" She spoke quietly, remembering the photo on the fireplace mantel.

Emma looked at her, seemed to be trying to look into her. The touch of Emma's mind bumped up against Christy's shield, but Christy didn't lower it. She found herself replaying conversations in her mind, they were dreams, weren't they? "Sharon, Catseye was her codename. She could become a large lavender cat. She was so playful and innocent." Emma spoke slowly and Christy found the blonde's intelligent eyes staring at her intensely.

"Red and black outfits."

"Uniforms." All thoughts of eating or drinking were gone as Emma seemed to be watching her. "Christy?"

"It can't…" Christy found her eyes roaming over the table, at the nearly done plate in front of her and the only half eaten plate in front of Emma. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. "She always said I was an illusion, a dream." She stared at Emma. "Do you remember anything?"

"Anything of what? Personally I'm more than a little intrigued as to how you seem to be remembering things you shouldn't know."

Her face had to be pale, she felt like it had lost some color. "Your coma. Did you remember anything about your coma?" If Christy had Emma's attention before, she had a feeling no one else existed to the blonde now. "You were out about a year weren't you?"

"I think perhaps its time for me to pay the check." Emma waved for the waiter. "We obviously have a great deal to discuss." If Christy weren't so deep in thought she might have offered to pay, but she was still recalling all the hints, the clues, that she'd ignored. It never was a dream.

Emma's stride was a little long for Christy to keep up with, but she did. They'd picked a restaurant within walking distance of the hotel. "I thought I was crazy, dreaming about you so often." Christy spoke softly. "And you kept saying I was the illusion, I was the dream."

Emma stopped with her at a crosswalk and at this hour they had it to themselves. "You're saying that you were able to get into my mind when I was in a coma?"

"Do you remember any of it?" Christy found herself hoping. Emma had told her she probably wouldn't, but then this wasn't a normal coma was it?

The light changed and they started to make their way across the street and to the hotel. "I have vague memories of dreams, visions. My students…"

"Blaming you." Christy got a sharp look when she finished that sentence. She decided to stay quiet for now. They finished their walk to the hotel in silence.

"So," Emma stopped in front of the elevators. "Your room or mine?" A slight smile showed Emma was teasing her and from her glance at the third woman waiting for the elevator this was a game. The tension was fading.

"Mine." Christy took the few steps and hit the button for up. "After all the times we did it in your room, it just seems fair." The three of them stepped into the elevator.

"Yes, my roommate did make sneaking you up into my room easy didn't she?" Emma made it sound like they'd done more than stay in the same room and Christy felt herself smiling. Emma really didn't worry about being called gay anymore. "College really was an adventure with you around."

"It's not like I could control myself around you very often." Christy paused as the elevator stopped at a lower level and the other woman got out, after giving them an odd look. She laughed after the door closed. "You've gotten wicked in your old age Emma."

"Oh that was harmless fun, and I'm hardly old. I do remember you're three years older dear, that's a lifelong condition." Emma smiled, but then she took a deep breath. Her voice was more serious. "There were complications when I separated the two of you weren't there?"

"A few. Sometimes it doesn't feel like she's completely gone. I pick up some skills a little faster than normal." Christy thought about how impressed her martial arts teacher was with her progress and how it felt like she was learning Psychology, something she knew her double left behind in her.

"I'm going to need into your mind." The blonde stepped out when they reached their floor. "I want to know why we ended up spending so much time together, when even awake I shouldn't have been able to contact you that far away."

"Okay." Christy opened her hotel room door and held it open for Emma. "It isn't like you haven't been there before." She spoke more quietly, more to herself. Letting a telepath in was a little scary. The last time Emma had just been helping her with her shields, this time Emma would be taking a look around.

The brush against her shield made her sigh. Christy sat down on the bed and lowered the shield just a little, trying not to bring it down more than was needed, because she didn't need the added embarrassment that might bring. She felt warmth and tickling in her mind, but other than that she wouldn't have known Emma was doing anything.

Christy stayed quiet so Emma could concentrate on whatever she was doing. After a while she wished she'd turned the radio on at least. With no music and nothing else interesting to look at Christy found herself studying Emma.

Emma had a far off look in her eyes. Christy took in the blonde hair and the slightly shorter cut. The pantsuit was tailored, fashionable and white. Christy's eyes traveled back to the ice blue of Emma's, even though Emma seemed to not see her. They were always her double's favorite feature on Emma, that was clear by how often that Christy saw her lover in those eyes. They were pretty. Emma was beautiful and sat with such confidence. Even as a teenager Emma had confidence that seemed a little beyond her years, but now it was clear this woman was in control. Did anything fluster her?

Emma had accepted their connection during the coma rather easily. Did she remember any of their talks? Did she remember comforting Christy after bad days or sharing stories about her own business dealings while helping Christy figure out what to do? Did Emma remember she was the one that told Christy to hire security, to trust her instincts? Emma's advice saved her life.

Christy had missed her when she went away. She'd tried to get the dream back a few times. She missed having a friend like that, because while Steven and Phil were friends it wasn't the same. Christy didn't really have any female friends, and her connection to Emma was as intimate as any she'd ever had, Michelle included. Could she have that back?

"I see no reason for us to drift apart again Christy." Emma spoke softly. "And I value your friendship too." The blonde rested a hand on Christy's arm. Her tone became more businesslike. "As for what I'm seeing in your mind. I'm going to need to consult with someone else, because after having seen as many minds as I have, I can still say you are unique. That shield of yours is something very uniquely yours."

"Okay." Christy sighed. No easy answers, well that was par for the course for them.

"The issues you've had with remembering things that you didn't experience and with the skills and knowledge you picked up are actually not my fault, they're hers." Emma sighed and kicked off her heels before moving to sit Indian style on the bed. "You had a teacher in your head and from what I saw, and what we both know of her, she was once again trying to leave you something to help you out. Since she was teaching Psychology you were her primary student. As for fighting, she mentally rehearsed moves didn't she?"

Christy thought about the times her double had nothing to do. That Christy would sit and remember her world, her best friends training her to fight or use the shape shifting powers she no longer had, and some embarrassingly personal moments with her Emma.

"So it wasn't the split, I just picked this up from her naturally?" Well as natural as a situation like that became.

"Yes," Emma pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear. "But she can't leave personality traits behind, just skills and memories." Emma spoke softly and Christy felt her body relax.

"Okay." Christy's own shoes joined Emma's on the floor and she turned to face the other woman on the bed. "But what about…"

"That is where I need a second opinion. I think I've seen something like this before, but I don't want to speculate just yet." Emma's voice was a little harsher, tenser. It didn't help Christy relax. In fact she became concerned about this connection they shared, and she hadn't been before.

"Do you remember me?"

Emma gave her a soft smile. "I do now. I borrowed your memories of us. It's really quite surprising how much I can get up to during a coma. I had no idea."

"You always were an over achiever." Christy smiled a little shyly back. Borrowing those memories seemed really intimate, but Emma had a right to them.

…………….

Christy hated conferences. She'd known that before and as she stood with a group of women talking about the glass ceiling, which she didn't have problems with. She knew that the only thing valuable about this long weekend was Emma.

"Women are going about this all wrong." Emma spoke coolly from her place in the circle of estrogen. "If they stopped worrying about being equal to men and just realized that they were superior things might improve. So your boss is leering at you, use it. Men are so easy to manipulate if you take the time to learn how."

Christy smirked as that got a shocked silence for a moment. Emma sure had changed, but it was funny. She decided to play too. "Oh I know. I've learned to wear lower cut shirts to our partner meetings, and I've had no problems getting funding for my departments." She'd only done that once as a joke, but it had worked.

"But… but…" One slightly older and less than attractive woman complained. "How are we supposed to get me to take us seriously if we dress like harlots…" harlots? That woman read too many romance novels. She wasn't fooling anyone. "just to get what men get?"

"Actually, I got the lion's share of the budget allocations that time." Christy didn't let it go. She shared a mischievous grin with Emma and sat back in her seat.

"It's a woman's power. We have what they want and even if we aren't going to be trading in it… they know it." Emma spoke as if this group of ten women were her class. "Men are the inferior ones, because they are a slave to their sex drive and we can control that, manipulate that."

The other women were a little distant with Christy and Emma after that. As they walked out of the small group discussion Christy leaned closer to Emma. "I don't think they liked that."

"Oh you noticed?" Emma's barely there smile was cute. "So many women don't like to admit that they do actually get power by the mere fact they are women. They don't use it and frown on other people using it."

"I only dressed like that once. It was a meeting on Halloween." Christy blushed as she remembered the incredibly revealing outfit.

"And?" Emma held open the door for her.

"It was power." Christy had to admit it. She'd thought they were just joking, but Emma actually believed this. Stranger still she was getting Christy to believe it a little too. Christy had seen the look in her partners' eyes and she'd played it up when they started talking about budget allocations.

"See dear. Men are easy to overcome if you use the right weapon." They stepped into yet another small group discussion about something or other. At this point Christy was just going where Emma did. She didn't care for any of the choices of talks planned for this morning.

………..

The conference was ending way too soon. It was the most fun Christy had at a boring conference and Emma had introduced her to enough people and helped her get contacts to make Steven happy.

There was one more thing she'd come here to do. Christy sighed and imagined the less than stellar response this would get as she stepped closer to the circle of people around Emma. In an experiment she lowered her shield and thought loudly. Emma. The slight wince Emma had as she did that made Christy grimace.

Too loud dear. Emma sent back while nodding and seeming to listen to a woman dressed in a blue dress suit. What is it?

Can you come by my room when you're done here?

Okay. I'll just be a little longer. Emma started to talk to the other woman and Christy was impressed with Emma's ability to multitask. Christy turned to go pack for the trip home.

Christy folded her clothes and put them back in the suitcases. She also changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She was more comfortable dressed like that than as a businesswoman. At work she only had to dress up when she was going to be dragged along on a sale.

She sat down on the bed and caressed the cover of the other journal she'd kept custody of for so many years. In all that time she'd respected her double's wishes and kept it closed. This one was for Emma.

Her own journal had been right more than it had been wrong. Christy's stock tips were generally correct. The comments about her personal life were less and less so as her life moved away from the one her double must have had.

When she heard the knock on the door Christy quickly tucked the journal under the pillow. She didn't want to lead with that, since Emma had dumped it the last time she saw it. Christy didn't want to be digging it out of the garbage again. She glanced at the can in her room to make sure nothing was in it just in case, before she opened the door.

"Hey." She smiled and stepped out of the way for Emma to come in. When Christy saw Stephanie walking past and giving her an odd look she just ignored it.

"I was serious about seeing if there was a project I could hire you for." Emma moved to sit at the table, instead of the bed. Since she was wearing a skirt it was probably more comfortable.

"I know I'd love it if you did." No point overselling to Emma.

"I'll get the details to you later." Emma sat back in her chair with a sigh. "So shall we do this now? I did get a glimpse of why you wanted me here."

Christy was a little taken aback by the comment. She wasn't used to people knowing what she hadn't told them. "I still have your journal." Emma didn't look surprised. "Mine is well… the global stuff is pretty accurate. I made a lot of money using it to make business decisions and buy stocks. The personal stuff is a little hit and miss." Christy didn't get up to get it just yet. She wanted to gauge Emma's reaction better first. "It's only good for a couple more years. She wasn't that much older than me now when she came through." Emma had lost most of the advice's value already.

Emma didn't pace, she just sat still, thinking. It was a different reaction than the last time. Christy spoke more softly, "I don't know what's in your book, but I know that I have to start shifting my investments around. A lot of popular stocks are going to crash in about three months and if I didn't know it I could lose everything I've work for. You should at least check and see if she talked about stocks in your journal. If not I'll let you borrow mine."

Emma sighed, and she looked pretty tired suddenly. "I've learned some hard lessons since the last time we had this discussion. I'd like to see the journal."

Christy got up and moved to get it from it's hiding place. Christy didn't turn around as she said this last bit. "She loved you and I know she really hoped you'd take this." Christy turned to face Emma, with the journal in her hands. "I'm glad you changed your mind. It's hard to read some of the things she writes, but…" Christy reached out and handed the journal over. "If you need to talk about it, you can talk to me."

"Christy." Emma ran a finger over the cover, but wasn't opening it. "Thank you." The telepath glanced at the clock. "You need to check out don't you?"

"Yes. I have a flight in two hours." Christy felt a little like she was abandoning Emma with what was bound to be a painful book to read. "I should go now." Emma was rather still. "When are you leaving?"

"I arranged to stay an extra day so that I could do some shopping." Emma stood up.

"I can change my flight." Christy was already thinking of what she might need to reschedule to do that and she didn't think anything would suffer for it.

"There's no need. I'm sure that I could just curl up with an old book tonight." Emma stood up with the journal in hand.

"If you're sure." Christy reached down to pick up her luggage, but she stopped herself and took a step closer to Emma. "It really was good to see you again." The hug was slightly awkward, but it still felt good. Christy pulled away with a heavy sigh. "Let's not wait eight years to see each other again." A contract with Frost Enterprises didn't guarantee that Emma would ever need to talk to Christy again.

"I don't intend to."

……………….

Christy watched the news as she ate her breakfast. It was always fascinating to watch things she'd been warned about play out and the news was filled with reporters discussing the recent financial shock as stocks thought to be strong plunged in value practically overnight. Her own portfolio was safe. She'd managed to get out with some time to spare, enough time that it shouldn't be too suspicious. She didn't really consider the journal she had as insider trading.

The phone rang, a rare occurrence. "Hello?"

"I should thank you for not giving up." Emma's cool voice filled Christy's ear. "If I'd been hit I would have lost everything and that includes the school. I was heavily invested in all of those stocks."

"She wrote the journal." Christy didn't want to take credit for her double's work.

"Don't sell yourself short dear. Your timing was impeccable. She may have written the words, but you made sure I read them." Emma paused for just a moment. "Do you feel like visiting Boston?"

"If you're in town over the weekend we could go to this lovely play that I have tickets for."

Christy felt a small spark of anticipation at the idea of having actual exciting plans for the weekend. To drop everything and visit a friend across the country would be beyond impulsive in comparison to the rest of her life. "I'd love to." She smiled.

…………..

"Is that her?" Christy heard young voices behind her as she was arranging to change her return flight to a window seat. Her plane had actually landed early.

"What would a friend of Ms. Frost's look like?" Another young voice spoke more quietly as Christy stepped away from the desk and hide a smile as she watched the group of teenagers looking around for her in the crowd and completely missing she was behind them.

"I don't know. Maybe she's dressed all…"

"Jubilee!" The blonde girl sounded southern and didn't seem to want the Asian girl to finish that sentence. "We don't know how Ms. Frost knows Ms. Taylor."

"College." Christy smiled at the way the group of two girls and boy with grey skin all spun around quickly, almost like a little dance. Her trained eye noticed the battle readiness in their stances, before they relaxed. "I met Emma in college." It wasn't her college, and it didn't capture the strangeness of it, but it was the right answer.

"Oh." The blonde stepped forward. "I'm Paige and this is Jubilee and Angelo. Ms. Frost had a call and couldn't come to get you herself." The rigid stance and overly polite behavior made Christy think of a tense business meeting.

"She didn't tell us the chica was so pretty." She heard the boy whispering to Jubilee and had to pretend to not hear it. It wasn't meant for her ears.

"She's probably a super villain."

"Well." Paige spoke louder, probably trying to drown out her friends. "We have the van… well, of course we do. Do you have more luggage?"

"This is it." Christy picked up her two bags. "Let's go." A super villain?

"So, was Frosty a good student or did she cause a lot of trouble?" Jubilee asked after the silence and staring Christy got from all three kids.

"Frosty?" Christy smirked at the nickname. Emma probably didn't care for it.

"Please excuse Jubilee she doesn't know how to respect her teachers." Paige glared at Jubilee. That earned a loud pop of bubble gum as a response. These were teenagers? Christy didn't think she'd ever been so immature. She sighed and shared a glance with Angelo. Was he leering at her?

"Where's the van?" Christy asked to get them all moving again. They'd just stopped moving once they reached the parking garage.

Once they got to the van and Angelo loaded up her bags Jubilee started talking to her again. "So Frosty, was she a nerd?"

Christy took the passenger seat and thought for a moment. There was no way she'd get out of this conversation. "Emma was focused. She studied hard on everything she did. She was learning to use her telepathy, managing a full course load, all while helping me out." She gripped the door a little tighter as Angelo took a corner hard, as if this was a race. Great. These kids were going to kill her.

"Was she ugly?" Jubilee asked and Christy heard the sound of Paige hitting the tactless girl. "Or really clumsy? Gimme something."

"Jubilee! It isn't polite to badger Ms. Taylor like this." Paige finally gave up on the non verbal attempts to stop her companion. "I don't think Ms. Frost would appreciate…"

"She used to sleep cuddling her pillow." Christy interrupted Paige's tirade to pay Emma back for sending these three to get her. "It looked like she thought it was a teddy bear."

"Well that's not really anything good." Jubilee pouted. Christy turned to look at the girl again.

"She's my friend. That's the best you'll get." She shook her head.

It looked like Paige was studying her. Paige probably was wondering if she was a super villain like Jubilee suggested. How did Christy get such a bad reputation already?

They drove up to a large mansion. Christy knew Emma had a school, but to see it looking so impressive was something else. Christy didn't spend her money that way. Hers was mostly invested and she lived more modestly than she could. It was her way to dealing with the fact that her journal would eventually stop having all the answers and she'd have to manage her money herself.

Emma came out the front door and Christy just shook her head when Emma could see her. It looked like the mischievous smile on the blonde's face grew. "Her hair is not really blonde either. She's a brunette." She told the kids before opening her door. Her double had accompanied Emma to the hair salon a few times.

"We already knew that." Jubilee said with a heavy sigh as the girl got out of the van after her.

"Hey Emma." She smiled at the telepath and moved forward to hug her. Her voice fell to a whisper. "My god, I thought you liked me."

"Sorry about the children dear." Emma pulled back and smirked at her. "I had a parent I needed to talk with finally return my call. It was the best I could do." Her voice rose. "Angelo, please take Ms. Taylor's bags to her room for her."

Christy wondered if he'd be going through her underwear while he was alone with her things, but she just moved to walk along side Emma as the telepath started her way back inside. It was a little cold to talk on the driveway.

…………..

"I wish they had a place like this when I was younger." Christy muttered as she glanced into another classroom. Maybe she'd have something useful to show for all her power if they had and she'd known she actually was a mutant.

"They did have a school." Emma sighed. "You and I just weren't lucky enough to warrant an invitation."

"Isn't that typical, at least you had Astrid."

"Astrid turned out to be a problem." Emma closed the classroom door as they left. "We parted ways."

"Oh." Christy glanced at Emma. "I wish I could say sorry, but she was trouble."

"And you knew this how?" Emma stopped walking and leaned on the wall.

"Her eyes were scary when she looked at me sometimes. She hated my double and she hate me even more. She couldn't usher me out the door fast enough."

"Yes, well it turned out she was manipulating me. She was destroying my relationships so that I would only have her."

"Oh." Christy felt disgusted and angry for Emma. "That is so messed up."

"Yes, it was." Emma moved with such grace as she pushed herself off the wall. Christy found herself admiring the blonde's body for just a moment too long. "Shall we? I believe dinner is ready."

Christy was grateful to leave the dinner table. It had been a meal full of interrogations, even from the other adult at the table, Emma's co-headmaster Sean. Apparently Emma didn't bring friends home very often and it warranted a lot of prying questions about what Christy did for a living, what her mutation was, and how she'd met Emma. Rather than go into great detail she skimmed over the whole possession part of her history. Emma wasn't volunteering anything about Christy's double, so she took Emma's lead.

"This is my office." Emma opened the door and Christy followed a little more slowly. She was startled to see the fireplace. She looked over at Emma then back at familiar chairs. "Oh." Was all she got out. This was the setting for all those night time visits. Emma's school office.

"Would you like to have a seat in the real thing while I pour you a drink?"

"Sure." Christy took her heavy coat off and draped it over the back of the chair before sitting down.

Emma handed her the glass then took her normal seat. "She saved me. That crash would have ruined me." Emma's voice was tired and the seriousness of the conversation was a jarring change from the playfulness of the tour Emma took Christy on. "She wrote a lot of things." Emma took a deep drink from her own glass. "Thank you for coming to visit." Emma gave her a small smile. "I did miss you, and our little talks. It's not the same over the phone."

"Any time." Christy held her glass in her hands and studied Emma. There was more to it. Emma read things she didn't like, and it must have been bad for Christy to be able to see it. Even in the dreams they used to share Emma was more guarded than this.

"It turned out my first mistake was not taking the journal the first time she offered it." Emma stared into the fire instead of at Christy. "And from there it compounded. I could have known about the attack that killed my students, the Hellions." Christy set her glass down.

"I didn't give it to you to upset you. I'm sorry." She hadn't even considered the effect missed prophecies might have had on Emma. She hadn't realized that it would have been that bad.

"You don't need to apologize." Emma waved the apology away as she said it. "I almost lost the school and another student. The stock crash was supposed to send me begging at my sister's doorstep and she was going to go after my students to hurt me. I can't imagine why I would have gone to her for help, but I don't doubt it, not now. Not after reading all of the things that have already happened."

Christy reached across to the other chair and put her hand over Emma's. She felt guilty. She should have tried harder to reach Emma. She should have read the book so she'd know how bad it was. She should have forced Emma to take in the beginning, only she knew how upset writing it made her double. She should have realized there would be a reason for that. Her double didn't get upset easily. "I'm sorry." She spoke again, softly. Her voice filled with regret.

"You don't need to apologize." Emma seemed to shake off her melancholy. "You helped me prevent Everett's death. That is worth celebrating. That's why I asked you to visit." It seemed a forced cheer, but Christy sat back as if she believed it.

"Do you ever wonder if she made it home?" Emma asked quietly after a moment.

"All the time."

……………

Emma talked Christy into speaking to her class, which was so incredibly small Christy had heard of larger families. From the sounds of it the Paige girl might have come from one of those irresponsibly huge families. She always hated telling people how she became a co-owner of Altered Realities. It made her seem more business savvy than she really was, and she didn't dare explain about the journal, because what if it WAS insider trading?

As she was finishing her who am I and what do I actually do for a living presentation she noticed Emma lean back against the wall and cross her arms in front of her. "Christy. Just for curiosity's sake… could you explain conditioned responses to the children?"

"Well, Pavlov was one of the pioneers in Conditioned responses…" she found herself effortlessly starting a lecture in a topic she hadn't studied in seven years. Paige was of course taking notes even though this probably wouldn't be on a test.

"What about TCP/IP protocols?" Emma glanced meaningfully at Sean as she brought up a completely different topic. "What's the purpose of those?" Christy just stared at Emma for a moment, wishing she could read the telepath's mind, but the students staring at her expectantly, well except for Angelo and Jubilee who were whispering in the back, made her feel like she needed to speak.

She remembered the classes she'd taken and the way her teacher's explained this. It took her a moment to collect her thoughts, but she then went into why it was important for all computers to communicate and how much work went into creating a common language for them to do that.

When Christy wound down she saw Emma opening her mouth again. Christy grinned and stared at the woman. "I swear to god if you ask me to talk about Biology I will make you regret it. I know the kids would love to hear about how a freshman Emma Frost..."

"That won't be necessary." Emma smirked at her and played along. Christy didn't believe she had any really embarrassing stories to share. The kids laughed and Emma nodded at her. There would be no more impromptu classes.

"You do pretty well right off the cuff." Sean complimented her.

"Thanks." Christy smiled as the kids left the room. Saturday classes weren't something she'd ever had to suffer, but Emma made the kids come listen to Christy. It seemed like cruel punishment for something the kids must have done. At least it wasn't morning.

Once he left Emma moved to sit on the desk next to the one Christy was sitting on. "You had to think a little longer before talking about computers."

"I noticed."

"But you were doing the exact same thing each time, remembering a class that had been taught. It's just that the one she had playing in your mind was easier to access."

"How did you…" Christy's eyebrows drew together as she stared at Emma. She hadn't lowered her shield.

"There's a door in your shield. I didn't notice it before, I didn't have the experience to years ago, but it's there and it's opened to me." Emma's mental touch caressed her shield. Christy liked how it felt. "Monet couldn't get in. I watched her trying." Christy heard the rest even though Emma didn't speak. This is most likely another change that is due to her being in you. She said she had a link to her Emma and this looks like the beginning of a link to me.

"Oh my god." Christy stared at the desk Emma sat on as she tried to process that.

"I think we found how we were able to communicate when I was in a coma."

"Did you know about this during the conference?"

"I suspected, but I had to do some research on similar links." Emma grimaced just a little. "There were a few things that Christy neglected to mention about her link to her lover, but one thing is that it increases my telepathic range when it comes to you."

"And the others?"

"Won't be important, because we won't let the link grow anymore than it has."

Christy went quiet as she considered yet another thing her double did to her. The nightmares she got from that woman bothered her, the knowledge she ended up with just from being in her mind, she had mixed feelings about that too. Christy wasn't sure what to think of this. The year she had the dreams, she thought she was mad, but she was happy to. She liked having Emma to talk to. What would this cost her though? Everything her double did came with a price. The time away from her lover destroyed her relationship. The journal helped her get a business and money but she doubted her ability to do it on her own and made her feel guilty when people talked about her success. This link… would it drive away the only really personal friend Christy had?

"Okay." She spoke softly. There was nothing she could do about this, and if she were honest about it, she didn't mind Emma being able to get in. She trusted her enough for that. It wasn't like her mind held deep dark secrets. Her life was dull and hardly worth browsing.

"Okay." Emma repeated her word. It felt more like a promise to not let it be a problem. Christy took it that way. "We have a play to dress for. I was thinking we could go to this nice little restaurant in town beforehand as well."

"I better get going then. I still need a shower from that jog you felt like taking in the cold."

"You didn't have to join me." Emma smirked at her.

"Right, after you accused me of being a desk jockey?" Christy felt some of the tension ease out of her shoulders as she held the door opened for Emma. "Give me thirty minutes and I'll be ready."

……………………..

EIGHT YEARS AFTER NEW YORK

…………………

"I looked at the web pages you created." Christy spoke into the camera and watched the monitor as she did it. "For the most part you did a good job, but I sent you each a revised copy of what you did. Angelo, would you mind if I shared yours?" The students were all a little tired looking, but she didn't have a lot of sympathy for them. For them it was nine, she was up at six to teach before going to her regular job. The students couldn't see it, but she was still wearing her pajama bottoms. Her mornings consisted of rolling out of bed, brushing her hair and turning on the computer. After class she'd shower, eat, dress, everything else. Then she'd get to work by nine.

"Angelo had a good idea here." She continued to highlight what the boy did right so the others could learn from it. She smiled just a little at the proud way he sat in his chair as she did it.

"Christy." Emma stepped into view as the students were filing out of the room. "Can we talk for a moment?" From behind Emma she could see a few eyes glance Emma's way before leaving. Something was off, there was no speculation in those eyes. The kids looked a little more than just tired, they looked depressed.

"Sure." Christy noticed Emma waited until she was alone in the classroom before talking into the camera.

"You've been doing a great job helping out with classes. I really appreciate it." Christy just nodded. Emma was on a role so interrupting her didn't seem necessary. When Emma called her and told her that Sean needed to lessen his class load because of a sick loved one she'd agreed to teach. Working out the how took a little longer than actually convincing her and she'd liked helping out.

"Moira died." Emma finally got to the point. Christy felt a wave of sympathy for the normally friendly and upbeat man. "Sean is still here, but he's in no condition to teach or anything else really. He's a wreck and he told me yesterday that he's going to be leaving. I can't run this school by myself."

"Are you shutting down?" Christy was stunned. Emma loved teaching and she loved the school.

"No. What I need is to find at least one more full time teacher. The other guest lecturers all have other commitments they can't or won't get out of." Emma sat down on a desk and seemed to stare into Christy's eyes. "I need your help. He's leaving at the end of the week, and we're only halfway through the school year."

"You want me to move to Massachusetts?" Her voice got a little higher with her surprise. Emma wanted her to become a teacher. "But my business…"

"Can you work from here? Like you're doing for your classes now?"

Christy felt like saying no. It would be hard to work out how she could manage it all, but then she remembered a young girl staying up late and getting up early so that she'd have enough hours in the day to learn how to help Christy. She owed Emma, she owed her big. "Let me talk to my partners and get back to you." Christy had to at least try to work this out.

It wasn't like she didn't like teaching.

………………..

"Look." Her voice raised a little in frustration when the guys started to ramble and panic when she told them she needed so much time off. "I can still do some work from there. I can do teleconferences." She waved at the monitor that held Steven's face. "I can process reports. I work from home sometimes, it will be the same thing but only for longer. If I have to I can fly back once a month for a few days." She sighed. "I owe her."

"You owe her?" Steven asked, but he didn't sound as tense.

Christy couldn't give them details. "Those months I stayed with her in college. My life was hell and she helped me straighten it out. I'm going. That isn't up for debate. I'm here to ask you guys to help me figure out how I can do this." Once again she found herself moved by how willing her partners were to stand by her. They made suggestions and bounced ideas back and forth and in two hours they had a plan.

Christy promoted someone into the position of division supervisor, something that was once her responsibility. A shuffling of personnel and she was freed up almost completely. It wasn't a comfortable feeling to walk away from the business she'd spent almost all of her time on for nearly ten years. It would have probably felt less uncomfortable to leave her thumb behind than her office.

……………

Emma came to pick her up from the airport in a limo. Christy let the driver help her with the bags, several bags. "Thank you for coming." Emma spoke softly to her as they waited for her driver to pull away from the airport.

"I hope you don't end up regretting inviting me." Christy gave Emma a weak smile.

"Not possible."

Emma led Christy into the school and into the office across from her own. The walls looked empty, but it had a desk and a layout similar but smaller than Emma's. "This is your office." It didn't have rows of monitors and the hum of several computers in it, but it had a large fireplace and a view of woods on the property. "We can alternate our time off to tend to our businesses." Emma looked into Christy's eyes. "I really think we can make this work."

"I'm sure we can." Christy gave Emma a soft smile as she felt the warmth of Emma's mind brushing against her own.


	11. Complications 2 Part 3

500 Miles

Complications II

By Princess Alexandria

"Well, I graded their tests." Christy swept into Emma's office and sat down with a sigh in front of Emma's desk. "Why I got a margin full of doodles on Jubilee's paper is a mystery, but I now know that she likes wolves and likes to draw people about to get an anvil to the head. We should limit her cartoon watching time."

"How did they do?" Emma set her own pen down and gave Christy her full attention. It was nice to be able to walk right in and talk to Emma for a change.

"Pretty good. Paige works too hard and writes too much for every answer and Angelo is the king of conciseness. Jubilee rambles off topic, but still gets all the main points…"

"So you seem to be getting pretty much what I do." Emma waved a hand at her papers. She picked up one thicker report. "I try to explain to Paige that more is not necessarily better, but she has yet to listen."

"What's that on?" Christy eyed the grading nightmare, glad it wasn't hers.

"Business." Emma sighed. If Christy got a report that large from an employee she would have sent it back. She didn't have time to read filler.

"Why don't you make her edit it?" Christy reached out to take the report from Emma's hands. "I would." She glanced at the report with Monet's name on it and it was not nearly this size. That girl always fulfilled all the requirements. "Tell her you won't grade this, just like if she was working for you, you wouldn't read it." Christy flipped through the pages of over explained paragraphs and then closed it with a sigh. "If this was a proposal I'd just say no."

"You seem rather upset about my workload." Emma chuckled.

"I assigned a report today and I don't want one of these." Christy shook the offending report.

"Paige is probably in the library right now." Emma took the report back. "Maybe you should talk to her. You might have better luck."

Christy got up and moved to the door a little faster than normal and she just grinned at Emma's laughing at her. She was going to stop that girl. First she went to her office and called Altered Realities. The fax machine hummed for a while before she grabbed the pile of papers and headed out the door.

"Paige?" Christy noticed the blonde girl's head over a book. A glance at the page showed that Paige was already working on the report for her class.

"Yes Ms. Taylor?"

"You like extra assignments don't you?" She sat down across from Paige and watched the curious expression in her eyes. "Do you think you have some time to help me out? I've been having a problem with my employees."

"This is for Altered Realities?" Paige sat up straighter. "How can I help?" It was no secret Paige was interested in business.

Christy hid a grin and set the two example reports she'd had faxed over on the table. "All CEO's have limited time to read reports. Mine is more limited than others." She held up the much larger report first. "My division supervisor sent me this." She waited until Paige had a moment to flip through the pages, before looking up with a confused expression on her face. "It's too big. If I sent that on to my partners they wouldn't read it and I wouldn't get the things she's asking for. I can't take the time to edit her work every month." Christy grabbed the larger report and had a look of disgust on her face. "This isn't what we do in business. She has all the details, she outlines her reasoning, the endless pros and cons. It's too much. She worked us right out of getting what she's asking for."

"She wrote too much? But how else will you know if what she's asking for is needed?"

"I have several departments sending me reports. Several departments asking for things, giving ideas, needing money." Christy held up the other report, the much smaller one. "A report like this one is what most CEO's will pick up first to read. I can take care of the needs of this department quickly and time is at a premium. If I got a pile of reports like this one and then one huge one I'd read the smaller ones first, between appointments and projects and approve them. Then when I had three hours in a row to kill I might attempt to read the larger report. That would be after everything else, and if I'd already used up the budget that report wouldn't get anything, regardless of the detailed explanations." She was exaggerating a little, but she could see Paige starting to think. "What I need is for you to compare these two reports and how they go about asking for what they need. Then I need a concise report explaining to my new supervisor why she needs to redo this and how she can go about doing it."

"You want me to do that?" Paige had a slight smile on her face.

"Yes. If we don't teach her she'll never go anywhere in business, and she'll never know why."

"Oh I will do a good job of this." Paige started to pull both reports closer.

"Remember, teach by example. Your report needs to be like what I'd expect of her."

"Oh it will be Ms. Taylor. Thank you so much for this opportunity to do something real."

"No problem. I knew you were the person to go to." Christy smiled and turned to leave. "Oh, and one more thing." She turned back. She paused for a second, to make sure she had Paige's full attention. She stared into Paige's eyes. "I know you're a very smart and dedicated student. That was obvious pretty quickly. Maybe you could practice concise writing in my class and I could check it for where you could make improvements. It would be a way of killing two birds with one stone. It's not like there will be a class offered in how to write just enough, and you need to know it if you plan to go into business."

"Thank you Ms. Taylor. I'll work on that." Paige looked pretty proud of her assessment, and it was true.

"Good." Christy smiled.

Four days later she got the reports for her class back and none of them were huge. She wandered past Emma's office and waved the small report in the door. "Its okay Emma, some people have it and some don't. No shame." She teased. "I think I'll go grade Paige's report. See you in ten minutes for dinner?"

"Gloating is a sign of poor upbringing Christy."

"Yes, but my classless ass has free time and you don't." Christy laughed and turned to go grade.

……………..

Christy stood on the balcony just outside of her office and took a deep breath of the clean spring air. She stared at the peaceful looking woods surrounding the school and listened to the soft chirping of birds. This was a nice place to live.

The girl's squeal and the shouts she could hear in the distance just made her smile. She could imagine what prank or other got that sound out of Jubilee.

"Charles just called me." Emma spoke and Christy turned to see the woman standing in the doorway, watching her. "There is a young mutant he picked up with Cerebro living in New Mexico. From her readings he thinks she's quite promising. I should be leaving soon to see if we can talk her into attending here."

Something that had been bothering Christy nagged her again. She spoke softly. "Emma, if I were a teenager I would never get an invitation to this school would I?"

Emma's eyebrows drew together for just a moment and the telepath took a step out onto the balcony. "What are you talking about?"

Christy turned to look out at where Jubilee was tossing small paffs at Angelo on the grass. "I'm just a beta, my double may have been an omega, but I'm just a beta, and I don't see any beta level mutants here."

"We don't screen beta level mutants out."

"Don't you? Would the Professor have been calling with such urgency if the girl in New Mexico could change the color of her hair with a thought, or could make shadow puppets on walls without a strong light? Would he have called for someone with glow bright eyes? No," Christy sighed. "I would never have gotten an invitation to this school."

Emma moved closer and stood beside her watching the children. "That isn't right." Emma spoke with some conviction. "You would have been a lovely student."

Christy smiled just a little. "Thanks."

"You have so much potential Christy. You have more than eyes that glow. Even as a beta level mutant, you can learn to use your powers in new ways. We could work on it."

"That would be nice." Christy crossed her arms in front of her, holding out the slight chill in the morning air. "But what about the other beta level mutants? Are they not worth the money it costs to teach them because they aren't potential Xmen?"

"You heard about Chamber's invitation?"

"Yes, they're recruiting on our campus. Why would they want us to have less than hero level students if they rely on us to hand over our kids?"

Emma was quiet and Christy just waited. The warmth of the sun was starting to hit her balcony and she felt it warm her skin. "You want us to expand our recruitment efforts? If we do that our student body will grow. We'll need more teachers." It sounded like Emma was planning out loud, not like she was shooting this idea down. "I don't see why we shouldn't. It will be harder to find them, but we do need to get more students in here." Christy felt the gentle touch on her arm and turned to see such pretty blue eyes looking at her with some understanding. "You really would have been a wonderful student. We can work on getting you caught up."

"Okay." Christy reached over and squeezed the hand on her arm gently in thanks.

"I'm going to head to New Mexico now, but when I get back we can discuss how we'll recruit more students. See if you can get the ones we have to actually sit through the test I had planned for today. I left it on my desk."

"I'll take care of it." Christy turned to stare out at the beautiful sky and smiled as she heard Emma close the balcony door. She was making a difference here. It didn't take much to get Emma to lower the entrance requirements.

………………

"Look who's all relaxed and smiling." Phil's voice interrupted Christy's staring out of Steven's office window. "Tell me her name."

"What?" Christy gave him a confused look.

"You're practically glowing, and not in that mutant way of yours. It's a woman isn't it?"

"No…" Christy's thoughts instantly went to the only woman in her life right now, Emma. "No."

"So what is it?" He moved to sit at the table as they waited for Steven.

"Nothing." She tried to wave it off, but he still stared as if he didn't believe her. "Things at the school are going well. Emma's decided to expand and she's taking my recommendation. I feel like I'm really helping her and the kids."

"Yes teaching must be very fulfilling to get that glow from you." He sounded doubtful. "How is Emma?" Phil didn't even know Emma, so it seemed strange he asked after her.

"She's doing well. I have no idea how she manages everything she does, she must be the queen of delegation." Christy smirked just a little. "She's demanding, intelligent, and actually very funny. It's nice working with someone with a decent sense of humor for a change."

"Oh, wound me when I'm being nice?" Phil put his hand over his heart. "How cruel."

He sat up and gave her a more serious look. "I've also heard you describe her as beautiful and caring. Are you seeing what I do?"

"What?" Christy felt a little uncomfortable.

"That the Christy I knew wouldn't have walked away from her office for just anyone. There is a woman."

"You're full of shit." She shook her head and half laughed.

"Okay, okay." He sat up straighter. "Try this. What did you do for the weekend?"

"Well, Emma and I went to…" the movies, she thought as her words trailed off. She could see the triumph in Phil's eyes.

"Yes. Of course there is no woman making you smile like a school girl in love. It was foolish of me to think that." He said teasingly.

"Emma and I aren't dating." Christy protested a little weakly. It was a nice thought though.

Steven came in and that line of discussion ended, since their partner had his arms filled with things he wanted to discuss. Christy felt uneasy for the rest of the meeting.

…………….

Emma came in and sat down heavily in the chair in front of Christy's desk with a sigh. "Finding people that CAN teach and also are interested in teaching young mutants, without revealing what type of school we are is quite a challenge." Christy set down the glass she'd been drinking from. "I'm working on the job announcement for the two new teaching positions" Emma's voice softened. "I was hoping those were the only positions I'd have to hire for. I won't need a new computer science teacher will I?"

Christy struggled with what to say. She'd only agreed to stay for the rest of the school year, and she was well into summer term now.

She liked the kids and she wanted to see the new students come to campus and have an opportunity she'd never had.

But her partners thought she was coming back at the end of the summer.

Still, she'd been able to keep the business running from here better than she'd thought she would. Her ability to delegate was improving and she hadn't noticed her business falling apart without her.

But it was her business. She had an obligation to it.

"I don't know." She finally gave up on trying to give Emma an answer right then.

Emma clearly didn't like that answer, but after a moment the topic changed to the new students they'd enrolled. The Massachusetts academy would start out the new school year with forty students. That was a large increase and half of those students were beta level mutants. Mutants that wouldn't have gotten the invitation if Christy hadn't spoken up, she was sure.

………………

Christy woke up suddenly, her sweat soaked body flinching away from some dreamed foe. She knocked a glass off her nightstand as she rushed to fill the room with light and make sure she was alone.

With her heart hammering she stared at the darkened corners until she was convinced she was alone. She still felt the fear and after a moment she recognized Emma's mental touch. It was hardly the first time the telepath dragged Christy into her dreams. It wasn't something that happened to anyone else around here either. Christy felt the fear and couldn't leave Emma in that nightmare.

She tossed her sheets off of her and grabbed the pajamas that she rarely wore to bed, pulling the large silky shirt over her head as she made her way to the door. Her bedroom was in the same wing as Emma's so the trip down the hall took no time.

"Emma." Christy called out as she knocked. "Emma." Christy felt the wave of disorientation and the panic faded. Emma was awake. She spoke one more time, knowing Emma probably didn't know what woke her. "Emma, open the door."

She could hear the woman moving across the floor and the link between them shut down. The sight of Emma in nothing but a sheet being held up by one hand was a surprise. "Yes Christy?" Christy was staring at Emma's sleep tousled hair and her beautiful, pale shoulders. "Christy?"

"Oh." Christy shook off her distraction and looked Emma in the eye. "I'm sorry to wake you, but your nightmare was too bad. I couldn't let you sleep."

"My nightmare?" Emma asked.

"I got your emotions again." Christy sighed. They'd talked about this a few times.

"I'm sorry for waking you then." Emma's voice was a little chilly.

"I don't care about that." Christy moved just a little closer to the opened doorway. "Are you okay?"

"You might as well come in if you wish to chat." Emma turned away and Christy was surprised to see the sheet drop to the floor. The smooth line of Emma's back and the firm roundness of her rear filled Christy's vision. So beautiful. Christy hit the door so that it would close, but didn't turn away from the view.

Emma glanced over her shoulder and Christy blushed as she noticed the mischievous grin. "I tend to sleep naked. Let me see if I can find my robe."

"Don't bother." Christy managed to get some words out of her throat. She gave Emma an evil smile of her own. Emma really was a goddess.

Christy forgot to breathe for just a moment when Emma turned to face her. "Thank you." Christy blinked at Emma's words, until she realized Emma was referring to her thoughts. Emma moved like a lithe cat seeing prey as she moved closer to Christy. "I know you sleep naked as well. There was no need to get dressed to come visit me."

"Emma?" Christy felt her heart pounding as Emma leaned in closer.

"I want you to stay." Emma whispered into Christy's lips. Christy moaned as she felt the warmth of Emma's breath. "For a lesbian you really don't catch clues very well." Emma's hand caressed her side. "Stay." She whispered and leaned forward, kissing Christy.

Her mind filled with lights, her body throbbed and Christy pulled Emma tightly to her, kissing her. Yes. My goddess, she thought and it felt like she'd finally come home. This is what her double fought so hard for, and it was worth it.

……………..

NINE YEARS AFTER NEW YORK

…………………..

"Phil." Christy glanced down at the report in her hand. "I was thinking we should buy a few new servers. The ones we have are starting to get old and we could use the speed."

"Makes sense." He didn't give her any argument about the money. He never did, not when it came to equipment. They continued the meeting quickly, having gotten used to how each other think over the years made things run so smoothly.

"Okay, well I think that's everything." She stood up and smiled at Phil and Steven. "I need to get back to work." She shut down the monitors and turned to grab her notes.

As she stepped out of her office she found Emma standing in the hall. "Well, love, ready to meet the parents?"

"Not really." Christy sighed. "I could have skipped having a parent teacher night."

"Couldn't we all." Emma leaned forward and kissed her softly. If Christy's arms weren't full she would have pulled her lover in for a more passionate kiss. "Later, I promise." Emma whispered and her sexy smile was all it took to make Christy's heart race.


	12. Hellfire 1 Part 1

500 Miles

Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

The dark wood wall was what she noticed first and Christy yelped as she saw herself being tossed at it. The body in her way had her trying to twist out of the way and praying it would work just this once. It didn't work, it never did. Her body ached as she was slammed into her double and the door. The door cracked and broke. Christy landed on the floor inside of another room.

"Don't move." A cold and familiar voice had her slowly raising her head to see she wasn't going to have to hunt Emma down.

"Oh shit, wrong Emma." She muttered as she took in the clothes this double of her lover wore. Thigh high boots were accompanied by panties and a corset. A white cape and long white gloves finished the look. Christy stared up at the White Queen.

A click of a gun had her head turning to take in another familiar face, this time dressed in a black copy of Emma's outfit. "Tessa." She nodded just a little and sighed. Tessa had a gun on her.

"What do we have here?" A deep male voice had her cringing. The man that stepped closer was staring at her.

"This is Raven of the Xmen." Tessa spoke and Christy's eyes widened. An Xman? "She is so named because she has the ability to tell when people die. She also has an impenetrable psychic shield. No telepaths can read her mind."

"Sebastian, it appears our secret meeting is less than secret if the Xmen are sending their spies to us." Emma looked down at Christy with a little contempt. Christy didn't dare lower her shield when she felt the brush of a mental touch. Not now and not with this Emma.

"We may already have a spy." He squatted down in front of her and Christy moved to get away. The gun shot to the floor in front of her had her body jerk in shock.

"You shot at me." She glared at Tessa.

"You were told not to move. The next shot will get you in the leg."

"How did you find out about this meeting?" He demanded.

"I…" Christy just stared at him. She had no idea what to say.

"Speak up Xman." Emma ordered her and Christy turned to look up those long legs, it was hard not to stare. She'd only seen her lover in that outfit once, after much begging. It hadn't stayed on long.

Her voice was full of confusion. "I'm not… that is, damn." Christy sighed. "I've possessed this Raven you're talking about. I'm not her."

Emma laughed, and it wasn't a pleasant sound. She was mocking Christy with her laugh. "Oh please. If this is the best Charles can send after us I think we don't need to worry."

Two large men came in the broken door. "Take her away and lock her up in one of the rooms." Emma waved a hand for the men to grab Christy. Christy spun on her hands and kicked one man in the face as he leaned down for her. She got into a crouch and stared at Tessa, hoping she could pull this off. Christy started to run for the door, trying to get past the other man.

A black boot came into her vision a moment before Christy felt pain in her chest and another moment before she felt her back slam against the floor. "I told you not to move." Tessa kneeled right on Christy and stared down at her. "You really shouldn't have come here Raven."

Christy finally look down at her own body and she noticed she was dressed like the other women in the room, minus the cape. Tessa was staring at her when she looked back up again. That woman's eyes seemed to stare into her soul, and knowing how observant Tessa was she might actually find the little glimmer that was Christy soul. "Get up." Tessa got off of her and dragged her to her feet. This time Christy didn't fight.

The mirror caught her eye and she stared at a pale, younger, but not as young as the last body she took, version of herself. Her hair was short and wild, her muscles toned like a warrior. "I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding." She actually clung to Tessa when the men came closer. One looked pretty mad at her having kicked him.

"I think we'll continue this conversation later." Sebastian's voice held threat.

"Actually, I believe it would be better for me to interrogate her." Tessa said it so matter of factly. Christy's arms were grabbed by the men and she was held still. "Raven is more… receptive to women."

"I believe I want to be part of this interrogation Tessa." Emma spoke softly.

Sebastian laughed. "Take our pet Xmen away. We'll figure out what to do with her later."

Christy tried one more time to get away, but the men gripped her arms so hard she winced in pain and worried they'd break them if she didn't behave. She was tossed into a small room with no windows, and just a bed with one pitiful sheet laying on it.

Christy would bet money it also had a camera somewhere. She moved to the bed and sat down. She was not home. As if that wasn't bad enough she was a prisoner not five minutes after getting here. Christy felt the wave of anger and frustration grow in her chest and she screamed. Her voice echoed off the walls and her fists clenched in the effort, but no portal came. She didn't have enough left to call it.

This Christy got a shortened version of the truth. Christy muttered. "Sorry about the possession. Didn't mean to. I'll try to get out soon, but things aren't looking good."

She scooted to the middle of the bed and pulled the sheet around her. They didn't even bother to turn the heat on in here and she wasn't wearing enough to keep warm.

……………..

It was Tessa that taught her about interrogations and the value of making a person wait. Christy remembered talking with the dark haired woman about it over a fire one night. It was a lesson that even this Tessa knew apparently. Christy felt like time was crawling with every second it felt like an hour passed. She had no idea how long she sat in the cold room, curled up on herself trying to stay warm.

She did not miss having a body. Bones to break, skin to torment with the cold. At least this body didn't need a bathroom yet, because begging for a bathroom to the hidden camera wasn't her idea of a good time. There was no telling how long her luck would last though.

They were torturing her. She knew it. The room couldn't possibly actually be this cold. An air conditioner was running. She could hear the hum. What would happen if she tried to block the vent?

Christy listened carefully and got up out of her small, warm patch on the bed. She found it along the floor behind the bed. Christy grabbed one of the pillows and crammed it tight up against the vent before crawling back into the bed. Whoever was watching wouldn't like it. Maybe they'd come.

Christy curled up tight and pulled her legs to her chest, trying to stay warm. One lousy sheet was hardly protection. "If I had something to say I'd say it for a warm fire." She muttered. Mind games weren't her strong suit and she just wanted to be warm.

"And do you have anything to say?" The voice startled her and Christy looked up to see two women, one in dark and one in light and both here to torment her. Great. Tessa repeated herself. "I asked if you had anything you wanted to tell us. I have a warmer room down the hall with that nice fire you were talking about."

Christy hated to get out of the bed, but she uncurled her body reluctantly and moved to sit. Emma was leaning against the wall and Tessa stood in the doorway. "You wouldn't believe me. I don't see the point."

"Do your teammates know where you are? It's been a while and I don't see any grand rescue missions going on." Emma sighed and moved a little closer. "A fine group you decided to be loyal to."

"I have no idea. My names Demise, and I'm new here." Christy could feel the warmth of Emma's body as the woman got closer and the cape brushed against her skin. A cape would be so nice to have right now. Somehow she knew asking Emma if she could have it wouldn't work. "I travel realities tormenting my doubles from other worlds by taking over their bodies and screwing up their lives, or in this case their missions." She glared at this Emma.

Emma leaned forward. "I don't want your little ridiculous cover. I want details and I want the name of the spy in our circle you're working with."

"And I want a hug, because you're warm. I don't think I'll get that either." Christy quipped and was a little amused by the raised eyebrow that earned her. It wasn't often she managed to surprise an Emma.

"So." Tessa spoke and Christy turned her head to watch the dark haired woman. "You still claim to be someone else?"

"Yes." Christy was getting really irritated with this line of questioning and the cold air made goosebumps grow on her skin.

"If you give us something I can make sure a real blanket is brought in here. If not your contact, then perhaps when you heard about our meeting."

"I don't have anything."

"And you won't have a sheet when we leave if you don't cooperate."

The sheet at least protected her modesty. Christy's wide eyes stared at Tessa. It was poor protection, but it was something. "But I don't know anything. I just got here two seconds before being captured, and that's a record."

Emma tore the sheet from the bed and Christy just stared. Tessa took the pillow blocking the vent. Christy stood taller and told herself that she'd suffered worse, but then she'd always had the warmth of her team on cold nights.

Eventually these women would change their tactics and Christy might actually grow to miss the cold room. The door closed and she was still on the inside.

She curled up on the mattress and tried to relax. It's hard to do when cold. She swore she could see her breath occasionally when she exhaled. She worried that sleeping wasn't a good idea when she was this cold, but sleep amazingly claimed her.

………………

"Emma." Christy muttered and scooted closer to the warmth. Her eyes stayed closed and she reached an arm out to pull the warmth closer. The rustle of cloth and then the soft warmth of something resting on her had Christy opening her eyes, only to see her head was resting on someone's shoulder and a white cloak covered her. She blinked a few times and moved to rest on her arms so she could look at the woman in the bed.

"Hello." Emma smirked at her. "I'm surprised you can recognize me in your sleep, but the cuddling was a nice touch."

Christy just stared at the arrogant smile on the double of her lover's face. She didn't flinch away quickly and that earned her a slightly puzzled look for just a moment.

"It really is cold in here. I'd love to be able to take you to a warmer room and talk in front of a fire." Emma gave an exaggerated sigh. "But you force me to visit here Raven."

"I don't have anything to tell." Christy's voice got softer. "Call me Christy or Demise."

"Demise is a rather dark codename." Emma's hand came to rest under Christy's chin. "You're freezing dear. I can't take you out of this room until we get something from you. Sebastian was rather clear on that."

It was so classic good cop/bad cop that Christy almost laughed. At least Emma was playing the good cop, because it would be painful to have a woman with her lover's face hurt her. Christy's voice was tired. "What if I don't have anything to give?"

"Then you'll be staying in here a long time."

Christy just sighed heavily and looked away. Emma let her have the silence as Christy tried to think, but even thinking was hard to do when she was still shaking a little from the cold.

Her bladder also stopped having mercy on her. She shook her head a little in frustration. "I need to go to the bathroom." She didn't expect to get to go. Holding it was not going to be an option for hours.

"Well, I think we can arrange something. But you aren't being left alone."

"I don't care." Christy grimaced at the idea of being watched, but it was better than using the corner of the room. So this is what being captured was like. It was not nearly as romantic as she'd imagined in her fantasies. This was a fucked up reality.

The door opened and Tessa stood there. "I'll take you." Was all she said and Emma rolled away and took the cape off of Christy. The cold air bombarded her and Christy's body tensed. She got up and moved to Tessa's side. The warmth from the hall came in and Christy got a good look at the door. It did look a little like a refrigerator door, air tight. They'd locked her in the fridge. This room was made for torture.

Her body started to shake as she followed Tessa down the hall. She hadn't realized how very cold she'd been until it felt like she was thawing. "You really shouldn't sleep when you're that cold." Tessa spoke softly as she stopped in front of a door. "You might not wake up."

"I didn't mean to."

Tessa opened the door and held it opened. "After you." Christy just groaned at the embarrassment she was about to face. She stepped into a large bathroom. There were no stalls. The toilet sat right out in the open. Tessa closed the door and leaned against it, watching her. "Go ahead." Tessa nodded to the toilet.

"You're going to stare at me the whole time?" Christy couldn't keep the incredulity out of her voice.

"I was told you aren't allowed out of that room unless I kept my eye on you every moment. That includes now." Tessa was so matter of fact about watching her.

Christy sighed heavily and moved to the toilet. With a slight glare aimed at Tessa she looked down and did her best to lower the panties and not get them caught on the boots. "Stupid outfits." She muttered as she sat down.

"I was not too fond of them myself." Tessa spoke and Christy wished she hadn't. It was hard to pee when she was being watched. She never realized how much relaxing was involved in peeing, but she was having trouble doing it. "You get used to it."

"You can't turn around for just a second?"

"No." Tessa's answer was very definite.

Christy's head hung down as she forced herself to go. She was embarrassed by the sound of water hitting water and couldn't look at Tessa as she did this. It wasn't like in a stall, where the others were going as well.

"Is anyone coming for you?" Tessa asked.

"I have no idea."

It was hard to control her hands well enough to wipe. That was embarrassing as well. Christy washed them a long time to try and get feeling back in them. It didn't make much of a difference. She wasn't back in the cold room long before she could feel the cold seeping back into them.

……………..

The hunger was familiar. Christy found it useful, it helped keep her awake. She'd tried pacing to keep her blood moving, but now she was just too tired. She curled back up on the mattress. There was no doubt about seeing her breath anymore. It came out in white puffs. Someone had lowered the temperature even further.

"I don't know anything." She spoke loudly to whoever might be listening. She wanted to sleep so badly. Time had no meaning, but it felt like it had been a long time since she'd seen anyone. Since Tessa put her back in here. She tried to become a small ball as shivers racked her body. It wasn't long before she could barely lift her head.

"Fools." The angry voice barely registered. "What good is she if she's dead?" A fire warm hand touched her face. "Tessa, she's cold. Really cold."

"We need to warm her up gradually." A controlled, matter of fact voice spoke and Christy felt warmth touch her and pull her close.

……………..

Christy's body shook violently and she couldn't stop her teeth from chattering. It woke her up. "Perhaps you'd like to cuddle with the icicle while I stoke the fire." An irritated voice spoke almost in her ear.

"No, I believe she's expressed a preference for your hugs Emma." Christy opened her eyes to see an amused looking Tessa in front of a fire. Christy felt arms around her, pulling her tightly up against a body she knew so well.

"C…c…cold." She whimpered as she burrowed into the blonde. "Emma, I…. I… m so cold."

"I know, we'll get you warmed up."

The bed shifted and Christy felt the covers move. Another warm body pressed against her back. "Just relax." Warm breath tickled her ear. "This is perfectly normal and the shaking will stop once you are closer to the right temperature."

"I don't l… like being cold." Christy clutched Emma to her tightly. "Please, don't put me back... please." She couldn't help starting to cry. Emma did this to her. Christy couldn't even close her hand. She had next to no control of her body. She felt so helpless.

"Shh. Just rest." Emma caressed her hair.

"I don't like being cold." Christy muttered her protest again. She felt a hand caressing her hip. Emma caressed her hair and Christy buried her head into Emma's shoulder. Christy felt a little dizzy.

"Sleep. You need the rest." The hand on her hip moved in a large circle.

"Emma?"

"Yes?"

"Tessa's touching me. Is that okay?" Christy whispered. The slow caress to her hip stopped for just a moment, before continuing.

"Do you like it?"

"Will you be mad if I said yes?"

"No." Emma chuckled.

Christy hugged Emma tighter. The effort to keep her eyes open was too hard. Christy closed them. "Love you." She mouthed before falling asleep. It was too quiet to be heard.

………………….

It was warm. It was soft. Christy loved the feel of soft warm silk on her skin. She rolled over onto her side and gave a contented moan. "Emma, you wouldn't believe the dream I had." She muttered as she noticed the blonde watching her.

"Tell me." Emma's smile was slightly wicked.

"I was trapped in my portal, jumping worlds. You were actually dating Scott Summers." Christy grimaced. "So gross, like any version of you would be that stupid, I felt so bad for her." Christy tried to us her arm to rest on, but she was wobbly and uncoordinated. "Damn." Christy muttered as she found herself back on the bed completely again.

"Anything else?" Emma leaned a little closer. Christy stared at the woman's hair.

"You got a haircut?" Emma's hair rested just to her shoulders. "Looks nice." Christy's eyes then noticed the dark wood on the walls. She wasn't home. Her eyes darted to Emma again, taking in the eyes that looked at her with amusement, but not love. She wasn't home at all.

Christy tried to toss the sheets off of her. It took two tries. She was having trouble with controlling her arms well enough.

"Do be careful dear. I think you might be a tad overdosed on the happy juice." Christy turned to glare at Emma.

"What are you talking about?" She finally noticed her words were a little slurred.

"Cyclops, Emma?" An amused voice had Christy turning away from the blonde to see Tessa a moment before the dark haired woman gently pushed Christy onto her back on the bed again. "That really would be a poor match. How much did you give her to have such strange dreams?" Christy wondered vaguely why she wasn't fighting Tessa as the woman held her down on the bed.

"Just what I take, to endure these barbaric parties. I can't see an Xmen faring well during Sebastian's holiday festival. This will mellow her."

Tessa stared into Christy's eyes. "She's not used to drugs Emma. She's very high."

"She's right here." Christy protested being ignored while they talked about her. "Either kiss me or get away." She growled, hoping to embarrass Tessa enough to get her to pull away, but Tessa just smirked at her. Christy felt disconnected, like she was floating in her own body, or the body she was in. Whatever they gave her was better than the stuff she was drugged with in the last world.

"Interesting proposition. I'd recommend you keep comments like that to yourself tonight though. The others would take you up on it or more." Tessa leaned just a little closer and Christy's breath caught when she thought Tessa really was going to kiss her. "You've been invited to sit in on the twelve days of Christmas festivities. You really shouldn't have come Raven."

"One would almost think you're feeling sorry for her." Emma's voice drew Christy's head to the side to see Emma watching them.

"And you're the one that drugged her so this wouldn't be as hard on her. That's more merciful than normal for you Emma."

"It's hardly a mercy. I don't want to miss the party because I'm busy disciplining her." Emma's stare was a warning. "Raven, welcome to the Hellfire club."

Christy blinked in surprise as she felt a hand caressing her hip. She looked down to see Tessa's hand on Christy's naked flesh. "Why am I naked?"

"We needed to get you warmed up and took your outfit off." Tessa's caress continued. Christy felt her body starting to lean into it, even though she was sure she hadn't moved. "Emma, would you mind getting a new outfit for her?"

"I'd be insulted at being sent on an errand if I didn't see you were finally deciding to have some fun Tessa. You're normally so… serious."

Christy watched Emma get up and took in the pale skin, so much of it. Emma turned slightly and smirked at how Christy was hungrily watching her naked flesh. "I'll get dressed and go downstairs to see if I can find her something. Are you thinking black, or white?"

"She looked good in black."

"How about jeans?" Christy shook off the weird disconnected feeling for just a moment so she could make a suggestion. "And a t-shirt."

"No dear. You don't dress like that for a party like this. You're lucky we aren't taking you nude." Emma spoke and turned to the chair, which had her white barely there outfit laying on it. Christy turned to look at Tessa when Emma bent down, clearly for the benefit of the audience, to tease her.

"Sebastian doesn't want you left alone, unless it's in the cold room." Christy felt her body tense at that prospect. Tessa caressed her gently, the hand moving over her stomach in soothing circles that somehow didn't fail to arouse her. It had been months since she'd been touched like this, but this didn't feel right. Tessa was pretty, but she wasn't Emma, why did Christy want to just lay back and let Tessa touch her? "You'll have to come with us and behave or I'll have to put you back."

"I don't want to go back." Christy shook her head, trying to clear it. Whatever Emma gave her made it so hard to think clearly. It felt like she was walking through a dream.

"Then you'll wear what you're told and do what you're told, so no one has cause to punish you tonight." Tessa shook her head. "And everyone is your master here. Do you understand Raven? You're a slave tonight."

"What?" slave?

"Do stop sugar coating it Tessa." Emma's voice was cold. Christy turned to see the blonde was dressed. "You're a sex slave tonight. You might escape being touched, but it is unlikely." Emma moved to the bed and kneeled with one knee on it. She stared down at Christy and Christy felt those eyes caress her every curve. "Very unlikely. Such a beautiful, untouched, xman. You'll be popular dear, so very popular." For just a moment, Christy saw pity in Emma's eyes and that's when she knew whatever she was in for was something that would make her want to consider the cold room instead.

Emma moved swiftly, suddenly and turned to leave. "I'll get her something appropriate. Explain to her what's expected of her."

When the door closed behind Emma Christy just stared at it for a moment. "Should I pick the cold room?" She asked softly while turning to look up at Tessa.

"The party will last several hours. Being in the freezer that long would kill you Christy." Tessa's eyes softened. "I really wish I could get you out of this. Just remember, no matter what they do it's only your body. They can't touch your soul. You're protected from that."

Christy felt some tears in her eyes and she took a deep breath as she realized what was happening. "Tessa. Should I pick the cold room?" Would death be better?

Tessa's hand moved over Christy's flesh in a figure eight, from low on her stomach to just below her breasts. The touch was gentle, sensuous. When Tessa leaned down, putting her face so close to Christy's that Christy could feel the warmth of her breath she whispered. "Tonight shouldn't be too bad. This is just to scare you, let you know what you might face tomorrow if you don't talk. You're hardly the only person playing slave this year." Tessa's hand moved just a little higher, circling Christy's breasts. Christy tried to pull away, but Tessa used her other hand to hold her still. "You'll be touched. Some of it will be very intimate." Tessa's hand moved over Christy's now hard nipples. "You're doing very good Christy. Just respond like this and you'll be fine."

"I can't." Christy tried to move away, but Tessa swung over her, straddling her. "Don't." Christy found her arms being held above her head.

"If we were in the party and you refused me, I'd have the right to whip or to spank you, and some would do that with more than a little zeal." Tessa's eyes hardened. "You have to submit. I'm doing this for your own good. You have to disconnect, it is only touch. You can do this."

The door opened and Christy didn't dare look away from Tessa's commanding eyes. She could do this. Christy took a deep breath. She'd suffered through so many things, nothing like this, but that didn't mean she couldn't do this. She tried to steal her courage. She just had to survive for Emma.

Was her Emma ever like this? She wondered as she finally turned to look at the white clad figure staring at them with amusement. "You know Tessa, if you wanted a slave of your own for the night I think Sebastian would actually be pleased. You never participate more than the bare minimum. I think you should claim her as your own." Tessa moved to stop holding Christy's arms down.

"It's too early to claim one." Tessa rolled off of Christy and moved with such grace towards Emma, taking the clothes from Emma's hand.

"But not too early for you to express interest." Emma turned to look at Christy. "Wouldn't you rather be Tessa's pet than perhaps some man's or Selene's, which is just as bad if not worse. I've seen her entertainment for the night the morning after and they don't look very satisfied. They looked rather bruised actually, and I think that woman bites." Emma's smile was teasing and considering the topic, it wasn't funny.

Christy thought Emma was just a little off. A little less graceful. Emma was high. Christy was surprised to realize it. Well she had said she needed drugs to get through these parties, but the Emma in Christy's world would be very leery of going into a situation like this, which seemed dangerous, in less than peek condition.

"I don't take slaves Emma."

"No you just play them." Emma's voice got colder. "Think about it Tessa. You can switch, and here it's the Dominant ones that get respect. You could really be someone around here, but you have to play their games and beat them at it. Use her and show the others that you aren't just Sebastian's little servant. She might even like it. You are very thorough in whatever you do." Christy watched with wide eyes as those two stared at each other. Hearing Emma asking, practically ordering, Tessa to take Christy was hard to do. Emma wanted Tessa to take Christy, willing or not, to gain power. Christy's eyes showed how betrayed she felt, even though this wasn't her Emma.

"Here." Tessa moved to Christy's side and handed over the clothes. "I'll take you to the bathroom before we go so you can get ready."

"Yes, I better go now. I need to take care of some of my own preparations." Emma left, but her tone said she wasn't happy that Tessa had ended the conversation.

Christy sighed heavily and reminded herself that her Emma wouldn't do this to her. She'd seen that people could be very different in different realities, maybe her lover never was like this. Her jaw clenched as she thought of things she hadn't understood before, little comments she'd heard her Emma say that made Christy think this Emma was more like her Emma than she'd want to admit, that her lover's Hellfire club experience wasn't all that different.

She found herself following Tessa to a door in the bedroom, the bathroom was meticulous and orderly. She could try to run, but if she made it she'd still need to get this Emma to help her at some point. She couldn't exactly escape only to come back a month later and ask for help.

Could she ever trust this Emma to help her? Christy glanced at Tessa, as that woman leaned against the door again to watch her. She was feeling more safe with this woman than the double of her own lover right now and that wasn't a comfortable position to be in.

"It isn't like you left a weapon in here. Can't I just shower in peace?"

"No." Tessa just tilted her head a little and smirked. "You might as well get used to it now. Things like modesty are the first things that are ripped away from you here."

Christy did her best to ignore Tessa's staring as she showered and dressed. Her outfit this time lacked gloves or boots. The black high heels Emma brought were higher than average, and it was only hours of practice her Mystique forced her to endure to learn how to deal with heels that enabled her to do it. Christy looked in the mirror and thought Tessa looked more powerful next to her, since Tessa wore the gloves, the thigh high boots and the cloak. The dark haired woman had her sit in front of the mirror.

Tessa's sure hands moved through Christy's hair with mousse on it to try and get the wild spiky look that this double normally seemed to have. Tessa seemed to caress Christy's scalp. It felt nice and a small shiver went through Christy's body as the caress moved slowly down her neck. "I think that looks good." Tessa spoke softly while looking in the mirror. Christy studied the face in that mirror and mentally apologized to her double for whatever would happen to them now.

………………

"Be respectful." Tessa whispered to her as they walked closer to the sounds of laughter. "Don't give them any reason to take notice of you." Christy's heart was pounding. "Stop walking like you own the world and don't make eye contact unless they initiate it first." Christy hadn't even realized she'd started to try to take control. Her body language was a weapon, she'd learned that, but right now Tessa didn't want her to use it. Christy made an effort to pull into herself some more, to stare at the ground more.

She hadn't realized how proud a woman she was until this moment. It felt like she'd have to beg for mercy and part of her rebelled against that.

"Stop." Tessa put a hand on Christy's arm. The collar in Tessa's hand caused a small tick to start in Christy's eyes. "I know you don't have an aggressive power, but all slaves must wear inhibitor collars."

Christy took a nervous step backwards. "I can't." What would happen to her if her host's powers were shut off? Would hers be too? Her powers were all that kept her alive.

"Raven, I'm giving you an order. You aren't allowed to disagree."

"It might kill me." Christy whispered while staring into Tessa's eyes. Christy's eyes were wide. "Tessa, I really am not lying about possessing her." Tessa grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the main hall and into a room, it looked like an office. The meticulous order and several computers made Christy think this one was Tessa's.

"Is she aware?" Tessa moved to the desk and pulled out some tools. "Do your victims know what's happening?" Victims. Christy didn't like having it described that way.

"I was told they do." Christy spoke softly as Tessa opened up part of the collar. She watched as Tessa pulled a wire out, then put it back together. "You're helping me?"

"The rules of this party are hardly worth your life. You are worth more alive after all." Tessa held the collar out again and Christy leaned her head down to accept it. The click of the fastener made her flinch a little, and she found her body waiting tensely to see if she'd die. "There. Don't use your powers, and no one will be able to figure out that you could."

"Thank you." Christy took a shaky breath. Ally, she had an ally here.

"There's a hook on the collar, you might find yourself tied by it. If that happens don't struggle or you could hurt your neck." Tessa opened a drawer and pulled out cuffs, black leather, with attached rings as well. "Give me your hand. If I have you outfitted with these beforehand someone won't put more sadistic versions on you. I had this set lined to keep it from rubbing."

Christy watched as Tessa gently put the cuff on her wrist. It was soft on the inside. "I've never…" Christy swallowed hard and stared at the other cuff being put on her.

"I know." Tessa's hand moved to caress Christy's arm still so gently. "I hadn't either. I had to put in my time as a slave too Christy. It isn't just for prisoners. Emma is right. There are people out there that you don't want to find yourself kneeling in front of. I'll do what I can to help you, but I have responsibilities that will pull me away from the party often. You will be on your own."

"Emma?"

"Is going to take even more drugs and become a little more sadistic than normal. Still," Tessa paused and her hand moved to touch Christy's cheek, holding her gaze forcefully even though it wasn't needed. "If you have to pick a mistress the White Queen is kinder than the Black. Emma will humiliate you, but Selene will damage your body, Raven's body, and might try to steal your life."

"I pick… but I don't want one at all."

"You aren't picking so much as trying to encourage someone to pick or not pick you."

"Men?" Christy was panicked. This was worse than cramming for a test in college, this was danger and she had just minutes to learn to try and avoid it.

"Yes, there are men out there." Tessa's hand moved to caress Christy's neck. It felt like a lover's touch. "Hellfire women are encouraged to be bisexual, but the men aren't."

"Tessa."

"So you're gay too?" Tessa stepped a little closer and her hand moved over Christy's side to rest on her hips. "It's just touch tonight. If you find someone touching you that you don't like, think of now. Imagine it's me. You don't appear threatened by my touch. If it gets to be too much and you're near Emma and can ask without being noticed, Emma most likely has more drugs on her. She can't handle these parties without it. I never do it that way, but if you need to, do it." Tessa's eyes stared into her own. "And Raven, maybe now would be a good time to think of other things." Christy felt like that comment wasn't for her, but that Tessa was trying to talk right to her double. There was a softness in Tessa's voice that Christy had heard a few times, but never with witnesses. She strongly suspected that Tessa knew Raven, but that it was a secret. But if Raven was an Xmen, the Xmen weren't supposed to know about how Xavier forced Tessa to be a spy here, in this hell. Christy felt a wave of anger at the man again, just like when she'd heard the story for the first time from the Tessa she worked with.

There was little doubt in her mind that if her double was here because of a spy, it would be because of Tessa. Sadly that meant that Tessa was forced to interrogate her, while hoping Christy never talked.

Tessa suddenly stood straighter. "Kneel." The command was so sudden and Tessa's stance changed so quickly that Christy fell to her knees immediately. The click of the door behind her as it opened explained the change. Tessa's voice was like it had been before, a touch cold, more than a touch commanding. "I expect you to sit on the floor, never a chair, during the party. Sitting, for you will be kneeling on the ground."

"Are you instructing her?" Sebastian's deep voice filled the room. He sounded a little surprised. Christy started to turn towards the door, but a glare from Tessa stopped her. Christy stayed kneeling in front of Tessa, staring at the woman's pale skin between the tiny panties and the corset. It was right in front of her eyes.

"There is no need for her to be damaged because I didn't tell her the rules." A soft touch caressed Christy's cheek. "It would be a shame if her lovely skin was marred by a whip."

That got nothing but silence for a moment. Christy heard his heavy footsteps moving around behind her and she could feel eyes on her. It was a struggle to not flinch as a large hand moved to touch her shoulder. "Raven." Sebastian spoke and Christy found her eyes traveling up to Tessa's first, unsure of what she was supposed to do. Tessa nodded and Christy turned her head to look up at the man.

Sebastian, instead of talking to her, looked over at Tessa. His eyes held a question, which he didn't ask. He turned to look at Christy again. "I did a little research of my own, and the Xmen don't know where you are. They don't even appear to be concerned. We could keep you indefinitely and they wouldn't think to check here would they?" He stopped talking and looked at her expectantly.

His eyes narrowed dangerously as she didn't answer. She didn't know what to say. She'd told them she wasn't Raven, but no one but Tessa listened to her when she said that. "Answer him, Raven." Tessa commanded and Christy caught the slight inflection to her double's codename.

"They don't know." She could assume that from what Sebastian told her. "I was acting on my own."

"And why my dear did you do that?" His hand was still on her and Christy could feel his thumb caressing her neck. Her skin crawled and she just wanted to bat his hand away. She noticed Tessa move to hold her own elbow, and how her thumb moved like Sebastian's was. Pretend it's Tessa, that's what Tessa wanted. Christy forced her body to stop tensing up.

"I thought I could do it." Christy struggled with making vague explanations that might be the truth. "I just wanted to see if I could. Cyclops doesn't…" Her words trailed off a little nervously as his hand continued to touch her, moving a little lower, just above her breast.

"I believe she's talking about Cyclops' tendency to underestimate her, because her powers aren't aggressive." Tessa filled in the gap that Christy suspected might be there.

"Is this true? Are you here to prove yourself?" Sebastian sounded amused. "Well, you'll certainly be proving yourself here." The hand finally moved away and when Christy sighed in relief Tessa glared at her again. Okay, so that was a mistake too. "I'll see you ladies in the party soon." It was a command.

"Of course." Tessa nodded a little submissively herself. "I just have a few more instructions for her before I let her loose among the wolves."

"And they are wolves dear." Sebastian warned her. "If you find it's too much for you, just point out the spy and I'll let Tessa take you back to her room." Chances were pretty good if Christy pointed out the spy, she'd be spending time with Tessa, but it wouldn't be in Tessa's room. Now Christy found she was going to endure this for Tessa.

When he closed the door Tessa waited just a moment. "Stand up." The gentle tone was still missing, and that's how Christy knew they weren't really alone yet. She was unsteady on her feet as she struggled back up while wearing those heals. It didn't help that she was still a little off balance from the drugs. "I have more cuffs, these are for your ankles."

…………….

Her eyes widened as she got to the doorway and Tessa allowed her to stop walking for just a moment and stare. It was like a perverts Disneyland in there, a sex addicts Christmas. Garland and lights lined the ceiling and encircled various railings and what looked to Christy to be torture devices. A man was strapped to an x shaped cross and a woman dressed like Tessa was caressing his back with a whip, standing so close to him.

"That's the St. Andrews cross." Tessa spoke quietly, explaining it. "Don't let Selene get you on that if at all possible. That's Selene." Tessa indicated another woman in black sitting at a table talking with a group of people.

Just seeing so many women walking around barely dressed like this was strange, but it was clear now that it was the boots, cloaks, and gloves that marked a woman as not a slave. Other women dressed like Christy were sitting on laps, or by other people on the floor. Some were serving drinks to people. The room was huge, and it was just grotesque that she could hear Christmas music playing in the background of this.

"That is the Catherine Wheel." Tessa pointed out another device in yet another darkened corner of the room. "That's another toy to avoid if possible, but if not… close your eyes or you'll get sicker. I'm sure anyone getting you on that will want to spin it fast, instead of what its meant for."

"Something like that's supposed to be sexy?" Christy gave Tessa a doubtful look.

"This is about power. They use sex to show it, but it's about power." There were other things Christy wanted to know, but Tessa stood more rigid and Christy lowered her eyes.

"I heard it, but I wasn't sure I should believe it." A woman spoke and Christy still didn't know if she was supposed to look. "Raven. I've heard of her."

"Yes Jacqueline, I'm sure you have." Tessa spoke calmly. "Raven." Tessa commanded and Christy looked up at her. "Go to the bar, and tell them I want a drink. They'll give you my regular and bring it back."

"Yes Mistress." Christy noticed a moment of surprise in Tessa's eyes, but there was no way Christy was not hiding behind Tessa tonight. It was more than worth a little bruised pride to have Tessa be the only one touching her.

And when did that become okay?

"Oh Tessa, I did not know you'd acquired such an in demand slave. I had heard she'd be on the market during the auction, everyone's talking about bidding on an actual Xman." Christy walked away, while wishing she could hear the rest of that. Auction didn't sound good, and Raven really shouldn't have joined the spandex crew.

As the bartender got her order Christy allowed herself the small fantasy of how this might have gone so much better if she had jumped into her double outside of the Hellfire club at least. If she'd been able to find Emma outside of these walls, would the blonde have been more approachable? Or would Christy have trusted her too quickly and been mindraped by her lover's double when she let the shield down. That wasn't a pleasant thought either. Maybe it didn't really matter where she showed up.

Christy's body tensed as she felt someone run their hand slowly over her ass. Her instinct was to fight and she did her best to just stay standing and waiting. Emma's voice was a bit of a relief. "I guess miracles can't be expected in an hour of training, if you even got that."

"I had a shower." Christy glanced at the blonde now leaning against the bar next to her. "Training was more like fifteen minutes."

"Oh, you poor dear." Emma smirked at her. "I'm surprised that Tessa let you wander over here unsupervised."

"Here you go slave." The bartender handed her a glass, while leering at her openly. Again there was little she could do. Christy nodded thanks and reached for it.

"No, no no." Emma corrected her quickly. "You say thank you Master. Everyone, but those dressed as slaves are your Master and you must show them respect."

"Thank you Master." Christy spoke quickly and he's oily grin made her a little sick, but she took the drink he offered.

"I'm surprised an Xman caves so quickly." Emma moved to walk with her across the room. "Where is that hero pride?"

"Pride is a luxury I don't think I can afford right now." Christy answered honestly.

"You're smart, you can't afford it." Emma was clearly intrigued by her. Christy glanced at the woman when Emma took her arm and stopped her walking towards where she'd left Tessa. "But you're teammates would have tried to escape by now and you're still here, playing slave."

"There are guards on all the exits, two." Christy sighed. "That's what I can see. I thought about it, but I'm not really dressed for a fight am I?"

"I can fight in this." Emma motioned to her outfit.

"I can barely walk in this." It was best if people underestimated her, but it looked like her quick surrender was just as suspicious as anything else she might have done. Christy bowed her head a little. "Mistress, may I be excused? Mistress Tessa did order this drink after all."

"You are excused for now slave." Emma let her go and Christy endured a few touches as she made her way through the crowd, a hand on her rear, someone brushing up against her chest. They were hardly accidents, but much easier to ignore if she just focused on her goal. Tessa.

Tessa was talking with Jacqueline still, but Christy noticed the slight nod in her direction and what looked like some approval in her eyes. For such a warrior and leader, Christy was surprised by how good that little bit of acknowledgment felt. "Mistress." She held the glass out and Tessa took it gracefully to her lips, tasting it.

"Very good." The other woman was obviously staring at her. Tessa reached out with the hand that wasn't holding her glass and looped a finger through the ring on Christy's collar, pulling her closer. Christy took a step closer to keep from being tugged. "Good girl. Fast learner." Tessa gave her a slight smile before turning her eyes to the woman next to her. "Raven here was caught inside the club. She'd managed to steal an outfit and walk among everyone for an hour before we caught her."

"She's very pretty." Christy saw the warning in Tessa's eyes just a moment before she felt hands on her back. Jacqueline's fingers traced the toned muscles of her double's body, caresses shoulder blades. "An Xmen. I've seen them on TV, but I only saw this one a few times." Christy filed that information about her double away as she did her best to pretend it was Tessa touching her. Tessa's hands that trailed down her back, and cupped her butt, squeezing as if testing a melon. Christy's eyes widened in shock.

Tessa herself reached out and caressed Christy's hair, while the older woman behind Christy ran hands back up her back. Thank god for people with odd fetishes and attractions. Jacqueline was more interested in Christy's back than her ass.

Emma's question about running ran through her head again and she asked herself that. Why didn't she just run? She might make it.

Then what? Tessa's sharp eyes stopped Christy from sighing when Jacqueline finally took her hands off of her. "She's a racehorse. I would be willing to bid on her, but if the Royalty take notice I don't have the points. Such a shame." The slap to her ass tossed Christy forward a little in shock, the noise was loud but it didn't really hurt. "She seems easy to train." Jacqueline had no idea how close that woman came to getting punched. Christy unclenched her fist slowly as Jacqueline walked away.

"Not bad, but you need to do better." Tessa spoke softly to her, while still holding onto the collar. Christy just sucked in a deep breath and lowered her head. This was going to be so hard. She felt humiliated and it wasn't even her body. "Come, the show is about to start."

Christy followed Tessa to a couch and when Tessa took a seat on the edge, Christy stared for just a moment, wondering where she was supposed to be.

"Kneel here." Tessa pointed to a spot on the side of the couch. Christy did what she was told and eyed the ring in the floor curiously. "If you were mine, purchased, then I'd have a leash on you to show the others you were already taken, and I'd be able to tie you to that." Tessa explained without even taking her eyes off of what looked like a raised stage now, with the lights on it, as if a play were about to happen.

That man on the cross was wheeled out, cross and all and placed in the middle of the stage. His shirt was off and he wore what amounted to a thong. It was one of the few, very few, men dressed as a slave. Christy started to glance around to see if she could spot any other men like that. Tessa's hand on her head gently encouraged her eyes back to the stage. "If you don't talk, I hear tomorrow you'll be on that stage as the opening act."

Christy's eyes widened at that, because there was no way she'd talk. She was going to be up there. Bared?

A woman came out, wearing the gloves and boots, but no cape. In her hand was a whip. Oh god. Christy turned to stare at Tessa, who just nodded at her, telling her silently to watch.

The crack of the whip made her flinch violently back as the man was hit the first time. "What did he do?" People were casually watching this, as if it were the news and not a man being whipped.

"Oh he just lost a bet. Bored millionaires are dangerous creatures." The whip cracked again, and Christy's body jerked a little in sympathy. "Silence, just watch." Tessa spoke before Christy could ask anything else. By the time the whipping was done, he was hanging from his bonds weakly and sweat shown in the lights, making him glisten. The angry red marks on his back glared at her and Christy just stared as they wheeled the cross to the corner for him to hang a little longer. Christy noticed a few people walking over to look at his back, a few women caressed his hurting flesh.

"How did you like the show?" Sebastian was there suddenly and Christy cursed herself for being so distracted that she didn't notice the mountain of a man walking up to them.

"I've never seen…" She started to talk as she turned to answer only to stop mid sentence and stare at what was happening at the table behind him. "Oh my god." Her eyes widened.

The sharp slap to her head startled her and Christy turned to glare for just a moment, until she saw Tessa's face. "Sorry Mistress." Christy stared down at the floor. Those people were having sex right on the table and the others at the table just watched.

"You lived a pretty sheltered life as an Xmen." Sebastian chuckled at her. "But we'll beat that out of you." He glanced behind him then back at Christy. "Tomorrow you can be the main entertainment, and who knows… maybe the day after that you can be the table entertainment." His words were so casual. Christy's fists clenched and she glared up at him, while now being able to hear the sounds of sex from just a few feet away.

He squatted down in front of her. "There's the Xman I knew was hiding behind all that submission." His voice was threatening. "We will teach you what real submission is." His large hand reached out and grabbed the ring on her collar, dragging her forward and making it hard to breath. "I'll get what I want out of you one way or another." His eyes leered at her. "Give it up Xman. You're the most pathetic one, you aren't a challenge. We will break you." He shoved his hand back shoving Christy back so she fell onto her butt. "We will break you." He repeated as he got up, and he just nodded to Tessa before turning to leave.

"Kneel." Tessa's voice was cold. "And stay." Christy watched in dismay as Tessa moved to follow Sebastian, leaving Christy alone at the orgy.

She looked up at the table again and couldn't help watching, it was like her eyes were magnetically attached to the man harshly fucking a girl dressed like Christy on the table. When he finished Christy had to look away in disgust as another man stood up. At least that woman didn't look upset with it, but it just seemed sick. Did she even know those men?

There were other people, in couples, in groups, on couches or tables, all doing the same thing. There were others just talking and watching the action. Emma, thank god, was just sipping a glass and talking with someone. Emma's head turned and her eyes caught Christy's. A slow smile came to the blonde as Emma said something to her companion. Then they laughed. Christy couldn't help the embarrassed blush that came to her cheeks. This was by far the worst Emma she'd met, but it still hurt that Emma was laughing at her.

Christy's eyes moved to the doors. There were two, one which she'd come in and another set. She knew she hadn't seen an exit on her way in, so maybe it was out the other doors.

She'd never been out of this building in this world. She'd never seen the doors. Her double had a better chance of escaping than she did, but unfortunately she was in charge. She eyed the men obviously guarding the door and tried to gauge if she could get past them. If they were human, yes she could slip past them, but they could be mutants. This place had a lot of mutants, it could even be a guest that took her down.

She didn't want to go back to the cold room, but she didn't want to submit to these monsters either. It was different submitting to Tessa and Emma. Christy blushed when she thought about how much she'd submitted to already, but they weren't… as bad.

The soft squeak of the couch drew Christy's eyes to yet another person that managed to sneak up on her. Christy stared up into the eyes of Selene and swallowed hard before turning back to stare at the floor, hoping that she'd be invisible. "You are so incredibly full of life. It blinds me." Selene spoke, and something about her words and her tone made Christy think of a vampire. Christy sat still. "I am talking to you slave."

"Life?" Christy finally asked as she glanced at the other woman, keeping her eyes down more respectfully than normal, because both Emma and Tessa told her to fear this one. "I'm full of death."

"No, you could be my sister in powers. I can see it. You take lifeforce as well. You feed on what I feed on." Selene was staring at her and Christy felt a tug inside. It wasn't a telepathic attempt, Selene had tried that and given up quickly. "Can you see their life force. Can you see it leaving them when you feed? Can you feed actively or do you just wait like I heard you did, wait like a spider for its prey?"

Selene was too interested. Christy would have walked away if she were free to. "I can't take. When people die it just hits me."

"Life shines like a star, and you shine like the sun. You must have taken many deaths into yourself." Selene was seeing the real her then, and that wasn't good. She couldn't explain away being exposed to that much death.

The tugging sensation increased started to hurt. "What are you doing?" Christy backed away from the woman, while raising her shields up higher than normal. She envisioned her mind being completely encapsulated in her shield, and the tugging stopped.

"Amazing. You can stop me." Selene leaned closer to her and Christy scrambled backwards, running into someone's legs.

"Don't feed on the slaves." Emma's voice was angry. Christy felt like Selene had tried to suck her soul out. "And definitely not this one."

Selene just laughed. "You don't know what a gem you've captured, but I do." Selene stood up and then reached out to touch Christy. Christy leaned backwards to avoid the touch. "Oh don't worry child. Your watchdog is here to protect you, today." The today was a threat and Christy found her hand moving out to grasp Emma's boot as Selene turned and walked away.


	13. Hellfire 1 Part 2

500 Miles

Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Warnings: bdsm, sexual situations, violence, profanity, drug use, and noncon all apply to Hellfire, I'll just put this warning in once, but keep it in mind … I think I'm checking to make sure it isn't nc-17, but if you read this and think I still need to work on it please let me know. I'm not trying to sneak past the R rating, I just have trouble classifying my work. This goes for future chapters of hellfire as well.

"She's a monster." Christy whispered.

"Yes she is." Emma glanced down at Christy and Christy let go immediately. She was still on the floor, so she scooted back to her post. "What did she say?"

"That I was full of life." It still didn't sound right to her, but a woman like that probably could tell.

Emma stood taller. "Come." She patted her thigh and started to walk. Christy moved to stand, but then stopped. "What?" Emma turned to glare at her.

"I'm supposed to stay."

"And I'm telling you that I can't leave you here alone and I need to talk with Sebastian."

"Tessa told me to stay."

"I'm not going to argue this. Come or I'll punish you for disobeying and I'll do it here in front of everyone." The tone of voice promised the punishment would be severe if she didn't follow now. Christy glanced around the room and noticed several eyes watching this.

"Yes Mistress. I'm sorry, I don't understand so much." Christy got to her feet and did her best to appear humble and subservient when she wanted to just growl at her lover's double for acting like she was a pet.

Emma took a hold of the ring on her collar and started for the doors Christy came in. "You do realize that now Tessa will have to punish you for disobeying her don't you?" Emma smirked at her and Christy stopped walking for just a moment. The harsh tug got her moving again. "You really couldn't win in that situation. That happens sometimes. Sometimes you have to pick between punishments."

Bitch, Christy thought with venom as they stepped out of the party and into the halls. Would Tessa really punish her? Christy wondered what the dark haired woman might have to do now to keep up appearances.

"Sebastian, I think we need to reconsider our plans for Christy here tonight." Christy cautiously followed Emma into a room, which turned out to be a large office. Tessa turned and stared at her, from where it looked like she was filing something. "I just stopped Selene from killing her during the party. Christy shouldn't be left alone." Emma's voice became suggestive. "I could keep her in my room."

The silence from the three of them told Christy the conversation just went telepathic. She just sighed and clasped her hands behind her back while waiting. Finally someone spoke out loud for her benefit. "Fine you two can work out the details."

"Also I believe Tessa gave Christy very specific instructions to stay by the couch." Emma turned slowly to smirk at Christy. "Obviously she didn't do it."

"Christy." Tessa's voice was commanding. "Come here." Christy hesitantly did what she was told, while wondering what punishment was. What could it be?

Tessa took her by the ring in that collar, the one Christy hated now and lead them out of the room without telling anyone what she'd do. They moved back towards the party. It sounded like the other two were following to see this but Christy didn't dare try to turn her head while Tessa had such a good grip on the collar.

"It looks like we'll be giving them the show they all wanted." Tessa tugged Christy more roughly into the party room and Christy had to work hard to stay on her feet and walk behind her. Tessa didn't really have a choice, did she? Christy didn't think Tessa wanted to punish her, did she?

Part of her felt like running, since this was just the beginning. She wasn't really afraid, not of tonight, but she'd be lying if she didn't acknowledge that she was afraid of how bad it would get here. With Tessa right here escape attempts were guaranteed to fail, because for all the training Christy had in fighting during the past three years, Tessa had so easily captured her when she got here.

Christy's steps slowed as she noticed Tessa was walking them towards the end of the room with the weird torture devices. A sharp tug on her collar kept her moving. She felt several different caresses to her shield as telepaths tried to determine what was happening, but Christy's shield held.

"Kneel here." Tessa spoke in brief commands, clearly not wanting to discuss anything. A light came on for the darkened corner, lighting up the almost stock-like looking thing. It was missing a place to hold her head, but after Christy kneeled, she could feel Tessa pulling chain through the loop in the ankle cuffs.

Christy caught a glance of all the people that stopped what they were doing, some were still in position, mid stroke during sex on tables and facing the stage as they watched what Tessa was doing to her. She forced herself to not look, did her best to not think about the audience.

She'd suffered far worse than this in her life. She would survive the embarrassment, it wouldn't kill her. Christy told herself this as Tessa forced her to bend over the bench and tied her wrists down as well. The feeling of helplessness among so many enemies had her breathing harder in fear. All she had to protect her was Tessa. She couldn't move to protect herself now. It took effort to not pull power, it was a reflex to fear now, but she wasn't supposed to still be able to. Christy caught one dark clad woman watching with a lot of interest, yeah, Selene. She'd probably catch it if Christy let even a little of the death touch her. Death or life, whatever it was she absorbed.

"Don't beg, don't scream, and I wont gag you." Tessa spoke to her while squatting in front of her. Tessa caressed her hair gently, belying the harsh words and situation with the show of tenderness. "I'm going to spank you for your disobedience."

A spanking? Part of Christy wanted to laugh at the idea, but all of this preparation made it more serious. Still it wasn't whipping. She still didn't have to deal with that until the next night.

Tessa moved out of her line of sight, then Christy felt and saw the blindfold being put over her eyes. "Don't think about them, just me." Again Tessa spoke so gently.

"They're trying to get into my head." Christy whispered as yet another volley of telepathic probes bounced off her shield. It was impossible to ignore that.

"But they can't, can they?" Tessa spoke a little louder. "No telepath can touch your mind."

"No, they can't." Christy felt fewer attempts, only one or two even continued to try. As Tessa moved around her body Tessa kept a hand on Christy. The last telepaths gave up and Tessa moved to rest a hand on Christy's lower back.

"Have you ever been spanked before?" Tessa asked, almost casually.

"No…" Christy paused before remembering, "No Mistress." Christy felt hyper aware of what she could sense. She could hear the quiet in the room that had been so noisy as they walked in. She could feel the caress of air as it moved through the room. She could feel the warmth of Tessa's hand on her back. She could smell the leather of her cuffs and the cushion under her body. The slight dizziness of the drugs in her blood seemed to tilt the room just a little back and forth.

"It needs to be bare bottom." Tessa's other hand caressed Christy's panty clad rear gently, before fingers caught the edge of the panties and started to pull them down. Christy's fists clenched as she heard the audience make a few comments. "Just me." Tessa spoke again, as if trying to calm a wild horse.

Christy did her best to ignore the offers to help Tessa with this, or the ones to break in her ass another way.

Christy's back tensed when Tessa's hand moved to caress Christy's now exposed flesh, but slowly she relaxed as the caresses just touched her. Christy swallowed hard and tried to ignore how parts of her anatomy were coming alive with Tessa's gentle touch. She felt Tessa's fingers gently caress her rear, felt them slowly run over her side and back. Tessa's hand left her and then the loud smack startled Christy again. She felt a tingle of blood rising to her skin where Tessa struck her. She gasped in shock, from the noise and the suddenness of it, but it didn't hurt. Christy expected pain.

"I'm warming you up." Tessa spoke softly again, no anger motivated this spanking and Tessa almost seemed to read her confusion in her body language. "It will hurt and you will have trouble sitting." Another slap hit her other cheek, it started a volley of hits. The hits moved location, never concentrating on a single spot.

After Christy started to really feel the sting the hits stopped and Tessa was gently caressing her again. Her fingers trailed down to the place her legs met her body and Christy's breath stopped as she felt those fingers gently touch her sex. Wet. She hadn't even realized until Tessa touched her there. Christy's face reddened in embarrassment as she became aware of the throbbing. Her head fell forward and she was so grateful when Tessa didn't say anything or do anything to show she'd noticed.

Christy's breathing came faster as the strikes became harder. Her body flinched with each one, but she kept her mouth clamped shut so she wouldn't whimper when Tessa hit her especially hard. Her head stayed hanging down, her arms strained against the bondage.

The room echoed with the slaps. Tears wet the blindfold, not that she was crying, but it hurt and the tears just leaked out.

"Oh that's a reddened bottom alright." Some heckler's voice got through her haze. It reminded her of the audience she'd forgotten. It had felt like Tessa was the only person here with her. She couldn't see the audience, but she turned her face away from them in shame.

She flinched again when she felt Tessa's hand gently caressing her. The change in types of touches were disorienting, and she started to mentally plead for Tessa to get her out of here, away from the eyes she could feel on her, but Tessa couldn't hear her. For once she wished she could transfer the link she had with her lover to a different telepath completely. "You did very well." Tessa's hand almost seemed to soothe the fire of Christy's skin. A whimper finally escaped her lips as her tense body just let go, her body sagged against the bench.

Tessa's fingers dragged the underwear that had just barely been pulled down back over her sensitive flesh. "I'll take you to bed now." Tessa spoke as Christy felt hands working on the chains that held her ankles.

"I'll bet you will." Someone spoke, and Christy's face burned in humiliation.

"Looks like Shaw's henchwoman knows how to handle an ass." There was laughter. Tessa's motions didn't even seem to indicate she'd heard them. Tessa's hand caressed up Christy's back, and two hands moved to gently squeeze her shoulders, before Christy felt Tessa undoing the chains holding her arms. Those hands that had hit her with such strength were so painfully gentle, so soft and warm.

Christy's muscles ached from pulling on the chains. Tessa seemed to know that, because she took more time to gently rub Christy's shoulders. Everywhere Tessa touched her seemed to hum with want and Christy took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"Up." Tessa's voice didn't show the warmth her hands did.

Christy reached for the blindfold after she straightened up and was just resting on her knees, but Tessa's hand stopped her. "Leave it on."

Tessa's hands caressed Christy's jaw, which was still clenched. "Thank me." Tessa whispered and Christy felt Tessa's breath on her face.

"Thank you mistress." Christy's voice was choked, raw. The kiss, took her by surprise and Christy groaned as she let Tessa kiss her deeply. Tessa was such a good kisser that Christy leaned closer as Tessa leaned away.

"I'll be damned. Tessa's tamed an Xman." A gruff voice filled the room. Christy's body tensed and she pulled away from the kiss, suddenly reminded of the audience, and then the guilt hit her. She loved Emma, her Emma. She shouldn't have kissed Tessa.

"Come." There was a gentle tug on her arm. "Be careful, you'll be unsteady on your feet." That turned out to be true. Christy wobbled on her heels and was embarrassed again by a squeak of panic as she thought she'd fall. She still couldn't see anything. Another person took her other arm and Christy was lead away by two women. She could smell Emma's subtle perfume and knew it must be a sight, having the White Queen and Tessa leading her out of the room.

"Good idea leaving the blindfold on her Tessa."

"I don't want to talk about this Emma." There was a cold edge to Tessa's voice.

"It really was more merciful to introduce her to this in stages. Don't be mad at me for tricking her."

Christy couldn't bring herself to interrupt, even though they were talking about here in front of her again. She just hung her head down and walked where these women led her.

Her ears caught the hum of a familiar air conditioner and her body tensed. "Not the cold room, please." She whispered. More tears hit the blindfold as she imagined being put in that room now.

"Good ears, but no. I'm taking you to my room." Tessa spoke gently and caressed Christy's lower back. "You won't have to go to the cold room again."

"Should you have told her that?" Emma asked as Christy heard the hum of that room getting weaker. They must have passed it.

"Thank you for helping us up here." Tessa's voice was very businesslike, "but I have it now."

"I bet you do. I heard from a feral that he could smell her arousal. Is that why you were petting her so much? You wanted her ready for you?" Christy gasped as Emma said that. Her embarrassment was complete now.

"Come Christy." A door opened and Tessa's fingers caressed her cheek before grabbing the blindfold to remove it. It was bright as Christy's now live eyes tried to adjust to the light change.

"Yes Christy." Emma's voice was amused. "Tessa is good at getting women to come. Have fun. I'm going to go back to the party and find someone to help me deal with how hot and bothered watching the two of you has made me."

Christy looked away from Emma and caught the eyes of her tormenter and protector. "Come." Tessa spoke gently and closed the door behind them, locking Emma's cruelty outside. Tessa motioned for Christy to sit on the bed, but when Christy attempted it, it hurt.

"Take off your clothes and lay down. I'll take care of you. I know how it burns."

Christy endured sitting long enough to remove the shoes. She only hesitated a moment before removing the ankle cuffs so that she could, then she unlaced the corset. It was too late to be modest around Tessa now. Her teeth gritted a little as she bent to remove the panties, before turning to lay on her stomach. She wasn't sure what taking care of her entailed, but she waited patiently for Tessa to come back from the bathroom.

"Why didn't you try to escape?" Tessa asked gently as she moved to sit on the bed gracefully. Everything this woman did was graceful. The collar was gently removed and set aside.

"Because I can't get out of this body by myself." Christy hated how worn her voice sounded. It wasn't like she screamed, she'd managed not to. "I need Emma's help." Tessa removed the cuffs on her wrists as she spoke.

"Emma's help always comes with a high price. If it's a telepath you need…" Tessa offered. It was sweet.

"It's Emma. In my world," Christy sighed.

"She's your lover. I figured that out. But she isn't here is she? This isn't the woman you know."

"No." Christy moved to hug the pillow to her. "This is the most not my Emma I've found." She felt a wave of pain that she pushed away. "My Emma might have been like this once, but not anymore." Christy hugged the pillow tighter. "But my shield keeps all telepaths but one out, and my double needs to know how to hold herself separate so I can pull out. It takes both of us to separate."

"Raven won't trust Emma."

"I don't even trust this Emma."

"She may have tricked you, but in her own warped way this Emma thought that was a mercy. She wasn't lying. Tomorrow will be hard on you, but maybe now it won't be quite that hard."

Christy didn't say anything to that.

"I want to put something on your skin to try and keep down bruising. It will also help deaden the pain." Christy nodded and Tessa repositioned herself.

"I'm sorry this was necessary." Tessa spoke gently while she put some cool cream on Christy's very rosy cheeks. "But at least it was me that had to discipline you. Emma may claim white is her favorite color, but she likes a nice deep red too." Christy chuckled at Tessa's attempt to break the tension. Her Tessa rarely joked with her.

The caress was soothing. Christy groaned a little in pleasure as Tessa moved her hands over sore, tender muscles in her back as well. "You're so good at this." She felt she had to say something to acknowledge this favor.

"I know how it hurts, and you don't have my discipline. You were pulling on your chains."

That was yet another time Christy had heard it, and she felt she could ask now, now that she'd been there. "You were a slave?" Tessa told her as much, but no details.

"Not all the slaves are owned outright. Sometimes they are bought for a weekend, or lost in a card game for a while." Tessa's caresses were gentle, loving even. That was another question Christy had, but she'd wait. "During these parties now, I usually just observe. Occasionally I have to participate, and that's always been as a slave, until now. That's why Jacqueline was so interested in you, because I'd never shown any interest in a slave before." Christy felt the gentle pressure on her side, asking her to turn over. She did it gingerly. "But Emma was right. If I don't show interest Selene won't have any competition in getting you. I've saved up a good deal of points, nearly what Selene has."

"Points?" Christy felt a shiver at the idea that Selene had a lot of them, because that seemed important.

"Yes. Making dares, bets, doing favors, these are all worth points. It's a game Sebastian created to equalize things for his parties. Even the richest among us is on equal footing with the poorest that way." Tessa's hand moved to caress Christy's ribs. "I never buy, and I'm good at cards."

"Um, Tessa." Christy felt Tessa's hands move to caress her stomach then a little lower. Her body betrayed her by wanting that touch. "Why are you touching me? I have a lover."

"I know." Tessa's hand stopped, resting on Christy's stomach. "But you need to be used to this. If you flinch away from a touch you could find someone else punishing you. I'm training you so you can survive this." Tessa leaned over Christy. "If your lover is anything at all like this Emma, if she's been in the Hellfire club, she'll forgive you anything that happens here. It's survival. We all learned that." Tessa's hand dipped further down and Christy reached down quickly to grab it before Tessa could touch even lower.

"Slave." Tessa spoke that one word with authority.

"Not here. Out there." Christy wasn't a slave here.

"Christy, once you're purchased you are a slave everywhere." Tessa tugged on her hand and Christy let it go. "And you can't tell me that if I'd tried to do that at the party without your being chained up that you wouldn't have reacted the same way. I know, because that's what I did the first time." Tessa moved her hand down Christy's stomach again, letting Christy feel the progress it made towards her sex. "I was whipped and left to hang so that people could touch me without my trying to stop it. That's how I learned to not flinch." Christy was horrified to think Tessa had been through that, but the caress moved lower. "Don't flinch." Tessa whispered to her, her body half leaning over Christy.

Sure fingers moved through Christy's folds and Christy could feel her wetness being explored. She tried to turn away in her shame, but Tessa spoke softly. "No shame, no hiding, just be."

A finger caressed her so intimately. Christy gasped as her body ached. Tessa spoke again, her own voice slightly rough. "You like this. That will help you."

"Tessa." Christy arched into the touch. "Tessa."

"The spanking. I noticed you getting wet."

"Oh God Tessa." Christy's head leaned back, digging into the pillow. "Emma, I'm Emma's. She doesn't share. My Emma doesn't share." She spoke frantically as she felt her body burning for a woman that wasn't her lover.

"Come for me." Tessa stared down at her. "Do it here where I can let you cry afterwards."

The tears started early. Christy gasped for breath and started to try and crawl backwards, away from Tessa. Tessa pressed a strong hand down on her chest, stopping her. "Don't run. Feel me."

"Tessa." Christy felt her body shaking and knew. "TESSA." She called. "Please Tessa, NO."

"You have to do it. Do it for me." Tessa's fingers moved so insistently, so perfectly. "Raven." Tessa called out and the passion in her voice proved too much for Christy.

"TESSA…. Oh God Tessa." Tears streamed down her face as she screamed out her lover's name. Her body shook violently as she came. Christy felt like it wasn't her screaming out. When she fell to the bed spent she felt like she was an observer as her body whispered. "I love you Tessa."

"I'm so sorry it has to be this way Raven." Tessa pulled her closer and whispered to her. "I'm doing all that I can." There was a roar in her ears and Christy found herself able to move again. She laid there, stunned.

The tears started to fall, and Tessa held her as she cried.

………………….

"Ugh." Christy moved her arm to cover her eyes.

"You need some hair of the dog that bit you." Emma's voice filled the room and Christy's eyes popped open, the light stinging them. "I brought it." The pounding in Christy's head didn't cover up the guilt she felt at being found in the bed she'd just shared with Tessa.

Emma smirked at her and swept her cloak out of her way so she could sit on the bed. "So, now that our Xman is not so innocent, you can tell me. You like it don't you? The spankings. Those were never my thing, but you like it."

"Don't torment her Emma." Tessa's voice drew Christy's eyes to the bathroom. Tessa's hair was impeccable again and she was dressed in her black again, or still. Christy didn't remember all of the night. Did she ever touch Tessa back?

"It looks like she's been crying." Emma grabbed Christy's chin and Christy yanked it out of Emma's grasp angrily. "Oh child, don't become all willful now."

"I'm three years older than you. Stop calling me child." Actually if she thought about it there were more years, if she was counting from her real age and not her double.

"And how would you know that?" Emma moved to stand with her arms crossed in front of her as Christy tossed the sheets off and started to look for her own clothes, or whatever served as clothes here.

"Emma, your age is a matter of public record." Tessa answered for Christy.

"Well I believe its good I dropped by, given her grumpiness. That simply wont do."

"Christy, go ahead and take a shower." Tessa stood staring at Emma as she said that. Christy found her corset and grabbed it as she moved in that direction. "There are new panties in there for you."

"I imagine the last pair was too wet to put back on." Emma teased. Christy turned to glare at the woman. "Is that right dear? Was it too wet?" Christy just stared and Emma's face reddened a little. "I want an answer. Are you actually just a little slut?"

"No."

"So the underwear?" Emma glanced around the room. "It wouldn't happen to be around here would it Tessa."

"You didn't want to buy me. I don't see its any of your business."

Emma's irritating smirk faded and she took a step towards Christy. "Kneel" Emma commanded with a hint of a growl. It was probably a mistake to challenge her, but Christy turned obviously to Tessa.

Tessa had to repeat the order. "Kneel." Then Christy did it, with as much grace as she could manage while naked.

"You broke her last night, didn't you?" Emma's white boots entered Christy's view of the floor. "New slaves always rebel after they're broken for the first time. They try to get their power and pride back. Do you remember that Tessa?"

"I forget nothing Emma."

"That's right." Emma squatted down in front of Christy and spoke to her. "Eyes to me." It felt like a command you might teach a dog.

Christy complied, but slowly. Emma's sky blue eyes stared into hers and Christy felt the brush of a mind again, but she didn't let it in. "You are public domain. If I so desire I could take you back to my room right now and teach you your place. I am the White Queen and you are nothing but a slave."

"You aren't a real queen. You're just playing games and dress up. You rule nothing." Christy spoke clearly.

"Oh, to be so naive. You're words wound me." Emma mocked her by putting a hand over her chest, pretending to be struck. The hand darting out towards her face startled her, but Christy's arm came up to block it. "Don't defend yourself dear, you've lost that right." Christy looked past Emma to see Tessa's expression. When Emma moved to hit her again, Christy let her, and fell off balance. It wasn't hard and wouldn't bruise. It was a show of power and nothing else.

"I am the White Queen, and I may not have a country, but I do rule you." Christy's thoughts screamed, you are not My Queen. But she just pushed herself back into position and kneeled semi-obediently. "Tessa, I think we should shave her for tonight, don't you?"

"I'll prepare her for it." Tessa spoke and Christy felt an embarrassed flush.

"I can…"

"I didn't say you could speak." Tessa moved to her side. "Stand up."

Christy stood and waited. Tessa's hand moved slowly enough to not startle her as Tessa ran her hand through the short hairs being discussed. They were hardly wild or unruly, her double wasn't neglecting herself. The thought of being bare there was embarrassing. Christy, in her own form didn't have to worry about things like this, but her double might not like being shaved, it might be a reminder of what happened here.

"Come." Tessa started walking towards the bathroom. Christy followed and could feel that Emma was following as well. That made it worse. Tessa would have done it matter of fact and tried, perhaps, to minimize the embarrassment. Emma would mock her the entire time.

"Have you ever shaved?"

"Completely, no." Christy moved to the counter Tessa set a towel on and with a sigh and moment to try and prepare herself she moved to sit on it. "I don't like how it looks. It looks like a child."

"Oh, Tessa tell me, have you grown out yet?"

Tessa moved Christy's legs further apart and Christy looked away from both women, her face red as she was so exposed. "Enough that Christy won't feel like I'm too young to sleep with." It was said with no real inflection. "Don't move."

Emma stood behind Tessa's kneeling form to watch her work. Christy closed her eyes so she couldn't see it, but she could feel Tessa pulling gently on her hairs and trimming them short. She could practically feel the eyes on her and she could feel Tessa's breath.

"You are well formed." Emma spoke softly, "and opening like a flower." Christy's face reddened even more. "aroused dear?"

The soft clank of the scissors being set aside had Christy looking down at Tessa again. That woman's pale skin was beautiful and her face so close to Christy's sex that it had Christy gasping just a little.

"Definitely aroused. How do you do it Tessa? Your first slave actually really wants you."

"I'm not cruel." Tessa stood up and held a hand out to help Christy off the counter. "Shower then I'll finish."

Christy just nodded and eagerly moved to the shower and away from that embarrassment, if only for a little while.

"You still act like a slave as a master. Kneeling in front of her dear, you shouldn't do that." Emma spoke to Tessa and Christy found the shampoo with one hand as she listened in.

"It does no harm. She knows her place better than most would in her situation."

"She talks back."

"Only in here. It is too tiring to be a slave at all times. I give her some freedom here."

Christy had to listen in hard and as she scrubbed her hair, which still felt oddly short to her, she found out she could still enhance her hearing. It was a small shapeshift. Christy lowered her shield and started sucking in power while she was able to. She wasn't alone, but the women were outside of her stall.

"Has she said anything?" Emma spoke more quietly and Christy just smiled a little, relieved that she'd found a way to be more than merely a tiny step above human in this reality.

"I believe her. I believe she isn't Raven, not really. In which case, she has nothing to tell us. Nothing she can say to protect herself."

"Sebastian told me about your theory." Emma spoke while Christy quickly tried to rinse her hair so she could hear easier. "It seems far fetched."

"I've seen Raven's work and she isn't sloppy. She wouldn't fall through a door she was listening at. This woman doesn't strike me as that sloppy either. When she saw her reflection that first moment I saw shock in her eyes Emma. She didn't know what she looked like."

Christy put an arm in front of her and focused on just a little more, just a layer of skin over it, as if this body were the frame for another. It was an idea that came to her in her sleep, that she wished she could take the whipping for her double, so Raven wouldn't be scarred if the person doing it to her was too violent. She watched as her arm became just a little thicker.

It didn't take too much water for that, it wasn't a third arm. Christy smiled slowly and let the arm go back to normal. It would be hard to maintain it, it took a lot of concentration, but any minute she had that up instead of Raven's skin was a minute less torture her double had to experience helplessly.

"What is taking you so long?" Emma yelled out.

"I'm debating about turning to water and going down the drain."

"Lovely escape plan dear. Get out here." Emma lowered her voice. "She is an interesting one. It would be a shame to break her completely."

"I don't plan to."

"You better bid more than the others then, because from what I hear everyone else wants her to become a shell of what she was."

"I'll do my best."

"We have a few hours until the party. Would you like to play chess while Christy recovers from the experience of being shaved?" Christy rinsed the soap from her body as she thought about the fact that Emma had to know she'd just volunteered to lose points to Tessa, because Tessa was unbeatable.

She wasn't as nervous about the shaving as she stepped out of the shower. Despite being a bitch, Emma might be trying to help.

Her hair was slicked back as it dried and Christy moved to sit on the counter again. Tessa pulled a chair over to sit between her legs and Christy tried to look somewhere else. Emma smirked at her, so Christy didn't look over there.

"Watch her. Watch what she's doing to you." Emma ordered softly. Christy watched as Tessa applied shaving cream to Christy's pubic area, it felt cold, which made this harder to ignore.

Tessa took a razor and slowly, methodically, ran it over Christy's flesh. There was a bowl of water sitting on the closed toilet, and Tessa rinsed the razor off after each pass. Tessa's hands held Christy intimately as she shaved her.

"Could you hand me the Witch Hazel Emma?" Tessa spoke as she gently patted Christy with a towel, removing the last of the shaving cream. Christy's breath was a little fast as she felt the warmth and fullness that begged to be filled in her own body.

"Let me do it." Emma spoke and Christy turned her wide eyes to the mischievous grin the blonde was giving her and the bottle in her hand. "I want to double check your work anyhow."

"Christy, stay still." Tessa ordered as she stood up and Tessa's eyes stared into Christy's. If they could talk telepathically Christy imagined Tessa was telling her to behave.

"You certainly are pretty." Where Emma was looking gave little doubt to what was supposedly pretty. Christy blushed.

"Thank you." Her own lover had said that to her before, but it was just weird here.

Emma's bottle lay forgotten as Emma sat on the chair and ran a hand over the newly shaved skin. Christy's hands clenched and she stared with wide eyes as Emma ran a finger lower. "Wet, that's what I thought." Christy groaned as she felt a finger run along her sex. "So it isn't just Tessa, then is it dear." The sudden intrusion had Christy sucking in a shocked breath.

"Emma." She whimpered as the finger moved in and out slowly.

"Don't beg dear. You only get pleasure if your master wills it." The finger came out and Christy just stared into those blue eyes. "I don't will it now." Emma spoke a little coldly. "You get nothing for free from me. I don't doubt Tessa was content to just pleasure you, that's normally her role here, but that isn't how a true master behaves."

The not so veiled complaint about Tessa had Christy feeling defensive. Her eyes narrowed just a little and Emma laughed. The White Queen opened the bottle and poured some of the contents on her hands. The soft petting motion over the shaved area was less sexual than before. "When you are whipped tonight, you'll be bare back, which will mean bare front as well. You're panties are all that you'll be allowed to keep, so do try not to get them too wet."

"I don't like pain." Christy objected to the constant suggestion.

"And I didn't say you could talk." Emma's eyes were cold for just a moment. "But I'll forgive you this time, since Tessa explained your partial freedom in her rooms." Emma's eyes stared into her. "If you were my slave you'd have pleasured me then slept on a blanket in the corner of the room."

Christy started to open her mouth to respond to that, but Tessa shook her head, so she closed it. Her voice was softer as she decided she just had to say something. "Some of the others here chose to be here. They decided to give up their freedom. Do you see how that's different than me? I just decided I didn't want to die, and this is what I have to do to live…" Christy took a shaky breath. "There could be a time when I chose death over rape, because really those are the only choices opened to me."

Emma sat back and the teasing twinkle in her eyes faded. "You're all ready to get dressed." Christy watched Emma stand up and hand Tessa the bottle. "I'll set up the chess board while you tend to your slave."

Tessa held out a hand to help her down. "You've managed to render the White Queen silent."

"I've been in a relationship with an Emma for two years. I've learned a few things." Christy sighed. "She gets caught up in the games and forgets there are people involved sometimes. She doesn't usually do that to me though."

"Two years?" Tessa moved to lace up Christy's corset. "That might be a record for her."

"It was in my world."

"It's hard to imagine you with Emma." Tessa spoke as she tied off the corset.

"Because Raven's your lover." Christy spoke quietly and stared into Tessa's eyes.

"She's not." Tessa handed Christy her underwear. Christy could see how Emma might think Tessa was more servant than Master in this strange relationship, but it didn't lessen the dark haired woman in Christy's eyes.

"She's not?" Christy thought she had it all figured out.

"No, she's not." Tessa moved to the door. "Finish getting ready before you come out."

…………………….

Christy finished her hair and then stepped out to see Tessa and Emma sitting across from each other with a chess board between them. She moved to Tessa's side and waited for some idea of what she was supposed to do.

"Do you play chess?" Tessa asked her as she moved a piece.

"No." Her Emma offered to teach her once, but they ended up making love instead. Her lover had made the mistake of saying something about taking the Queen, so Christy did.

"Go ahead and sit in the chair. I'll explain as we play." Tessa gave her a slight smile. Christy moved to sit but she didn't miss the look Emma gave Tessa, the one that said she shouldn't spoil the slave.

It was interesting to see the difference in the way the women played. Tessa didn't appear to take any time considering her moves, but when she explained why she moved the way she did to Christy it was well thought out. Emma seemed to be irritated that Tessa was playing her and teaching at the same time. Emma thought out each move carefully before picking up her piece to move it.

Emma moved a piece then turned to look at Christy. "There should be a larger crowd tonight. Word has gotten out that you are being whipped."

Christy's lips tightened just a little, but she forced herself to focus on what Tessa was doing as Tessa moved another piece.

"Since Tessa had to discipline you yesterday, someone else will be taking the whip." Christy turned to look at Emma then. She could see the rest of the comment in those familiar eyes. She wondered if she'd orchestrated things so that she could be the one with the whip tonight. "To avoid complaints about Tessa not sharing a public domain slave, I'll be taking you to my room afterwards as well. I hope you have stamina, lots of stamina."

Christy's eyes became a little troubled as she considered what Emma meant. It might be a ploy to scare, but Emma might actually expect Christy to have sex with her.

Sex, not make love.

Christy had trouble concentrating for the rest of the chess game, but Tessa won of course.

………………

Christy was lead into the party early, but there was still a decent size crowd. Tessa held onto her collar as she walked Christy towards Emma, who looked a little more naked without her cloak. The cloak was draped over a chair. "Tessa, you can leave her with me and get the rope."

"Of course Emma." Tessa nodded just a little and she caressed Christy's shoulder gently as she passed.

"We still have a little longer." Emma moved forward and held out a pill and a glass of water for her. "So it isn't as sharp. It fuzzes the edges of reality, making it more bearable."

"I need to be able to concentrate." Christy hadn't told Emma about her powers. No one put a collar on her today because of it getting in the way of the whip, so she didn't have to hide it. "But thank you." It was an attempt to be nice after all.

Emma studied her carefully. "I was told you didn't have much in the way of powers."

"And I'm not Raven." Christy gave Emma a small smile. She felt strangely energized as she waited for this. This was a battle she could win, unlike the larger one she was losing. In this one small battle she could protect her double.

She'd been carefully pulling power in for hours, careful because she didn't know how easily this version of herself got glowing eyes. They weren't glowing yet.

Christy did take the glass of water from Emma and started to drink it. She needed water, and she'd been drinking as much of it as she could today.

"Mistress?" A voice interrupted the way Emma was watching her with a little curiosity and respect. Christy turned to see another woman dressed as a slave standing there waiting for Emma to acknowledge her. Her eyes narrowed and flashed just once in irritation. The woman looked nervously at her and that's when Christy realized that she wasn't playing slave very well in that moment.

Emma laughed. "Yes?" Emma moved a hand out to caress the new girl's cheek gently and Christy saw the glance in her direction, as well the small smile on Emma's face when she did that.

"Master Sebastian would like to tell you that he's created a bet based on at what lash she'll cry."

"Tell that bastard it isn't gonna happen." Christy spoke coldly, interrupting their conversation.

"I'm going to have to give you two more lashes for that disrespect." Emma said casually and then turned back to the new girl. "I'll find a suitable observer to let him know if and when she cries." The brunette slave in white walked away. Why was she in white? Did the colors mean anything? Christy looked down at her own black outfit again and thought about how it seemed like Tessa was her main… master.

"Did you notice how she called me Mistress?" Emma stepped closer and started to unlace Christy's corset. "Did that upset you? Are you a possessive slave?" Christy found herself being forced to look up into Emma's eyes. "Answer."

"I don't…" Christy sighed. If she said it bothered her this Emma might just make it worse. "I don't know how you can deal with this place. Are you high all the time?"

"Two more lashes." Emma spoke coldly and then pulled the corset away. Christy's jaw clenched as she heard a few people whooping, clearing watching this as her body was exposed for the room. The darkened corner wasn't dark enough. "Turn around and step up to the cross." Christy saw Tessa standing by the cross with rope in her hand. "Shoes off." Christy took a deep calming breath and leaned down, fully aware of eyes on her barely covered butt as she undid her shoes.

"Hey, the cross is an X, it should make her feel right at home." Someone called out.

"There is no one here but us. We are all that matter." Tessa spoke softly as she took one of Christy's arms to tie it to the frame. She looped the rope through the ring on Christy's cuff.

"Tessa dear, Sebastian wants someone watching for her to break. There are apparently bets on it." Emma's hand took Christy's other and Christy swore she heard a sigh. "Lovely pastimes we have here. Too bad I'm disqualified from betting, seeing as how I control the whip."

"I found out that Selene has a high opinion of Christy. She's bet a considerable amount on Christy lasting five lashes." Tessa spoke softly while squatting down to bind Christy's foot. "It might be better if she didn't last that long." It was a comment for Christy, that was certain.

"Our little slave thinks she can endure it all without breaking."

"That is impossible. The body starts to tear from pain, and from there it only takes a little more to turn it into sobs."

"I remember you didn't cry Tessa."

"I have a very disciplined mind. It's part of my mutation. Raven does not have that." Tessa stood up before Emma did, and Christy tugged lightly on her arms, she tried to close her legs. She was not able to move more than an inch.

"She says she is not Raven." Emma started to slowly run her hands over Christy's exposed back. In a stupid move of trust, Christy chose that time to push her power out a little, to create her protective layer of skin. "Oh my." She could hear the amusement in Emma's voice. "You should see if you can bet on her Tessa. We can get someone else to watch her."

"And how long should I say she can last."

"Christy thinks she can last the entire time."

Tessa walked around the cross so that she could look into Christy's eyes. "This will be much worse than the spanking."

"How many lashes do I need to do?"

"Emma?" Tessa asked.

"She's up to ten. That's twice what Selene thinks she'll last."

"Ten?"

"She's was a bad girl, and there were witnesses."

"Ten Christy." Tessa stared into Christy's eyes. "If you can't last I won't have enough points to challenge Selene for you." Tessa just studied her face. "I'm going to go make that bet, Emma. See if you can find someone that hasn't bet. You may end up having to pull the slaves into this."

"A mighty Xman." Someone was speaking. Christy could see Selene giving her a thoughtful look as the cross was wheeled out to the center of the stage. "Raven, has been acquired for our entertainment."

"It's show time girl." Emma spoke softy as she stepped away from the cross. Christy moved her hands enough to grab the rope she was being hung by in her hands. She stared into the face of a well muscled brunette man and a woman that could be his twin. Both were dressed as slaves and were there to see when it became too much for her. Christy took a deep breath and thought about her home world, about the laughing men that liked to torture women and what she'd been able to do to them, then, nearly powerless Christy had been a force to fear. She could do this. She could do this.

The first slash of the whip jerked her body forward and felt like fire as the feeling hit her a moment later. Christy gritted her teeth and sucked in more power. What she'd been doing wasn't enough. She concentrated on the thin layer of skin she'd created to protect her and tried something new, she tried to make yet another layer under that, one that was tougher. This was a new way to use her powers, she was used to being able to shape shift entirely, but all she could do was a quarter inch outside of the body now. Anything more would take more water and might be noticed. The second lash didn't hurt quite as much, but it did still hurt. Her own true form felt pain as well, she was just better able to deaden it.

Christy stared ahead at the red Christmas ornament hanging from the wreath, without really seeing it. She didn't acknowledging the slaves in front of her. Emma was moving the whip across her back quickly and far too skillfully for Christy to believe she hadn't done it before. A criss cross pattern seemed to exist by the time the third lash hit.

Christy absorbed her tears into her body with her powers.

"How many has that been Raven?" Emma's voice was loud and Christy ignored the shouts with wrong answers.

"Five Mistress." Her voice was rough. She swallowed and did her best to hold the protection over her back up. Mystique would be proud of her, too bad she didn't know.

"Slaves?"

"She's not crying Mistress." The twins even spoke at the same time.

"You aren't hitting her hard enough." A cold voice rose from the crowd. Christy couldn't see what was happening, but she could recognize Selene's voice and her irritation.

"I'm hitting her just as hard as I whip any slave." Emma's voice got colder.

"Sebastian." Selene protested.

"I'm sure Emma isn't pulling her whip, but Emma… hit her harder for the next five."

"Do you hear that slave?" Emma moved closer, her voice soft and yet dangerous.

"Yes Mistress."

"Will that break you?"

"No Mistress." Christy's voice got a little deeper as she claimed that. Christy's hands were sweating from the water she was having trouble holding to her form, so she readjusted her hold on the ropes. She took a deep breath and pulled harder on her power.

There was a clack of footsteps on the stage and Selene moved to stand in front of the two slaves to stare into her eyes.

"I can feel you pulling power into your body." Selene whispered.

Her body flinched as Emma hit her again, this time she had to clamp her jaw closed to keep the scream inside. Her muscles tensed and water started to drip down her arms. She could feel her back doing the same. Her breasts were pressed tight to the cross, but she could feel a trickle of water running between them.

She had to pull more power or she'd loose her water, her protective layer. She could hear the whoosh of another strike coming and she slammed her shield down, pulling fast, trying hard to keep her back covered.

"Like the sun." Selene spoke in a harsh whisper and Christy gasped as the lash hit her, at the same time she felt another attack. It felt like someone had reached into her body with an ice cold knife. "Tasty. You aren't a true predator, but you've so much potential." Selene whispered softly into her ear.

Christy closed her shield and clamped her jaw shut. Selene had now idea how much of a predator she really was. Her eyes moved up to glare at Selene defiantly. Why wasn't anyone forcing the woman back? "Trouble dear?"

"Monster." Christy whispered, her voice raw. Selene just laughed. The next lash had Christy's body jerking violently into the cross. Emma was strong. The sting after that lash told Christy she hadn't protected her double well enough. It wasn't the muted pain she had in the extra layer of flesh, it was sharp, radiating, breathtaking pain.

Could a body scar from this? Christy could imagine the pain of a constant reminder like that and didn't want to leave Raven with that.

With a sucked in breath Christy raised her head and glared at Selene with eyes that started to burn. She lowered her shield, trying to get more power before Emma moved to give her that next lash. Her body shook as Selene feasted on her, but she just gripped the rope so tightly her fingers went white and pulled more.

The lash burned and a squeak escaped her lips before she could stop it. Her eyes teared. Christy desperately focused on keeping those tears from falling, or Selene would own her. She told Tessa she could do this, she had to do it.

"Oh so close. Is she giving it to you better now?" Selene's voice rose. "How many more lashes do you get slave?"

Christy had to swallow hard. Her breath was coming in pants and she tried to calm her racing heart. "Three," It pained her to add the rest. "Mistress."

"Can you do three?" Selene moved closer.

"Yes Mistress." She didn't flinch as the woman moved to push some of the wet clinging hair out of her face, even though she wanted to jerk away.

"We will see." Selene turned abruptly. "Sebastian, I want the last two lashes." Her voice rose in a demand.

"It is my night." Emma's voice rose to protest.

"I will give you tomorrow night," Christy could still see Selene out of the corner of her eye. "I'm sure you can agree that tomorrow night will be eventful as well." Selene turned to grin wickedly at Emma. "Two lashes for a night. I won't even use my full strength and it isn't like she'll be able to do much tonight for you anyhow."

"Emma." Tessa's voice wasn't as loud, but it was closer, from the sounds of it next to Emma. Christy heard it easily. "Give her the two lashes." Christy's eyes fell to the slaves in front of her and the sympathy in their eyes. "And take Raven tomorrow night." That made it sound like tomorrow night would be its own level of hell, if Tessa was willing to let Selene whip her so that Selene didn't have her tomorrow night.

Tessa was trusting Christy not to cry. Christy's back straightened a little, as much as it could and she took a deep breath.

"My last one then." Emma warned, agreeing to the arrangement. Christy took another deep breath and gritted her teeth. She heard the whip move through the air and she felt the sting. It wasn't as bad as the last one. "But if she's useless to me tomorrow night as well, you'll never touch her again." Emma spoke coldly as Christy recovered from the hit.

She could hear the footsteps across the stage and Selene took her new post. Christy's eyes hardened and burned brighter. She ignored the siphoning of her power she felt going on and held on tight to the ropes, she focused on her back, trying to make the under layer of her two fold protective skin stronger.

"Well, you are an Xman, I should mark you as such." Selene spoke casually, with a hint of laughter in her voice. Christy heard the whip moving through the air and she knew this was the worst one yet even before it landed.

She screamed. She tried not to, but the shock of that much pain was too much. Her body shook and clenched. She felt the tears filling her eyes and she pulled desperately on her powers as she gasped and panted, as the pain took almost all of her awareness, she managed to pull the tears into her body. She could see the slaves staring into her glowing eyes, waiting for a tear to fall.

She did her best to unclench her jaw and give them a snarl. Vultures, waiting for her to break, well they'd all be waiting until hell froze over, because she wasn't going to.

"Thank you Mistress." She growled out between her teeth, it wasn't anything more than a comment to the room that she was still unbroken. She felt the lasting horrible pain and mentally apologized to Raven for not being strong enough to protect her. That one had gotten past her protection. She had to keep her mind away from that, because she felt tears threaten to fall because of her guilt about her failure.

"Oh, you're welcome slave. One more." Selene's voice was like honey, and that's when she knew this next one would be the worst probably anyone had received.

"Remember Selene, if she's useless to me, you won't get be touching her again." Emma warned and Christy didn't turn to see where the blonde was.

Christy took a shaky breath and focuses on what she wanted to cover her back, focused on the path she knew that last lash would take and she reformed the protection. It wouldn't be enough, she knew that, but it was something.

The whoosh in the air, the tension, had Christy's body trying to arch away from it before it landed, but she was tied, trapped. A knife couldn't possibly have hurt as much as it slashed across her shoulder blade and down to exit on her lower back. An X. Christy muffled her scream as much as she could, she ignored the leech sucking on her powers as she pulled enough in to make her eyes glow and absorbed the water on her face, arms, all that was falling, so that it wouldn't seem like more than sweat.

Her voice was rough, weak. "Thank you Mistress." She said between clenched jaws and her body weakened. Her grip failed. She fell and little and was hanging by her cuffs. Her shield came up, protecting her from Selene's occasional feedings off of her power.

"She did not cry." The twins spoke again as one. "Mistress."

"I guess you are stronger than I thought." Selene's voice was a harsh whisper in her ear. "But you are also delicious. What I did to you would have killed three normal mutants, you hold so much life." Christy didn't dare respond, she was trying to ignore the pain of Selene's hand resting on her back. It hurt. Christy could feel muscles spasming in her back, painfully rebelling against her spread eagle pose and the treatment it got.

Selene went quiet for a moment and Christy felt the brush of a mind against her shield, but she held it strong. The Black Queen turned and marched away, seemingly surprised. Christy barely paid attention to the click of heels on the stage. She tried to regain her footing and was so weak she could barely do it.

This didn't feel like much of a victory. Her tormenters weren't in pain, just her.

The twins rolled her cross off to the side of the stage and left here there. Christy barely raised her head, but she saw Tessa looking at her from across the room. Tessa had a group of people around her but she gave Christy a small nod.

"Now come the admirers." Emma's voice was soft. "People who want to touch your soaked skin and revel in the pain they know you felt." Emma finally turned a little to look into Christy's face. "Don't flinch and it will all be over soon enough. They can touch you anywhere they want, but they can't take off the panties. They can't strike you or damage you. You can't speak. If someone breaks the rules you can't remind them of the rules."

"I can't move." Christy whispered. "Stay with me?" She hated feeling helpless and she stared at Emma with wide, desperate eyes.

"I'll be around, but I do have business to attend to." Christy's head hung down again as Emma said that. She felt the tears that had threatened to fall making a come back. With a grimace she tugged at an arm, wishing she could wipe her eyes as a wet drop fell across her cheek and splashed on the cross.

……………..


	14. Hellfire 1 Part 3

500 Miles

Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

AUTHORS NOTE: non-con and other disturbing things. I've edited this to try and get it down to an R rating, but if you want to see the sentences I clipped you can see this story on xmenfemslash's yahoo group as well. They also get it a little sooner than 

She could feel Emma's eyes on her, but Christy didn't bother looking up. She took a deep breath and tried to steel herself for the next trial. Just touch. It was something the women here dismissed too easy, which was far from comforting if they considered this degradation minor. Touch meant something to Christy. Touch was about affection, love, but here it was about humiliation and power.

She could hear the crowd getting closer and she let her eyes unfocus. She was going to be as not there as possible.

"I still have that pill." Emma spoke softly.

Drugs. Christy's jaw clenched as she thought about her old views on how it wasn't right to avoid life like that. "Please," She whispered. "Mistress."

She noticed the white of Emma's cloak, but her eyes didn't focus. Seeing Emma's blue eyes would make this harder on her. She opened her mouth obediently and took the pill. The water Emma held to her mouth afterwards only half got into her mouth, the rest ran down her chin, but she didn't care. It wasn't like her skin wasn't wet already.

If it weren't for the crowd she felt closing in she would have asked for another glass of water. She was so thirsty from the trick she'd pulled during the whipping.

A pale well manicured hand reached up to caress her cheek. "You didn't cry when we whipped you. Why now?"

"Please Mistress." Christy's voice choked. The term Mistress was coming easier and easier every time she was forced to say it. "Please don't break me now. Later, if you have to, later. I need to get through this."

"Just asking a question would break you?" The soft hand caressed her so gently, like her own lover did. Two more large tears trailed down her cheeks.

"An Xman." She heard the familiar voice of the heckler and she barely managed to not sigh. Pretend it's someone else, Tessa told her. Someone she didn't mind touching her.

It wasn't Emma's well manicured hands she imagined. She couldn't bring herself to imagine her lover as the masses did this to her. It was Tessa. Tessa's gentle dominance, Tessa's compassion, that she thought about as they touched her, violated her by caressing her.

The drugs helped her maintain the illusion, but she did hear a few disappointed comments about how she wasn't responding, how it was like she wasn't even home. A few commented on how her back wasn't as damaged as they expected given Selene's reputation.

She stared at the garland and lights on the wall unblinking as someone ran a hand under the legs of her panties and cupped her ass. When fingers started to move towards her sex a tear fell and she heard laughter. Then a voice she knew well interrupted.

"You know the rules." Emma's voice was cold. The hands on her ass retreated. "You will not take what I have earned tonight." It sounded like possessiveness, so Christy's head raised just a little to see Emma standing with her arms crossed in front of her. "I think this is enough. Display time is over." Emma snapped her fingers and the twins were by her side. "Take her down and put her in my rooms. I'll be there shortly."

There was a groan of disappointment from the crowd, but Christy didn't fight her way back to reality. Her head hung back down, her eyes closed. The drugs kept her dizzy, but she was so grateful she had taken it. It helped her pretend she just didn't exist.

The touching stopped and Christy felt hands on her ankles. Fast hands that worked the knots that held her legs spread opened, hands on both ankles at once.

When the hands moved to her wrists, it was just one pair. Hands held her from under her armpits and she fell backwards into strong male arms. She could feel his bare skin against her own, but he felt warmer. "Can you stand?" A feminine voice asked and Christy felt a gentle touch on her arm. Her head just tilted to see the female twin, the other slave, looking at her. She just stared at her blankly. "Brother, you will have to carry her."

Blinking lights and green wreaths swam across her vision. Flesh slapping and groans reached her ears. The movement through the main room seemed like disjointed flashes of reality.

This drugged disconnection would have made the whipping easier, but not on the body. Emma was nice, in her own way. "I love Emma." She whispered and barely acknowledged the stiffening of the slave carrying her as they started to move to the exit of the room. No one moved to punish her for talking.

The halls echoed the female twin's footsteps. The man holding her made no sound. Christy finally realized that it was over and let her mind come back from its retreat as much as she could.

They were going down a new hall. "Mistress Emma likes silence." The female slave spoke. "Don't speak unless she tells you to. She will also not let any slave stay in her bed after you've serviced her, so you should sneak some pillows into the corner of the room and a blanket so that you can sleep." Christy's eyes narrowed as she realized that this slave knew this by experience.

"Sister, will you get the door?" The man holding her asked and Christy noticed they'd stopped in front of a door.

He laid her in the chair and Christy moved to sit back properly very gingerly, because the pressure on her back renewed the hurt. She pulled a pillow to her chest to cover her partial nudity, even though it was far too late to be modest. She used to walk around naked, her mutation covered her in clothes, but she'd never felt more naked than now. Not even when she was learning how to shift into clothes from Mystique.

The twins moved to the bed and pulled the sheets down on the large bed. Emma always liked large beds. Christy used to tease her that Emma was keeping the big bed for orgies, and now it looked like that might be true, because the twins removed their shoes. Then the man moved to help his sister remove her corset, untying the thing and pulling it away from her. Her eyes unfocused as she tried to stare at the twins, doing it almost on their own, and Christy had to concentrate to be able to see again. She was surprised by what they were doing and by her ability to just sit there and stare. The woman put her fingers under the waist of the small underwear he wore and lowered them. Christy managed to look away as he was exposed.

"You aren't ready." The woman spoke with a hint of teasing. "Mistress Emma won't like that."

"I guess you'll need to do something about that then, won't you Margot?" Christy could see his focus change out of the corner of her eye. "Too bad Mistress Emma didn't say I could have the new slave do it."

"So you don't want my mouth brother?" Christy grimaced as she heard that. It was so creepy, but she was thankful Emma hadn't volunteered her for that. She'd thought the public sex was bad, but right now she'd rather be watching those disgusting perverts than these.

"You know I do sister, but she's still untouched."

Margot laughed. "They were touching her more than enough today Brendan."

"That's different. Have you seen her pleasure anyone yet?"

"Slave, Xmen…" the woman called out to her. "Have you pleasured anyone yet?"

Even in her state, Christy wasn't stupid. "Mistress Tessa has had me." Used merchandise might lose some value and interest from the masses. She didn't want people trying to be the one to take yet another little piece of her soul. Better to claim Tessa already forced the issue, even though the kind woman hadn't used Christy like that.

If someone were going to, Christy knew she could do far worse than Tessa. But which would her own lover forgive more easily, if Christy were to have to do something more with Tessa or Emma's own double? The idea of a third choice made Christy sick. She had no delusions about the fact that it could happen, but her anxiety level was too high when she even considered that. No, what was happening was horrible, but it would be unbearable if it weren't for Emma and Tessa.

"Yes, Mistress Tessa." Margot sounded like she'd love to ask a question. Christy sighed and slowly moved to try and get to her feet. The twins could do whatever they wanted. God knows Christy couldn't stop anyone, but Christy wasn't going to be forced to watch. "What is she like?"

"Private." Christy had to put a hand out to steady herself. Her muscles were so weak. "I'm gonna go take a shower." Even if she had to sit down for it.

"Mistress Emma didn't mention a shower. If she wanted you to have one she would have told me." All the time Margot was talking Brendan was standing behind her with his hand cupping Margot's breasts, gently kneading them. "Mistress Emma was clear that we were supposed to put you in the chair to rest."

Christy opened her mouth to argue, but a memory of Emma so casually saying two more lashes when she argued earlier and how horrible those last two lashes were had her closing it again before she could say anything.

"So please sit. Mistress will be here soon." Margot seemed to do all the talking. Christy wondered what was supposed to happen when Emma got there, because she wasn't liking the direction this seemed to be going. Brendan chose that moment to lean down and start kissing his sister's neck.

"Just sit down. We outrank you and that's all you need to know." Brendan gave her a dismissive look. "We've been slaves here much longer. It's seniority."

Her eyes narrowed. She was so sick of being at the mercy of everyone. With a heavy sigh she sat back down, only then noticing she'd been arguing without a top on. She groaned as she got back up, her back was too sore for this, and moved towards the bathroom anyhow. "Need a shirt, no one brought my top."

"Again if Mistress Emma wanted you dressed she would have said something." Brendan took a hold of Margot and turned her around. "I'm not ready for the Mistress sister." He whispered loudly, ignoring Christy as he tried to bring the topic of sex back to the front.

Christy closed her eyes and shook her head from side to side. Please, god, she thought, I don't want to see an Emma with someone else. She picked her pillow up and hugged it to her chest again as she sat where she'd been assigned, making sure to not lean back. Her back was sensitive to any pressure and it felt like it might actually be bleeding a little. No one was concerned about checking that for her and she wasn't going to ask for it.

The door opened softly and Christy looked up to see Emma standing in the doorway for a moment, watching the scene in front of her, before turning to smirk at Christy's obvious discomfort.

"Don't let me interrupt you two." Emma spoke as she closed the door behind her. "Just keep going."

The groan Brendan gave off at that let Christy know they had.

Emma moved to the side of the chair, where Christy was trying to not watch. "Aren't they beautiful together?" Emma turned to watch the couple. Christy turned with a heavy sigh to see a panty clad Margot on her knees. It didn't look too beautiful to Christy.

She looked away. "Mistress, can I have a shirt?" It was better than saying that sight made her a little ill.

"No," Emma spoke distractedly while watching the couple. "And put that silly pillow down." Emma held out a hand and Christy was forced to hand over her pillow. She watched as Emma tossed it into the corner and then moved to sit in the small couch. "Watch them, and don't make that face. It would get you whipped if you did it at the party."

What face, she almost asked, but decided against it.

"Come here." Emma motioned toward her couch as the other two in the room moved towards the bed. Christy slowly, carefully moved to obey. Emma took that opportunity to put her foot on Christy's lap. The other followed. "The couch was just cleaned." Was all she gave as an explanation before turning back to the two people on the bed. "Watch."

She sat uneasily and watched as Brendan removed his sister's panties. She couldn't help but think of the brother she'd lost and how sick this was. Family didn't do this, they shouldn't. They saw each other as children, which should kill all passion.

"So wet sister dear." He spoke softly while touching Margot's sex slowly. Christy could smell the scent of sex in the air. Her fists clenched just a little and she sighed. She started to unfocus her eyes.

"Take my boots off." Emma commanded and Christy thankfully looked down, away from the display to look at the nearest boot. She didn't work overly fast as she did it either. She pretended to have to find it, but she knew exactly where that zipper was. She'd undressed her own lover once while her Emma wore this same outfit after all.

If these were the memories her Emma had of this outfit, orgies and debauchery like this, it was no wonder she'd been so reluctant to fulfill Christy's fantasy. That birthday present meant more knowing that. Christy would never have asked if she'd known about this place.

It was difficult to take the boots off while staying sitting, but Emma wasn't moving her feet so that Christy could get off the couch. She managed to pull the first one off and set it on the side of the couch before running a hand over the revealed flesh in a gentle massage.

"I didn't say you could caress me." Emma's voice held a note of amusement. "I said take off the boots."

"I'm sorry Mistress." Christy whispered and with a sigh started to move to take care of the second boot. Her Emma liked a gentle massage after her boots came off.

Once that boot hit the ground on the side of the couch Emma smirked at her. "You may caress my legs now if you'd like, but you need to watch them." Christy looked up to see the brother had moved to reciprocate on the blow job. Knowing Emma's eyes were still on her she carefully didn't let her face reflect her thoughts on that. Christy ran her hands over Emma's calf in gentle circles and let her mind think about that instead of what she was seeing.

She became aware of the staring, she could feel the eyes on her, and it took some work to not look back. It was just natural to look back.

Brendan stopped and crawled up Margot's body. Christy couldn't say she'd see a man from this angle before. He was very tones and muscular. For a man he wasn't unattractive at all. He could surely find someone other than his sister.

"You look deep in thought." Emma's other foot moved to gently shove Christy's shoulder. "Don't. Don't think, don't distract yourself, just watch. Have you ever seen a man and a woman together?"

"No," Christy watched him kissing Margot hungrily, "Mistress."

"Have you ever been with a man?"

"No." Christy risked a glance at Emma. "I…" Her words trailed off. Should she really reveal more that Emma could use against her? Emma gave her an impatient look. "I've only had two lovers, two girlfriends. I never…" Her eyes moved back to the couple having sex on the bed. "I've never wanted a man."

Emma chuckled. "Practically virginal in comparison around here." Christy blushed a little, more focused on the discussion than the way Margot's legs were parting. Wait a minute.

"Shouldn't he put on a condom? I mean…"

"All women here are required to be on birth control." Required. That didn't sound good for any woman here really, Mistresses included. This was the most sexist place Christy had ever really seen. "But you aren't on birth control are you?" Emma seemed to be thinking out loud.

"Most likely not." Christy's words stopped as he entered Margot for just a moment. "but I don't know. My real body isn't capable of pregnancy anymore, but this Raven hasn't changed like I did and I don't know how controlling this Xavier is. He might actually plan for his Xmen to be," Christy's voice got quieter. "raped."

"I seriously doubt he plans for that."

"You'd be surprised to know what a bastard he really is. He's let operatives get raped before." Christy thought of Tessa when she said that. "Whatever is necessary for his fucking dream."

"Oh God Brendan." Margot called out and Christy saw the woman cling to him. This was surreal, watching this. What was worse was that Christy was getting used to it. It still wasn't sexy, but it didn't make her cringe anymore either.

"It sounds like the Xavier from your world is a real piece of work." Emma sighed. Christy didn't bother to explain that she'd been talking about this one, although the one from her home was his own type of bastard. "If you end up servicing a man, tell me as soon as possible so we can try to prevent any lasting effects."

"You mean other than the trauma and nightmares?" Christy's voice held a bit of a growl. Emma didn't move to discipline her for that.

Emma's voice rose. "Brendan, Margot. Pick a new position, this view is getting tiresome." Christy was a little stunned as Emma talked Margot into getting on her knees facing them with Brendan behind her. Now they'd be watching Christy as Christy was forced to watch them.

"Not my bum brother dear, not yet." Margot smiled naughtily at Christy. Every time they said sister or brother Christy was forced to remember exactly what she was watching, and it looked like Margot liked to creep her out like that.

He slowly entered her and the look on his face showed that this position was good for him. Christy took on a deep breath

"Don't sigh." Emma's voice was hard. Her voice rose a little, not that it would need to since they were so close to the bed and the two slaves were still paying attention. "Watch Christy." She ordered the others. Christy's eyes widened a little at the two suddenly watching her and it reminder her she was only wearing her panties. The thrusting started and Christy felt like she'd like to be invisible as the two having sex watched her reactions. She had to carefully not let any of her discomfort and disgust show.

In battles, during interrogations she'd conducted, Christy was able to keep a poker face. She was used to using it to cover her reaction to killing and other cold things she'd done in the past to survive. She'd ripped a rapist apart in her own world without showing how much she hated the smell of blood and how the screams bothered her. She'd carved into men to try and get information out of them while making it look like she thought it was amusing, instead of showing the horror she really felt. Christy pulled up that skill now. Her face became impassive, as if whatever she saw didn't concern her in the least. Her eyes grew colder and indifferent. Her back, though still hurting, became straighter.

"Fascinating." Emma spoke. "You're starting to carry yourself like a Mistress. Don't do that." Christy felt confused at that. How could she not do that? "It will be taken as arrogance in a slave and you'll be punished." Emma's instruction seemed to surprise the two slaves. Perhaps Emma was supposed to just hit her for it. The slaves quickly covered up their surprise and continued with what they were doing. It did serve to let Christy know those two were really paying attention to her now. They'd been a little oblivious to the conversations before.

Christy attempted to find a compromise. To keep the arrogance Emma claimed she had away while still masking her emotions.

Margot came. Her brother came shortly after and then both lay panting on Emma's bed spent. Christy managed to show none of what she really felt about seeing that. She'd had to watch every detail, every move, listen to every pant and pleading for release.

"They aren't actually brother and sister." Emma whispered in her ear. "It is just a game they play. Incest bothers a lot of people, and around here it intrigues quite a few as well. If you can learn to watch while thinking you were watching siblings, then maybe you'd do better during the more wild days of the party. Your experiences are rather vanilla compared to the other people around here, and sometimes even my stomach is turned." Emma then licked Christy's earlobe gently. "Now they get to watch you. I'm going to have Margot help you shower, because I doubt you could stand long enough to do it yourself. Brendan will watch. He may even be touching himself while he watches, and you will not try to hide from him."

Christy found she was able to ignore the hands that washed her. Her eyes caught the man watching and she just moved to lean back and rinse her hair out. After everything else, this seemed a mild punishment. She ignored them while she pulled power and tried to recover faster from what Selene had done to her.

The soap stung as it ran over her back. Again, she didn't flinch. When she came out of the bathroom the sheets had been changed and a blanket from the bed had been tossed into the corner of the room. She suspected it was Margot that collected the pillows for her before the other two slaves left. Christy had finished getting ready for bed on her own.

"You sleep there. I won't coddle you like Tessa does." Emma dropped her own robe and stood naked in the room. "Tonight I will let you rest." The tone said it was a small reprieve just for the one night. "Oh, and don't contradict the twins if you hear them talk about the night they had to others. They really believe we had an orgy, I modified their memories." Emma smirked at her. "I do have an image to maintain." And how much of it was just image? Christy wondered. She'd never actually seen this Emma do anything with other people. It made Christy feel a little better about this version of the woman she knew.

As Emma slipped into her large and lonely looking bed Christy had to force herself to look away. She would have preferred to share that bed. She curled up carefully on the pillows and tried to sleep. She pulled the blanket over her body to cover up her own nakedness. Emma didn't believe in wearing clothes to bed for either of them apparently. When Emma turned off the lights, the bathroom light seeped into the room keeping it from being completely dark.

Flashes of helplessness and memories of the night made it so that it took a long time to finally sleep.

………………….

In the morning, or what she assumed was morning since this was yet another room without a window, Christy woke up to a sound. The pillows had shifted in her sleep and she was sleeping more between them than on them. Her muscles ached and protested as she sat up, listening harder for whatever woke her.

Emma's breathing had changed. Christy tilted her head a little and enhanced her hearing. It was faster, there was another sound. Christy blushed as she recognized the less obvious sound, the sound of fingers on wet flesh.

Christy's breathing became a little faster as well, and she knew she shouldn't but she left her hearing enhanced so she could listen. A soft moan escaped the blonde's lips and Christy thought she sounded so much like her Emma when she was aroused, but not quite getting what she needed.

The sound of sheets moving filled the room and Christy stared up towards the bed in the dark. She could see a knee raise the blankets up and Emma shifted her body for better access. She'd been tempted with Scott's Emma, but this one, this one was driving her mad. Christy bit back a moan of her own as she heard the soft sounds of Emma's skilled fingers moving more quickly.

"Christy." The voice startled her, and it sounded like yelling to her enhanced ears even though it must have been spoken normally. Christy fixed her hearing and heard the rest without it hurting. "I need relief." Emma's voice was a little deep, and very commanding. "Come here."

The blanket and sheets flew up and off of the blonde's body. Christy just stared, unable to move for just a moment. Her Emma would forgive her this wouldn't she? It had been so long since she'd touched her lover, and every night had been so hard.

"Get over here slave." The telepath's voice was a little harsher. Christy stood up and hesitantly moved towards the bed. Emma spread her legs, showing Christy her heated flesh. "Take care of this." It lacked so much of the affection and heat her own Emma showed. It seemed like this White Queen was ordering a coffee, not sex.

Even so, Christy breathed in deeply and smelled a familiar need. This woman was just using her, but Christy moved to crawl up that bed, putting her face between creamy thighs. "That's it slave," Emma spoke as she readjusted her legs, opening further. "service me." Those two words held a note of need, which was most likely something Emma tried to keep hidden, as if her weeping sex didn't reveal it.

She should have fought it, but Christy lowered her mouth. She was angry at herself for actually wanting to do this. Her body rested on the bed and Christy moved slowly, wanting this to last.

"No," A strong hand gripped her head and pulled her closer. "Just do it. I can't sleep."

Christy gripped the sheets as her own sex throbbed. She moved to obey and the telepath's sucked in breath made her smile just a little. Christy knew Emma's body far better than this Emma realized. The surprised gasp had Christy increasing her efforts to please.

It didn't take long before her lover's body arched, but she didn't scream. She made no noise except a desperately sucked in breath. That was different. Christy had been looking forward to the sound.

"Thank you." Emma sighed. "Go back to bed." Christy moved onto her knees and looked at Emma in disbelief. A pale hand moved to wave her to the corner. "You've served me well. You are definitely promising."

"But…" Christy's body shook with need. Emma's eyes opened to study her, she could see Emma glancing at her now shaved sex, and taking in her stiff nipples.

"Don't make me punish you, because if I have to get out of this bed I will really punish you." Christy took a step back and felt some of her ardor cool. This was so very not her Emma. Her Emma wouldn't have dismissed Christy's need.

And what was she thinking trying to encourage this Emma to touch her? Trying to be so good she'd get a bone tossed her way. When had they broken her so much that she'd think it was okay to do this? Her guilt increased and she thought of her Emma.

She moved the pillows back into place and reluctantly laid back down. After a moment her hand found her own sex, her wetness, and she took measures to try and deal with the ache of need. She moved quietly as she ran her finger over her sex lightly. She still needed it. The touch and taste of her new Mistress was too intoxicating after so long without.

Her breath caught as she got close. Just a little more. Her body begged her for it.

"I didn't say you could touch yourself." Emma's voice was cold, commanding. "If I don't deem you worthy of release, you don't seek it out yourself."

With a whimper Christy pulled her hand away. Part of her wanted to just beg for Emma to reconsider, but she wasn't that broken. She wasn't going to beg.

She listened as Emma's breathing calmed. She stayed still, her body humming, until she heard the soft cadence of breathing that told her Emma was asleep. That's when Christy disobeyed, keeping her jaw clenched to keep down her moans as she took herself. She carefully lowered her shield, fully aware that it made her vulnerable to Selene, because she needed release. She got it.

…………………

That afternoon Christy felt the tension in the room. Tessa and Emma were quiet for long a period of time as they played chess. Having lived with a telepath for two years, Christy knew they were talking and planning where Christy couldn't hear them. Neither looked very happy.

When Christy was dismissed to use the bathroom she enhanced her hearing again. She'd learned it was the best way to find out things.

"I don't really care for public displays Tessa. Are you going to tell me why I agreed to this?"

"It will be easier on her if you are the one telling her to do it."

"And we are all about making this easier on our prisoner aren't we?" Emma sounded irritated and Christy didn't like the callousness. Christy moved her hands through the short hair and tried to figure out how to get it to look like Raven seemed to like it.

"Did you really force her to service the Twins last night? I thought I sensed some tampering with that memory."

"Fine." Emma sighed overly heavily. "Tonight's game is a roll of the dice. That's up to twelve Tessa." Christy's eyes drew together in confusion. "You might want to make a few calls, invite a few more people." There was a pause. "Women."

"I'll get on that right away. Checkmate."

"Why do I even bother." Emma sighed and Christy opened the door to see Tessa standing up. She'd hoped that the woman would stay longer. Emma had ignored her for much of the morning after, well after. If she hadn't spent that time trying to pull power she'd have just been staring at the wall.

Tessa just nodded to her briefly and left. No words.

"I have work to do." Emma stood up. "Come." Christy was really getting tired of being talked to like she was a pet, one that wasn't liked all that much.

Emma took her to an office and Christy got to sit in the corner on the floor while Emma worked on her computer for hours. She was bored, but she didn't wish for anything to happen. She wasn't stupid. She occasionally wished she could help Emma with whatever she was working on, just so that she'd have something to do.

Christy entered a staring contest with some medieval gargoyle statue on a shelf, staring blankly at it until a voice startled her out of her trance.

"Come."

Christy moved to Emma's side and noticed the pills sitting on the desk. She watched as Emma took one and then took a deep drink of her glass. "Want one?" She held it out for Christy to take. When Christy hesitated Emma sighed and turned towards her more. "I can tell you that you do want one. Tonight is going to be even more fun that last night." Sarcasm was thick in her voice.

"What's going to happen?" Christy finally asked. "Mistress." She remembered to add that at the last moment.

Emma's smile was forced. "Tonight people are eagerly filling the hall in hopes that they will be the lucky winner of an Xmen blow job. Actually they are hoping for more, but that's what they'll be getting."

Christy's face went pale. "No." She whispered in a broken voice.

"So, how about that pill?" Emma held it up again. "Then you can pretend the whole night was a dream."

"Can you get me out of here?" Christy swallowed hard.

"No, unfortunately not." Emma picked up Christy's hand and put the pill in it. "It's show time in a half hour. This pill will take that long to really work." As Christy took it Emma handed Christy her glass of water. "It's really not all that bad. Just a little oral time and you can go back to my room while the others gloat about making a hero service them. It's Raven's reputation that will be taking the hit, not yours."

Christy just let out a disgusted breath.

A half hour later Christy was led into the hall. Her heart hammered and the floor seemed to sway just a little, like she was on a boat, but she knew it wasn't really doing that.

The hall was full, more full than she'd ever seen it. Emma moved to sit at a table, taking a seat at the end beside Sebastian. On his other side was Selene. Tessa stood behind him and to the right. Right hand man, woman, whatever, Christy thought as she stared for a moment at a woman that wasn't looking back at her.

"Kneel." Emma pointed to a spot on the floor and Christy moved to kneel. She almost lost her balance as she did it, but she covered it up and managed to get down without falling on her face.

There was talking. She wasn't really following what was being said. Emma had decided Christy might like two pills today, but the effort to not look like she was about to pass out was difficult.

Emma took two but she looked fine. How long had she been popping pills? Christy's eyes risked glancing up at the White Queen for a moment. Emma did look fine. Didn't her mother die of an overdose? Christy's eyebrows drew together as she considered that. Not this Emma, Christy's Emma's mother died. Too many pills. Oh, Christy's Emma wouldn't like that Christy was taking pills.

Christy's Emma would have gotten her out of here instead of dragged her here to be used. Christy sighed and listened to the cadence of a voices

Christy kept her head down but she watched the crowds mull about. Saw people talking in groups, laughing, and looking towards her. The crowd at the bar started to thin.

"Raven." Emma's voice was quiet but firm. "Stand." That proved easier said than done, but Christy tried to cover up how much she needed to lean on the table to do it. A pair of dice were handed to her and Christy suddenly understood the earlier comment. "Roll"

The dice moved across the main table and sat awkwardly on their corners for just a moment too long to be natural before settling down.

"Hardly subtle Selene." Emma spoke coldly.

"And yet I never touched the dice in play, so it's a valid roll. Hopefully Xmen have stamina." Christy just stood staring at the pair of sixes in horror, which she had to remind herself to hide. Twelve. She swallowed hard and raised her eyes enough to see Selene smirking at her, and the blown kiss the dark haired bitch sent her way.

Christy's fists started to clench as she debated about whether she could manage to get over there and hit the Black Queen before anyone could stop her. Not the way she was feeling so wobbly, no.

Emma motioned for her to lean down and then grabbed her collar's ring. "Twelve. You will do your best to finish them quickly, and no matter who I have you kneel in front of don't show any reaction." Emma paused. "The Hellfire club may not have twelve eligible women here for this. I may have to select some men. Whatever you do, don't bite."

Christy's stared with wide eyes at the blonde telepath's face, pleading with her eyes for Emma to fix this. There was only a brief look of pity before the White Queen seemed to close off to her. "Jacqueline." She called out. "Take the seat."

Christy recognized the woman Tessa had let touch her as she smiled and moved to sit at on chair, a rather ornate one, that was brought out and put in front of the table that Emma and the others sat at. It faced the crowd.

Christy took a deep breath, but was careful to not sigh. Twelve. God, when she got home it would be so hard to tell Emma about this. I'm sorry Raven, Christy thought to the woman trapped inside of her, if you can think about other things do it. It was bad enough one of them had to do this, there was no reason her double would have to suffer it as well. Christy wished she knew more about how that worked.

Emma stood up and slipped a finger through the ring on Christy's collar. "Come." Christy followed carefully as Emma led her to the chair. "Kneel." It was pretty clear where she was supposed to do that.

Just get it done with quickly, she told herself as she kneeled between Jacqueline's legs. She noticed the woman had taken the time to remove the panties and hung them on the arm of the chair.

Emma's hand ran over Christy's hair gently petting her. "Service her." Emma ordered, her voice not showing the tenderness her touch did. Emma's hand moved away as Christy moved forward a little more and leaned in to a stranger's sex. She'd eaten more disgusting things to survive, and while that was completely different she kept that in mind as she tasted a woman she didn't want to be anywhere near. Survival, she was nothing if not a survivalist, and this wouldn't break her.

Somehow this hurt more. Maybe it had something to do with knowing she'd have to live with this, that both of her would have to live with this. She could hear the common jeers and the people trying to get the White Queen's attention, asking to be the next one.

Once Jacqueline finished the woman pushed Christy back a little. "Sit back so that she can leave slave." Emma commanded and Christy moved further back, her eyes and expression blank as she tried not to feel. The hand starting to pet her head gently while they waited for Jacqueline to put her panties back on and move gave Christy an anchor to hold it together as another name was called. Another woman and how sad was it that she was grateful for that, if a man was called she wouldn't know what to do.

"An Xman." The woman in the chair smirked. "How the mighty have fallen. Hurry up slave."

"Yes Mistress." Christy wished she could respond to the derision in this woman's voice with something else. A brief glance at Emma and seeing Emma nod was all she waited for. She just wanted to get this over with and go hide.

This woman came a bit more quickly than Christy thought possible. She managed to not smile as she sat back for her to leave. The next woman was equally fast. It started to seem suspicious, but it was in Christy's favor so she didn't question it.

The slow clack of heels behind her as Christy waited for the fourth woman to sit down drew her attention. She listened to the footsteps move next to Emma, where no one was allowed to wait. "Now who's being less than subtle Emma?" Selene's voice spoke softly. "Are you that eager to get her alone that you're rushing the poor ladies?"

"The rules simply say no one can touch either of them while the game is in play." Emma continued to pet Christy's hair. "You're the one who likes literal interpretations of the rules. If you pushed for twelve, I can push for faster." Christy realized that the blonde telepath had been helping her and it almost brought tears to her eyes as she was touched by the kind move.

"I'll let you continue with your little game and not call foul if you call my name." Christy's body tensed a little as Selene said that. She forced it to relax. Selene scared her in a way these other women she was forced to serve didn't. "You did notice there aren't twelve eligible women here didn't you? How many men do you think the notorious lesbian Xman can serve?"

"Fine, you keep quiet and I'll call you as twelfth." Christy kept her eyes carefully staring forward, but she couldn't hide the shudder her body gave from the hand petting her head. Men and Selene. Her vision faded as yet another woman prepared and she heard the music. I'll Be Home for Christmas was playing in the background. God, the lyrics hurt. She wished she was home.

Even with Emma's help her jaw was already very tired by the ninth woman. Once that woman was done she wished she could rub her aching muscles. This had long since stopped being a sexual act to her, this was just an assembly line. It almost reminded her of her first job at Burger King, doing burger after burger without really thinking about it. Just a job. Thinking of it that way helped. She refused to let herself worry about what she knew was coming. She sat rigidly and waited for the next name.

"Sebastian." The one word rattled around in Christy's mind and her heart started to pound. Why not Tessa? Were they out of women already? Why not Tessa? She didn't really want to service Tessa like this, meaning nothing, but Tessa was so much better than Sebastian.

A cold familiar voice was behind them, this time without the footsteps. "Your slave doesn't look too happy. Does she even know what a penis is?" Selene laughed. Christy tried to cover her reaction better, before she got punished for it.

"Actually, she might not." Emma wasn't joking. A white clad knee came into Christy's field of vision and a finger ran under her disgustingly wet chin to force her eyes up. Christy swallowed nervously as she stared at Emma. "I don't have time to teach you, but don't bite down. Sebastian lashed the last women to do that so badly she had to be taken to the hospital." Christy's eyes were wide, asking why she was being forced to do him then. Emma didn't want her seriously hurt, she knew that now. "He's the Black King. If you were going to have to do men, he had to come first." There was a snort of amusement from Selene at the wording. The moment of compassion in those ice blue eyes faded and Emma stood up again.

Sebastian moved to sit while wearing all his clothes. Christy heard the clasps being undone and could see even as she stared down at the ground like a good little slave that he was pulling his sex out of the fly. "I want pictures of this." His voice was amused. "to put up in my office. An Xman on her knees servicing me. I might even get her to sign it." There was laughing and Christy couldn't stop the blush of shame that came to her face.

"Don't worry, we have pictures of everyone she's done." Another voice spoke and Christy felt a new shame enter her being. Proof that her double would have to live with forever. She hadn't felt like such a failure in a long time. "but if you want close ups…"

"Sure, come up here." Sebastian waved the man closer. "I want a good shot of her mouth on me, and some distance shots so that it's clear who it is she's doing." A slight shudder went through her body, but she did her best to hide it.

"Can we just get to this Sebastian, without all the fanfare?" Emma sounded irritated and impatient.

"I am the first man this woman ever touched. I think it deserves a little fanfare." He laughed and Christy noticed the cameraman out of the corner of her eye, taking a picture of her kneeling pose.

"Come." Sebastian's voice got deeper and more commanding. "Service." He pointed to his penis and Christy finally looked up to see it. Her eyes widened a little and he smiled coldly at her. She was really going to have to do this. The constant clicking of the camera was something she had no luck blocking out as she moved into place. She had to move higher to get to him.

Her mind tried to distance herself, but she couldn't. She couldn't pretend this was anything but a man. She couldn't pretend that this was a lover, it was too different from anything she'd ever known to hide this experience among more pleasant ones, like Tessa taught her. A tear fell from her eye as she attempted to take him into her mouth like she'd seen Margot do to Brendan and the click of the camera told her that it was caught on film. Sebastian got the picture he wanted.

When he tensed up he grabbed her head and held it down, shoving her further than she could handle. She couldn't breath. When he finally let go she gasped in breath. Her face was reddened from the oxygen depravation.

"I should punish you for trying to pull away." He glared at her.

"Really Sebastian, like she would have known what to do." Emma's voice was both weary and cold. "You practically suffocated the poor girl. She doesn't have experience." Christy just stared down at the floor trying to get enough air and hating the foreign and unfamiliar taste in her mouth. Her body was shaking and she tried to stop it, but she wasn't having much luck.

She'd taken pride in the fact she'd never been forced to do this before. In her home world, civilization fell apart and many women were raped, but Christy was too strong and too smart to get caught. It wasn't strength or intelligence it was luck, and her luck ran out. It was the same that the women here made her do already, but she was more shaken by this. She tried to tell herself that she was almost done, but the thought of another man in that chair, another man holding her down so she couldn't breathe, worried her. What would they do if she actually passed out because she couldn't breathe? How bad would that punishment be? It actually made her look forward to Selene.

The second man was much smaller and he came shortly after Christy put her mouth around him, earning some chiding of his own, but freeing the seat for the last of the dozen. It was almost over.

Selene moved regally to the chair. She spread her legs and then stared at Christy expectantly. "You may worship me now." Selene smirked at her. "Lets see if your stamina holds up to someone who can last more than a few minutes, like poor Vinnie over there. Did he even last a minute?" Selene teased the young man mercilessly as if she didn't know Emma did that to him telepathically for Christy. Somehow Christy doubted that Emma's trick would work on the Black Queen.

Christy lowered her eyes and waited for the comforting touch of her hair right before Emma told her. "Do it." Christy moved forward and glanced at the Black Queen's sex, opened and waiting for her. Last one.

"Come now little sister." Selene spoke teasingly. "Show me what you can do, little spider."

Christy leaned forward but Selene reached out a hand and moved to press the side of Christy's head into her thigh, stopping her progress. "Wait, little spider sister. You like waiting for it don't you? You don't hunt for what you need." Christy stayed still, a bit confused by the change. Her face rested on Selene's inner thigh and she could smell the dark haired Queen's sex. Selene whispered. "A real predator wouldn't be on her knees like this, but you prefer it that way don't you little spider. You shine like the sun, but your little web can't save you here."

The hand let go and Christy looked up into Selene's eyes in confusion. Her power wasn't the same as Selene's, the monster couldn't judge her for it not being the same. Christy kept her shield up as high as possible, sure that if Selene could feed on her she would. When no other protest was offered she moved in closer to Selene's sex, almost expecting it to be cold like death, but the woman was definitely alive.

Selene's hand wove into her hair, holding her tightly and keeping Christy from being able to get close enough to do much. Her tongue ached with the effort to keep licking that far from her, slowly and Selene insured lightly, Christy flickered at the other woman's sex. "I've had many worshippers, I was the Moon Goddess. Worship me properly." Selene let her get a little closer. "You could have been a Goddess yourself a few thousand years ago, a Sun Goddess I think, a Death Goddess like me." Fingers ran through Christy's hair. She hated how Selene kept talking, how it made it impossible to just do the job and go on. She had to listen. "But you aren't a predator, you're weak. You're nothing but prey."

Christy's fists clenched as she fought the urge to show this woman the predator she kept inside.

As Christy more slowly took care of Selene she let her mind wander away from the derision in her voice. She could hear Favorite Things playing on the stereo and she almost laughed. Simply remember her favorite things and then she won't feel so bad? That was her whole strategy for surviving this. She didn't even realize when she started to slowly move to the music, her tongue matching the song, but Selene's sudden laughter brought her attention to it.

"Tongue dancing little spider? You are precious." Selene's grip became like iron, "but I think I should take offense to you're lack of attention to me. You shouldn't even notice the music." Christy moved to suckle on Selene's clitoris quickly, her only real self defense here. She had the Black Queen leaning back again and letting her bring her off more quickly.

The Black Queen laughed after she came. "Oh little spider, I will so enjoy tomorrow night." Christy sat back at her waiting space. "The night I own you. Try to get some rest tonight, because you will need it little sister." Selene didn't even bother putting her panties back on. She just grabbed them and sauntered out of the room.

"Stand." Emma ordered her and Christy tried, she really did, but her legs were almost numb from kneeling for so long. She was unsteady as she stood and soon found the twins helping to hold her up. "Take her to my rooms and bathe her before putting her in my bed and leaving. I'll be there soon."

She did manage to walk out of there, trying her best to ignore the cat calls and requests for freebies. A familiar black clad form was standing in the hall. "I'll take her." Tessa spoke to the two slaves helping to hold her up. "Go back to the party."

"Yes Mistress Tessa." Margot spoke and moved away, making room for Tessa to get closer.

"I ran a bath for you." Tessa spoke so gently and Christy reached over and pulled the dark haired woman into a hug, resting her cheek on Tessa's shoulder.

"Oh God Tessa." Her voice cracked. Christy felt distanced and she found words just spilling from her lips while she wasn't controlling it. "That was horrible."

"Let's go to my rooms." Tessa started them walking and Christy's body moved with her.

"You weren't there, Tessy."

"Raven?" Tessa glanced at her and Christy tried to shake her head but nothing happened. "Raven, it was you? I just didn't want to see, to always remember…"

"I see and feel everything Tessa, but she's so strong, it's so hard to overcome her to talk. If it wasn't for watching the Professor's lessons I couldn't do it." Tears trailed down her cheeks and Christy felt a wave of painful guilt as she realized what happened. This was Raven talking. Tessa's hand moved to caress her cheek. When the dark haired woman leaned forward Raven turned her head. "I'm dirty Tessa. I'm too dirty to touch you." Her words were broken and pained.

Christy's ears roared and she stepped back while blinking in shock. She moved her hand and it moved. She was back in control. "Not your lover?" Christy's eyes narrowed as she studied Tessa, who was quickly becoming more businesslike and stiff.

"Let's get to my room Christy." Tessa moved forward again to help Christy make the stairs. The silence was painful as they made it the rest of the way. Christy was torn about what to think about, Raven's visit or the horrible night they'd endured.

Tessa opened her bedroom door and waited for Christy to go in. Christy opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't know what to say. Tessa just motioned for the bathroom. "Get in the bath. I'll be there in a moment."

Christy stepped into the large bathroom and took in the scented water and heat in the room. She slowly undid her clothes, as she heard Tessa trying to cry quietly in the other room. Christy felt like she was the rapist at that moment, and the guilt was painful. She moved to wash her face in the sink, and wash, and wash. She couldn't take this away. Her tears started to fall and she muffled a sob. She couldn't take this away.

"So sorry Raven, so sorry." She muttered, staring at her tearful reflection. "So sorry Raven." Hands moved to touch her shoulders and Christy turned to move into Tessa's hug. "I didn't mean to do this to her. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to go home, I didn't mean to."

"Shh." Tessa ran her hands through Christy's hair soothingly. "Shh… It's okay. She has to know you didn't do this on purpose. I know."

"I'm sorry Tessa." Tessa could claim it wasn't true from now until the end of time, but Christy believed in her heart, which was borrowed, that Raven loved Tessa.

"Let's take that bath," Tessa ran gentle hands over Christy's arms, "before it gets cold." Tessa stepped back and unfastened her cloak. "I'll join you." Christy glanced at the large tub, it could fit them both.

"That would be nice." Christy nodded as she spoke. It would be nice. She could use the comfort, but she felt like a thief taking it when it obviously wasn't hers. She might have declined on principle alone, but Raven said she felt everything. Raven could use Tessa's arms around her.


	15. Hellfire 1 Part 4

500 Miles – Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sexual situations, I did edit it down from the xmenfemslash yahoo group version to try and make it R rated. I'd like feedback, is anyone still reading this?

Christy knew that if the situation were different she wouldn't be able to take her eyes off of Tessa's beauty as the woman stood naked in front of her. She knew she'd feel drawn to her in spite of her love for another and it wouldn't entirely be because of the woman hidden inside this body that she felt that way. If things were different, but they weren't and Christy just wanted to be held.

Tessa moved to step into the large fragrant tub. Her pale hand held out in an invitation to join her and to help Christy get in. Christy stared for just a moment as she felt something she hoped wasn't hers. The slight thump of her heart and the heat in her skin were familiar feelings.

"You are so good to me." Christy spoke softly as she took the offered hand. She gripped it more tightly than necessary as she stepped into the hot water. It was a shock to her skin, but it felt nice. "If I had to be…"

"Shhh…" Tessa gave her a small smile and moved to sit with her back up against the tub wall. "Sit down, I'll wash your back."

Christy really wanted to say this. "There are worse things in the world than being your slave, Tessa. I think both of us feel like that, both of me." She moved to gently lower her body into the hot water.

"Does your back still hurt?" Tessa ignored the words Christy had spoken. Her hands moved gently over the back in question. "I don't think you will scar, which is a good thing."

"It's sore." Christy leaned her head forward. It felt strange to not have hair long enough to have to be swept to the side for Tessa to inspect the marks left from the night before. "I'm glad you weren't there." Christy spoke softly as she felt hands caress and massage her back. "If… when… it would mean something with you. It wouldn't be like that, just…" Christy was frustrated at her inability to find the words without saying something she shouldn't. "Tessa, it should always mean something. I don't understand how they can…" Her words trailed off because she didn't want to put words to what just happened.

"It's good you don't understand." Tessa spoke softly while moving a washcloth over Christy's shoulder. "It means your Emma is treating you right." Christy shuddered a little at the thought of her lover, the thought of her Emma knowing what happened here. The thought of her lover sensing Christy's feelings at this moment also worried her. "What's your Emma like?" Tessa asked gently, almost sounding like a teacher trying to gently encourage a little girl to talk.

"She's…" Christy took a deep breath. "She's so strong and smart. She's… she really cares about what she does. She works so hard, no one realizes how hard she works." It was hard to find words for anything today. Christy sat in the water feeling another woman caress her bare back as she tried to find words to show this Tessa how much she cared about her Emma. "God, she's going to be devastated." Christy's back slumped. "She's so protective of me." Christy's throat felt tight as she remembered how it felt to be in Emma's arms, how her Emma held her and let her cry for her dead world.

"You seem to inspire those type of feelings." Tessa's hands moved to squeeze Christy's shoulders, then pull her a little closer.

"It isn't like I'm helpless." Christy stared at the water in shame. "Normally I'm not this weak. I'm a force to be feared. People get out of my way." Her fist gripped a wandering washcloth and squeezed it hard. She missed that power, the power to stop people from hurting her.

"Turn around." Tessa spoke clearly and it seemed like she was dismissing the conversation. Christy did what she'd been told. There was no point in not doing what Tessa told her anymore. She kneeled on the tub floor facing Tessa with her eyes turned down, in the pose she'd been forced to keep for most of the night when she wasn't forced to do other things. "Look at me." Again it was a command and Christy looked up. "What do you see?"

Christy saw a gorgeous woman with amazingly pale skin and long black hair she rarely let down, but should. She saw the most intelligent woman she'd ever met. She saw someone she wanted closer, someone she felt safe with. Those were all things she should keep to herself. With a forced slight smile she answered. "I see Tessa."

"Okay, so now we know your eyes work." Tessa gave her a small barely there smile. "Now what do you see when you see me?"

"Well, right now, almost all of you." Christy's eyes glanced down just enough to give Tessa the meaning of that.

"You are so like her." Tessa shook her head just a little from side to side. "Joking aside, tell me."

The faked smile faded on Christy's lips and she sighed. "I see a beautiful woman. One that's so smart and kind when she can be. I see someone that makes me feel safe even when I'm not." Christy started to reach out a hand towards Tessa, but pulled it back. "I see… I see…" Her body shook a little. "My Mistress." Christy couldn't really tell if it was her or Raven that said that.

The look of surprise was brief and covered quickly, but Christy was spy trained and she caught it. "Do you see weakness or a force to be feared?"

Christy studied the eyes staring so fearlessly back at her. "You are a force, but I don't fear you." Christy leaned forward a little, "I…" She stared helplessly at the woman's lips. Her own mouth had been so abused today, but she wanted this. Christy looked back into Tessa's eyes.

"You aren't too dirty to touch me." Tessa whispered, "I've been abused too, many of the people you've been forced to touch, I've touched. Am I too dirty for you?" That was all the permission Christy needed.

"Never." Christy whispered and leaned forward again, gently kissing Tessa's mouth. She had to prove it to Tessa now. She hated that anyone hurt Tessa. Christy's lips parted as she kissed Tessa again. No one ever kissed her here, no one but Tessa. Oh but Tessa did it so thoroughly and so softly. Christy moaned into the kiss and moved closer, straddling Tessa's legs so she could get close enough. "Tessa." She whispered as they broke the kiss. "Tessa, I want…" Christy leaned down, taking those lips to hers again. Tessa's hands slowly caressed her back, never straying. Tessa kissed her and it felt like Christy was a person, not an object to be used and discarded. Tessa made her feel like it mattered that it was her here, that another slave wouldn't get these kisses.

Christy felt like a slow burning fire was starting in her blood. Her breathing became a little deeper as she kissed Tessa. She ran her fingers through the other woman's black hair slowly, before ever so gently pulling Tessa's head back so that she could plunder her mouth gently. The firm feel of Tessa's breasts against her stomach as she leaned over the woman to kiss her felt right. Tessa didn't escalate or pull away. She let Christy do what she wanted and when Christy realized it, it took her breath away. Tessa was giving. Everyone else took, but she was giving. Christy groaned as she kissed Tessa more forcefully.

Christy moved her kisses to the woman's neck, slowly savoring the freedom to touch as she wanted. "Tessa." Christy whimpered a little. "Tell me what you want. I want to please you. I want to."

"What do you want to do?" Tessa spoke softly.

"I want you." Christy captured her lips again and moaned into the kiss. "I want you." She whispered as she pulled back and moved to kiss Tessa's shoulder. She knew her Emma would forgive this. Under normal circumstances no, but Christy was being taken by so many people she didn't want, Emma would forgive her this one she did. If, God forbid, it were her Emma in this situation, Christy wouldn't begrudge her any comfort she could find.

"Can I touch you?" Tessa asked and Christy felt her body shake a little. Asking. God, so much she used to take for granted.

"Yes." Christy whispered and felt the hands on her back move lower and pull her more tightly up against Tessa. "Tessa." Christy arched her back into the woman as she felt sure fingers explore her body. Water rippled as her hips moved slowly and her knees ached with kneeling on the tub. "Mistress, can we use the bed."

"Not Mistress tonight." Tessa's fingers stopped and pulled away. "If you don't want this, you can say no. If you tell me no, I'll stop."

Christy swallowed to try and deal with her dry mouth. "I don't want to say no." She stared into Tessa's eyes. "Not to you."

"And Raven?" Tessa reminded Christy of the woman forced to move along with her.

"I can never imagine Raven telling you no."

Tessa just stared into her eyes a little too long. "But you don't know." The expression on Tessa's face made Christy feel like it was the wrong answer. No. No, she needed Tessa's gentleness tonight. Christy sent a thought loudly through her own brain. Please Raven…

She didn't know what she expected, some divine intervention, but Raven didn't take over. Christy's eyes softened and pleaded with Tessa. "I know what I want." Christy moved to gently caress Tessa's neck, to slowly trail that hand down to gently caress a breast. Tessa leaned into her hand. "Oh God." Christy's breathing got faster suddenly with Tessa's response. She licked her lips and moved another hand out to touch the other breast. She took the back of her fingers and caressed soft skin.

A hand moved to stop hers and Christy felt like protesting, but she didn't. She stopped. Tessa stared into her eyes, searching for something. Christy felt the fingers return to her body, gentle exploring fingers. Her hips started a gentle roll into the touches. Her head moved to rest on Tessa's shoulder. "Please." Christy begged for affection more than sex. "Kiss me. It has to mean something."

The kiss she got in response was explosive, passionate, tender. God, this woman could kiss. Christy clung to her, kissing her hungrily. She felt the fingers move to slowly enter her and she yanked her head back to groan. "Oh Tessa. Take me. I want it to be you."

"Yes Raven." Tessa whispered and Christy didn't correct her. She couldn't say for a fact it hadn't been Raven that begged. She felt lost in their skin, both feeling everything and nothing. It was glorious. There was no pain.

The fingers stopped and Tessa kissed her. "Bedroom." Christy moved to stand up first, since Tessa couldn't have moved with her there. Water ran down her body and she moved to step out of the tub, then held out a hand to help Tessa, the way Tessa had helped her into it.

Christy felt a wave of nervousness, wondering what was expected. "Relax." Tessa whispered and kissed her softly, her lips trailed over Christy's neck and finding the spot behind her ear that made her whimper. "Lay down." Tessa pressed gently on Christy's shoulders, encouraging her to get on the bed. "I want to taste you." Tessa caressed her jaw. "Don't worry. I don't expect you to reciprocate. You have to be sore."

It was the first comment about that since they started kissing. It was an unwelcome reminder of her tired jaw and tongue. Christy swallowed and nervously moved to lay on the bed. She spread her legs like Emma had the night before, in an invitation. "Tessa."

"Don't be worried. I'm old enough, I can prove it if you want." Tessa gave her a wicked smile and moved to crawl onto the bed with her. Christy blushed as she remembered the shave and Tessa's comment about that hair.

Oh god. Christy's back arched as Tessa kissed her sex thoroughly. It wasn't long before she was muttering Tessa's name like a mantra, her fists clenching the sheets viciously. Her voice rose as Tessa seemed to pour fire into her veins. "Tessa!" Christy convulsed, thrusting towards the woman working miracles. "Oh God Tessa." She panted as she fell back to the bed.

The warmth of Tessa's skin against her own felt so nice as Tessa crawled up her body to kiss her again. "I can…" Christy started, but Tessa's eyes stopped her from finishing the offer.

"Just rest. I have what I wanted."

"But I didn't…" Christy didn't want to neglect Tessa in any way. "I've never touched you."

"I want the right to say no too Christy." Tessa looked at her, waiting for her response. It felt unfair, but if that was what Tessa wanted.

"Of course." Christy caressed Tessa's loosened hair. "You are so beautiful." She leaned forward for a small kiss. "Inside too. It would be so easy…" Her words trailed off. It seemed even more unfaithful to even think them. Tessa moved to lay beside her.

Christy cuddled up to Tessa, encouraging Tessa to hold her like her own Emma used to. It almost felt like she was free, it felt so good to be held.

"Emma's coming." Tessa sighed and moved to sit up. "She'll want to keep you the night."

Christy felt odd about that. There was the part of her that was grateful for what Emma did to help, but last night she'd been so impersonal about ordering Christy to take care of her problem sleeping. Well, she could worry about that later. "Tessa." Christy reached out to caress Tessa's cheek. "Thank you." It seemed so inadequate a response for what Tessa did for her.

"No," Tessa smiled at her. "Thank you. You gave me a gift, one that can't be taken only given. It was beautiful." Her smile faded. "You best get dressed." Tessa moved to stand up. "Emma's not pleased with me."

Christy moved quickly to the bathroom. Her pile of clothes was small, but right where she left it. As she worked to put the corset on she glanced at the pile Tessa left behind. Would it feel less naked with the boots and gloves? Did the cloak make it easier to feel in charge?

"Tessa." Emma's voice filled the outer room, so Christy ran a brush through her hair and took one last look at herself in the mirror. "I believe you borrowed my slave?"

Christy hesitated to step out of the room. Her enhanced hearing picked up a softer spoken response. "The twins are hardly the most sympathetic people to leave her with after that."

"I told them not to touch her. I wouldn't have let anyone touch her after that." Emma's voice was quieter as well. "I hate these barbaric parties. She… she did well." Emma clearly cut herself off.

"You could reward her by actually letting her sleep on the bed. It's clear she won't attack you."

"I don't let slaves sleep in my bed."

"You do sometimes. You let me. A little kindness would go a long way with her Emma."

"Where is she?" Emma asked and Christy waited a little longer before stepping out of the bathroom, so they wouldn't start to suspect she could hear things.

Emma's tone was colder when she talked directly to Christy, but Christy had heard the concern in that voice earlier. "Visiting hours are over. Let's get to my rooms."

Christy felt a small smile come to her lips as she looked at Tessa. "Goodnight Mistress Tessa." Her eyes held the tenderness she couldn't show another way. She got a small nod before she had to leave with Emma.

After getting ready for bed Christy started to pick up a pillow from the couch when Emma spoke. "Get in the bed." It was commanding. Christy moved to the side of the bed and hesitated. "If you move too much in your sleep I'll tie you up." Emma grinned wickedly. "Which wouldn't be a problem for me actually."

Rather than let Emma get away with the bravado Christy just tilted her head and looked at the telepath. "Thank you Mistress." Her voice was sincere. Emma was letting her sleep in the bed after all.

…………….

Christy opened her eyes after what felt like a few hours. Keeping her voice low she finally asked. "You're shields are weaker when you sleep aren't they?" Emma was touching herself again.

"I rarely stay here." Emma's breathing was faster than normal. "The sexual energy is just so strong." Emma just talked to her, she didn't command her, and she didn't reprimand her for not saying Mistress.

Christy moved to roll over onto her side and looked at Emma. She'd already done it once before. Rather than wait to be ordered to do it again, Christy started to move under the covers. Emma moved to make room for her.

"I won't last long." Christy spoke softly as she settled between Emma's legs. "My jaw still aches."

"Anything is better than this torment." Emma's back arched. There was something distinctly different about Emma tonight. Christy lowered her mouth to Emma's body. The soft petting of her hair as she pleasured Emma was so nice and affectionate. Emma came silently again, and Christy really wondered why Emma didn't make noise when she came, nothing more than a soft gasp.

"Thank you." Emma whispered as Christy crawled back to her previous spot beside Emma. There was an awkward moment, before Emma hesitantly moved to roll away from her. "You can pleasure yourself if you want."

Christy just stared at the exposed shoulder of the White Queen for a moment, feeling like she was missing something. This woman wasn't easy to understand. Christy just sighed and moved to go back to sleep. She'd already accepted that doing anything for this Emma meant she'd be left hanging, so she didn't let herself feel. It was just a job.

Part of her hurt because it was so close and so far from where she wanted to be.

………………..

The morning came and Christy rolled out of Emma's bed quietly. She stood by the bed and looked down at the soft features of her lover's face on yet another person. She'd dreamed of a picnic with her lover, of sitting under a tree talking and gentle loving looks. After dreaming of her past, the young Queen seemed lonely to her suddenly, something about the way Emma still hugged her pillow to her body like she did in college seemed sweet but lonely.

Christy hesitantly moved to caress blonde hair gently and stared into Emma's face. "This place is killing you." She whispered as she touched fine blonde hair. She doubted Emma would wake up, not with all the drugs in her system. The last morning showed her how little this Emma was a morning person. She stared into Emma's face. "How old are you?" She kept her voice barely a whisper as she finally got her opportunity to talk to Emma. Looking at Emma she'd guess early twenties. How early she didn't know. Her fingers trailed just above Emma's jaw, not touching her. This was just a few years after Emma's freshman year in college. Just a few years and that Emma became this one.

It reminded her of her own transformation, of the gentle woman she used to be and how that woman was lost to her now. Visiting younger versions of herself were constant reminders of what she'd become. How was her younger self doing? Was she in college now in her own world? Did her first partner, victim, learn about her powers? Did she ruin their lives, or did they manage to move on? Was she ruining Raven's life? She was pretty sure she was.

When Emma moved to roll over Christy took her hand back quickly, not sure what the punishment for touching Emma without her permission would be. She didn't want to get caught.

Was she ever going to get home, or was she just spreading her misery across to helpless Christy's in other worlds. Christy sighed and turned towards the bathroom. She might as well get ready for the day. She had more misery to spread.

Selene was a monster and staying might get them killed, but this might very well get them killed anyhow. Christy couldn't do it to her double anymore. She couldn't. Serving Tessa or Emma was one thing, but last night had been horrible and her younger self was feeling it. Christy wasn't going to stay and feel Selene rip apart the Xman. There had to be a way out of this, a way for her to leave this world and not have to stay near this Emma to do it. If it took time, that was better than this torture. Her double could handle time better than this. She could handle time better than this.

She pulled on white panties and fastened a corset a little too large for her. She pulled on white boots and it felt tight and constricting, but it seemed to fit well enough for now. "I don't know if I can do this here." Christy muttered as she pulled on the gloves. "You aren't a shapeshifter, and this is going to be hard." She pulled the cloak over her head and stood staring into the mirror. Black was definitely her color, not white.

Christy closed her eyes and thought about her lover's body, her nose, her chin, her sexy lips. Christy's hands clenched as she thought about tapered fingers and perfect nails. She prayed for the strength as she felt her skin, water, being pulled into the force of her will.

When she opened her eyes it wasn't working. She didn't have the power for a full shapeshift.

"Where's the door Raven?" She asked as she stared at her face. She'd have to rely on attitude and hope no one really looked at her. It wasn't like everyone hadn't seen what she looked like. The clothes were her only disguise and they didn't cover much. "I don't know why I never thought of this Raven. I'm sorry." She stared into her own blue eyes and then turned away, ashamed of not being able to think more clearly sooner.

Raven still didn't answer her. Christy took a deep breath and one last long look at the sleeping Queen, before she opened the door and stepped out. She walked with a confident stride down the hall, pretending she knew where she was going. In times like this it would have been nice to actually be able to talk to her host.

Her heart started a nervous pounding as she saw the couple walking in her direction. The slave collars helped ease her panic a little. Christy looked away from them a little as they came closer, pretending to ignore them, but out of the corner of her eye she watched every move they made. She took in their preoccupation with not sloshing the coffee on the tray with relief. Their Master's breakfast was more interesting than the slave trying to escape. That was good.

When did she start to think of herself as a slave? She wasn't, she was a prisoner. Christy sighed quietly and strode past the couple, keeping her walk arrogant and commanding. All she got were respectful nods, which she ignored as well.

How large was this place? Christy listened and heard the slaves keep walking down the hall she'd come from. They knew there way around, but all the halls looked so alike and were so long. Christy got to the end of the hall and she had to make a decision. Left or right, neither meant anything to her. She'd passed the turn she normally took, trying to stay on less traveled paths. She knew how to get from Emma's room to the party, but she wasn't stupid enough to think she'd be able to pass there, where everyone saw her and so many… Her fist clenched and she willed herself not to tense up. Left, just go left. It made no difference.

A blur of black caught her eye and then Christy was slammed into the wall. Her heart pounded and she moved into a more battle ready position before she noticed the girl on the floor.

"I'm so sorry Mistress." The slave was actually shaking. "I wasn't watching where I was going, I was irresponsible."

"Silence." Christy stood a little taller and stared at the woman on her knees before her. Did that woman just drop as soon as she ran into Christy? Christy had been so sure she'd been caught. "I don't care about the why's. You touched me without my permission." She hated to see the nervousness and she understood why this woman was scared.

Christy hadn't really been punished for an accident yet, she wasn't sure what was supposed to happen at this point. She could stand and talk like Tessa and Emma did with her, but what was a suitable punishment that would get rid of this slave and not raise questions? It wasn't a comfortable position, being kneeled in front of. It was hard to be cruel when people had been cruel to her. Is that why Tessa was so gentle with her in comparison?

The girl's hair was short and blonde, her face was obscured by the way she stared at Christy's boots. Christy stared helplessly for just a moment. "If I weren't so busy I'd take the time to teach you a lesson about taking care where you walk, but I don't have the time to deal with your incompetence now. Get out of my sight." The surprised expression and quick movement to obey both relieved and worried her.

She started down the hall again, this time more cautiously. There were a surprising number of slaves moving along this path. Most of them had trays of food, which led Christy to believe the kitchen was this way. There was a good chance the kitchen had access to outside. None of the Masters here would want the servants walking groceries through the club.

She moved towards the door she saw another slave come out of with a tray of food, trying to look like she belonged, but from the look the slave gave her she might have been better off in her own slave wear for this part of the trip. She plastered a smirk on her lips and nodded at him, forcing her eyes to take in his body slowly and a bit hungrily.

Christy pushed open the doors to the kitchen forcefully and stepped in like she was a general about to inspect the troops. She hid her nervousness carefully and ignored the eyes that all moved towards her. She scanned the few cooks and helpers, and the few slaves assembling their trays and leaving as if looking for someone, and not happy at all to have to be doing so.

The cooks moved to continue their work and Christy moved as gracefully as she could in the boots she wore along the long counter, past the slaves that after having stared, kept their eyes carefully down, not looking at her.

"Mistress, can I help you?" A man dressed as a cook asked hesitantly.

"Perhaps you can." She turned to glare at him. "My slave, a small women with short red hair, is missing. She was supposed to bring me my breakfast fifteen minutes ago."

The slaves drew her eyes again, as if she was checking to make sure she didn't see her there. "Do you have a back door?"

"I assure you that no slaves have left the premises." His voice rose a little. "Not from here."

"Show me the door." Christy crossed her arms in front of her as she stared at him. "My slave has a horrible smoking habit and she thinks she can hide it from me." She was just making it all up at this point, hoping that regular slaves had enough freedom that this didn't seem impossible.

He started around the table and motioned to her that he was leading her away. Christy strode after him confidently and studied his movements, taking some comfort in some of his awkwardness. Maybe she could overpower him once they reached outside. Running through the city dressed like this would be hard, but she just needed to get out of here before she could worry about blending in out there.

The cook turned into a doorway and Christy followed him down a hallway and into another room. She looked for another door, but she found two people she didn't want to see now standing in front of it. Tessa stood at Sebastian's side and both were staring at her. Christy spun on her heels and moved to try and run out the way she'd come in. She'd ram into the cook if she had to.

The click of a gun and Tessa's voice stopped her. "Christy." Tessa's voice was cold and commanding.

"Mistress." Christy pleaded, remembering how she was supposed to address the woman in front of others as she turned to face the woman.

"Kneel." Tessa's voice was uncaring. Christy took a step to the side and studied the stance of the pair in the doorway. Sebastian looked ready for her to try and get past them, and Tessa was always ready for everything.

She slowly kneeled and swallowed hard as she waited, eyes down. "so sorry Raven." She whispered almost inaudibly. Failure. Everything she touched here ended in failure.

"Do you want to tell me what this is about? I thought you understood you were the guest of honor at our party." Sebastian moved closer and Christy hated him, his voice, his presence. "Aren't you having fun my dear?"

When he paused it was clear he wanted an answer. "No, I'm not." She didn't block the large hand that hit her face even though she saw it coming, she just did her best to shift protection over to that side of her face faster than she normally tried. When she hit the ground she stayed down, but she glared up at him.

"And after all our work to make you feel included in everything." He walked around her and Christy listened for an attack. "Thank you Richard for your assistance. You can get back to work now."

"Of course Mr. Shaw." The cook spoke and Christy could hear his footsteps as he walked away.

"Kneel." Tessa spoke. It was almost like she was a machine, she had no emotions. She was hiding them all. Christy got back onto her knees.

"Yes Mistress." Christy tried to apologize with her eyes for Tessa having to do whatever she had to do. Her eyes lingered on the gun in Tessa's hand, and how it wasn't quite aimed at her. In her own body she'd be pretty confident she could rush Tessa and get out of here. Could she in this one? Could she risk hurting Tessa in her attempt?

"What were you doing?"

"I was going to get out of here." Christy took a deep breath as she stared at Tessa's boots. "Mistress."

"Eyes to me." Tessa spoke a hint softer. Christy looked up, taking in the beautiful woman that made love to her the night before. "Why run now? You've been such a good little slave."

"Selene." Christy sighed. "I… Mistress, I don't want to go to Selene. I don't want other people… no more."

"She doesn't really get the concept of being the slave does she Tessa?" Sebastian spoke. "It doesn't matter what you want, just what your Master's want."

"True." Tessa spoke and Christy let her eyes fall back down to the ground. It sounded so callous. Christy had pretended to be like that before as well, so she didn't plead with her eyes for Tessa's help, knowing how hard it was for the spy as is. "You know you have to be punished for this."

"Yes Mistress." Christy whispered out, feeling her heart sink again.

"I have a few suggestions." Sebastian spoke and Christy did her best not to cringe.

"Thank you, but I am not without ideas of my own." Christy could feel the tension in the air after Tessa spoke.

"There are a lot of people forgetting their place around here." Sebastian sounded angry at Tessa. Christy paled at the thought of Tessa being hurt.

"Sebastian." Tessa spoke more softly. "I want this slave to be mine. Surely you don't want to undermine the authority I've developed."

"Not enough if she's trying to escape."

Tessa turned to her. "Were you trying to escape me?"

"No." Christy stared into Tessa's eyes. "Not you. I… Tessa, Mistress. If it were you…" her eyes fell to the floor. "There are far worse things than being your slave." She was aware of the audience and the need for her to be respectful.

"And you believe her?" Sebastian scoffed.

"She hasn't tried to escape until now Sebastian. I've had her, Emma's had her, and she stayed." Christy blushed, embarrassed by how this was being talked about, and that Tessa knew Emma had her. They moved further away, and Tessa didn't seem concerned that Christy would try to run. It might have something to do with the fact that those two were still in front of the door that was most likely the one Christy wanted. Christy looked down and enhanced her hearing. "Twelve was too many Sebastian. We knew she'd run."

"Yes, and she needs to be punished."

"Not the way you're thinking of doing it." Christy struggled to not fidget as they whispered about her. "If we play this right, she'll be ours, not just our slave, but working for us. We need to be patient and we need to be a little less interested in breaking her. Broken she's of little use for anything but sex." Christy studiously tried to not appear to be listening. Tessa played spy well, it even made her a little nervous, and she knew Tessa was really an Xman. "I will punish her, but my way."

"Very well." Sebastian sounded like he hated giving in. "You've never steered me wrong before. You take care of it, but she still has to be delivered to Selene today. She is the Black Queen after all."

"She never should have been given that title."

"I wasn't given a lot of choice in the matter. You know that."

Christy could see them moving towards her out of the corner of her eye and she lessened her hearing so that when they talked louder it wouldn't hurt. "Stand." Tessa commanded her and Christy did her best in Emma's boots. The things were a little tall. "First we are going back to Emma's room to return her clothes, and then I'll punish you, after Emma has finished with you."

Sebastian glared at her, making Christy want to step further away from him. "I'll see you ladies later." It seemed like a threat. Christy looked down and gritted her teeth to keep from saying anything she'd have to pay for. She wanted to kill him. That was a new feeling. Normally she needed to kill, never wanted to; the person responsible for the attack on her Emma was the only other person she'd wanted dead. Sebastian stayed standing in front of that door as Tessa moved closer to Christy.

"Do I need to restrain you?" Tessa asked.

"No Mistress." Christy ached to rush Sebastian, to try. The look in Tessa's eyes stopped her. They seemed to contain a warning of danger.

As they walked Tessa spoke quietly. "We had you on camera the entire time." Christy's head hung lower at that. She thought it was a little too easy. "You passed another door that could have taken you out. It will be on our left in a few minutes, across from the large mirror on the wall."

Christy's eyebrows drew together as they stopped talking. They stepped into the kitchen again and this time the eyes didn't move off of her.

Tessa had Christy walking in front of her. They stepped out of the kitchen and started down the halls. A few slaves watched them and Christy noticed a two shake their heads at her, as if they knew how bad it was going to be when she got where she was going.

"I have this one gun, it has a full round in it and if you know how to use one, it would be enough to get you past the guards at the exit." Tessa's voice was so quiet Christy had to strain to hear it from behind her. Her eyes widened and she wanted to turn and stare at the woman. "You'd have to take me by surprise."

"What are you doing?" Christy kept her head down to hide the fact she was talking from any hidden cameras. Tessa knew where they were but Christy didn't.

"If you want to leave, I don't want to stop you."

Christy could see the mirror Tessa spoke about coming closer. "What about you?" Losing a prisoner had to come with consequences.

"I would be punished." It was said softly and Christy's head started to turn towards Tessa again, but she stopped herself.

"How?"

"You'd be safe." Tessa paused and Christy willed her to answer the question. "I'd most likely be forced to take your place tonight with Selene."

Christy's body shuddered. Tessa in Selene's hands, and the Black Queen would be pissed as well. Selene was capable of killing with a thought, and enjoyed it. The mirror reflected Christy's light brown hair and her pained expression as she walked right past it, Tessa on her heels. "I can't do that to you." Christy had to take a deep breath to try and calm the tears of frustration and fear. She was better suited to surviving Selene than Tessa. "I could never do that to you Tessy." Her internal Xmen managed to whisper that out loud, clearly agreeing with Christy's decision.

"Oh Raven." Tessa's voice was quieter and clearly pained. They walked in silence the rest of the way to Emma's door.

Emma's cold blue eyes glared at her as Christy stepped into the room, followed by Tessa. The blonde was sitting up in her bed, still naked, and newly awake.

"I believe you lost this." Tessa spoke softly and motioned for Christy to move forward. Christy had stopped walking when Emma glared at her. Christy took a hesitant step forward then straightened her shoulders and forced herself to march up to Emma. She swept the cloak back elegantly and kneeled in front of the blonde.

"Mistress." Christy lowered her eyes. She saw a foot drop down from the bed in front of her, and then the other, to rest on the floor.

"You decided to impersonate me?" Emma's voice was firm.

"My control of my powers weren't up to the task." Christy answered honestly. "I used to impersonate my lover all the time. I thought maybe I could do it."

"Your lover?" Emma's voice was a little surprised. Christy risked looking up in time to catch Emma covering that up. Didn't Tessa tell… oh, she didn't. Emma didn't figure this out?

"My lover was sometimes targeted by assassins. I'd pretend to be her occasionally when she had to appear in places we couldn't secure properly. It wasn't widely known I did that." Christy had argued for that right hard. "I can be a convincing Emma Frost if I need to be, I just can't talk." Her shape shifting powers didn't include voices. "I played decoy."

She was stalling, hoping that she wasn't about to see Emma really want to hurt her for doing this. "The difference is I did not give you permission to take my clothes and run around the club." Emma wasn't budging on this. "You've made a fool of me." Christy's head tilted down a little more. Her back tensed when she heard Emma stand up. "Take off my clothes." Christy nodded and moved to stand.

She carefully didn't look at either woman in the room as she removed the cloak. She set it carefully on the bed, and followed that with the gloves. She had to move to sit on the bed to take the boots off, and she struggled with it for a moment before Tessa moved forward and helped her. Christy's hands were shaking a little too much to manage. Tessa kneeled in front of her and Christy's eyes widened a little as she watched the dark haired woman gently unzip a boot.

She looked up to see Emma shaking her head at Tessa's action. Christy didn't like Tessa being criticized for having a heart. "I love you Mistress." She whispered to Tessa. It wasn't something she admitted easily, but she was worried about what would happen that night and wanted it said at least once.

"I know you do Christy." Tessa didn't even look up as she moved to set the boot to the side of Christy's feet and reach out for the other boot encased leg.

"I'm sorry you have to punish me." Christy ignored the blonde watching with a little surprise on her face.

"It's okay Christy. I understand." Tessa lowered the zipper on the other boot.

"Tessa." Emma's one word held her demand for information.

"She was running from Selene Emma, not you and not me." Tessa informed Emma without even looking away from the boot she lowered off of Christy's leg.

"She still ran." Emma wasn't budging.

"She's a prisoner, she's being raped, and Selene scares all the slaves." Tessa stood up and Christy stared down so that she didn't stare at Tessa as she said that. "Of course she ran."

It was hard not to talk, but Christy moved to unfasten the white corset while a naked but commanding Emma and clothed Tessa stood talking in front of her about her.

Once she got the corset off she laid it next to the other clothes. She bent down and removed the last piece of clothing, then kneeled again, her head bowed.

"Mistress, would you like me to assist you." Tessa's voice surprised Christy and she looked up to see Tessa looking at Emma.

"What are you doing Tessa? Your slave is right here." Emma glared at Tessa and then towards Christy. Christy tried to hide her surprise at hearing Tessa call Emma Mistress.

"I want her to see this part of me." Tessa glanced at Christy. "It doesn't lessen me in your eyes does it? Knowing I'm a slave as well?"

"Never Mistress." Christy answered with all of her conviction.

"Watch me serve." Tessa ordered her and then turned to face Emma. "I want her to see this. To see it doesn't make me less, that it doesn't make her less." They both went silent and Christy watched like she'd been ordered while a telepathic argument raged.

"Very well slave." Emma sighed and motioned towards the clothes. "Assist." Christy watched at Tessa moved to pick up the corset. She watched as Tessa gently helped Emma to put that on, gently tightening it onto the blonde telepath.

Emma held out a hand and let Tessa help her on with a glove. Tessa's head was bowed respectfully, her eyes focused on her task. Christy watched Emma use her ungloved hand to caress Tessa's cheek. They had clearly touched many times before. Christy had heard it, known it, but seeing it was different.

Emma was gentler with Tessa than she was with Christy. She felt a bit of jealousy, and she fought it down. It wasn't her Emma. She watched how Tessa let Emma touch her so easily and kept her eyes down. Her Mistress, her mind growled at seeing Tessa bow to anyone as well, and this was just Emma. She felt conflicted and wondered how much was her own emotions and how much was her emotions clashing with her double's. She'd never merged with a double in quite this way before and the line between them blurred often.

The cloak went over Emma's head and still the woman was bare below the waist. Christy expected Tessa to pick up the panties next, but Tessa moved to kneel in front of Emma, gracefully moving her own cloak out of the way as she did so.

Christy couldn't stop the gasp as she watched Tessa move closer to kiss Emma's sex slowly, reverently. "Yes." Emma whispered and moved a hand behind Tessa's immaculately done hair to caress her neck. "It's been a while Tessa." The dark haired woman moved so slowly, licking, kissing. Christy felt a squeak in her voicebox as she watched and had to clamp her mouth shut.

"Are you aroused slave?" Emma spoke and Christy looked up from the sight of Tessa servicing Emma slowly to see Emma staring at her. "Well, are you?"

"Yes." Christy licked her lips and didn't deny what this was doing to her. She was embarrassed by a whimper she accidentally let go as Tessa moved her face closer to Emma. Did her Emma and the Tessa on that world ever… god it was so beautiful. "Yes, Mistress." Christy finally finished the words.

"Your slave doesn't hide her need well." Emma spoke while staring down at Tessa. "Have you been using your mouth on her? You shouldn't, no Master should use their mouth." Emma's body shook just a little as Tessa pleasured her. How she could do this standing up was a mystery to Christy, because she knew how good Tessa was at this. Tessa didn't pull away to answer, knowing Emma wasn't really asking, or maybe she didn't need to pull away, since they were both telepaths.

Christy remembered being able to talk to her lover while doing things like that.

"You've been a bad girl haven't you Tessa." Emma finally pulled away, unable to stand. "Come." Emma lifted Tessa's cloak off of her and set it aside before moving toward the bed. Then Emma's voice rose. "Christy, your Mistress told you to watch. You'll need to either sit on the couch or the bed to see."

"Yes Mistress." Christy moved to stand as Emma moved to lay on her bed, her legs parted for Tessa.

"Service me Tessa." Emma's voice was a little heated. Christy felt her body stop to just stare. To watch this seemed indecent and she should pick the further option Emma gave her and sit on the chair, but her body ached to get on the bed. She'd been with these women herself, it wouldn't be taking liberties to want to be close now would it? Christy stood by the bed, part of her body aimed as if she was going to walk to the chair, but she didn't move.

"Christy." Tessa leaned away from Emma's body to speak. "Come."

"Yes Mistress." Her voice was deep, needy, as she moved to crawl onto the oversized bed. She watched as Tessa returned to her task, but she did it so slowly, drawing out the pleasure. Christy could practically feel how it would feel to have Tessa on her body like that. Why did Tessa want her to see this? Christy tried to think, but her eyes couldn't leave what she was watching. She looked up into Emma's face and saw the way Emma tried to keep her pleasure quiet as she came.

Tessa moved back to kneel on the bed between Emma's legs and wait.

"You can take your pleasure from your slave if you want." Emma granted a little breathlessly. Christy turned hopeful eyes to Tessa, thinking maybe now she'd be allowed to touch Tessa.

"Thank you, but that isn't necessary Mistress." Tessa crushed Christy's hope.

"Very well." Emma stared at Tessa for a long time and again Christy sensed she was disappointed in Tessa. "You're too attached." Emma told Tessa. "Maybe when you have other slaves you'll learn."

"I don't want other slaves." Tessa's hand moved over Christy's back, caressing her gently. "Just this one."

"Tessa, it doesn't pay to get attached to a slave, and definitely not this one." Emma moved to sit up and shifted to get off the bed, but she didn't say Christy could move. "You know this one is different."

"Christy." Tessa moved to stand as well. "You need to be able to serve Selene as if she were Emma or I. Tonight you need to do this, but I want you to know that no one will think less of you for submitting. Did you think less of me just now?"

"No Mistress." Christy's sexual need was cut down considerably with the mention of Selene's name.

Tessa caressed Christy's face and then stared into her eyes. "I see how you bristle around Selene, and I want you to stop that. I know it's easier to submit to Emma or I, but I want you to submit to her. Give her no cause to hurt you. If you can let yourself enjoy it, do that." Tessa paused. "Pretend if you have to so that you feel something, pretend it's me, pretend it's Emma, whatever you need to do. It's only your body, and if you feel pleasure you aren't betraying anyone."

Christy just nodded, and didn't bother to tell Tessa all her fears, because now she'd chosen to face this so Tessa wouldn't. She didn't need to make Tessa feel worse about that. It was Christy's decision to not take Tessa's offer to escape.

"Come closer." Tessa patted her own leg and Christy crawled to the edge of the bed to kneel. "Spread your legs." Christy moved her knees further apart as she watched Tessa remove one of her black gloves. "Up." Christy stopped sitting back on her heels and she was still not as tall as Tessa even with the mattress making up more than her normal standing height.

Christy gasped as Tessa's hand moved between her legs. "You still need to be punished." Tessa's other arm pulled Christy's body tight to her own as her hand touched Christy, reviving the need. This was punishment? Christy's hips started to thrust into Tessa's hand.

"Please." She whispered as she felt her pleasure building. Tessa stopped.

"I'll be touching you often today, but you won't get release and you won't give it to yourself."

Christy's breathing started to calm and her body shook. "Go put on all but your panties, while Emma and I order breakfast."

Christy's enhanced hearing and the cracked open bathroom door helped her hear a few more comments between the other women. "So now you're playing your slave's fluffer for her night with Selene?"

"If that's what it takes." Tessa spoke with little inflection.

She wasn't sure how much time passed, how many times Tessa tortured her with her own need, when she noticed what was being said again. "The idea is to keep her in a sexual haze isn't it?"

"She's doesn't need that much. You'll overdose her. Keep in mind that you've developed a tolerance to those drugs Emma, she hasn't. Cut it in half."

There was the sound of stirring and then Emma spoke up. "Christy, have some juice. You need to keep up your strength for tonight."

Christy moved back so she could stand. "You can sit in a chair." Tessa spoke gently.

Knowing they were drugging her right before taking her to Selene, Christy drank every last drop of that juice, hoping it would help like they seemed to think it would. Maybe she'd get lucky and Raven would just pass out inside of her so that they both didn't have to go through this, but it seemed unlikely. It was for Raven's sake that she didn't let her own ego get in the way of what Tessa and Emma were trying to do for her.


	16. Hellfire 1 Part 5

500 Miles – Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

AUTHOR'S NOTE: rape, violence, language warnings. I tried to be as vague as I could and still get across what was happening, but this is a disturbing chapter. Again a darker version of this with less editing is available on the xmenfemslash yahoo group.

Christy was flanked by two women, one in white and the other in black, as they made their way down another hall. It could have felt like they were guarding her, like she was a prisoner being taken to interrogation, but the presence of these two comforted her, even though she was a prisoner and she wasn't in for a good night.

She was carefully doing her best to not appear afraid. She ran through memories she normally tried to forget, ones where she faced death, ones where she caused death. She was trying to keep her perspective. She would live, they both would, and she would eventually be free. She wouldn't leave until Raven was free.

"Raven, we don't both have to do this. I'm older, and I've seen hell. Let me spare you this." She thought loudly.

"No." The words came out her lips and Emma and Tessa looked at her. "Um, talking to myself." She gave them a weak smile. "Apparently I didn't like that plan."

She got nothing but a curious look from Emma and a slightly concerned one from Tessa. "Well, Selene has requested to skip the party tonight." Emma filled the silence. "So you are on your own until morning." Christy took a deep breath and nodded. She tried to not look at Tessa or Emma. She stared ahead at the door they were clearly going to. "Again, she has been told the rules, but you can't remind her. She isn't supposed to cause permanent damage or kill you." These people didn't think of the mental pain as permanent, but Christy was fully aware it was.

They stopped walking and a white glove reached up to knock on the door. Christy's jaw clenched as they waited, she kept her head down and submissive and fought with the urge to run instead of submit to yet more abuse. Tessa, she could do this for Tessa. It was just one night, one minute, one hour, she just had to focus on the now. Thinking of telling her Emma about this, or the look in Tessa's eyes tomorrow wouldn't help her.

The door opened and Christy caught a glimpse of the black cloak even though she stared at the ground.

"Well, delivery, how nice." Selene's accented voice was full of amusement. "Come now slave. I'll show you all sorts of new things."

Christy's head bowed a little further, for a moment wishing the two she'd been glad to have by her side a second ago weren't here. "Yes Mistress." It felt horrible to call this woman that.

"Oh little spider." Christy heard the fake sigh. "Don't look so stiff, I can practically smell your fear." The door closed and Christy risked looking up at Selene. The grin on Selene's face at her discomfort worried her. Christy tried to do what Tessa said, and looked at Selene more carefully. She took in the pale skin, the dark hair, the intelligent if cold eyes. Selene was beautiful. Maybe that would help.

"I'm sorry Mistress." Christy swallowed and watched the way Selene walked up to her with a slight sway in her hips.

Selene moved so close Christy felt the warmth of her. "Do I frighten you horribly little spider?" Selene whispered softly into Christy's ear. Christy struggled to not move as Selene ran a finger slowly and gently around Christy's ear. "Do I make you shake in fear little sister?" Selene's finger moved to slowly caress Christy's neck.

"Are you a vampire Mistress?" Christy asked a little nervously as she felt a kiss on her shoulder.

"Not the kind you're thinking about." Selene sounded amused as she moved back a little and into the space right in front of Christy. "No, I don't drink blood. You know what I feed on. You feed on it too." Selene leaned into her, again whispering in her ear. "You taste especially fine little sister, and with none of the baggage the other prey leaves me with."

Christy just swallowed, trying to manage with her tightened throat.

"Service me." Selene pulled back and smiled like a shark, before moving to sit on a chair in the large bedroom. "We have much to do tonight, but first, show me you can do better than you did the other night."

"Yes Mistress." And how wrong was this that Christy was grateful that was all Selene was asking for right now. Talk of feeding made her nervous. Christy moved forward to kneel between Selene's legs. She reached up to gently hook her fingers in the underwear Selene hadn't bothered to remove herself. "Mistress?" Selene raised her hips so that Christy could lower the black panties. Black like Tessa wore. Tessa.

"It's hard to believe you are such a weak creature, that you are prey, when I can see you shine like you do little spider." Selene spoke softly. "A predator wouldn't be on her knees right now would she?" Christy didn't think Selene was actually asking so she continued to service the woman, the far too unresponsive woman. Selene was more interested in talking than enjoying this humiliation Christy suffered for Selene's pleasure. "What do you feel when you feed, if you don't feel the beauty of a hunt complete?" That one sounded like an honest question. Not one Christy really wanted to answer either.

Christy leaned back from her work. "I feel…" Her eyes moved further down the stare at the ground. "Pleasure. It feels like death caresses me and it feels good." It was embarrassing, but if Selene suspected she was lying it could have been painful.

"Sexual?" Selene's voice grew a little louder and more curious.

"Yes, it's sexual." There was a red blush on her cheeks as Christy answered that.

"You are full of all sorts of interesting mysteries little sister." Selene's glove clad hand reached out, pulling Christy's face up to look at her. "Feed now, I want to see you. You can do that can't you? Cast your little web out and pull in lifeforce."

Christy almost did it, but then she remembered the collar she wore. "The inhibitor…"

"Oh yes." Selene moved to easily pull the collar off. The other woman then rested her hands on each of Christy's shoulders. "Feed. Show me." Selene's eyes seemed to glow red as she stared at Christy.

Christy felt horribly vulnerable as she lowered her shield. Her hands clenched as she started to feel her own power, and worried she'd quickly become the meal as she did this. She pulled her shield down further, faster, and started to pull power into her body. She'd need it when Selene pushed for the next step.

It felt good. She still had trouble accepting this part of her power, but she closed her eyes and let it wash over her. A sudden jolt, a sudden shock of it being closer had her body jerking. "Yes." She groaned.

"Is that good?" Selene was pulling on her arm and Christy moved to get up. "How about this?"

"Ahh." Christy felt it hit her again, so close.

"Is that good?" Selene was so close to her, whispering again and Christy felt the dark haired woman's hands caressing Christy's sides.

"Yes." Christy kept her eyes closed, knowing what had to be causing this. Selene could give some of her own away apparently. "Mistress." Christy let herself imagine someone else as she leaned down slowly and felt Selene caressing her hair.

She could feel Selene's breath on her cheek, before she was softly kissed on her forehead. "Keep your eyes closed little spider." There was another kiss on her temple, and combined with the onslaught of her powers Christy moaned. "Oh that's it little spider, weave your web."

Christy's breathing was erratic and her body arching into the villain in front of her. There was the sound of a door opening, dragging along with footsteps. Christy kept her eyes closed, but she didn't like not knowing what was behind her. There was gentle tugging and Christy moved to straddle Selene's leg like the woman wanted. Strong arms forced her hips to move, rubbing Christy's body against Selene's thigh. Christy slowly, hesitantly, moved to rest her hands on Selene's shoulders, her own hips moving how Selene wanted her to. "That's it little sister." Lips captured hers and suddenly she heard a loud noise, followed by a jolt of power.

"Yes." Christy jerked her head back from Selene, she pressed hard down on the thigh under her. "Oh God." Her body tensed and she came. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting Raven to see what she knew was behind them. Her body slumped a little against Selene, who was laughing and amused.

"Oh my, little spider you enjoy death more than I do. Not very heroic of you." Selene's voice rose. "Take that body out of here. I'm not done playing with the little spider yet."

Christy was glad Selene rarely used her name it made it easier to distance herself. The footsteps and dragging trailed across the floor and ended in the closing of a door. "You enjoyed that man's death. Perhaps there is hope for you little spider, hope for you becoming a predator." There was a shove on her body and Christy backed up. Selene's voice became colder and commanding again. "Remove your clothes and wait on my bed. I'll be with you in a moment."

"Yes Mistress." Christy opened her eyes and turned to large bed with apprehension. Not having been told she could remove them, Christy left her cuffs on as she removed shoes, panties and corset. She noticed Selene was in the bathroom, with the door cracked open just a little.

The bed was large. Christy took a deep breath before moving to crawl onto it so she could follow the last part of the order, to lay on it. There was little doubt to what came next. Christy laid on her back on top of the soft bedspread and stared up at the ceiling, trying to remember the frustrated needful feeling Tessa had built in her all day. Tessa, a woman she would have much preferred to be serving today. It was easy to see why Raven loved her, and after seeing the Emma of this world Christy couldn't say Raven had picked the wrong woman. This Emma was still so lost.

Tessa was pretty. Christy thought about what the woman had looked like with her hair down in the bathtub. Thinking about Tessa was probably something that would work for Raven as well, so Christy didn't add her memories of her own lover, or serving this Emma, things that she would undoubtedly find more pleasant than her double. She focused on Tessa.

"I noticed you weren't all that familiar with men the other night. I plan to remedy that tonight." The smile on Selene's face was sharklike and scary as she came out of the bathroom. "Get up, we have a party to go to."

"Party?" Christy's heart clenched. Emma said that Selene got permission to not go to the party with her tonight. Even though she was afraid of Selene, she had been comforted that there wouldn't be a party to deal with as well.

"I lost a lot of points betting on you, too many, and Tessa made too many. I had to come up with another way to make points. It's a stupid system, making that servant the highest bidder when she's got none of my wealth, but we deal with the hand we are dealt. After tonight I'll be ahead again."

Christy didn't like what she was hearing as she got off the bed. When she reached for her clothes Selene just shook her head. "Don't bother, you'll just have to take them off again. I wanted you naked as we walked there."

The march down a new hall naked had Christy using every last bit of her control to just be, to not show her shame as people looked at her. This wasn't the way to the room the party had always been in. She didn't hear the loud talking and other sounds that party held as they stepped up to a large door and then in.

"It's just a small intimate party." Selene whispered as Christy took in the Christmas tree in the corner and the subdued groups of men talking and drinking in various corners. Just men. "They paid to be here. You've just officially become a whore."

Emma Christy found herself calling out mentally, desperately, as she took in the dark eyes, over a dozen dark eyes, staring at her. There was no answer.

"Come" Selene grabbed her by the collar she'd put back on Christy and towards a bed. "Kneel."

"Looks like the shows about to start." Some man chuckled as Selene strong armed Christy into position. Christy fought but she wasn't strong enough and Selene was able to mentally control the ropes through the loops in Christy's cuffs, tying her into a position that left Christy on her knees.

Go to sleep Raven, go to sleep. Christy thought frantically. Just go to sleep.

EMMA! Her mind screamed. HELP ME!

Christy? Is that you? Emma's mental voice answered and Christy rushed her thoughts towards Emma, letting Emma see what was happening.

Blackness engulfed her. Emma's warmth surrounded her. Vaguely she heard laughter and felt something, but even that was pulled away from her. I was thinking of getting Tessa a new choker for Christmas. Emma's voice was soft, soothing. She likes them actually. I saw one at the store the other day with a cute stone that goes with her eyes. I don't normally buy people presents, but what do you think? Emma appeared in front of Christy, and Christy found that she could move, she could stand.

"Emma?" Christy's watery eyes stared into compassionate blue ones.

"I can't get you out of there Christy, but I can keep you in here." Emma held up a box and Christy saw a choker in it. "Do you think Tessa will like it?"

Christy heard a scream and her head turned away from the box. It sounded like her own. Emma's hand reached out to touch her face. "Stay here with me."

"Was that Raven?" Christy felt her face pale as she stepped away from Emma. Where was Raven?

"You reached out for me, something I was told you couldn't do." Emma set the box down on a table that suddenly appeared. The blackness was starting to look a little like a room. "Stay with me." It was a soft command.

"But where's Raven?" Christy's voice cracked, because she heard the scream again, and she knew Raven wasn't here with them.

"I can't reach her."

"No." Christy's body started to shake. "No. I can't leave her there."

"I tried, but she didn't reach out to me." Emma spoke so softly.

"I have to go back." Christy told Emma and voices started to fill the room.

"Bitch." Someone laughed.

"Stop screaming or I'll have to gag you."

"Don't." Emma's voice was firm. "What good does it do for you to be there? It will just hurt both of you instead of just her."

"She's a fucking hero!" Christy screamed. "I'm not… I'm not. It shouldn't be her. She's lost so much already, it shouldn't be her."

"Even if you go back, she will still feel it won't she? It isn't like you'll take her place, not really."

"TESSA!" A scream echoed in the room, full of pain and desperation, as Raven tried to call out to a telepath she'd never be able to reach. Christy's tears obscured her vision. Emma didn't even seem to hear that one.

"So, do you think Tessa would like a new choker, or should I get her something else?"

Christy took a painful step towards Emma and the box. She had to wipe the tears out of her eyes so she could see. "It is pretty." Her voice cracked. God, she'd never felt worse, hated herself more, than she did at that moment, not even when she shot the man that loved her to spare him a more painful death. The voices faded. Even if she went back, what could she do?

………………..

Pain. Horrible pain. It was the first thing she became aware of as Christy left the safe room Emma made in her mind. She groaned and tried to move. She wasn't tied down anymore. Christy sat up and kept from yelping at the cramping. There were a few men passed out on the ground and Selene was talking with someone in the corner. No one was watching her.

Was it over? Is that why Emma sent her back? Christy looked down at the scratches on her body, the sticky mess, the bruises, and every mark and bit of evidence painted a picture of a horrible evening. "Oh Raven." Her voice was a pained whisper.

Selene turned to her, she looked a little surprised. Christy wanted to kill her, to jump up and stab that bitch repeatedly. She wanted to feel that woman die. She wanted to dance while Selene's body burned. She wanted vengeance, but she wasn't sure she could even stand. "Mistress, may I go clean up before Mistress Emma comes for me?" Her voice was a painful raspy growl. She spit out the word Mistress like a curse.

"No." Selene smiled at her, but still was studying her. "I'm surprised you're talking again. I was sure you were broken. I underestimated you." Christy didn't speak she just clenched her fists, ones that ached and she noticed the cuts on her palm. She opened her hands to see where Raven had cut into her own hands with her nails.

The door slammed opened. Emma marched in, full of anger and glared at Selene. "Your time is up." Christy's heart clenched and she felt her body shake in relief as Emma came to save the body too.

She couldn't say anyone was saving Raven, because she couldn't even feel Raven anymore. Raven was in shock most likely, and Christy wasn't going to try and bring her out of it while still in this room.

Emma came up to her, and Christy noticed the blanket in Emma's arms. "I don't want Mistress Tessa to see me like this." Christy's voice cracked. "Please don't let her." It would haunt Tessa forever if she did.

"I won't let her." Emma spoke gently and wrapped Christy in the blanket, before picking Christy up. "We'll get you cleaned up first."

"I'll see you on the auction block dear. Thank you for helping me earn enough to buy you." Selene laughed.

"Kill me first." Christy was barely aware of thinking as her voice whispered the words. She stared into Emma's eyes as the blonde walked out of the room with Christy in her arms. Christy could see the tense jaw and anger radiating off to the White Queen. "Just kill me, if she wins, just kill me."

Christy might survive Raven's death, it could happen, but she wasn't going to force Raven to live through that again.

"Shh." Emma spoke softly and moved carefully and quickly with Christy in her arms towards Emma's room. Christy kept her hiss of pain to herself with each small jarring of her body.

Raven was so broken.

Emma ordered a slave she found in the halls to come with her. Christy just stared at whatever moved in front of her eyes as she clung to her lover's double. She was aware that water was running, she felt herself being lowered into it.

"I'm so sorry Raven. I won't let her get you again. Never again." Christy spoke out loud, part of her noticed the soft caresses of the wash cloth pause. "Raven, Raven, where are you?" Christy's body shook as she waited for Raven to answer her, to take over. Nothing happened. "Raven…" Her body painfully bent forward as Christy started to cry.

Emma caressed her hair and Christy looked up into Emma's face. Her arms reached out to pull the White Queen to her, clinging to her desperately.

"I shouldn't have left her." Christy's voice cracks. "God, she looks like hell. I shouldn't have left her alone." She felt the weight of her selfishness now, she left Raven to be raped repeatedly alone. Tears were falling and she burrowed her head into Emma's shoulder. "Coward, I'm a fucking coward." Emma's arguments earlier seemed so convincing because Christy didn't want to be raped, not again. She knew it would be worse this time, and it sounded so logical, she couldn't help, why be there. Why put herself through that if she couldn't help? What good would she be doing? "I'm a murderer you know. I've tortured people for information and I've killed people to survive. I bet Raven can't say that. I bet she risks her life all the time for strangers" She felt like dirt. "I bet she wouldn't have got caught if it weren't for me." Her voice was a whisper. "She would have walked right out the front door of this club, and I don't even know where the front door is." Her voice got louder. "It's not right, it's just not right."

Emma's grip on her shoulders was strong and she shook Christy harshly. "You are being a fool." Christy glared at her. "Why should you have gone through that as well, because she's more innocent than you? What good would it do? You would have spared her that if you could, do you really think she's a monster? That she would have wanted you to suffer if she did? If she's so much better than you, then surely the hero would have wanted to save you at least, knowing how much you care about her."

"She was alone."

"And now you can take care of her." Emma stared into Christy's eyes. "She's in no shape to do it herself is she?" Yes, she couldn't. With a heavy sigh Christy let go of Emma and lowered her head back to wet her hair. Take care of the body now, deal with the rest later.

"Shampoo?"

"Let me get that for you. You're arms are most likely sore." Emma poured some of her own shampoo into her hand and lathered Christy's short hair. The scent of Emma filled the room. This Emma used the same shampoo as Christy's lover. Tears trailed down her cheeks silently as this Emma was finally gentle with her, tender, caring. Christy bowed her head forward and focused on the gentle caresses that went with the shampoo.

After they'd cleaned the residue of that horrible night off of her, Emma helped Christy put on actual clothes. Sweatpants that had to be rolled up because Emma was taller, and a baggy sweatshirt that didn't look like anything Emma would own. Christy smelled another woman's perfume on it, Tessa. Even now she belonged to both of these women, even her clothes reflected that.

"Tessa called a doctor to see you." Emma spoke very quietly, while running a hand along a mark on Christy's back. "She'd like to see you as well."

Christy's jaw clenched. She hadn't had the courage to look in the mirror yet, but just looking down at her body she could tell she wouldn't like her reflection. The clothes did cover a lot though. Christy took a hesitant step towards the mirror. She hadn't wanted to see the reflection when she was naked, she knew it was bad.

She stood in front of the mirror staring. There was a bruise on her temple, one eye was a little black. Like this, fully dressed for the first time since she got to this world, she looked like she could have just had a bad sparing experience. She was even dressed in gym clothes, white pants and a green top that covered her arms, even the bruises on her wrists. Her careful steps, the pain evident in her walk, told the rest of the story, but the damage was hidden.

Tessa had to be worried.

"I can see Tessa now." Christy looked at her reflection again and took a deep breath. She could pretend Raven wasn't still silent, that it hadn't killed a part of her double's soul. Emma stepped out for a moment and Christy took a step closer to the mirror, wondering if Raven would have run when she had the chance if she knew what she knew now.

"Never could do that to Tessy." A weak, pained whisper crossed her lips and Christy gave her reflection a watery smile. Raven was somewhere inside of her, she was coming around. "It's okay Christy. It's okay."

"What's okay?" She just thought it, afraid that if she spoke it out loud Raven would lose her control of the voice.

"That you left. It's okay. I'm glad you're okay." Another tear trailed down Christy's cheek. Hero, Raven was a hero. "You didn't deserve it more, no one deserved that." There was a pause, "And you would have done it for me." It was barely whispered and then Christy found herself alone again. Raven didn't have more to give, the fact that she'd used up what little energy she had to reassure Christy made Christy feel pained, hurt. She was the one that should be reassuring and she'd broken down. She'd been weak yet again, and Raven, the real victim, had to do the equivalent of holding her as she broke down.

Christy stood taller, ignoring the pain of it, and took a deep breath. She used to be a leader, and it was time she acted like it again. She still had responsibilities and she'd take care of them. It felt like something that was dying inside of her came back to life with her renewed determination to take care of Raven. She hadn't even noticed these people winning, they'd taken her down bit by bit, but not anymore. She did her best to push her own pain away, box it up and compartmentalize it so that it didn't bother Raven.

Multiple personality disorder seemed so simple to understand now that she was essentially sharing a body with someone, not stealing it. The slice of the teacher she played in the last world wondered if she'd be able to teach Abnormal Psychology better because of that.

Christy heard the door open and she took another deep breath, while pulling the sleeves of the shirt down over black and blue skin on her wrists. It was testament to the fact that Raven obviously didn't stop struggling for a long time. It took Selene and those bastards a long time to break the Xman, the evidence pointed to that. She didn't want Tessa knowing that. She didn't want Tessa knowing how much her Raven suffered. She wished she could also hide that she'd run instead of facing it, but somehow her lack of information would make it clear she had.

"Christy?" Tessa's voice filled the bathroom and Christy turned away from the mirror to see Tessa stepping into the room. She could see Tessa's intelligent eyes taking in Christy's black eye and Christy saw the glance at her clothes.

"Hi Tessa." Christy worked damn hard to not let her voice crack. She watched as Tessa walked up to her, caught the slight hesitation of Tessa's hand as Tessa obviously wanted to touch her, but wasn't sure it would be welcome. Did Tessa think the reason Christy hadn't wanted to see her was because she blamed her? Christy took a step forward and pulled Tessa into a hug. She hadn't even considered that Tessa might take it that way.

How was she so able to read Tessa's body language? She didn't know her like she knew Emma. "Tessy." The whisper she hadn't initiated answered that.

"Raven, I brought a doctor." Tessa gently held her, while petting her hair. Christy did her best to stop the flinch she felt as that hand moved over her back, and the scratches she didn't want to admit to Tessa were there. "She might seem a little out of it, but the Hellfire club…" Tessa's words trailed off a moment. "She'll be mind wiped of this memory, and Emma might wipe out a thought or two as she sees you so that she doesn't get… I'm sorry. I did get you a woman though."

"Thank you." Christy felt the ache of cramping again and it almost made her want to bend over, to try and find some position that stopped it, but she just gritted her teeth and stayed standing. Taking care of the body included not avoiding the doctor.

"Raven, Christy." Tessa stared into her eyes like she sometimes did when she was trying to see Raven in them. "I've left several messages with the Professor." And Tessa finally said it out loud. Christy glanced towards the door hoping Emma didn't hear that. "I can only guess that they've been away, but I'm still trying to get you help. They'll come, they will, but until they do I'm not letting Selene near you again."

"You can't promise that Tessa." Christy reached out and wiped the tears off of Tessa's cheeks. The woman that normally tried not to show her emotions had tears streaming down her face. "I won't make you promise that. I want you alive, and she's so dangerous." Christy's voice cracked. It would be nice to believe that Tessa could protect her, but clearly she couldn't.

Tessa stepped back and then moved to wet her face from the sink, to cover up the tears. Christy watched how Tessa pulled her pain inside. "The doctor is waiting for you in Emma's bedroom."

"Tessa." Christy took a deep breath. "I don't know if you should see…"

"You're my slave." Tessa spoke, but the woman's eyes said something more tender. It made Christy think maybe they had an audience now. "I want to know what happened."

"No you don't." Christy looked away and down. "You really don't."

"Christy." Tessa moved a little closer. "Emma told me you called for help, that she pulled you away. It was Raven wasn't it?"

"I'm sorry." Christy started to clench her fists, but the cuts Raven had put in the palms hurt and she stopped.

"So you can't tell me what happened to her." It was partly a question.

"No." Christy had a very good idea of what happened, but she just couldn't tell Tessa, not quite what Tessa meant, but still the truth.

"But you're all covered up." Tessa gently touched the sleeve of the shirt and Christy carefully pulled the arm away before Tessa decided to pull the sleeve up and see the bruises. "Emma let you cover up. What are you hiding?"

"Tessa, you didn't stay when I was forced to… the dice… you said you didn't want to always remember." Christy wrapped her own arms around her body carefully. "You don't want to always remember this. You don't want to see what they… You just don't."

"Don't tell me what I want." Tessa stared at her with little emotion showing. "I have other people that do that, I won't take it from you. I want to know what happened to my Raven."

It hurt. Tessa's affection was never so clearly just for Raven as in that moment. "They tied her down and raped her. Selene made points off of it, charged men to be there…" Christy stopped talking when she saw the glassy eyes. She wouldn't tell Tessa everything she knew. Her voice became soft and gentle. "Still Raven told me she was glad it wasn't you. That she didn't let you take her place." The silence that got was tense.

"You need to see the doctor." Tessa moved to open the bathroom door again. "I got one that's a low level healer as well."

"Okay." Christy moved past Tessa into the large bedroom, where Emma was sitting with another woman in front of the fireplace.

Tessa stood off by the fireplace, staring into the flames and looking a little miserable. Emma patted Tessa's hand and moved to help Christy take off the clothes she'd helped her put on, so that the doctor could see it all.

"You really shouldn't have showered after the attack." Dr. Martin said gently.

"There's nothing I can do." Christy laid down on the bed. "Even if I had proof they'd get away with it." She stared up at the ceiling, her sore fists clenching as Dr. Martin touched her sex, causing more pain.

"There's tearing." Dr. Martin spoke very softly and gently to her. "It's extensive. What do you want to do? I can try to gather evidence for the police, or I can heal you."

"Just heal the body." Christy looked away from where Emma was resting a comforting hand on Tessa's shoulder. Tessa said she wanted to be here. Christy didn't like the way Tessa looked at all the scratches and didn't want to see it anymore. "Maybe I'll get a bomb and deal with the justice later." Her voice was weary and her idea only a fantasy. She wasn't sure she'd be able to risk taking Raven back here when they finally get free. Getting her caught a second time was just too much.

Her body jerked and she whimpered when the doctor touched her more intimately. Tessa was by her side holding her hand rather quickly after that. "It's okay. She's just healing you."

After the doctor left Christy still laid on the bed. Her sex no longer hurt, the pill she took should take care of pregnancy, and most of her scratches were healing, but not healed. Dr. Martin was a very low level healer, and she'd focused what energy she had on the more serious problems. The bruises that showed Raven's struggle were left to heal naturally. From the way Christy had trouble keeping her eyes opened, she suspected she'd been giving a tranquilizer as well.

Tessa tucked her in gently, before moving to the table with Emma. They were both going to watch over her as she slept. It did make Christy feel a little safer.

………………….

"Take care of her." Christy heard Tessa's voice. "What no talk about being too attached Emma?" Tessa asked and Christy opened her eyes to stare at the two women, watching the gentle hug.

"You were out of it." Emma whispered and Christy had to enhance her hearing to catch it.

"I know." Tessa sighed. "If she has nightmares, please, just hold her." Tessa stepped out of the room and Christy struggled to understand why Emma's shoulders slumped a little after closing the door.

Christy had to swallow a few times, her throat was that dry. "Emma?"

Emma straightened up immediately and turned to look at her. "Oh, so you're waking up now." As Christy struggled to sit, her muscles protesting any motion, because now she could feel how much of a beating Raven's body had taken. Emma moved to the side of the bed.

"Tessa, where did she go?"

"She had some business to deal with." Emma sat on the side of the bed, and faced her. "I can get you some water if you aren't able to get it yourself."

"No, no I can…" Christy didn't hear sympathy in Emma's voice now, but she didn't hear cruelty either. Christy moved to push the sheets off her herself and got out of bed. She was actually a little grateful Emma wasn't acting like she was broken. Christy poured a glass of water, both the glass and the pitcher had been on the nightstand. She took long drinks, trying to cure her dry mouth.

Her big yawn as she set the glass down reminded her of sick days as a kid, of laying on the couch in the living room as her mother made her soup to make her feel better. Maybe it was the combination of the drugged feeling, the yawn and the softness in Emma's eyes.

She missed the days when a bowl of soup and some cartoons made her feel better. Hell, she missed her mother. Christy sighed heavily and moved to lay back down. It did no good to remember the past, it only hurt.

"I've got reports to read." Emma spoke as she moved to pick up a briefcase, which looked a little odd in her hand, since the White Queen was still dressed in her corset and all.

"Do you go to board room meetings dressed like that?" Christy teased weakly. It earned her a small hint of a smile on Emma's lips.

"No, I wear a business suit, and I don't even wear this under it."

"Okay, just wondered." Christy turned onto her side gingerly, trying to keep from hurting. Too bad they couldn't find a more powerful healer, the muscle strain Raven had wasn't something Dr. Martin spent time working with, since she was so busy with tears and gouges.

"Hurting?" Emma set the briefcase down on the foot of the bed and looked up at her.

"Yeah, I'm sore, my back."

"Need some pills?"

"No." She'd had more than enough pills. With just Emma here Christy felt a little better being aware, awake. Selene wouldn't try to take her back would she? Not until the auction at least. Christy rested her head on the pillow and worried. How many points did Selene get by letting people rape her? Did Tessa even have a chance of outbidding her?

Emma's getting into bed beside her and turning on the lamp on that side so she could read reports was so very familiar. Christy had had to learn to sleep with the soft sounds of pages turning and the light on when she started staying the night in her Emma's room. It was comforting now.

She readjusted, trying to find a position that didn't make her back hurt. The soft petting after she'd laid back down was distracted, but gentle. Christy could hear a page turning and then the hand returned to her hair. Fingers gently combed through the short light brown hair and tickled her scalp in a nice way. Eventually Christy fell back asleep, her body relaxing more than it had the first time.

………………

Christy stared at her breakfast while sitting at the table with Emma. Her fork listlessly moved the egg around on the plate. She had this horrible feeling that something was wrong, aside from all the things that were wrong, she just felt like she wasn't catching something she should, something important.

She'd been in Emma's rooms for a day now, not having to leave. The thought of leaving and seeing any of the people that had been in that room sickened her. Would she even recognize who had and who hadn't hurt Raven? Was there a member of the Hellfire club left that hadn't?

"Are you really going to buy that choker for her?" Christy asked just to fill the silence. She didn't bother to look up from her eggs to see the woman reading the business section of the newspaper.

"I plan to."

"I wish," Christy's words trailed off for a moment. What harm could it do? "I wish I could get the two of you something, but I can honestly say this is the worst Christmas I ever had." And taking into consideration the two she'd spent while her world was falling apart, that was saying something. "When I get out of here there is no way in hell I'm coming back to deliver gifts."

"I don't suppose you would." Emma lowered her newspaper. "Feeling like you're getting away soon?"

"One way or another." Christy's eyes were cold, dead, as she looked into Emma's blue eyes. "One way or another, I'm leaving." She looked down at her eggs again. "If it's the other way, you'll take care of Tessa for me?"

"I don't understand why you're so attached to her." Emma's paper was set aside. "From what I heard you were in love with an Emma, but here you cling to Tessa."

"You aren't exactly my Emma." Christy set her fork down and looked up. "My Emma never demanded oral sex before sending me to the corner like a dog. Tessa's never used me, not once. She's touched me, but that wasn't rape, it was never bad, I never felt dirty or used. She never used me, it got to the point where I wanted her to." Christy watched Emma's poker face and sighed. "I know you aren't bad. You don't belong here. What is this place doing to you? My Emma left the Hellfire club. Maybe you should think about it."

"Don't start lecturing me slave." Christy flinched at Emma's use of that title. The sudden rumble in her stomach came with a nauseous feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. Christy was up and moving to the bathroom in a flash, just making it to the toilet in time to throw up.

Once she finished she rested her forehead on the vanity, not getting up from her place kneeling near the toilet. Raven really didn't like being called that anymore.

"Here." A white boot moved into her field of vision. Emma squatted beside her and held out a glass of water.

"They don't count trauma as permanent do they?" She whispered before drinking. "Please don't call us slave again, not here at least. Raven can't take it."

"You're starting to sound a little insane."

"Well, then you haven't been listening hard enough, I've been sounding insane for a while now." Christy set the glass down and worked to get up. It wasn't as easy as getting down. Emma reached out to help her.

…………….

Tessa didn't come back until lunch time. Christy watched as Tessa crossed the room to her and sat on the couch with Christy. Christy set the magazine Emma had given her aside and moved closer to Tessa, studying her face for some hint to where she'd been. "Hi." They still hadn't talked about a lot. Tessa just gave her a slight smile, probably at the very poor ice breaker. "I missed you. Are you okay?"

"I didn't tell her anything." Emma said while pouring herself a drink already. It was just noon and Emma was drinking. "But I think your…" Emma stopped talking and glanced at Christy again. "Well, Christy, has been waiting for you." Emma didn't call her a slave.

"I just had some things I had to do. I'm fine." Tessa's voice was a little rough sounding, and she seemed to be talking softer to try and disguise it. Christy gave her a questioning look, but she didn't ask, instead she glanced at Emma, who apparently didn't tell her something. Emma was making her way into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect her better." Christy whispered, hoping for forgiveness, even if she wasn't sure she deserved it better.

"Oh Christy." Tessa spoke softly and pulled Christy into a hug. "I don't blame you. I should have…"

"No, one thing we both agreed on was that we didn't want anyone hurting you, using you, ever again." Christy talked in a firm whisper. She moved carefully to get closer. Her hand moved to caress Tessa's cheek. "I think Raven loves you." She whispered as if she were a high school student sharing a friend's secret crush. She smiled, but when it didn't get a smile back hers faded.

"After what Selene did I couldn't…" Tessa stared her in the eye and Christy's eyes fell to a slight bruise she hadn't noticed on Tessa's neck. She stared at it a moment then back into Tessa's eyes. She didn't like what she saw there. "You might hear about it. I…"

"No." Christy protested in a whisper. "No, Tessa… you didn't…"

"It was Sebastian's night for you last night. I've serviced him before, so it was nothing new to me." Christy felt like her heart had been stomped on.

"Not for me. Tessa, never for me." Her eyes hardened, Sebastian and his fucking parties. She reached out to move the cloak that Tessa had draped across her lap, and took in the bruises on her thighs. "Oh God Tessa."

"It's alright. It was just the one night, and he's hardly as savage as Selene."

"No." Christy shook her head. "It's not alright. It's never alright." She pulled Tessa into a hug, holding her desperately while trying to control her own anger. "Never for me Tessy. I'd rather die then have you hurt for me, hurt at all." Christy didn't fight it when she found herself unable to control any movement or the words coming out her mouth. "Come home. Screw your mission and come home."

"I can't do that Raven." Tessa whispered so quietly. "Don't ask me that. I wish I could, but I can't."

"Then buy me and keep me." Christy felt Raven pulling Tessa to her tightly, it hurt to do it. "Don't send me away. I'm so tired of being away from you."

"I can't protect you here. You have to go home. I'm sorry." Tessa ran her hand over Raven's hair and Christy knew her double's heart had to be breaking. She had to really love Tessa to offer to stay in this hell for her.

Christy found herself in control suddenly. Raven retreated rather than cry most likely. She opened her mouth to say something, but the bathroom door opened again and Emma was there. Christy just pulled back from Tessa and stared at the carpet. "I'm gonna take a shower." She muttered as she got up. She needed some privacy, some space. God, she needed to scream, and yell, and beat on something, but she was going to be lucky to get a private moment in the shower.

She would have serviced Sebastian so that Tessa didn't have to. Her abuse was so recent and for Tessa she would have. The Professor sent this poor woman into this hell and Christy wanted to scream that the old man didn't deserve Tessa's loyalty.

She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her without looking at either of the other women in the room. She took off the full clothes she was now allowed to wear, putting the pants and shirt close to the shower stall.

Her glance into the mirror made her wish she had thought of another way to be alone. Raven's body was still bruised and some of the cuts were still there. Christy stepped into the stall. "Not her lover." She whispered and shook her head. That looked like an outright lie now.

"I never made love to her." A sorrowful whisper escaped her lips and Christy reached for the soap as Raven spoke. "We wanted to, but we never got a chance and then the Professor sent her on a mission. She's been gone for years."

"I'm so sorry." Christy thought as she lathered up. She was sorry for a lot of things. Raven deserved better than she was getting in this life. She found herself alone again. Raven needed someone to talk to so badly she exhausted herself just so she could say a few words here and there.

…………………

Things were a little awkward when she came back out of the bathroom after far too long. The water apparently never gets cold in this building. Her skin was pruning and hot from the shower, her hair slicked back rather than drying it. Christy saw Emma and Tessa playing chess yet again.

Tessa let herself get raped for Christy and Raven. It was hard to accept, but she couldn't ignore it. Christy moved to sit on the floor by Tessa's feet and rested her head on Tessa's thigh.

"You're wet." Tessa looked down at her with a slight smile.

"No, more like damp." Christy kissed Tessa's leg while staring up at the woman. "I'll dry soon, short hair and all." She leaned her head back on Tessa's leg. "My hair is actually much longer, comes to between my shoulder blades. I have it colored, added blonde and red. Of course I don't have to let it dry, there are ways around that if you're a shapeshifter." She was just rambling. Tessa's soft touch slowed her words. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Tessa spoke gently and Christy heard the chess piece move. Tessa really could do anything and still play chess. "And you're mine tonight. We'll be moving you to my room later."

"Okay, Mistress." Christy wrapped an arm around Tessa's leg and held her. She knew she would probably be allowed to sit in a chair, but she needed to hold Tessa right now.

Tessa always let her sleep in the bed, and that night Christy cuddled for all she was worth.

………………….

One week. Christy stood in front of the mirror, staring at her black clad form. The bruises and some cuts still showed, but she had to wear the corset and all tonight. It was hard to believe she'd only been in this world one week. It felt like a year.

She took a deep breath and shaky hands moved to comb her hair. It was auction night, and Tessa had turned down her request for a poison pill. Tessa said to trust her, that Selene wouldn't get her, but Christy knew Selene had a lot more points.

They walked towards the party and weren't even there when she heard the door slam open. A few screams, and a very butch looking Storm was standing in the hallway glaring at Tessa and Sebastian. "I believe you have one of ours." Storm's voice was cold and dangerous.

"Go." Tessa whispered quietly in her ear, as a strange assortment of Xmen came to stand by Storm. It was so anticlimactic how Nightcrawler grabbed her and teleported away. Christy didn't even see the fight and she worried about the two women in that building she cared about, but Logan, a very young teenager that had to be Kitty, Storm and a large young man joined them not too long after, making Christy think it hadn't been a hard fight. God, after everything she went through it was nothing for these Xmen to come get her, easy. Somehow she might have felt better if it were hard to do, she might have felt like less of a failure for not being able to do it herself.

"We heard you got captured kid." Logan moved into the car beside her. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Christy lied and moved to stare out the window as Storm got in to drive. She sighed. She'd tell them who they'd really saved once they were away from here. She didn't want to stick around long enough for anyone to decide to give chase.


	17. Hellfire 1 Part 6

500 Miles

Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Warning on language.

Nightcrawler was only a familiar face because she'd met him in the first world she visited, but this one was younger. Christy glanced at the blue man again and then out the window. She'd listened to the lecture about going out on her own barely without saying anything. Apparently Raven was left out of missions on purpose often, because people didn't respect her lack of offensive powers or defensive powers. Christy could understand how useless her doubles powers might seem, but she'd done well in her home world with only her ability to sense death. It could be done.

Christy pitied her double yet again. Raven paid a harsh price to be a member of the team, lost the woman she loved for this team, and she couldn't tell them. She'd more than earned her right to be a hero if she wanted it, but Christy couldn't understand how Raven could follow a man like Xavier. Look what he'd done to Tessa. Christy could never follow a man that did something like that to someone she loved, or even someone she didn't even like all that much.

Storm's Mohawk drew her eyes a few times. Strangely that looked good on her. The leather made Storm look like a bigger dyke than Christy really was though, and Christy thought about some of the speculation people in her own world, the ones that saw the Xmen as comic book characters, had about Storm. Some said gay, some bi, some straight, but there was a lot of debate about Storm's sexual orientation. Maybe Christy would just ask.

"Good luck getting an answer." She barely heard the whisper out of her own lips.

"What?" Logan turned to look at her and Christy shook her head with a slight smile. She wasn't eager to start talking and accidentally expose herself to be the one possessing their teammate, instead of their teammate.

"Nice outfit." Kitty smirked at her. Christy glanced at the slavewear she still had on, the corset and panties, the cuffs, and just sighed, before looking out the window. She was pretty sure Raven would have been embarrassed to have her teammates see her like this before, but neither of them cared now. At least the cuffs covered the worst of the bruises. "You don't seem all that happy to be free."

"Oh I'm happy." Christy finally spoke. She just wished Tessa came with her.

Storm pulled onto the freeway and Christy could feel the tension in the car. She looked around to see Logan staring at her. "Want ta tell us why you were there?"

"Or what happened to you?" Kitty was staring at her wrists and Christy self consciously pulled her cuff down a little further to cover the bruise that had been revealed because Tessa hadn't wanted to make these too tight when Christy was still injured. It was dark enough that there was a chance Kitty was just looking at the cuffs and not the bruises.

Great, she had a choice of two questions to answer, one she couldn't and the other she didn't think was something they could talk about here. Christy sighed and her shoulders slumped a little. "Not really." The intelligent eyes staring at her from the rearview mirror as Storm glanced at her seemed a little concerned.

"How are you?" Kitty just wouldn't drop it. Christy turned to stare out at New York, yet another New York.

"It wasn't a great week." She spoke quietly and flinched a little when Logan reached out and rested a hand on her knee for just a moment. He moved it away after he felt her flinch.

"Darlin' do I need to go back and kill someone?" He spoke gently.

Christy turned to stare at him. Should she tell him?

"I thought Xmen didn't kill." Kitty muttered, and Christy looked at the sour look on the girls face. Kitty didn't get what they were talking about. Well she was a kid, and she shouldn't be on the damned team. Again the Professor was sacrificing a kid for his dream.

She turned to stare out the window again.

"Raven?" Logan spoke again, while Kitty was talking with the Russian boy.

Christy tried to open her mouth and tell him that he was right and that Raven had been raped, but Raven chose that moment to push her way into control. She couldn't answer him. Okay, she could take a hint. Raven didn't want to talk about this, or hear her talk about it either. "It was nothing Logan." Raven lied.

"It wasn't your fault, you don't have to lie about it." Christy thought to her double, concerned about her. "Are these people your friends, can't you trust them?" Christy added as gently as she could.

Raven didn't respond, but Christy felt she had no choice but to give Raven what she wanted for now. A van probably wasn't the best place to reveal this anyhow.

The rest of the ride to the mansion was filled with Kitty's nonstop chattering about the mission they'd been on, the one that kept them from coming to get Raven right away. Kitty proudly talked about her own contributions in that mission. Christy wished she would just shut up. She didn't say it though; the girl's talking did keep the conversation away from her experiences.

When she got to the mansion she got out of the van and moved towards the mansion, while being careful to not seem too surprised by the appearance. In the first world it had looked like a complex, but here is really was just one mansion. Someday this thing was going to get knocked down. She took the stairs, glad that most of her muscle pain had eased up. She waited for the boy, Piotr, to go inside, before following him, because she wasn't sure if there was a security system on the door as well as the gate, and she hadn't told anyone who she was yet.

As she stepped in Christy twisted her ankle just so and fell partly. It was a carefully orchestrated move. She hissed in fake pain and limped a few steps. "Are you alright?" A German accent was the first to ask.

"Kurt," Christy turned to look at him. "Can you help me to my room?" It couldn't have been more perfect. The teleporter just picked her up and ported her there. She'd have a tough time finding her way back, but she bought more time. "Thank you." She rested her hand on his shoulder as he put her down.

"My pleasure." He smiled at her and then tilted his head just a little. "The Professor would like to talk to you after you change." He blushed a little as he glanced at her outfit and then looked away. That shyness made her feel a bit embarrassed herself. She'd gotten used to it, but here, being the only one dressed like this, it was no longer comfortable. One good thing was that he was the first to see her in the light and he was too shy to really look.

"Okay, well then I guess I'll have to change." She smiled weakly at him before opening the door for him. He could have teleported, but Christy wanted to see which direction he would walk so she had something to start with when she left this room. She closed the door gently and turned to lean on the door and stare at the room.

"I've never seen another Christy's room before." She spoke softly to Raven as she took in the large bedroom. It looked like Raven had a single, instead of sharing like Christy remembered reading a lot of the Xstudents had to do. That was one thing she was grateful for.

Christy took a deep breath as she realized that this was the first time she had actually been alone since she got there. Brief stolen moments here and there didn't compare to the fact that she could turn the lock on this door, so she did. Privacy. Her tense muscles started to relax.

Her hand caressed the dresser as she looked at the pictures. On one side of the mirror sat a picture of a younger Raven, dressed in the traditional black and yellow, sitting with the original Xmen. Christy reached out and picked up the team picture. She looked into the smiling faces of Scott and Jean, the joking look Bobby had on his face, but it was Raven's eyes that drew her attention. The smile looked false and her eyes looked sad. "You were an original Xmen?" Christy whispered as she stared a little longer. Raven didn't answer her. Christy glanced at the more recent photo, with Raven sitting on a couch and Storm standing behind her. The people that had just rescued her were all in that picture. Raven's new team apparently. Why wasn't she still with the others?

Christy moved to look at the room more objectively, or attempting to. It was hard to play spy in her own double's room. She caressed the bedspread as she passed it to look at a collection of drawings on the wall. They were good. She could see Jean sleeping with her head down on a desk. Another with Storm laying out in the sun. Another of a familiar pose but no details in the face, Tessa was hidden in plain sight on Raven's wall. The small scrawled signature in the corner of the drawings surprised her. Her double could draw and she did it well. Christy leaned closer and studied the clean lines and shading. She'd always wished she had artistic ability and here this Raven did. Raven had to, because she had no pictures of her Tessa. Christy saw other familiar poses, or the backs of women with short black hair. Christy would bet money that Tessa used to have short hair. Raven was probably passing her Tessa off as a character and not a memory.

The entire wall has scatterings of Raven's art, framed in whatever must have been on sale from the wide selection of frames Christy could see and arranged in a wild non-order. Christy glanced over Scott, barely took a moment to see Logan, she was searching for Tessa and she was finding her in the backgrounds of quite a few drawings, the main character in a few others. God, Raven must have been in a lot of pain when Tessa left.

"Just because you never made love to her doesn't mean you weren't lovers." Christy whispered as her finger traced over the line of Tessa's cheek on a more abstract drawing. Raven and Christy had more in common than Christy thought. It was just that Raven was searching for her lover in her own world, fighting things that kept them apart while still coming home to the same bed every night.

The cool breeze near the window reminded Christy she wasn't really dressed yet. She moved back to the dresser and searched out more comfortable underwear and socks. After setting them on the dresser she removed the clothes she'd been given, setting the cuffs and corset in a drawer, and since she didn't know where the laundry went she shoved the underwear in there. She'd wash them all later. It was morbid but if Raven had all those pictures of Tessa around, she might want to keep the clothes Tessa gave her to wear. Raven could figure it out later.

She stood in front of the closet in her fresh underwear and warm socks, looking over the selection. It was more varied than Christy would have expected. There were a few elegant dresses, jeans, tshirts, a business outfit or two. Maybe Raven wasn't the spy Christy was training to be, but her closet was a good start. There probably wasn't an occasion that Raven didn't have an outfit for.

The green sweatshirt caught her eye and Christy reached out to pull it off the hanger. It had a prominent place and was most likely a favorite. She pulled it over her head and then searched for a loose looking pair of pants to go with it. Tight pants would aggravate her bruises and cuts. Jeans would be too rough.

It took some work to find sweatpants, but she did. They even went with the shirt. Christy pulled them on and then stared as her feet didn't pop out the bottom. These were for someone taller. Given the height of most Xmen it could be almost anyone.

Still it was the softest pants she found so Christy just carefully folded the legs and tucked them into the socks in such a way they looked like they fit. She then pulled on some tennis shoes and moved back to the mirror. She was covered. Christy pulled on the sleeves noticing how they more than did the job.

The bed was soft as she sat on it with a sigh. The old man could wait a long time for all she cared. "Raven." She spoke softly. "Are you doing okay?" If this were a separate person in a separate body she'd caress her gently and look into her eyes with concern, but she couldn't do that.

She didn't get an answer, so Christy just sighed and ran her hand gently over her other arm, petting herself through the soft shirt. Christy laid back on the bed and took a deep breath, trying to feel more comfortable in these surroundings. "What do you want me to do about the Professor?" Christy imagined her rifle and his shiny bald head in the crosshairs. Would that help Raven and Tessa? Christy started to seriously consider it, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Just a minute." She called out loud enough to be heard out the door. A head popped through the door and smiled at her.

"Professor wanted me to make sure you didn't fall asleep. He's waiting."

"I could have been naked." Christy glared at the girl.

"But you weren't." Still Kitty blushed a little before stepping into the room right through the closed door. Interesting power.

Kitty was staring at her, studying her. "The Professor told us about how there are two of you. That you've possessed Raven."

"Yeah, but it's temporary." Christy patted the bed as an invitation. "It was an accident and I'll fix it. It just takes time." How much did Tessa tell the Professor and why didn't anyone question how he knew this? Well, it was nice she didn't have to tell them herself and deal with the disbelief. She was sick of having to prove she didn't belong.

Really in all the worlds she'd been to, it was Tessa that believed her the easiest. Of course Tessa was the first person to actually know her double, and Tessa would pick up differences easily.

"What was it like where you come from?"

"Look, I'm really not in the mood to chat. I haven't had a great time since I got here." Christy sighed.

"What was it like, what happened?"

Christy opened her mouth to brush this aside, but then she stared at the girl, wondering if Tessa had been this age when she came to Xavier, or if she was older. "It was horrible." She spoke wearily.

Kitty moved to sit on the bed next to her and Christy hoped her double would forgive this, but she really didn't want to see a kid like Kitty become the next Tessa, or sadly enough Raven. "What happened? I don't think the others will tell me later, will they?" And Kitty proved to be more observant than Christy was giving her credit for.

"I was raped." Kitty gasped. "And that's just the start of the fun I've had, we've had. Raven actually had it worse." Christy stared into Kitty's paling face. "These missions aren't always a few punches and running away. It's dangerous Kitty."

"Oh God." Kitty whispered. "If we'd come sooner?"

She could sugar coat it, but she wouldn't. If Xavier was going to send children into danger they deserved to know the truth. "The worst of it, absolute worst, happened after someone tried to get word to the Professor for me. The White Queen had to save me, but no one could save Raven, and Tessa got me a doctor to heal up the damage. Emma and Tessa are the only reason we're alive." Only because if Christy didn't have those two to lean on she would have risked it all on an escape attempt, preferring death to that life. Christy sighed heavily.

Kitty opened her mouth, but she closed it softly before saying anything. The talkative girl couldn't think of something to say most likely. When the concern disappeared suddenly and Kitty sat up a bit more energetically Christy's eyes widened. "The Professor wants to see you now." Kitty stood up, moving like a teenager without a care and Christy's eyes hardened. She'd seen a mind wipe before. She knew if she asked Kitty what she'd just said Kitty wouldn't be able to answer her.

"Oh, well that's good." Her voice held a hint of a growl. "Because I really want to see him. Take me to him." She didn't bother with pretending to know the way. Kitty gave her a strange look, but stood up with her.

………………..

"How much did Tessa tell you?" Christy spoke coldly as she moved to sit in the chair across from his desk. The way he watched her made it clear he was intrigued by her. She watched him carefully as he leaned forward and put his folded hands on the desk.

"I know that you've possessed Raven, but that she's still aware."

Christy swallowed. Her possessing Raven didn't seem like the main issue right now. Christy pulled her sleeves up and put her battered wrists on the desk. She watched him look at them. "Raven fought hard, she probably would have cut her own hands off to get away. I don't know how many people raped her, well over thirty total I'd guess." Her words were an angry clip. "Are you going to make her keep it a secret, like she did something wrong? Is she supposed to just get over it? How about the fact that she knows Tessa endured a few rapes in her place to protect her, the woman she loves had no other alternative but to take her place because she couldn't contact you and you didn't give her any other contacts she could use." She was staring into his face as he looked at her bruises, but she didn't see shock, regret was there, but no shock. Christy suspected he knew about the rapes, probably told Tessa that the work she did was so valuable it was worth her pain. That would explain why Tessa stayed there.

Christy's eyes hardened. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm trying to help build a world where mutants and humans…"

"No, I'm talking about right now." Christy interrupted him. "Are you thinking what a shame, looks like Raven won't be useful for a little while. Who else can I send into danger until I can convince her to sell her soul to me again? OH, and I'm so glad Tessa handles being raped better than Raven, it means I can leave here there for years." Christy slammed her fists down on his desk and the pain radiated up her arms, but she didn't acknowledge it. "Or are you thinking about the therapy Raven needs and how you can get Tessa out of there before she's hurt again?"

His silence disgusted her. "You are a fucking monster." She remembered calling someone else that, but it applied to him too. Christy stood up. "I'll be working on separating from Raven. I know you want your pawn back, but it might take a little while."

"I've removed Raven's clearance to the more sensitive parts of the mansion, just until she's in control again. I can have Kitty or one of the others show you around."

"Yes, about Kitty." Christy stopped walking away. "Any reason why you wouldn't let her remember my telling her about the rapes? Would that be so that she wasn't leery of following you? Perhaps you plan to send the little girl to the Hellfire club as a Christmas gift next year? They don't treat their Christmas gifts well there."

"I would never send a child into that." He sounded angry.

"Oh, but you did." Christy's fists clenched. "And you sent someone's lover too. Why didn't you send Jean? Why Tessa? Why was Raven's love worth so little to you, but Scott's you kept here and protected?" Her eyes were watery and she turned to grab the handle. "You better think of a good answer, because I'm sure Raven would love to know, and Tessa deserves to know." She opened the door.

"Where are you going?"

"We're tired. We've had a rough week and just want to get some sleep." Christy's sarcasm and anger filled the room before she slammed the door hard enough to hear something crack as she left.

She doubted that anything she could say would sway that man, but Raven was a witness to everything Christy did, and Christy didn't want her double near that man. Charles Xavier was a traitor. That man took in young mutants and manipulated them into doing what he wanted, and if he could do what he did to Tessa, he was clearly not a good man in this world. Any man that would send a young girl into the Hellfire club to spy, abandon her to that treatment, was not a good man.

Why the hell did Raven stay here after Tessa left?

Christy walked up the stairs, ignoring Storm's searching look as she passed the woman and moved into Raven's bedroom again. She wasn't in the mood to play twenty questions, and anyone here would want to know more about her, or what happened, and why bother to tell anyone if Xavier wouldn't let them remember?

Who in the hell was going to be there for Raven when Christy left if he wouldn't let anyone remember what she told them about the rape? Was it so that he could continue to control Tessa, so that the Hellfire club was kept safe so he had something to spy on?

She had never liked that man.

Christy moved to lay on the bed fully clothed and stared at the ceiling again. She would have liked to talk to Raven, but she didn't know what to say. The person Raven had decided to trust with her life wasn't trustworthy, and Raven's lover was still in that hell. Did Raven have anyone she could trust? Anyone else?

"My family wasn't thrilled with having a mutant in the house." Raven whispered. Christy felt like her heart was being squeezed, that was horrible. Christy wrapped her arms around her body and tried to convey to Raven who she was really hugging. "These people, the Xmen, are the only family I have left." And that answered why Raven stayed.

"I'm sorry." Christy thought as she moved a hand to caress her stomach softly, moving the shirt out of her way so she could.

"He really knows doesn't he?" Raven's voice cracked. "He knew all along what they were doing to my Tessa."

"I think so." Christy thought and let the tears fall. Raven was crying. "Oh Baby, I'm so sorry." Christy thought and she hated that she was trapped inside at this moment.

It would be so easy for her to kill that man for Raven. He'd never see it coming. He was just a telepath and they didn't have any power over Christy.

"You said you were a murderer." Raven spoke softly, asking one question Christy really didn't want to hear. "Seeing you from here, that's hard to believe."

Christy thought for a moment. How could she explain that she had to kill, and kill so often, to protect and provide for the people depending on her? How could she admit this to Raven without looking like a monster? She could lie and say everyone she killed was evil, but they weren't, or she didn't know if they were. She killed those that were convenient. Christy thought about her home world, the violence and death. She remembered Casey and lowering her into the ground, how watching the children die got too hard and she resorted to drastic measures to try and avoid watching them die. It took Emma's telepathic abilities to explain this to her lover, she showed Emma everything, but verbally, she had never really tried to explain it.

"Hell." The voice distracted her. "Your world was like I imagined hell to be." Raven sounded a bit shocked, and Christy realized how much her double could see of her thoughts. Somehow she hadn't expected that she shared everything she thought about.

"Yes it was hell." Christy thought mentally sighed. It was a strange feeling not controlling her mouth, but she didn't want to take it back, because she couldn't hear Raven's thoughts. It was all one way. "But I really did learn that what doesn't kill you can make you stronger." She thought about the rape and wanted her double to know she could come out of that stronger. That it didn't have to destroy her.

"You were raped too."

"But I left the worst of it to you." Christy felt a wave of guilt about that again. "And yes it may take a while, but I plan to be okay, because I won't let them win. They wanted to break us Raven, it wasn't about anything else but trying to hurt us, and I refuse to give them that."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It isn't." Christy caressed Raven's stomach again. "It's damn hard to shake off pain, but it's better than living with it. I've buried so many people I loved, it's sad to say but I learned to distance myself from pain because I had to. I would have killed myself long ago if I didn't learn how to survive, to keep moving." Christy rarely talked so frankly about herself, but Raven needed this.

"Don't kill the Professor." Raven spoke so quietly it was a strain to hear it and she was right there.

"Okay." Christy still wanted to do it, but Raven said no, and Raven's no was going to mean something again. She wasn't going to rape Raven of her choices. Still, Raven and Tessa would be better off if that bastard died.

"I'm tired." Raven told her and Christy rolled onto her side while kicking off the shoes. In the morning they could decide what to do now.

……………….

Christy rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Her Emma hadn't filled her thoughts lately and she felt a little guilty about that. Her life had consisted of just surviving for this past week, and she knew it was normal that she'd pushed other concerns away, but it felt like she'd been even further from her lover than normal. It was still hard to believe she was safe, she felt like she still needed to watch her every move, but these were Raven's people. It was over, wasn't it? It was time to work on separating from her double.

"Can we try it without Emma first?" Raven asked. "I mean, we are connected differently, you said so, and I've watched the Professor training Tessa. I know something about telepathy, even if I can't experience it."

"Is that how you take over and talk to me?" Christy asked teasingly. "I'm not sure I want a trained Xman next time, it's a little creepy." She smiled a little, and wondered how insane they'd look if anyone could watch this conversation. "Although you are the prettiest body I've possessed lately."

"Are you flirting with me?" Raven chuckled and Christy managed to blush. "You are. Oh my god." It was just natural for Christy to flirt, but when she thought about it, it was probably a little creepy. "A little creepy, yeah." Raven's voice softened. "It's sweet too." Raven took control of a hand and Christy's eyes widened when she lost the control. This was new. That hand caressed Raven's stomach softly, bare skin because the shirt had ridden up in their sleep.

"Any chance you can move that hand a little lower?" Christy teased and the petting stopped.

"Forget it pervert." Raven attempted teasing but the voice was too tense. Christy couldn't feel what the expression on their face was. Strange that it would be harder to read the woman whose body she was in than someone outside of her.

They hadn't really tried talking this much at the club, they didn't have nearly enough privacy for it. Doing it now gave Christy a strange feeling of closeness and a little nervousness. She hated to think it, but she worried about becoming the weaker one, the one trapped and unable to move anything herself. It was selfish, she knew that, but she preferred to be in control. Raven was the first one that could take that away from her. Christy was pretty sure given time Raven could do it.

"So there is no reason to think I can't help you separate by myself if you think I'm so powerful." Raven interrupted Christy's thoughts. "And now that you're a little more relaxed this is easier."

"We can try to do it without Emma, but we might need her." Christy could understand Raven's reluctance to letting Emma in.

"You know I'm surprised the others haven't tried to wake me for breakfast yet." Raven's control of the hand was underlined by the caresses continuing. Raven didn't want to talk about needing Emma just yet. It had to be hard to have to trust someone you considered an enemy, but really, the person Raven had trusted proved to be untrustworthy. Sometimes new alliances had to be formed.

Christy might not trust that Emma completely, but she did like her. That Emma had come through for her when she needed her to. She'd tried to help spare Tessa pain as well. Emma had also looked upset with Tessa going to Sebastian.

"Maybe they figure you deserve your rest." Christy answered gently. "Or maybe they're not so sure about me."

"Or maybe they're busy with Christmas stuff." Raven sighed. "God, I want to skip that this year. The sight of decorations makes me sick and the music… All I can see is them hurting me when I hear it. I hear a song and I remember what I was doing the last time I heard it." The hand caressing stopped and Christy felt herself regain control of it. "I just want them to pack up the tree I know is in the living room and hide it so I don't have to see it."

"We could avoid that room if you want." Christy didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't like she was all that fond of the reminders either. Her stomach growled, reminding her that it was past time for breakfast.

"Go get something for us to eat." Raven sighed. "I'm getting tired with all this talking anyhow."

"Love you." Christy thought, feeling helpless to ease the emotional scars, but wanting to.

"Flirt." Raven chuckled weakly, it sounded fake, like the woman was trying to pretend to be okay, and then Raven was gone. Christy sighed as she rolled out of bed and stared down at the clothes she'd fallen asleep in. A little straightening and it was good for another day. It wasn't like she wore it long before sleeping and really it was the most comfortable thing in Raven's closet.

"You could have told me how to get to the kitchen before you took off." Christy mumbled before opening the bedroom door and stepping out into the hall.

………………

Christy finally stepped into a large kitchen, with a soft sigh of relief at having found it she moved towards the refrigerator.

"Raven is a friend of mine." A cold voice spoke and Christy turned to see the black clad woman staring at her from the kitchen table. "I would hope you know better than to hurt her in any way." Storm's eyes were just as cold as her voice. Christy just stared for a moment, grateful that someone here was protective of her double.

"I'm doing my best not to." Christy told her as sincerely as she could and then moved towards the fridge. "How long has she been an artist?" She asked as she inspected the selection. "Her drawings are beautiful. I can't do that."

"As long as I've known her," Storm still sounded suspicious, but not as blatantly so, "she's been moving around drawing anyone standing still long enough. For my birthday she gave me a painting of myself."

Christy grabbed the orange and turned to look at Storm. "She paints too. Okay, officially feeling like the less talented sister." That earned her a more relaxed pose from Storm as Christy faced her while peeling her breakfast. "I always wanted to be able to do those things, but I never learned. Art just never was my thing."

"What was your thing?"

Christy had to think about that one for a moment. She had lots of interests, but nothing she'd pursued back in her home world. "School, I went to college for years and everything else was put on hold." And if she knew then what she knew now, she would have picked the major she wanted instead of the one that gave her a better future. "Then I became a teacher."

As Christy ate her orange they talked about the classes Christy used to teach. She was trying to make people believe she was more harmless than she really was, because she liked having the ability to walk around freely.

"How did a teacher end up here, stuck in my friend's body?" And the accusative tone was back. Storm had pretended to be put at ease. Good actress.

Christy sighed as she sat down at the kitchen table with Storm. "I have different powers than Raven. My lover and I were attacked and I used them, but I got caught up in my own portal, dimensional portal, and I've been trying to find my way home ever since." She slumped down in her chair a little. "Every time I get the wrong world I get stuck in another Christy's body, and it takes me a while to get free and try it all over again."

"Raven doesn't go by Christy." Storm's hand was warm as it settled over her own. "Her split from her family was too traumatic, she prefers Raven to the name her mother gave her." And that was baffling. Christy had talked to three other versions of her mother and knew her own mother well. She couldn't imagine a situation that would make that woman turn her own daughter away.

"Okay, I'll remember that." Christy gave Storm a nod to acknowledge the advice.

"And my name is Ororo."

"Ro.. Ro..." Christy teased.

"I'd hoped that at least one version of my friend could attempt my name." Ororo smiled, this time it seemed genuine.

"I have a training session with the team scheduled in a few minutes. Would you like to come?" Storm started to stand up. "It would be interesting to see how another Raven handles herself."

"I have no desire to play Xman." Christy spoke, and then realized she needed to tone down her animosity at the idea. "I'm not really a team player, and I hardly feel at my best."

"Okay, well I'll see you at lunch then."

Once she was alone Christy looked out the window, at the cold, and knew she wasn't going to be sitting by the side of the lake in this world. It was a shame, that had been a relaxing setting.

"Hello Christy." The Professor spoke. "I have a doctor coming by later, to make sure you're okay."

"Great." She let her lack of enthusiasm show. "Shall I pretend I fell down the stairs? Any doctor with half a brain will know better."

He paused and then stared at her. "A fight with the Hellfire club isn't a good idea, and anyone here that heard what Raven went through would want to defend her honor."

"Anyone but you." Christy crossed her arms in front of her. "So is that a vote for telling him I did a dive off the stairs?"

He sighed. "No, you're right, any doctor would know better. You can tell the doctor anything you need to." His voice was gentler, as if trying to tell her she could get the support she needed, like it was a gift.

"And how much will Doc remember later?" Her voice held her aggression, and she just turned to leave the room before he could answer. She knew how telepaths dealt with keeping secrets.

"You know Tessa would be caught in the crossfire." He called after her. Christy hated him for using that to control Raven and her. It was pretty clear she was not allowed to tell, most likely ever.

"Leave him." She spoke as she climbed the stairs. "Just leave him. This is abuse, plan and simple and you don't need it."

……………..

Going through another thorough exam was no fun, and the Professor didn't have the foresight to get a female doctor for her either. She busied her mind as he looked at the healing job the first doctor did to her sex by trying to mentally comfort Raven. It distracted her from her own nervousness as well.

The doctor was so clinical and unsympathetic that Christy didn't bother talking about what had happened and let him just catalogue the damage and give her a cream for the scratches and bruises that still existed. He made her feel like an object he was repairing, not a person, and she hated every second around him. She was grateful to see him leave. He couldn't have been the regular doctor around here.

This all happened right before lunch, and she found she'd lost any appetite she might have had. She just walked past the kitchen and went back to Raven's room.

Christy closed the door behind them with a sigh. There really wasn't anything more she could think to say. "Shower?"

"Please." Raven answered her and her voice was shaky. "I want to get the feel of his hands off of me." And that's how Christy thought Raven might take that exam, like another violation.

……………

That night she was sitting on the floor in front of the wall of drawings, staring at them while she let her shield down. With no desire to visit anyone she'd stayed in the room for hours, working on building up her powers.

The knock interrupted her and Christy raised her shield and took a few deep breaths to try and calm down a little before answering. "Yeah?" It wasn't an invitation to come in.

"Dinner will be ready soon." The Russian accent gave him away. "Will you be joining us?"

"Sure." Christy stood up and had to stretch. She'd been sitting too long. "I'll be there soon." She was hungry now.

After she'd washed up she left the room in search of the dining room. She walked past the living room while keeping her eyes away from the tree and could hear the voices, which helped her find the others.

Kitty stared openly at her eyes and Christy gave the girl a soft smile, knowing that the glowing eyes weren't something Raven must have walked around with or it wouldn't gain Christy this type of attention. "It'll fade soon." She spoke softly, fully aware that more eyes were on them.

She took the chair across from a woman that hadn't been on the rescue team and pretended to not notice the stares. Her water glass became the focus of her attention.

The Professor said something about peace and his little dream, but Christy ignored him and watched the mashed potatoes instead. Once they were dishing up she barely bothered looking at anyone. If she thought she could get away with eating alone she would have just taken her plate and left.

When she reached out for a second helping of potatoes Christy barely touched the spoon before it fell out of the bowl and landed with a thump on the table. She watched as potato flew through the air and a small clump hit Storm in the face.

"I'm so sorry Mis…" She managed to stop herself from finishing the word Mistress. She didn't like that it seemed a reflex to call strong women that now.

"You're too formal." Storm smiled at her while using her napkin to clean up the potato on her face. "Ororo or Storm will do."

"Okay Storm." Christy's smile was fake, and her mind on other things, like wondering if she'd know if she'd been broken. Her fear of punishment had been too real.

…………

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous." Kitty's voice rose louder than needed to get past Raven's door. "It's a Christmas party. Why don't you come down and join us?" Because it's a Christmas party, Christy thought a little bitterly. She'd managed to stay out of the way for the last few days, spending most of her time pulling power, exercising, or just staring out the window. Raven wasn't feeling any more social than she was. They were perfectly happy alone in their room. "I'm Jewish and I'm going."

"How nice for you." Christy leaned back against the side of the bed. "But I have other things I want to do." Christy looked around the room hoping to find something for the next question.

"What? What's so important that you won't even let Raven come open presents?" Oh, so now she's preventing her double from doing things. Great. Christy just shook her head and picked up a nearby book. When Kitty's head slipped through her door Christy tossed it at the girl. The look of surprise was all she got for her effort, Kitty was still phased and untouchable.

"We don't want to go. I think she'd prefer to open her own presents when she actually has control of the body."

"What about yours?" Kitty stepped inside.

"It's rude to use your powers to come in when I clearly had the door locked." Christy gave Kitty a dirty look. "And I don't have any presents."

Kitty smiled at her like a child that knew a secret. "I saw your name on one of the gifts under the tree. There could be more."

Her name? No one knew she was even there until five days ago. Oh great, someone wanted her to feel like she belonged and now there wasn't a way out of having to go. I'm sorry Raven, Christy thought to her double.

"Not your fault." Raven whispered.

"What did you say?" Kitty asked.

"Raven says she doesn't blame me for this ruining our plans." She'd go, but there was no reason to stay any longer than necessary. Kitty seemed to deflate a little bit at Christy's less than thrilled sigh as Christy stood up. "Let's get this over with."

"Scrooge has nothing on you." Fine, they could blame her if they wanted. "Everyone's here." And that meant what? Christy didn't know any of them.

She was irritable as hell and did her best to rein that in as she came down the stairs. She could hear Christmas music and the murmur of a crowd and her body tensed, half expecting it to be the Hellfire club when she stepped into the room. The family like scene of people talking and laughing and hugging in the living room seemed almost wrong for this holiday.

How do you know if you're broken, Christy wondered again as she tried to blend into the wall and go unnoticed. Wanting to run from a simple party wasn't normal. After a deep breath Christy leaned against the wall, determined to be normal.

There was Scott. Christy watched him sitting with his arm around Jean. Her eye traveled over the crowd to find Bobby, and more of the original Xmen in the first photo she'd seen of Raven. The team that saved her was here as well, and then there was Rogue, another wallflower keeping away from the laughter and family air of the room.

Christy walked around the edges of the room and up to the other woman. Allies could be useful. From what little she'd heard Rogue hadn't been with the team all that long. A few suspicious looks Rogue's way confirmed it. "Hi." Christy gave Rogue a small smile. "Awkward isn't it?"

"What?" Rogue tilted her head just a little as she looked at Christy.

"Being at a party you know you don't belong at." Christy moved to lean against the wall and look at the others. "These people just wanted a Raven shaped person here, not me. I'm the woman that possessed their friend and got her all bruised up." Christy felt like she was being a little too manipulative as she glanced at Rogue out of the corner of her eye. Rogue seemed uncertain and out of place, painfully so. She seemed so easy. There were a few things Rogue could help Christy and Raven with. "You know how it is."

"Yeah, Ah do." Rogue spoke so softly.

"I heard about Carol. Can you still here her in your head? Raven has it the other way around apparently, she hears me." Christy remembered the stories about Rogue's touch powers absorbing Carol more permanently and it did seem a lot like the relationship Christy shared with Raven, the sharing of a body with one normally in charge.

"Ah can hear her." Rogue sighed, and then went quiet as they both watched the two Xmen teams talking and friendly with each other, but no one noticed either of them yet.

Christy turned to look into Rogue's face. "Do me a favor?" That got Rogue's attention. "Help me get out of this party as soon as possible? We were tortured to Christmas music and it's making me sick to hear it." Rogue's eyes widened just a moment, and then she just nodded. Christy found herself able to relax a little. Maybe the Professor would even let Rogue remember this.

Telling Rogue paid off quickly. Irene had sent her present via mail and aside from clothes and money, there was a few cd's. "Oh, Ah got to hear this one." Rogue's eyes caught Christy's as she gushed about her gift. "Can I put it in?"

"Well, it isn't exactly holiday music…" Someone hedged, but Rogue plowed on and got her way. Christy felt her tight shoulder muscles start to relax to the new music.

"Destiny sent that for you." Rogue whispered as she moved to stand behind the chair Christy was sitting on. "Normally she'd just send me a gift certificate to get my own."

"I always liked that woman." Christy gave Rogue a small smile, and spoke softly enough that Rogue had to lean in to hear her. Christy's voice softened. "Thank you."

"Did you really?" Rogue asked while they ignored the fact that Scott was opening a gift.

"Actually I never met her." Christy could have kicked herself for opening this can of worms. "But I heard nothing but good about Irene." The fact that Irene would be dying in a couple years was most likely something the precog would like to keep quiet. It was unlikely that Irene didn't know when she was going to die.

Rogue gave her a shy smile and leaned over to rest her arms on the back of Christy's chair while they waited for more gifts to come their way.

Christy carefully took the present being held out to her and studied the card. It was a simple card, with her name on it and nothing else. She had a very uneasy feeling about it, and the fact it didn't list who it was from.

She slid her nail under the box and loosened the tape, pulling the decorative lid off and stared into the box with a sick feeling of dread that proved almost precognitive. Staring up at her was a pile of photos. "That fucking bastard." Her growl had too many tears in it and she barely noticed the silence in the room as she quickly put the lid back on it and looked up to glare at the Professor.

"What is it?" Kitty asked with some concern, but Christy kept her eyes on the older man, glaring and dangerous. Christy got up and moved towards the Professor, slamming the box in his lap harshly. She leaned down and stared into his eyes.

"Look at those, every single fucking one of them." She pushed on the box. "Look at them and then tell me how we're supposed to pretend it didn't happen." She could feel Raven's unease, but Raven wasn't taking over. That was enough consent for Christy to leave that box of photos on the old man's lap.

"Raven, what are you talking about?" Scott demanded. Scott always demands in any reality doesn't he, Christy thought to herself, never just asks.

"Raven has left the building, and I'll be following her." Christy marched past the Xmen and grabbed a set of keys as she moved out the door. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out what car was Raven's.

"Christy." Rogue called after her and Christy didn't slow down, but she heard the footsteps running to catch up to her and then walking beside her. "What was in the box?"

"Pictures." Christy's jaw clenched. "Reminders that it won't ever be over for her, that Raven will always have that hanging over her head."

"They took pictures of your torture?" Rogue sounded horrified and it slowed Christy's steps down.

"Yeah." Christy took a deep breath and glanced up at the girl. "You know of any bars open today?" Christy reached out and grabbed Rogue's arm. "I need to get out of here. Come with me?" The cold in the air was starting to chill her uncomfortably.

"I don't know of any bars," Rogue spoke hesitantly as she was clearly trying to think, "but I was invited home for dinner, if I wanted."

"Perfect."

"Umm." Rogue looked down at the walkway. "You do know that Mystique is my mother, don't you? She's not really… one of the good guys."

"Good and evil are far more relative than you'd think." Christy sighed as she looked back at the mansion. "You'd be surprised how relative." Rogue left Mystique for Xavier, and Christy couldn't really say one was better than the other at this point in time.

"The garage is over there." Rogue pointed towards a building.

"Do you have a license?" Christy asked softly as they started walking that way. "I don't feel up to driving."

"I can do it." Rogue gently caressed Christy's arm before taking the keys out of her hand. "Don't you need a coat?"

"I don't want to give him a chance to tell me I can't go." She wouldn't listen, but there was a lot of Xmen in there to do his bidding and Christy knew she couldn't have taken them all on even in her own body.

"Okay."

When Rogue pulled out of the driveway Christy felt her body relax a little. No one was stopping them. Part of her had still felt like a prisoner here, but she was free, really free to leave.

Would any of them even remember she had been at the party?

……………..

"Rogue." An older woman's voice called out happily and Christy found herself staring at Irene hugging Rogue. "And you brought a friend. That's nice." The older woman smiled at her and even blind it was clear that Irene didn't need Christy to speak to know where she was.

"Why don't you come in dear, it is too chilly out here."

"Thank you Ma'am." Christy grimaced a little after she said that. Mystique she can just talk to like she's a regular woman, she'd always done that, but Destiny intimidated her. Christy followed Rogue and Irene into the townhouse. Her eyes looked around the living room for a familiar face, but she didn't see anyone else.

"I sent Mystique to the store."

"Afraid she'd see an Xman and start fighting first?" Christy smiled just a little as she closed the door behind her.

"Yes, and you aren't really an Xman are you dear?" Irene stared at her. Christy couldn't see her eyes through the dark glasses, but she felt like she was being stared through.

"No, not really." Christy spoke quietly, her unease obvious.

"Well, how about you kids help me set the table?"

"Come on Christy." Rogue grabbed her hand. "Kitchen's this way." The way Rogue acted and how Irene treated her made Christy feel like a school age child visiting a friend's house. It wasn't really a bad feeling, just awkward.

The table was set for four and Christy was sitting at the kitchen island with the other two women when she heard the door open. She looked up from where she was mashing potatoes to see Mystique walk into the room. The spike of pain at the familiarness was something she had gotten over when it dealt with Emma, but Mystique made her feel torn again. Her friend and not her friend, she hated how this worked. She took in the glare the blue skinned woman gave her, but disregarded it in favor of looking at what Mystique was wearing. The white complemented her skin, but the belt of tiny skulls was overdone and the loincloth-like appearance of her skirt a bit odd.

"You should try black leather pants. They'd look good on you." Christy smirked, unable to let this one go.

"Irene would you like to tell me why there's an Xman in our kitchen?"

"There's two." Rogue spoke a little coldly.

"No," Christy glanced at Rogue, "Just you, not me. Don't lump me into that."

"Mystique, this is Christy and she's our guest for dinner." The look on Mystique's face made Christy think maybe this hadn't been her best idea yet.

The best thing to do would be to take care of this tension first. "What's the going rate for a hit on a powerful and rich mutant?" It was still up in the air which one she was talking about, even to herself.

"Christy!" Rogue scolded her.

"What?" She asked Rogue with some irritation in her voice. "Are you going to spew something about Xmen not killing, because let me tell you something, sometimes the best way to deal with someone is a bullet in the brain." She sat back and forced her irritation out of her voice. "Besides I'm just asking. I'll probably do it myself. I just like to know how much money I'm saving."

Mystique started to chuckle and Christy smirked. Same old Mystique. "Irene doesn't let us talk about hits at the dinner table and it smells like dinner's almost ready."

"Want some wine?" Christy was sitting closest to the wine bottle.

"Sure." Mystique moved to the fridge and started to unload the bag she'd brought in. "So what's your deal Xman?"

"I'm not really Raven." Christy poured a glass of wine and ignored the strange look Rogue was giving her , probably because Christy felt more at ease now that Mystique was here. That was a very not Raven thing to do. "I've accidentally possessed her." She outlined her trips across realities and hinted that she'd run into trouble in this one, but she kept things vague as they sat down to Christmas dinner without any music in the background and no visible decoration. She found she was hungry, unlike her appetite at the well decorated mansion.


	18. Hellfire 1 Part 7

500 Miles

Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

"Rogue, honey, would you help me with the dishes?" Irene asked the young Xman and Christy thought she caught a purposeful smile directed her way, like Irene was helping to get Rogue out of the room for her. Christy just nodded her thanks and waited until Rogue was out of the room before turning to Mystique.

"I wasn't really joking earlier."

"Who?" Mystique sat forward a little and Christy felt like the spy was using all her powers of observation to try and understand Christy.

Christy sighed. Who? At this moment there were a lot of people on her list, but who was she talking about? Christy bit at her bottom lip as she thought about how powerful Selene was. "Sebastian Shaw." He raped Tessa, and that was enough reason for her. Raven might be safely out of that hell, but Tessa was still there. He was also the one behind the present Christy got and it was pretty clear he'd keep harassing Raven. Selene was someone she wished she could help Raven with, but really doubted they could do safely.

"Oh, you do make powerful enemies. You have a list of them don't you?"

"Yeah." Christy spoke quietly. "This hasn't been the best world I've visited and I want to leave it better off than I found it. Killing him is a good start."

Mystique's expression gave little away. It had to be weird having an Xman in her living room asking about this. "In your world what were you?"

Christy smiled a little. "I was your apprentice, but I was more of an anti-assassination specialist." Her Mystique had helped her learn enough about how assassins worked to plan against it. She wasn't sure it was enough to actually do it. "I was a baby shape shifter and you really took to kicking my ass to teach me, well in my world, my Mystique did." Her smile faded, for a moment it had felt like she had someone familiar but she had to remember this woman wasn't the same, in the same way she remembered each Emma was different.

"An apprentice?" Mystique smiled just a little. "I don't imagine your Mystique took many of those."

"No, I was her first." Christy noticed the smirk and tossed caution to the wind. "For a teaching virgin she didn't do too badly." Christy stared at Mystique with a teasing smile. "Are you a virgin? Teaching I mean." Christy batted her eyelashes obviously and enjoyed the deep chuckle that got. "I need more… teaching… and could really use your help."

"You need surveillance before planning a hit. You need to know his movements and when he's most vulnerable." Mystique became business like again. "I know enough about Raven to know she doesn't have access to the type of money a hit would cost." The smile was not really friendly, "Know your enemies and all that."

"He'll see me coming a mile away." Christy sighed and sat back in the chair a little dejected. "He's taunting me, he wants me to go after him."

"So why don't you walk away?" That coming out of Mystique's mouth was a surprise. "You know it's a trap, you don't have the resources to do the job, and obviously you aren't going to bring the Xmen into it, or you wouldn't be asking me."

Christy just stared at the candle on the coffee table for a moment. "I don't know what to do." Her voice was soft and slightly hurting, she could hear it herself and knew Mystique could. "I just don't know what to do. I really care about Raven, and he's starting to look like a stalker on top of a rapist."

"Rape?"

"Yeah." Christy leaned forward to rest her elbows on her legs and stared into Mystique's eyes. Maybe she needed someone to talk to as well, and talking to people that wouldn't remember anything the next day was more painful than anything else. "And I don't want them to catch her again. I have to protect her." There were two women she had to protect. "And I'm leaving this world, leaving her alone to face this isn't an option. I can't," Christy shook her head, "I just can't."

"What about the Xmen?"

"I've already tried. Xavier isn't going to back me up." Christy's jaw tensed along with her fists. "He's going to let them get away with it." She didn't need to ask, his insistence that they keep it a secret to avoid a fight was more than enough answer.

Christy could hear Rogue's voice getting closer. "Let me look into a few things." Mystique spoke quietly. "How can I reach you?"

"Raven?" Christy thought to her double. "How can she?"

"My email is…" Christy heard her voice answering and felt like she was doing the right thing. Raven was backing her up. Part of her felt bad that she was forcing the Xman to pick this path, but for Tessa Raven did.

An hour later Rogue and Christy went into the cold again and got into Raven's car. "Thank you for inviting me." Christy smiled at the girl. "I had fun."

"Ah noticed." Rogue started the car. "It was nice to see my family again, but you do realize that the others won't be too happy with us."

"They are your family, and no matter what they believe, they love you." Christy reached out and rested a hand on Rogue's arm. It was safely covered in clothes, so Rogue's power was no danger. "Anyone that tells you that you can't spend the holidays with those women aren't worth listening to. Irene won't always be around to spend time with." Christy bit back the rest of her comment. Irene didn't have a choice in her death, not really, but not telling had been her choice and Christy was going to leave it alone.

They stepped into the mansion much later and Christy squeezed Rogue's hand in thanks before they parted ways, Christy going back upstairs. It was late and she was too tired to wander into the party still going on in the living room to see if Xavier had erased the memory of her dramatic exit.

…………………

"Why is she willing to help us?" Raven asked her as they laid in bed staring at the drawings on the wall. Tessa's image was directly in front of her line of sight, and Christy doubted that was a coincidence.

"Probably a few reasons." Christy pulled the blankets up higher over her shoulders. "Xavier took her daughter, so the idea that an Xman could owe her has to appeal to her; she doesn't like it when women are abused like that; Irene let us stay for dinner, so her lover has some interest in us, Mystique always takes that seriously; and maybe she just wants to see if we'll actually try to kill someone." It wouldn't be out of character for Mystique to give an Xman enough rope to hang herself that way.

If Raven tried to continue to be an Xman after this, there was a good chance Mystique could blackmail her. Raven should know that. She was trading problems if they killed Sebastian, because this Mystique wasn't Raven's friend. In Christy's world Mystique would have killed for her and not even thought about charging for this one, not that they'd run into a situation like this, but her Mystique loved her, was her best friend. Having an assassin as a best friend came with some perks Christy was pretty sure.

Christy didn't envy Raven her choices right now. If they did this before Christy left, Raven could blame it all on her, but even if that worked there would be suspicion for a while. Nothing needed to be decided right now. Raven could take some time.

Christy pulled the pillow partly into her arms, hugging it like it was her lover, and closed her eyes. "Goodnight Raven." She thought tiredly, and put as much affection into it as possible.

"Goodnight." Raven sounded distracted by her thoughts. She should be.

…………………

The day after Christmas, it was amazing how good it felt to be the day after. It was over. Christy checked her reflection again, and played with Raven's short hair to get that spiky wild do that looked pretty good on her Xman self. The music and the decorations would stop and with that the constant reminders. Most likely neither one of them would look at the holidays the same way again.

The tree was still up in the living room and Christy just sighed, wondering when it would come down. Irene may not have said it, but that woman had made sure to take them down in her home to make Christy comfortable. Christy's Mystique once told her how Irene got into decorating and yet their home hadn't been. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together and like Irene even more.

She didn't really want to talk to the Professor, but maybe she'd tell him that Raven didn't like having the tree around, or any of the other decorations.

Christy sat at the table eating her breakfast bar rather than attempting to cook. She'd missed the group breakfast on purpose. She felt like the place was abandoned. She couldn't hear anyone and for such a large place with such a large group living there it seemed wrong.

The whir of sound had her looking up just in time to see the Professor's wheelchair starting to come into view of the doorway. He stopped his progress and turned to look at her. "I was hoping you could come to my office when you're done eating." He sounded a little off, tired.

"Where is everyone?"

"Scott's team left and Ororo's team is on a mission." He turned his head back down the hall he'd been wandering. "Just come right in when you're ready. We have a lot to talk about."

Did he actually look at the pictures? Christy took another bite of the breakfast bar distractedly. Sure she could just go now, but she wanted a moment to figure this out. They were the only two here. Oh she'd sell her kingdom for permission, she thought sarcastically as she imagined ending his life again and how it would mean Tessa was recalled, and that Raven wouldn't be forced to stay silent any longer. Just one bullet could do all that, and there wasn't anyone here to stop her, except Raven. Christy sighed heavily and poured out the rest of her juice in the sink. It wasn't an option, but if Raven ever changed her mind Christy would gladly do it for her.

She felt like she'd lost the winning lottery ticket as she made her way to his office, knowing that she'd have to leave it alone, but just because she was letting the bastard live didn't mean he'd get away with not doing right by Raven. Christy would do whatever she could to make sure Raven was taken care of.

Christy took a deep breath and stood taller before she moved to enter his office.

…………………

Christy was learning more about herself in this world than any of the others. She hated feeling helpless, it was something she hadn't even let herself feel in her home world. Her normal cold commanding voice didn't work, she couldn't order people to do something and get them to do it. She found that made her talk louder and angrier than normal.

Christy took a deep breath, but her eyes stayed cold and threatening. "Raven is alone. She has no friends, because you won't let her have them."

"What are you talking about?" The Professor had the nerve to ask.

"The fact that she has no one she can talk to, because you'd wipe their memories. Was Kitty the first time you've done that to her? Who is Raven supposed to lean on? It won't be you."

"Why won't it be me? In the past she came to me with…"

Christy heard the rush of the ocean and tried to blink, but she couldn't.

"It won't be you, because you betrayed me." Raven growled. "You betrayed Tessa and I'll never forgive that. Never."

"But Raven understands…"

"You are talking to Raven Professor." Raven's voice cracked with her pain. "And I can't understand, I just can't. I can't excuse this. Did I ever tell you why I became an Xman? It wasn't your fucking dream. I did it to protect the people I care about, Jean, Bobby… Storm… And Tessa, always Tessa. I don't believe in your dream, it's just a dream, I am here because I wanted to protect those I cared about and you…" Christy had a hard time seeing through Raven's tears. "It turned out the person I needed to be protecting them from was you. I trusted you, you fucking bastard. I trusted you and you did this to my Tessa, to me. I let you get away with making me a ghost in my own home, making me have to not trust anyone here with the truth, and look what happened. I was idiot. I never should have trusted such a stupid, blind, and selfish old man. Tessa and I will be paying for that for the rest of our lives." Christy did her best to remain calm as she heard her double's pain, not wanting to do anything that would make it harder for Raven to keep control. "You know how Tessa feels about rape, and she's trapped in that hell. She had to walk me to the door so that Selene could…" Raven took a deep breath and her fingernails cut into her palms. "I hate you." It wasn't yelled, it was spoken coldly. "I don't know why I didn't just give Christy permission to kill you, because I was tempted. I hate you that much." Raven stood up and turned to leave. "There is nothing… nothing you can say to make this okay Professor. I'm not an Xman anymore. I quit. I'll be moving out once I have my body back."

"Raven, it isn't really safe for you to leave right now. I can't let you do that."

"It isn't safe for me to stay. You're more of a threat than any of them." The Professor went quiet as Raven stepped out of the room. Christy sent pure emotion at her double, her affection, her concern, her support, hoping Raven felt it all. Christy stayed as calm as possible and let Raven take over as long as Raven could. She'd never have thought she'd surrender all control so easily to anyone.

What would the Professor do to keep Raven from leaving? Raven was an adult, but Xavier was a control freak. Raven also knew his secrets. Christy found she wasn't feeling very reassured by that meeting.

"I want to show you something." Raven spoke softly as they approached a closet door. Raven opened the door and stepped inside while turning the light on. "When Tessa and I first came here he didn't want the other Xmen to know about us. He wanted both of us to be spies." Raven pushed and Christy was surprised to see the back wall of the closet give. "He eventually decided I was too emotional, or my powers weren't good enough, I was never sure. Maybe it was because Tessa and I were starting to get serious and he didn't want us to have love or a reason to want to not do what he said. I hadn't really let myself think of it that way, I wanted to trust him, but he…" Raven's words trailed off and Christy wanted to hug her. "He moved me to the main team, but he kept Tessa. He couldn't erase my memory of her and I'd still sneak around to visit with her. She was so lonely, with no one but him to talk to and he was busy with his other students so often."

They stepped over the items on the floor and into the hidden small room. Christy noticed the hole in the floor. "It was like she was a prisoner here. The others could come and go as they pleased, but she had to sneak in and out to spend time with me anywhere else. We still did it." They made their way down narrow stairs. "Ghosts, both of us were ghosts in this house." Raven's voice was shaky. Christy noticed the stale air and when Raven hit the light switch they were in a hall. "There aren't a lot of ways into this part of the mansion, he was hiding us from the others in this little cage." Bitterness laced her words.

"This was my room." Raven opened a door and Christy looked into a room with a twin bed and no windows. The dresser was slightly dusty. "The others might have shared rooms, but my being a lesbian kinda of made him rethink that idea here. Besides spies need to be self reliant and Xmen had to be able to work as a team. Alone and lonely versus loved and supported."

Christy felt her anger at that man spike as she heard the hurt in Raven's voice. They took a step into the room and Christy could see drawings taped to the wall. These Tessa's were young and all the details were there. "With little else to fill our time I picked up drawing and art. Tessa was a great model, she could hold positions longer and better than anyone." Raven's hand caressed Tessa's image. "I'm getting tired. I'll just talk you through this."

"Okay." Christy thought as she found herself able to move her arms again.

"I've never had anyone I could talk to, you're right. When Tessa left he was the only one that knew about this, and I resented him for her leaving. I didn't know he'd send her to a place like that. I never would have followed a man like that." Raven was speaking and rather than interrupt her Christy just let her vent. It was a long time coming. Raven's voice got softer. "I want these pictures. Take them down for me?"

"Of course." Christy moved to gently, reverently, take down the pictures, being very careful to not let the tired tape rip them.

"Tessa was seventeen." Raven sighed. "Seventeen. Too young he said, and the Professor told me that I would be taking advantage of her. I was twenty-one. He didn't want me… corrupting her." Christy hated the laugh Raven gave, it sound broken and a little insane. "Corrupting, that's the word he used. He didn't want the young girl corrupted. God…" Christy had to stop taking the pictures down as tears filled her eyes. "What is she now? She gave her virginity to some bastard in that place, because I wasn't allowed to take it. The Professor said he didn't want me corrupting her." The howl of pain was wild and echoed off the walls. Christy waited tensely to see if Scythe would answer Raven's call, but it didn't. "I loved her… I loved her. How the hell would that corrupt her? She loved me too."

Christy sat on the bed and waited for more pain to burst out of Raven. This was like a festering wound Raven had never been allowed to lance, because really, who did she have to trust.

"Just you." Raven spoke. "I only have you. I thank god for you, you're the best thing to happen to me since he sent my Tessa away." Christy felt her own tears at that moment. She was so sure Raven would resent her at least some. Christy ran her hands over her upper arms in a caress.

The silence lasted a little longer than a pause so Christy gave Raven her break and finished taking the drawings down. "Tessa's room is across the hall." Raven spoke after Christy finished stacking the art. "I go there sometimes just to get away. She had to leave everything she owned behind."

They stepped into the other room and Christy saw a few other drawings on Tessa's walls, ones that Raven obviously did for her. Drawings of various people, some of which were Raven herself. "I come in here and steal her clothes sometimes so I can feel closer. I feel pathetic every time I do it. The clothes you put on that first day, they were hers. I just can't seem to… move on. He told me that I should, that bastard, but I can't. I flirt and I pretend to date, but not really. Every time I go out on some date someone arranges for me, or a date to stop them from wanting to arrange something for me, I feel like I'm cheating on her. She's been gone five years and I never knew when she'd come home. Every month I'd wonder if this was the one. Months turned to years, and I just finally couldn't take it. I had to know if I'd be waiting forever, if I should really try to move on. I started to look for her. I needed to hear it from her and he'd never tell me where she was. A spy has to be self reliant right? Well, I did have some of the training, and I found her."

Raven's voice paused. "I want the teddy bear." The words were so out of context it took Christy a moment to catch the meaning. She noticed the bear on the bed and moved to pick it up and hug it. "I won that for her at a fair we managed to sneak out to. That was pretty rare for me to beat her at anything and I did that day so I made up for it by giving her my prize, normally she was better than me at most things. I didn't mind, she never made me feel bad about it. She had to grow up in a war torn country, she wasn't like normal teenagers. That's probably why I fell for her, she was older than her age. I never felt like I was spending time with a teenager. I did feel guilty at first, but Tessa, she's so special."

"I want some shirts." It was clear Raven was preparing for her move. Christy moved to open the closet. "Tessa normally dressed for comfort. I was surprised to see her in the café I found her in looking so elegant. I just stared at her while she talked with Emma and they didn't notice me. My Tessa had grown up to be beyond beautiful. She was like the women you see on TV and daydream about, knowing in real life you'd never be able to get even a date, but I had. She was my Tessa." Christy started to go through the closet. "I doubt Tessa will want these clothes back, if she ever comes home. Let's take that one." Christy pulled out the shirt in question and set it on the bed. They went through the entire closet and came out with ten shirts, mostly sweatshirts. "I'll have to make them last." Raven's voice cracked in pain again.

Christy could not even imagine going through this with her Emma. If they were in the same world she couldn't have survived what Raven had been through. She wasn't about to tell Raven to move on, or that it was pathetic to take Tessa's clothes. Hell, Christy would have loved to have something of Emma's with her now.

"Well, lets go. I've got to sneak upstairs before someone gets home. I'm a ghost after all." Raven sighed. Christy took a moment to look at the pile she'd have to take up with her before deciding to steal one last thing. She put the clothes in the center of the bedspread and wrapped the bedspread around them making it a makeshift bag. With the teddy bear and clothes held with one hand she was able to gently carry the drawings in the other. One more thing. Christy gently took one of the pictures of Raven off the wall and put it with the others. Someday Raven might want that. Christy wished she could take it with her. It would be nice to have something of her double's as well.

"I love you too." Raven whispered as they made their way out the door. Christy smiled just a little in spite of the painfulness of this trip.

They made it back to Raven's room easily. No one had come home yet. Christy carefully folded the clothes and put them in the closet. Enough had happened today, so she didn't bring up the fact that moving out of this mansion wasn't likely to be as easy as moving out of an apartment.

……………….

Christy was seeing how right Raven was about being a ghost in this house. It was very easy to not get noticed, to just blend in and avoid people, and she was taking advantage of it. She'd spent a lot of time building up her power, but stopped before it got to critical mass, because she wasn't leaving until things were better here and glowing eyes were too easy a give away that she was a mutant when she'd need to blend in for the hit. It would probably take her two or three weeks of actively trying to get enough power to go, but she was just dabbling at it now. The Xmen came and went on missions and no one thought anything of leaving her here alone. Did they do that to Raven as well? She'd heard that Raven was the rarely sighted Xman from Jacqueline in the Hellfire club.

"Where are you going?" The Professor asked as Christy picked up her keys. She hadn't talked with him much lately.

"I need to get out of here. Thought we'd go to a movie." She barely glanced at him as she opened the front door. These were old movies to her, she could remember enough if he thought to interrogate her about if she liked it later, she just needed to check on the times. "And dinner. It'll be like a date, only with myself." Her sarcasm was thick.

"Don't stay out too late."

Christy turned to look at him. "I believe Raven's twenty six now, and I'm older. I'll come home when I'm done." If she didn't respect someone she couldn't even fake it. She closed the door shutting off his annoying voice. Poor telepath couldn't follow her fast enough and couldn't invade her mind. She liked that.

Weeknights at the theater weren't too busy. Christy parked the car and leaned against it waiting. A slight smile came to her lips as a very hot looking brunette pulled up in a sedan and licked her lips seductively while staring at her. Christy sauntered over and noticed the other woman in the car as well. "So," Christy smiled and leaned into the opened window. She had to stop herself. This was where she'd pretend to be a hooker, but with the recent events she wasn't sure Raven wanted to play like that. "Dinner first? I'm a little hungry."

"Afraid you'll lose your appetite if we get to business first?" Mystique taunted a little.

Christy's voice softened. "This will hardly be the first person I've killed Mystique." She glanced at Irene. "Nice to see you again Irene."

"You too dear. Get in the car."

"Yes Ma'am." Christy smiled and then opened the back door of the car, sliding in. It had taken Mystique two weeks, but the woman had emailed for this meeting.

"I have some information for you. I'd planned to just hand it over and go." Mystique muttered, clearly irritated at Christy's horning in on her evening plans. Christy started to feel a little bad about it. Normally with her Mystique it was assumed they'd spend time together if they met. She'd just assumed.

She was a little lonely for someone to talk to outside of her body.

"Oh Mystique." Irene's voice held some reprimand. "Don't mind her dear." Irene turned to look back towards Christy, even though she couldn't see her. "How have you been?"

"Good days and bad days." Christy answered honestly. "If I had a gun Xavier would be dead now."

Mystique smirked. "I can get you one."

Christy smiled just a little. "Thanks, but Raven's still insisting on leaving him alive." Christy sighed. "So, any ideas for dinner? I'll pay, I found Raven's credit card." Raven's credit was still in her real name, Christy Taylor, so the signature wouldn't be an issue either. Raven did say she could use it. "I think Xavier pays the bill, so something big?" She grinned.

"I see, if you can't shoot him, maybe you can make him poor." Mystique turned left. "It isn't really expensive enough, but there is a nice Italian restaurant we could check out."

The restaurant was nice, not pricey, but nice. Christy followed Irene and Mystique in, and Mystique was still wearing the hot young model look, which caused more than a few eyes to turn in their direction. "I thought spies should blend in." Christy muttered at Mystique's lover.

"Oh Mystique prefers to have all eyes on her." Irene smiled.

"She's still prettier in blue." Christy said distractedly as Mystique went to request a table.

"Yes she is." Irene's fondness filled her voice. "She always was."

"You should go to the doctor more often." Christy said quietly. "There are things…"

"I know." Irene's voice was sad. "I know. Let's not ruin the evening talking about that."

"She loves you."

"And I love her." Irene patted Christy's arm. "I know you mean well, but drop this topic."

"I'm sorry." Christy watched Mystique flirting with the man taking their name for a table. "But my Mystique was so hurt, I just… she's my best friend, you know. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't care about her doubles?"

Irene's hand moved to her shoulder. "Our table is almost ready. I'll play at being blind, lead me." Irene smirked.

"Yes Ma'am." Christy shifted a little. "You can drive can't you?"

"I have a time or two." Irene smiled.

"I'm glad I got to meet you." Christy shook her head and ignored Mystique's surprise when Irene let Christy lead her to the table.

…………………….

Christy stood on the cold rooftop waiting. Her eyes were focused and her hands were busy assembling the rifle with her gloves on. She had to remember and constantly think about the fact that she couldn't leave evidence. No hair, no fingerprints, the shoes on her feet were new and disposable. Her clothes were black, but underneath she wore a more normal outfit. Mystique would only get her information, and access to a gun, she didn't come with her.

Two weeks. She'd given Raven two weeks to tell Christy she didn't want to do this after Mystique showed her when the hit would be easiest to complete, and Raven was still with her on this. New York was fucking cold at the end of January. It made the freezer they'd been locked up in seem warm.

Her escape route was firmly in her mind and she waited for that bastard to step out of the building.

"It's easy to want to make them suffer, but the fast kill is the one that works best." Christy muttered her lessons. "Vengeance killing means you lose your head and there are more chances it won't work." It was partly to remind herself. "We want him dead, suffering would be nice, but let's just trust hell to do that for us."

The door opened and Christy felt the past haunting her as she held the rifle sight to her eyes like she'd done countless times in another world. Tessa's presences shocked her, and Christy found herself staring a moment too long. She moved to very carefully take aim and fire.

Her hand shook. Oh god he was ducking down for something. The man behind him fell, and Christy felt the death, the wrong death. Christy quickly moved to aim again, putting his head in her sights, but a dark haired woman's intense eyes fell in between and then she saw Tessa pulling a gun out to cover him. Tessa was protecting that bastard. Her cover demanded it. She'd put her life in the way. Christy just shook her head. The points in her direction from the others on the street had her having to turn and run. Failed, because Tessa… Her jaw clenched and she raced down the stairs while pulling the black clothes off her body and she got off on the second floor of the short building, looking like an office worker. She carried the file box full of her clothes as if they were really files and moved to the elevator.

Her heart was racing as she tried to calmly exit the building and head for her car. Men ran past her towards the stairwell and Christy turned to glance at the scene once before walking away. Tessa's eyes caught hers and held them. Christy sighed and turned to walk away.

She would have had him if it weren't for Tessa. It was so wrong. If Christy had been in her own body she would have tried again, but she couldn't risk getting Raven arrested.

She slammed the box in the trunk and got in the car to drive. She wanted to scream, but that would draw too much attention. God, now he'd be prepared for another attempt. She failed.

"It was my fault." Raven whispered. "I didn't expect to see her, I should have. I… I'm sorry, I think I was the one that made the first shot move. I was afraid we'd shoot her."

"It's okay Raven." Christy thought as she pulled into traffic. It wasn't, but no need to hurt Raven with that.

So much planning down the drain.

The box of evidence was burned before she pulled into the mansion driveway. She climbed the stairs and gave a few distracted greetings to various passing Xmen as she made her way to Raven's room. Her feet felt too heavy to her.

……………….

"We could try again." Raven suggested as they laid in the darkness staring at the ceiling and the shadows playing on it.

"No, we can't." Christy couldn't risk Raven in a second attempt. She knew security and she knew it would be tight for a couple months around Sebastian now. It would take a while for them to get lazy again. A second attempt with Tessa heading security against her was bound to fail.

Tessa was that bastard's body guard. Somehow she hadn't really realized that. She'd underestimated Tessa the same way people underestimated her. Many people initially assumed Christy was her Emma's secretary.

"I really screwed up." Raven sounded hurt and Christy caressed her stomach.

"I was shocked too. I should have realized it, not you. Maybe now he'll feel he owes her." Christy sighed heavily. "She did save his life." It might buy Tessa some freedom from abuse for a little while at least.

Could she talk Tessa into getting sloppy on purpose?

…………………

"There was an attempt on Sebastian Shaw's life yesterday." The Professor's voice filled the kitchen as Christy was working on getting a snack. Her normal routine was to skip breakfast and get something a little later.

"Did they get him?" Christy asked after barely looking up from her half made peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Because nothings worse than a half ass assassination."

"No, he's fine. A man on his detail was killed." Christy could feel the Professor's eyes on her, most likely the man was wondering what kind of woman he'd let into his home.

"Got the wrong one." She put her two halves of the sandwich together and turned to look at him while taking a bite. Once she swallowed she gave him a small smile. "That's sloppy, not a professional job." He was still staring at her. "I know these things, I used to be in security. I had to prevent a few assassination attempts."

"You were in law enforcement?" He sounded doubtful.

"In a matter of speaking."

"A man died."

"Yes, a man willingly hanging around that monster." Christy took another bite casually. Her juice washed it down. "Probably a rapist. No loss."

"It isn't our job to kill."

She spoke calmly and with a slight smile she knew bothered him to no end. "Really, if the law isn't going to be used to get justice, maybe the shooter had the right idea. Maybe she was last years Christmas toy." Now she was just flaunting it. "She needs more target practice regardless, missing was just careless."

"How do you know it's a woman?" His eyes told her he knew.

"Because I saw what Sebastian does with women. It was a safe bet." She picked up her glass and started for the doorway. "Personally shooting is too good for some people. They should have to suffer." Her eyes trailed over him coldly. "But sadly I'm not the law in this world."

"Raven has to live with anything you do here Christy." He spoke firmly.

"There are a lot of things Raven has to live with Charles." Christy stared into his eyes. "But don't worry, unlike people she's trusted in the past, I don't abuse her trust. She's not just a pawn to me, I love her." She continued on her way back to their room.

"He's gonna think we're having sex." Raven teased after they made it up the stairs. Christy found herself trying to envision how that could happen. Her mind was deep in problem solving mode as she ate, just curious and it gave her something other than her less than secret attempt to kill Sebastian to think about. The embarrassed chuckles Raven gave once in a while were a nice reward for her thoughts.

It was a little later that Raven said what Christy was hoping she wouldn't. "We killed a man." It broke the silence as Christy read a magazine. Christy lowered it while considering what she could say.

"Yes, we did." She answered gently. She wasn't really sure how to deal with this one. If they'd killed Sebastian it would be easier to deal with the fallout, but she didn't know anything about the one that really died.

"How do you deal with it?"

"Honestly," Christy felt like Raven might think she was a monster, "it only bothers me a little bit anymore. I've done it so many times." She tried to gather her thoughts. "I like to believe they deserve it. If I can at all make myself believe they were monsters, rapists, murderers I do that. I lie to myself when I can, but I've also killed obviously good men before too. In those cases I told myself it was mercy, because the death I gave them was more gentle than the one they were going to get." Her memory of Mark's last breath filled her mind.

"Did you ever kill women?" Raven asked all the hard questions today.

"A few, not nearly as many." Christy felt a little sick. "Women and children, those are really hard. Not many women are as evil as Selene. The first woman I killed, I didn't realize… she was just with the group I was supposed to shoot, I didn't know it was a woman until later. She was bruised up like you were, and…" Christy had convinced herself she'd given mercy, but now with Raven here she didn't want to say that. That woman might have joined the tribe if given a chance, but she was dressed like a man and Christy just assumed she was with the others, not their slave. "When you pick up a gun, things can happen you didn't expect." Christy went quiet, wondering what she could possibly say to make this easier. "That man was probably a bad man." She sighed. "I'd bet he went to all the parties."

"He probably beat his wife." Raven joined in. "And his kids were scared of him."

"He killed baby birds if he found them in his yard." Christy added slowly.

"And he was probably just waiting for his turn to hurt Tessa." Raven whispered. "He can't now."

"No, he can't." Neither one of them really believed what they were saying. Killing had gotten so routine at times, but being here for someone else's first kill brought back old pain.

If Christy could have gone without Raven, done it herself, she would have.

……………………..

"Where are you going?" The Professor asked as Christy picked up the keys on her way out again. After a quiet day of Raven's remorse Christy thought the woman might actually like to go to a movie, for real this time. That and a nice dinner. Maybe she really was dating herself.

"Movies."

"I think perhaps you should take someone with you." He stared at her. "For safety." Not hers most likely.

"I could go Professor." Storm smiled at her, and it was friendly. She probably didn't know why he was really not wanting Christy out alone. "I'm sure this mansion gets quite dull after a while. What movie?"

"I was going to just go and see what was playing, maybe a comedy." Well, Storm wouldn't be too bad. She wasn't like Kitty, with too many questions Christy wasn't allowed to answer.

It would have been nice to be able to answer those questions. The look in Charles' eyes was a warning not to. Christy just shoved her hands into her pockets as she stepped out into the cold outside. Had Raven ever actually been free?

…………………..

A woman with white hair caught her eye as Christy stood in line to get the tickets with Storm, and it wasn't Storm. It was just a brief glimpse of a slight smile as Destiny leaned on her cane, and then a group of teenagers walked between them. Once it cleared Destiny was gone.

"So," Christy spoke a little distractedly, until she forced herself to pay more attention to her companion. "You gay now?" She smirked as Storm glanced at her. The woman then just shook her head a little and smirked.

"Well that's bolder than Raven was when she was fishing for my sexuality."

"Is that a kinky sex game?" Christy asked with a fake innocent look on her face. "Fishing for sexuality?"

Storm just shook her head and sighed. She didn't play along. Christy fidgeted a little in line and found her eyes traveling back to where she'd seen Destiny. The woman wasn't there anymore, but something was up.

Christy felt someone run into her as they made their way between her and the people in the line beside her. "Oh, excuse me." A man apologized and Christy looked at him to smile forgiveness, only to see his smile and a flash of yellow eyes. He mouthed the word pocket and moved on.

Christy knew better than to reach into her coat pocket at that moment, but Mystique in her world had pulled this same trick. Instead of pick pocketing, Mystique had deposited something.

"So are you big on popcorn?" Christy asked Storm with a smile. "Do I have to get my own?"

"I think I can share." Storm's gentle laugh seemed at odds with her tough appearance. Christy noticed more than a few eyes on the tall woman in leather and a mohawk. Storm really stood out.

"Okay." Christy stepped up to the now opened window and bought the tickets. Once they were inside she moved into the snack line with Storm. The man that Mystique now was glanced at her from another line and then glanced at her pocket meaningfully. Apparently this was time sensitive.

Casually Christy pulled the note out and glanced at it while Storm ordered for them. How short. Go to the bathroom was all that was written on it. "Hey," Christy gently touched Storm's arm and smiled at her. "I need to go to the bathroom before the movie. Can you handle this?" Christy glanced at the large bucket of popcorn and the Coke Storm had added to the order.

"Go." Storm was already picking up the snacks. "I'll get us a seat." Well, it wasn't like Storm would be hard to find in a crowded theater. Christy just nodded and started off in the right direction.

The bathroom was crowded. Christy sighed as she waited in line for an open stall, almost feeling like it was a horse race, with the opening gates and rushing out women. "Come here often?" A teasing voice asked and Christy turned to see an attractive teenage girl standing behind her.

"Picking women up in the bathroom? That's a new low." Christy watched the smile and knew who it was, but the nervous and disapproving looks of the women in line behind Mystique irritated her and she had to keep herself from playing it up to piss off the prudes.

"So, you missed."

Christy sighed and waved the woman behind both of them towards the stall that opened up, since she wasn't going to take it. "Yeah."

Another stall opened and again Christy waved someone in. When another stall opened Mystique grabbed Christy's hand and pulled her towards it, they were the only ones in not in a stall. "Irene is waiting in the car to talk to you." Mystique whispered and pushed Christy into the stall. "Stay in here until for a few minutes before going out. I'll go to the bathroom again in forty minutes and we can switch back." Suddenly Mystique looked like Raven, right before she closed the stall door, putting Christy on the inside.

With a sigh Christy took the time to actually use the bathroom, since she had to stay there anyhow.

Irene was sitting in the passenger seat of the same car that Christy had seen last time she'd gotten together with these two. Christy made her way to the side of the car and opened the driver's side door and got in, grateful for the protection from the cold wind. "So, spy games Irene? I didn't know you did that."

"If we wanted to talk to you, we had to be creative." Irene looked her way and smiled. The smile faded a little. "The Professor isn't willing to let you go out alone, this was the best chance I had to talk to you."

"Why didn't you tell me I wouldn't make the shot?" Christy asked, her voice weary.

"Because I needed you to prove to Raven, I mean Mystique, that you would have tried." Christy had suspected there was a reason, and hoped it wasn't because Destiny liked to jerk her around.

"So what's up?" Christy shifted to lean back on the car door and face Irene. They had about a half hour to chat.

Christy's eyebrows were drawn together in concern as she made her way back to the theater to meet Mystique. The things Irene had said were hard to hear, especially hard for Raven.

"Should I trust her?" Raven whispered before they got to the door.

"I don't know." Christy wanted to say yes, but this wasn't her world. Everything she'd heard about Irene and seeing the woman, Christy felt like she was trustworthy, but this was a big step for Raven and Christy wouldn't have to live with the consequences, Raven would. Raven had less than an hour to make up her mind, because Irene wanted an answer when they left the theater.

"Hey, Xman." A whisper in her own voice had Christy turning around in the abandoned feeling bathroom to see her twin.

"Not anymore." Christy leaned against the sink. "She quit already."

"Oh." The Raven form shifted into the young teenager, "so, are you in?"

"Raven needed some time to think." Christy felt the weight of Raven's decision and didn't envy her. "Irene's giving her until the end of the movie." Christy shook her head. "That's hardly enough time to make a decision like this."

"Okay, well I left your date all warmed up for you."

"She's not my date." Christy stared into Mystique's eyes. "Tell me you didn't act like this was a date."

Mystique smiled at her wickedly for a moment, "Oh so my making out with her during the movie wasn't appropriate?"

"Funny," Christy recognized when she was being teased. "Oh, and Irene told me that I was amazing. I may have ruined her for you." Mystique just nodded once, acknowledging the return jab. "I need to get back there, anything I should know?"

"That you've admitted to a crush on the leading lady."

"Okay, I can do that." Christy moved to leave with a determined stride. Storm was seated in the back row. Christy moved to her side and gave the woman a small smile before sitting down. The movie played in front of her eyes, but her thoughts weren't on it.

"Thanks for coming with me." Christy took the half empty popcorn bucket from Storm's fingers as they stood up.

"It was fun."

"What are we doing?" Christy thought to her double as she carried the bucket of popcorn past the trash can near the doors to the theater, slowly following the crowd with Storm by her side. A hand distractedly pulled out a small handful of the buttery and now cold popcorn to her mouth as Raven didn't answer her.

The cold air felt good on her skin as she got out of the crowd, something that Christy hated more than Raven did, crowds made her nervous because she couldn't see threats. It was the bodyguard in her that liked to see everything going on.

She stared at the trash can as she started to make her way towards it. "Raven?" Christy whispered as Storm moved around an older couple to stand by her side.

"Do it." The voice was nervous and quiet, but Christy heard it. Christy glanced toward where Mystique's car had been, stared right into Irene's face, even though the woman was far away from the door and knowing Irene would see it happen, Christy dumped the popcorn bucket upside down, pouring the popcorn into the trash can, following the mess with the bucket itself.

Raven was going to dump it all, and this was the signal that she would. Raven was going to run away from the Xmen, away from New York, away from the Hellfire club, and away from the Professor before the man managed to find a way to make her stay. Irene had told them that the Professor wouldn't let Raven leave, and that if Raven wanted to be free she had to cut all ties and go into the equivalent of the witness protection program before Christy left, since the Professor didn't expect her to try and leave until after. She couldn't take much with her, and she couldn't ever call the people that meant something to her, because once the Xmen found her they'd drag her back home and want to know why she ran.

Given all this risk Raven was taking, Irene only told them that it was in Raven's best interest to go. Christy tried to get more information for her double, but Irene talked about possible futures and potential dangers, staying vague, but insisting that it was in Raven's best interest to go.

Raven decided to trust her enemy. Christy prayed Irene proved to be a trustworthy one.

What was Raven going to do about Tessa? Christy couldn't imagine Raven walking away from Tessa.

………………….

Raven had control of the body. In the past week since Raven made her decision Christy had learned how to surrender some control and every night they seemed to follow the same routine. Christy just watched as the wall got closer and closer, and then they turned and the opposite wall approached. Pacing at this speed was almost exercise, but Christy said nothing and made no attempt to do anything about it. "Do you think she'll come?" Raven asked again before turning to the other wall. "I mean, we could make a new life. We could be free." Raven's voice became quieter. "Be together, finally." It was painful to hear the slight hint of hope, and the despair in the same question.

"I don't know." Christy answered as gently as she could.

"She's got to get out of there." Raven swallowed painfully and Christy hoped for both their sake that Tessa would change her mind about staying behind. Christy had asked Tessa to leave the club with her when the Xmen rescued her, but maybe… If there was any justice in the world, maybe love would win this one.

"It's time for bed." Christy thought gently to Raven. It was actually way past time for bed. Raven was restless, nervous, and while Christy couldn't blame her, it was getting hard to hold back from taking control. She didn't want to just stop Raven and take over because Raven deserved this freedom, but her mind felt tired and weakened from her efforts to remain calm and removed as Raven paced and worried.

"You sound like a lover." Raven smiled just a little, Christy could feel it.

"If I was your lover I'd use more than words to get you in bed." Christy teased. "I know where that spot is behind your ear that makes you whimper." Christy's mental voice took on a seductive quality.

"Don't." Raven didn't sound amused. There was a strained tone to her word.

"I'm sorry." Christy apologized and did her best to send warm thoughts to her double. It bothered her that Raven might be afraid of her. Christy would never hurt Raven.

"I'm not afraid." Raven sat on the edge of the bed. "I know, and I'm…" Raven sighed heavily and went quiet for what felt like a full minute. "You're leaving." Raven's voice broke. "Everyone I love leaves me, and now… I'm leaving everyone and you aren't coming with me." Raven's head hung down, staring at hands that were in tight fists and laying in her lap and that was all Christy could see. "I love you."

Raven's arms slowly wrapped around her own body, the slow movement and slight caress from fingertips turned the self hug into something more. A physical expression of that love that made Christy ache to be able to return that hug, but it was something they weren't capable of.

Raven pulled the sheet back and got into bed. Christy let her double cuddle up to the pillow, pull the sheets up over them and turn off the light.

"I love you too." Christy finally figured out something to say. "Part of me wishes I could stay with you, but I have to go home. I love her, and I can't… she needs me, and you are strong. So much stronger than me, you'll be fine." Not that Christy would ever know. It had bothered her to not know about the other double's she left, but leaving Raven would leave a hole in Christy's heart.


	19. Hellfire 1 Part 8

500 Miles

Hellfire

By Princess Alexandria

Christy sat in front of the computer going through Raven's email with her. The younger woman had few personal emails even after having not checked it in two weeks. Raven dictated her responses to Christy on those that she did have and there was a sadness in her voice when Raven talked.

She almost hit delete on the junk email on the screen when she caught something off about it. The subject line was filled with the words A New Start At Life, and the message itself sounded like a travel agent sent it, but there was just something. Christy nibbled on her lower lip and read it again.

_Chameleon Travels.__ For the woman that wants to start fresh, to just get away from your worries, call or drop by our offices in Manhattan. A special two in one Valentines offer, departing on February 10th. Take a secret vacation with the woman in you._

Christy shook her head a little and smirked at Mystique's playfulness. "Looks like we have our exit." Christy glanced at the calendar as she deleted the message, and all the other junk mail she could find. "Today." Working with a precognitive was certainly an experience. Apparently today there would be a time she wasn't being watched, a time she could get away. Raven was going to have to pack.

Christy grabbed a sandwich on her way back up to Raven's room. She ate it distractedly as she studied the space Raven had created. She remembered leaving her home with no more than she could carry years ago and moving into the city to try and find food. She'd left behind things she'd missed later, and she wanted to help make sure Raven didn't have regrets like that. Christy hadn't even taken a picture of her family, because at the time it was too painful.

Once she was done eating Christy tried to calm her mind and surrender. Raven reached out and caressed the dresser before Christy heard the heavy sigh. "Nothing that can't fit in the car." Raven opened the dresser drawers and pulled out various items; necklace here, a few clothes, her sketchbook and pencils. The luggage was slowly and carefully packed. The shirts they'd taken from Tessa were packed first, and then pants. "I can get more clothes." Raven spoke quietly as she put the teddy bear in the bag, and carefully packed the drawings she wanted to bring with her. A book went in, a few other odds and ends and when it was all done Christy was staring at two medium bags and a carry on. They didn't even know if they'd be flying, or driving. There was no clue what weather Raven would end up in.

Christy had control again and she sat back on the bed to wait. It was a half hour after they'd finished packing that she heard some yelling. Christy moved to the door to see Kitty and Piotr running down the hall. "Mission." Kitty explained quickly as she passed by.

"Good luck. Be safe." Christy called to the girl's back, before closing the door again to wait in the room a little longer. The loud sound of the jet taking off was her cue. Christy put the strap of the carry on over her shoulder, pulled some sunglasses on to hide their glowing eyes, and grabbed one bag in each hand. Move quickly and quietly to the exits, she thought with some sarcasm as she put one bag down just long enough to open the bedroom door. The Professor wouldn't be able to stop her if she moved fast. Raven's car keys were in her pocket.

"I've been here for years." Raven's voice was sad as Christy carefully navigated the stairs. "I'm going to miss them."

"Maybe you can write." Christy enhanced her hearing so that Xavier wouldn't be able to sneak up on her and she couldn't hear his chair anywhere. They were out the door and navigating the icy walkway towards the garage in no time.

Christy opened the trunk and set the bags inside. Before she could walk around to the side of the car her body stopped obeying her. "There is something I just have to do." Raven's voice was cold.

"We need to get out of here." Christy sent a slightly frantic thought back. Xavier might not be able to control them, but he was a telepath and he could control other people if he decided he wanted to stop them from leaving.

"It won't take long. I just want to leave a message." Raven walked further into the garage and Christy saw the workbench getting closer. The can of spray paint was cold and Raven started to shake it while making her way to an expensive looking car. "He shouldn't get away with this." Raven's teeth were clenched. "He just ruins lives and gets away with it. It isn't right." The lid made a popping sound as Raven took it off. The scent of the paint was thick in very little time, but Raven worked on, writing all over the shiny vehicle.

The hood was decorated with Raven's writing. "Traitor, Bastard, Leave me alone I never want to see you again." The trunk held more of Raven's anger. "I hope you die a miserable and lonely death… soon." Raven signed the windshield with round flowing letters that obscured any vision for a driver.

"Try to cover that up you bastard!" Raven yelled at the car. "He should die lonely, he did that to me. I've been miserable and lonely for years while he let people torture my lover." Raven opened the car door and sprayed the seats and dash with angry lines. "I could… kill him." Raven's arm shook and she tossed the can onto the driver's seat and slammed the door. "I hate that I feel like this. That his death is something I can actually taste."

"Do you want me to do it?" Christy asked softly. She'd march back into the mansion if Raven wanted her to.

"I can't…. I can't." Raven's fist slammed into his hood hard and pain traveled up her arm, making Christy worry about Raven hurting herself. "None of them would understand, they wouldn't believe me. I can't fight my friends, not for him. I'm not going to get locked up for him. He isn't worth it." Raven's voice cracked.

Christy heard the roar in her ears that signaled the transfer of control and she just stood there looking at the anger and pain written all over Xavier's car. "Let's go." Her voice was tired as she moved to Raven's car and got in. Many of the Xmen seemed to consider Xavier a father figure, which is probably what made his betrayal all the more hurtful for Raven.

They made one more stop at the first bank they came across and Christy couldn't help but think about the last world as they took out as much money as the bank would allow in one sitting. This was Xavier's money and he would supply more clothes and other things since it was his fault Raven couldn't just move out like regular people.

It took a while to get to Mystique's home. Irene was standing outside waiting for her, and another woman that had to be Mystique was with her. Christy stopped the car next to them when Mystique motioned for her to roll the window down. "Get out, grab your stuff and go inside. I have to ditch the car."

It was so businesslike that Christy knew it was important. She didn't argue, she just popped the trunk and grabbed the bags. She was barely done closing the trunk when the car started to drive away.

"The Professor has a tracer on your car, and we needed it away from our neighborhood before he realizes you're gone." Irene held out a hand and Christy handed her the lighter of the bags. Irene wasn't a young woman anymore, but Christy wouldn't insult her by refusing her help. "Come inside dear. You can help me make dinner."

…………………

Christy was quiet as she peeled potatoes. She could hear Irene behind her working on her own project, but Christy just stared at the potato in her hand and moved to remove another strip of skin from it. She wasn't sure what to talk about with this woman, and she was feeling a little lost herself. Raven wasn't the only one moving on soon, and it was weird. This world was more hellish than any other she'd visited, but it was the one she'd miss the most.

Could she take Raven with her?

"I can't go." Raven's soft voice interrupted Christy's thoughts and Christy stopped peeling the potato. "This is my world, and maybe some day she'll… I just can't go."

"I know. It was just a thought." Christy sighed. The sound of the pot being put in the sink had Christy looking up to see Irene filling it with water and not looking at her weird conversation with Raven. Not a lot of people had witnessed one of these. "I wish I could keep you." Christy started up her project again. "Irene, do you know where Raven's going?"

"My Raven's going to drop your car off somewhere it can get stolen before making her way back home, but your Raven is going to be visiting a few different parts of the world. She has some choices to make about where to go first."

Christy smiled just a little. "I know. I was a little surprised at her codename too. I went with Demise for mine, Mystique helped me pick it."

"So you are close to her. How is your Mystique?" Irene's movements stopped as the woman waited to hear, but she was still facing the sink. Christy could see some tension in Irene's shoulders.

"It's been years since her lover died." Christy set her potato down. "It took Mystique years to forgive her, she didn't know why Irene did it and from what I can tell Mystique just refused to love for a long time." Christy looked down at the counter to spare Irene from having to be watched and having to hide her reactions to this. "She went from bed to bed, meaningless fling to meaningless fling. She was alone until I found her." Christy still remembered the moment where Mystique realized that Christy really did care, that it wasn't just a partnership of necessity to complete a mission. "She works with me now, she does her own things, her own missions, but we also work together. I can't give her the love she deserves, but I give her what I can."

"So she's still alone?" Irene's voice was weak, pained. "Your Mystique didn't move on?"

"No, not yet." Christy felt the urge to go touch Irene, to try and comfort her, but she stayed where she was and let the older woman have her space. "You are apparently a hard act to follow. She hasn't found anyone worthy of the honor."

"Oh, well that's a shame." Irene's back tensed. "I'm going to go find my shawl, it's getting cold."

"Okay." Christy didn't believe for a moment that Irene was actually cold.

They were setting the table when the front door opened. "No wonder she expected dinner when she got home." Christy muttered, remembering a few times Mystique had said something about having to actually wait for dinner while Christy stayed at her house in the other world. Christy had thought Mystique was pretending to be a sexist pig, but it was actually something she expected. Irene could time it that way.

"It smells wonderful honey." Mystique stepped into the kitchen and Christy watched out of the corner of her eye as Mystique moved to wrap her arms around Irene in a gentle hug while Irene stirred something on the stove. It was beautiful to see love that had lasted so many years. Hopefully Christy and Emma would still have that kind of love years from now. Christy didn't let herself think about how she'd need to be able to get home to have that.

"You." Mystique looked at Christy without pulling her arms away from her lover. "will have to stay indoors for the next few days. We don't want Charlie to find you. It will be a few days until I can arrange to get you out of the city, I'm still working on your new identity. With Charlie's resources and the other enemies you've made, I want it to be pretty iron clad."

"Thank you." Christy felt the urge to hug Mystique for this, but she didn't let herself.

"You can take a walk in a couple days." Irene added while turning towards her. "A few hours to try and tie up that one loose end." Mystique looked a little puzzled, but Christy knew what Irene was talking about, even if she'd never told the blind woman about Tessa, apparently Irene knew.

"Okay." Christy would have to ask Raven if she wanted Christy to be there for her when she went, because Christy had enough power now to leave, but she didn't want to leave if she was needed.

Dinner was delicious and Christy made sure to tell Irene so. She did notice the slight smile Mystique had when she did, the pride. It was so cute.

"Wine?" Mystique glanced at her, "or beer?"

"Wine please." Emma had pretty much ruined her for beer, most wines as well. Loving a rich woman played havoc with her tastes.

The living room was very feminine in feel, it seemed to have Irene's stamp all over it. Christy had seen her Mystique's home and it wasn't nearly as neat and homey, but then spies aren't good about setting down roots are they? She'd needed Irene for that sense of home.

The room was warmly light with a fire and several candles. It had a date like quality, a certain comfortable soothing something.

"Did you want to still go by Raven?" Mystique had one arm around the back of the couch, actually around the back of Irene. "We need a few details for paperwork and if you wanted to switch your name now would be a good time."

"Um, you need to talk to her about this." Christy didn't want to make these decisions. Christy took a calming breath and called Raven.

"I… I still want to be Raven." Raven's voice was hesitant and nervous. "Can we do that, I mean will it be too easy to find me?"

"No, there are several Ravens in the room, let alone the world. You can keep it." Mystique smiled at her and winked.

"It is a lovely name after all." Irene's hand moved to rest on Mystique's thigh, a hint of teasing in her voice.

"A friend helped me pick it." Raven admitted and Irene's slight smile was knowing.

"We need to work out a history for you and you'll need to memorize it." Mystique's gaze was measuring. "This is like going undercover and not coming out."

"I understand that more than you'd think." Raven sighed. "It's not a problem. If… if I can talk someone into coming with me can you set her up?"

"A lover?" Mystique's voice rose a little in irritation. "I really should have known about that before now."

"Hush dear." Irene spoke so gently to Mystique. Clearly she knew something she wasn't sharing.

"I don't know if she'll go." Raven started to interrupt the silence. "But I need to ask her."

"Okay, you ask." The blue skinned spy seemed to take that in stride now. "But we need to work on you now. Charlie's a telepath and the Xmen get around. We'll need to change your look, your name, your job, history, and where you live."

Raven sighed. "I only have half a college degree, I'm passable on a computer but not secretary material. I draw."

"Well, comic book artists are a little too high profile. Whatever we pick you can't climb the ladder too high, stick out too much."

"I'm very good at barely being noticed. I've been an Xman for years and no one ever sees me, not even my team." Raven's voice was bitter. "I don't think it will be a problem."

"Sounds like someone's got issues." Mystique's voice was a little cold.

"I'm here because I've got issues. Why else do you think I have to beg my enemies to protect me all the time? You, Emma… What's next?" Christy tried to comfort and soothe Raven with warm feelings, hearing the anger that was masking her pain.

"Poor dear hasn't had a good day today." Irene spoke softly.

"More like I've had a crappy few years." Raven's head hung down. "I'm sorry, I know you two are helping me and I don't have anything to give you in return. You're helping me anyhow, and I don't even have to…" Raven's voice became a whisper, "I don't do I?"

"We won't make you pay for help with your body dear." Irene moved away from Mystique and did what Christy ached to do, she pulled Raven into a soft and comforting hug. There was no hint to Irene wanting to do more than comfort.

"I would have." Raven's voice cracked. "I can't stay here, I would have." Raven's body started to shake and Irene gently caressed her back as tears started to flow. "I can't believe I would have."

"Shh, it's okay child. It's okay."

Christy didn't push to control anything and let Irene comfort her double. Raven started to relax into the older woman's arms as Irene muttered soft soothing sounds.

Christy could only see what Raven looked at, but from the corner of Raven's eye Christy saw Mystique watching them with a pensive look on her face.

"I wish you'd told me you were worried about that." Christy thought gently as Raven started to get control of her tears, still Raven must see something in Irene she trusted to let her guard down like this. "I would never have come here if I thought they'd do that to you."

"Are you feeling better dear?" Irene asked and Raven's head nodded.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"Don't apologize." Irene gently forced Raven's chin up, making them look Irene in the face, the white eyes were unseeing and a little unsettling. "You don't ever have to apologize for that. What happened to you was horrible, and not your fault, either of you. You cry if you need to." It was Christy's eyes that watered a little at that, as Raven started to pull back from the emotional scene.

"Thank you." Christy gave Irene a weak smile. "It's easy to see how you caught Mystique now, you're pretty amazing." Christy's eyes were pleading and grateful at the same time. "Thank you for hugging her. I hate that I can't hold her." Christy whispered it, even though Raven had to hear it. There was no way to say anything and keep it from Raven.

"I take it Raven is no longer with us?" Mystique finally spoke up, but her voice was softer.

"Taking control is hard, she can't do it for long." Christy started to wipe the tears off of her face. "I'm more powerful, so I end up in charge naturally." She focused on the less emotional topic. "We have to work on it to switch leaders."

"Okay, well we can finish the detail work later." Mystique leaned back in her seat, but Irene was still closer to Christy, gently patting her shoulder, before moving to sit back.

"Perhaps we could pick all of this up later." Irene picked up her wine glass and turned towards the fire. "Why don't you and Raven go pamper yourselves dear? I set you up in the guest bedroom which is the first door to the right upstairs. It has a nice bathtub and a few candles are already in there."

If Christy weren't eager to get away and be with Raven it might have bothered her. Christy needed to see how Raven was but talking to her in front of other people wasn't private enough, and would look odd. Irene obviously wanted to talk to Mystique about Raven, but Christy just smiled and stood up with her wine glass in hand. "That sounds nice. Thank you."

"I'll see you for breakfast around nine. We don't wake up too early around here." Mystique smiled a little, "Oh and if you hear anything going bump in the night, whatever you do don't interrupt us."

"Oh please, like you'd keep it up long enough to wake anyone. I'd be surprised if your lover woke up." Christy grimaced as she glanced at said lover, "Sorry, habit."

"Do you always tease your Mystique like that?" Irene asked and Christy blushed.

"She knows I don't mean it." Christy felt she had to apologize for something that wasn't an issue in that world. It was how Christy dealt with Mystique's overflowing sexuality. "She knows I love her."

"I guess you do. It's good to know she has a friend like you." Irene's voice was serious and Christy looked into her face, seeing the rest of the conversation there. That Christy's Mystique wasn't as alone as Irene feared. "Goodnight dear."

Mystique was watching Christy leave, watching a little too closely and it made Christy feel like she was on stage.

…………………..

Christy didn't want to get in the older couples way, so after breakfast she slid back up to the guest room and pulled out paper. Raven still cared about some of the Xmen and wanted to give them at least a partial explanation. Christy wished she was writing the truth down as Raven dictated, but Charles would probably just make Raven's friends forget the details if she did that. At least this way the spirit of the message would stay with the others.

Jean's letter was first and it was surprising to see the level of emotion Raven showed for this woman. It made Christy remember the world where Jean was dead, which was a mistake, because Raven's words trailed off in horror. It took Raven a few minutes to start talking again and this time Christy tried to not let her mind wander.

She remembered Bobby from the first world, thankfully before she thought of the one on the world she was trying to get back to. Christy held onto that more pleasant image of Bobby helping rebuild a mansion tightly since it appeared that Raven was looking at Christy's thoughts to see another image of her friends.

Storm's letter was written and then Raven just went quiet. "I'm not writing a letter for Tessa. I'm gonna see her." The voice was so determined, like it was a huge task, and knowing how hard Raven had looked for her lover it was an accomplishment that she could.

"Maybe I'll write a letter." Christy thought about all the time she'd spent on the book for the young Emma and how the girl never even opened it. A letter could slip by Emma's reluctance to believe what Christy wrote. If she wrote it briefly Emma wouldn't even know what she had in her hands until she'd read it all.

The soft knock on the bedroom door surprised her. "Come in."

"Christy dear, you do realize you aren't a prisoner here don't you?" Irene spoke gently as she opened the door. "You are allowed in other rooms of the house."

"I didn't want to intrude." Christy saw from Irene's expression that wasn't going to work. "And its hard to talk with Raven when people are around.

"Well, do you two think you could take a break long enough to keep an old woman from having to eat lunch alone? Mystique had a mission she needed to take and won't be back until tomorrow."

"Sure." Christy set the pad of paper to the side and stood up. "I can fill in for the old shape shifter if you want." Christy smiled a little. "Newer model and all you know."

"Honey, she may be your teacher in your world, but she has in no way taught you all her tricks." Irene's voice was teasing and it made Christy blush to hear that tone from an old woman.

"Oh really?" Christy grinned a little. "She's been holding back on me?"

"No, its more that she's not holding back with me." Irene's eyebrows wiggled a little, raising above her dark glasses.

"Lucky girl." Christy moved towards Irene and the door. "So what's for lunch?"

"I was thinking sandwiches, so come make your own."

"And the honeymoon is over." Christy faked a sigh as she followed Irene down the hall. "I have to make my own food." Irene laughed.

It was after lunch when they were sitting by the fire drinking tea of all things.

"So why do you think your Emma and the one in this world are so different?" Irene asked before taking a sip.

"Well, Emma's students died." And Christy planned to write and warn her about that. "It devastated her. She loves kids."

"So if her students didn't die, she might have stayed with the Hellfire club?" It seemed like an innocent question but Christy froze, her cup halfway to her mouth. She remembered watching this Emma sleeping in bed and thinking about how that place was destroying her. "What do you think her life would have been like if her students didn't die?"

"My god." Christy's jaw dropped and she stared at Irene, realizing that Irene was guiding this discussion for a reason. "But she never recovered from the Hellions deaths. She is haunted by it."

"What do you think would happen to her if she stayed in that club?" Irene turned to face her. "Dear, you know the answer."

"That place would kill her." Christy set the cup down with disgust on her face. There was nothing wrong with the tea, but she felt sick with what she needed to do.

"I know its hard to let someone you care about suffer. I have had to do it countless times, because usually my power means I have to pick between two bad paths and I can only try to minimize the pain. I hurts every time I have to lie or withhold information from my lover to try and protect her, knowing she's going to get hurt and I'm just minimizing the damage; that even with all my foresight, I can't really protect her at all."

"Kids." Christy shook her head.

"And what would they grow up to be, with the Hellfire club having so much power over them?"

"Oh god." Christy stared down at the pattern on the area rug. How many times had she heard the sad pain in her lover's voice when the Hellions were brought up? "Is there another way?" One that let her save everyone.

"I don't see a third path."

The rest of the tea was consumed in silence. Christy stared at the empty cup when she finished it.

"I have some information about the places we can send Raven first." Irene broke the silence. "There will be a few moves before things settle down, but we could talk about it and maybe she could pick the first stop today if you aren't doing anything else."

Christy looked up at Irene, finally seeing what Mystique used to complain about. Mystique hated the burden Irene's powers put on both of them and now it made even more sense. "No, I'm not doing anything." But condemning Emma's children to death, nothing important, she thought with some painful sarcasm.

They spent the afternoon talking about the merits of California, New Orleans, Australia, and a few other places Irene had lived over the years. In spite of the pleasant conversation she still felt the weight of her inaction heavily.

……………………..

The door slammed opened and Christy was up and tossing her body over the back of the couch before the sound stopped. Her body tensed as she stood between the door and Irene.

"God Dammit." Mystique swore as she closed the door, but then she seemed to loose the angry growl as she looked at Christy. "You were on the couch." Mystique glanced past Christy to see Irene and then smiled for a moment. "Good to know." Mystique put a bag down on the table and walked carefully towards the stairs.

"Shot?" Christy was in motion again, her voice matter of fact.

"Yeah, and the door hitting it didn't feel too good."

"I'll get the first aid kit." Irene called out and Christy noticed the slow way Mystique was taking the stairs.

"I'll make sure the Amazingly Not Bulletproof Woman makes it up the stairs." Christy called out and moved to follow Mystique's grimacing and growly self up in case Mystique's body decided it would rather fall down. "Just the one or are you hurt anywhere else?" Her voice was softer.

"Just the one." Mystique spoke wearily. Christy inspected the exit wound and was glad to see it. She didn't relish the idea of trying to dig a bullet out, and Irene was maybe a little too blind to try. Christy reached out and touched the dark blue arm closest to her, a gentle caress. It earned her a wary look.

"Sorry," Christy's hand moved back to her side, as Mystique opened the bathroom door and stepped in. Irene was behind her and moving past Christy into the bathroom quickly. "Well, if you guys need me…" Her words trailed off. These two moved so well together it was clearly not the first time they'd done this, probably not even the twenty first.

"Christy." Mystique called out when Christy was a few feet down the hall. "Just a flesh wound, you don't have to worry about this messing up your escape."

"That's not what I was worried about Mysti." Christy called back and then kept moving toward the stairs. Well, it made sense for the lover to patch Mystique up, but maybe she could help by starting dinner and getting that I've been injured beer Mystique liked to have. It was probably the same here.

…………………..

Christy stood leaning against the wall waiting. After having stayed with Irene a few days it was strange to be walking around the city, since she was supposed to be keeping a low profile. A baseball cap was pulled down low over her face and a she wore layers of clothes to protect her from the cold February air.

The confident stride she saw coming her way tugged at her heart a little. Tessa looked perfect, as always, everything in its place, every strand of hair. Christy still wondered what that woman would look like arching beneath Christy's body, her hair wild across the pillow and her face a mask of pleasure. "My lover is going to kill me." Christy muttered with a heavy sigh, not fully believing it, but still falling in love with another woman was going to be a hurdle to overcome.

Christy started toward the door that Tessa entered. "She comes here once a week and just reads and has lunch alone." Raven added what she knew. Apparently Raven had done her research, or she'd been stalking this dark haired goddess.

"Ready?" Christy sent mentally and felt the rush of the switch in control before they reached the door. Raven opened it and went inside.

Raven stopped just in the door and watched Tessa being seated in a corner away from the window. Christy took in the nervousness in Raven's body and the way Raven's eyes caressed Tessa and Christy prayed that this worked out how Raven wanted it to.

"Ma'am, a table for one?" Someone spoke.

"No, no, I see my lunch date over there." Raven smiled and then took strides toward the table. Christy was proud of how confident Raven appeared, knowing it wasn't true. The sunglasses they had to wear made the restaurant seem darker, but it wasn't hard to see Tessa and that was the only direction Raven was interested in looking.

Tessa had a book on the table and looked up slowly. Christy didn't miss the widening eyes. "Can I sit with you Tessy?" Raven asked gently, hesitantly.

"Raven?"

"And company." Raven smiled just a little. "She's going to try and leave tomorrow." Raven's hand moved slowly to the other chair and when Tessa nodded Raven sat down.

"Are you okay?" Tessa glanced around the room briefly before giving such a concerned a loving look to Raven. It was far more opened than Tessa had ever been with Christy.

"Not really." Raven stared down at the table. "I quit Tessa, I can't work for that man. He's lucky I didn't kill him for sending you there."

Tessa's eyes told the story and Raven read it. That was off limits in public. "I found someone that can help me run. He wasn't going to let me go." Raven stared into Tessa's eyes. "Come with me."

"You're running from the Xmen?" Tessa sounded shocked, or as shocked as that woman let herself be.

"He's a horrible man and if I don't run now I'll never be free."

"Raven right now you need the support of people that care about you."

"I was hoping that would be you." Raven's hand crossed over the table and gently took Tessa's. "Please, I love you. I've loved you for years, and I've missed you every day. I've waited for you. We can build a life free of all of this."

"It isn't that simple Raven."

"It can be. You're there because of him, but he knows Tessa, he knows what's going on and he left you…" Christy struggled to maintain Raven's control. When they were emotional it was harder and Christy did everything she could to hold it together. Raven stopped talking and took a few deep breaths, trying to help Christy. This was more emotional than they'd tried to maintain before. "I've got it Christy. It's okay." Raven spoke to her even though they were in public. Raven's voice was less high strung.

Tessa's fingers caressed Raven's hand and when Raven looked back up Tessa was gently studying her. "You know you didn't do anything wrong right? You shouldn't run from the people that care about you."

"He cares so much he told us to never tell a soul what happened. He cares so much he's taken to mind wiping people and even though Sebastian sent me all those nice pictures of my time there he acts like I should just shake it off and get on with being his little soldier."

"Sebastian sent you pictures?" Tessa's voice was cold.

"I didn't think you knew about that." Raven sighed heavily. "Christy gave them to the Professor and screamed at him, but strange how none of the Xmen but the one that Christy left with have mentioned it."

"It could be that they don't want to intrude."

"No, Christy tried to tell someone about the… rapes… and the Professor didn't even wait until they'd finished talking before wiping Kitty's mind." Raven scowled. "It's not new to me. He's done that to me before. I told Bobby once that I was in love and he should stop trying to set me up. He pressured to know who it was and I told him your name. Next day he was still trying to set me up. He didn't remember." Raven's voice became pleading. "He doesn't deserve your loyalty. We can live anywhere, be anyone."

The waiter picked that moment to bring Tessa's drink, so conversation stopped at the table and after he left it stayed quiet. Raven just watched Tessa who seemed deep in thought.

"I can't just abandon my mission Raven." Tessa's voice was collected, in control, the one she used when she was the Mistress. Christy already knew this was going to hurt Raven and debated about taking over, but this was Raven's lover and Christy held back. "No one else could get this close to Sebastian and I'm in a position to do a lot of good."

"Sebastian's a bastard, but he isn't trying to destroy the world." Raven stared at Tessa. "It isn't like he's Magneto or anything."

"And that's why Christy tried to kill him, or was that you?"

"It was both of us, but I'm the one that missed." Raven's voice was cold.

"So now you're willing to kill?"

"For you, I'm willing to do anything." Oh, no, Christy thought as she heard that answer. Wrong answer, so very wrong answer. It may be the truth but it wasn't what Tessa wanted to hear. "I love you and if I have to kill that bastard to get you back I'll do it." Christy mentally sighed at the tough act Raven was pulling, knowing how hard killing really was on the woman. Raven was sounding too much like Demise and Tessa hadn't fallen in love with Demise.

"No, no." Tessa shook her head sadly. "I can't do this. I can't let you become this for us." Christy started to send warm emotions and love to her double, because she could see where it was going. "Raven, you don't need to kill anyone, because I'm not coming back. Go on with your life, find someone that can really love you, that can be there for you, because that isn't me."

Raven's pain proved too much for their control and Christy found herself sitting at the table in control of the body. "You manage to hurt her more than Selene did. Congratulations." Christy glared at the woman Raven had been living for. "This martyr hero act is only going to hurt the people you care about Tessa." Christy stood up. "Goodbye. I know you won't see me again, and I…" Christy stumbled over her anger and stared helplessly at Tessa. "Dammit, Tessa, how could you do this? Don't you know she's got a stash of your clothes she wears to feel loved, or that she had a wall of drawings of you?" Tears filled her eyes. "You don't have time to think about this and change your mind, she's running. She's already left the mansion and the Professor is going to chase her, to try and keep her quiet. If you want her you have to do it now, or you might never see her again."

"I have to stay." Tessa's emotionless mask was up. "And Raven needs support, she shouldn't run."

"I agree she needs it." Christy ignored the tears trailing down her face. "Which is why I believe she should run, because living a few months in her life, in that mansion, showed me she's alone there and she always will be as long as the Professor is afraid she'll talk."

When Tessa didn't respond Christy took a deep breath. "Goodbye Tessa, thank you for keeping us alive. Take care of yourself." She didn't know what else to say, they both still cared about Tessa, but this wasn't going to happen. She turned to stride out of the restaurant, grateful that the sunglasses hid some of her tears. God, poor Raven.

……………………..

Raven still hadn't talked by dinnertime. Christy stared at her plate and found herself pushing food around for a moment, before she forced herself to remember that she should eat while food was here. It wasn't like she felt comfortable going through Irene's fridge in the middle of the night.

"So I gather from your fascination with your plate that lovergirl isn't going with you." Mystique spoke, but although the words weren't kind the tone was. "Is there anyone else you feel the need to visit or can we start working on a new look?"

"Raven?" Christy thought to her double, interrupting the time to deal she'd been giving the woman.

"No, that's it. No one else." Raven sighed. "Stop eating Christy, I'm gonna get sick."

Christy fumbled with the fork for a moment before setting it down on the plate with a sigh. "Thank you for the dinner Irene." Christy spoke politely and gave a weak smile. "but apparently I need to go be alone now."

"I'll leave it in the fridge for you later if you get hungry." Irene gently patted Christy's hand.

"Thank you." Christy gave a weak wave to Mystique and moved out of the dining room, almost dragging her feet as she did it.

With arms wrapped around her own body Christy laid on the bed and rocked just a little. "Love you. I'm so sorry you're hurting." Christy wasn't like the Professor, she wasn't going to tell Raven to suck it up and pretend to be okay. Christy was hurting and she barely really knew Tessa in comparison, so Raven had to hurt.

If Emma had done this to her Christy would have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning for a long time.

Christy fell asleep holding herself like that.

……………………

"Christy." A voice called out and Christy's eye closed tighter trying to block it out. She was tired. "Christy, please." She sighed and opened her eyes to the darkened room and no one else. "I… somehow I couldn't sleep when you did. That's never happened." It was Raven. "Do you think something's wrong?"

Christy rubbed her eyes. She could see the glow of their eyes on their hands when she pulled them away. "Maybe it's because we're powered up." Christy stretched and enjoyed the feeling of working out the kinks sleeping left her with. "I wouldn't worry too much about it." She just guessed, because really she had no idea how powering up affected the other women she'd possessed. No one else could talk to her.

"Christy can I have control for a little while?" Raven asked softly, almost shyly. Christy looked at the darkness again and wondered what Raven would want to do at this hour. Christy enhanced her hearing and couldn't even hear Mystique moving around or talking and that woman was a night owl.

"Okay." The soft sound of the transfer of power filled her ears and then Christy was just staring at the ceiling. The soft caress to her cheek drew her attention to what was going on with Raven's body. An arm was up and fingers gently were touching her face.

"Christy?" Raven whispered. "I… Christy…" The woman wasn't having much luck saying it, but fingers caressed her lips and Christy got the message.

"Raven you don't have to." Christy thought as a finger traced her lips and she felt a tingling, tickling that was arousing. She could feel those lips move as Raven got ready to speak, but the fingers continued to caress.

"I want you. Can I have you?" Raven's voice was needy and a little scared. "You're leaving and I just want… just once, to show you…" Christy's vision became watery as Raven's tears started to fill her eyes. "I need this, with you. I need this."

Christy didn't know what to say. Raven's fingers moved to caress her ear. Their relationship had been anything but normal. "Take me." Christy thought gently trying to encourage Raven to take what she needed. If it was physical comfort, Christy could do that, perhaps not as well as if she had her own body, but it was something.

Raven sat up and pulled the tshirt they were sleeping in over her head, tossing it into the darkness to be dealt with later. "Sorry." An embarrassed flush came to Raven's cheeks and Christy could feel the heat of it as Raven laid back and raised her hips to remove the underwear. "No really romantic way to do this."

"It's okay." Christy sent a wave of affection to Raven, wishing she could do more. "This will be so one sided."

"I don't care. I'm not loosing you without having…" Raven wiped at her tears. "I'll never get a second chance for this, I can't wait until we can figure out how." Her voice was too sad and Christy suspected that this wouldn't be happening if Tessa hadn't broken up with Raven earlier. Christy pushed thoughts of Tessa and Emma away, ignored the fact that Mystique was a nosy bitch and wasn't far away and just surrendered all control.

It was like Raven was afraid to touch herself as Raven's fingers slowly moved to caress their breasts. It was tentative, slow, torturously gentle and Christy found she liked it that way. The touches, caresses were worshipful and shy. They were also not rushed. Christy started to get the sense that Raven would be okay with caressing Christy for hours without trying to achieve release.

A hand moved to run fingers gently over her scalp and Christy sighed. "I noticed you liked it when Emma played with your hair." Raven's voice was soft. Christy had been doing her best to allow herself to just enjoy the sensations, but this was the first mention of Christy's experiences in that club, even the ones Christy didn't really mind. "It's okay, I don't want to ruin this, I'm sorry I brought it up." Raven apologized and ran her other hands fingers over her lips. It mimicked a kiss.

The hand in her hair moved down her neck, trailing fingers over her skin lightly and then moved to caress a breast again. "God, this is nice." Christy encouraged Raven. It was nice, when she was in control of her own arms she rarely took this much effort in pleasuring herself, she was less patient. Of course she didn't need to work too hard to get aroused, she normally was touching herself because she was. Raven was going to have to start that fire, but from this it looked like Raven might not have a problem doing it. She could feel Raven smiling as soon as Christy finished that thought.

"I wish…" Raven whispered and then it trailed off. Christy found she had partial control and she arched her back into the touches. "I bet you are so sexy." Raven nibbled gently on her lower lip.

Christy found herself envisioning her Demise outfit, the leather and her in control stride. She'd seen herself on television a few times so she'd seen herself in action. She'd been told she looked sexy then.

"So sexy." Raven's fingers started to trail down their stomach, gently caressing the skin just above where hair had grown back sparsely. "Christy?"

"Yes." Christy answered and warm fingers moved to even warmer flesh. "Yes." Christy whimpered at the first touch. "Raven."

"So right." Raven answered as fingers caressed their sex. "It should be you, not her."

"What?" Christy couldn't help but think even as the touches became more sure and more purposeful.

"The last one should be you, not her… I want it to be someone that loves me." It still made no sense. Christy's breath caught as the warmth started to spread everywhere Raven touched.

"I'm losing control." Raven spoke through gritted teeth and Christy heard the rush, the emotions were too intense and Christy was in control. Christy continued what Raven had been doing.

"Yes, Christy please, please…" Raven's tearful pleading tore at Christy's heart. "She said she'd be the last one, please… don't let her be right."

Oh God. Christy had to push that thought out of her mind as she heard the pain in Raven's voice and finally figured out who the she was, Selene. Christy pushed that desire killing thought away and focused on her affection for her double as she worked to give Raven a release that wouldn't haunt her.

This time when she came Christy heard Raven's gasp and her struggling to not scream and wake up the others. Christy's body sagged back onto the mattress and she wrapped her arms around herself. "I love you." Christy whispered, putting as much of her emotion and sincerity into it.

"I'm sorry." Raven sounded tearful. "I didn't want her to be the last person… I wanted…"

"I wanted it too." Christy caressed her own skin gently, soothingly. "It's okay baby." Christy felt a little hurt that she'd taken Tessa's place for this, but she was glad she was a part of the healing. Hopefully it was part of the healing.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Raven said what Christy felt as well. "Can we separate and then you stay?"

"I wish I could be two people sometimes," Christy thought about that a moment and chuckled even though it wasn't all that funny, "Or three in this case. My Emma needs me. I have to go or they'll kill her."

"It's okay." Raven sighed. "I understand, it's okay. Let's get some sleep." So Raven didn't want to talk about it. Christy rolled onto her side, wishing she had someone to talk to about this relationship and maybe some privacy to actually do it. Christy hated hurting Raven and she really hoped that Raven understood she wasn't rejecting the woman, but she just wasn't free. God, this was insane.

………………….

In the morning Christy moved to stand in front of the window to stare at the snow falling gently to the ground. It was just a dusting of white at the moment.

"Do you want me to stay until you get moved?" Christy asked softly while caressing her arm and staring out at the beauty of falling snow.

"No, no, it's okay." Raven sighed. "You have to go. I understand."

"But I don't have to go now. I could stay a little longer."

"Christy." Raven paused and Christy turned to look at the mirror in the room so she could see Raven talking to her. "I love you, I do. I couldn't have done this without you." Done what? Christy wasn't sure she helped in any way really. "I never felt alone. Through that whole hell, you made me feel like… well, you were with me when Tessa couldn't be. Knowing, hearing how worried you were for me, how much you wished you could spare me. That meant something to me. So no, you couldn't save me, but what you did, I'll never forget what you did." Christy took a shaky breath when Raven paused. "But dragging this out, I'm not sure… They say you should rip the bandaid off fast, and with Tessa it came off so painfully slow."

"You want me to go?"

"No, not really, but I hate this feeling. This constant fear of what I'll feel like when you're gone. I need to start a new life, and maybe I need to start it fresh. Just me. I love you, but you have a lover to save and there isn't really anything you can do for me that you haven't already done." Raven's voice softened. "I wish… I know it would be strange, but I don't really feel like you are me and sometimes I wish we could be more, but… I can see how much you love her and I can't compete. I can't say that my being lonely is more important than her life."

"I think I love you more than I love me Raven." Christy felt proud of this double as Raven freed Christy to do what she needed to do.

"I'll be fine." Raven gave the mirror a small smile.

"Okay." Christy moved to smooth out some of her hair. "So will I."

"Let's do this." Raven's words had Christy moving to the door. Mystique was going to drive them to someplace they could separate, someplace with water.

…………………….

"A pool?" Christy stared at it.

"I didn't feel like trudging through the woods looking for a lake that wasn't frozen over or having to treat Raven for hypothermia." Mystique closed the door. "Think your little portal will fit in here?"

Christy just shook her head. Her little portal would fit easily, it wasn't really that large. They had warm water that didn't stink of mud and bugs and no trekking all over the place. This could work.

Christy stepped down into the hot tub and sat down as the bubbles stopped. She just sat there for a moment, ignoring Mystique staring at her from the other side of the room. She didn't want to go, not yet. This was new. "Okay then." Christy took a deep breath. Raven had to get on with her life, Christy had to go. A tear fell from her eye as Christy took off the sunglasses and set them outside of the hot tub. "Let's do this."

Christy pulled an arm out of Raven's body, the third arm grabbed the railing and pulled out more of a second body. Christy felt the cold of leaving Raven's warm body envelope her with every inch she managed to create and with a panting breath she turned to look at Raven sitting in the water with her. Christy felt the pull to scream and call her portal, it was almost unbearable to ignore with the amount of power she'd pulled in, but she did. Christy stared at Raven, who stared back.

"Beautiful." Raven whispered and Christy leaned forward.

"Just once, I need to hold you." Christy had to whisper, worried that Scythe might come with any loud noise she made at that point. "Just once." Christy wrapped her arms around Raven and held her tightly. Tears fell onto her skin and got absorbed into her. "Love you, always with you." Christy whispered before stepping away. She screamed and let Scythe form. Christy then stepped out of the water and formed pants and a shirt while she glanced at Mystique, a warning in her eyes, and a pleading. She needed Mystique to be worthy of the trust she was placing in her. The blue woman just glanced at Raven then back at Christy to nod.

"Wait." Raven called out before Christy could step into the portal. The sound of water moving and then the sound of footsteps that came to her. "One more thing." Christy turned and hated to see those tears in Raven's eyes. "Just one." Raven leaned into her and kissed Christy gently and slowly. "Get home safely." Raven's chin quivered and Christy could only nod because she didn't want to start crying.

The world faded and it felt strange to not have an Emma there to send her off, just a Mystique and her heartbroken double. The swirling lights and cold of her portal never felt more lonely. In her mind she prayed for some god to take care of the people she was leaving behind in this world.

**_CELINE DION _**__

**"Miles To Go"**

I would walk to the edge of the universe for you  
Paint you a crimson sunset over sheltering skies  
I could learn all the world dialects for you  
Whisper sonnets in your ear discovering truth  
I could never worship pagan gods around me  
I will only follow the path that leads me to you baby... always

Every step I take for you  
I will always defend, never pretend  
That every breath I take for love  
I could never be wrong, the journey is long  
With miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep...

I would carry the rock of Gibraltar just for you  
Lifted like a pebble from the beach to the skies  
I could build you a bridge that spans the ocean wide  
But the greatest gift I give you would be to stand by your side  
Some can criticize and sit in judgment of us  
But they can't take away the love that lives inside us always

Every step I take for you  
I will always defend, never pretend  
That every breath I take for love  
I could never be wrong, the journey is long  
With miles to go before I sleep, miles to go before I sleep...

I won't run from the changing signs along the highway  
Let the rivers flow to the highest ground created


	20. Hellfire 2 Part 1

500 Miles

Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven just stared at where the portal had been. She'd felt a hum of it, and actually felt when Christy entered it.

Why did everyone she loved leave her? Raven wrapped her arms around her body and the reminder that she wasn't hugging anyone else caused a tear to trail down her cheek. "Christy." A soft sob escaped her lips. She'd managed to be strong for the woman, knowing Christy felt guilty enough, but now Raven was alone. There wasn't even the fantasy of one day having Tessa back, she was just alone.

"We should head out of here in case that little portal of hers registered on the Xmen's radar." Mystique's voice was a rude reminder that Raven wasn't physically alone. Raven took a deep breath and wiped her tears away. "Lets go." Raven didn't bother to reply, not wanting Mystique to hear her pained tearful voice. Not wanting to give this woman something she could use to hurt her.

Raven felt the weight of the coat being put on her shoulders and the strong hands that squeezed her shoulders for just a brief moment. It felt almost friendly and concerned, but Raven didn't look up from watching her feet on the ground. The water puddled around them. Her clothes were wet. "You can change in the car, but we need to put some distance in before we stop moving or it could all be over before it begins."

"Okay." Raven sniffled a little and moved to hold the coat over her body as they made their way to the buildings door, which Mystique had broken into for them. The pool wasn't normally opened this early on a Sunday.

The flashes of memories played behind her eyes as Mystique drove. The silence might have been tense, but Raven was hardly paying attention to anything outside of her mind. Christy really had been pretty, and strangely taller. The boots probably. Christy didn't look like she had wanted to leave. Raven took a shuddering breath. It would be nice to believe she'd see her again, but it was over. Raven had more of a chance seeing the mother that never wanted to see her again than she did the woman that helped her survive.

Everyone she loves leaves her.

Tessa's words about never coming home haunted her and Raven clenched her fist hard enough to hurt so that she wouldn't cry again.

"You could sleep in the car, but the house is warmer." A voice interrupted her thoughts and Raven looked up to see they were parked in the driveway and Mystique was standing outside of the car looking in. She hadn't even noticed they'd stopped.

"Okay."

"You feeling okay?" Mystique grabbed the bag with wet clothes.

"I'm fine." Raven opened the door and stepped out. Her head was starting to throb. "Just fine." Her voice was flat as she lied. It would have worked if her knees hadn't failed. She started to crumple to the ground. Her hands moved out quickly to soften her fall.

"Yeah just fine." Mystique muttered as she moved to squat beside her. Mystique lifted her up and moved to the door.

"You don't have to carry me." Raven's breath was coming a little faster in fear. "Please, don't."

"I'm just bringing you inside." Mystique stared into Raven's wide eyes for just a moment. "I'm not going to hurt you." Raven's face blushed and she looked away, ashamed of her instant fear and her uncontrollable thoughts of how badly a shape shifter could hurt her. Christy trusted Mystique not to do that. Just because Raven felt helpless and more alone than ever didn't mean everyone around her wanted to hurt her. She tried to silently lecture herself on her irrational fear as Mystique stepped into the house. Irene had opened the door.

"Why don't you set Raven on the couch dear." Irene's voice spoke and Raven felt herself being lowered onto the soft couch.

"Really, I'm fine." Raven scowled a little at the older woman putting some sort of throw over her like Raven was three.

"Oh stop fussing child." Irene shook her head and started to move towards the kitchen. "You aren't well or you wouldn't have fallen. I'll get you something to drink."

"Oh, could you get me a beer dear?" Mystique's voice drew Raven's eyes back to the blue woman as Mystique sat on the chair nearby.

"Can I have a beer?" Raven asked a little hesitantly. It was disorienting to have people she'd heard about, and friends had fought, taking care of her like this.

"No, it would hardly help you. You're dehydrated." Irene sounded firm as she left the room. "Juice, you'll have three glasses of juice before you go to bed. That can't have been easy on your body."

Raven just stared after the older woman for a moment. "If you still want a beer later I can sneak one up to you." Mystique spoke quietly and Raven turned to look at the woman still studying her.

"It's okay. I'm fine."

"You keep saying that like it'll convince me." Mystique shook her head. "It won't. Stop lying to me, I heard you two last night. Kinky, but still I definitely heard a few declarations of love."

"It's none of your business." Raven's eyes narrowed, willing Mystique to just shut up.

"And that kiss you gave her, well… let me just say it wasn't sisterly."

"You are a bitch. I don't know what she saw in any version of you." Raven's voice was cold as she glared at Mystique. Raven was fully aware how some people might judge her for having sex with her double, and it would be turned into something wrong, but it hadn't been. Christy had been wonderful and sweet and caring. Christy made Raven feel safer just by being there and Raven didn't want to listen to someone turn it into something dirty.

When Mystique opened her mouth to say more Raven's eyes narrowed dangerously. Yellow eyes stared at her, measuring her, and then Mystique just closed her mouth without talking. Good. Too bad that mouth opened again a second later. "So what was her relationship with the other me?" Raven relaxed into the couch a little with that slight change in subject and considered that question.

"Christy was seeing Emma Frost, so you can stop your little fantasies." Her tone was slightly irritated as she filled in where this conversation was going. Apparently Christy left Raven with some understanding of how Mystique's teasing normally went, or it was just experience, but thinking that Christy left something behind made Raven feel better. She'd prefer to think Christy was a part of her still, just a silent part.

"I'm perfectly happy with Irene." Mystique smirked and Raven felt some pain as she looked into Mystique's eyes. She did what she could to cover it, but Mystique wouldn't be perfectly happy much longer. No matter how irritating the woman was, knowing she was going to hurt like that when there were so few truly loving couples in the world, it hurt. Mystique had what Raven wanted, and she was going to lose it.

"Christy might have a little crush on her teacher." Raven spoke more gently, giving Mystique something to boost her self confidence. It wasn't like Mystique acted like she wasn't self confident, but knowing a woman like Christy was attracted to you, well… Raven had liked it when her double's thoughts had turned in that direction for her.

"She throws words like love around a bit freely." Mystique's tone was more serious.

"And she means it every time." Raven noticed Irene come into the room. "Christy is…" Raven sighed and gently took the glass Irene was handing her. "She's from a planet that died and she doesn't put off telling people she cares about them any more. Not after loosing everyone."

"But I thought she was trying to get home."

"Her new home. She wasn't born there." Raven had been stunned to learn this about her double, but Christy had been amazingly forthright in talking about her past, even when she was ashamed of it. Raven held up the glass in a weary toast. "She moves to a whole new reality and finds love, and I can't even keep it when it's in my own state." And why was she sharing this with these two?

Irene patted her arm gently and Mystique was looking at her, seeming to rake her eyes over Raven. "Your lovergirl is really missing out on something, but that doesn't mean you won't find someone else." Raven's jaw clenched. The idea of finding someone else was upsetting. Rather than reply Raven took a drink of her juice, knowing she had a lot more to manage to drink before she'd be allowed to go to bed and finally be away from having to play at being brave.

She missed Tessa and Christy already. She missed Storm, she even missed Kitty who got on her nerves so often.

She was doing the right thing. Raven focused on drinking and ignored the conversation the couple was having. It was the right thing. There was no way she could stay here now. She could never pretend to be okay and fool any of them.

…………………..

"Okay, so you understand what you need to do?" Irene spoke while actually straightening Raven's collar.

"They did try to train me to be a spy." Raven admitted quietly. "I can do this."

"Of course you can dear." Irene gently cupped Raven's cheek and it didn't cause the nervousness Raven was worried it would. "You are far stronger than you give yourself credit for." Irene stepped back a little and the hand fell away. "I will be calling you occasionally."

"Good." Penn station seemed to be crowded and people moved en mass from place to place. "Thank you." It was still hard to believe that when she needed help these two were the ones to offer it. Mystique was pretending to be an older man and he was coming back from the ice cream store with a cone in each hand.

"You better go before they leave without you. All the information you need is in the folder." Irene glanced at one of Raven's bag. "Good luck Raven Tyler." Raven nodded at her new name, the first of several and turned to leave. She kept her head down letting the blonde wig fall over her face, just in case anyone was watching the train stations for her.

Raven was going to have to learn to be paranoid for a while, because there was no way the people she was running from wouldn't try to find her. She never thought she could imagine a situation where she wanted her friends to give up on her, but she did now.

She found her train and moved to sit at a window with a sigh. The strap of her luggage caught in her hair, and she had to carefully fix her wig so no one noticed. It was distracting seeing blonde hair out of the corner of her eye and the feel of it on her shoulders was just wrong, but Raven Tyler was a blonde and Raven was just lucky Mystique didn't feel the need to add a new nose or something else like that to the mix.

It was going to be a long trip to New Orleans, but it was warmer there. It was different. It should be a nice place to visit. Raven opened her carry on and pulled out the file. An envelope held the key to her new apartment and a business card. She turned it around to see Irene's handwriting telling her that she was now a bartender in the French Quarter.

Raven opened the book Irene must have packed when she wasn't looking and sighed. When she went out to bars she normally ordered things like beer or wine. She didn't know anything about mixed drinks, and now she had until the train got to New Orleans to learn.

………………..

"Hey Rav, I need another beer." The man at the bar slurred his sentence a little and smiled at her. He was thin and barely looked old enough to be at a bar with his youthful eyes and messy blonde hair.

"Well Billy, am I gonna have to call your boyfriend to pick you up off the floor if I give you any more?" Raven stopped wiping down the bar and looked at the regular customer. She'd only been working here a month and she'd had to call Billy's boyfriend twice. That man didn't like to come get his drunk lover and really if Billy didn't straighten up there was a good chance there would be no boyfriend to pick him up in the near future. Raven's voice became quieter as she got closer to the man. "He's a really gorgeous man. What are you doing here looking at these lugs?" Her eyes traveled to the show and the half naked men dancing for a less than full audience. Weekdays were slow. Only the alcoholics and a few tourists dropped by.

"He's too good for me. He's gonna figure it out." Billy's voice became sad and so young sounding.

Raven gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to tell Billy he could change that if he wasn't hanging around gay bars all the time without his lover. Telling the customers they shouldn't be there wasn't the way to keep a job and this place was probably the best she could get with little to no job experience. It wasn't like she could put down superhero on her resume. None of the men around here looked twice at her. No one hit on her. For working at a bar she had it good.

After closing up she waved to Jack and stepped out. She could hear him locking up behind her. The street was a little dark and she made her way down the street to where she might be able to catch a cab home.

The cabbie let her off in front of the apartment building. It still felt wrong to think of this as home. Once inside she tossed her keys on the kitchen counter and grabbed a beer as she sat down on the couch. All the comforts of home, she grimaced as she took her first drink and turned on the old T.V. Nothing much was on this late at night, but it beat staring at a wall.

The wig came off and the cool air felt good against her real scalp. Raven rubbed at her real hair absently as she took another sip of her beer.

She grabbed her sketch book and opened it to the drawing she was working on. Christy stared back at her from the page. No matter how hard she tried she just couldn't get it to feel right. Raven had finally taken to accepting that Christy was her double in a way she hadn't before. Drawing features that familiar to her made it clear, but she also felt like she couldn't tell who she was drawing. That weird ambiguity about the differences between the two of them still existed.

She grabbed the edge of the throw on the couch and pulled it down over her. The couch was ugly and had needed the cover up. This place was hardly the nicest place she'd stayed, but it was temporary. Irene had assured her that not all the new identities she gave Raven would live in dumps. Since Raven was the beggar she'd never complained, but it was nice to know the older woman thought of it.

………………….

Raven just watched the disaster in making with cautious eyes, hoping it really wouldn't happen. As the tall dark haired man moved a step closer to a shorter well built man. The subject of the argument stood to the side with wide eyes talking quickly but no one was listening.

The loud music covered up most of the words, but angry clips still reached her ears. Raven shared a glance with her boss and put her towel down. A few customers were looking at her and she had to walk past a few of them trying to get her attention.

"Where's David?" Raven glanced around the bar again and didn't see any hint of his well muscled black clad form or his long black ponytail, which is usually what she spotted first, since few of the customers wore their hair that way. David was more to intimidate people into behaving than to actually force them too, he looked like a formidable fighter, but Raven had never seen if he really could fight.

"Taking a leak." Jack sighed heavily at the scene and how the other men were starting to give the two yelling men a wide berth. "Dammit." Jack took a step towards them and Raven shook her head. Jack was a slight built man over fifty and Raven could see the anger in the other men's faces. Talking wouldn't work. She moved to follow Jack out there.

"Cover the bar." Raven managed to yell at the second bartender as she did it.

"Gentleman." Jack started to talk and was completely ignored. Raven moved around Jack and stared at the two men. The way the tall one twisted telegraphed his move and Raven moved swiftly into his space, blocking the jarring punch and startling him. She was the only woman in the bar after all.

"No bar brawls here." Raven stared into his eyes and her heart beat a bit faster, not that her expression was anything but ice. "You give it up or you take it away. We don't need this shit here."

"This isn't none of your business bitch." His eyes narrowed. "Asshole thinks he can just walk in here and take my fucking boyfriend."

Raven risked a slight glance at said boyfriend, Billy, then looked back at the tall guy. "I broke up with you because you hit me." Billy spoke up. "I can see anyone I want now." That only aggravated the man in front of her more. Raven had never even seen this man. How long ago did Billy break up with him? Figured that the minute Billy's boyfriend actually came to the bar with him this would happen. An ex would be waiting in the shadows to screw up the night.

"I don't give a shit what he did, you don't fight here." Her voice was cold. "Get out and sleep it off." It took more talking and Jack took that responsibility over, but finally the man left. Raven sighed and shared a glance with David who'd showed up somewhere during the scene.

"What the hell was that?" Billy's current boyfriend spoke to Billy finally and Raven gave Billy an encouraging smile before moving back to take care of the bar.

"Raven." Jack tugged on her arm a little to get her attention. "I want to talk to you in the office." He didn't sound pleased.

By the time she got home that night her headache was worse than normal. The loud music and constant chatter at the bar wore her down every night. Also being once again told that she should stay out of fights didn't sit well with her. She was sick and tired of being told she was too weak, that she should stay on the sidelines. She'd been hearing that for years. Sure it was always said gently and in different ways, but the message was always the same. People thought Raven was weak, even the people that knew her. Tessa was the only one that didn't… Raven sighed heavily and tossed her keys on the kitchen counter.

Raven stared at the empty shelf in her fridge with a grimace on her face. She was out of beer. She'd have to go shopping, not an easy task without a car. "Dammit." She closed the fridge door and stood up. It wasn't like she'd be able to sleep sober, she hadn't had much luck with that since she moved here. She'd have to go shopping now before it got any later.

……………….

"Have you done your taxes yet?" David asked her while Raven was busy inventorying the supplies. She stood up and stretched out the stiffness from squatting next to boxes for so long while she tried to think of an answer. It wasn't like she had the paperwork, and her old identity wasn't hers.

"Yeah. I owe a hundred." She muttered the lie while writing down the count she'd just taken.

"Damn, make sure Jack takes more out of your paychecks."

Raven just nodded, but actually she was paying bare minimum. The Raven Tyler identity wouldn't make it to the end of the year and she didn't like having to fund the governments Sentinel program or any other anti mutant measures they were taking. She didn't feel too guilty about finding a way out of paying taxes.

"So are you getting a big check from Uncle Sam?" Raven asked politely while moving to file the weekly inventory report. It felt like it took forever to get out of this place on Wednesday nights, but at least it wasn't daylight as she made her way out the door a half hour later with David by her side.

"Rav," David spoke before Raven could walk away. "Are you okay?"

"What?" Her eyebrows drew together as she tried to figure out why he'd ask.

"It's just, a hundred dollars… you don't really get enough hours to pay that do you? And if you were working at another bar you'd have great tips, but here…"

Oh, money. Raven felt relieved that this was just about money. She started to walk down the street with David by her side. "I'm fine."

"But if you're not, I have a friend that works at a straight bar and they need a bartender there. A pretty woman like you would clean up in tips."

"Trying to get rid of me so Jack hires more male eye-candy?" She smirked at David when he seemed flustered by that.

"No, I just..."

"I know, but," Raven sighed and glanced at him. "I really don't want people hitting on me right now. Working at a gay bar, it's… I like it."

"Bad break up?" He sounded sympathetic and Raven almost wished she could really answer.

"Yeah." That minimum of truth was all she offered as she moved to wave at the cab. "Want to share?" She asked him, and he just smiled and followed her into the cab. David lived twice as far out, but she'd pay her part. He didn't have to stay late, he'd done that for her.

……………….

Raven sighed as she stared up at the dirty ceiling on her day off, her arms hung over the back of the couch and her pencil dangled from her fingers. This was boring. It felt like she just waited for her shifts at work.

She missed having a house full of people she could visit with if she felt lonely. Her eyes fell on the phone and she grimaced. She couldn't even do that.

When the phone started to ring Raven stared at it for a moment to make sure she'd heard it right. She reached over to the table and picked it up. "Hello?"

"How are you doing child?" Irene's voice made Raven smile just a little. It was almost like the old woman knew she needed someone to talk to.

"Bartending is working out." Raven settled in comfortably on the couch again. "It's not too bad."

"That's good to know." Irene's words trailed off a moment and Raven hoped that wasn't the end of the conversation. Her mind moved quickly to try and find a way to keep Irene on the phone.

"You two doing okay?" Her own voice sounded awkward to her ears, and she cringed at how unnatural this conversation sounded.

"Yes. Mystique is on a mission right now, so I'm catching up on my writing."

"You write?" Raven smiled just a little, feeling like this was something she wanted to hear about.

"Well, not novels." Irene seemed to hesitate just a moment. "You know I'm a precog. I write down my visions so that I can try to make some sense of them."

"They don't make sense?" Raven had always assumed it would be like watching a tv show, seeing what was going to happen.

"Not always. And sometimes I get several visions related to a single event. They can be just slightly different or they show me how just a small action can change things drastically." Irene chuckled. "Once I sent Mystique on a mission to move twenty dollars that had fallen out of someone's pocket so that another man would see it. She grumbled for days about sitting out in the cold rain waiting for some man to pick up the money. I managed to keep him from being killed with that twenty dollars. He changed his plans for the day and wasn't in the car accident, he was in the movie theater."

"Wow." Raven shut her hanging jaw, stunned to see how powerful Irene really was. She stopped problems before they started.

"That man has a chance of assassinating a key player in the anti mutant movement. It's a small chance, but if that Senator is allowed to live he could very well cause untold damage." And in that one comment Irene reminded Raven what side of the fence she was on. Raven felt a little uncomfortable with the topic.

"You did that just so he'd kill someone, maybe?" There was a bit of Raven's condemnation in her voice and she didn't try to hide it.

"I had a lot of reasons to do that. One of which was he might kill the senator, or he might become a moving force in the Mutants right movement. He could also become a cashier at a store and live his life in relative obscurity. My powers aren't an exact science. That's why I spend time writing my visions down and trying to figure out how they all work together."

"It isn't right to play god like that."

"So tell me, have you written to Emma Frost yet?" Irene's voice was a little harsher and Raven's eyes dropped down to the floor at that question.

"No."

"And why haven't you? You know she's in danger, her children are in danger." Irene paused. "Is it because you are playing god? You are deciding which ending is more beneficial?" Raven stayed quiet, feeling the guilt again. She'd written the letter and it still sat on the dresser. It had been there for a month. Christy had made her decision, but Raven wasn't sure she could do that. Irene spoke softly. "Some of the children would become Masters, some slaves, but none of them would be innocent. One might die at Selene's hands, Two might torture Emma Frost, one might start a bid for the seat of Black King and your spy might be crippled in the battle… it's all possibilities, not guarantees. Do you understand now? I can't walk away from playing God anymore than you can. Even deciding not to act is making a decision." Raven felt her skin pale at the picture Irene was painting. Knowing that Irene knew about Tessa was also a little concerning.

"But they haven't done anything wrong yet." Her voice cracked as she weakly protested her own inactions.

"Then there are the students that Emma Frost won't have in the future, the ones that will be killed if she isn't out saving them."

"You do this all the time?" Raven finally interrupted the long silence after Irene had spoken.

"All the time." Irene sounded weary. "Constantly trying to mold a future I'd want to leave my children in, but whenever I move one piece another shifts and it's so very hard." Raven was so glad in that moment that she only had the one decision to make. That Christy hadn't left her with endless information about the future.

"That's…" Raven just shook her head. "I wouldn't want your powers."

"Yes, it is a shame we can't pick them out isn't it?" Irene sounded a less irritated, she seemed to be calming down from her defensiveness as Raven started to deflate with understanding.

"Am I…" Raven's question trailed off for a moment, almost afraid of the answer or that Irene wouldn't answer. "Am I like that man with the money to you?"

There was an obvious pause in the conversation. "I won't lie to you Raven. I've had visions about you and our choosing to help you is partly based on that. Partly. I'm also helping you because I honestly like you child."

Raven leaned back so she could stare at the ceiling again while taking a quiet breath. At least Irene was being honest about it, unlike the Professor. When the Professor took her in he claimed it was for her own good, but he'd had ulterior motives. "What are you hoping I'll do?" Her voice was a little higher reflecting her fears of what she was supposed to become.

"There are so many visions about you Raven. I'm still working on deciphering them all, but I do know that telling you wouldn't help. You'll do what you do."

"When…" Raven's jaw clenched and her throat felt tight. "When did you start seeing me? Did you know about the club?"

"Not beforehand. I didn't know beforehand." Irene spoke quickly, her voice attempting to soothe. "A few days before you came to dinner with Rogue I got the vision. I promise you that I didn't set you up for that. Mystique can confirm it, I woke her up because I was crying for you child. I took our decorations down that morning so you'd feel more at home."

A large tear trailed down Raven's cheek. "Thank you." She believed Irene. She had to, because thinking the woman had anything to do with that hell meant she'd trusted the wrong person again.

They talked a little longer about less emotional topics. Raven told Irene about her new job and the people she saw. She talked a little about the weather and other random little things, but her mind stayed on the talk about the visions and on the letter she had on the dresser that she was never going to send out.

……………………

"I noticed you actually have Friday off this week." David's voice startled her as she was doing inventory. She hadn't even realized that he'd stayed for her. "That's my day off too." He smiled at her. "Want to hit the other clubs and listen to music with me?"

It almost sounded like he was asking her out on a date. Raven had to remind herself that David had just recently broken up with a boyfriend, boy being the operative word. It helped her tension from being asked out fade a little. She noticed the hopeful look and wondered if he got as bored on his days off as she did. "Okay." It would beat trying to find something to rent at the video store since Friday night television wasn't that great.

"Great." He smiled even wider and seemed a little puppy-like as he moved to help her lift the boxes she'd been counting back onto the shelf. "We could have dinner first. Do you want me to pick you up? There are a lot of really nice restaurants you'd need a local to show you."

"Okay." Raven wrote down the latest count on her inventory. "Is eight too early?"

"No, it's just fine." He smiled and grabbed Raven's coat off of the chair for her as they started toward the front of the bar. He walked her to the better lit part of the street for a cab yet again and it made Raven feel a little irritated that he felt he needed to protect her. The cab let her off half way to David's house again.

……………….

She checked her outfit in the mirror and decided she looked good. The blonde wig was starting to seem like it belonged to her eyes. Her makeup was subtle and her clothes classy, but not too classy. She had no idea where they'd be going and figured this outfit would blend in best. It wasn't like she had a lot of clothes to pick from anymore. She also didn't have female teammates trying to drag her out to buy new clothes all the time either.

Her living room had a view of the parking lot and she noticed the car moving into a spot out front. It was a surprise to see David getting out of the car, she thought he didn't have one since he never drove to work. She glanced around her less than impressive apartment and deemed it as good as it got. She'd hate for her co-workers to think she was a shiftless loser, but apparently Raven Tyler was. It was pathetic that she was a little embarrassed. Well, maybe it was rude but there was no need to invite him in.

Raven met him on the stairs, heading down to him. "I saw you drive up." She smiled at his surprise. "And what's with the car?"

"I don't bring it to work. My last car got trashed after I had to break up a fight in the bar and I'd rather spend the money on cab fare than go through that again." He stopped walking up the stairs and let her walk down to him.

"Oh that sucks." She kept an eye on the stairs as she walked and tried not to think about how he'd dressed up a bit more than she'd expected. When he held the car door open for her Raven felt a wave of apprehension and a sudden clarity of understanding she wished she didn't have. She was on a date and she hadn't realized that. He closed the door for her and walked around the back of the car, giving Raven a moment to try and calm her mind.

They were two blocks down the road when she started to talk a little nervously. "It's nice to finally have a friend around here. I'm so sick of going everywhere alone, so I just stopped going." She smiled and stared out the side window after glancing at him. "It really is an interesting city, nothing like Manhattan."

"You're a New Yorker?" He sounded amused. "I never would have guessed that."

"Well, here we are." David announced while putting the car in park. Raven noticed the small restaurant. "One of New Orleans better kept secrets. You are going to love the food."

His smiles and his over attention during dinner were just nails in the coffin of the evening. She'd thought he was gay, but he seemed too interested in her. He was probably bisexual. Lucky her.

Raven finally stared down at her fork as she lowered it to her empty plate and sighed. Her habit of not talking about herself, which was more of a necessity than ever before, landed her here. "David," Her eyes moved up to look him in the face. "You do know I'm gay don't you?" He looked a little like a deer in headlights for just a moment. Raven watched him close his mouth and then his shaking his head and smiling helped her relax.

"No I didn't. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize…" Raven sighed and reached out to gently touch his hand across the table. "I really like you David, and I wanted to spend time with you, but I didn't want you thinking it was going to go somewhere."

"It's okay. It's just different." He sighed. "Normally it's the men I'm interested in that are the wrong sexual orientation for me. This is new." After a pause his smile seemed more genuine. "I do have a pretty sister that you might like." Raven hoped he was joking. She didn't miss pretending to date. Would it be pretending anymore? Tessa said she'd never come home. Tessa told her to move on. Raven's eyes fell to the table as she tried to keep herself from showing how much the thought of dating anyone else hurt. "Or not." David spoke more softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Her smile felt weak and fake, but she tried.

"She really broke your heart didn't she?" His voice was tender, understanding.

"Yeah, she really did." Raven took a deep breath and tried harder to push this hurt away. She'd cried more than a few nights over everything, but she didn't like the idea of doing it here with a man that didn't even know her real name, even if he was a friend.

"Well, I think this night out is just what you need." He smiled and pulled out money to pay for dinner. "We'll drink and dance and party all night. It'll get your mind off of it all."

The night wasn't a complete failure, she did manage to have fun and there was no awkward moment as David dropped her off. He even suggested doing it again if they had the same night off.

……………..

"No." Raven twisted in the sheets of the lumpy bed her arms raising above her. "Get off of me!" Her body jerked awake and her heart pounded. Raven sat up and shifted to put her feet on the floor. "God dammit!" Her whisper was harsh and pained. It was bad enough to go through it once, why did she relive it in her dreams?

The amount of light coming in through the drapes made her think it was early morning. Her sleeping was over and she'd only managed to get to bed at four. She violently tossed the sheets away from her and trudged to the bathroom for a shower.

Half an hour later she sat on the couch with her drawing tablet in her hands. She hated nights like last night, where she couldn't drink enough to stop the dreams. Her hand moved quickly with broad rough strokes over the paper. The pencil was dark on the white because she was pushing too hard on it, but she didn't care. A form started to take shape. Long black hair, cold dead eyes, and a cruel smirk started to stare back and her. Raven's lines started to become a little shaky and she continued to work. "Monster." She whispered at the page before the pencil started to scribble out the face. "Monster."

When she was done she had to dump a few pages of her tablet, she'd ripped through Selene's face

She dressed and left the apartment a few hours later. Her house keys jingling in her hand after she'd locked up. Of course the monthly meeting would be today, she felt like shit.

"You look like hell." David spoke as he held the door opened for her.

"Gee thanks what a charmer." She gave him a weak smile as she stepped past him for the monthly meeting. It was going to be an hour of boring talk and watching some of the other employees flirt with each other. At least after this bitchfest she'd have the rest of the day off.

A hand rested on her shoulder and her body tensed up. "Are you okay?" His voice was concerned and she struggled to relax.

"Trouble sleeping, nothing serious." Her voice was cold as her mind pleaded for him to just drop it, and to stop touching her. She didn't want… dammit, things had been better before she knew someone was attracted to her. She'd gone four nights without the nightmare and after the date with David it came back with a vengeance.

"Yeah, sure." He sounded hurt. Great. Raven took a deep breath and turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry." She hesitantly reached out to rest a hand on his arm. "I just get major grumpy when I can't sleep."

He gave her a small smile. "Okay." The meeting seemed to be starting up so they both moved to take a seat.

………………….

"So where is the May Pole." Raven smirked at David and glanced at the stage. "I thought gay men might like prancing around a big pole for May Day."

David's jaw dropped and he just stared at her. He was just a little too stunned. "I can't believe it. Was that a sex joke? I don't think I've ever heard one from you." He started to grin and Raven glanced back at the stage she'd been talking about. Had she really stopped talking about sex at all? She used to joke all the time. "Hey Tony…" David started to talk louder. "You have got to hear what Raven just said…" Her face started to blush a healthy pink as he repeated her joke to another bartender. It earned her a grin before Tony went back to work to get ready for the night and take in the delivers that came in on Tuesday afternoon. He had the shift and Raven had just come in to get her paycheck and meet up with David.

"So I was thinking Jazz tonight. We'll see the St Louis cemetery early," He sighed, "like I do when ever anyone from out of town visits." His grievance was weak and Raven didn't feel at all guilty about asking him to go with her. David sat down at the bar next to her. "We could eat some good Cajun food, and then head out to the Funky Butt." Raven's jaw dropped as she stared at him, sure she'd heard it wrong. David grinned. "The Funky Butt… you know down the street." Oh, Funky, she'd thought she heard something else.

"Sounds like a plan." Raven smiled but she couldn't help but think that if she were really dating David, he'd been a pretty good date for all the times they'd gone out. It would have been nice to have Tessa here, seeing and doing all these things with her. Tessa should have come.

"You two going out on your weekly non-date." Tony asked with a grin that showed he still considered this dating. "Or are you up to bi-weekly non-dating?"

Raven shook her head at the teasing and got up to go. David had his check now they needed to go to the bank. She was paying for today's non-date as Tony called it.

………………..

She didn't see Tony at work for about five days but the first words out of his mouth were, "So how was the cemetery?" as he moved to his side of the bar. They were both it for the night.

"Dead." Raven smiled as she poured a shot for their first customer of the night and handed it off to the man.

"Maybe you and David can go on a non-date to the tomato festival." Raven stopped wiping the counter to look at him, thinking for sure she'd misheard that.

"Tomato?"

"Yep, tomato." Tony smiled and moved towards her. "New Orleans likes any excuse to hold a festival and if they can't find a good one they'll just make stuff up."

"What do they do at a Tomato festival?" Raven felt herself grinning at the absurdity of it.

"They eat tomatoes."

"Okay." Raven turned to the sink. "That seems too wild for me. Maybe I'll just suggest a night of watching paint dry."

"Alrighty then." He smiled and turned to leave, but gave her one more parting shot. "But you'll be missing out on… Tomatoes."

"I think I'll live." A group of three men came in the door and Raven moved to take their orders. It would be a few more hours before things picked up.

Billy came in just as things were getting busy, but Raven nodded to him and pulled out a bottle of Billy's normal and set it on the counter as he stepped up to her. "Hey Billy. You ever been to this Tomato festival thing?" He gave her a confused look as he reached out for the bottle. "I hear it's all the rage."

"Ah, no." He smiled like he understood the joke and Raven smiled at him.

"Tony was telling me I should go."

"I'd take a trip on a riverboat, you'll have more fun. That tomato thing sounds stupid. I never even heard of it." He took a deep drink of his beer. "They have riverboats with music and dinner. Good for dating."

"Or non-dating." Tony's voice over her shoulder had Raven tensing up in shock. She hadn't even noticed him get close. Her heart hammered at being surprised but she gave Tony a tense smile and pretended he hadn't scared the shit out of her.

"Why don't you go mop up after some queers." Raven tossed over her shoulder and the ohhs, of joking from the nearby customers made it impossible to hear Billy well enough to talk to him. Billy just pointed that he'd be leaving to get a seat for the drag show and Raven moved to help someone else who had their hand up.

When things started to wind down Raven started to look around for Billy, ready to offer to make that call. She was surprised to not see him, he was normally among the people they had to actually kick out before closing. Maybe Billy was learning about moderation, or maybe Billy's boyfriend put down his foot on the late night drives to pick up his drunken boyfriend.

Not being Wednesday she was free to leave after clean up. David helped her by putting up the chairs even though as the security he didn't have to do that type of work. It meant she was ready to leave earlier than normal.

She locked the door and then started to walk with him towards the better lit part of the street, but a loud slam and a groan of pain had her turning to the side of the bar. In the shadows she saw a man kicking at something on the ground. "David." Her voice was commanding as she moved to the alley with David next to her.

"Hey!" David yelled out as they got close enough to see it was a man on the ground. Raven moved forward carefully and when the standing man turned to run she started to move after him.

"Call the cops, and an ambulance." David ordered her as he ran after the fleeing man. She'd been planning to do the chasing, but of course David didn't know she could fight.

Raven moved to the middle of the alley and looked down at the victim, taking in his bruised face and cuts that were bleeding into his hair. It was hard to see in the dark and the fact that she could told her in the light he'd look horrible. His eyes were closed and he wasn't responsive when she touched him to check for a pulse. He was alive though. "Oh Billy." Her voice cracked. She hated to leave him alone, but they did need an ambulance.

Once the call was made she went back out to the alley in time to see David kneeling by Billy and checking his pulse. "Bastard got away." David sounded out of breath. "This is Billy isn't it?"

"Yeah." Raven moved to rest a hand on David's shoulder. "Do we have a blanket or anything? I can't see him being comfortable like that. It's too cold."

"There might be one in the office. I'll go check." He stood up. "You'll be okay out here?"

"I'm fine." She gave him a weak smile. Once David left she found herself looking for any sign Billy had been more than beaten, but Billy's pants were still on. How sick was it that his just being kicked unconscious seemed like the better alternative to her? He might not even live. "Billy, you're gonna be okay. I called the ambulance and I'll call your boyfriend as soon as they get here. I won't leave you alone. You won't be alone." A tear trailed down her cheek at the idea of anyone hurting such a gentle man. She kneeled down next to him and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'll keep you safe." Her eyes moved to stare in the direction the attacker went, making sure he didn't come back.

It felt like it took hours, but that was probably the same sense of time that made every horrible moment in a person's life take an eternity. She was used to that slowing of time so that you could feel every ounce of pain, but staring down at Billy, and hearing his wheezing breath that made her worry about his lungs, it still amazed her that time was like this. He still wasn't conscious.

The ambulance took him and the rush made her feel out of touch with what was happening. David's hand on her shoulder was meant to comfort as well as make sure she wasn't in the way, but it didn't comfort. It just made her tense. The police came for their statements, and talked to the paramedics as well. Raven wanted to say let the men take care of Billy first, but at least even in the slow time she could see it was just a quick few questions.

"We'll need you to talk to a sketch artist." The officer was talking to David, who apparently did get a glimpse of the attacker. "And we need to finger print both of you, to rule you out of the finger prints we'll try to get off of the victim."

"Sure, anything we can do to help." Raven's body tensed a little more as David talked for her. Fingerprinting meant her time in New Orleans was over. There had to be a search running on the Mansion computers to see if she showed up and the Professor had her fingerprints on file. He'd see if someone ran them. How thorough was her Raven Tyler identity? Would this cause the police themselves to wonder?

Someone hurt Billy. This was someone that could be made to pay for their crimes, unlike the bastards that hurt her. Raven took a deep breath and nodded, agreeing to go to the station with the police. "I just need to make a call first. Billy's roommate needs to know why he isn't home." She wasn't stupid enough to out the victim, she'd seen too many cases where the police decided to not waste too much time on gays or mutants and if she was going to lose her new home and her friends she wanted this case to go all the way.

She was just starting to really like New Orleans. It just figured.

"I know this is a gay bar Ms. Tyler." The officer spoke softly. "And I still plan to get the man that attacked the victim. I'm a police officer, and that was a crime." Her back muscles relaxed and she nodded to him, understanding that she'd run into a good cop. "Go ahead and call his boyfriend and then I'll drive you both to the station."

Billy's boyfriend, Peter, cried. Raven stood rigidly trying not to cry for him as she told him what she knew and what hospital Billy was going to.

The trip to the police station was quiet. David seemed to think holding her hand was a good idea, and she didn't have the energy to pull it back. Raven stared at the streets they past.

They gave their statements again and their fingerprints were taken, along with some dna and hair. She didn't volunteer that hers was a wig, they'd figure it out soon enough. It sounded like the police were planning in case this became a murder investigation. Hopefully Billy would be strong enough to stop it from becoming that.

Dna. Great. So if her fingerprints didn't set the Mansion computers into fits, this would.

They were sat by a desk with a middle aged man as David started to describe the man he'd seen. David talked about the shape of his chin, and the style of his hair, and a picture started to form in Raven's mind. It wasn't the picture she saw developing on the sketch artists paper and David was getting a little frustrated as he tried to remember details that non-artists just didn't remember or notice.

"Can I have some paper." She interrupted the sketch artist and he looked a little irritated but he handed some over. Raven grabbed a pencil without asking and started on her own sketch. She could feel the men looking at her a little surprised, especially since she hadn't seen the attacker. She drew someone she had seen, someone with motive and someone with anger issues. Billy's ex-boyfriend started to fill the page just as she'd seen him that once in the bar.

"That's his chin." David's voice was closer, obviously looking over her shoulder. She hated that but she ignored it and kept drawing. Filling in the hair David described, but changing the eyes to what she'd remembered. "Yeah, yeah… like that." The sketch was rough, but David clearly recognized him.

"That's Billy's ex-boyfriend." Raven handed the picture to the sketch artist, and noticed his slightly impressed expression. "I heard he was violent, but I don't know his name. Maybe Peter does."

"You're good." The artist took the paper and stared at it. "Good detail."

"If I had to just hear what he was looking like it wouldn't be that great, but I saw him before." She was diplomatic, but really even just looking at the lines in the sketch the other man was making it was clear she was the better artist. "He tried to start a fight in the bar over Billy. He didn't understand that Billy had moved on and he wasn't his boyfriend anymore."

"I'll get this to the primary detective right away."

The police car dropped her off at home and Raven just sighed as it pulled away to take David the rest of the way. David deserved to know why she was leaving, but maybe she'd get lucky and not have to leave just yet. The police might need more information. She wanted to know if Billy ever woke up.

The next day Raven got dressed like normal and went in to work. Just another day. The fact that she'd made sure she knew every exit to her apartment and the bar that day didn't change that she'd taken money, filled orders, and smiled at lame jokes during her shift.

………………

The phone call came just as she was making breakfast.

"Hello?"

"Child it's time to move on." Irene's voice was firm. "Grab only what you really need and leave, the Xmen are already in New Orleans. Catch the Sunset Limited train to California and get off in Maricopa. I'll have a new identity sent to you and a bus ticket to your next stop."

Raven knew this day was coming. She just sighed. "Okay, do I have time to say goodbye to David?"

"He'll want you to answer questions and you don't have time to talk. Mail him the letter you most likely already wrote. I called you a cab."

"Okay." Raven wearily hung up the phone and moved to the closet. Only the things she'd brought with her needed to go. The clothes she bought, the kitchenware, and other things would be too many bags. She did grab the few pictures she and David had taken while out playing tourist. She left the apartment quickly once her cab got there.

Out the back window she could see a van drive up and she watched as her friends got out. She could see Logan sniffing the air and fought the urge to tell the cabbie to drive faster.

"How much do you think a train ticket costs?" She looked in her wallet and didn't like what she saw. "Nevermind, take me by a bank." She'd have to clean out Raven Tyler's account anyhow.

"What bank?"

He wouldn't know. Raven forced herself to calm down and think. She gave him directions to her bank, which was not far from her work. Maybe she could sneak in and drop off her keys and David's letter. She didn't want her co-workers to worry about her.

The bar was quiet when she went in. Raven put the letter on the bar and a note she'd made on register tape told her boss that she was sorry she couldn't give notice and that she'd loved working there with them, but she had to go. She also told him that she'd put the keys in the mail drop after she locked up. She took the picture of them all that was in the break room and stared at it a moment, wondering if she'd feel like this every time she had to run.

"Knew I'd find you here kid." The deep masculine voice was familiar and her body tensed.

"Logan." She said it as she was turning to see him. She was a little surprised to not see the others behind him.

"Storm and the others thought maybe Christy kidnapped you, or someone else."

"Christy's gone." Her fists clenched just a little as she went through her mental map of the bar and the exits. "She left in February."

"Why you running?"

Raven took a deep breath. "Everyone else can come and go as they please, but I can't? I told the Professor I wanted to go and he told me he couldn't let me." Even after all this time her heart ached over having to leave them all. "Just let me go Logan. I don't want to be an Xman anymore."

"Why?" He was also so brief in his questions.

"It doesn't matter, it's time for me to be free." Raven was always conscious of telling anyone too much, it was a habit drilled into her and one that she didn't feel comfortable putting away. "I just want to be free Logan. Let me go. You take time off, why can't I?"

"But you're not talking time off are you darlin'?" His voice was softer.

"No, no I'm not. It's over for me. I just want a normal life without the fights and the lies and the constant fear. I just wanted to live here and pour drinks, but I lost that now. The Professor told you to drag me back regardless of what I said didn't he?" She stared into his eyes. "How would you feel if it were you? If you tried to leave and were forced back?"

"Shame I didn't see you." Logan leaned against the bar. "I woulda liked to tell you good luck and that Xman or no, if you needed help you knew how to find me, but we didn't catch you. You left before we got here."

"Thank you Logan." Tears filled her eyes. "Thank you."

"I'm gonna go suggest we check out the train…" She tensed up and Logan smiled. "The airport to see if you ran there." He pulled out his wallet and walked up to the bar, setting something down. "A tip. Bartender here was cute." She just stood and watched him walk out the front door. She took a hesitant few steps to the bar and stared at the money he'd left for her. A hundred dollar bill stared back.

The train left just a little before noon and Raven sat in her window seat and sighed as New Orleans faded into the distance.


	21. Hellfire 2 Part 2

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Maricopa Arizona was a day and a half trip from New Orleans. She wasn't going to be getting there until after ten at night the next day and she didn't even have anything to read to prep for her new life. Not knowing how much money she'd need to get set up she'd passed on paying for a bedroom for the night, opting to not sleep. She couldn't sleep with people around her.

With nothing else to do she pulled out her sketch pad and started to work.

A few hours later someone moved to sit beside her, even though there were other seats. Raven managed to not sigh at the intrusion and moved subtly to stare at her work and ignore them.

"You're good. Is that your sister?" A woman's voice interrupted her.

"Yeah." That answer was close enough. She was still struggling with making a convincing Christy. Maybe Christy needed a background to really stand out as different than Raven. Raven started to consider a proper background for her double and ignored the shuffling of her seat mate settling in.

"Do you do commissions?" Raven looked over at the woman finally and was surprised to see yellow eyes and a teasing smile on a pale skinned blonde. The voice changed a little, became deeper. "I see you forgot the wig."

"Didn't seem a point to it anymore."

"Hair grew a little, that's good." Mystique seemed to be studying her. "I got us a room. Let's go."

"What are you doing here?" Raven moved to put her sketchbook back in the carry on bag.

"Got on at Lafayette, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by." Raven followed Mystique out of the train car and into the next. They moved through a few without really talking and then Mystique moved to open a door.

"Deluxe on a train is still crap." Mystique sighed and moved to sit on one of the beds. It was a bunk bed set up. "So I was thinking you'd make a gorgeous redhead. Deep red, but we could go dark brunette, mahogany. Either will work in your hair."

"We're gonna dye it?" Raven set her bag down on the bed. Mystique didn't even think that question deserved an answer, so Raven just sighed. "Red sticks out too much."

"You aren't trying to hide from everyone, just the Xmen. You don't need to be mousy." Mystique's eyes took in Raven's clothes pointedly. "You are pretty, why hide under baggy clothes?"

Her outfit was the only new clothes she'd been able to bring with her, but most of her clothes were like this. "I like them. They're comfortable." And fewer people leered at her.

"Fine." A bag that had already been in the room sat on the floor and Mystique picked it up. "So Brunette or Red, I bought both." Two boxes were set on the bed and Raven moved to pick them up and compare. "With your hair length and skin color I think Red would look sexy."

"Brunette." That was all she needed to hear. She held out the dark brown hair color and moved to sit.

"I see. Okay." Mystique spoke softly and took the box. Mystique reached into the bag again and pulled out a tshirt. "Put this on and we'll get started."

Raven just sighed and stared out the window while Mystique put the hair coloring on her hair, a dark brunette would cover up her light brown hair easily. This was strange. She had an international terrorist playing hairdresser on the train Raven was using to run from her friends. "Alright, that needs to sit on there a while. You hungry? I could use some dinner."

"Sure."

"Okay, be right back." Mystique shifted out of her blue skin and into the woman she'd been when she sat down beside Raven to start with.

The chemical smell seemed to fill the room, making dinner taste even worse than it probably was. Raven just ate in silence and occasionally glanced at the spy, who was staring out the window now. The thoughtful look on Mystique's face made her look more serious than Raven had seen her in a while.

Mystique sighed and turned to face her. Mystique inspected a few of Raven's hairs before sitting back in her seat again. "Go shower that stuff out of your hair and we'll see what we ended up with."

……………

"Somehow I think bartending would have been better." Raven said as she looked at the books Mystique dumped on her bed before climbing up to the top bunk. "Bookkeeping? I wasn't all that great at math."

"That's what calculators are for." Raven could hear Mystique settling down on the upper bunk. "Look, I need a nap. I was awake all night on a mission and then had to rush out the door to give you a make over. How about you study and let me sleep?"

"Okay." Raven wasn't near tired, it wasn't even dark out yet. She moved to open the first book and laid back on her bed to read.

"Oh, wake me up in time to get off at Houston at nine."

"No problem." Raven set the book down and pulled the envelope closer. She pulled out the fake birth certificate that had her born in Oregon a year and a half later than she'd actually been born. Raven Johnson was born in April. She'd had classes in book keeping at the local community college but hadn't completed her degree.

Raven shuffled through her new identity, picking up the important notes. Her new Nevada driver's license had her new look on it, Mystique had managed to make it herself, but she claimed it was a valid one. Raven's deep brown hair made her look a little more pale and it needed mousse to make it lay right, but it was less spiky and more wavy now. An inch or two made a big difference. Mystique said it looked more business-like, but that she could have had a Mohawk and still got the job they'd arranged for her.

The Kitten Ranch wasn't overly picky on appearance for the office staff apparently. Raven could understand that, breeding cats couldn't be too formal. Hopefully the fact that she wasn't really familiar with cats wouldn't mess this up; she was just supposed to do the books after all. She shuffled through the papers looking for information about her new job, but there wasn't anything more than an address and the name of her new boss, Lois.

She picked the book back up and started to read, trying to absorb enough to fake it in the beginning at least. She could continue to study after she got the job, but she didn't want to seem incompetent in her first week.

The bookkeeping books were causing her a headache, so Raven decided to take a break. She moved quietly to pull out her sketch pad and pencil. Turning to a blank page she stared at it a moment trying to decide what to draw. As she turned towards the beds she could see Mystique facing her with her eyes closed. She looked so relaxed. Raven smiled and moved to sketch the sleeping shapeshifter.

Mystique's eyes opened. "Don't move." Raven spoke quietly as she continued to try and get Mystique's pose. "There aren't a lot of women like you. Do you mind if I draw you?"

"I'm not in the mood to play model." Mystique sat up, ruining the pose.

Raven sighed and closed her sketchbook. "Okay." It was a shame. She hadn't had a decent model since before… well, before she'd been captured. "It's only a little after eight, if you want to sleep longer you can. I didn't mean to wake you. I just can't resist drawing beautiful women." While that was true, she said it because Mystique was still seeming grumpy.

"Yeah, well, you should. I had my hand on my gun when I felt someone watching me. You didn't notice that did you? If I didn't hear you scratching at that paper you might be sporting a new hole in your head."

Raven glanced at Mystique's hand and didn't see a gun there now. She hadn't even noticed a gun on the shape shifter at all. "Sorry." Raven stepped back from the bed and moved to pack her sketchpad back up. The urge to draw had left her. She picked up the book to start studying again.

"You have this room until you get to Maricopa. The bus doesn't leave until the next afternoon, so once you get there get a motel room and get some rest. We left you a car at your apartment and you have the keys in that envelope, nothing special, but your job is too far out of the city so you needed something." Mystique smiled just a little as she stepped out of the tiny bathroom smelling like shampoo. "You don't make that job work and you won't be able to contact us to get another one. This Las Vegas identity has to last you a bit longer, so don't get caught up in any more police investigations." She paused. "Make sure you don't stop by too early at your work, they don't tend to get started until after noon and they work late."

Work late? How large of an operation could this be? Hopefully she'd get enough hours to buy groceries. "Okay. Thanks." Irene wouldn't have sent her out there if it didn't pay enough.

Mystique's smile grew. "No problem." The shape shifter moved to the bag she'd brought with her, which had a lot less in it now that Raven had the books and they'd dyed her hair. "Hope you like this new life. Give it a chance." Mystique picked up her bag and turned to the door. "I've got to go. See you around. Good luck."

Raven stayed quiet as Mystique shifted and almost let her walk out of the door in silence. "I'd tell you that too, but I'm pretty sure whatever you're doing is something I shouldn't know about. Just don't die."

"No worries there." Mystique smiled. "And you're right, even ex heroes wouldn't like knowing how I'm about to make some serious money killing a corrupt politician." Raven winced and looked away. The door opened and closed and Raven sighed heavily.

………………….

The bus ride made the small room on the train seem very deluxe and roomy. Raven was glad to step out at Las Vegas. Seeing hours of nothing but desert wasn't interesting, there hadn't been room to draw and studying wasn't easy with the mother of two loud kids not doing much to control them. Las Vegas. It was like any other city. They didn't drop everyone off on the strip.

She gave the cabbie her new address and tried to imagine what it would be like. She wasn't liking the possibilities as they drove past dump after dump. If she made a friend it would be nice to have a place she wasn't ashamed of. God, a place she wasn't afraid of would be even nicer, one that didn't look like she needed bars on the windows perhaps.

She was a little surprised to find the city fading away as he continued to drive. Raven resisted the urge to ask if they were almost there and just watched the streets go by. He finally pulled up to a nice looking apartment building. It wasn't very large and it looked clean and welcoming. A small smile of hope came to her lips.

Apartment 2C wasn't hard to find. Raven slipped the key in and opened the door. It smelled clean, and the place didn't look like it had been furnished with rejects found on the side of the street. It still wasn't very large. Raven set her bags down and closed the door. She moved around to find it had a small bathroom, but it was in good shape. The bedroom had a full size bed and some clothes in the closet. A quick check of the sizes told her they'd fit. They really were setting her up here, she took in the semi casual office clothes and bet someone had already checked to make sure she could dress like that.

She moved towards the small kitchen and noticed the note on the counter. It held driving directions to her job and it looked like she was living halfway between the city and the Ranch. That worked.

Rather than unpacking Raven pulled out her wallet and the car keys so she could take a drive. She needed some groceries before she tried to go to bed, and she thought she remembered the cabbie driving them past a grocery store. "This could work." She smiled as she took in the apartment again. This felt good. Hopefully the job felt like this too.

……………..

"I may forget what the day feels like." Raven muttered as she woke up. She wasn't really grumbling, because these hours really worked for her. She had trouble sleeping at night, so waking at six am would definitely not work well. Turning off the alarm she had to set to wake up at noon, Raven tossed the sheets off of her body and trudged to the shower. She didn't have to take anything off because she hadn't had anything to sleep in. Mystique conveniently forgot to get her something, if it was Mystique that set up this apartment, and it was too warm to wear a sweat shirt.

By one she was sitting on the couch staring at the map she'd bought the night before. A red pen mark circled her destination. It was nerve racking to just walk into a place she was supposed to work. Part of her still felt like the places might say no. She didn't feel she knew enough about bookkeeping to earn this one, and getting the job wasn't the same as keeping it. Irene might be able to pull strings for her, but if Raven sucked at what she did no place would keep her, especially if she screwed up their money. Carefully folding the map she set it next to her purse and moved to take one last look at herself before trying to find this place. Her black slacks were light weight but very professional and her blue shirt was short sleeved, because really it was the middle of the desert and the beginning of summer. It seemed appropriate. She stared at her face and the dark hair surrounding it, feeling like she wasn't really looking at herself. She'd gotten used to the long blonde hair and this looked wrong. Well, Raven sighed, it wasn't like she hadn't needed time to adjust to the other look. She would eventually feel like this was her reflection.

The keys to her really non-descript sedan in her hand she moved to the door, grabbing her things on her way. Better to just get this over with than sit here worrying about not being hired when this was the only lead Irene gave her to a job.

With the air conditioner humming Raven pulled out onto the street. The map sat on the passenger side folded to show where she was and where her destination was on the front. It didn't seem too hard to find even if it seem out of the way. There weren't even a lot of streets out towards the Kitten Ranch.

As Raven drove along the long road and barely saw two cars pass her she started to worry about being lost in the desert. She could just imagine her car breaking down and stranding her on the side of the street. She continued to drive but was looking for a sign that let her know she was still on the right road. What she found was a different sign telling her the Kitten Ranch was five more miles away.

Raven's drive slowed as she contemplated the sign she saw. It replayed in her memory. The white background and red letters were innocent enough but the drawing of a woman's silhouette didn't belong on a… "Oh my god." Raven felt her face pale. It had only taken a second to remember Mystique's grin and the way there wasn't all that much information about this place in her papers. Dust was kicked up into the air as Raven pulled her car onto the shoulder and turned around. That had to be it. She'd heard that was legal here, but hadn't really thought about it. "Kitten Ranch." She shook her head and drove faster. There was a diner a few miles back and she needed a phone.

Her car jerked a little as she slammed on the brakes to park. Raven only had eyes for the pay phone she saw just outside the diner doors. Irene's number was one she'd memorize carefully, knowing it was one she might need in an emergency.

"What is the Kitten Ranch?" Her voice was cold as she started talking as soon as she heard someone pick up.

"Well dear, I believe they call it a cathouse." Irene spoke after a moment. "Or a Brothel."

Raven took a deep breath and tried to not yell. "A Brothel? You got me a job at a Brothel."

"I grew up with Lois and she's a dear friend." Irene was talking faster. "She assures me that you will be perfectly fine there. They don't ask the cashier to do tricks you know. You need a special license for that." Irene barely paused in the flow of talking. "You're staying in her granddaughter's apartment and borrowing her car while Theresa tours Europe for the summer."

"Irene," Raven's voice took on a whine even she found annoying. "A Brothel." The place sold sex. Her heart hammered nervously at the thought of it.

"I don't have anywhere else to place you right now." Irene's voice softened. "I really think you need to be there. You can do this Raven. It's just women walking around scantily clad and men taking them to their rooms. You don't even have to see the rest, you won't see what goes on in the rooms."

"I don't want this job."

"Well," Irene's voice lost the soft touch. "That is too bad, because you have it. I didn't want to have to put it this way, but you came to me for help and I'm giving it to you. You need to work at that Brothel, so you will. It isn't forever and you'll never be one of the prostitutes." Raven's eyes narrowed at the order. "You came to me Raven, and if I have to show a little tough love I will. I did raise Rogue after all, and she's a hell of a lot more stubborn than you."

"This isn't what I had in mind when I came to you."

"No, you wanted a series of jobs that let you hide from the world as well as your friends, but I promised to help you Raven, not let you hide from life."

Raven's voice rose. "How the Hell is this helping me?" A cashier in the diner glared at her and Raven turned away from the door and spoke more quietly. "How is this helping?" Her voice was a soft growl. "I can't…"

"You can." Irene's voice was softer, tender. "You can Raven. If you give this place a chance you'll see that you can." Irene sighed. "Honey, just give this a month and if you can't stand another day I'll think of something. You just give me the word and I'll do something, I don't know what, but something. Part of the reason I could talk Lois into taking you on is that her regular cashier needs a vacation to go see his son get married. If you back out now I'll lose my credibility, something a precog really can't afford to do."

"A month." Raven swallowed hard and wiped the sweat from her forehead. It really was a hot day. "A month." Irene rarely asked her for anything. "They'll leave me alone?" She could envision some customer coming in and seeing her, deciding that they wanted to use her, her thoughts trailed off. God, she'd just barely gotten out of becoming a sex slave forever and the idea that someone might think they could use her made her sick.

If it weren't Irene asking she'd just walk away, but she relied on Irene, needed her. If Mystique had told her this Raven wouldn't have even come to Nevada.

"You might be hit on, but nothing serious. There are so many willing women there, ones that are legal."

"That didn't stop anyone from wanting me last time." Raven bowed her head. "The other slaves wanted it, but everyone wanted me."

There was silence over the line for a moment. "You aren't a slave." The silence was tense, Raven didn't know what to say. She knew she wasn't, but sometimes it was hard to remember it. She wasn't really free, being in hiding so that people didn't catch you, that wasn't free. "You aren't. And if you don't want people to touch you, they don't get to. If any customer tries to bother you Lois will toss them out so fast they won't even realize they left before they hit the ground."

"Okay." Raven took a deep breath. "I'll do it." She didn't like how scared she felt and she didn't want to cater to it. To hide. Christy was right, they wanted her broken and she just needed to refuse to break if she wanted to beat this. Irene wasn't really asking too much in exchange for her help, Raven should pay it.

"Thank you child. I won't be around, you caught me on my way out. I'll have to call you in a month, because I won't be back." Irene paused. "Keep an opened mind. It isn't like you imagine it." Raven couldn't promise even that much. She stared out at her car. "You better get going. Lois is expecting you today."

"Talk to you later." Raven said distractedly and then hung up. Her hand stayed on the phone as she stood there for a moment. With a shake of her head Raven turned to her car and pulled her keys back out of her pocket. A whorehouse. This was just great, she thought with heavy sarcasm.

During the rest of the drive there Raven took deep breaths. She didn't want to seem like she didn't want to be there, so she'd have to hide that.

……………

Raven pulled into the parking lot slowly, feeling painfully self conscious as she parked. She could see a man, most likely a customer, glance at her with a bit of surprise on his face before he continued his trek to the front door.

Raven just sat and stared at the one story structure. She'd almost expected a beautiful Victorian home, since on tv they never looked like a strip mall. The parking lot ran along the front of the building, which didn't look at all romantic. The sign on the building made it very clear this was a brothel. At least she wouldn't have walked in still thinking it was a cat breeder's if she'd not figured it out beforehand. Maybe she would have figured it out sooner if she'd remembered that this sort of thing was legal around here.

With a heavy sigh Raven picked up her papers and got out of the car. It didn't look very busy yet, so at least she wouldn't run into a bunch of customers. The door was closed and the small sign made it clear you didn't just walk right in. Raven pushed the doorbell and heard the buzz inside as she did it.

To her credit the woman opening the door didn't show any surprise to see a woman standing there. "Hello." The middle aged slightly overweight woman in business casual clothes smiled at her. "Come right in." The door opened. "You're in luck, some of our more… versatile women are working today."

"Ah," In spite of her wish to remain calm Raven's blush was quickly overtaking her face. "I'm here to see Lois, about a job… a bookkeeping type of job." She added when the woman at the door started too look at her a little too closely. "Are you Lois?"

"No, I'm Lexi. I cover the early shift." Lexi's voice rose. "Nevermind girls." And Raven heard some shuffling in the hall. "Lois isn't here yet. It's doctor day and she took a few ladies into town. She should be back," Lexi checked her watch, "in maybe forty five minutes or an hour. At least before my shift ends in an hour and a half." Lexi gave her a small smile. "Ever work in a brothel before?"

Well, lying about it wouldn't work. Raven just shook her head no. This job was apparently locked in, so she wasn't too worried about admitting that, and hey if they decided they couldn't use her Raven could check out the bars on the strip or something. A small spark of hope filled her heart after that thought, but she ruthlessly crushed it. She knew she wasn't going to find a way out of this month.

"Well, if you'd like to wait you could…" Lexi looked thoughtful. "I can't really send you into the bar, not when we have some customers there." Lexi muttered quietly. "I'll take you to the kitchen."

Raven almost opened her mouth and said she could come back later, but Lexi was already in motion. Raven followed the woman through a maze of halls and did her best to pretend seeing women walking around barely dressed didn't remind her of the Hellfire club. At least the softer looking pinks and blues and the lacy teddy's and see through robes were different than the more powerful appearance of the Hellfire clubs mistresses' attire.

One young looking girl gave her a friendly smile as she passed her and Raven gave her a tentative smile back. No these women weren't at all like the others. It was just Raven's imagination. Her fists unclenched and she returned another friendly smile as they reached the door to the kitchen. Glancing down at her own full pants and shirt Raven felt a bit out of place. It really did set her as different from the others. Good. The customers would have to know she wasn't a prostitute, because it was pretty obvious around here which women were and weren't.

The woman cooking was fully dressed as well. "Martha." Lexi spoke and the grandmotherly looking woman turned to look at them. "This is…" Lexi looked at Raven curiously. "I'm sorry dear, I didn't ask your name."

"I'm Raven." Raven addressed both women and noticed a few other working women glancing her way from a table, where they were clearly getting a very late lunch.

Lexi smiled at her gently before turning back to Martha. "Raven here is waiting to talk to Lois and I thought she could wait in here."

"Sounds fine." Martha nodded and turned at the sound of a buzzer. "Sorry ladies, I need to take care of that." The cook went back to work in the kitchen part of the large room. Along other walls were diner type booths and a few curious eyes.

"Well, I need to get back to the office." Alexi looked a little apologetic at leaving Raven here. "But I'm sure Lois will be back in about an hour. You could go ahead and have lunch if you're hungry. It'll be on the house." Yes, back in an hour. Funny how the precog thought Raven should hurry up to get here if Lois wasn't even here, Raven thought a little bitterly.

"How come she warrants a free meal?" A deep teasing voice came from the tables. "Granted she sure is a pretty one, a little overdressed, but pretty."

"Ah." Raven turned to look at the woman with long black hair and a slight smile. This woman was wearing a black halter top and very short shorts. A little conservative for a prostitute from what Raven had seen, but clearly a prostitute. She didn't want to insult the group of five prostitutes by rushing to explain she wasn't planning to do their type of work, but she didn't want anyone to think for a second that she was. The other women at the two filled tables were staring at her.

"Raven here is applying to be our substitute cashier." Alexi spoke up. "Aren't you dear? I thought I heard Lois saying something about that."

"Yes. Bookkeeping." A few of the prostitutes looked a bit friendlier at that. The intense scrutiny in their eyes faded.

"So I'll just leave you here and I'll let Lois know you're here as soon as she gets back." Lexi moved a little faster when a buzzer sounded.

"I hope this one doesn't stink." Someone muttered and Raven's jaw clenched, "The last customer I had almost made me throw up with the stench. Is it really too much to ask that these guys shower? It had to have been months since he… ugh.."

"She's not talking about you." The dark-haired one grinned at her and moved further into the booth. "You can sit down." Another buzzer sounded and the girl that had been complaining about stench got up with a sigh.

"I'll keep your meal for you." Martha called out as the woman left, her black silk robe flowing behind her.

"Thanks Martha."

"She's one of the women on shift right now." The woman that had offered her a seat spoke and Raven moved to take the seat across from her now that they'd be the only ones at that particular table. "I'm Drahke."

"Raven." Raven's eyes trailed to the other table, with more women at it. It looked like she was being ignored, but she'd bet money anything she said here would be heard and repeated. The slight tilt to a few heads made it clear to someone used to looking for it that they were trying to listen in.

"So," Drahke smiled at her a little predatorily, "ever work in a brothel before?"

…………….

With another sigh Raven shifted a little and looked up at her subject. The cook was slowly taking form on the small sketch pad that Raven always had with her, not that the busy cook realized it. Drahke's short interrogation had ended with little really being said before the prostitutes friend came back and wanted to drag Drahke away to do something. Raven at least was happy with being able to deflect the questions thrown at her, it was a skill Raven was fast developing and one that the Professor had always wanted her to have. Tessa use to be able…

Raven sighed and pushed the thoughts of their joint training away and concentrated on the shape of Martha's jawline, lightly sketching it onto the page.

The door to the kitchen opened and Raven looked up to see a thin, grey haired woman in a smart grey business suit come in and watched the way intelligent and blue eyes caught Raven and seemed to soften. This woman was powerful and the smile was comforting. "Raven?" Raven nodded. "Irene told me you'd be here today. I'm sorry I wasn't expecting you until later. I'm Lois."

The stray thought about Lois' being a powerful woman grabbed Raven's attention. Did she need that now? Why did she look for that? She didn't like what it said about her that she felt some of her tension fade when the woman Irene said was her protector here looked like she could do the job, that she'd looked for that indication immediately. She never was as aware of anyone's personal power before she was captured. She never used to measure herself against the people she met to determine her pecking order.

"Raven?" It was clear from the look on Lois' face that it wasn't the first time she'd called Raven's name.

"I'm sorry." Raven smile politely. "I get so caught up in my art sometimes it takes me a minute to really pull out of it." It was an excuse that she'd tried once before with Ororo, when Raven had been suddenly struck dumb by the realization that the weather goddess was willing to pose naked if Raven just asked, and Raven found herself wanting to ask. At least this time it wasn't accompanied with an embarrassed blush and a knowing look aimed at her.

Lois walked closer and glanced down at the pad on the table. "That's Martha." Lois smiled and looked back up at Raven. "Can I?" A hand reached out toward the sketch pad. Raven blushed a little and handed her partly done sketch over. She rarely let people see half done work, but it seemed rude to tell her future boss and Irene's friend no. "That's amazing. Martha." Lois' voice raised. "You've got to see what Raven's been working on."

A brief memory of her mother came to her, back when her mother was proud of her and Raven clenched her fist under the table as the older woman gushed over a mere sketch.

"Irene didn't tell me you were an artist." Lois slide into the seat across from Raven with a smile and set the pad down as Martha went back to work with a smile and a nod. "You'll be very popular if the girls find out." The smile faded a little and Raven sat up straighter, knowing this was business now.

"Thank you for taking me in." Regardless of how she felt about it, this was a favor.

"Don't worry about it." Lois waved it away as if it were nothing. "The learning curve is going to be rough. The girls are their own challenge and you'll have to figure out how to deal with that yourself. What I need are accurate records of what is being brought in, accuracy is the key." That sounded like a warning.

"I can do that." Raven nodded.

"Do you have a lot of work experience? Other than running around in spandex?" Lois asked softly and Raven jerked back in shock. The older woman's eyes were staring right at her. Irene told her?

"Ah… I was a bartender. When I was younger I worked in fast food." Her real resume was truly pathetic for this job. "I've studied a lot of different things, but…" it would have been nearly impossible to hold a job and get pulled away for a week here or there for missions. The Professor talked like they should all have a career to fall back on, encouraged them to get degrees, but really Raven came out of that school with little in the way of marketable skills.

"I see." Lois sighed and didn't look thrilled. "Well, Irene seems to think you're very bright and she doesn't say that about many people, so we'll make the best of it. Things tend to get hectic around here and you need to be able to do at least five things at once when its like that." And with that slight resignation in Lois' voice Raven felt a wave of embarrassment and inadequacy. She pushed it aside and sat straighter, looking into Lois' eyes.

"I can do this." She hated it when people didn't expect much of her. Lois probably didn't intend her words to be a challenge, but Raven grasped onto it fiercely. She would do this. It wasn't like math was that hard. Fast food had been hectic, running for your life in a battle was hectic. She could handle this.

After a measuring glance and a slight smirk the older woman nodded. "Well, let me show you the office before it gets too busy. Jonathan will be in later and he can show you how we track everyone's money." Raven followed Lois out of the kitchen while putting her sketch pad back in her purse. It was time to start working at a brothel. She just sighed quietly and remembered to nod politely at the few women that gave her a curious look as Lois led her to the office.

………….

"Shh." Raven heard the loud shushing just outside the office door, which remained open, but she didn't see anyone there. "The square is in her cage and you don't want to wake her." The sultry teasing voice was familiar. "The square is a creature of habit, shy and beautiful, but elusive as hell."

"Is it dangerous?" A second voice fake whispered and Raven just shook her head at the teasing as she pretended to be paying more attention to the ledger.

"It may be, few have seen it so there is no record on its no doubt extremely weird feeding and mating habits."

Raven finally sat up and turned to face the doorway again, where two women were staring at her. "What is a square?" She finally had to ask. She'd been called that too often; of course this was the strangest way she'd been called that in the week she'd worked in the office.

"You are." Drahke moved in front of her friend Jewel and slid into Lois' empty chair so gracefully. "The much talked about and rarely seen square of the Kitten Ranch."

"It means you aren't in the industry." Jewel was so young looking, but then she seemed to play that up. What was more upsetting is that a twenty two year old dressing and looking like a sixteen year old got so much business here. It disturbed Raven to look at such a youthful face and know what she did with those pink lips and she did know. Irene failed to mention the intercom system that Raven had to listen in on during negotiations, where the customers told the girls exactly what they wanted to do to them and got quotes for the services. She was still getting used to that. "You know, you don't sell sex, and never have."

"Or have you?" Drahke smirked at her. "Any little secrets you want to share? Everyone is dying to know."

"No, no ones ever paid me for it." Raven did her best to not flinch as she remembered men paying someone else to use her. She found herself often thinking of that here. How could these women do this job? Did it haunt them, or did they just count their money and smile? She'd seen them smiling after a good negotiation.

"Giving it away for free, for shame." Drahke leaned forward a little and the halter top really highlighted her cleavage. "Anyone you're giving it away to now? Some boyfriend?"

"No." Raven cleared her throat and glanced down at the sketch she'd been working on. It was a painfully slow night and if the prostitutes weren't working she didn't have a lot to do. The books were still Jonathan's alone and she was just supposed to track transactions. It sounded so very normal, if you didn't think about what the transactions were.

Drahke obviously looked at the sketch of Christy that Raven was working on, taking in the form because the details weren't there yet. "girlfriend?"

"Not anymore." Strangely she thought of Christy when she said that too, not just Tessa.

"Oh." Jewel gave her a sympathetic look. "broke up?"

"Yeah."

"So you're gay?" Jewel still pressed and Raven felt like she'd said enough. Still these two were the nicest people she worked with, other than the madams.

"Yeah."

"not to mention so talkative." Drahke sighed. "You know this would go a lot better if you said more than a word at a time. Why don't you come out of this hole and have cake with us. It's Chanel's going away party and you need to show the others you don't have a stick up your ass."

"What if someone comes?"

"Someone is always coming around here." Drahke smirked. "Oh you mean to the door? Don't worry about it, if we have to line up you'll know."

There was no polite way to get out of going now so Raven stood up, feeling like the stranger at a family get together and moved to leave.

"Oh, we have to bring this." Drahke grabbed her sketch pad. "The others will drool when they see we have an artist. Maybe you can trade art for sexual favors." Jewel laughed as Raven blushed.

"So what do you think I should charge? A portrait for head?" Raven finally gave in and went there with them. "Or maybe a full nude portrait in oil paints for an orgy? How would I ever report that transaction in the ledger?"

Drahke chuckled. "Kid, maybe you'll be okay here after all. Come on, they think you're afraid we bite, and really if you don't pay extra we don't. That's part of our kinky services rate." Hands gently pressed on Raven's shoulder blades as if she really needed to be pushed out of the office and into the party. "Oh and I'd bite you for an oil painting."

"She's robbing you," Jewel teased. "That's worth at least an hour fantasy session with two girls."

"I haven't seen your paintings yet, it might even be worth…" The teasing continued all the way into the kitchen, getting more and more graphic as they went. Raven found herself finally relaxing into it and wondered how this blatant sexual teasing managed to do that when she was still so uncomfortable with what they sold here.

Drahke was right about the sketch book. Raven had never felt so welcome as when the others found out she was an artist. It was almost a little intimidating how quickly the attitudes changed when they wanted something from her. Drahke just winked at her and smiled, like she'd just performed some cute trick.

……………

The parlor was full of women between work, because the men hadn't started to appear yet. Raven sat back in the chair and tried to be as subtle as possible about the fact that she was drawing Drahke playing poker with Jewel. It was still rather new for her to be out among everyone and she hated when people tried to stand behind her and watch her work.

Drahke always wore black and more than most of the women working here. Her long black hair fell to the middle of her back and her smile seemed confident and strong as she won another hand. Raven moved to try and capture that confidence as quickly as she could on the page.

The buzz made her grimace as she quickly got up and moved to leave the parlor before the customer was let in. Other women were quickly cleaning up poker games or other small distractions.

With barely a glance toward the door Raven quickly made it to the office not wanting to see a customer in person. It was bad enough she had to listen to their negotiations, she didn't need to see them too.

"I really want to see…" The deep voice of the customer came over the intercom he most likely didn't realize was there in the room. "two girls, ya know." He was telling Lace this and Raven just sighed, knowing now that Lace was going to have to go pull another woman into this and Raven would be stuck listening to more negotiations before a price was reached and she could stop listening.

"Lemme see if Ebony is available."

"Is she really named Ebony?" The man asked and Raven rolled her eyes. No she was not, Ebony was Hayley, but it wasn't like it was a smart idea to tell customers real names. Most of the prostitutes didn't know each others real names, but since Raven did the bookkeeping she had to see it in print at least. She never made the mistake of using those names.

"Hey Raven," A voice at the office door drew her attention and Raven glanced at Drahke for just a moment, before she heard over the intercom that Lace was back with her customer.

"I'm working." Raven held up a hand, hoping to catch a quick price on this. She didn't care for the haggling, and found herself feeling insulted at times for the women if a man quoted something way too low. Drahke moved to sit in the vacant chair quietly and Raven just sighed and nibbled on the end of her pen as she waited for a deal to put in the ledger. Ebony proved to be even better at negotiations than Lace, which earned both women a decent price for pretending to actually want each others touch.

Emma had really wanted Tessa's touch. It had been beautiful watching both women… Raven slammed the ledger closed, hating the thought and the memory. Fine, it was beautiful, two women that attractive would be beautiful doing almost anything, but did Christy have to like it so much, was it just Christy that had liked it? Was it just a job for Tessa or did Raven's love actually want to touch the White Queen? Raven felt like her heart couldn't handle the thought of Tessa performing like Ebony and Lace were about to. Better if Tessa wanted Emma, even if it hurt Raven, better if Tessa wanted her. Emma had seemed protective of Tessa. Raven's heart ached at the thought that perhaps Tessa had a lover and had had one for a while. All that time apart Raven had been carefully faithful, saving herself, and for what? To be raped and cast aside? Finally being with Tessa lacked so much of what Raven had wanted from the experience, and even through Christy's controlling nearly the entire thing Raven still never got to touch the woman that had held her heart for so very long. Raven doubted that Emma had been denied that, that she could be denied anything, yet Emma hadn't seemed interested in touching Raven, so perhaps Emma never had reciprocated with Tessa.

"You okay?" Drahke's voice interrupted Raven and Raven snapped out of her thoughts and started to pull out Lace and Ebony's files to record their latest income, as well as the time.

"Fine. What do you need?" Raven could hear her own anger just under the surface and took a deep breath to try and push it away again as she watched Drahke pick up the sketch Raven had been working on earlier and studied it.

"I was wondering if you do commissions and how much that might cost?" Drahke studied the half done drawing again. "You paint?"

"Yeah, but that takes a lot a while and I'd need to you sit still far longer than we ever get here."

Lace carefully moved around Drahke in the small office to hand over the payment while Drahke waited for Raven to record it patiently. "So I'm about to get some pussy. How long has it been for you?" Lace teased, but it wasn't funny. Raven just stared at her until the blonde clearly felt uncomfortable. "Well, I better get going."

"Yeah." Raven's voice was a little deeper with her irritation.

Drahke's eyes followed Lace out the door and then turned to Raven again. "If looks could kill I'd need to send a replacement up to her room for her john. You wounded that one."

Raven just sighed and glanced at the sketchpad in Drahke's hand again. "I don't even have my paints or supplies anymore. It's been months since I painted anything." The thought of pulling out paints helped to improve her mood a bit. "What kind of pose are you thinking?"

"Something classy."

Raven stared harder at Drahke, taking in the woman's curves and angles of her face, the draping of her hair, and could see classy there. A wardrobe change, Raven found herself imagining a few different ideas and was excited by the challenge. Maybe she could get a drop clothe and some supplies and set up in her apartment. She'd need lights…

"Raven are you staring at me because you'll do it or are you thinking of shopping where you work, because your eyes are really getting to me, staring at me like that."

"If you pay for supplies and dinner you could come over to my apartment when your shift ends."

"Giving it away for practically free." Drahke shook her head. "Do you learn nothing when you listen in to us negotiate? While I'd love to take advantage of you, you do realize you're being stupid." Drahke gave Raven a slight smirk. "How about this, I'll bring dinner and pay for your supplies. I'll also have you show off your work here for a few days and I'll negotiate your prices for the other girls when they come begging for you to paint them. I'll take a thirty percent cut of the selling price I get for you." Drahke was one of the best paid prostitutes around the Kitten Ranch, and while she was attractive and had a loyal clientele, Raven knew some of it was her good business sense.

This was a shift from her normally just being grateful to find a model willing to stay still long enough for a sitting. Actually paid for it. Raven nibbled on her lower lip as she considered how it would be nice to develop a little bit of savings, just in case things got ugly later or her next identity came with an even lower paying job. "Deal."

"I've got three more days left of my shift, then I want to sleep for at least a day or two to get rid of the bags under my eyes." Raven didn't see any bags there. "You don't live in town do you?"

"No, I'm staying about forty minutes out."

"Good, then we don't have to worry about the no prostitutes allowed in town rules." The buzzer sounded, letting them know that another customer was calling. Raven glanced at the clock and figured the slow time was about over, it was normally busier after dinnertime. "You have plans for Wednesday night?"

"No."

"You do now." Drahke slipped out the door to line up. Raven felt more than a little awkward listening to Drahke negotiate with her client a few minutes later, but she carefully wrote the transaction in the ledger and charged the credit card Drahke brought her from the client regardless. Master the possibilities indeed, Raven thought with a little sarcasm as she handed the Mastercard back to Drahke. He was paying money for Drahke to treat him like a slave. He was actually paying money for that, a lot. Who would want that? Raven did her best to not flinch away from Drahke's hands when the dark haired woman went to take the card back. After Drahke left Raven leaned back in the chair and closed the door for some privacy. It wasn't like Drahke wanted to be a mistress, she was being paid. It wasn't like she'd want a slave of her own. Raven felt more than a little shaky thinking about the fact that Drahke was coming to her apartment now, that they'd be alone.

……………..


	22. Hellfire 2 Part 3

500 Miles: Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

"You planning a party?" The voice called from the kitchen as Raven was carefully draping a rich burgundy cloth over the bed, setting the scene for the pose Drahke had described to her. Classy and laying down could be done and it would tire her model out less than sitting or standing in a pose for too long.

"Just you." Raven's voice was just a little puzzled, but her focus was more on the art. She could put Drahke and the now more seductive looking bed on the canvas first and maybe go find a more romantic room to paint into the background, because this room wasn't going to fit with the rest of it at all. "Why?" She asked as she fussed with the draping of the cloth, trying to make the shadows more interesting and knowing she'd need to adjust it once her model laid on it.

"No reason." Drahke's voice was softer and Raven glanced at the bedroom door to see the woman leaning against the door watching her, while drinking a wine cooler. Drahke had a silky black dress on and her hair was done with care, she looked classy and while she was wearing a lot more than Raven had ever seen her in, Raven found Drahke sexier that way. Why men didn't appreciate a well dressed woman, why they drooled over the tacky lingerie that the prostitutes wore didn't make sense to Raven. "I just had a selection to pick from." The wine cooler was lifted a little to indicate she was talking about the alcohol.

"I just didn't know what you liked." Raven felt a hint of a blush color her face in embarrassment. "I did a stint as a bartender you know. Just wanted to cover all my bases." Drahke was looking at her a little too carefully and Raven forced her attention back to the work at hand, feeling a little uncomfortable with the fact that the selection in the fridge was actually hers. She needed to drink more to sleep lately, the sounds she would overhear at the brothel mixed with her nightmares to make them more vivid again. "Holding a pose for a while can be a bit uncomfortable. I was thinking of having you on your side and I'll drag the living room pillows out to help prop you up." Raven had never realized how tiring posing for long could be when she used to make Tessa do it daily for her, but Tessa never complained and never seemed to get bored. It wasn't until Raven started having Jean pose for her that she found out that models needed more breaks than she used to give Tessa.

After more fussing and Drahke's amused expression when Raven took it upon herself to adjust Drahke's pose, gently moving a hip back or an arm forward, they were ready to work. "What radio station would you like?" Raven moved to where she'd set up the easel to study the view she had again. Drahke looked more like a very strong woman, her pose showed off her attributes well, and her body language indicated power. It was perfect. Raven's hand itched to grab her supplies and start working, but she had to make sure her model was comfortable. "I'm not the best conversationalist when I'm working." Raven said apologetically.

"Some soft classical would put me in the mood." Drahke's grin was slightly wicked. "I have some CD's in my purse." Drahke seemed to be about to shift.

"No, no don't move. You're perfect, I don't want to have to…" Raven protested quickly.

"Perfect." Drahke smiled. "Well, I wouldn't want to ruin that. You could grab my purse and get them. I forgot about it."

"No problem." Raven found the black clutch purse on her kitchen counter and opened it to find the two CD's practically falling out, they'd been stuffed in when they'd barely fit. She was a little ashamed that she hadn't assumed Drahke would like music like that. A card fell out of the purse as Raven pulled the CD's out and Raven bent down to pick it up.

The tan business card was expensive looking, the bold words Lady Heather's Dominion stared up at Raven, Raven stared harder as she picked it up, taking in the whip used as a line under the title and above the subtitle, A discrete BDSM venue. "Ah." Raven quickly shoved the card back into Drahke's purse and closed it. She took a step towards the fridge for a beer of her own, but had to stop herself. She didn't want to try to do art partly drunk, and while one drink wouldn't do that, she'd probably open another after it. "Shit." She whispered, embarrassed at having seen the card.

"Did you find them?" Drahke yelled out, forcing Raven to start down the hall.

"Yep." Raven didn't look at Drahke as she came into the room, she focused on the stereo, and setting up the music. The soothing sounds helped her calm down. With a forced smile she turned to Drahke. "This will take more than one sitting." More than one day alone together.

"That's fine. I have a night job, so if we did this in the afternoon, before your shift even?" Drahke's face was expressive when she talked, clearly in thought, a little unsure. Raven started to work, placing the bed and the subject on the canvas.

"That's fine." Raven sighed. "What kind of job?" She found herself asking, rather than trying to ignore it and hope it went away.

Drahke was quiet for a moment and Raven could see the woman seeming to hold herself more stiffly. "I work at a club in the city on my off weeks from the Brothel."

Raven found the paints a good excuse to not look at Drahke as she asked questions. She mixed her colors as she spoke. "You already make more in a week than I do in two months."

"I thought you didn't do talking and working very well." Drahke smiled, but Raven got the sense it was fake.

"You better get talking out of your system while you can, when I start doing your face you won't be able to." Raven smiled back.

"Doing my face?" Drahke chuckled, "Honey, we didn't negotiate that. I'm just here for the art." Raven blushed. "So are you really religious, or just believe prostitution is morally wrong?"

"What?" Raven stopped mixing paint and looked up at Drahke. Good move, pulling the conversation away from her second job, but a little too obvious. Raven didn't really want to have this conversation either. "No, I'm not religious." Raven paused as she thought about the other question. "And I'd never really thought about it until I got here." The timing for her stint at the Brothel wasn't the best. She knew she would have seemed more opened minded a year ago. "It isn't like anyone is forcing you to do that."

"I don't have a pimp and never will. I work hard for my money and I'm not sharing it with a man that does nothing more than push me to work more hours and make more money." Drahke's words came a little faster in annoyance. "Why any woman would fall for that trap, I don't get it." Raven focused very hard on her mixing of a nice skin tone for the woman, surprised at the emotion in Drahke's voice about this accidental topic. "I have my own plans for my money, thank you very much."

"Plans?" Raven had been outmaneuvered yet again and the topic of conversation she'd wanted was truly dead now. This was probably another reason she wasn't made a spy. She'd have to wait longer to find out if Drahke was really a Mistress.

"When you drove up to the Brothel, didn't you expect something a little more elegant, like in the movies? A beautiful Victorian house?" Drahke had a very subtle smile as she thought about it and Raven could see a sparkle in her eyes. "Some place that gentleman came for company for the evening, not stinky men that nearly made you gasp for air if you got close to them." Drahke moved a little, as subjects tended to do, but Raven didn't see it ruined the pose too badly. "I want to open a Brothel in a place like that, one that specializes in a certain type of clientele and a specific type of working girl. Specialize enough to charge more, a lot more." Drahke looked at her. "That's why I'm working so hard. I want to run a place like that, do the business end of it all. I'm not going to be working on my back forever you know."

"How are you going to specialize?" Raven asked as she finished mixing her last color of paint.

"Much more exotic girls." Drahke's answer seemed evasive and Raven could have pursued it, but she was ready to paint now.

"Try not to move anymore, I'm ready to paint." Raven picked up her brush and studied Drahke's pose again. "Tell me if you need a break, I sometimes forget to check." Drahke took one deep breath and talking was over as Raven did her best to capture the woman on canvas as quickly as she could. This would take a few days at a couple hours a day, but she needed a good start to work from.

When Drahke left for that night job Raven set up another sitting for that Friday, before she had to go to work. She wanted to get this done for Drahke as quickly as possible, since she didn't know how long she'd be staying in town. As was, she wasn't sure she could finish it before the month was up.

She could have all the models she wanted if she stayed longer. Raven sighed as she sat down on the couch for a moment, before going to clean up the bedroom. It was very tempting to stay now that she had models and art supplies. When she left she'd have to leave the easel and other things behind. Anything she couldn't carry had to stay behind, that was the rules.

…………………..

It was dark when she got home from the Brothel and Raven tossed her purse on the couch as she made her way to the fridge. She'd woken up early, painted Drahke for a few hours, and then put in a full day at the Brothel. Raven thought she might not even have trouble sleeping, or at least not a lot. One deep drink of the beer was all she managed before the phone rang. A quick glance at the hour showed it was after two in the morning. Hopefully it wasn't Irene telling her to run. With that possibility she had to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Oh, thank god you're there." Drahke's voice sounded a little frazzled. "Raven I need a huge favor, my car broke down and I'm stranded at the club."

"The club." Raven repeated stupidly as it sank in that Drahke wanted her to go there. They still hadn't talked about what type of club that was. "Where are you?" Maybe it wasn't the bdsm club, maybe that card was just a coincidence.

"Lady Heather's Dominion." Drahke answered and ruined Raven's little delusion. "Please, I'm not really dressed to take a cab. This had to happen on a day where I didn't have a change of clothes on me. I left my bag at your apartment." Raven glanced around and noticed the bag in question. She'd had to leave while Drahke was getting ready for work and had just asked the woman to lock up.

"Okay, where is it. Give me directions." Raven pulled out some paper and started writing. It was the please that helped her reservations.

It took almost an hour to find the club and it didn't look like a club from the outside, it looked like a mansion. Raven knew it wouldn't have a large sign proclaiming it a BDSM club, the Hellfire club hadn't either. All the decadence and perversion would be hidden in a ordinary, although in this case expensive looking wrapper. With a heavy sigh she grabbed Drahke's bag and change of clothes and stepped out of the car. Her heart was beating a little too fast as she walked across the empty parking lot towards the door, memories of sneaking into a different club haunted her. She'd been following Tessa in at that time, worried about what type of mission would take her lover away from her for years, jealous, stupid, overconfident, she'd walked into Hell willingly, believing she wouldn't get burned.

She pushed the doorbell and stood patiently holding Drahke's bag in front of her. When the door opened to reveal Drahke Raven found herself staring. Leather pants and straps of leather that supposedly served as a top covered Drahke, the woman's hair was up in a ponytail and was held in place by more leather. Not the lace Mistresses that Raven was used to, but the tall heeled shoes were familiar. "Ah…" Raven held out the bag. "I brought your change of clothes." Raven's eyes turned down to stare at Drahke's knees as she held out the bag.

"So this is your artist friend?" Another voice spoke, sounding a bit curious. Raven glanced up to see another leather clad woman standing just behind a puzzled looking Drahke. Drahke finally reached out to take the bag Raven had been holding out.

"Yes, Raven this is Lady Heather, the owner of the club. Lady Heather, this is Raven Johnson." Raven felt a small hint of guilt being introduced with that fake name, but it didn't show.

"It looks as if your training was a little too complete." Lady Heather gave her a small smile. "Slave right?"

A blush came to her face and Raven took in a soft gasp of air as she stared at the ground. Don't look at me like that, Selene's angry yell resounded in her head. Training was far too complete if she couldn't be here a minute before people noticed. "I'm not a slave." Her voice was soft, protesting quietly. She could feel eyes on her and her body shook a little. She was too tired to hide it. "Change so we can go." She looked up at Drahke.

"It's just a half hour to my place."

"Change." Raven's voice was a little harsher. She couldn't drive with a Mistress in the car. Drahke had to leave that here.

"You can use my office to change if you'd like. I'll keep Raven company." Lady Heather spoke softly, but it sounded like a command, and Drahke left Raven alone on the doorstep with this woman. "Come in, it will take her a little while to work her way out of the leather." Raven eyed Lady Heather and took in the change in the woman's stance, the less in control, less intimidating way she held her body as if to say she was no threat.

Raven's ears strained to hear screams or whips in the building as she stepped in, but there was nothing. "We've been closed for over an hour." Lady Heather spoke as she moved to stand beside Raven in the lobby of sorts. The brunette Mistress stared at Raven too hard. "Who hurt you so little one?" Lady Heather asked softly and Raven almost believed she imagined it, but the woman was watching her with a softness in her eyes that took Raven by surprise. "You were a slave, and yet you can barely stand to look at us in our work clothes." It was a comment, not a question.

Raven glanced around the well decorated room, "You have a nice place." She ignored the question. "Classy."

"Do you want to see the rest of it?" Lady Heather asked and Raven tensed up and took a small step toward the front door. "Or perhaps not." Raven noticed that Lady Heather didn't take a step towards her, just stared at her. "You've been in a place like this before, but your Mistress was cruel, very cruel."

"Don't." Raven nervously looked in the direction that Drahke had gone. "Are you a mutant?" The words were a subtle threat, just suggesting someone was a mutant would be bad for business, "You act like you read minds." And yet no one would be able to read hers.

"And you are rather desperate to not talk about this. I understand." Lady Heather just gave her a small smile. "No, I'm not a mutant, just a student of human nature. Your body language screams your story." There was a pause and the tone of Lady Heather's voice changed to a more casual one. "So Drahke tells me you are painting her."

"Yeah." Raven clung onto the more innocent topic. "It's been quite a few months since I've painted so it's taking me longer. She's been really patient about it."

"She also told me that you were going to have to do some creative background work, that you needed a different bedroom to paint in."

"Well, she's trying to go for classy and powerful, and my bedroom is just not there." Raven thought about the books she'd been looking through at the library trying to find something close to what she wanted, even though painting from a picture wasn't as good, she was getting desperate. The subject, being Drahke, was almost complete and she'd need to do the background soon.

"I have a room that might work. It has burgundy in the trim, Drahke told me you were using that color heavily." Raven glanced toward the hallway. "No, while there are rooms here that would work, I was thinking of my guest room. I have my private rooms a little further from the play areas. If you'd like you could come over and look at the room in the daylight and have lunch." Raven hesitated. "And I could see your work. Drahke's been trying to talk me into commissioning something."

"Oh, her taste is beautiful." Drahke's voice interrupted them and Raven noticed the jeans and tshirt with some relief. "One of the rooms here would be so perfect." Well, with her model wanting it, Raven couldn't really refuse to at least look.

"Okay, I'll take a look." She looked back at Lady Heather, "but you don't have to bother with lunch."

"I want to." Lady Heather stood a little taller, the Mistress in her back. Raven just nodded. "Come for Sunday Brunch, that's well before the naughty boys start coming over, it should be more comfortable for you then."

"Yes, Mis… Ma'am." Raven's fist clenched, embarrassed at her slip.

"I'll call the garage in the morning." Drahke moved to the door, kindly ignoring the slip. "Hopefully my car isn't too messed up."

"What did it do?" Raven asked as she moved to follow Drahke out. When Drahke explained the problem Raven glanced at the car in question. "Probably the starter. I could fix that."

"Oh no. You aren't risking your artist's hands now." Lady Heather's voice was a little bit of a surprise. The woman was following them out. "I'll just have Stan take care of it for you Drahke. He owes me, just leave me your keys."

The drive to Drahke's apartment was strangely quiet. Raven could see the woman was deep in thought. "I'll pick you up around ten Sunday." Drahke told her as she was getting out of the car. She looked at Raven a little too long, before saying goodbye.

………………

It was a nice morning, not too hot yet. Raven grabbed a novel and went outside to sit in the small garden the apartment complex had and read. She couldn't sleep anymore and wasn't in the mood to draw or be inside any longer. Maybe later she could look into finding a gym to join. When Irene called her, she was going to say she'd be willing to stay. For her art alone it was worth it.

"Get the hell out of here. Get a job or something. I'm sick and tired of supporting a faggot." The angry voice interrupted her reading and Raven stared over at the first level apartment that was clearly the source of this. "Go peddle your ass on the street for all I care, I just don't want you coming back until you have some job, you hear me you lazy good for nothing bastard. Probably aren't even my son. I wouldn't have a faggot for a son." Raven sat up straighter as she watched the door open. From her spot in the yard they most likely didn't notice her. A light skinned African-American boy, who couldn't be more than fourteen came out, his arms and legs lanky as young teenagers tended to be. He moved quickly away from the apartment, radiating tension and pain. She'd seen that boy around a few times.

When she started back to her apartment ten minutes later, because she couldn't relax when she was hoping to spot the asshole that would treat his son that way, she notice the boy standing in the parking lot. A job? Who would hire a kid that age? Who would suggest this boy sell his body? Raven gripped her book more tightly in her hand and moved to her apartment. Her eyes strayed to the boy again as she closed the door and felt the air conditioning caress her skin. It had started to get too warm outside.

She showered and was dressed and ready to go when Drahke came to get her for that brunch with Lady Heather. Her eyes lingered on the teenager as he walked along the street towards the store.

"My mother kicked me out of the house when she found out things about me she didn't like." She spoke softly as she watched the boy walk in front of them at the stoplight.

"I had a similar problem." Drahke spoke after a moment. "Didn't help that her boyfriend was looking at me like I was on the menu."

"I'd bet you a hundred dollars that boy is gonna be homeless before the end of the summer." Raven sighed as she watched him, remembering her own mother yelling about how her only child was a god damn mutant and a faggot. One wasn't bad enough she had to be both.

"Yeah, my mom's boyfriend sure didn't help the situation either." He'd been a raving anti-mutant, homophobic asshole.

"Did he touch you?" Drahke's fist seemed to clench on the steering wheel harder. Raven turned away from watching her neighbor boy to stare at her.

"No," Raven watched Drahke seem to relax and started to see that the woman did care about her. "But I… I don't have a problem with you being a prostitute, it's just that…" Raven stopped talking, unsure about telling, but hating that Drahke seemed to think Raven was being judgmental, and how she'd treated the woman at that club wasn't good. "I was captured a few months ago, and I just… I just really have a tough time with sex, hearing about it, thinking about it." Drahke's eyes widened and she swerved a little in the lane before covering up her reaction. "I was theirs for a week, and I still can't sleep."

"Oh god Baby." Drahke pulled off the street and into the grocery store parking lot. "Oh Raven." Drahke turned to look at her. "I was afraid it was something like that, but I never thought…"

"They were all so powerful. I… I'm still not safe. I have to run. When the phone rings I worry it's the call that tells me I have to run again."

"The police?"

"You don't report people like this. Rich, powerful people. Telepaths that could make it all go away. There was no way to…" Raven's voice cracked. She moved her hand to press on her forehead, to rub it angrily. "I can't stop them, and the only person I trusted to protect me from shit like that told me to never tell anyone. He was like a fucking dad to me, and he told me…" Her eyes welled up with tears.

Drahke reached out and touched her gently, caressed her arm. "I've got you honey." Drahke pulled Raven into a hug. Raven was horrified that she was breaking down like this. She didn't know Drahke well enough to cry on her, but she did.

Jean would have told her that she must have sensed something she could trust in Drahke. Raven wondered if it was that she just hadn't sleep well for too many nights in a row.

"Do you hate mutants for that?" Drahke asked quietly while holding Raven gently, after the tears had stopped.

"No." Raven chuckled, but it wasn't funny. She looked up at Drahke and watched the woman slowly guess. "My powers are so useless and weak." She waited tensely to be rejected. It was better to find out now, than after she agreed to stay a few more months.

"I breathe fire." Drahke gave her a small smile and glanced around before blowing gently out. A small flame appeared and then disappeared.

Raven stared at where the flame had been for a moment, before focusing on Drahke's face again. Her shoulder's tension eased as she stared at her friend. Mutant, she hadn't seen that one coming. A small chuckled escaped her lips at how she could know someone, start getting closer to someone, and they just didn't know something that important about each other because it was something dangerous to admit to. "I sense death, take in energy from it." They could have known each other for years and never admitted to being mutants if Raven didn't have a way out in case it went bad. "It isn't very useful in a battle, or for self defense." She'd been told that so many times when she was being left behind. Scott was more guilty of that than Ororo, but both leaders obviously thought about it before bringing Raven with them into the field.

A noise drew their attention to the other cars in the parking lot, then Drahke started the car up again. "Heather is still waiting for us. Do you still want to go?" Drahke glanced at her and Raven saw that Drahke would let her out of this if she wanted out.

"She's expecting us." Raven sat up straighter. "I do want to make a good painting for you." She stared into Drahke's eyes, letting her own vulnerability show, and her gratefulness that she could finally let it show. "And I haven't been having a lot of luck finding a background."

The club really did look like a home, one with abundant parking, but a home nonetheless. Drahke pulled in with a casual motion made from doing that here for a while. They didn't park right near the door, it seemed to be Drahke's personal spot they pulled into. "Her private entrance is in the back." Drahke spoke as they started toward the house and Raven felt her lips twitch as she thought about other ways that could be taken, it made her smile just a little.

"Do you go in her private entrance often?" Raven asked with a fake innocent expression, but Drahke didn't seem to catch it.

"Once in a while." Drahke moved to open the gate. "Never for work, but she does invite a few of us to dinner and such once in a while." The dark haired woman held the gate open for Raven. "My family is pretty non-existent now, and she's great about inviting me over for holidays if I'm not working them."

This time when the door opened Raven found herself staring for a different reason. Lady Heather was clearly just Heather now. Her clothing was so ordinary, she looked like any other woman Raven might see at the grocery store in her cut off jeans and t-shirt. "Better?" Lady Heather asked gently and Raven's eyes went to knowing eyes.

"Looking very casual." Drahke answered with a hint of a tease in her voice, making it clear that Heather didn't dress down quite this much often. When Drahke slipped in the door, Raven moved to follow.

She spoke quietly as Drahke moved towards the living room. "Thank you." Raven wasn't so self absorbed to not notice this was a gesture to try and make this visit easier on Raven.

"The bathroom is the third door down the hall." Heather told her and pointed in the direction, "If you want to clean up. You've obviously been crying." Raven sighed and moved to check her reflection. She didn't see it was all that obvious, but this Heather was a lot like Tessa and Tessa would have known. Some people just didn't miss anything, but it was surprising that a human could do that. Tessa's attention to detail was part of her mutation, she saw and remembered everything.

"She was?" The voice was quietly whispered as Raven slowed in the hall on her way back to the others. "I'm surprised she has the courage to come back here. It says a lot about her character that she's doing this for you."

"For me?" Drahke asked and Raven stopped walking altogether.

"Her expression when you told her you liked my home the other night said it all. She's here for you Drahke, facing her fears for you and perhaps her own sense of responsibility because she agreed to paint for you and that's what you wanted, but I had no idea how very well founded her fears were. I'm glad I decided to dress down." Raven walked quietly back down the hall and opened the bathroom door a little more loudly. This time when she came down the hall they were talking about paintings and art.

After a rather healthy lunch, healthier than Raven normally got, they were sitting in the living room again, this time with tea. Raven sat quietly while Drahke told Heather about Raven's odd form of Witness Protection. Neither woman pretended that they hadn't talked about Raven behind her back earlier, and didn't talk in any great detail about her abuse, but the way they talked about her in front of her did remind Raven of other Mistresses she'd known.

"So if it isn't the police protecting you, who is it?" Heather asked Raven and she was sitting a little taller on the couch as she did it.

Raven looked down at her teacup as she considered how to answer this. "A friend." She spoke quietly, realizing that in spite of how she met Irene, she did consider her a friend, not just a previous enemy anymore. She looked up at Drahke and Heather. "I'd tell you more, but the people I'm running from have telepaths."

"Okay, fair enough." Heather nodded a little. "But you trust this friend to be able to keep you safe?"

"Yeah, I do." Sitting here in this living room she found herself trusting Irene even more. The woman pushed Raven into staying here, but sitting there being able to be honest about her life for a change, it was freeing. She didn't have to lie, or if she did she didn't realize it.

"Good, but if you ever don't trust this friend to do that you can come to me," Lady Heather sat her teacup down on the table gently. "I have a few connections, not a lot, but I'd do what I could for you." The woman smiled conspiratorially at her, "And who, knowing what you went through, would think to look for you here?"

Well that was certainly true. Even Tessa would be hard pressed to predict this one. Raven just nodded politely, wondering if she'd ever have to take the woman up on the offer.

"Well, shall I show you the room I was thinking of?" Heather stood up.

It had only taken an hour to get to the reason for this visit. Raven was glad to follow down the hall. "That's Zoe's room." Heather spoke as Raven glanced into a room that didn't look like the others, it had posters on the wall, they were in frames, but they were still posters. "My daughter."

"You have a daughter?" Raven found herself wincing at the obvious surprise in her voice, but Heather just smiled.

"Yes. She's starting High School this year. They grow so fast." Heather moved to open a closed door. "She's staying the weekend at a friend's. Perhaps I'll introduce you to her later, if you paint from here she'll have to meet you." The room was beautiful, and Raven could hear the slight sigh that Drahke gave as she looked at it, clearly liking the idea. "So what do you think?"

Raven stepped into the room and walked around the bed without talking, looking for the angle she had on the other bed in the painting. She studied the dressers, the walls, the windows quietly. "Can I move some furniture?" She asked, seeing a background in her mind that would take a little work to get. "Maybe I could add some candles." She spoke softly to herself. This room could be perfect.

"You can do what you like. If there are things in one of my other rooms you'd like in here just ask."

Raven turned to look at Drahke. "This could work." Part of her had hoped it wouldn't as she was coming here, but after spending an hour with Lady Heather she wasn't as worried about it as she'd been before. Drahke and Heather smiled at her, in that look at the funny little artist way that some of the Xmen had given her before when she was working out a pose or a setting.

"I'd like you to look at another room." Heather interrupted Raven's mental calculations about the guest room and where things should move. "For my painting, I wanted to be in my office, my public office, and I wanted to be in my Mistress attire." There was a hint of a question in that comment.

"That makes sense." Raven turned to look at Heather. She did look more commanding in what Raven had seen her in last time. The thought of her in those clothes didn't bother Raven as much as they had that first night. Perhaps an hour visiting had been needed to make Raven relax, and Lady Heather had of course realized that.

"I'd like to show you what I had in mind, and see what you think." Heather led them out a door and down a larger hall. They past the lobby Raven had seen, they past a few closed doors, which Raven didn't attempt to look in. She was comfortable now, and seeing a whipping post or other familiar things might ruin that. Instead she thought about the artistic qualities and the more feminine touch to the rooms and halls in comparison to another club. She sought out difference, like the fact she could see windows, that getting out at any moment would be easy because even if she couldn't find a door, there were a lot of windows.

Once they got to the office Lady Heather moved toward a chair in the corner instead of her desk. It looked like a favorite reading spot to Raven. Raven studied the way Lady Heather was sitting, took in the office and the dark wood paneling in the background. She stared at the Mistress sitting in an example of the pose she was considering and something wasn't quite right and it wasn't just the casual clothes. It didn't hold enough power even though the chair and the room was perfect, commanding. She moved to the left and moved her head down to take in another angle. "You want this to scream Mistress right?" She asked and shook her head at the amused smirk Heather gave her for that.

"Mistresses don't scream." Drahke chuckled from the doorway. Raven's dark haired friend had been rather quiet until now, and Raven almost forgot that Drahke was with them. Raven glanced at her and then back at Heather. There is no Mistress without a slave.

"Drahke, serve." Raven pointed to the ground in front of Lady Heather. "Kneel for a second."

"You heard the Lady." Lady Heather's eyes hardened just a little, but if she was going for cold and uncaring it was ruined by the smirk as she looked towards Drahke. "On your knees."

"I thought this was a portrait." Drahke complained a little as she stepped into the space Raven pointed too. "I don't want to pose as a slave, hours of that will kill my knees."

"No one does." Raven muttered, thinking about the pictures someone took of her. "Just pose for a second." Her voice was a little deeper as she ordered that, while turning to move behind Drahke as Drahke obeyed. "No, move to the left." When Lady Heather started to move Raven held up a hand, stopping her, while Drahke scooted to the left. "Good." Lady Heather, unfortunately wasn't watching Drahke like Raven intended, she was watching Raven. The way her eyes seemed to take in everything was familiar and a bit comforting.

"She's your slave." Raven stood up a bit taller and waved toward Drahke. "Look at her."

Lady Heather smirked. "You realize you're making me your submissive?"

"Just do what I say." Raven felt a hint of a smile on her own lips at that insane idea.

"Yes Lady Raven." Lady Heather teased softly and turned to stare at Drahke. It took a moment, but what Raven was looking for came out, Lady Heather looked commanding, strong, sexy in a way only a strong woman could be.

"That's it." Raven moved around Drahke, the one spot best for the easel was clearly right behind her. "Drahke you can move now." Raven knew how to recreate that pose now with Heather, the woman just needed a focus to get it started. Whenever they started working it wouldn't be hard to get someone to get Heather in character and focused on a spot near the easel.

"That's perfect." Drahke smiled as she stood up.

"How about you continue that submissive role and go get us some more tea?" Lady Heather smiled at Drahke and the dark haired woman bowed just a little and turned to do what she was told. The way Lady Heather turned to Raven after Drahke was gone made it clear to Raven that the tea was at least partly an excuse to talk to her alone.

"You're different when you're actively being an artist." Lady Heather spoke, "More dominant, confident. You know yourself as an artist in ways you don't know the other parts of yourself. Do you like the control you have right now?"

Raven's eyebrows drew together in a bit of confusion. "I just know how to get the pose I want from you. It's practice."

Lady Heather smiled a little mysteriously. "Yes, you got what you wanted, and you knew how to get it." The woman stood up and turned toward another wall. "Knowing who you are, and what you want are very important things Raven. Never forget that, your personal power will stem from that." There wasn't really anything to say to a comment like that, so Raven said nothing. She didn't feel like she knew either of those things anymore. Lady Heather motioned to the wall. "I want the painting to go there. I imagine it would need to be a bit bigger to fill the space adequately." Lady Heather turned to smile that small smile again at Raven. "I suspect a painting of that size will take a considerable amount of time, will you do it?"

Raven looked at the large wall. "You want it bigger than life." She spoke quietly, while trying to figure out if she really had time for that.

"Any Mistress is bigger than life Raven." Lady Heather moved closer to her. "It is persona, attitude. It's knowing yourself and what you want and being willing to get it." Raven shivered a little at the dominance in Lady Heather's voice. The Mistress's voice softened at that. "They took your control from you. Would you like to learn how to get that back?"

"I'm not a Mistress." Raven felt a blush cover her cheeks, especially with the studying gaze that earned her.

"No, I don't suppose you are. You appear to be a natural submissive." Lady Heather walked around her slowly and Raven stood very still as the woman did that. "You did notice that when I asked you at lunch what you looked for in a woman your first answer wasn't attractive, it wasn't funny or smart. You said strong. You weren't talking physically strong were you?" Raven started to replay that conversation in her mind, trying to remember if she'd really said strong first. It was just polite chit chat between women, but Raven had felt a little on the spot answering at the time, she wasn't sure she could remember what she'd said. "Answer me." Lady Heather demanded while circling her.

"No, not physically, not just physically." Raven's heart was beating a little faster as she stood completely still.

"There's more to say…" Lady Heather spoke softly.

"Mistress." Raven spoke automatically.

"How does it feel?" Lady Heather moved to stand in front of her, but Raven didn't look up. "How do you feel now?"

"I don't know." Raven's voice was slightly higher, tighter.

Raven felt Lady Heather step so very close before whispering. "Do you want to serve? That's what you called it."

Raven's eyes jerked up to stare into Lady Heather's a mix of horror and something less identifiable swirled through her. Her horror was in response to that other feeling. Lady Heather stepped back just a little.

"See, submissive. It isn't all fear you feel." The dominant, in control voice ended and Lady Heather could have just been talking about the weather with the tone she used. "Know yourself Raven, there is considerable power in doing that. You can be a mystery to other people, but you shouldn't be a mystery to yourself."

"I just want to paint." Raven spoke into the silence and stared at the wall. She didn't like how her emotions seemed to roll over her.

"Then you will." Lady Heather nodded and moved to sit on the other side of the desk. "And if you decide you want more, just let me know. The offer still stands."

"To be your slave?" Raven glared.

"No, to finally be your own Mistress. I suspect you haven't been for a very long time, if ever." Lady Heather leaned over her desk a little, towards Raven. "You may enjoy submitting to others occasionally. It would be healthier for someone with such strong submissive tendencies to indulge once in a while, but what you need to work on is control. You have very little of it in your life right now. You are running, you don't pick where or when, you don't pick who you'll be or what you'll do. You have enough submission in your life right now, you need control. You need to know who Raven is so she doesn't get lost in all of this."

Raven just stared as she absorbed that. She hadn't even noticed how much control she'd handed over to Irene, she just saw it as doing what needed to be done. Irene's power was much better for keeping Raven safe and her connections were much better too. She still believed that she was better off with Irene helping her, she felt safer that way, but what did Raven control?

The room fell into a comfortable quiet as Lady Heather logged on to her computer and Raven just watched the woman type. "Drahke wants me to negotiate price with her, she claims you tend to underprice yourself." Lady Heather's eyes turned to her and there was more meaning there. "You don't know your talents or your worth Raven even in the part of yourself you pull strength from. I want you to see the negotiations and I want you to quietly sit there and listen to what you hear." Lady Heather smiled a little, "of course that is only if you are willing to consider taking my commission and working here in the club to do it."

"I'll do it." Raven spoke softly. "I'll do it." She felt nervous, a bit lost, but she felt like whatever it was Lady Heather was offering her was something that maybe she really needed.

Lady Heather's head tilted just a little, a very subtle indication of her approval. "Very good. While we can wait for Drahke to negotiate price, I think we can figure out a schedule on our own." The woman turned to her computer. "My business picks up after dark but a few hours before dark I tend to work on paperwork and other things. What are your hours at the Brothel?'

"Ah." Raven still felt weird hearing that, like she should clarify what she did there. "I'm working Wednesday through Sunday right now, but once Jonathan comes back I'm probably going to get my hours cut." Unless the Brothel really needed two cashiers, which was doubtful. During her training it was rather slow, since she was doing part of what the Madam's normally did unless it was busy. Raven was just trusting that there was a job for her there, but maybe Irene had other plans for her. Double guessing a precog was frustrating, so Raven just sighed. "So I'm not sure what's going to happen."

"Okay, so we'll schedule a week at a time then." Lady Heather started to suggest times and Raven found that even as busy as Lady Heather must be, she was freeing up a lot of time for Raven. "Of course I know that you have to finish Drahke's painting first."

"You bet she does." Drahke came in carrying the serving tray with tea. After setting it down on the desk Drahke moved to stand behind Raven's chair and gently squeezed her shoulder while leaning down to ask quietly. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah." Raven nodded as well and felt another soft squeeze to her tense shoulder.

"Good, so let's see how much we can milk her for." Drahke smiled teasingly, knowing that Lady Heather had to hear all of this. As negotiations went on Raven was stunned at the amount that Drahke was asking for, and even more stunned at what she'd managed to get, complete with a partial payment in advance that was more than what Raven would have asked total. Raven stared at the check after Lady Heather handed it to her.

"Surprised by your worth?" The Mistress asked softly. Raven didn't bother to answer yes.

"I better go get more supplies." She spoke softly. "I just need a day or two to access that guest room to finish up Drahke's and then I can start on yours." She felt like she should work very hard for this money. It wasn't that long ago that she had to pay people in favors or money to sit for her sometimes, if they weren't in the mood. It wasn't the same anymore and while it was much better, it was still an adjustment.

………………

The phone drew Raven's attention away from the TV. "Hello?"

"Raven dear, how are you doing?" Irene's voice was friendly and chatty.

"I'm doing good." Raven smiled and sat back down on the couch while turning the volume off on the XFiles.

"And working at the Brothel?" Irene pushed like she knew the answer.

Raven sighed. "You were right." While the place still made her uncomfortable at times, she enjoyed the work and the women. She wouldn't have met Heather or Drahke if she hadn't taken the job.

"Ah yes. Can you say that again, I rarely get to hear a Raven say it so well." Irene teased.

"Smart ass." Raven smiled. "Are you two doing okay?"

"As well as can be expected, given that Mystique is being forced to play by the government's rules. It really puts us at a disadvantage with my visions, because they want to discuss things before we act and there isn't always time for that." Irene's happy tone faded to subtle irritation. Raven had heard that Mystique was being forced to work for the government, but she thought the fools that came up with that idea would most likely pay. Mystique wasn't a woman anyone could control for long. Well, anyone but Irene. "Well, anyway, are you planning to stay? I think I may be able to let you stay there a few more months."

"I'd like that." Raven paused. "Did you know about Lady Heather?" There was no way Raven would have ever gone to that club if it weren't for Drahke.

"You give me far too much credit dear." Irene protested, but she did sound pleased with herself. "So, you do realize that the Brothel may have to change your position now that they have their cashier back?"

"I didn't see how I could keep my hours." Raven started to think about what else she could do. She wasn't a great cook and Martha wasn't likely to leave her domain easily.

"I was talking with Lois." Irene said and Raven could hear tapping in the background, like Irene was fidgeting. "She could use a floor maid, Lana just quit, and it takes time to hire someone new for that position. Not that you heard any of that from me."

"Ah," Raven's eyes widened. "That's talking to the customers." A floor maid greeted customers, talked to them, explained what how things worked for new customers and introduced the women. They talked to ALL the customers.

"Lois said that the wardrobe you had was good enough and she thinks you're friendly and professional. I hear you aren't as isolated as you used to be. You talk with the women." Irene continued after a short pause. "Or they could use a driver on busy nights, but I don't really like the idea of you out in a car alone with these men. It's better to have male drivers."

"I want to stay." Raven struggled with what was worse, introducing the women she worked with and explaining how the brothel worked or picking up people from the city to take them to the brothel. She could get a different job, but being at the Brothel gave her models that actually would pay her for the art. During slow times right now she was making money for sketches. "I'll be a floor maid." She found herself saying, but her voice was tight with tension. She just found Drahke and Heather, she just started really doing art. She liked where that was going, but this was a hard price to pay.

"Okay, I'll tell Lois she can hold off on advertising that position." Irene paused. "I know this is hard for you Raven, and I'd never put you through this if I didn't think you'd be getting something good out of it. I hope you know that."

"I do." Raven stared at the TV, watching Scully run across the screen. "And I want you to know I really am glad that I have you. I don't want to think how lost I would have been if I didn't have a friend like you." She wanted Irene to know that she'd been upgraded to a friend.

"Oh Sweetheart." Irene spoke softly. "You take care, and I'll call you again soon to see how you are."

Once she hung up Raven just stared at the TV for a moment, trying to not envision the mess she'd make of this new job. She got up and grabbed another beer and while she was opening it she noticed the book Heather had lent her, Dominance & Personal Power. It had been sitting on the table unread for a week. Raven picked it up and opened it to table of contents, glancing at the chapter titles. Maybe there was something in here she could use to be a better Floor Maid. Some trick to control the sometimes belligerent men that came into the brothel.

………………

"I want you to just watch how Lexi or I do it for the next few days." Lois sat across from Raven in the kitchen. "I won't let you do it on your own until I get the feeling you are going to be okay."

Raven took a deep breath and nodded. It was a bit comforting to know she'd get training for this, not just thrown out there. "Thank you."

"What for?" Lois gave Raven a slightly puzzled look.

"Well, I'm hardly qualified for any of this."

"It's not that hard." Lois smiled a little. "of course by the time your done here you'll probably know everything about the business side of it all. Funny how that works. Irene couldn't have sent you at a better time." Lois' smile grew and Raven gave her a questioning look, but Lois just seemed to sit up straighter, in her all about business pose. "I want you to shadow me tonight, but if the customers ask you anything be polite and refer them to me even if you know the answer, and never, ever quote prices. The girls will hate you for a very long time if you do that, don't even give the men a ballpark figure."

"Okay." She already knew better than to quote anything, the prices were a very sensitive topic. She'd heard enough bitching about that before from the prostitutes.

"Also don't steer business to," Lois stared at her and her eyes softened, "or away from your friends. I know you might have trouble seeing Drahke or Jewel picked in a lineup, but do your best to never let that show. They're professionals, and they are in it for the money, so they need those clients." This was something that Raven had already thought over a lot, and tried to come to grips with. "Also it is normally frowned on for our staff to date one of the girls, but…" Lois tilted her head down just a little. "If you ever decided to do that, I just ask that you are discrete so we don't have angry claims of favoritism."

"I'm not…" Raven's eyes widened a little as she realized that Lois thought she and Drahke might be getting ready to be more. "I'm not even staying here long."

"Live while you can girl, because someday you'll turn around and find out your damn near sixty five, and you want to have a few wild love affairs to warm you in your decrepit old age." Lois reached out a hand and rested it over Raven's on the table. "So if you do, just not during work hours."

Rather than point out again that she wasn't, Raven just blushed and nodded.

"Good, the owner would be upset with me if I got in the way of romance." Lois teased. It sounded like the opposite of what an owner would want, so Raven assumed it was sarcasm.

It was the third lineup where Drahke was chosen by some middle aged man with a comb over. Drahke smiled at him like she liked him and led him towards the hallway and her room. Raven had never actually seen any of the clients, just heard them. Her eyes followed the pair until Lois gently bumped her and started talking to the man that hadn't selected anyone yet.

Drahke came out to line up again an hour later and was passed over. When the parlor cleared of men she moved to stand by Raven, but Raven took in the tighter than normal grip Drahke had on her own arms while trying to appear casual. "So, how's the first day?" Drahke asked, her voice just a little tighter.

"Stressful." Raven let out a long sigh. "That last guy was looking at me too long." Her voice was quieter as she admitted her discomfort, not wanting the others to tease. "And I don't like how they look at any of the women."

"Oh, don't worry about them. There are enough Professionals to take care of them." Drahke smiled, but her lips were a little too thin for it to seem natural.

"You aren't too dirty to be my friend." Raven whispered, remembering how she'd felt around Tessa after she'd been used. "I've probably served more in a single night than you ever have." Raven looked away and studied a couch. "So no stones, glass house and all."

"God, that so isn't the same thing Raven." Drahke took a step closer, making their bodies touch. "Not the same thing at all. You were raped, you didn't decide to be there and you sure as hell didn't negotiate a price first."

Raven took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." She muttered. "This job is hard, seeing… it's hard, but I don't have many friends Drahke. Hardly any that I trust, or can trust, so I'll get over this." Raven sucked on a tooth and nibbled on her lip enough it hurt a little so she wouldn't tear up. Drahke ran a gentle hand over her shoulder and Raven leaned into the touch just a little.

"It's not me." Drahke spoke it as a fact while her hand rested on Raven.

"No, not you." Raven glanced around and noticed a few eyes on them.

"Do you want to stay after your shift and work out with me?" They did have a gym for the prostitutes, because they weren't allowed to leave the brothel. Raven had never used it.

"Okay." Raven didn't even have a change of clothes for that, but she knew they maybe needed that time together, and Raven might need to beat on something. Hopefully they had a punching bag. Drahke smiled at her softly and leaned forward to kiss her gently on the temple before moving toward Lois. It was very busy on Fridays and it looked like another group of men were on the way, but that looked more like Lois wanted to remind Drahke not to be too affectionate with Raven at work. Who ever thought Raven would warrant that talk again. It was kind of nice that someone wanted to touch her, kiss her and be affectionate. Raven turned away from the quiet scolding Drahke was getting to look at the walls and paintings on the walls again. Affection she could do, sex might take her a long time, but affection… Raven sighed. She'd like affection.

They didn't actually work out that night, they just talked about growing up and Drahke's dream of owning her own business. Drahke went into detail about what she wanted the Victorian house to look like, the curtains she'd pick, and the clientele she'd try to pull in. By the time she left, Raven felt better. The gentle hug had something to do with it. Raven couldn't remember the last time a woman hugged her like that, other than Tessa.

It made more sense why Lois would say something about her and Drahke now. Strange how Raven hadn't noticed it changing between them. Drahke had never been quite so protective or physical with her before tonight.

She sat in the car for a moment before even trying to start it. Instead she pulled down the mirror. "Your girlfriend is a prostitute." She whispered, just to hear it. She wasn't quite sure it was true. "Well, then maybe she won't want sex." She answered her accusation with something she found a bit of a positive. "girlfriend." She started the car. Was she ready for that? Was she reading something that wasn't there? Was she actually disappointed with the idea that it might not be there? Raven blinked a few times when she realized she was.

Drahke was strong. She was also beautiful, classy, fun to be around and she supported Raven's dreams, the ones Raven doubted she could have anytime soon, but Drahke supported her art.

Raven turned off the car and got back out of it. She'd never be able to sleep with these thoughts in her head. She walked quickly back to the brothel and found Drahke on the porch smoking, no, not smoking, letting off a little fire while no one was looking. Raven smiled at the surprised look on Drahke's face when she found someone beside her. "I was thinking, when you get off work… maybe we could see a movie?" Raven blushed, but the night hid some of it. "Dinner and a movie?" Her voice was softer as she asked.

"Are you asking me on a date?" Drahke turned toward her and studied her. Raven fidgeted a bit but looked back.

"Yes."

"Okay." Drahke smiled.


	23. Hellfire 2 Part 4

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

The car was dirty. Raven looked at it again and sighed, even in the dark she could tell. She should probably take care of that soon. Her eyes trailed over the building, remembering seeing a neighbor washing a car a few weeks ago, and she found the hose. In the morning she'd take care of it.

She was just assuming she'd be driving for the date. Raven smiled just a little as she started up the stairs. It was almost two in the morning and her first solo stint as the floor maid hadn't resulted in the back of her head exploding from the stress. Some of it might have to do with the way Lois had waited until Drahke was away to let her do an entire night. Raven doubted that anyone missed how Lois only let her play floor maid when Drahke wasn't part of the line up for the past week during training, and her final solo run came after Drahke went off shift. Raven didn't bother to ask if other floor maids were trained quite so long, because she was positive she was getting special treatment.

She couldn't say she minded. She probably had more to overcome than other floor maids, but the prostitutes didn't know that and Raven had gotten a few looks lately that weren't too friendly from the few that were most likely wondering why she needed the coddling. It actually reminded her of the Xmen at times. New Xmen sometimes used to look at her like she was getting away with something when she didn't have to go on missions, wasn't dragged out of bed for them. The thing was they didn't realize that Raven had wanted to go, to be one of the team, but was never fully allowed. Okay, so maybe it did bother her a bit that there was always a double standard for her, but in this case she appreciated what she was getting. She really couldn't have done the job without a lot of time to get used to it.

She walked towards her door while enjoying the cooler night air, until her ears caught a new sound. Raven slowed and moved to the railing to look down at the apartment complexes small central garden to see someone sitting on the bench. He didn't seem to notice her as he stared at the ground, his young thin shoulders hunched over. It was that boy. What was he doing up this late, Raven thought to herself as she glanced toward the boy's apartment, where she did see a light in one of the rooms. She stared for a little while and didn't see him move very much.

With a sigh Raven turned to unlock her door and with a final glance at him she stepped inside, feeling a bit more troubled than she had been. She tossed her purse on the couch and moved to the fridge for a wine cooler, taking a deep drink of the cool liquid as she moved to the stereo for some soft music as was her nightly ritual. It took a bit of work to wind down enough to sleep. She listened to the soft sounds of Melissa Etheridge, the few CD's she invested in, as she leaned back on the couch and slowly worked on her drink. While she didn't like to buy things she'd have to either leave behind or fit into the three bags of belongings she allowed herself, perhaps crowding out other belongings, she'd decided a little music was worth it.

When she tipped the bottle enough to take in the last of the contents she glanced at her living room window again. The shades were closed, but they faced the central garden. Raven got up and glanced out the window, shoving the shades to the side, but she couldn't see the bench from there. She bounced the bottle against her thigh as she stood there, staring at the bushes she could see. She should just see, maybe he just needed a little air. That excuse sounded weak as she thought it, no one went out after air at two in the morning. She glanced at the clock, make that two thirty.

The door opened and Raven glanced at the other windows of the small apartment complex. Aside from hers there was only one other light and that was the boy's. Raven stepped forward and glanced over the edge of the railing to see the boy was still there, but he was wrapping his arms around his legs as he sat. Were those pajama bottoms? Raven stared as she considered that. It might be the desert but that didn't mean the nights were warm as well. This was too long to sit outside in pajamas.

She moved back toward her apartment and closed the door. She just felt like this was wrong. With a sigh she reached in for her second wine cooler and paused. Her shoulders tightened and she grabbed two bottled waters instead. She opened her purse and pulled her keys out, shoving them into her pocket, before moving to the door with the two bottles in one hand.

The soft crunch of the rocks made the boy look up. It was pajama bottoms he was wearing and a guarded expression as she stepped closer. "Hey." She smiled and glanced up at the sky for a moment, but there was nothing really interesting to see there. The city was too close and only a few stars were visible. "Water?" She held out one bottle as she stepped up to the bench. "Seat taken?"

"No." He hesitantly took the bottle she offered as she sat down, giving the sky another glance. She really didn't know what to say so she took the cap off her own bottle.

"I work pretty funky hours." She barely glanced at him, but could see he was shifting to sit more properly. "Surprised to see anyone awake around here when I get home."

"Yeah, I see you sometimes." He looked at her. "You're new."

"Just staying for the summer." Raven glanced down to see his bare feet, and up to see his black hair looked a bit slept in. This boy looked like he'd been kicked out of bed. "I'm Raven by the way." She barely paused as she glanced toward her apartment. "I'm staying in 2C." He just nodded and Raven noticed a slight shiver as he pulled his legs up again. If she were a stranger to him she'd offer to let him in to her apartment, but she doubted he'd accept right now.

"Why do you always get home so late?" He asked, and Raven noticed a hint of real curiosity in the question. It wasn't just the teenager trying to be polite. She didn't really want to ruin the moment by telling him she was a Madam in training, so she thought for a moment.

"Work at a bar." That was uninteresting enough to warrant no further questions. "What about you?"

"Huh?" He seemed to get a little more rigid. She'd touched a nerve and she could tell, so she redirected the question so he didn't pull away. She almost felt like she was trying to coax a wild animal to trust her.

"You work?" Yet another sensitive topic, but he seemed to relax a bit.

"Nope," He sighed. "I've applied all over and no one calls. My dad…" His words trailed off and if Raven hadn't been looking for it she might have missed the bit of shame in his eyes.

"How old are you anyway?" She stared at him, guessing fourteen. He quickly confirmed it. No one hired fourteen year olds. She didn't point that out, because she was sure that was something he was well aware of.

He finally opened the bottle of water she'd handed him, and took a drink. Raven smiled into her own bottle when he did that, knowing that she'd passed a test. He deemed her trustworthy.

There was a loud noise in the nearby apartment, one that Raven heard often enough to recognize. This boy's father was having sex, loud sex. She glanced at the boy and took in the embarrassed avoiding of her eyes.

"He…" the boy hesitated, but Raven continued to look at him gently. "He has a prostitute…" The young black man couldn't look at her. "I didn't want to…"

Raven studied his embarrassed blush and the picture in her mind wasn't kind. She'd seen proud daddy's at the brothel bringing in just barely legal age boys to visit their first prostitute, like it was a rite of passage. It seemed barbaric and disgusting to get so involved in a kids sexual development, and really, the first time should mean more than that. Raven did notice that all the prostitutes took that responsibility, the taking of a boy's virginity, very seriously. They tried to make it special, but after the fact they all expressed disgust that the father wouldn't just let the boy find someone in his own time; that a brothel wasn't the place to lose that virginity.

Some, like Ebony took it as a challenge to teach the young men how they really should treat a woman, before the young men became jaded and set in their ways, but the majority thought it wasn't a good idea.

"Was she for you?" Raven asked as casually as she could. If that man brought a prostitute, a street walker at that, to this boy it was to humiliate him or try and fix his homosexuality. It was abuse. The way the boy looked at his feet was the answer. Her voice softened. "What's your name?"

"Terrance." His voice sounded rather young, like it was just starting to change, far too young for sex.

"Terrance," She smiled at him. "I was about to make a late dinner. Want to join me?" He looked like he wasn't sure, so she added a little more forcefully. "It's too cold out here, you aren't dressed for it."

"I don't want to bother…"

"I need to eat anyhow." Actually she'd eaten at the Brothel, but he was cold and she needed an excuse to get him inside and away from the sounds of sex. That father probably left the bedroom window opened on purpose to torment the boy. "I was debating between hamburger patties and tater tots or spaghetti. What do you think?" It took a while to convince him it wasn't a bother, but Raven walked up the stairs to her second floor apartment with Terrance behind her five minutes later.

Melissa Etheridge was singing on the stereo when they came inside. Raven noticed him looking around curiously and she let him as she moved to the kitchen. Her hand moved toward the wine cooler she wanted, but she grabbed the Gatorade instead, and poured two glasses. She really needed to be able to pay attention right now. She let the silence have free reign as she pulled out a pan and started on the meat patties.

He finally moved to lean over the kitchen island and looked at her. Raven watched him from the corner of her eye and watched with a bit of a heavy heart how he seemed to be looking for the catch in her kind move. Some angle she must have, something she must want. This boy clearly didn't have kindness in his life. "You have a boyfriend?" He asked while glancing around, looking for evidence of this mythical man.

Raven smiled a little at the familiar question that normally irritated the hell out of her, knowing he was just fishing and didn't know better. She wondered if what his father screamed was true and the boy was gay. If he was, she was about to throw him a bone. "Nope, but I have a date with a woman I like tomorrow." His eyes widened a little. Raven turned to pull the bag of tater tots out of the freezer. "So I'm hopeful, and a bit nervous. I haven't really dated in a long time." Not dated anyone she wanted more than a night or two of distraction from anyway.

"A woman?" She finally turned to look at him and his eyes seemed happier. He was family. "Where are you taking her?" Raven wasn't sure it was her imagination that he sounded a bit excited and sounded a little more feminine, like he'd been acting before. Raven outlined her plans for the date while cooking, making it sound as normal as possible so he would see it could be. That to be gay didn't mean they only got back alley meetings, that real relationships were possible. She doubted he'd hear that at home.

As they ate he seemed more like a teenager. He talked more animatedly about movies and TV shows, and he hinted that he found a few actors sexy, but he probably thought he was being subtle and testing her out. Raven wondered if she'd ever been like this as she watched him bloom in front of her eyes. It made her feel a little proud of herself to see her willingness to share had apparently touched him.

He started to wilt after dinner. "I probably should get back. He might be… done." And he'd be upset if his boy wasn't waiting, Raven filled in the gaps.

"It was nice to have company." Raven stood up and took the plates to the sink. "Maybe we could do this again sometime?" She could see him debating about it, but she knew he wanted to. "No plans, just if you ever have time. I also eat lunch, but never breakfast." She smiled at him, trying to break the tense mood. Daddy would clearly not approve.

"Maybe." He moved to the door. Raven would have offered a blanket, but it would be evidence that Terrance hadn't sat through his entire punishment. Raven didn't make him have to turn her down.

When he left she waited a few minutes then opened her living room window. She could hear the soft breeze and the odd car driving past. Raven pulled out her second wine cooler and started to drink, but she left the radio on softly and kicked her shoes off while she waited. The sound of voices came about twenty minutes later, a bit of angry mumbling she couldn't hear the details of. Raven moved to carefully pull her blinds apart enough to look out. She could see the light of an open door, and Terrance going inside. She also saw the prostitute in question leaving, looking very much like a street walker. Raven took a deep drink of her bottle, which was still half full as she watched that door close with the men inside. The bastard didn't even offer to drive the lady back to her corner. She'd probably lose a bit of her profit getting a cab.

It was a stupid idea, and it wasn't any of her business, but Raven set her bottle down and opened the door. Perhaps if she hadn't already gotten started on her nightly self medication this wouldn't have seemed like a good idea, but she walked down to the stairs, the cool concrete rough on her bare feet. She could see the woman in the parking lot smoking so Raven started to walk faster. Drahke would laugh at her if she saw this.

"Twenty bucks if you just come to my room and have a drink with me." She startled the woman, who was probably at the end of her shift. It was pushing four after all, and Raven was tired.

"Just a drink?" Raven was getting closer to the woman and noticed the smirk. Woman was being a little generous; she looked like a young person that had to grow up way too fast. In the streetlight Raven thought maybe the prostitute was nineteen, but she wouldn't be surprised if she was younger.

"I want to talk." Raven's voice was a little deeper and more commanding.

"About how I'm a sinner and you can save my soul? Or perhaps you want to know how to get in the business?" The woman was defensive and a bit hostile. "Pretty, you could probably get a decent price."

Raven's eyes hardened. "I know exactly how much I could get. I work at a brothel." She left it open, letting the girl think she was a fellow working girl and watched the tension and suspicion melt. "The boy is a friend of mine."

"What brothel?" She was still a little suspicious. Raven wondered what the street walker went through to make her that way.

"Kitten Ranch."

"I'll take your twenty." The girl's blonde hair was a bit messy, like he'd not even let her use the bathroom to straighten up. "Lead the way."

As a former bartender, Raven bet when she finally got the woman in the apartment that this one was underage, but she pulled the wine cooler out for her anyhow. The girl was a prostitute, Raven wasn't about to be concerned about underage drinking. "Name's Cherry." The girl sat down heavily on the couch and took a deep drink of the bottle.

"I'm Raven." Raven sat on the love seat so she could see the woman as they talked, and so it was clear she wasn't trying to get too close.

"Man, thanks for the drink. Been a long day." Cherry sighed and seemed to relax, while kicking her own shoes off.

After some quiet decompressing time Cherry started to talk. "That dad is a real piece of work. When he picked me up he was talking about making his boy a man. I was like, sure, I can do that. I thought the boy would be at least sixteen ya know, but he's just a kid." Cherry took another deep drink. "Anyway we get home and he goes into the boy's bedroom and starts yelling at him. Lemme tell you, I started to wonder if this was worth the money then you know." Cherry looked at her like Raven could commiserate. "Some clients are just better to pass up. He started calling the boy a faggot when the boy said he didn't want to, and I was like… well, if he doesn't want me maybe you and I could do a little business. I just wanted him to stop yelling, and really I wasn't into kids. You ever do virgin popping? I hate it."

Raven sighed, trying to keep her own inexperience in this a secret. "So Terrance said he didn't want to and he got left outside while you two did business."

"Yeah, but what really was fucked up was that the dad insisted on having a conversation with me about how to get in the business and how much a fudgepacker might make a night if they turned tricks. Pointed to his god damned kid and asked what a fair price would be for him. I was disgusted."

Raven's fists clenched around her bottle and her lips thinned. That bastard.

"I tried to tell him the boy was too young, even though I started around that age and there are some perverted men out there that like little boys, but he said that he knew boys could get a good price and if his boy refused to get a fucking job he could get a 'fucking job'."

"Oh god." Raven groaned.

"He laughed, really amused himself with that one." Cherry looked just as disgusted as Raven. "And the boy looked at me like he wanted to disappear, and he was so sorry I had to see all of this. He was sorry for me. Good kid." Cherry shook her head and took another deep drink.

"Can you do me a favor?" Raven felt a little ill. "You see the boy on the streets you call me? I'll pay if…"

"No, you don't have to pay." Cherry tilted her bottle, taking in the last of the drink. She'd finished it rather fast. "But if you're working…"

"I hope to never hear from you actually." Raven spoke wearily. "But if he's out there I want to know. If his bastard of a dad actually puts him out there, that's no way to lose your virginity." Her mind flashed on Tessa for a moment and her eyes watered. She wrote her number down on a piece of paper and handed it over with the twenty she owed. "Thank you."

"Yeah." Cherry set the bottle down, looking very world weary. "Brothel work as good as I hear?"

"Yeah, much better than the streets." Raven just repeated what she'd heard. "Safer, you got backup and you're inside and warm while they come to you."

"Maybe when I turn twenty one I'll work with ya." Cherry smiled, but it was sad. "Age limit right?"

"Yeah." Raven sighed heavily. "Tell Lois I sent you when you get there."

"It'll be a while." Cherry gripped her purse, confirming Raven's feeling that Cherry really was young. "I better get going or my pimp will wonder… ya know."

"Yeah." Raven held the door opened and let the girl leave. She'd offer to drive, but she was feeling ill and a bit drunk. Not a good combo. When she closed the door she leaned against it. "Fuck." She muttered.

…………

"Thank you for coming so late." Lady Heather spoke while nodding briefly to one of her employees that had stepped into the room. Raven carefully worked on the shading of Lady Heather's cleavage, trying to get the shadows right on her canvas.

The sounds of occasional screams were distracting at first but she found herself able to block most of it out if she just really concentrated on her work. A particularly loud snap of the whip caused her hand to shake and Raven muttered quiet swears as she worked to repair the damage the jerking of her hand caused.

"Can we take a break?" Lady Heather spoke carefully and Raven looked up from her canvas to see the woman watching her rather carefully. "You need it don't you?" The Mistress spoke more gently as her employee left the room.

Raven let out a deep breath and gave Lady Heather a weak smile. "Yeah, I do."

"I have been impressed with your willingness to be here." Lady Heather stood up regally, even though she should be a little sore from posing for a little too long. "But I think you need to see something more." Lady Heather moved toward the door and her voice held a command. "Follow me."

Raven took a hesitant step out of the office after Lady Heather. This was the first time she'd been here while it was opened. Raven fell behind a few more steps as Lady Heather approached another Mistress and asked a soft question. "Heather?" Raven felt a wave of apprehension as she waited to be dragged in another direction. The Mistress talking with Lady Heather gave Raven a scolding look, but Heather moved an arm to stop that without even commenting about it.

"Raven I'm asking you to trust me." Lady Heather turned to stare into her eyes and Raven fought the urge to stare down at her knees, fought the urge to submit and the fear that not submitting would result in pain. It earned her a small smile and nod, a subtle indication that Lady Heather knew Raven had fought her fears. "Come, I want to show you what it is supposed to be like." This time Lady Heather took her hand and gently caressed it, her voice became soothing. "You'll always jump if you don't understand. It isn't like what you know, this isn't torture you are hearing." She sounded like she really wanted Raven to agree.

It wasn't three minutes later that Raven followed Lady Heather into the room that had the whipping sounds coming from it. A man was tied to a post and a woman was whipping him slowly, lazily. Not the quick punishing pace Raven had endured. Lady Heather moved toward the Mistress while Raven stepped back to stand along the wall near the door. She heard the whisper. "Push him too far."

The brunette nodded and pulled her hand back for a more serious lash. It hit him and after a scream Raven heard him call out, "Rabbit, Rabbit" The whip fell to the redhead's side and she stepped forward.

"Too hard or is it your restraints?" Raven stared as he was let loose. She watched him kneel before Rachel and Raven's jaw was closed with a snap as she glanced up and saw Lady Heather staring at her.

"Greg," Lady Heather moved toward him radiating control and power. "Why did Lady Rachel stop?" It almost sounded like a stern teacher asking a question.

"I called out my safe word," He stared down at the ground, "Mistress."

"You had yelled out stop and no earlier, why did she not stop at that time?"

"They were not my safe word Mistress."

"Very good." Lady Heather stared at Raven a moment before turning to Rachel. "Carry on."

Raven was very quiet as she followed Lady Heather back out of the room as she thought about how it just stopped. "Rabbit?" She spoke quietly.

"The submissive holds a great deal of control. A submissive lets their Master or Mistress know what they can tolerate and how much. What their needs and fantasies are dictate a great deal of what we do here. The game ends as soon as the submissive wants it to end, but because many people like the fantasy of protesting calling out No or Stop wouldn't work, so a word that would never appear in the course of a session is chosen and if that word is called out the submissive takes back enough control to say whether it is too hard or too much, or if they just want to stop completely." Raven walked along side Heather, the halls were wide enough, but she found her eyes traveling to other closed doors, wondering what might be happening there. Lady Heather's voice softened a little. "These people pay good money for us to treat them like this. They need the outlet submission gives them and we supply it. This is about their needs and wants."

A door opened and another man, a thin blonde man, followed behind another Mistress obediently, his skin reddish. Lady Heather got a brief look of surprise from the other Mistress as she motioned for them to go first down the hall.

"That is a very reddened bottom." Lady Heather's comment drew Raven's eyes to the man's exposed backside. He wore an outfit that barely covered the necessities and it was clear he had been spanked well.

"That you Mistress." He spoke softly and then Lady Heather turned down a different hall with Raven.

"Some people enjoy being spanked much more now than when they were children." Lady Heather spoke softly and Raven felt her blush redden her face as she remembered Tessa's touch and how good it had been. Her mind started to replay that encounter when she found herself bumping into Lady Heather.

"I'm sorry." Raven looked up to see Lady Heather smiling just a little too knowingly at her.

"You were distracted. Anything you want to share?" Lady Heather's smile grew as Raven's blush intensified.

"No." Raven glanced at the kitchen in front of them.

"Okay, let's grab a little snack. My blood sugar is feeling a little low." Lady Heather reached into a cupboard to grab some crackers. Instead of just eating out of the box she laid them out on a plate before turning to pull a few items out of the refrigerator. "I am sorry if I seem a little rude, but I shouldn't have missed dinner. Would you like cheese and crackers or would you like something else?"

"I ate before coming over." Raven leaned against the counter and waited for Lady Heather to eat enough. The woman was diabetic and Raven more than sympathized with her needing the break now. When they started working again Raven found her hand didn't shake nearly as badly.

………

"Well Stanley," Raven smiled just a little as she motioned toward the line up of prostitutes. "What you do now is pick one and go to her room to talk about what you'd like." He was a little shy, almost looking afraid and full of nervous energy. Raven just waited patiently and didn't look at the women herself, afraid she'd influence him with the way her eyes followed Drahke in that outfit. It was, as always, more than the others wore, but it looked very good on her.

Her attention was dragged quickly back to her job as Stanley moved a little closer to her and whispered. "How do I pick?" He sounded a little stressed. Raven took a breath and looked up at him, feeling a little compassion actually, which was new. Normally she didn't think too much of the men that came here.

"You just pick one that you think you might like."

"But I don't know them, how do I know?" And there was the question. The one Raven couldn't answer but had thought about a lot. How could men just point and go to a room with a woman, how could they just look at the woman and decide by looks alone.

Raven's voice got softer. "This isn't a date Stanley. You aren't looking for a soul mate here. This is sex honey, who do you want to have sex with?" His eyes were wide and looked at her a little too long, but it was hard to feel threatened by a skinny and nervous guy like him. She smiled just a little. "I'm not on the menu, take a look at the other ladies."

"Who should I…"

"I'm not allowed to make suggestions." She spoke calmly and noticed how her voice had gotten a little deeper as she went for soothing and in control. Finally he made a decision, he picked Ebony and after he left Drahke moved toward her with a little bit of a smile on her lips.

"Ten bucks says he's after a Mistress," Drahke's smile grew a little wicked, "and he was thinking you'd have been perfect for the job. You're so gentle and forceful at once. The poor boy spent more time watching you than us."

"Thank god Raven's not interested in our job." Jewel came up and teased. "That's the third one today." Raven blushed. She'd dressed up a little for Drahke today, since it was Drahke's last day of her shift and Raven was driving her home. She thought maybe they could grab a late dinner.

"At least some men like women in clothes. I was starting to think…" Raven muttered and then shut herself up.

"That all they though about was sex?" Jewel laughed. "Well this is the place for that." Drahke gently caressed Raven's back out of sight of the room, helping her with the tension, but it wasn't as bad as it used to be. They talked a little about the day while watching a few of the others start a poker game.

"My shift is just about over. I'm going to go change and meet you at the office." Drahke spoke quietly. Raven looked at the clock and was a little surprised that her own shift had ended five minutes ago.

As Raven drove past the gate and pulled onto the road she was running dinner ideas through her head.

"You're doing a lot better." Drahke spoke softly and Raven glanced down when she felt a gentle caress on her arm, before looking over at Drahke. "You didn't flinch when I touched you." Drahke continued her caress and Raven moved her arm off the wheel to lay it closer to the touch. "You are doing better."

"I still have nightmares." Raven sighed. "I might always have them."

"But you didn't flinch when the customers looked at you today." Drahke's voice grew a little deeper, "And I can't really blame anyone for looking. You look so commanding and sexy in that suit." Raven grinned a little shyly and moved her fingers over the jean covered leg under her hand, petting Drahke. "Is it new?"

"It might be." Raven had to take her hand back to make a turn. It was new. One of very few things she actually bought with her money, other than art supplies, food, and gas. She gave Drahke her hand back after the turn and squeezed the hand that found its way into her own. "Are you hungry or do you need to go crash?" Raven finally asked. Many of the prostitutes talked about how they slept for a day or two after getting off shift just to recover.

"I could use a bite." Drahke's wandering fingers relaxed into just holding Raven's hand. That's what Raven really liked about Drahke, the woman touched a lot but never pushed. Raven was a little surprised by the fact that she had to remind herself that Drahke had just gotten off work, because she wanted more touching, but she'd promised herself to never push for anything the first three days off shift. Raven was very good at listening and understanding to what the prostitutes talked about and the need for a break from some types of intimacy made a lot of sense.

But she'd still not had any seriously intimate moments with anyone since… it… happened. Just Christy, but with Christy being inside of her and Raven being able to read her mind, it wasn't the same sort of surrender. Raven knew, absolutely knew, that Christy loved her and wouldn't do anything to hurt her in a way only a telepath could normally know. Christy was safe.

Drahke was caring, smart, strong, so many good things. Raven wanted to say she was safe too, but if she really believed that why did she always panic when they made out? Why was Raven always pulling away if she knew Drahke was safe?

"What are you thinking?" Drahke had to ask. No woman should be allowed to ask that, Raven thought with a heavy sigh, but a year of answering Tessa when those words came out had her trained.

"You," Raven paused, "sex."

The hand in hers pulled away a bit and Raven turned to glance at Drahke, surprised at the woman pulling away. "You wouldn't be the first lover I've had that had a problem with it." Drahke sounded a little irritated.

"How did they get over it?" Raven hadn't heard about this.

"They didn't, why else do you think I was single when you asked me out?" Drahke sighed heavily and turned away from her for a moment. "Easy to say you don't mind, but you do have a front row seat to it all."

"What?" Raven was confused. "I just… I want to be able…" Her words trailed off for a moment until they were a whisper. "I want, but I keep getting…"

"Oh baby." Drahke's voice was soft again and her hand moved to caress her arm. "You will be able to, when you're ready you will."

"What were you talking about?" Raven knew they had to have been talking about different things.

Drahke squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry. Lace was talking about yet another boyfriend that claimed to be okay with her job and then dumped her because of it. It didn't help that he assumed a prostitute would have an amazing sex drive, but after working ten days she wasn't in the mood most of the time. It brought back a few bad memories. I thought maybe you were having second thoughts."

Raven blushed as she stopped at the stop light. "I heard that most of the women didn't have sex much outside of work." She spoke quietly. "I don't expect…"

"And maybe you like that?" Drahke's touch became soothing as she caressed the back of Raven's hand. "less threatening that way?" Raven stared down at the steering wheel. "I knew. It's fine, I understand. You need cuddling and I happen to like that. I've never had such a cuddly lover."

"Do you ever want sex?" Raven felt a little nervous with how serious and intimate this discussion was getting while she was driving. It felt like something that should be done in a living room.

"Sometimes," Drahke's thumb ran gently over Raven's knuckles, "not so soon after getting off work at the Brothel, but sometimes. I'm willing to wait."

Raven blinked as she started through the intersection. She'd almost believed that Drahke wasn't really interested in sex, the other women weren't. She'd thought perhaps Drahke was kissing her so passionately because it would be expected. Raven didn't often feel very sexy anymore. "You want me?"

"I don't tend to kiss people I don't want. My job may be to do other things, but kissing is special and I never kiss any of them." Drahke picked up Raven's hand and kissed the back of it. Mistresses don't use their mouths, Emma's voice echoed in Raven's head. It was true there too. Kissing was how you knew it meant something. Tessa had kissed her. Raven pushed thoughts of Tessa out of her head. She had a girlfriend in the car she needed to talk to, one that was with her and not two thousand miles away.

"Drahke," Raven spoke after a moment. "Do you want to stay over Tuesday?"

"Raven"

"I want to. I just," Raven felt frustrated with her inability to talk. Finally it was Christy that gave her the words or the inspiration for the words, even though the woman wasn't with her anymore, "I don't want to live in fear, to have fear keep me from something as beautiful as being with you. It won't be easy for me, but I want to do more than cuddle with you. Maybe not everything, maybe not yet, but more." She sighed, "And if I can't, at least I have someone to hold me that night."

"Sounds like a lovely evening." Drahke finally spoke. "I look forward to it, but don't push yourself too hard. I won't push you."

…………….

"I'm never coming home." Tessa's words replayed in her mind as Raven stood at the side of the bed waiting for Drahke to come out of the bathroom. Raven forced herself to see Tessa saying it again, replayed it, to try and stop the guilt she felt. She'd promised herself she'd wait for Tessa years ago, and she'd been faithful for so long, but Tessa was never coming home and Drahke was so kind and gentle with her.

The bathroom door opened and Raven turned to see Drahke's pose and the soft silky robe. It look ten times sexier than Drahke's Brothel work clothes. Raven had to admit her Mistress outfit was sexier than those clothes as well. "You look beautiful." Raven felt a wave of shyness.

"So do you." Drahke moved to the bed and seemed to settle down easily, more used to this awkwardness than Raven. "How about we just cuddle for a while?" Raven let out a relieved breath when Drahke suggested it. She wasn't quite ready yet.

…………….

Raven woke up more gently than she normally did, without the desperate gasp as she fled from a nightmare. It took her a moment to wake up enough to recognize the rhythmic caress to her hair and the warm softness under her cheek that expanded and contracted and had a soft heartbeat. Once she did Raven smiled a little and wrapped her arm around Drahke's waist a little tighter.

"Good Morning." Drahke's voice was soft and as gentle as her caress.

"I'm sorry we didn't…" Raven sighed as she pulled away from the warmth of Drahke's body. Drahke was a bit warmer than normal, maybe it was her mutation. Raven looked into Drahke's eyes and noticed the slight smile.

"It's okay." Drahke looked like she wanted to say more, but she just leaned forward and kissed Raven. "I had a lovely evening. Sex might have ruined the cuddling."

"I feel like I'm neglecting you." Raven felt a wave of worry that she wasn't doing what she was supposed to and that it might bother Drahke. "I can…" Raven's eyes fell to Drahke's naked and beautiful body, taking in the exposed and pert breasts. She could serve.

"No." Drahke's voice was firm. "I have enough meaningless sex, I won't take it from you." She didn't sound too happy, Raven looked back up into staring eyes. "I can wait until you want it and I don't ever want to suspect you've been with me before you do want it."

"Yes Mis…" Raven cut her words off and looked away, disgusted at her slip and her shoulders slumped. Drahke tried to touch her cheek and Raven flinched away.

"Don't." Drahke touched her cheek. "Don't punish yourself for that. Mistress, you almost called me Mistress and you know what? I don't care, I am one. Not with you, but I am one." Raven took a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. "Do you need me to be a Mistress?" Drahke asked so softly and Raven felt a tear trail down her cheek in response. "Your Mistress?"

Tessa's face came to her mind and Raven shook her head no. God she felt so lost. Tessa wasn't her anything anymore. "Yes." Her voice croaked out. "No, I don't know."

"It's okay." Drahke spoke softly while pulling Raven closer. "You take all the time you need. If you need that I'll be that and if you don't, I won't. You just tell me when you're ready." It was so incredibly kind, so giving. Raven started to shake as tears started to fall. Drahke just held her and gently rocked her as Raven cried.

"I just want it to be over." Raven muttered as she held Drahke tightly. "I just want it to be over." No more nightmares, no more fear. She just wanted to live a normal life.

"It will be," Drahke kissed her forehead. "You just need to give yourself enough time to heal. This was too soon and I knew it. It's okay baby. It's okay."

Raven felt embarrassed when she finally stopped crying. She also felt safe in Drahke's arms and she didn't want to move and risk the woman letting go of her. They laid like that for a while, until Raven's own muscles couldn't take the position much longer and she had to sit back up. The look she gave Drahke was so raw and grateful.

Raven made breakfast for the first time in months and sat down across from Drahke, who was dressed in her robe again. "What if I…" Raven sighed, "What if I don't," Raven grimaced, "if I can't," Her hand moved in a circle in the air as she struggled with what to say, sex? Make love? "before I have to leave?"

"Then you'll be the first lover I never made love to since I was about fourteen." Drahke touched her hand. "And that would still be okay."

"Okay." Raven repeated it softly. "Okay." She repeated her response. It was okay if she didn't heal fast enough.

…………..

"Your pretty girlfriend move in with you?" Terrance's voice interrupted her reading and Raven looked up from her book. "That's the third time I've noticed a woman leave your apartment when I didn't see her get there." He grinned at her.

"She's just staying over more often." Raven didn't admit that it was still just cuddling between them when the boy gave her a congratulatory look. Drahke had taken to staying over every other night.

Raven glanced toward his apartment, where the door was still opened.

"Dad is at work." Terrance muttered, a little more deflated as he moved to sit beside her on the grass. "How did your parents take you being gay?" He asked softly. Raven wished she had a good answer for him. She was kicked out more because she was a mutant, but no one had been thrilled about her being a lesbian either.

"Sometimes," Raven paused and took a deep breath, "Sometimes you have to make your own family because the one you were born into just doesn't fit anymore." Tessa had been hers, so had the other Xmen, and she'd been forced to leave them and try and make her own family yet again. That response got silence for a while.

"So, what's your girlfriend's name?"

"Drahke." Raven answered while watching his slight grin with a bit of apprehension. He reminded her of Bobby a little bit.

"Becky?"

"Drahke."

"Trekkie?"

"Smart ass." Raven smiled at him and shook her head. She started to stand up and stretch. "Wanna go to a movie?"

"Wouldn't you rather go with Trekkie?" He smiled big.

"She's busy." Drahke had errands to run and then she had to work, but Raven had the day off. "So?"

He looked a bit embarrassed, "I don't really have any money." She didn't think he did.

"I asked you out." She spoke more softly. "I knew I'd pay."

"Ah, okay." He glanced back at his apartment, "but I have to be home by six."

"No problem." Raven pulled out her apartment keys. "Meet me in twenty minutes at my apartment and we'll go. I need to change first." He was most likely sneaking out against his dad's orders, but she couldn't bring herself to care what that bastard of a father wanted.

They were in luck. It must have been the first day that Men in Black didn't have a line up all the way into the parking lot. She bought the tickets and found herself looking around a bit. The last time she'd gone to the movies with someone it was Ororo, well and Christy.

Both of them were grinning big when the movie ended. Raven's experience with fighting was limited, but she doubted any of the others had been such smart asses while faced with something like that giant bug. The music playing outside of the theater grabbed her attention. "Men in black…" She started to sing along while grinning at Terrance, she wiggled her fingers when they got to the line about no fingerprints, but then she noticed Terrance was looking at her a little strangely, not like she'd lost her mind, but like he was seeing something incredibly strange he just couldn't understand. She didn't think she was playing too much, but she stopped.

"Have time for a late lunch?" It might be early dinner to most people, but she was still on night owl hours.

"Ah," He stammered, "I should just get home." Raven looked at him in concern. He looked a little pale.

"Okay." She smiled gently. "I had fun, maybe we can do this again?"

"That would be good." He gave her a weak smile and didn't volunteer what was wrong. She didn't push, but she did look around at the other people to see if any of them had caused this. She didn't see anyone looking their way.

…………..

"This sucks." Raven complained quietly as Drahke brushed her hair in the bathroom.

"This is just the way it is. You knew that when you asked me out." Drahke sighed. "If it means anything to you, I don't like it either."

"I just like sleeping with you." Raven sat down heavily on the bed. "I sleep better when you're here."

"Well, I'd offer to let you sleep in my room, but Lois would have a fit." Drahke turned and stepped into the room with a smile. "But if you don't mind the others teasing you, you could hire me for an hour during your lunch break." Raven grimaced as she imagined the teasing she'd get for that. The bets on what she'd ordered would be flying across the brothel in no time and a few of the ladies would start lining up for her if it were slow just as a joke. No, that would be an embarrassing mess. Even though Drahke was teasing Raven noticed her hold on the hair brush was a little tight.

"No, it's okay. I knew it would be like this, I'm just spoiled." Raven smiled gently and got up to hug Drahke, to reassure her it wasn't an insurmountable problem. "I'm sorry I'm complaining."

"It's okay. These long shut in hours bother me too, but that's just how it works."

"Yeah, well at least I get to see you." Raven stepped back. "You better finish getting ready."

Raven didn't work Drahke's first day back at the brothel and once the woman left she found she had little to do. After an hour and a half of nothing she got in her car and drove to Lady Heather's. She could at least work on the background of the painting if Lady Heather was too busy. It was the biggest painting she'd ever attempted and was not as close to done as she'd like. Raven wanted to finish it so that they'd get paid the rest of what Heather agreed to. Raven wanted to do something special for Drahke, she wasn't sure what, but she knew that money would help.

It was still early when she got there, a few hours before business picked up, but Raven noticed a few cars in the driveway. Her own car slowed as she thought perhaps she should have called, even though Heather said she could drop by anytime. Raven got out of her car slowly as she noticed another woman walking up the driveway to the door dressed in jeans and a button up shirt, but she swore it was one of the Mistresses.

"Um," Raven stammered as she moved to catch up with the woman. She was a little nervous and hated how she found her eyes not looking the woman in the face again, she fought that impulse and looked into curious eyes. "What's going on?"

"Your Lady Heather's little sub aren't you?" The woman asked her and Raven blinked in shock.

"I'm Raven and she's commissioned a painting from me." Raven kept her eyes on the woman when she said that a little forcefully. Did they all think she was Lady Heather's submissive?

"Oh." The woman seemed to rake her eyes over Raven's body. "I just saw you with her and Drahke and assumed. I apologize."

"It's okay." Raven waved it off more easily than she thought she would. Lady Heather would be a gentle Mistress. Raven had seen enough of her to be able to tell now. She didn't know what type of Mistress Drahke would be. Raven's girlfriend never acted like a Mistress around her. Raven shook that thought out of her head. "I was just stopping by to work on the painting, but if it'll be busy…"

"Oh, it's just a fashion show. One of the subs is into fashion design and he's showing us some of the work he has available." The woman smiled. "The latest in Leather and Domination wear."

"Rachel," Lady Heather's voice interrupted them and Raven turned to see Lady Heather looking a little surprised to see her for just a moment. "Raven, what a surprise."

"I didn't realize you had plans already." Raven glanced at the cars.

"Oh please come in." Lady Heather held the door opened. "Is there any reason for this visit?"

"I thought I'd work on the painting."

Lady Heather moved to close the door after Rachel walked past and then down the hall. "We're having a bit of a fashion show. Would you like to join us? It might be… arousing," Lady Heather smirked at her, "artistically speaking, it might inspire you. Women in leather after all." Her voice dropped. "If you see anything that you think Drahke should look at make a note of it. She hates missing these meetings." Raven blushed at the gentle teasing.

She was actually having a bit of fun as the three Mistresses that were roped into playing models showed off the clothes. There was laughing and joking from the Mistresses and they didn't seem nearly as intimidating when they weren't playing the role. The man showing the clothes and talking about them was just a little submissive seeming, not like she'd have expected from him either. He didn't seem weak or like he wanted punishment. She found herself watching him, noting the occasional blush or the way he'd look down when some of the women asked him a question. It was familiar behavior, she'd found herself doing those things.

"Mistress?" His voice startled her out of her unseeing staring to see him looking at her. "You have a question?"

"No." She answered, but she didn't add the smile she'd normally do when caught staring. He seemed to bow his head to her and it reminded her of Tessa when she submitted to Emma. He was well practiced in doing that. Raven noticed a slight movement out of the corner of her eye and saw Heather watching her. Raven bowed her own head and sat back a bit more against the couch she was leaning against as she sat on the floor. There wasn't enough seating for all the Mistresses and she'd found herself taking the floor without even thinking about it when she came in. It was surprising to her he'd call her a Mistress when she felt like her move to take the floor was a glowing sign that she wasn't.

Once the show was over, a few women left to get ready for work and a lot more of them left. Lady Heather stood with the man and waved Raven over to talk with them. "I'd like to order her some leather pants, low riding to show off her abs, which I hear are nice." Raven found herself the center of attention. "Maybe a leather halter."

"I don't want new clothes."

"Raven, you are always welcome here, but when we are open you have to admit your jeans stick out a little too much." Lady Heather started to look at some binder he had, most likely his inventory. "It ruins the atmosphere if not everyone fits the mold, and I'd never ask you to dress as a submissive, so I want to buy you a little leather." Lady Heather looked up. "It wouldn't hurt to see how the other half lives. You might find that inner Mistress I get glimpses of occasionally. I'm beginning to think you might be a switch, all it takes is a paintbrush in your hand and you command the room."

Raven wanted to protest, but it made a lot of sense. If she was the only one in regular clothes it might ruin the fantasy they were selling here. "I don't want to be," She struggled for the politest way to say it, "as undressed as the others." Lady Heather gave her a small smile and started to outline her idea. Raven tried to pay attention to her more than the man that was suddenly taking her measurements. She did flinch a little when he went to measure her bust size.

"I'd never let anything inappropriate happen in my club." Lady Heather spoke to her, before her voice hardened. "Move quickly and move on." She demanded of the man, who did just that. A leather halter with buckles, a duster for cold nights, and black leather pants were ordered. Lady Heather also ordered Raven a pair of boots with two inch thick heels.

"Mistress, I should have these in a few days. I have most of these in stock." The man addressed her and Raven just nodded, not willing to explain how she was going to be a sheep in wolves clothing.

"I heard that you've become more dominate at your other job." Lady Heather spoke to her once they were alone. "Drahke told me how some of the submissive men have been rather eager to please you. It's good to hear you're getting in touch with your power." When Heather talked about power Raven first thought about her mutation, but that wasn't the kind of power Heather always talked about. "Now did you need me to model?"

"If you're busy I could work on the background." Raven hadn't called first after all.

"Can I work in my office while you do that Lady Raven?" Lady Heather teasingly sounded like a submissive. It made Raven smile a little.

"Yes, you may." She spoke like it was an allowance she was giving.

Four days later Lady Heather called her to come and try on the clothes as soon as possible, and two days later Raven was able to go in. In spite of her misgivings, it looked good, not too wild. She'd probably get strange looks at the store if she went dressed like this, but she was very conservatively dressed compared to the others at the club. Her boots had something on the heel to make them click authoritatively as she walked, and the duster flapped a little if she was walking fast. Raven smiled at the reflection and noticed Heather watching her.

"That looks good. Commanding." Lady Heather walked around Raven slowly, studying her, and Raven froze, not moving at all while Lady Heather did that. "I could almost hire you, looking like that, but you still freeze like a submissive when I do this." Lady Heather stopped in front of her. "And it would look odd to have a Mistress walking around with a sketchpad all the time. You know where your power comes from now. Learn to apply it at other times."

"I thought I just needed to blend in?"

"I still want you to see your own power. You are getting there." Lady Heather tilted her head a little. "Imagine you're thinking of drawing everyone you see here. Look at the submissives like they are potential art. When you do that you have the right look." Was she supposed to play at actually being a Mistress here? That wasn't what she was being paid for, Raven thought with a bit of panic. "Just to maintain the illusion. We sell fantasy here, and I don't want anything to disrupt that. Just when you see a submissive in the halls, act the part. You don't need to talk to them or actually BE a Mistress."

"Okay." Raven nodded and practiced the look on Heather, who gave her an amused smile in return.

……………

The phone rang around two and Raven set her lunch down to answer it, expecting Heather or Drahke. "Hello Raven."

"Oh no." Raven's shoulder's slumped.

"Nice to hear from you too dear." Irene sounded a little put out.

"No it's not that." Raven felt a little bad about her immediate response. "I have to move don't I? Are they here?"

"I just called to tell you its time to put in your two week notice." Irene sounded sympathetic. "No one suspects you are in Vegas right now, and if you leave before they notice you may be able to visit once in a while."

"But if no one knows, why can't I just stay?" Tears of frustration filled her eyes. "I'm happy Irene. I'm happy here." Her voice cracked.

"I'm so sorry dearie." Irene spoke gently as tears trailed down Raven's cheeks. "But you'll need to move soon or you'll be discovered."

Raven just nodded, even though that wasn't a good phone response. She knew this day was coming. "Two weeks?"

"Yes, you'll need to be out of Vegas before September." Irene paused. "I left you as long as I could, I even had Mystique pose as you in a few cities to draw attention away from that part of the country."

"Thank you." Raven took a shuddering breath.

"Make love to your girlfriend." Irene told her quietly. "You'll regret it if you never do, and you are stronger than you think. She's sensitive enough to know what you need, and time isn't always on your side." Irene sounded upset.

"Are you okay?" Raven asked, concerned. There was silence on the other end for too long.

"You already heard it from Christy." Irene paused, seemingly to catch her own tears. "But I'm not well. I went to the doctor, hoping that perhaps this once my vision was wrong, but it wasn't. I'm dying dear. I knew it, but still, it's hard to hear."

"Oh Irene." Raven's tears started again.

"I can't tell Mystique. There is too much I need to take care of before I go and she'll want to make me take it easy."

"She loves you." Raven could remember a completely different Mystique crying about this woman's death, Christy's memory. "She wouldn't want you going through this alone."

"I know what I'm doing and if you see her I ask that you respect that." Raven wanted to argue, but she stopped herself.

"I can be there for you." She offered. "If you need someone to talk to or help."

"You are such a sweetie." Irene's voice cracked. "Just live your life to the fullest Raven. When it's all over it never feels like there was enough time." Raven didn't know what else to say and she felt horrible that she couldn't just have the magical words to make it all better. "I'll be mailing you a few things before you go." Irene's voice softened, "I'm glad you liked Vegas. I hoped you would. I just want what's best for you."

"Why?" She'd wondered that before.

"I may be blind, but I see a lot." Irene's chuckle sounded fake. "You are a wonderful girl. Someone I'd want as part of my family, and like you told that young boy, we have to make our own families. I also hope," Irene paused, "That if Mystique needs you that you'll be there for her. My death is going to hit her hard, and I don't see Rogue being there for her. There aren't a lot of people she might trust with her pain, but in at least one world a Mystique found your double trustworthy. I'll admit I'm hoping here she might see you that way as well, and if you two…" Irene paused. "I'm rambling. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Raven told her gently.

"The future isn't written in stone, it has too many variations, but I want you to know I don't see any possibilities for you that I don't support." It sounded like something so very important, but Raven didn't understand and didn't think Irene would clarify.

"Okay." She'd remember. That was all Irene probably wanted from her.

"I'll arrange for you to be taken care of. I'll still arrange new identities for you, enough to keep you moving and free." Irene's voice was quieter. "I'm sorry that you'll be moving around for a while. You can't stop until you break out of your cocoon." Raven's eyebrows drew together at the wording of that. She thought she was starting to do that. She was more open to other people again. "And it may be painful, but transitions often are."

"What are you talking about?"

Irene let out a loud breath. "Too much. I'm sorry dear, I'm caught in a vision. I really should hang up and write it down."

"Okay."

"I love you child. Take care." Raven heard that as she was hanging up and she teared up again. Even if she wanted Irene to be a mother figure, the woman was dying. It was so sad that Raven could see herself giving Irene that role more easily than her own mother at this point.

Even though she'd hung up she spoke out loud. "I love you too." Irene's powers were strange. She might have heard that.


	24. Hellfire 2 Part 5

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven felt like hell as she parked her car at the brothel. She even considered calling in sick and telling Lois, by the way I'm quitting, consider this my notice, but the woman deserved more than that.

Drahke also deserved to hear it from her first and not as an announcement that they'd be advertising for a new floor maid. Drahke was working for the entire week. It seemed like wasted time to Raven, time they couldn't be together.

She did love Drahke. Not like she'd loved Tessa and she couldn't love anyone like she loved Christy, but Drahke was special and she deserved a lover that wasn't on the run. It was a shame she couldn't be that.

She came into the brothel and passed the parlor, looking to see if Drahke was there, but she wasn't. With a heavy sigh she made her way to the office, where she found Jonathan working quietly. She didn't bother him as she grabbed the log to see that Drahke had been picked in a lineup about twenty minutes ago and from what he ordered it would probably be a little while before Raven's lover was free.

Part of her wanted to just storm down the hall and yank him out of there. She put the book down on the desk again a bit harder than necessary and ignored the old man's questioning look. Drahke had to hear it first. Raven barely glanced at the book she was supposed to read when she got into work, barely taking note of how business had been that day.

The buzzer signaled her time to think was gone. Raven just nodded to Jonathan and turned to get the door. She barely glanced at the monitor before opening the door and letting him in.

She blamed her distraction and cursed herself once a large man in dirty jeans and a partly unbuttoned shirt walked in a little unsteadily and yelled out, "Bring me the Whores!"

The women didn't move and Raven's back stiffened up as she glared at him. She was supposed to screen the men for obvious drunken behavior and keep them out. She'd fucked up and he was in causing a scene. He started to make a move towards Lace and Raven stepped into his way. "You are obviously drunk. You will have to leave."

His eyes narrowed at her. "I came for whores." His voice rose again with that damned word, none of the prostitutes like its, "I'm here for WHORES." She heard the growl but didn't pay attention to the fact that it was hers. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she stepped closer to him.

"You will leave now or you will be tossed out." Her fists clenched, pissed at men like this and herself for not seeing this mess coming.

"Little lady like you," He shook his head, "Listen sister…"

Sister, little sister… Another more feminine voice echoed in her head for a moment and this time she grabbed the anger and not the fear it invoked. Raven reached out and grabbed his hand, bending it back painfully in a hold Logan had taught her once when they were out at a bar. He always liked such rough bars, and the men there never knew how to treat a woman with respect. "I can break it easily." Her voice was cold as she told him that, while watching with some satisfaction as his knees started to bend.

"Bitch." He tried to swing backwards, but he couldn't reach her. Raven looked up at a few shocked looking prostitutes.

"Door." She stared at Lace as she said that and the woman moved carefully around her and the flaying and cursing man to open it. Raven increased the pressure on his arm and pushed toward the door.

"Move or I'll make you wish you had." She spoke between gritted teeth. She could hear the heavy footsteps of the bartender coming their way. This physical stuff was supposed to be taken care of by the men. Raven gave a feral smile as she braced herself and put her foot on the man's ass, kicking him out the door and actually getting good distance with him. "You are no longer welcome here." She told him as he worked to stand up. He found his wrist wasn't much help in that, it would take a while for it to heal from the strain she put on it. Raven slammed the door with a curse. "Fucking assholes. Should have kicked him harder. I'm so sick and tired of men that think they can…"

"Raven." A voice broke her tirade. Raven looked up to see Lois staring at her and the other women were starting to grin, a few laughed a little.

"My god Lois. I didn't know you hired a wrestler to play floor maid." Ebony spoke.

"Did you see how she had him hopping around so she didn't break his arm?" Another woman sounded impressed.

Raven straighten up and sighed. "I'm sorry I let him in." She told the women in the parlor. She glanced at the monitor and was grateful to see him walking away.

"That's fine Rambo, you took care of it." Jewel teased her.

"Yes you did." Lois' voice reminded Raven the woman was there. Raven could see the measuring look she was getting from the older woman. "Can I talk with you in the office?"

"Oh, don't get her in trouble for that." Someone called out in her defense.

Once they were alone Lois shook her head. "Irene told me you used to be a superhero, but I didn't really believe her. You really handled that man." Lois finally smiled just a bit, but it faded, "but why didn't you catch he was drunk before he got in?"

Raven sighed. "I was distracted. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, learn from it. We all do it at least once. I found myself opening the door to an obvious kid once, had to tell him to take off we don't serve that young. Must have been his first solo drive in the car." Lois' stance softened. "Why are you distracted? Can I ask?"

"I have to give my notice." Raven had to give up telling Drahke first. She could see Lois was disappointed, but covered it quickly.

"Well, most of our employees are rather temporary. I guess I'd been hoping Irene would forget she gave you to me. You did good here Raven, better than I really thought you would when I met you." Raven was a little surprised when Lois stepped closer and hugged her. "You ever need a job in the future you have one. I'd take you back in a second."

"Thank you." Maybe when she was free to live where she wanted she'd come back. "Can you not tell anyone just yet?"

"Ah yes, Drahke." Lois' voice was soft and sympathetic. "You did tell her a little about your situation?"

"Yeah, she knew I'd have to go at some point."

"I heard her bragging once to the others that she had a lover that understood the job. She wasn't giving out names, but you made her happy." Lois sat back down in her chair and gave Raven an encouraging look. "So many of the girls aren't lucky in love that way."

"This just sucks." Raven stared at the ground and tried to compose herself. This was hurting almost as bad as leaving New York had.

"I'll let you work back here a while. I'll cover the door." Lois stood up. "Should I send her back when she's available?"

"Yeah."

"I heard someone really got in touch with her inner Mistress all over some drunk bastard." A familiar and teasing voice was at the door about forty minutes later. "The girls are impressed. I wanted to yell that you were already taken." It must have showed on Raven's face, because Drahke's smile faded and she stepped in, closing the door behind her right away. "Are you okay?"

"I got that call." Was all Raven could say, and she watched the understanding come to Drahke's eyes.

"Oh, when?"

"Two weeks."

Drahke moved forward and hugged Raven even though Raven was sitting, holding her. When the buzzer went off Raven felt abandoned for just a moment, before she notice Drahke wasn't answering it. "I can miss a few line ups." Drahke caressed her hair. "I knew we weren't long term when we started, but it's been much nicer than I expected." Raven looked up and saw Drahke's eyes were glassy. She stood up and pulled the woman into her arms.

"I'm so sorry."

"No, no." Drahke's voice softened. "I knew you couldn't stay. You never lied to me about that. I thought you were worth it, and you were. I've never had a sweeter lover." Drahke kissed her and Raven found her body answering with passion, pulling Drahke closer. "Oh baby, not here." Drahke pulled away gently. "Not here. I don't want to sully it by doing it here." Drahke caressed her hair and Raven blushed, but leaned into the touch. "Of course you'd finally want me when I'm trapped here."

"I always wanted…" Raven felt a bit stunned that Drahke wouldn't know that.

"No I understand." Drahke smiled, "but you weren't ready. Are you now?"

Raven's eyes stared into Drahke. "I don't want to go without ever…" She looked away, "Drahke."

"It's okay." Drahke kissed her gently. "Two weeks. I'll call Heather and cancel my appointments for next week and we'll make the best of the time we have." Raven tensed a little. "Even if that's cuddling and watching movies. Finish up your commissions this week, because I only have you for one more week and I plan to make it count."

……………………..

The place really did look like a mansion, Raven thought again as she got out of the car. The leather made a bit of noise as she walked toward the door. A man nodded to her subtly as she passed him and Raven barely acknowledged him. It had seemed rude in the beginning, but she was getting used to it.

She walked with a long stride down the hall and then up the stairs. Her eyes stayed on her destination. When a submissive walked into her path he asked permission to pass. It seemed like a time waster, but she just nodded and didn't bother speaking to him. Finally she made it to Lady Heather's office and she reached out to open the door.

Voices surprised her. "And I assure you officer the only sex that happens on these premises is in the rooms I rent to couples. We are not violating our permits." There was a pause and Lady Heather spoke again, "Satisfaction comes in many different forms officer, not all releases are sexual." Raven closed the door and moved a few steps away. Lady Heather had a fight on her hands.

The submissive with the tray was coming her way and Raven made a decision she probably would get talked to about. "Slave." She hated saying that, which was why she rarely talked to the submissives. She took a long stride toward the girl. "I'll take that." She looked at the tray in the girl's hand. Whoever went in that room right now might get interrogated and this submissive seemed nice enough, but Raven had never heard her say enough to tell if she had a brain.

"That is Lady Heather's snack." The girl sounded a bit concerned with the odd behavior. Raven smiled reassuringly at her.

"I know, and I'll take it to her." If Lady Heather weren't diabetic she'd say it could wait, but the Lady might have ordered this for a reason. Raven stood taller when that didn't send the submissive away. "You are dismissed." She commanded and watched as the girl bowed to her and turned to leave.

Raven knocked on the door this time and waited to be invited in. "I've brought your snack Mistress." Raven spoke as she entered the room, keeping her eyes down a little, but taking in the officer in the chair across from Heather easily. He seemed a bit uptight about being there.

"Thank you Raven." Lady Heather motioned that Raven could put it on the desk. Raven looked up into Heather's eyes.

"You work here?" The man spoke to her brusquely. Raven continued looking at Lady Heather, waiting for permission to talk and noticed the slight hint of a smile on Heather's face when she did that.

"You can answer the man Raven."

Raven turned to look at him and noticed her snub had irritated him. Well it was childish, but she didn't like the disrespect he was showing Lady Heather. Her eyes traveled to the mostly done painting she'd come to work on in the corner and then back at him. "Yes."

"What do you do here?" He looked at her like she was a mutant and he didn't even know. Apparently the Dominant submissive thing made no sense to him.

"I walk around in leather, treat people rudely, and make people stay in the same position for a long time, until they ask for mercy." She gave him a slight smile.

"Do you ever touch any of the clients in a sexual way?" His eyes stared at her like he'd love to attack.

She did touch Lady Heather, but it wasn't sexual she just needed to readjust her pose. "I don't need to."

"Is that all you had to ask officer?" Lady Heather took back control of the conversation. She didn't dismiss Raven so Raven moved to stand at Heather's right side and looked down like a proper submissive. He fidgeted. She'd picked the right role to make him want to leave. Apparently he must have nodded or something because Raven next heard, "Raven will you escort him out please?"

"Yes Mistress."

As she walked him out she noticed his disgusted expression as he looked around. She answered a few other questions that showed he was trying to get her to say she did touch the clients.

"I have never touched anyone here more than moving an arm or leg into position." She told him as she stood holding the door opened for him to leave. "Goodbye." She smiled falsely while closing the door and then moved to be able to see out the blinds and make sure he didn't try to sneak around the back. He got in an unmarked car and drove away.

"You don't need to." Lady Heather's voice had Raven straightening up in surprise. The woman put her hand on Raven's shoulder. "That was a good line."

"Do you get that often?" Raven turned to face the woman.

"Occasionally a man will hear about us and take offense to the idea of Dominant women and come to prove to himself that we are merely prostitutes. It is more inconvenient when that man has a badge." Heather motioned for Raven to follow. "That was the result of a wife that didn't take the news her husband visited here four times last month very well. That is one reason I encourage our clients to be honest with their loved ones about their needs, and tell then that we do hold classes for couples."

"Classes?" She'd never seen that.

"Friday afternoon." Lady Heather held the office door opened for her. "Are you interested in attending?"

Raven was curious but, "I came to tell you that I need to finish your painting. I've got to leave soon."

"Leave," Lady Heather sighed. "as in move on. I wondered how much longer we'd have you. That explains why Drahke called me from the Brothel, she never does that. She never takes time off either."

Lady Heather sat and worked while Raven painted the background. The subject was already done. "I'm going to miss this."

"Sitting and watching me work?"

"Painting." Raven smiled, "and sitting and watching you work."

"Why would you miss it?"

Raven pulled her brush away from the canvas with a sigh. "I can't carry more than three bags wherever I go. Nothing more. I can't own anything, and the thought of just leaving my paintings behind, I can't do that."

Lady Heather was quiet for a moment. "You could ship them to me. I'd be willing to store your work until you can stop running." Raven looked into intelligent eyes. "Again, no one would believe you'd be sending your art to a club like this. You shouldn't have to give up something you love so much, that gives you such strength."

Raven just stared for a moment, "But I can't tell you where I am."

"Send them on your way out of wherever you end up. I know Drahke and I would like to get regular proof you are well. Label them all Leather or Bondage." Lady Heather lightened the mood.

Raven considered it. One way mail. She'd never be able to get mail back, but she'd have to come back to Vegas someday. "Okay." She'd need to go through her three bags again, but she'd bring some of her art supplies when she left, the more expensive things.

"Good." Lady Heather nodded at her. "I should let you get back to work. You might need the commission when you leave."

Raven paused and looked down a little shyly. "I would have done this for you for free."

"No you wouldn't have, not then." Lady Heather smiled. "But I understand. Thank you." Heather paused. "You do know that you would have never posed as my submissive then either. I'm proud of you, you've come a long way." Raven smiled, seeing the truth in Heather's words. It hadn't even hurt to pretend.

……………

Raven stared at her closet, wondering what she could wear. Drahke was going to pick her up and take her out to dinner and dancing. Raven stared at more business attire that wouldn't fit on a dance floor. Her jeans and tshirts weren't nice enough for a date. It was the second date this week, but these had to be memorable. Raven reached into the closet and pulled out her leather pants. She went through every shirt before she settled on a white flowing silk button up shirt, which she tucked in and left unbuttoned as far down as her modesty could handle. After a moment staring at her reflection she pulled the shirt back out of her pants and unbuttoned some of the bottom buttons as well, exposing some of her abs. Drahke liked that.

She stood a little nervously in front of the mirror for a moment, before she decided to just go with it. These were the best clothes she had for this.

The music was loud. Raven found her hand captured by a smiling Drahke and she was pulled past the bar and right onto the dance floor. Dinner had been nice, but Drahke had been very eager to get Raven to this club.

Looking around Raven was a relieved to see a few other same sex couples dancing and her tense back started to relax as she stopped worrying about having to fight some Neanderthal man that had an issue with Raven getting such a pretty girl. Raven smiled a little as Drahke pulled her closer to dance, rubbing against Raven seductively as she swayed to the music.

After dancing it was pretty late. Raven was surprised when Drahke pulled up to an apartment building that she'd rarely been to instead of taking them to Raven's place. "My place was closer." Drahke explained as she shut the car off. Raven just smiled a little and dismissed the strange feeling of discomfort she had at going to an unfamiliar place. Drahke always came to her place after all, so it was fair for Raven to have to go to hers.

Drahke's place was nice, small but nice. Raven wandered over to the entertainment center and the pictures on it. She smiled when she recognized one they'd taken together at the Brothel. Drahke actually had a picture of her in her home. Somehow that said more than the words of affection Drahke gave her. Raven's eyes teared up a bit, hating that she had to leave this love behind. Did it tear Tessa up like this to leave her for a mission? But that was a mission and Raven was running for her freedom, or in the case of the Hellfire club following her, her life. Part of her wanted to say screw it and just stay, but the cost of getting caught was too high.

"No no." Drahke took the picture out of Raven's hand and put it back down. "I worked so hard to seduce you, don't get all depressed on me." Drahke gave her a small smile and used her thumb to caress Raven's collar bone. Raven did her best to push away her negative emotions and pull the earlier good feelings back to her. "This is what always happens," Drahke wrapped her arms around Raven's waist from behind her as they both looked at the picture. "and I want you to relax. Don't think of the past or the future, just be with me in the now."

"You a telepath now?" Raven asked, weakly teasing.

"No, but Lady Heather has rubbed off on me."

Drahke took Raven's hand and started walking backwards, with a seductive smile. "My bedroom is this way, unless you prefer the couch?" Raven felt a bit of fear and Drahke's smile faded. "No pressure. You tell me to stop and I will."

"I don't want to stop." Raven reached out and caressed Drahke's arm. Raven was determined that she wasn't going to pull back tonight. She was going to get over it and be with the woman who'd been so patient with her if she had to force herself past this initial reaction that seemed to always hit her when they started toward the bedroom. She was not going to just cuddle tonight, not again. She wasn't going to look into understanding eyes as she once again pulled away.

Her breath was coming in long gasps as Drahke unbuttoned her shirt for her and slowly lowered the silk shirt off her body. Every gasp she made echoed in her sex as Drahke caressed her pale skin before undoing the clasp on her bra and lowering that as well. Raven didn't speak, didn't move, as Drahke reached around her from behind and unbuttoned the fly of her leather pants. "My Lady Raven." Drahke whispered into her ear before kissing her shoulder tenderly. "Sit so I can get your shoes off." The words were a cross between an order and a request.

Seeing a woman on her knees removing her shoes was familiar, but this time the woman on her knees was free to show her affection in her expression and did. There were no witnesses to this giving, and Raven could tell that was what it was. Her girlfriend was a Mistress, yet she was on her knees. Something about that caused such a tender overwhelming feeling in her heart as Raven watched her second shoe being removed. Mistresses don't kneel and don't use their mouths. All things she'd learned while being degraded herself. Maybe that was why she found it comforting to see Drahke doing those things. Drahke kissed her ankle and then motioned for Raven to stand back up.

"Leather is sexy as hell, but it sure isn't easy to take off fast." Drahke smiled as she lowered the zipper on Raven's pants. Raven stood passively and let her. Her hand moved to caress Drahke's hair as Drahke kneeled again and worked the pants off her feet. Drahke's face was level with Raven's sex and Raven could feel her breath on her.

"Please." Raven whispered as her hand gripped Drahke's hair a little more tightly, imagining pulling Drahke's face to her, but unwilling to actually do it. Consent was very important to her. She didn't want to in any way force Drahke to do something she didn't want to do. Drahke slowly proved she was willing as she leaned into Raven and kissed her sex, her throbbing needing sex.

"See, you're in control." Drahke spoke gently while looking up at her. "YOU are in control." The dark haired woman leaned into her again and Raven couldn't stop her whimper. Drahke seemed to worship Raven with her mouth, she took Raven to the edge and helped her lay down before taking her over it.

Drahke crawled up Raven's body after Raven fell back on the bed panting. "I love how you sound when you come. The little pleadings you mutter, the way you respond." Raven felt her tears falling from the corner of her eyes across her skin. She had responded. Part of her was sure she wouldn't be able to, that Selene and the others had ruined her. "I love that you trusted me this much." Raven rolled over to curl up against Drahke's side while Drahke continued to speak softly, lovingly, to her.

Raven used an arm to push herself up and look down at Drahke. "Can I?" Raven touched the edge of Drahke's shirt, wanting to take the woman's clothes off.

"Anything you want baby." Drahke smiled and put her hands up above her head in a clearly submissive way, almost as if there were invisible bonds holding her there. "Only if you want to."

"Oh I do." Raven gave Drahke a slightly wicked smile as she moved to unbutton the shirt and remove the bra so she could kiss Drahke's breasts, to gently suckle on them. She made love to Drahke slowly, the way Christy had wanted to make love to Emma that first time and wasn't allowed to. Raven cherished the catch in Drahke's breath and the way she made little noises that let Raven know she liked what Raven was doing, she liked that she could hear Drahke when she came.

…………..

Drahke took a sip from her wine glass, the dinner plates still sat on the table. "I've saved up a decent amount." Drahke glanced around her apartment. "I just don't buy much. I'll probably be able to start my own Brothel in a few more years."

"I'm sure you will." Raven smiled at Drahke and the familiar conversations. They talked about the art Drahke wanted Raven to do for her, things she'd like in the Brothel's parlor, her office. It sounded like they had a future, but it was all words and the sadness in Drahke's eyes showed she knew it too. For a little while they pretended that Raven would be there when Drahke's dream came true.

Raven decided that she would paint for Drahke after she left. She'd send her a painting for her Brothel that would rival the work she'd done for Lady Heather. It wasn't like she wouldn't remember every curve of her lover's body for a long time to come. Her work with Tessa when they used to train together and Raven's art made her very good at visualizing details like that without needing the model all the time.

They moved to the couch and Raven leaned on Drahke as they watched tv for a little while, more interested in the heartbeat under her head than the dialogue on the screen. When a commercial started to play Drahke caressed her hair. "Let's just go to bed." Drahke whispered into her hair and Raven didn't feel any nervousness at the idea anymore. They'd been having sex for a few days now and each time they did it was a little easier than the last. Raven couldn't help panicking at times, but Drahke helped her through it tenderly.

………………

The knock on the door was a surprise and Raven looked through the window before opening it to the UPS man. The large box sitting on the ground was confusing, but she just signed for it and pulled it inside. She had to turn the stove down on breakfast before moving back to the box. Irene's familiar scrawl made Raven relax.

She could hear the shower and knew that Drahke was just stepping into the water. "What are you up to now Irene?" Raven spoke quietly, still partly convinced that Irene would hear her somehow. The bag dangled from her hand after she'd pulled it out. Raven set it down and reached in for another, larger bag, which felt a little too heavy. She opened it to find an envelope and yet another piece of luggage. Irene had sent her three pieces of luggage. Raven glanced through her bedroom door at the mostly packed set she already had, then back at the new black set.

The letter was hand written, somehow. Raven just shook her head at yet more evidence that Irene wasn't nearly as blind as she appeared.

_Dear Raven,_

_I enclosed a key to a safety deposit box. On your way out on Friday stop by the bank on the tag and pick up your new identity and plane tickets. I know you are puzzled by the luggage, but it will be pretty self explanatory very soon._

_I want you to know your words of support were very welcome. I appreciate your willingness to listen, and I'm sorry that I burdened you with my problems. I've set up an apprentice of sorts with my work for the next ten years, all behind Mystique's back so please don't mention it to her yet. I'll let her know about this myself in the future. I tell you this just to let you know I've arranged to take care of you, that you'll still get letters from me even after I'm gone. I spend a lot of time writing lately, so don't be too disappointed if the letters after I die are rather short and to the point. I don't have nearly enough time to tell you each and every time how much I am proud of you, so I'll just do it now. I'm proud of you child, and I'll be proud of you ten years from now, even twenty, but you'll not be getting letters then. Your strength is an inspiration. I had worked hard on setting up a good situation for you in Vegas, but really, if it weren't for your trust and your strength, I might have done more harm than good. _

_You inspire this old woman child. Don't ever stop living life to the fullest, you miss it when it's gone._

_Oh look at me, getting all dark and depressed again. Nevermind me. _

_I know you want to spend all your time with your pretty young woman, and yes I do know you are spending some very quality time with her, but perhaps you should get out of the apartment for a little while if just to give your body a rest._

Raven just chuckled at Irene writing to tease her about Drahke, but her eyes were a little glassy as she finished reading the letter. Irene really would have been a wonderful mother to have. Rogue didn't know how lucky she was. Raven put the luggage in the corner and went back to making breakfast while trying to figure out what the luggage meant. Was Drahke supposed to leave with her? Raven hoped not, because as nice as it would be to not be alone, Drahke had such big dreams and Raven didn't want to take them away from her.

…………………..

"I need to go." Drahke told her again while kissing her. "The girls want to throw you a party and I'm supposed to get some things since I'm not working." Drahke gave Raven a small grin. "Act surprised and don't kick them for making me leave you alone all afternoon. I'm taking you back to the Brothel after dinner, and I'm supposed to claim I'm dropping off something for Lacey."

"A party." Raven sighed. She did have friends there, but she didn't feel up to a party. She'd rather spend that time with Drahke, or Drahke and Heather. She was closer to them.

"The turn around on Madams and other staff is high." Drahke caressed her cheek. "You should be honored. We don't complain this much when the others leave. You might have come to us scared and shaking, but you'll be missed and the girls just want to make sure you know that."

"Okay." Raven sighed. "Oh, I like chocolate cake."

"You assume you'll warrant a cake." Drahke winked at her and got in the car.

"And I wasn't shaking." Raven called out as Drahke started to pull out, grinning at her lover. She couldn't say she hadn't been scared.

"Hey Raven." Terrance's voice had Raven turning away from watching Drahke drive away with a stupid soft smile on her face to see the boy standing a little shyly near the stairs. Raven hadn't seen as much of him as she thought she would lately.

She had to tell him she was moving. She stared at him a moment, suddenly seeing another problem with that. She was looking out for him, but when she left who would? He didn't even realize the little things she did to make sure he wasn't put on the streets. She checked on him subtly. "Terrance," Raven glanced at her watch. "Want to go get lunch?"

Raven would have to send a thank you to Lois for giving her this week off. The older woman knew that Drahke and Raven needed this time, and Raven hadn't felt this good in a long time. Maybe she'd pick up a thank you card today before the surprise party.

"I don't know." He glanced toward his apartment nervously and Raven felt uneasy with the fear in his body language. "Just a little while?" Raven was willing to bet he was grounded.

While watching Terrance talk during lunch Raven couldn't help but think about Bobby. The boy reminded her of when Bobby was younger, not that he grew up all that much in the years they knew each other, but in the beginning Bobby had a nervous quality to his teasing. It just made Raven more protective over Bobby, and now it looked like she was transferring that a bit to Terrance.

Lunch was almost over and she still hadn't told him she was moving away. The boy had been rather reclusive lately, and really this was the first chance she'd had to tell him. Raven would have knocked on his door if she hadn't seen him today, instead of just disappearing on him.

They walked out of the restaurant and Raven smiled when she noticed the older man strumming on a guitar near a fountain. His voice was a little off, but he looked happy as he sang and people slowed down to listen.

A song started up strongly and Raven gave Terrance a teasing grimace as talking normally became difficult over the sound, but her half smile faded when she watched Terrance go suddenly pale.

The boy's hands shook and when his hands started to glow in swirls of purple. Mutating, the boy was mutating. "We need to…" She spoke quickly while reaching out for his arm and hoping whatever was happening wouldn't hurt either of them.

"AHH…" Terrance's scream was loud and painful and suddenly darkness shot out of his hands and Raven jerked to the side to avoid getting hit.

Her eyes were wide as she watched a scene develop, partly transparent the singing man suddenly had a younger double. The man's voice faded in shock at the scene shaping into him and a woman laughing on a riverbed, and when the music stopped so did the illusion. "How did…"

She turned to give a pale and terrified Terrance a warning look, begging with her eyes for him to play along. "We need to get out of here." She spoke quietly to him.

"Oh my god," His voice cracked and he was clearly panicking. Raven reached out and grabbed his arm, while noticing the glow to his hands had faded.

"We need to go." Her voice was commanding and she grabbed her bag with her other hand while dragging him along with her to the car. They had seconds before…

"MUTANT!" The music man screamed and Raven started to drag Terrance along with her faster.

"Get in the car." She called out to him as she raced for the car and unlocked it. "Lets go, lets go!" She spoke a little louder, trying to get through his shock. She didn't even wait for him to finish closing his door before starting to drive, but he had it closed before they got out of the parking lot.

"Terrance," She tried for soothing, but it came out a bit harsh. She made an effort to soften her voice some more. "you're a mutant."

"Yes." He seemed to be trying to sit on his hands.

"So am I." She remembered the type of fear he'd be feeling now, the panic and confusion. She didn't want him also thinking she'd attack him for it. "What did you do?"

He looked so scared, his eyes pleading with her to make it okay. "I've never done that before. When people sing, sometimes I see things, but I've never done that."

Raven zipped in front of a car and turned onto a different street while checking to see no one was following. She wasn't going to drive right back to the apartment until she knew it was safe. "What do you see?" She asked, her voice calmer than she felt. If things got ugly she wasn't the best mutant to face it. The other Xmen were better prepared, more powerful. She had no backup and a frightened boy.

"I don't know. When you sang I saw you running and laughing while a redhead chased you and things seemed to fly at you."

Raven's eyebrows drew together as she tried to make sense of that. She barely remembered singing around him, and for his power to work on her it wasn't telepathy. "I need more detail than that." Redhead could be Jean, but the rest didn't make sense. Why would he see Jean?

"You looked younger and were wearing a weird jumpsuit." Her uniform. The guitar man looked at least ten years younger in that illusion.

"Could you be seeing the past?" Raven asked and glanced over at him. "Is it only when people sing?"

"What does it matter? My dad is gonna kill me." His shoulders slumped.

……………

The next morning Raven pulled Drahke into a desperate kiss while her luggage sat on the sidewalk. She ignored anyone that might be watching. "I'm so sorry." She whispered into Drahke's hair.

"I'm not." Drahke hugged her tight. "I'm not at all. You be careful."

"I will." The trunk slammed shut and Raven glanced over at the nervous looking boy as he picked up one of his bags and started towards them a little nervously. Drahke didn't follow them in and Raven couldn't resist looking back one more time to see Drahke just watching her leave.

"Last chance to change your mind." She spoke softly, feeling very old.

"I don't have anywhere else to go." Terrance stared at his own hands, which looked normal now.

"Well Terrance, I hope you like California." She sighed. Now she'd condemned someone else to this life on the run.

"You didn't tell her where we're going."

"It's not safe to tell people." Raven stared into his eyes, hoping he'd understand the seriousness. "You'll never know where we're going until we're already moving out."

Irene's box of luggage made more sense when the news reported the mutant in the area, complete with a halfway decent sketch of Terrance on the six o'clock news. Raven had a partner now, because she wouldn't send him to the Professor, and she couldn't trust the boy's father to keep him before, he'd never keep Terrance now, not with the boy's power starting to go out of control and grow. She was going to have to teach him how to use his powers and how to keep them from taking over when people sang. If she could just teach him that he might have a chance to survive.

………………..

Raven looked at the painting one more time, before pushing it into the large box. It had taken her months to finish it since her life had been unbelievably busy with a teenager to train, and that and some other things had kept her from painting for far too long. She'd taken huge risks having it mailed to her future homes twice as she was forced to move, but it was done. Drahke stared back from the large canvas. She'd mail it off to Drahke when they got the next call to move.

Raven rolled her shoulders and walked out of the garage to take a deep breath of the early spring air. She pulled the sleeves of her long sleeve shirt down over her wrists after they'd ridden up. Vancouver Canada was really very pretty in the spring.

The mail man pulled up and opened her mailbox. Raven just waited, watching as he put the mail in. When she pulled it out a few minutes later she noticed Irene's familiar handwriting and smiled.

She opened it after she set the other mail on the table and the shakiness of the writing inside concerned her.

_Dear, Dear Raven,_

_I love you child, don't ever forget it. _

_By now I should have died on a mission. Since I was going anyway I decided to take the chance to save my lover. I'm sorry to leave you a letter like this, especially after I told you how rude it was to do so. A letter just doesn't capture everything I want to say about how you've brightened my last months._

_I'm sorry to give you such news and then ask for something, but I have a favor to ask of you…_

Raven read on, tears streaming down her face, the words blurred.

Three days later Raven stood on the deck of the cruise ship unseen as she watched a familiar woman in an unfamiliar form toss ashes into the ocean. Raven stared as the ash floated in the air, horrified that a life could be reduced to that. She didn't even notice the other woman turn or her eyes narrow.

"What are you doing here?" Mystique's voice was cold and Raven's eyes focused to see the tear marks on Mystique's cheeks, but her expression was guarded.

"I loved her too." Raven took a shuddering breath, "not like you do, but I loved her." In the past year she'd only spent a little time with Mystique. It was always Irene calling her. Irene would never call her again. Large tears started to roll down her cheeks as she looked away from Mystique and back at the water. It was no surprise that Mystique didn't stay to talk. Raven let her walk away. She'd been asked to be here for Mystique, but Raven wouldn't intrude on the woman's grief. If Mystique wanted her, she knew Raven was on board.

Somehow Raven expected to spend this entire cruise alone. Irene had to know it was too soon, and that Mystique had no intention of talking about her pain. Raven stepped into her cabin and closed it with a sigh. She spent a good deal of time in there drawing the woman that had just died.

When her stomach grumbled Raven cleaned the charcoal off her hands and left for dinner.

"She wrote you?" A hissed question in her ear caused Raven's body to tense in shock. She hadn't thought she'd let her guard down so badly someone could sneak up on her. "She had to have. I didn't tell anyone where I was going. I followed her instructions to the letter."

Raven's shoulder's slumped a little and she didn't bother turning to see what form Mystique was taking now. Hopefully this wouldn't descend into an argument. Her dinner was only half eaten but Raven had been paying more attention to her wine anyhow. "I got the letter a few days ago." Raven tilted the last of her third glass into her mouth, savoring the excuse to not talk, even if it wasn't how you were supposed to drink wine.

"Irene told you that drinking like this would kill you." Mystique's voice softened. "You promised her you'd stop."

Raven's smile was humorless. She almost said that if Irene wanted to hold her to that promise she should have stayed alive, but she stopped the bitter, hurt words from coming out. "I wasn't exactly well then was I?" She said instead, bringing up something that she rarely wanted to talk about. "Still, I was pretty surprised that an old woman was able to kick my ass."

Mystique moved to take the seat across from her, pouring herself the rest of the wine from the bottle Raven had bought. That was one way to keep Raven from drinking it. "A five year old would have been able to lay you low." Mystique let out a deep breath. "I hadn't seen Irene that scared in a while. You're lucky she didn't punch you harder for putting her through that."

"Yeah well," Raven looked over the room and the happy faces on vacation. It seemed this table was the only depressed one. This topic was getting too personal. Her hands played nervously with the cuff of her long sleeve shirt.

"If you try that again, you better succeed, because I'll make you wish you had." Mystique's voice was cold. "I had to hold her, comfort her. She blamed herself for not seeing it sooner." Raven's eyes started to tear and she stared at the glass wishing there was something in it still.

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted it to stop."

"What and the drinking and drugs weren't enough?" Raven felt a wave of shame again. She hadn't handled Christmas well and even Terrance still stared at her when he thought she wouldn't see it. He didn't know, didn't understand, how she could have sunk so fast. She was always very careful to make sure he never found out about her last Christmas, even when she worked on training him.

Raven's eyes unfocused as she started to remember the day it all fell apart, it had been building for weeks and she finally crashed just a week before Christmas.

Terrance was at school, they'd given him a new name and a school record somehow. Raven remembered waking up screaming for what felt like the hundredth time that month, visions of the rapes, dreams of Tessa in her place, painful dreams of her friends deaths all kept her from getting more than three hours of sleep a night. The Xmen, her friends, had died in Dallas, the news had replayed their disappearance from that spell Forge did time and again in late September.

Rogue had been one of the ones to die. Raven still remembered Irene's pained and panicked voice on the phone after it happened. The precog tried to say that Rogue still had a future, that it couldn't have been cut so short, that she was still alive, she had to be. Irene hadn't sounded very convinced herself and Raven felt so helpless hearing the mother mourn. They only talked about it once, and then never again. Raven didn't dare reopen Irene's wounds, but she was hurting herself and couldn't tell anyone.

The holidays were meant to be so many things, but they'd become torture. Raven couldn't escape the sounds of Christmas music, it was in all the stores, on all the radio stations, and worse yet, playing often in her neighbors home loud enough for her to hear. It was impossible to avoid it. She took to taking Terrance to the store and staying in the car so she wouldn't pale and look sick in public, and she'd told him she was teaching him about budgeting and money. She'd turned her disability into a life lesson to avoid telling him the truth. She only went in to a store when she needed alcohol.

It was a late morning alcohol run that day. She was even a little drunk while she drove, something Raven used to believe she'd never do, but she did. It was the third time she'd called in sick to her work and she fully expected to be fired soon. They played that damned music all day long and she just was so tired and couldn't face it now. She couldn't face all the Christmas shoppers looking for that perfect book. Couldn't smile and pretend she didn't want to pull her hair out and scream as another vision of what she'd been forced to do to this or that particular song filled her head. Worse was when she saw the couples, the young ones, and thought about what her young sweetheart was up to now. Tessa had been a slave in that place. It wasn't unrealistic to think she'd be the entertainment.

So Raven called into work, her dreams were worse and worse and she just didn't think she could do it. She drove three miles to the liquor store and came out with enough to last her two weeks, which was a lot, while planning where she could hide some of the bottles in her room so that Terrance didn't know how much she was drinking. It took so much more than it used to and she didn't like the worried look on his face. Even with all she was doing she knew this wouldn't be enough to stop the nightmares.

On the way to the car she noticed him. The way the man walked, the way people walked up to him and very briefly talked. Even in her distracted state of mind she noticed the exchange of money and drugs. Raven set her bottled down in the trunk of the car slowly, processing her thoughts. Emma's drugs had helped. They'd made the nightmare she was living more remote. Raven didn't even know what Emma had been feeding her that Christmas, but if she told this man what it felt like maybe he would know.

Raven remembered struggling with her decision, but the sound of music, the decorations, pulled her out of her debates, her self recriminations for even thinking of it and sent her walking like a zombie over to make a purchase. Her middle class look meant she had to work to convince him she was serious, but she used her training to help her.

Raven took the pills as soon as she got home and waited for the pain to leave. She was shocked to find Selene in her living room and Tessa tied down. She couldn't see that there was no way they would just appear like that. She was raped again in that room, by her own bad trip, unable to see it wasn't real.

Tessa, god. Tears filled Raven's eyes as she remembered how her vivid imagination tortured Tessa, how Tessa suffered what Raven had. Selene kept saying that it would stop if Raven just killed herself. Most people used razors for something like that, but Raven grabbed the kitchen knife and tore it through her wrist while crying and yelling and telling Tessa she loved her and she'd stop the pain. Raven barely remembered telling Tessa to run when she could. She barely remembered any of the words she used as she fell to the ground and leaned against the kitchen counter. She'd done it, so why was Tessa still screaming? Selene was supposed to stop. Blood was pooling underneath her.

The loud slam barely drew her eyes up and Raven was stunned to see Irene run right through Selene to her. Raven remembered the pain in Irene's eyes and the way her voice cracked, "Oh god Raven, child, what have you done?" Raven saw Irene find the phone, and she remembered thinking it was amazing how Irene could find it when Raven had tossed it across the room. The tense call to 911 ended and Irene came to her and held towels tightly to her wrists. Raven looked around and saw Selene watching, but Raven couldn't see Tessa anywhere. Maybe Tessa was free, her death bought Tessa her freedom. Raven was so sure she was going to die.

"It's okay. It won't hurt anymore." Raven whispered to the crying old woman in her kitchen.

"Oh god Raven." Tears streamed down Irene's face. "I'm so sorry I didn't see this. I've been failing all my children lately, I'm so sorry." Raven had wanted to protest the guilt in Irene's voice, but the blood loss was too much and she passed out.

Mystique broke Raven out of the hospital early, and she didn't say much to Raven as she did it. Raven remembered being a bit afraid of the woman. Once they got to the new house, which was still in the same city, Mystique just left Raven in the kitchen with Irene and walked away.

Raven remembered feeling horrible and weak. She remembered feeling shame. She also remembered how tense Irene's back was as the woman angrily cut vegetables without talking to her or turning around.

"How could you?" The words were soft and angry. "There wasn't even a letter, not that it would have made a difference. A letter is a horrible way say goodbye, but how could you?" Raven wasn't even given a chance to answer. "God damn you. I already lost Rogue, I've only got a few months to live most likely, I thought it would be nice for one of my daughters to outlive me." Irene's voice was quiet steel, kept down so that Mystique didn't hear her. Raven didn't even know where Terrance was. "And what about that boy you took in? He would have come home and found you. I had to wash the floor, I had to clean up your blood, so that you didn't scar that boy that way. So he wouldn't see how close it was. You're all he has in this world Raven and I had to tell him that you were in the hospital for almost killing yourself."

"I'm sorry." Raven's voice was raspy and weak. She was supposed to be in the hospital a bit longer to recover, but Mystique thought it was tempted fate to stay there. That Raven's suicide attempt might have drawn attention from the wrong people. The slap was a shock, and Raven's head rolled to the side. Her eyes were wide as she looked into Irene's face for the first time.

Irene radiated anger. "Don't you ever do anything like that again." The older woman looked like she was ready to hit Raven again. "No more drinking, no more drugs. I saw a copy of your chart, I know, and you won't ever take drugs again. Promise me." Irene's voice became very loud. "I'm an old woman, you promise me you'll try to live." Her voice was quieter. "You don't throw that away, god damn you. I'd give anything to not… and you just throw it away."

"I'm sorry." Tears had streamed down her face in shame.

"No more drugs. No more drinking." Irene's voice was firm.

"Okay." Raven had no idea how she'd survive, how she'd be able to sleep, without drinking, but Irene had tears running down her face. "Okay."

Raven looked up when Mystique sighed heavily and the other woman's voice lost some hostility. "Are you okay? Did Irene at least arrange to take care of you?"

"I'm fine." Raven watched a woman across the room laugh with her lover, some man that looked at her like he adored her. "She said that she had everything arranged." The woman was kissing him now.

"You do know that I was busy getting information when she had that vision. I came out to find her missing and a short note telling me that Raven needed her." Mystique sighed. "She drove herself to you. It is very hard for her to use her powers in that way and it causes her a migraine every time. My Irene broke into your home alone to find a woman she cared for on the floor bleeding."

"I'm sorry." Raven's eyes teared up. She'd said those words so many times to Irene and Terrance, but Mystique hadn't been around very much, or had been too disgusted to be around her that much at the time. Raven looked away and tried to keep herself from crying.

"And are you okay?" Raven felt the touch on her arm and the meaningful light caress to her covered wrist. It tore her eyes away from the happy people to stare at Mystique. The moment of sympathy and concern in those eyes were a bit of a surprise.

"I'm doing a bit better." Raven turned her hand and held Mystique's, squeezing it softly. "It was just…" Her words failed her yet again. She had a hard time explaining it, explaining the hopelessness. Raven looked at their hands and noticed her own cuff had moved. She could see the angry scar on her wrist. Hopefully in time it would fade.

"She's gone." Mystique's voice cracked, as if finally admitting this to herself. "I find it harder to condemn you for that night, when I find myself wondering if I can do this alone."

Raven took Mystique to her cabin, after ordering another bottle of wine to take with them. Apparently Raven was wrong. Mystique would talk to her about this.

………………


	25. Hellfire 2 Part 6

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Months later Raven stood on the deck and stared out at a beach. Australia in the winter was a wonderful idea. Raven hated the cold and Irene managed to save her from having to deal with snow and ice. It was summer in the middle of winter here. Her neighbors weren't so close she could hear their music. Irene really tried this time and Raven felt some guilt as she noticed every little thing Irene had done in creating this life to make Christmas disappear. Raven watched the sun setting over the water and sighed.

"Raven, there's a lady at the door." Terrance came out to her looking as cautious as she'd taught him to be. He had filled out a bit and Raven thought he really was becoming a man. "She told me she knew you." And that would have caused alarms in either of their minds. "Says she's Raven." He spoke softly, clearly not believing that.

"It's okay." She told him and walked inside the house. Raven smiled at the woman teasing Terrance like that. Mystique stood just outside the front door waiting politely for permission to come in when Raven walked up to her, Terrance trailing behind her. Mystique's disguise was familiar; it was her normal human persona.

Mystique smiled at her. "Hair looks good." Raven blushed and shoved some of her red hair behind her ear. It had grown to her shoulders and sometimes got in her eyes. "I knew red would look sexy on you." Mystique leaned to the side and stared at Terrance with a knowing smile. "Boy sure is growing up."

Raven turned to look at him and his confusion. "Mystique just come in." She could see Terrance's understanding overcome his expression. He'd met Mystique once before, last year around this time, but the woman was in her true form at the time.

"Kid go play video games or something, I need to talk with your mom." Mystique teasingly said mom and Raven just closed the door and nodded to let Terrance know they did need privacy.

"Can I go to the movies?" Terrance asked.

"Sure, take the car." He'd just gotten his license and Raven felt his freedom personally because she had more alone time now while he did more away from home.

Once he was gone Raven lead Mystique into the kitchen of the very nice beach house. "It's been a while." She spoke without any accusations. The fact that it hadn't been a year was more than she'd ever expected, and Mystique had called a time or two. Raven had the feeling Mystique felt some responsibility for her, since Irene had practically adopted Raven.

"Well, its December." Mystique was watching her carefully and Raven tried to hide the tension this month caused her. It hadn't been as bad here, since the weather was so not Christmas. "I didn't want to risk another breakdown since Irene isn't… here to…" Mystique's words trailed off a bit, clearly showing some pain. "She isn't around to warn me if you crash again." Raven leaned back on the kitchen cabinet, unsure what to say to that show of some concern. "I'm sticking around until New Years."

Raven glanced at the fridge. "Would you like something to drink?" She felt cared for, knowing that the spy had to have other things she could be doing. From what she'd seen of Mystique the woman wasn't as opened with her feelings, but just coming here showed she had some. Raven hoped it wasn't all because Mystique felt an obligation to keep Raven alive for Irene.

"I'd love a beer if you have one."

Raven gave Mystique a small smile. "I don't." She shook her head slightly. "No wine or anything else either."

"Good to know." Mystique moved to sit at the kitchen table. "Irene would have been relieved." They shared a glance and Raven held Mystique's eyes. This wasn't all about watching out for Raven. Mystique had brought Irene up a few times already and it hadn't been five minutes. Maybe Mystique needed somewhere to be for the holidays herself.

"I'm glad you came." Raven moved to pull a glass out of the cupboard. "I feel like an ogre not letting Terrance decorate. I finally had to just tell him I had some really bad memories and I couldn't handle Christmas." He'd been surprised, but he'd backed off. Last year she'd just yelled and been rather scary, but then she was drunk or laid up for most of last December. It wasn't really fair that the boy had to skip Christmas, but Raven still got ill hearing the music and seeing the decorations at the stores.

The beach house was only a two bedroom. Raven thought about that while they talked about small things, wondering where she'd put Mystique. The couch wasn't that comfortable and the woman was the only person Raven had in her life that really knew who she was anymore, even more than Terrance. She deserved more than a lumpy couch. Mystique was the only adult that stayed in her life. Raven found that made Mystique more precious to her, that and the fact that Irene had loved this woman. Raven found her eyes traveling over Mystique, looking for evidence that the woman was not doing well. Of course if she found it, it would only be because Mystique wanted her to find it.

"I saw Rogue on TV." Mystique told her and Raven just nodded. She'd seen the Xmen on TV as well, it was months ago though. Somehow they did live. It would have been nice if Irene had known that before she died. "And the Hellfire club had a shake up." Raven swallowed hard and looked away. She'd seen that as well. The New York Times was easy to get and she read it all the time. It was hard to not think of that place as home, and it was sometimes comforting to see articles and figure out the story of what really happened, knowing it was her friends that made the news so often. But seeing the news about the Hellfire club was a mixed blessing. Of course there was no mention of Selene or Sebastian dying. That would have been too perfect. No, it was just random bastards, and children.

Raven didn't like that part of her was relieved the kids were dead, because then she wouldn't have to continue to debate about sending that letter. She'd failed as a hero, but at least the test was over. It made her sick to know that she was becoming so jaded that thoughts like that could even exist. In Christy she could understand it, but Raven didn't like it in herself.

They were getting into bed later that night and Raven did her best to not appear to be fazed by Mystique's long legs, which were hardly covered in the tshirt the shapeshifter put on for bed.

"When was the last time you had a woman this hot in your bed?" Mystique teased her as she slipped into the other side of the bed. Raven had decided that it would be better to share her bed than have either of them sleep on the couch.

She wasn't sure where the bout of honesty came from, because it wasn't really any of Mystique's business, "Almost a year and a half." She hadn't been with anyone since Drahke. It just didn't seem fair to anyone to get involved without telling them it was temporary, and she couldn't trust just anyone with the fact she was on the run. Raven had turned down quite a few women, and she was more and more tempted as time went by, but she couldn't do it. It also didn't help that she'd have to explain why she had trouble with some things. Drahke had just understood, she'd known enough to understand.

"What?" Mystique stared at her in a bit of shock. "That's just criminal." Mystique's eyes traveled over Raven's body as Raven got into the bed. Her head shook. "Criminal." Mystique spoke softly and Raven blushed as she picked up the meaning.

"Well I don't really live a life conducive to relationships." Christy slid into bed.

"Who's talking about relationships? I'm talking about sex."

"I need a little bit more than just sex." Raven sighed and rolled onto her side, facing away from Mystique and facing the door. "I need to trust a lover a little bit more than that."

"Just a little bit? So you aren't holding out for Ms. Right?"

"I just can't settle for Ms. Right Now." She'd wasted years waiting for her Ms. Right and got dumped. Drahke wasn't Ms. Right, she hadn't been long term undying love, but she'd been more than just sex. Their relationship had been just what they'd needed at the time, filled with enough love to overcome the temporary nature of it all. "I wish…" Raven's words trailed off, not wanting to admit to wishing she didn't always have to leave everyone behind. That there was someone she could see more than just for a month or two. It was too much hassle to try and explain herself for just a month or two worth of a relationship. With a heavy sigh Raven told her guest goodnight and turned off the light.

Raven woke up late and noticed Mystique had already left the bed. She barely had time to think about that because she should have woken up a half hour earlier and she tossed her blankets off of her quickly, deciding that she didn't even have time for a shower before work.

Her closet opened to her small collection of clothes and she picked out what Terrance teasingly called her gimme gimme clothes, because he claimed she was dressing up to get bigger tips. Raven always just smiled when he said that, because it was true. She found wearing some clothes, ones that barely were allowed by the dress code, doubled her tips.

Raven grabbed the car keys and left after jotting down her hours on a note in case Mystique came back before Terrance got out of school. She grabbed a cd to play so she wouldn't have to listen to the radio and drove to the hotel.

Raven took a deep breath as she locked up her car in the employee parking lot and moved to the back door. Just in time she slipped into the spa and nodded to her boss.

"You have four lined up today. I put you in room three." Darby told Raven and Raven nodded before going to the office to check in and grab a cd to play. She preferred to work to soft music, but one of the other masseuses kept putting sounds of nature in the player. Rather than suffer a session to crickets Raven always got her cd first thing. The music also helped to keep her on schedule. She knew at what point she was supposed to move through the massage and how long to stay on a task. Since she wasn't actually trained as a masseuse she really relied on her routine and the fact that vacationers weren't likely to notice she was faking it.

Irene's version of training her for this job had been to send Raven to a weekend spa to be pampered, which took some getting used to, but was one of the best birthday presents she'd ever gotten. Sadly it also underlined how lonely she was getting. Terrance was great, but he wasn't a lover and Raven found herself missing a lover's touch. Something she had rarely had in her life, but she ached from its absence now, even as she was nervous about allowing anyone that close. Of course the one thing that had started to really bother her now was the one thing Mystique picked up on the first night she visited. It had been far too long for Raven, far too long.

Raven's mood was slightly improved when she saw the attractive first client. She smiled reassuringly at the young woman. Raven moved the woman's brunette hair off to the side so she could see the smooth skin of the back she would be working on. When they were done, Raven left so her client could dress, but found the woman in the halls afterwards to take her to the cashier. The woman handed over a tip personally, instead of giving it to the cashier to give to Raven later. Raven always felt a little awkward about tips, but she smiled and pocketed the generous tip.

"You don't sound like a local." The woman, an American was Raven's guess, spoke with a soft smile.

Raven thickened her hint of an Australian accent, "You don't think so?" She winked at the woman who was looking at the gimme gimme clothes a bit more closely than most women did. That explained the tip. "I'm not."

"Been here long?"

"Couple months." Raven glanced around to find the cashier missing and the bathroom door closed. It didn't take a superspy to figure out where the woman went. Raven returned her eyes to her client. "It should just be a minute."

"That's fine." The smile was flirtatious. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in showing a girl around town."

Raven heard the water of the bathroom sink turn on and felt some relief that this wasn't going to be drawn out. "I'm sorry. I don't make dates with my clients."

"But you would have been interested?" The brunette asked her while continuing to trail eyes over her. "I can promise to never come back here if you'd like. I wouldn't be a client anymore then."

Raven could tell this was going to be a problem if she didn't stop this here. Her eyes captured the other woman's. "I don't do vacation flings with women I don't know. I'm not a tourist attraction."

"If you were," The brunette spoke more softly, "this resort would be a lot busier." Raven couldn't help but blush at the clear appreciation in the others eyes even though it bothered her.

When that same woman stood there and made another appointment with the cashier for the next day with Raven right in front of her, Raven had to work hard to keep the disbelief off of her face.

After work she returned home to find Mystique looking very relaxed and reading the newspaper on the couch. It was almost like the woman had always been there, because the blue spy sure acted like she was at her own home and had no problem taking it over.

Later that night Raven took her shower and checked her alarm clock so that she wouldn't be rushing around tomorrow like she had that morning. "Any chance you can show me your magic hands?" Mystique's voice was sexual and teasing and Raven found herself blushing again, but at least Mystique couldn't see it. Sexual innuendo was quickly becoming Mystique's bedtime ritual.

"Make an appointment." Was all Raven said, with a slight smile on her face, before reaching out and turning off the light on her side of the bed.

"What's it like, working at a place like that?" Mystique's voice cut the darkened room, clearly not sounding very tired just yet.

"It's okay." Raven pulled the sheet over her shoulder.

"Ever think of playing with the tourists? They wouldn't be expecting anything long term."

Raven's closed eyes opened suddenly and she stared into the darkness away from Mystique. "No, not really." She kept her caution to herself and pretended to not have noticed anything odd, but the timing of that question was a bit too suspicious. Mystique was playing with her.

The next day when the brunette came in Raven almost called her on it, but there was something just a bit different about her. Raven had to explain where her clothes went to her again as if this were her first appointment. During the massage the woman admitted to being surprised that the hotel had massages available and she was so happy that she'd been given a complimentary appointment the day before by one of the staff.

"Have a nice day at work?" Mystique asked when the shapeshifter came home from wherever for dinner that night and Raven noticed the slight smile on Mystique's lips as she asked.

"Same old same old." Raven answered and turned the heat down on the stove. She didn't want to encourage Mystique's behavior. If Raven had said anything to the woman today she could have really looked like a fool, all because Mystique was feeling playful.

…………….

"Look" Raven hissed quietly at the man on her massage table. "I don't know why you're so determined to be such a bitch, but stop it. Keep your god damned hands to yourself." Her eyes held a promise to commit serious bodily harm. Mystique had been playing this stupid game for days, coming in to get a massage and flirting more and more outrageously while never using the same form twice. Mystique would hint at the house, but Raven refused to rise to the bait. Still with all that, the woman had never been so disrespectful, had never touched.

"I don't know what you're problem is lady." The man sat up, showing far more than Raven wanted to see. "It was just a little pat of appreciation." She didn't even think about it, she felt the anger at being played and at people thinking touching her was no big deal, like she should just get over it and her fist flew out.

Mystique would have been able to block that, was all that ran through her shocked mind as her fist slammed into his face and his head rocked back. Oh shit.

It felt like hours later, but actually it only took an hour, Raven was walking up to the beach house. "You're home early." Mystique called out from her place on the couch watching TV and Raven just glared at her while slamming her purse down on the table. The shapeshifter's voice became more concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I was fired." Raven's fist clenched as she turned to face the spy. Her eyes bore into Mystique. "I really thought you'd been paying me another visit."

"So you did know about that. I was starting to think you were a little slow."

"I was a little too fast for someone else today." Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It had felt good to stand up for herself, but she would have never done it if she didn't think it was Mystique. "I hit some man that thought he could feel me up."

"I would never touch you without your permission." Mystique stood up. "I remember how you were in the beginning and I might tease but I'd never,"

"I know." Raven interrupted and sat down heavily in her seat. She had noticed how Mystique was careful about Raven's boundaries. She should have known the woman wouldn't have put her hands there during a massage. She might say something, but she didn't touch. "I broke his nose. He says he's gonna sue. Can't wait until he finds out I don't exist."

"I was just trying to get your mind off of things." Mystique moved to sit next to her. Raven's eyes actually widened at that. She'd spent so much time wondering if this or that customer was Mystique that she hadn't been thinking about what she'd been doing two years ago at this time. The date came to her and she realized it was the anniversary of her horrible dice game. She'd forgotten about the anniversary of her capture or her other torments. Last year she'd remembered every last milestone.

"I thought you were just trying to drive me crazy." Raven spoke softly.

"That too." Mystique's voice softened. "Maybe we can go out and celebrate your time off."

"I'm gonna have to move again."

"Later, not now. We're staying here now. Irene hasn't sent you any plane tickets, she'll know when it's time."

Raven could see a hint of pain in those yellow eyes. "It's like she isn't really gone sometimes. I forget for a few seconds whenever I get a letter and then I remember and it hurts all over again."

"She didn't leave as many letters for me, but yeah." Mystique's jaw clenched for a moment and Raven leaned up against the other woman, giving and taking support. They sat that way in silence for a while, and Raven noticed the arm being put around her to hold her tight.

"Christy is a pretty good judge of character." Raven spoke quietly, almost to herself. Christy had never seemed to fall for the Professor's lies, had trusted Tessa immediately without really knowing she could, and she brought Raven to Irene and Mystique.

"My other self probably taught her that." Mystique pulled away, her voice slightly teasing.

"Nah, I think the flirting all the time, that was probably what the other Mystique taught her."

"You know, I've always wondered." Mystique sat back and grinned wickedly at Raven, "how exactly the two of you made love."

Raven just grinned and blushed. "Yep, definitely it was the flirting." Spending this much time with just Mystique reminded her of the things Raven had liked about her double. The teasing was sexual, but without any pressure.

"If you miss giving out all those massages, I'd be willing to sacrifice some of my free time to help you out." Mystique continued, "but for my sacrifice I think you should cover new ground so to speak."

"I told you I don't massage those." Raven kept her voice even and did her best to not smile at the teasing.

"Rise to new heights, climb new mountains."

"Explore the ice tipped peaks?" Raven added quietly.

"These are not witches tits." Mystique smirked and caressed the body parts in question.

"Coulda fooled me."

………………..

"Wake up." The voice commanded and Raven fought to do as asked. Her heart hammered and she sat up suddenly as the vision of Selene and the others faded slowly into her darkened room. "Raven." The voice was soft, soothing and Raven only tensed a little at the soft touch to her arm.

Mystique was looking at her with concern and Raven felt her pounding heart starting to calm. "Sorry." Raven muttered, knowing she'd had another nightmare. She hadn't had one with someone in the bed in a long time and she almost wished it was Drahke with her now, because Drahke would just hold her and not ask questions. The room wasn't so dark she couldn't see the questions in Mystique's expression.

"Nightmare or memory?" Was all Mystique said, and she didn't fill her voice with sympathy, which might have made Raven cry.

"Memory." She didn't elaborate.

"I'm here if you want. It's why I came." Mystique just laid back down, leaving the invitation wide open to interpretation. Raven just took a deep breath and laid back down, her eyes darting around the darkness nervously as if she expected an attack.

The soft touch on her back made her flinch and Raven noticed the second she did that Mystique pulled her hand away. It took a few tense moments before Raven finally rolled over and looked at the blue shape shifter in her bed, trying to decipher the invitation while slowly inching closer to Mystique. Raven slowly, hesitantly, rested her head on Mystique's shoulder and felt Mystique pulling her close.

"Sleep. I'll wake you if it happens again." Raven felt some of her tension melt away at that thought. It was strange how that made her feel safe, safe enough to sleep again.

…………….

"Terrance." Raven sat down across from him at the table and just stared for a moment.

"Flashback." He grinned. "It's my mutant name."

"I always thought of them as code names." Raven just smirked at Mystique's influence at work. The boy looked proud of his new name. "But it fits."

"You need a name."

"I have one." Raven's smile faded. She'd never told him that Raven wasn't her real name and she didn't want to have that talk now. "I wanted to talk to you about something." She'd best do it before she lost her nerve. "I was wondering if," Raven sighed. "If you wanted to spend Christmas with one of your friends." Hopefully he wouldn't feel hurt by this, but she really thought it would be better for him to be around happy people that day.

He lost his youthful energy and just stared at her in concern. "Raven, I really don't want to leave you alone."

"Mystique will be here. And you really should be able to have fun. We can do presents later. I like doing it New Years Eve better anyhow." She'd bought him a few new CD's since music was so big a part of his life any other gift made little sense. It wasn't like she could buy him a new stereo or anything that takes up space.

That inability to spend did help them build up a little of a nest egg, nothing impressive but it was a start. She'd needed it a few times, because not all of her identities made enough to survive. Irene was paying for her relocations and occasionally for some training, when Raven got more than a book and a good luck. Irene also occasionally found Raven and Terrance a place to stay for free, but not always. Raven got the feeling she was being slowly pushed out of the nest, because in the beginning Irene took care of it all and Raven only paid for groceries and gas if she had a car. Because she wasn't sure she'd always be taken care of financially Raven started saving and being more responsible with her money. They didn't overindulge in tourist activities when they got to a new home anymore, but she didn't deny Terrance or herself all fun. Raven was growing up and she liked how that felt. The Professor had always paid for things she needed, and since he made it so she couldn't hold a job that seemed fair to her and before that she'd been living at home. She'd never really been entirely responsible for herself, even on the team she was treated like the kid that needed to be protected and she was hardly the youngest on the team.

"I could see if Elisa's offer is still opened." He smiled a little too knowingly at her, interrupting her thoughts and it was clear he'd noticed her preoccupation.

"Okay." Raven sighed. "Good."

"Are you gonna make a move?" He asked her and Raven just glared at him, but his grin grew.

"No." She got up as she heard the bathroom door open. Mystique was done with the shower.

"You should."

"She should what?" Mystique asked as she came into the room and Raven glared at him hard when he grinned at her a second.

"Raven should treat herself more don't you think?" He spoke to Mystique about her with Raven right there. "She's always all work and I think she needs to pamper herself. Go get a new outfit or a pedicure or something. Maybe a massage even. She loved it that one time, but she doesn't let…" Raven's eyes burned into him and he slowed down but kept talking.

It was Mystique that interrupted him. "Life is short. He's right." Mystique smiled at her and Raven felt a hint of a blush on her cheeks at the attention. The woman flirted often, but the soft smile Raven got from her now seemed sweet.

It didn't help that she was still very aware of how safe and cared for she'd felt the night before, sleeping in Mystique's arms.

Elisa's family was more than accommodating and Raven wondered why for a guilt induced moment while Elisa helped Terrance out with his over night bag on Christmas Eve. Raven hadn't expected them to take him over night. She just thought he'd get to go to their party on Christmas day.

Terrance slipped back in and pulled Raven into a soft hug. "Have fun." He whispered with a smile on his face. "I'll call before I come home so you can even do it in the living room if you want."

"Shut up." She blushed and let go of him.

A few minutes later Mystique came in through the back door. "Kids gone?" She asked and when Raven nodded Mystique's skin color shifted back to normal and her black hair became red.

Raven had seen it so many times but she stared a little longer, noticing how Mystique really did look better in blue. It was something both Irene and Christy had mentioned at one time, but Raven had never really thought about it before.

"What?" Mystique finally asked her and Raven looked away.

"Nothing." She felt herself blush again. She'd been doing it so much lately she wished she could stop it. "You know Christy was a shapeshifter?" She finally filled the silence, hoping that Mystique would believe that Raven had only been thinking about Christy. "She could even do a little bit of it when she was in my body."

"She did mention she was." Mystique moved to get something to drink and Raven found herself studying Mystique's slightly sweaty form. The woman had clearly gone for a run. It made her blue skin shimmer a bit. It looked good. "You ever shift?"

"No." Raven sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. "She did it enough, thought about it enough, that I know what to do, but when I do it nothing happens." She stared at the mail on the table, and picked up a piece addressed to occupant and started to ripe it up. "You know," Her voice was quiet. "I don't have anyone else I can talk to about Christy. No one else knew her." No one she ever saw. Even the Xmen that had met Christy didn't know her very well. Christy had been much more opened with Mystique. Raven had no one at all she could talk to about Tessa, she didn't dare risk Tessa's safety that way, but Christy was someone she needed to talk about sometimes too.

"She really loved you." Mystique took a moment to speak and Raven looked up into yellow eyes. "It was obvious." Raven didn't hear any hint of teasing or disgust in Mystique's voice and it helped her relax.

"I loved her too." Raven picked up a pre approved Mastercard offer and started to rip again. "I never would have," Raven took a deep breath, "I never would have survived if it weren't for her. If I'd been just me I wouldn't have been able to," Raven's fists clenched, crinkling the torn mail. She would have fought a loosing battle and probably been killed. Right after it happened Raven might have considered that the better option, but she'd had a life since then a life she wouldn't have had. It might not be the life she'd wanted for herself, but it had its moments.

How quickly she'd caved during her hallucination the year before gave Raven a good indicator that she wouldn't have been able to handle the Hellfire club as well alone. And poor Tessa would have had to send her body back to the mansion. Tessa would have done that for her. She wouldn't leave her god damned mission, but she would have… god. Raven took another deep breath and tried to push those thoughts away. She hated seeing how the mission was more important to Tessa than Raven, and she didn't like to speculate on how much more important it might have been, how far Tessa might have gone to stay.

Thinking of Christy always brought up thinking of Tessa. It was like they were intertwined in Raven's mind now, even though Raven had known Tessa before.

Hands covered Raven's and took the mangled letter out of Raven's tight fists. "I liked her. She had attitude. The way she asked about the price of hits as soon as she met me," Mystique smiled and switched the tone of the conversation. "That was gutsy. I respected that."

"She knew you would." Raven's shoulder's relaxed. "She seemed to know her Mystique pretty well and it helped her handle you." Raven gave Mystique a slight smirk.

"You think she was handling me do you?" Mystique's answering grin was sexy.

"As if you didn't like it." Raven muttered and then her eyes widened in shock as she caught the double meaning. Mystique just laughed and Raven turned red again.

They sat down to dinner and Raven felt Terrance's absence keenly. He would have been a nice distraction.

Raven could see it now. She remembered that strange conversation with Irene and she could see it, but she didn't know what to do about it, or if she should do anything about it. Irene was almost a mother to Raven. Christy had been brought to Mystique's home as Rogue's little friend. It seemed almost incestuous to want to kiss the woman in front of her now.

It wasn't like she hadn't done incestuous before, part of her mind tormented her with how very closely related to Christy Raven was. Her connection to Mystique wasn't that tight. In fact it almost felt like Irene was keeping Mystique and Raven apart while she was alive, maybe to prevent that type of parental relationship from developing.

"Why are you so quiet?" Mystique asked while picking up the salt. Raven looked up and didn't know what to say. All this inner debate could be for nothing if Mystique wasn't interested. Raven studied her dinner companion for a moment and decided to try something.

"How are you doing?" If Mystique were still deep in mourning there would be no point in trying anything. The woman seemed to be in a healthy mourning, one that didn't consume her, but Raven needed to know. Raven's expression made it clear what Raven was talking about and Mystique sighed and just sat still for a moment.

"It's been hard. Somehow I always expected it to be me first, and I know that was selfish, but I wanted it that way." Mystique spoke and Raven felt trusted knowing that other people would get a smile and a brush off. "We were apart often, missions took me all over the world, but she was always there when I got home and now…" Mystique set her fork down and sighed. "Well, I try not to go home anymore. The silence is too much."

"You can always come to wherever I am." Raven offered, genuinely wanting to help. She understood loneliness.

Mystique smiled at her and touched her arm. "You'll get tired of sharing the bed, especially if you ever actually start dating, not that I mind." Her smile became flirtatious.

Raven looked Mystique in the eye, her expression serious. "I don't mind." Her hand gripped Mystique's and her voice softened and deepened a little. "I don't mind at all." The understanding came quickly and Mystique stared at her.

"Irene told you that you'd never have to pay for our help. I won't make a liar of her." Mystique took her hand back with a heavy sigh. "I didn't mean to make you think you would need to now."

"That's not," Raven started to protest quickly, but forced herself to talk slower. "That's not what this is about. I," Her face turned a painful red, "really like you and I like how you make me feel. I know I don't have to, I want to." She took a deep breath and tried to talk this out like an adult, even though the emotions involved made it difficult to be logical about it. "I need a lover that I can trust, one that isn't so painfully temporary. I feel like you care and that's enough. I know you could never love me like you love Irene and I'd never expect that of you." This conversation went against everything she'd ever read or heard about romance. It felt more like a business proposition to her, but she didn't think any more emotional plea would work and she was lonely. "I would never be happy with a string of lovers I have to leave, women I couldn't be honest with. I'm just not wired that way. I need something a little more, and I can give you a home to come to between missions. I know it could be months between visits and I know you sometimes end up in other beds." She'd heard about that as an Xmen and while she at first wondered how Irene dealt with that, her time with Drahke made it easier to understand the difference between sharing a body and sharing one's heart. "But if you want, I just want you to know that you can end up in mine if it isn't a one off." Mystique wasn't quite looking at her and Raven felt her nervousness calming as the worst of it was over. "I understand if you might not want to do this and that's okay. You'd still be welcome to visit anytime. I really like having you around." Raven felt like taking a deep breath of air after getting that out, but she sat still and keep a waiting air about her as if it were just business they were talking about. She didn't want to seem more desperate than she looked already.

"It has been a good month." Mystique spoke quietly, obviously just to say something, "I am flattered, but Irene…"

"Knows." Raven stared down at her plate. Irene would always be there between them, so lying made no sense. "She and I talked once, and I didn't really understand everything she said at the time. You know how it is, but she said it was okay." And Raven would have never brought this up if Irene hadn't done that. It would have seemed too disrespectful to do this to Irene even though she'd died, but Irene said it was okay.

"She what?" Mystique didn't sound very happy and Raven looked up into upset eyes. "She decided to line up my next lover for me?" Raven didn't say anything, because it didn't really seem safe to do so. Mystique was mad. "I… I need out of here." Mystique stood up and Raven didn't stop her as Mystique left out the back door to the beach. She'd seen tears, but Raven wasn't sure she should follow.

After slowly and reluctantly eating her dinner Raven moved to put the plate in the sink. She stared out the kitchen window to the beach and watched Mystique seeming to talk to no one. Raven had done that a time or two herself, feeling that Irene might actually have seen her conversations in a vision before she died.

The boat coming near her private beach was a surprise and Raven watched it cautiously, noticing that Mystique did as well. A woman tossed a bottle off the boat towards the shore while staring at the spy that hadn't bothered to change her shape to go outside. Then the boat with the short haired blonde turned and the woman waved before turning away and leaving the bottle bobbing in the waves.

Mystique went out into the water and grabbed the bottle and Raven tensed until she saw Mystique pull a letter out of it. "Irene, you are crazy." Raven let out the breath she'd been holding as she realized that Irene had known about the conversation that Raven and Mystique just had, and Irene had most likely heard whatever Mystique had been saying to her. That blonde must be Morgan. Irene had left the woman in charge of mailing out the letters to Raven and Raven suspected Morgan was responsible for a few other things as well.

Mystique's shoulders slumped as she read the letter and Raven turned away and went back to the living room, giving Mystique some privacy. Really, Mystique could do worse than Raven, even with the nightmares and the sexual issues, because Raven understood Irene's place in their lives. Few women would. Raven continued to think of why what she was doing wasn't just begging for acceptance, of what she had to offer, as she sat down and picked up a magazine. Raven no longer was a jealous woman either; she'd learned not to be because she'd never really had a lover of her own. The Professor had always owned part of Tessa and still did, and Drahke sold her services but not her heart. Raven had learned how to share and she could share Mystique with Irene and any random person Mystique's job ended up pairing her with. Mystique would have a hard time finding a woman like that. If Mystique really wanted something ongoing, and that was the if, Raven would be perfect for the job. Raven sat up straighter and tried not to feel rejected by the way Mystique had left. It wasn't about her; it was what Irene had done that had upset Mystique.

Mystique came in and quietly went into the bathroom. Raven could hear the shower start and she just stared at the coffee table, unsure what she should do now. Maybe it would be best to pretend it didn't happen until Mystique felt like bringing it up. Having used up her courage to bring it up, Raven just sighed and went about pulling her tablet out to draw. The next move was Mystique's. The woman had been flirting with her the entire time. Raven didn't think she was imagining at least some attraction there. God she hoped she wasn't imagining it, because that would be even more embarrassing.

Maybe she should have gone with a more romantic approach. Raven had assumed that something like that wouldn't impress Mystique too much, but maybe it would have been better than just laying it all out like that. Her self doubt started to plague her as she listened to the shower in the other room. Was it too late to try for more romantic? Or would that seem like she was pressuring Mystique? "I've always been lousy at this." Raven muttered, thinking of her less than smooth attempt to ask Tessa out that first time. Tessa had finally decided to not wait for Raven to figure out how to do it and took control of the conversation.

Mystique came out of the bathroom and was still rather quiet. Raven stared at her until Mystique looked over at her. "If you'd feel more comfortable in Terrance's bed you can stay there." Her eyes held an apology. "I'm sorry." Her words were whispered. In the end Mystique didn't take her up on that offer and they both quietly, and a bit tensely, got into the same bed that night. Raven faced away from Mystique and pulled the sheet over her shoulder, knowing she'd have trouble sleeping but hoping she was wrong. She felt guilty about the way she approached Mystique. It lacked too much, and it wasn't that she didn't think the woman worth it, but she really hadn't thought flowery words would impress.

She laid there for what felt like eternity, but was most likely twenty minutes. She could hear Mystique's slight tossing and turning, but Raven didn't move at all. Finally she rolled over at another sigh from her bed partner and looked over at Mystique. "Are you okay?" The tension in Mystique's face answered her, but Mystique herself lied.

"Yes"

Raven didn't push her and eventually must have fallen asleep, because Mystique was waking her up at one point. Raven's heart was pounding and she rolled over quickly, into Mystique's body. "I hate this." Raven muttered as her body shook from the memory, the nightmare. "I can understand if you don't want to, I mean I'm so messed up…" Her words were a whisper as a few tears escaped her eyes.

"Shh," Mystique soothed her and held her. Raven found herself able to sleep again, but she woke up to the dawn, and to something else. She felt a light tickle on her skin and moved to scratch it, but froze when she felt her hand meet with another. Raven turned her head and looked at Mystique's red hair tumbling over Raven's shoulder, but she couldn't see the woman's face. Raven pulled her hand away from the one caressing her stomach and stopped moving. She swallowed hard and felt the touch, noticing a soft pattern in how Mystique's hand moved in small circles.

"Is it fear?" Mystique whispered, "is that why your heart is pounding so hard?"

Raven flinched a little at the proof Mystique was awake, she hadn't been sure. "A little." She admitted quietly.

"It isn't passion for me?" Mystique still spoke quietly, and it sounded like she was asking about something much less personal.

Raven felt the caress stop and she did her best to will her heart to slow down. "Passion is a little slower in me, the fear isn't." This was the talk she dreaded having, the one that lead her to turn down a few dates she would have considered otherwise. "I need more," Raven sighed heavily, "to get past the, well, what they did to me. It doesn't mean I'm not attracted, I am. I just can't help it." The slow caress started again and Raven did her best to relax and enjoy it, even as a hand slid under her tshirt a little to caress higher.

"You like this?" Mystique asked and Raven felt a light brush of a finger tip on the underside of her breast.

"Yes."

"What is it you're really asking of me?" Mystique's other arm moved and the woman readjusted herself to stare down at Raven.

Raven felt embarrassed but she looked up into Mystique's eyes. "Comfort, companionship." Raven nibbled on her lower lip and hesitantly reached out to caress some of Mystique's hair. "passion." She whispered it very quietly. "A friend that…"

"Comes with benefits?" Mystique finished it and while it wasn't exactly what Raven was going to say it had a similar meaning. The smirk on Mystique's lips eased Raven's concern that she might have insulted the woman by suggesting this.

"And occasional dates." Raven felt a bit more confident and smiled just a little. "Dinner first once in a while might be nice."

"Well, I'm not feeling like waiting for dinner today." Mystique leaned down and kissed Raven, a soft kiss that became exploratory and a little demanding. Raven reached up and pulled Mystique's head closer, trying to show she could be passionate a little sooner than she was able to actually feel it. It didn't take long for it to become real.

………………

The fire was raging and Raven relaxed in front of it with a sigh. Her eyes turned to glance at the large window of the lodge and the endless white of snow. Another winter was here and this time she wasn't spending it on a warm beach.

"You picked up snowboarding rather fast." A teasing voice spoke almost in her ear and then the woman kissed her neck.

Raven turned and smiled at the rather wild looking red headed young twenty something woman smirking at her and shook her head. She'd seen this woman watching her earlier and didn't know, "Mystique." Raven spoke softly, but was still glad that this early in the day they were almost alone here. Terrance was still learning to snowboard with his friends, who had so nicely invited Raven along.

"You came in rather early. I was enjoying myself watching you."

"I hate the cold." Raven moved a little to the side as Mystique walked around the couch to sit beside her.

"Odd choice of vacations then." Mystique sat down and managed to caress Raven's well insulated knee as she did it. Raven had bundled up so much the kids had teased her, but she wasn't taking it off again until she was warm, or Mystique offered her an incentive.

"I heard a hot little red-head might stop by." Raven grinned at Mystique for a moment before her eyes softened. "I've kinda missed you, so a little snow isn't a hard price to pay." She glanced at the fire, "Besides, I'd planned to spend most of my time inside."

It wasn't long before Mystique took her to another room, her hotel room at the ski lodge and Raven looked around a little enviously. It had its own fireplace, and a very inviting bed. "Love shack doesn't really cover it." She muttered and Mystique laughed.

"I'd hoped you'd like it. I hadn't planned on skiing when I came up here." Mystique shifted to her true form and Raven felt something inside her relax, like it always did when she saw her lover's real face. They'd been together for almost a year, but it was so off and on that Raven still felt a bit self conscious with their lovemaking. The short visits with the long times between them made it feel new all the time, which was both good and bad. Mystique moved closer and whispered seductively, "You do want to stay in here with me don't you?"

"Yes." Raven found it easier and easier to respond to this woman. Her heart started to beat a little faster as images of the last time they'd been together replayed in her mind. Irene had been right, she'd been a lucky girl. Mystique could be very intense at times.

"I know I say this every time." Mystique continued to caress Raven with her voice, "but are there any fantasies I can fulfill for you?" Raven froze just a little at the new wording. Normally Mystique asked if Raven wanted the woman to take a different form, and Raven didn't feel comfortable with that. She was attracted to the blue skin, the yellow eyes, the woman herself. It wasn't like they were together enough for that to lose its exotic appeal. Raven wondered if she'd ever tire of seeing the contrasts between their skin, the deep blue against her pale complexion. It wasn't like anyone else she'd ever been with and that had proven to be a good thing. But with Mystique saying fantasy this time, instead of form, well it brought out a few ideas Raven wasn't sure she felt comfortable enough to ask for.

Lady Heather had told her it would be healthier to indulge in her submissive needs. Raven couldn't deny that she had some.

"I said something you like." Mystique smirked at her and stared into Raven's eyes. "You have some fantasies? Selma Hayek? Gillian Anderson? I've seen you drooling over Special Agent Scully."

"I don't drool." Raven blushed a little as the teasing started again. She'd just been absorbed in the show, and if the show had a lot of that redhead in it that was just, Raven sighed and decided to admit to it. "Okay, so I think she's hot." She could see Mystique's form starting to shift so she spoke faster, "but I don't want to have sex with her." Mystique stood in front of her again and Raven just sighed deeply. "I like how," She paused, this was it, "dominant she is. I like dominant women, strong, commanding." Raven blushed and looked towards the ground. "I," Her words trailed off into silence.

Mystique's touch was gentle as the spy forced Raven to look at her. "What is it?"

"I need you to, I," Raven struggled with admitting this. Even though Lady Heather had talked about it a bit, Raven had never admitted to it. "I need you to be dominant." Raven's hand reached out to caress Mystique's arm. "Mistress." Mystique's eyes widened in surprise for a moment, before a mask seemed to come across her expression, hiding that. Mystique was always careful about not triggering flashbacks in Raven, so for Raven to be asking for this had to be a shock. Raven's blush increased in intensity as she turned away, feeling a bit ashamed. Regular people didn't accept this in the way Drahke and Lady Heather did.

"What exactly do you want?" Mystique asked her softly.

"I just want to serve." Raven spoke quietly, feeling a little bit of hope that she wasn't making a huge mistake. "To, I don't know how to explain. I need you to be less gentle, but still not rough." She wasn't sure how she'd respond to that and for this first time she'd rather ease into it. "I want you to use me for your pleasure." That was all she could admit to now. Her other fantasies would wait.

"Okay." Mystique's voice took on a dangerous edge and Raven looked over to see the woman had changed into leather pants.

"You look like Christy's Mystique." The words escaped her as she took in the halter top as well.

"That's what she meant by that leather pants comment?" Mystique smirked for a moment, before the amusement was pushed aside. "You change your mind you tell me."

"Do you want this?" Raven had to ask. "I mean, I'm not asking for something you don't want am I?"

"I'll admit this isn't my normal, but I can do it." Mystique gave her a brief gentle smile.

Mystique was commanding, she was strong, and yet something was still missing. Raven couldn't figure out what it was, but she didn't really feel dominated. Raven decided as they were finishing up that she'd just thank Mystique for being willing to do this with her, but she wasn't going to ask for this again. It wasn't like, Raven hated to think it, but it wasn't like with Tessa or Emma. It wasn't like she imagined it might have been like with Lady Heather, not that Lady Heather would touch her sexually, but the domination just was off.

……………..

"I have to go." Mystique touched her hair so gently and Raven smiled, while feeling a bit disappointed that after months of waiting they only had three days. "I'm in the middle of a mission. The target won't be a hard kill, but I'll be taking over for him for a while." Raven's jaw clenched a little as she bit back her protest at more killing. She tried to believe, like Christy taught her, that those Mystique killed were bad and deserved it, but there was a chance they didn't and she couldn't delude herself into blindly believing that the killing was right. Talking about it never went well though. The last time Raven brought it up Mystique had left early and Raven wondered for two weeks whether she'd see the woman again. Raven's morality wasn't strong enough to risk being alone and she felt bad that she'd found her price. She really was a bad hero. "I might miss most of December, so I got you a little something." Mystique pulled an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to Raven.

Raven opened it to see one ticket to Las Vegas and a return ticket a week later. "What about Terrance?" She asked, but she was nervous about going back. She wanted to, she missed the people there, but she'd been gone for over two years.

"His ticket is for here. He and his friends can snowboard while you go somewhere a little warmer. His memories of Vegas aren't as pleasant as yours." Mystique kissed her softly and whispered. "I don't expect you to be monogamous either. Even Irene had her lovers. I'm barely around, you need to stop waiting for me. It isn't healthy for a beautiful woman like you to go so long without." Mystique smiled wickedly as she pulled back, "have fun and maybe I'll be able to join you there, but don't count on it." Yes, don't count on it. Raven knew better than to count on anything. Mystique's life left little room for plans.

Raven didn't know how to feel about the permission to stray. It was Drahke, but still it really did show they were just bedmates and not girlfriends. Raven wasn't used to that. "Thank you." She put the envelope in her pocket and pulled Mystique into a hug, while trying to ignore the strange shaky nervousness she felt about this gift. Mystique probably just didn't want to leave Raven alone for another holiday season, which felt a little overprotective as well. Why was she so bothered by this when it was actually a rather considerate gift? Raven felt uneasy the rest of the day.

………………….

Raven stepped out of the cab and stood on the driveway just staring up at a familiar mansion. Her leather pants and halter still fit and the coat flaired a bit as she forced herself to walk up to the front door as if she meant business. Since she still had to go back to the life she was currently living, Raven hadn't called to warn Heather she was coming until she got to Las Vegas. Raven readjusted the bag in her hand and knocked on the door.

"Hello." Lady Heather's stern Mistress persona melted a little as she started to grin. "Oh Raven, you even remembered your leather."

"I wouldn't want the Mistress upset with me." Raven smiled a little shyly. It was strange seeing how little Lady Heather had changed, and knowing she had changed a lot.

"Hair looks nice, but if you're playing Mistress here you might want to pull it back." Lady Heather reached out to touch Raven's now blonde hair and Raven leaned into the caress, her eyes getting watery.

"I missed you." Raven stepped closer and pulled the Mistress of the house into a tight hug.

"You'll have to stay in my guest room. There is so much to catch up on." Lady Heather motioned and to someone else walking up. "Take her bag to my guestroom."

"Yes Mistress." A voice behind her made Raven turn a little to see a slight smirk on a Mistress that looked a little familiar. "Good to see you again Lady Raven." The way she said lady was playful teasing.

"Thanks Rachel."

When they got the Heather's office Raven felt a little nervous about taking her jacket off. She'd had to make an adjustment to her outfit and as she set the coat on a hook she tried to not react to seeing those cuffs on her wrists again. Tessa had given her the soft cuffs years ago and Raven had kept them with her but never really put them on until now. It was better than the light scar on her wrists being visible. Many people might not notice, but Heather would in no time at all.

"Interesting. Getting in touch with your inner submissive?" Heather asked while pouring tea for them both. "Have you been indulging like I suggested?"

Raven blushed a little and sighed as she sat down. "Not really." She gave a weak smile. "I tried, but my…" and what did she call Mystique? "well, it wasn't…" Raven gave a heavy sigh. "I don't know how to ask for what I want." She started to tell Heather about who Mystique was to her, without saying names. She explained about how the woman had been there for her in the beginning and how tender a lover she was now. She talked about how the domination was still tender and really didn't make Raven respond like she'd learned she could in that hellhole. There were so many other things she could be talking to Heather about, but this was the one thing she'd wished she could talk to Heather about for a while.

"She's afraid." Heather said two words that didn't really seem to fit Mystique and startled Raven into thinking maybe Heather wouldn't be able to help her without knowing Mystique. "You both are tip toeing around your trauma and I'd bet she's afraid of causing some of those nightmares she's protected you from." Heather stared at Raven in that way she tended to do and it made Raven feel exposed. "Try showing her what you want by doing it to her. I know you can." Heather shook her head, "and for god's sake, talk to her. Tell her your fantasies in more detail than you gave her. Here we get a lot more information before we start a session. You aren't trusting her with your true fantasies and she's not trusting you with your safe word. She's afraid of going too far and it sounds like she doesn't trust you to tell her if she has, so she just dips her toe into the role. It will take a long time for her to learn your boundaries that way, especially since you seem so unsure of them yourself." Heather gave her suggestions and Raven paid a lot of attention.

"How's Drahke?" Raven finally got the nerve to ask after Heather brought Raven to the guest room.

Lady Heather moved to sit on the chair in the bedroom. "She's doing well." Heather glanced at the room. "Her new apartment is a little nicer and she has your painting, the one you did here, up." There was a pause. "She's dating someone new, a lawyer if you can believe it." Raven felt conflicted about that, she was happy her ex lover wasn't alone but she felt a wave of disappointment that she wasn't alone as well. "I get the sense that this woman has a few secrets of her own. She gives just enough details to make most people believe she's opening up but not enough to really do it. She talks like you do. Don't think I didn't notice that I still don't know your lover's name."

"Do you think she's dangerous?" Raven sat a bit more tensely. Lady Heather's instincts about people were very good and if Lady Heather thought something was off, something was off.

"No, I think she's afraid. I think she's running, and I'd be surprised if Elliot is really her last name." Lady Heather gave Raven a soft pat on the knee. "I think Drahke has developed a sixth sense for finding those with really big secrets and a need to protect them."

"But you don't know?" It seemed so strange that Drahke could find herself with another runner. Raven had wanted more for Drahke than that even when she was the woman's lover.

"I've only met the woman once, and you do know that Drahke would never have told me about you if you hadn't seemed to trust me on some level and if I hadn't been uniquely qualified to help you with some of your demons. I can't say Alexandra does trust me, and her demons are different. Not a brand I know quite so well." Lady Heather stood up. "Well, you'll get to make your own impression. I invited both of them to dinner on Christmas eve." That brought out another issue. Raven hadn't been in a house that celebrated that for a couple years.

"Okay. Thanks for the heads up." Raven sighed. So even if she wanted to be unfaithful, or whatever Mystique would call it, Drahke was off limits.

"We've both been worried about you. Whenever we get a shipment from you we both feel better. She still loves you Raven and when I told her that you'd be here for Christmas eve she was happy to hear it." Heather spoke softly before closing the door behind her so that Raven was left alone in the guest room. Raven took a deep breath and smiled just a little. She wasn't experienced with ex-lovers and how to act around them, but maybe this wouldn't be that bad. Drahke had always been so sensitive and she wouldn't pick someone that would be too cruel to Raven out of jealousy.

The next day Raven met Zoe, Heather's daughter, and was surprised at the energy of the girl. It was like a younger clone of Heather was in front of her and it seemed odd to see how open with her emotions she was. It didn't take long for Zoe to ask Raven to sketch her and the slight smile Heather gave them as Zoe asked made this feel more comfortable than Raven thought it would, almost like she was supposed to be here. She agreed to it and spent a few hours talking with a teenager about art, traveling and the world. Raven never realized how her constant moving would seem romantic or exciting to some people, but in telling Zoe about the beauty of Rome and the sand of Australia it became an adventure. Raven barely managed to not tell Zoe how lucky she was to have a home as she was cleaning up her supplies, not wanting to ruin the girls enthusiasm, but still a little jealous of the ability to not see the world.

………………..

"Lois." Raven spoke softly when the older woman opened the door and gave out a startled gasp as she was pulled into a hug.

"Raven," Was all Lois said for a moment, the hug lasting a bit longer than Raven would have expected if she'd expected the hug at all. "Come in, come in." Lois finally stepped back from the door and let Raven in. "I heard you were in town, but I wasn't sure you'd visit since Drahke isn't here."

"Amazing how fast word travels." Raven said as she followed Lois towards the kitchen and noticed a few unfamiliar faces looking at her in curiosity. The staff and the prostitutes were mostly new, it felt strange to have the building be the same and the people change. Two years felt longer. "Of course I'd come see you." She spoke softer and it earned her a gentle touch to the arm by the older woman.

"Jewel's working right now, but you'll stay long enough to see her right?" Lois asked as they stepped into the kitchen and Martha smiled at her.

"Look who the cat dragged back. Coming back to work Raven?" Martha asked.

"Just visiting Martha." Raven gave the cook a brief hug as well, getting used to how physical people were now when they weren't before. They sat at a booth and Martha brought them some cookies, giving Raven a proud look before moving back to work.

"I'm glad you came back. Irene would have wanted you to visit." There was a little pain in Lois' eyes as she spoke about Irene. "I still can't believe."

"I know." Raven sighed.

"She used to always talk about her girl Rogue when Rogue was growing up. I even met the child a few times." Lois reached out and took Raven's hand. "She always sounded so proud of her, you could hear her motherly pride even though she didn't give birth to Rogue." Lois paused, staring at Raven like what she was about to say was important. "And when she'd talk about you, I'd hear that same love in her voice." It made Raven's eyes water, but no tears fell. "If you ever feel like settling down, you are welcome back here. You're probably the only child she has that would fit in around here." Lois looked around at the kitchen as if taking in the entire brothel.

"What?" Raven felt like she was missing the punchline. Lois smiled at her.

"Looks like you never did figure it out either." Lois sat up a little. "Irene seemed like such a lady. No one suspected her of owning a Brothel." Lois smiled a little more mischievously, "I did tell you that the owner wouldn't want me getting in the way of romance."

"Irene owned this place?" Raven felt a hint of a smile she tried to suppress but she couldn't. "She owned it."

"She still does, or at least she owns most of it. I was given some after her death." The smile faded. "I would have rather had her alive."

"Me too."

"Her share goes into her account. I think she uses it to maintain her houses. The woman owns a hell of a lot. Shrewd businesswoman, our Irene. I only have hints of what else she owns, she probably has a lot more than I realize." Lois gave Raven another gentle look. "She wanted to be able to take care of her loved ones after she was gone and you know how she was."

"Yeah."

"How's her lover?"

"Mine now." Raven gave a slightly guilty smile to Lois. Mystique was hard to contain, but Raven got the feeling the woman was more hers than not even though they weren't together more than a few weeks in the past year. Lois just laughed.

"Yep, that's Irene alright. Always wanting to take care of everyone."

……………


	26. Hellfire 2 Part 7

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Zoe was moving around the kitchen quickly, clearly knowing what she was doing. Raven watched the teenager from the other room, as Zoe worked preparing some dish for the night quietly while trying look like she was more interested in reading the paper.

"She is quite the cook." Heather spoke softly into Raven's ear, surprising Raven. "Zoe wanted to show off. She's fond of Drahke, treats her like a beloved aunt."

"Is there anything she can't do?" Raven asked just as quietly, thinking of her own very limited cooking abilities. Zoe was very good at school, was an athlete, and did some volunteer work. Being able to cook on top of all that seemed a bit much.

"She isn't very good at failure." Heather teased Raven and moved to sit down at the table with her.

"You have a pretty amazing daughter." Raven sighed. "Terrance is more interested in tv dinners. Neither of us cook very well." She felt a twinge of guilt at how broken his education was. He did okay in school, but Raven suspected that he'd do amazing if he were allowed to stay for more than a few months. She wasn't raising him right. It was impossible the way they lived and he deserved better.

"What's wrong?" Heather asked, staring at Raven. Raven's eye just widened for a moment, surprised at being caught thinking.

"I sometimes think Terrance would be better off if I just left him behind one of these days. I've been tempted a few times when he's liked where we were, but it isn't like I can just abandon him." Her voice got quieter, "even if he'd be better off. He doesn't have a real school transcript, he can't make long term friends. The holes in his education might be a mile wide for all I know."

"He's seeing the world, getting the type of education you just can't get in a classroom. He's sampling all sorts of lifestyles." Heather reached out and patted Raven's hand. "Don't just look at what he doesn't have, you're also giving him things he never would have had before." Heather's hand wrapped around Raven's, holding it, "every parent doubts, or at least the good ones do. Do you think I had no doubts when I started my business? I was concerned, but I just made sure to work on making Zoe understand what I did and why. She knows more about sex than most high school seniors, and the kinkier forms at that, but she's well balanced and I don't worry about her being irresponsible about her own sexuality and she's also not narrow minded. I think it made her a better person. I could be said to be biased," Heather smiled, "Terrance sounds like a good boy from what you told me, and he'll have a different view of the world because of the life you two lead, but if you really think about it that isn't a bad thing." It made sense and it felt like a weight was being taken off Raven's shoulders as she accepted Heather's words.

"Thanks." Her voice cracked a little and Raven was surprised at how emotional she felt.

"Come here," Heather gently hugged her. "I can't imagine how hard it is for you, but you always have a home here. We love you in Vegas." Heather whispered while caressing Raven's back. Raven wasn't used to Heather being so opened with her, but she hugged the woman back. "If you ever get tired you can come home."

Home. Raven took a deep breath to try and keep herself from crying. She wasn't sure where home was anymore, but Vegas was near the top of the list. New York, she'd lived there for years, and Seattle was where she was raised, but Vegas was moving up the list fast.

"There are no customers today." Heather pulled back and glanced to the kitchen. Raven found her eyes following to see Zoe looking at them with a little compassion in her eyes. "If you want to use the hot tub for a while you could. This is your vacation after all." Heather smiled at her, "and since you told me you can't cook perhaps you should stay out of the kitchen."

"You're just afraid I'll try to cook something." Raven smiled just a little. "But I don't exactly have anything to wear."

"Then wear nothing." Heather smirked just a little. When Raven's jaw dropped a little at the flirting Heather's smirk grew. "Or I could lend you something."

"Join me?" Raven felt a hint of a blush on her face as she asked quietly. Flirting with Heather was intriguing, and Mystique had told her to… well, she really shouldn't. Raven felt a bit nervous suddenly and wished she could take the invitation back. Mystique made her feel like she was supposed to sleep with other people, like it made Mystique uncomfortable that she didn't, but Raven just wasn't like that. It made it harder to resist temptation when she had such blatant permission, but Raven didn't think she'd be very proud of herself if she just turned sex into something that casual.

"You don't really want me to." Heather spoke softly. "You just want a Mistress, and I'm not in the habit of being that with my friends." Raven felt nervous and embarrassed. "I want my friends to be more equal than that, and you and I have always had a give and take with the bossy role." Heather smiled just a little. "I'll get you a bathing suit and then I'll help Zoe cook. You have an hour and a half before anyone shows up."

"I'm sorry." Raven couldn't deny what Heather said, and it wasn't really a nice thing to do to her friend.

"It's forgotten," Heather's eyes raked over Raven, "well, not completely forgotten. You'd make a fine submissive. Your Mistress, when you get one, will definitely be lucky. I can't say I haven't imagined what it would be like to spank you until your bottom glows." At Raven's soft gasp Heather smirked at her. The woman knew Raven wanted that.

"You are cruel." Raven spoke under her breath as she stood up to find a bathing suit.

"And you like that, just a hint of cruel. Most submissives do."

"You could…" Raven started and stopped herself.

"Get your lover to spank you Raven." Heather sounded amused as she opened her bedroom door and the discussion turned to bathing suits, but Raven couldn't help the thrum of arousal she felt from the ideas Heather put in her head.

…………….

Raven heard the front door and could hear the polite greetings. Drahke's voice carried to the guest room easily and Raven felt some of her nervousness fade as she heard her ex-lover asking where Raven was. Raven straightened her shirt and stared at her hair. It was much longer than it used to be. It felt like her heart was racing, her adrenaline making her shaky as she took a deep breath.

"Still beautiful." The words were whispered and Raven turned sharply to see Drahke standing in the doorway staring at her. The woman hadn't changed at all and the caring in those eyes had Raven moving towards her for a moment, before she jerked to a stop. Raven wasn't really sure how she was supposed to act with a lover that had moved on. She wanted to hug her, but was that going to cause trouble? "I can't believe you're here." Drahke stepped forward and finished what Raven started, by pulling her into a hug and holding her tight. "How are you?"

"I'm doing okay." Raven didn't make any motion to let go. "Been all over the world." She tried to spin it more positively.

"You've never stayed anywhere more than three or four months." Drahke pulled back and stared at her. The gentle touch to her hair and smile were nice. "How are you holding up?"

"It's getting old." Raven sighed, "I'm getting old."

"You're not old." Drahke caressed Raven's cheeks and gently touched her nose. It was loving and intimate, and more than Raven thought she'd be able to get. "You are different, but not old."

"Sometimes I feel it. I feel like I've aged twenty years in three."

"Well you are the most preserved forty something I've ever seen then. Even better than Dallas." Dallas had worked the Brothel, and Raven remembered being surprised to hear the woman's age.

"I'm okay." Raven snuggled into Drahke's arms. "There were some bad times, but for the most part I'm okay." She decided to stop making Drahke worry. Raven pulled back and stared at Drahke. "I hear you have a new girlfriend." Raven spoke softly.

Drahke's soft smile in response was answer enough, but Drahke did talk. "Yeah. She's a lawyer, works for next to nothing defending people." The smile faded a little. "She didn't always do that, if you know what I mean." Raven nodded just a little. It looked like Heather's suspicions were right on.

"Hard to step into being a professional. I've never tried to do that." She kept her voice down. "I did a stint or two that needed more training than I had and I learned to fake it, but a lawyer?"

"No, she is a lawyer." Drahke closed the bedroom door and kept her voice low. "She doesn't want me telling anyone, and I couldn't really tell her about you." Drahke looked worried. "Raven, she's so lost. I wouldn't have broken my promise to her if I wasn't worried about her." Drahke looked around the room that was the setting of her own painting years ago. "I know you try to keep it a secret, but everyone here but Alex knows you're in a weird Witness Protection program. I was hoping you could talk to her. You've been under so long and she's relatively new. She was prosecuting someone big somewhere, I don't have details, but it went bad and they had to fake her death."

Raven wasn't sure she wanted to trust a stranger with this, but she could see Drahke's worry. "Let me think about it." She wasn't making any promises.

"Well, I want you to meet her." Drahke stood next to Raven and after a hesitant move, pulled her into another hug. "God, it is so good to see you." Drahke didn't take her arm away, draping it over Raven's shoulder as they left the bedroom, and Raven enjoyed the closeness.

The blonde in the room talking politely with Heather looked over at them as soon as Raven and Drahke stepped into the room. Raven could see intelligent eyes taking in the closeness without any hint of jealousy and it helped Raven relax. She didn't want to cause Drahke trouble. The blonde was actually a little taller than Heather, which was a surprise. Raven's eyes trailed down to see that it wasn't shoes that did that. "Alex, this is Raven."

"The artist," Alex bowed her head just a little in recognition. "It's good to meet you. I've loved your painting. It really captured Drahke well."

"You should see the one she did for me." Heather smiled a little mischievously at Raven.

"Drahke!" Zoe's voice came from the kitchen and in mere seconds she was standing in front of Drahke. Raven liked the way Drahke seemed important here and she stepped away to let Zoe fill Drahke in on the latest.

"It's nice to meet you too." Raven found herself in standing near Alex while Heather watched her daughter talk fondly.

"I'm sorry we couldn't get here sooner." Alex was pleasant, but Raven felt like she was being measured in some way. "We were on a vacation when Heather called to say you were here."

"I'm sorry." Raven grimaced a little, imagining a scene she hoped didn't happen. How understanding would a lover have to be to drop a romantic vacation to go visit their partner's ex? "I couldn't really call and warn anyone."

"Yes, well, that's fine." Alex moved to sit and Raven got the impression that this woman could be trained to be a Mistress if she wanted it. There was confidence, practiced confidence. Like a rich woman. Raven glanced over at Heather and nodded just a little to Heather's raised eyebrow while Alex glanced at Drahke. She could see why Heather picked up on something not fitting here. A poor defense attorney in Vegas just didn't move like that. Not without training.

The talk over drinks was polite, normal, and didn't really mean much of anything in Raven's opinion. There were other things she wanted to talk about, but she waited. Drahke expression showed she was a little surprised Raven didn't have wine, but didn't comment on it.

Zoe seemed to proud at the compliments tossed her way once dinner was served, and Raven made sure to add her own as well, even if they weren't as informed as Heather or Alex's.

"Some day I want to visit Europe and trying some of the restaurants." Zoe smiled over at Raven. "You had to have tried a few nice ones in Paris."

"Once." Mystique had taken her out on a real date shortly before Raven had to move away from there, "But I wasn't working in a great paying job at the time and all my fun money went to the museums."

"What about Rome?" Zoe asked and Raven noticed everyone else looked interested in her answer.

"Ah, I focused more on the out of the way tiny places. There was some very good food there." Raven set her fork down for a moment to take a sip of her juice, which was nearly the color of the wine the others were having, well those not Zoe. "Australia had good food too, which I know people don't really think about. Scottish food was, well, I just didn't like it but Terrance thought it was fine." She smiled a little. "Now you want good food for someone with my crappy little budget, try Mexico. I made next to nothing working, but I had a little savings by then and American money goes far in Mexico. The tourist can also be manipulated into paying an American sized tip if you flirt."

"Using your sex appeal to get money dear?" Drahke teased her.

"Where do you think I'd learn a bad habit like that?" Raven smirked at her ex before taking another sip of her drink. "Seriously though, working at the brothel taught me some very valuable things, like how to get money out of men."

"You worked at a brothel?" Zoe's innocent question made Raven cringe on the inside, but she kept a calm appearance. The girl didn't know? Did she know about Drahke?

Raven glanced at Heather and got a slight tilt of Heather's head in response. This one was all hers. "I did a little time doing books and stuff there." She left out being a madam. It had taken her a while to tell Terrance about that particular job and he'd teased her for a few days afterwards, but Raven didn't know Zoe well enough to know how she'd feel about it. Some people seemed to think Madams preyed on innocent young women to force them into a life of hell. It wasn't like that. They weren't pimps. "The things you can hear…" Here words trailed off. "Well, it was an education." Drahke chuckled.

"I'll bet." Heather smirked at her. "Does anyone want more wine? I can open another bottle." Heather got up and while she was getting the wine Zoe was bringing out dessert, as if anyone had room for it.

"Well, is there anywhere you haven't been?" Alex asked with a soft smile.

"Home. I can't go home." Raven held Alex's eyes as she noticed the flinch. She watched the blonde's eyes widen a little through the glasses and Raven nodded. "Not safe." She added quietly, but turned to smile at Zoe when the girl came back to the table with something new. She'd let Alex think about that. Raven did notice the nod and look of appreciation Drahke gave her.

……………

After dinner Zoe left for a friends house and a small party. Drahke pulled Heather away to talk to her about something and it left Raven alone with her ex's new love. It was probably a calculated move. "What do you do for a living?" Alex asked her.

"Anything, everything." Raven sighed. "I've been construction, a masseuse, a tour guide, I've worked in retail" Raven nodded towards Drahke, "I've been a Madam."

"That's a pretty wide range." Alex stared at her and Raven got the impression this woman as a trial lawyer. "What are you doing now?"

"I can't tell anyone." Raven gave Alex a weak smile. "Just like I can't tell anyone where I live right now. I live a life for a few months and I have to move on. I didn't start this wanting to see the world Alex." Raven sighed and decided to spell it out, knowing this was Alex's cover and she couldn't make the first move, while Raven wasn't risking an identity to do this. "I change identities every few months, move around, take different jobs, because I'm being hunted."

Alex's eyes widened a little at the confirmation of what she clearly suspected. "You're in Witness Protection?"

"Not the government's version, but yes. I have friends that help me. I know people that taught me how to make a new identity, how to try and blend into a new job. Someone that tells me when its time to go and leave everything behind yet again." Raven sighed. "And I have a boy that I drag around in that with me." Raven's shoulder's slumped as she glanced toward the hall that Drahke and Heather had taken and then back at Alex, "and Drahke doesn't even know my real name."

"Why are you telling me this." Alex asked, but it was pretty clear she knew.

"Because Drahke doesn't know your real name either, and she thinks since I've been at this for almost three years I might have something profound to tell you." Raven sighed and gave Alex a slightly pitying look. "but I don't. It's lonely as hell, and if I didn't have this home base I'd feel so lost. I write letters on the way out of town and mail them off, but I can never get letters back. I keep people at a distance so I don't have to make up lies about my past or remember the lies I've been given. I paint everywhere I go, I keep my passions, my hobbies, because I need them. I need them to remember who I really am, because it would be so easy to forget."

There was silence after Raven spoke and Raven didn't try to fill it. "She was right. You did have something profound to say." Alex whispered and Raven noticed the glassy eyes. It felt a bit awkward, but Raven leaned forward and pulled the woman into a hug.

………………

Drahke pulled Raven aside while she and Alex were getting ready to leave. "I want to show you something. Will you come with me while I drop Alex off?"

It took two hours after dropping the lawyer off at her apartment before Drahke pulled into a driveway, off of a very small road. They went up a green hill and stopped. "We're here." Drahke smiled at Raven and got out of the car before answering where here was. The woman hadn't given Raven any idea what they were doing during the entire drive.

Raven followed Drahke up the hill a bit further and noticed the hole being dug at the top of it. "What is this?"

"This is my new brothel." Drahke's smile lit up the woman's face as she beamed at the construction site. "Alex told me I should see if I could get a backer, so I didn't have to work on my back any more. I found a company willing to put down some cash. It would have taken me years to get what they gave me. I'll be up and running by this time next year Raven." Drahke's voice cracked and Raven moved to pull the woman into her arms. "My dream, I wanted you to see I'm getting it. I wanted to share this with you."

"The painting from Canada is for you." Raven spoke quietly while taking in Drahke's pride, it seemed to emanate from her. "Lady Heather said Mistress's should be larger than life, and I figured you should have a housewarming gift. I knew you'd get there baby." Heather had shown Raven the boxes of art, but they weren't opening them to look. It was more self control than Raven expected, somehow she'd thought Drahke would have found her gift by now.

"When you stop running, come home." Drahke wrapped her arms around Raven so they could both stare at the construction. It really was a beautiful location. "I know of at least three people that would hire you instantly. Lois already told you that, but when I get this up I wouldn't mind a Madam that can double as a bouncer either, and I'm sure Heather would love to teach you all about the ropes at her place." Drahke's voice took on a teasing purr.

"That's different from showing me the ropes isn't it?" Raven teased back and leaned into Drahke's body. "I missed you."

"Missed you too." Drahke just continued to hold her. "It's gonna look like a big house. I worked with the architects in designing it, and if business is really good I'll add an addition over there." Drahke pointed beyond the construction site. "Like Heather did when she added the poolhouse to the club."

"You're girlfriend must not be the jealous type, letting you take me out here." Raven finally said something about the holding.

"You know a jealous lover wouldn't have any interest in a woman like me. I was still turning tricks when I met her." Drahke sighed. "Still she wouldn't touch me while I was working. She's not quite as understanding as you. She came in like a Knight trying to get me out of that business." Raven felt a kiss to her cheek and closed her eyes. "You're one of a kind Raven. You're actually happy for me, for my getting this building started. I can't say Alex understands what this means to me, even though she helped me. To her, this is just making sure I'm not working on my back anymore. It really bothered her."

"I'm sorry." Raven gently caressed one of Drahke's arms, which held Raven tight.

"You seeing anyone?" Drahke asked quietly, and the tension in her voice caused Raven's heart to start to beat faster.

"I have an off and on lover." Raven sighed and tried to relax. "She finds me a few times a year and we date and have sex, and never talk about a future."

"Can you revisit your past?" Drahke whispered softly into her ear seductively. "I've missed you."

"What about Alex?"

"We never talk about the future either." Drahke's voice sounded sad. "Some loves are meant to be temporary, and what Alex and I have falls into that. I think she had to leave a lover behind when she left wherever she came from. I hear her crying out for someone called Olivia in her sleep sometimes, but she doesn't talk to me about it. I'm just keeping her warm for her lover."

"I know what you mean." Raven had to swallow hard, because she did know what Drahke meant. Mystique was always going to be Irene's. The woman didn't love her, she cared, but she wasn't in love with Raven.

"I wish more construction was done." Drahke sighed. "How do you feel about making love in the backseat of a car?" Drahke's seductive whisper teased Raven and Raven chuckled.

"Not really a good idea for us. I need more room."

"Shame, it would have been exciting, rolling around in the backseat like a couple of teenagers."

A wave of nervous guilt ran through her but Raven could still hear Mystique telling her she wanted Raven to have lovers. It wasn't like she hadn't been with Drahke before. Raven wasn't just picking up random lovers that meant nothing. "I could use a night of being young." She turned and took Drahke's hand in hers while backing up toward the car. This was going to take some creativity, but Raven was going to make love in the backseat of a car for the first time.

Drahke kissed her deeply when she dropped Raven off at Heather's house a few hours later. Raven pretended to not see the tears in Drahke's eyes at yet another goodbye and Drahke returned the favor by only quietly brushing the tears off of Raven's cheeks before kissing her again. "You be careful." Drahke whispered to Raven before pulling away.

It was hard to leave again the next day, but Raven hugged Heather and made her way through the doors she'd used a few years before.

…………….

It wasn't even two weeks after she got back from Vegas that they moved on. Raven stared out at the snow coming down from a window at her new job, dreading that she would have to go out in it. They didn't even have a car.

"County General Hospital…" She heard the admit desk answering the phone and it shook her out of her staring.

"You look like you're about to storm a castle." A slightly amused voice spoke to her and Raven turned to see one of the Doctors moving her way, the cane the woman used moved with her as if it were a part of her own body, which had to be a trick that took years to learn.

"Dr. Weaver." Raven nodded a little in greeting. Raven didn't know many names yet, but Dr. Kerry Weaver wasn't someone you forgot.

"Raven isn't it?"

"Yes Ma'am." Raven smiled just a little, keeping her very slight southern accent going. It was easier to pretend to be covering the accent than explain why someone claiming to be from Mississippi didn't have one all the time. Her time with Rogue was paying off, not that she'd been as social with the girl as Christy had been.

"I need to change your shift for tomorrow." Dr. Weaver moved to lightly take Raven's elbow, before moving to the side of the walkway. Raven hadn't even noticed she'd been in the way of the lucky customer on the portable bed. "I was thinking you could work in a new position, bent over my desk."

"What?" Raven just stared a moment, sure she misheard it, when she saw the flash of yellow eyes and the mischievous smirk.

"Shit, you scared me." Raven glared at her lover. "And you shouldn't impersonate her; you might end up having to operate on someone."

"What? You don't want to play doctor with me?" It was a little strange to see that seductive look on Dr. Weaver's face. It didn't look bad, Raven mused before shaking her head clear of that thought and turning to look at the door again.

"I'm off, let's get out of here."

"She's such a short little thing. I was surprised when I saw you staring at her." Mystique spoke quietly while walking out the door with Raven. "Not really your type is she?" Raven didn't bother to correct Mystique and tell her that Dr. Weaver was exactly her type, strong, in charge, commanding but still compassionate, that was Raven's type.

"She is a red head." Raven offered as they walked out the door and the moment no one was looking she found herself walking next to a different woman, still not blue, but otherwise it was Mystique's true form, bundled up against the cold better than Raven was.

"Reconsidering my offer to be anyone you want? I'm up for games tonight, I feel frisky."

"When are you not feeling frisky?" Raven faked a smile, while wondering if she should admit that she'd been with someone else, but then again she was sure Mystique slept around and Raven had never heard details about that. It was just expected.

When they got to the apartment Mystique glanced around. "Where's the boy?"

"On a date."

Mystique turned to look at her with a grin on her face. "You mean we're alone?" Her skin shifted to blue and the bulky winter clothes faded into Mystique's normal clothes.

Raven took in the outfit and spoke softly. "You'd look better in leather pants." She repeated words Christy had said years ago. Raven's eyes captured Mystique's and held them. "Change for me." Her words held a hint of a command and Raven waited to see if that was okay. Mystique just gave her a curious look and shifted into leather pants and a leather halter.

"Yes." Raven unwrapped the scarf around her throat as she walked around Mystique looking at the woman from every angle. "Very nice." When Mystique moved to turn and look at her when Raven stopped to remove her coat Raven spoke again. "No, don't move. Just stand there."

"Feeling bossy?" Mystique asked as she continued to turn, ruining the illusion.

"Terrance will probably be away until tomorrow morning. He's learned the joy of sex." Raven set her coat on the couch. She nibbled her lips a little nervously before asking. "Can I show you what I meant by being my mistress? Will you be my submissive tonight?" She wasn't really sure Mystique would say yes, she was so strong the thought of dominating her was intimidating, but if Raven ever wanted a Mistress she'd have to train this woman to be that for her.

"You seem so sweet," Mystique smirked at her, "hard to believe you're the kinkiest lover I've ever had. What is it with you and this?"

Raven struggled to find the words. "I need," Her words trailed off. Her words became softer, hoping she could talk Mystique into this. "I need this. I've always felt," Her eyebrows drew together as she fought for the words, "I want to submit. I want a lover powerful enough to make me. Even as a kid I fantasized about a woman that would be so strong she'd…" Her words trailed off again and Raven took a deep breath. "Yes, they used me and they perverted my fantasies, but they were my fantasies before I ever walked into that club. They're mine, and I won't let what happened take that from me."

Mystique's amusement faded and she gave Raven a concerned look that quickly changed to support. "You want to play Mistress tonight?"

"I want to show you my fantasies. You're too gentle with me; I want to show you what I really want." Raven sat back on the arm of the couch, feeling very exposed but trying to not show that. "It might be more than you expect and I'll stop if you want, but…"

"You need this." Mystique finished for her gently.

"I need this." Raven confirmed it.

"I role play all the time, I guess it wouldn't hurt to do it a new way." Mystique looked down at her own clothes. "This isn't really subby wear is it?"

"Not really." Raven's eyes caressed Mystique as she tried to think of something to dress the woman in that would be better. Finally she just decided on a few items. "You need a collar and cuffs." Raven stared into Mystique's eyes. "I'll never tie you down, and I can't be tied down, not yet. I'm not ready." Selene had tied her down and it would take a while to be ready for that again, to trust anyone enough for that. She noticed the hint of command in her voice and rather than temper it with a soft comment at the end she let it sit that way. "Can you submit?"

"I'm a spy, I can do anything." Mystique gave Raven a half smile.

"Okay." Raven took a deep breath. "I need to go change my clothes." Her leather pants and halter, and she'd add the jacket as well. Mistresses tended to wear more than their submissives and if Raven was letting Mystique wear pants she'd need to wear more. "Change the pants to leather underwear." She ordered as she left the room. A little more apparent inequality would help.

After changing her clothes she didn't rush back out to the living room. Raven instead stood in front of her bedroom mirror and stared at herself. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and she added thick makeup around her eyes and deep red lipstick to her lips. She straightened her shoulders and took a few breaths to calm her nerves.

It was Lady Raven that opened that door and looked around the living room with a bit of disappointment at the décor, which didn't lend itself to the illusion. She could understand why Lady Heather insisted that Raven have Mistress clothes now, the atmosphere was important. She'd just have to overcome that if she could.

Mystique was standing by the dining table looking through Raven's sketchbook. Raven's eyes trailed over Mystique's flesh, taking in the long legs that no longer were covered, and hoping that they could do this. Raven felt a rush of adrenaline at the images in her mind of what she'd like to do with Mystique. She was surprised at her own anticipation, because this wasn't her role she was playing.

"Rabbit." Raven spoke lazily, mindful of her role. "You find that it's no longer fun you say that and I'll stop. If you can't promise me you'll use it if you need it I can't play." Mystique turned to look at her and Raven felt some satisfaction at the slight widening of her eyes. "If you can't put your macho aside and admit it if you want to stop I can't do this Mystique. I can't risk abusing you."

Mystique actually seemed to think about it, so when she finally said she could do that Raven believed her. "I would never let you abuse me either Mystique. I know the word and I'd use it." She whispered, remembering Heather telling her Mystique was afraid to hurt her. Raven's back straightened and she obviously looked around the living room. "This apartment is so inadequate for this, but we'll muddle through. Come." She waved Mystique over to her commandingly. When the blue spy stopped in front of her Raven nodded her approval at the lowered eyes and slightly militaristic stance. "Stand still, I want to look at you." Raven smiled just a little and felt a small rush of power as she ran her hands slowly over blue shoulders and down blue arms, whispering her appraisal of the body of her submissive while Mystique remained frozen, open to her every look and touch. Raven didn't touch her sexually at all, she wanted Mystique to understand the painful pleasure of denial and the way it intensified every touch.

Her voice was soft and seductive. "You can call me Lady Raven or Mistress." Raven started to lay out the rules. "You don't speak unless I ask you a question, unless you really need to, in which case you need to signal for permission to talk." Raven stepped around to the front of Mystique and stared at her, unable to believe this strong woman was standing in front of her with her head bowed like this. It was an incredible gift, and it showed how much Mystique must care. Raven took a deep breath and pushed the tender emotions away so she could stay in the role. "You are here for my pleasure, and I'll tell you what gives me pleasure. Do you understand?"

"Yes Lady Raven." Mystique spoke softly, and it clashed with everything Raven knew about the woman. Was it harder to play a role in your true form when you usually use another for that? Raven did notice that Mystique chose to not call her Mistress and it made her smile just a little.

"You are so beautiful." Raven reached out and caressed fiery hair. "Exotic," Her words seemed to fall from her easily, more easily than normally. "I love the color blue on you. It's a shame it's such a rare color." Her hands trailed over soft blue cheeks. "You do know that's why I prefer your real form don't you? Because you are so beautiful." Mystique didn't respond, but then it wasn't a real question. Raven did notice a flinch of surprise at her words though, and it saddened her that Mystique wouldn't have known the truth of it. She really should have said something sooner.

She felt a wave of awkwardness as she debated about what to do with her submissive now that she had one. Her own fantasies might be too demeaning for Mystique, but then how could Raven let Mystique know what was okay if she didn't show her? Raven straightened her shoulders and reminded herself to trust Mystique. She had to trust her to stop it if she needed to. Raven walked around Mystique's still body, taking in the slight shifting from foot to foot and the tension. "That stunt you pulled at work wasn't very well thought out. What if I'd taken Dr. Weaver up on her offer later? You could have cost me another job." Her voice was low and dangerous. "You play your games, use sex as a weapon, and think I'll never punish you for it. Well, you're wrong." Raven smirked just a little as she looked down at the barely covered deep blue rear and imagined the nice purple hue she planned to instill. She glanced around the living room, looking for some inspiration on how to go about this, and wished she had a footstool or even a bean bag. Well Mystique was a tall woman, and the couch was no loss if it didn't survive this.

Raven strode over to the couch confidently and grabbed the table on the side of it, pulling it away. She grabbed the pillows and put them on the side next to that arm of it and then turned to Mystique. "Lean over the arm and grip the couch cushion." She ordered and had to stare a moment longer to make herself seem more powerful and dangerous to cross.

"Yes Lady Raven." Mystique's voice held a small hint of amusement at the order. Raven didn't let herself share the slight smile, she just helped Mystique get into position.

"Bare bottom." Raven spoke in a soft voice and remembered how Tessa had spanked her. Her hands caressed Mystique as she pulled the panties down to mid thigh, using them to hold Mystique's legs together while she did this. Raven caressed soft blue skin with light touches, before pulling her arm back and cupping her hand so that the sound would be loud when it finally connected. Mystique's body jumped a little at the contact. "You'll need a pillow to sit on tomorrow." She warned her lover, before pulling her hand back for another hit.

The sound of flesh on flesh, the loud slaps, filled the living room and seemed to echo. Raven stared at the flesh taking on the desired hue, listened to the labored breathing and the soft whimpers as she contacted sore flesh. Her own hand stung a bit. Raven stopped the spanking to caress the sore flesh slowly, her hand dipping down to see if Mystique found this as erotic as she did. Raven could feel her own wetness, her own arousal at being able to do this to Mystique and was a bit surprised she would like this end of the game.

Mystique wasn't as wet as Raven was, but that could be fixed. With slow light touches Raven caressed Mystique's sex, circling the areas that would want her touch the most. She slowly teased, watching as Mystique's body grew tense and the slight rocking on the couch arm started. She slapped Mystique hard once. "No, don't seek a release. I'll give you one if I deem you worthy." She spoke harshly, and could almost hear Emma Frost in her own words. It made her wish Heather had shown her more, so that Raven had other points of reference than that week she'd been a prisoner.

It forced her to admit to herself that there were moments she'd enjoyed of that week, that she couldn't blame all of that on Christy. It was probably only Raven's desire to submit that made any of that good for them, she doubted a strong woman like Christy had that strong of a submissive streak.

"I'm sorry Lady Raven." Mystique spoke and her voice sounded a little rough, but the amusement was still there. It was a game to her, but it was better than it being a torture. Raven suspected Mystique didn't get the same out of being a submissive that Raven got, but if Mystique was willing to play they'd continue.

"You will be. I want you to pleasure me, and don't you dare think of slipping one of your hands between your own thighs." Raven ran her hand over purple tinted flesh slowly, feeling the heat of it. Blue skin made the normal blush of abuse more interesting to look at. Raven moved to help support Mystique as the woman moved to stand, and she could see some soreness that Raven made a mental note to massage out later. It was an awkward position she'd put Mystique into. She pulled Mystique's panties back up. "Undress me."

"Are you sure Terrance isn't coming back, because this is a big show we'd be sharing." Mystique glanced at the door and Raven was irritated at the reminder she didn't live alone at that particular moment.

"If I want to show you off, you'll just look forward and submit." Raven spoke a little harshly, instead of telling Mystique that Terrance had told her that he was sleeping somewhere else that night. The boy knew to always let her know where he was just in case there was trouble. Terrance had developed into a very good looking young man and other men noticed. Raven did her best to not nag him about his tendency to date when they knew they weren't staying. She didn't want to break hearts, but she didn't have the right to tell him to forgo that part of his life. "Now undress me." Mystique stared at her a moment, the look on her face making Raven think Mystique was surprised Raven wasn't breaking character for a simple question.

Two hours later Raven had Mystique on the bed and was gently rewarding her for her obedience. Raven massaged sore muscles and caressed flesh, while listening to the soft sighs of her partner. Once she was done with her backside, which took most of the abuse, Raven had Mystique roll over and she stared into yellow eyes. "You did very well." Raven spoke softly, tenderly. "Thank you."

"You really are the kinkiest lover I've had in years." Mystique smiled just a little. "You want that? I never would have tried some of that with you, it seems a bit,"

"Demeaning? Abusive?" Raven felt a hint of a blush on her cheeks as she filled in words.

"That about covers it." Mystique agreed while Raven moved down to kneel between Mystique's feet. Raven stared at the exposed sex and licked her lips just a little, stopping Mystique's words before another sentence was uttered.

"Don't move." Raven ordered quietly and leaned down into her lover's sex, her arms reaching out to hold the spy's arms down as Raven did something submissive in a dominate way. She slowly pleasured her lover, tormented her, consumed her. She listened to Mystique's breathing become ragged and she smiled wickedly when she finally heard Mystique beg.

…………….

"Professor Peterson." A voice called out in the hall and Raven stopped walking to turn and look at the girl walking her way quickly. "Professor." She looked familiar.

"Yes?" Raven asked once she wouldn't have to yell down the hall like a teenager. The word Professor paired with her new identity wasn't comfortable. Whenever she heard that word she thought of someone else, someone she didn't like, someone who'd taken her trust and betrayed her. "Call me Raven." She smiled at the girl.

The girl looked a little flustered at that, but she got to the point of this mad rush. "I have to miss Wednesday's class, and I was hoping I could go to your Thursday class to make it up."

Raven hated to admit she didn't know which of the classes she taught the girl was talking about. Her job was new and she had to think for a moment to figure out what class it might be. "Yeah, that works. I'm doing the same lecture both days." It was Art History. She was teaching two sections of that, one section of drawing and one section of painting.

"Thank you Professor." The girl smiled and Raven resisted the impulse to remind the girl yet again not to call her that.

Raven left the building and glanced around at the trees. Fall brought out some really pretty colors and she almost wished she had time to paint some of it even though she wasn't one for painting landscapes.

"You have a message." The secretary told her as Raven pulled out her mail from the box and she took the piece of paper.

"Thanks Carol." Raven glanced at the paper and found her plans for the night were shot. Terrance had a group meeting he hadn't been aware of. It wasn't like Raven was going to begrudge Terrance his effort to get good grades his first semester in college. Still it hurt a little, because she knew her time with him was limited. He was eighteen, he wanted a future, and she knew he was getting tired of running, she could see it in his eyes. His scholarship was for four years. The Adler foundation arranged for his tuition and text books to be paid for and if he had a dorm that would be covered as well, and while it was good at any school, it was made out to one name, Terrance Peterson. Irene hadn't really been too secretive about it. It was the large elephant in the house that neither of them brought up. Terrance wasn't moving on, but Raven was.

Raven didn't bother going home after work, since she'd just be alone and somehow being alone right now didn't appeal to her. She craved people, it was her loneliness starting early.

It was the voice that drew her attention out of the book she was looking at first. There was something familiar about it. Raven looked over toward the woman asking about a book she'd ordered and almost dismissed her instincts, almost, until the woman turned to glance at the rest of the bookstore while the clerk looked for the order.

Raven set her book down and moved toward the counter, watching as Alex's eyes noticed her and the shock she saw there was something Raven could relate to. She'd never run into an old face at a new life. Keeping her voice down Raven smiled, "Alex."

"Emily." Alex replied quietly, making it clear that was her new name.

"Raven Peterson." Raven got a little closer and glanced around at no one paying them any attention. "Free for dinner?"

She could see Alex debating about it and was relieved when she heard the answer she wanted to hear. "My place, so we can talk?"

"Lead the way." Raven smiled, feeling a little less lonely.

She followed a small car into a rather boring looking neighborhood with only three different houses, repeated down the street. Alex's house was white and actually had a white picket fence. It really didn't suit the woman Raven had met for dinner all those months ago.

This also meant poor Drahke had lost another lover to the run. Raven sighed heavily as she put her car in park and turned it off.

Alex actually remembered that Raven didn't drink. It was a nice touch and Raven sat on the couch in the sterile living room with fake pictures of a past she doubted Alex really had. "I'm an insurance claims adjuster now." Alex sat down heavily, clearly weary.

"I'm an Art Professor at the University of Wisconsin." She knew her job was above her and that Alex's was way below that woman. She wouldn't doubt Alex was more than just a lawyer, she was probably a very good one in her real life. "But I've done crappy stints before too."

"They want this stint to be the one I stay in." Alex looked lost and Raven set her glass down and scooted closer. "All those years at Law school and now this." Alex looked around the house. "I even hate the furniture."

Raven pulled Alex into her arms. "Then get rid of the furniture." She spoke softly. "Make this your own, don't let them have that much control."

"I still jog. They wanted me to quit or join a gym, but it's my passion and you said to hold onto those." Alex's body was tense but it was starting to relax. "I still read law journals too."

"That's good. Keep up, you won't be running forever."

"They say that many people who go into the program never get out. They want me to just build a life here. Get married, settle down." Alex's voice cracked. "Don't you ever miss your old life?" Raven just stared at her for a moment. Alex needed this, and the woman was family in a strange way. The ex lover of my ex lover, her mind distorted a different saying… well, the weirdness of it didn't fail to make it seem right to share. Drahke had wanted Raven to help Alex.

"Some parts of it, but I chose to run from that life. There isn't anyone I'm going to be a witness against. My enemies are too powerful to fight and I didn't want to make it easy for them to find me." Her voice softened with her quiet pain, "I miss my friends and sometimes I miss what I used to do. I miss some of my other lives, like the one I had in Vegas."

"Why are you running, I mean, can I ask that?" Alex seemed hesitant and Raven felt a rush of adrenaline as soon as she heard the question. "I know I'm not supposed to share anything, but I was prosecuting a case against a very powerful and corrupt man and I didn't want to let him get away with murder. He decided adding a few more murders would take care of his legal problems and put a hit out on me." Vague enough. Raven suspected something like that but Alex managed to say it without giving details. Still it was an act of trust.

"I was spying on some people and got caught. They kept me prisoner for a week, raped me repeatedly and were most likely going to kill me or sell me into lifelong slavery when my friends got me out of there."

"I used to prosecute rapists." Alex's eyes were soft, but not pitying, as she extended the trust game just a little further. Raven started to wonder how far she'd go with this. It had been years since she'd been run out of a town with people right on her heels. "You couldn't go to the police?"

"They were powerful people, some were telepaths." Raven sighed. "They control too much."

"I went up against a drug cartel, because someone has to try to get justice."

"But what if your cartel had the power to control what people thought? What if they could just make evidence disappear, or control the jury's minds?" Raven sighed. "Would you expect any justice then?" Raven felt a small hint of bitterness. "I didn't stand up and you did, but we're both in Wisconsin. Doesn't look like justice is all that powerful." Alex didn't have anything to say to that right away. Silence filled the room.

"I would have taken your case regardless." Alex spoke softly and Raven's jaw clenched as she tried to not tear up. It was a good friend that would try, at least try. The Professor hadn't been willing to.

Raven took a deep breath and stared at Alex long enough for the woman to blush just a little, in spite of her very in control posture. "Thanks." She didn't know what else to say. After that talk Raven needed something less emotional, so she started to talk about her new job. They shared dinner while complaining about how hard it was to dodge questions sometimes and the sense of guilt that comes with lying, even though it was something they had to do.

It was nearly ten when Raven stood at the door to leave. "Perhaps we could do dinner again?" Alex asked. "It's so nice to be me, or at least mostly me."

"At least I know you aren't who you claim to be." Raven spoke softly, understanding that they weren't completely honest about themselves, but at least they knew that.

"How is that boy of yours?" It was like Alex just remembered there was another person in this boat.

"He just started college where I work." Raven smiled just a little, remembering how excited he'd been. "He's not leaving when I do. His running is over."

"But he's not going home?" Alex asked.

"He never wanted to. He's a gay mutant and his father had serious problems with that." Raven stood in the opened doorway and fidgeted a little. It was an idea and it would make her feel better. "I'd like you to meet him. He can know you as Emily if that's better, but it would be nice if he wasn't completely alone when I leave."

"I don't know." Alex sounded hesitant.

"I'm leaving him completely alone. I can't call him, can't check up on him. I can send letters but I can't get letters back." Raven took a shuddering breath. "I'm not asking that you adopt him. I just want him to have an adult friend to back him up. I've been there Alex, and having someone around that you don't feel you have to protect yourself against once in a while is nice. He won't ask questions if you tell him you can't give him answers. I trained him that way. He doesn't know my real name, and he knows that. With telepaths interested in me, I can't be honest with people I know I could trust to take it to the grave, because he wouldn't need to say anything to betray me."

"Maybe he could come to dinner some time." Alex gave in just a little. "But I still would like to see you alone." Raven nodded that she understood. She'd earned Alex's trust, but Terrance would have to do that on his own.

It was early December that she got the letter and Terrance glanced over at her as she read it, understanding that this was it. "You have Emily's number." She spoke softly as she took in her ticket.

"Raven." His voice was soft as he got up. She tried, she really did, but tears streamed down her face in spite of her determination to be strong.

"I'll write whenever I leave, like I do for the others." The other friends she'd made along the way.

"Raven." He spoke again and Raven felt the gentle touch on her shoulder. She turned the ticket so he couldn't see where she'd be going and it hurt to do that, but it was survival for both of them. She didn't want anyone thinking to use him against her. Terrance pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry."

"No, you have to have a life. It's time." She hugged him tight. He never had to say he was staying.

"When do you leave?" He asked and her heart felt like it was tearing.

"Now. I have to leave right now." Why she was being sent to Afghanistan was a mystery, but Irene said it was urgent. Raven was concerned.

This time it was Terrance driving her to the airport and Raven marched stiffly through the doors, doing her best to not look back. He had Alex, it was something. Alex promised she'd keep an eye on him for her for as long as she could.

…………….

Morgan sat down next to Raven and slid a letter towards her. Raven briefly took in the tension in the woman's face. "We're supposed to trade bags." Morgan told her firmly and Raven looked down to the twins of her own bags. Her bags were filled with things that meant something to her. Irene's assistant would take care of them, and Raven believed she'd see them again.

The tension in the air was probably normal around here, and Raven noticed the amount of guns as well. Irene had sent her into hell, and there had to be a reason. Raven stood up while finishing her drink and grabbed three bags on her way out the door.

Her hotel was a bit run down and the desk clerk glared at her a bit. She was a woman walking around uncovered after all. Raven glared at him and asked for her room key in Pashto, surprising him.

She remembered Tessa teaching her the language during their long shut in times during their training together. Tessa had come from a village around here, had carried guns around just like the men outside did.

Once she had some privacy she pulled out the note and read it. Her body became rigid as she recognized the danger. Mystique had been captured and it looked like she needed a rescue.

This was the type of mission she would never have been allowed to go on as an Xman, and her lover needed her to do it right. Raven took a deep breath and started to look at the supplies she'd been given, as well as the instructions. It was like Irene was going to be with her every step of the way, but Irene needed a champion to do this, and Morgan didn't speak the language.

It felt like forever, but it was two days later that Raven drove into the small village. She prayed like she hadn't prayed in forever that Mystique was okay, untouched, as she got out of the vehicle. The fake beard itched in the heat, but she didn't scratch. She went in as a young man, knives and guns strapped to her body and only one in her hand, clear for all to see. Raven showed no emotion as she walked into the building and sat down at the table Irene told her to sit at. It had a view of the front of another building, the one she knew Mystique was in.

In Pashto and a slightly deeper voice she ordered a drink, and read the local paper while she waited. Reading the language was always hard for her, because of the way she was taught. Tessa used to quiz her while Raven drew, they didn't write much.

Some other men in the place asked her questions, suspicious of a stranger in their town. Raven answered briefly, claiming to be on his way to see his betrothed in another village. The details Tessa had given her about her home town were enough to make her sound authentic, even though the information was years old. The others eventually stopped paying attention to her.

The man she was waiting for walked toward the building and Raven tossed her money on the table and left, nodding politely to the waiter.

Raven was terrified that her hand would jerk again, like it did with Christy. She felt worried sick about what Mystique had been going through. She felt ready to kill, and a part of her was upset that it wasn't a harder decision to make.

She walked faster and caught up to her prey just as he got to the door, tossing him inside and as he fell her gun was in her hand. Don't think, she repeated to herself as she pulled the trigger again and again, keeping most of the men away from where they'd stored their guns. Men fell, bullets started towards her and she didn't flinch, didn't move, just like Irene told her. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, standing still and not taking cover. Her hand shook a little with the effort. Raven stood in the doorway shooting even as a bullet carved its way through her shoulder, and other bullets hit the doorway on either side of her as the brothers Irene warned her about shot at where she could run to instead of where she was.

"RAVEN" A familiar voice screamed and Raven turned her gun to the voice, seeing the man standing behind Mystique. Don't think, she repeated again and took aim without even a pause, shooting towards the woman she'd come here to save. The bullet was aimed right at Mystique's head and Raven sent all her thoughts to a pray to Irene, please be right, please be right.

Mystique jerked to the side at the last minute and Raven felt the death, yet another death, hit her. "You missed me lover?" Mystique teased while struggling with her chains. Raven moved almost mechanically to her, taking keys from a fallen man and unlocking the spy.

"Don't tempt me to try again." She gave Mystique a weak smile. She stood looking at the bloody room as Mystique removed the inhibitor they'd put on her so she couldn't use her powers. She didn't have time to let the horror of what she was seeing touch her now. Irene was very specific about everything Raven was supposed to do. "Can you shift?" A brief nod was all she got, so Raven pointed to a man, the one she'd followed in and shot in the back of the head in the commotion. "Be him. Irene said be him."

They drove out of there. Raven took in the way Mystique moved, and the obvious sore ribs. She wondered what damage she wasn't seeing. "Dammit, you were shot." Mystique's voice drew Raven's attention back to reality, and she hadn't even noticed herself staring blankly. "Hold something to it. We have to stop the bleeding." Raven tried to hold the towel she was given to her shoulder for the rest of the trip, but when she fell unconscious it slipped from her hands.

Six men. Raven stared up at the ceiling shortly after regaining consciousness, trying to ignore the pain while Morgan sewed her back up. Six men, she killed six. They were bad men, they must be to beat up on Mystique after she'd been captured. It almost felt like Christy was saying the words with her in her mind, they were bad and would have done bad things. Raven sighed as Morgan finished up with the sewing and put a bandage over the stitches. She had yet another scar to add to her collection.

"Is she okay?" Raven asked again, forgetting she'd asked three times already. The pain killers didn't numb all the pain, but they did make it hard for Raven to follow anything or remember.

"She's resting." Morgan spoke patiently. "She has some bruised ribs and will be sore for a while, but she's okay."

"They didn't hurt her?" Hurt wasn't the word she was really thinking, but Raven didn't want to say rape while thinking of her lover at the same time, it was too close to her nightmares lately. Her nights since she'd found out Mystique had been captured had been filled with nightmares.

"They didn't find my blue skin nearly as exotic as you do. They wouldn't touch me with their flesh, afraid I'd curse them." Another voice answered gently. "I'm okay, really I am." Mystique moved into Raven's line of sight and gave Raven such a tender and concerned look. Raven let out a breath she'd been holding, along with some tension. "You get some rest and we'll head out in the morning." Mystique gently caressed Raven's hair, fingers caressed her cheek and Raven finally noticed her fake beard had been removed at some point.

The next morning Raven was moving very slowly, carefully, to avoid pulling on her stitches. She noticed Mystique's interested look when she told the hotel clerk she was checking out. Mystique was in a different form, but the expressions were still all her own and easy to read.

"How many languages do you speak?" Mystique asked quietly as they walked out to the car and Morgan.

"Well, I was barely passable in French, but that got better. I know enough Spanish, Russian, and German to just barely survive, and then there's Pashto." Mystique helped her into the car and then got in after her. Morgan was ignored as the woman started to drive. It was pretty rare to actually see Morgan; Irene had pulled out her all for this mission, including the rather reclusive blonde. "I was left behind on a lot of missions, and the other mutant that got left behind a lot was Doug. He helped me practice, since his power was speaking all the languages." She didn't volunteer that it was the other team members that taught her enough to start, and then she worked with Doug, because no one knew there was woman from Afghanistan on the team.

They landed in Austria and Raven could see Mystique's weariness, and it worried her. The woman seemed withdrawn and quiet.

They spent a quiet holiday season in Mystique's home land recovering from Afghanistan, Raven taking much longer than Mystique to do it. It was right after she got home from her first appointment with a physical therapist that Raven walked into their apartment and could tell immediately that something was wrong. Even the air felt tense.

"So, are you going to regain mobility?" Mystique asked quietly, without even turning away from the stove.

"He thinks I should be fine with a little exercise. It missed most of the really important stuff." Raven said a little warily as she pulled her coat off.

"Well that's good." Mystique still didn't turn around and Raven felt like alarms were going off in her head. Something was wrong. Something had been wrong their entire time here, but Mystique insisted she hadn't been raped, and that the abuse was really rather tame compared to other missions. "I was thinking I should head out soon." Mystique put the lid on the pot of whatever she was cooking and finally turned to look at Raven. Raven didn't like the look in her lover's eyes.

"Okay, well, I might stick around here a little longer." She was hoping the apartment would be made available to her while she worked on healing. Normally she wouldn't question that it would be, but something was off and Raven felt disoriented.

"You do that." Mystique sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. "Look, Raven, we need to talk."

"That never sounds good." She gave Mystique a weak smile, hoping to get one back, but she didn't get it.

"I'm sorry." Mystique gave her a sympathetic look and Raven's heart started to pound as fear hit her. "This isn't working out."

"What do you mean?" Raven couldn't believe Mystique was dumping her. Her face paled at the mere thought of it. It wasn't like she asked anything of the woman, she didn't even ask her to be faithful. She didn't bother Mystique about rarely seeing her, even though she would have wanted to see her more. She listened to stories about Irene without jealousy, what else could she do?

"Us, this us thing. It isn't working." Mystique played with her glass and Raven just stared. "I'm not looking for serious, I'm just after a little fun."

"I didn't ask for a commitment." Raven finally spoke a hint of her anger leaking through. "I never have. I know you sleep around and I've never asked you to stop."

"It isn't sleeping around if all we have is a little fun." Mystique took a deep breath. "You're a great woman Raven and we've had a lot of fun, but it isn't enough for you."

"I never said that."

"You don't need to. I'm never going to be what you need."

"God dammit Mystique, you're the only thing constant in my life." Tears were starting to fall, and Raven brushed at them angrily.

Mystique stood up and walked to the window. "And that's not a good enough reason to stay with me. Some day you'll stop running and you'll have that stability you crave." The blue woman turned to look at Raven, holding her gaze for a moment. "You aren't like me. It would have never worked. We gave it a good try and now it's time for you to fly free."

"Why are you doing this?" Raven's voice cracked with her pain.

"I should have done this a while ago, but you are rather intriguing." Mystique gave her a slight smile as she acknowledged they'd been good together in at least some ways.

"We don't have to do this."

"Tell me, when you think of the time when you can stop running, what does your life look like?" Mystique spoke as if the answer was clear, but Raven didn't know, couldn't imagine it any more. "I see you in a house with the garage converted to a studio. I see you working a 9 to 5." Raven didn't interrupt as Mystique went quiet. "I don't see you standing still and letting bullets hit you." Mystique's voice was suddenly tight, angry. "I don't see you," Another point was stopped and Mystique's voice calmed, "I just don't see you and I together. Get on with your life Raven."

Mystique moved to the door and opened it. Raven could barely think of a come back and Mystique said one last thing before she left. "The next time Irene sends you a letter telling you to run and play hero, don't." Mystique's voice was firm. "Just don't. I have it under control and I don't want to see you," Her words trailed off. "Just don't." The spy commanded, before turning away.

Raven's hands were shaking violently as she fought the urge to cry, and the urge to beg. Dinner started to boil on the stove and Raven had to get up and turn the heat off, but she wasn't eating it.


	27. Hellfire 2 Part 8

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven could only handle a week of the empty apartment. She missed Terrance, and she could still see Mystique all over the place. It was time to go. The letter she got with a new identity and a job in Austria sat on the kitchen table as she packed. Irene was just going to have to understand.

Part of her was pissed at the precog, because she had to know Mystique was going to get into trouble and she could have warned Mystique instead of letting her get captured and sending Raven after her. Why did Irene do that? Mystique wouldn't have left. Raven tossed one of her shirts into her bag a little hard. She still couldn't understand it. She also couldn't understand how it could hurt so much when she was lucky to see Mystique once every few months. It wasn't like with Tessa, and how she used to spend every spare moment with her, but Raven still felt abandoned.

Tossing one bag over her shoulder and grabbing the other two, Raven grabbed the other papers on her table, the identity she'd created. Raven Christine was her new name. Christy had said she'd always be with her, and Raven needed to feel a little of that right now. Granted her last name was actually her first, but she'd been Raven since she was twenty one and it didn't feel like her name anymore. It wasn't that she'd hated it, it was okay as names went, and it wasn't that it was a reminder of her mother like her team had thought. She'd had to lie to them about her reasons. No, she'd switched to Raven because that's what Tessa called her. Tessa had taken a power that Raven had been embarrassed about and turned it into something worthy with just a name and a story.

The plane only took her to South Africa, no planes were allowed over the country she was going to. Raven stood on the docks and watched the people around her. The green boy in the distance, the woman with fire for hair, all of them were clearly mutants and in spite of her right to the title, Raven felt a little out of place. The ship came to rest at the dock, and who would have expected South Africa to let it dock there. Raven followed the line onto the ship, grateful that her papers were accepted. It had been hard to forge them.

"The Promised island, Mutant Utopia." A man spoke softly beside her as Raven watched the land getting closer, the city was amazing and so different looking than other cities she'd seen in her travels. "Over fifteen million mutants living openly, and growing." He continued while staring out at it with her. "Magneto welcomes all mutants, but humans need to get special permission to visit our homeland." The question was clear, and Raven had already noticed he worked for the government.

Raven didn't bother answering his question immediately, she lowered her shield and felt the death hitting her. The epidemic on the island was claiming lives, but Raven had heard it was contained and strangely she didn't have it in her to fear it. Her eyes started to glow lightly and she turned to the man beside her and let him see that she did belong on the ship. He nodded and went on his way, having done his job of screening the human looking mutants.

Raven's hand gripped the handles of her bags tightly as the power flowed over her. Death in any major city touched her, but mutant deaths always hit much harder. Still she needed her proof to be strong and so she let it batter her so that her eyes glowed as brightly as possible before they docked and Raven had to fill out endless paperwork and tests to prove herself. Her one mutant trait would save her a lot of time if she stoked it up.

Genosha loomed in front of her and Raven found herself frightened and excited in a new way. It would be easy for a mutant to get lost in a country full of mutants. So Magneto ruled it, knowing Mystique and Irene showed Raven that not all of Xavier's enemies were as bad as advertised and Raven would most likely never see him. She was working class on this trip after all, and she'd never been allowed on missions against that man. He'd never recognize her if they did cross paths.

Her papers were scrutinized again at the port, but Raven was sent on. She smiled in relief as she stepped out into the city, the longer they'd looked at the papers the more she'd worried that they realized they were fakes.

Now that she was here she had to figure out what to do first. She had no place to live, because Irene used to always take care of that. She had no preplanned job either. She really was on her own.

……………..

"If you want I think I have some old furniture in the garage. I haven't had a chance to go through everything." James told her while they stood in the center of the room. "A dresser for sure, and I have a mattress, but no frame." He sighed. "I hadn't really planned to rent it furnished, so I just got rid of a couch."

Raven looked at the large room. James had advertised this space at the grocery store and the price was cheap, it just came with extra chores around the place to make up for it. The two car garage was under her, and this was clearly an addition, a small apartment. The bathroom was fine and there was a wall with a small kitchenette. The closets were lowered because of the roof, and then the rest was just one large room. "I'll take whatever you got." She smiled at the middle aged man. "The less I have to buy the better."

"You wouldn't happen to have super strength would you?" He asked.

"Nope, I'll have to do it the hard way." She hid her irritation at once again falling short of expectations. She was hiding that she was injured as well, she couldn't even claim her normal strength at that moment.

"I'm not really afraid of working either, but my mutation makes it hard for me to go out in the sun, and the yard is just going wild because of that." James sighed. "I always lived in apartments, and I was so eager to have a house, but I forgot about that little detail. Once Steven left me, well, I just can't do it." James was what Raven considered an oversharer, he'd told Raven all the details of why he needed a live on gardener for a normal sized home. She'd heard all about how his ex had moved away without him, ending a three year relationship, leaving James with a house he couldn't take care of because the sunlight burned him. His pure white skin was very sensitive to the sun, and his black eyes were great for night vision, but in the daylight he needed special glasses just to see. He'd showed her the special windows his house had to have and explained how he had to cover up to leave for work, but that his office was an inside one without windows. He was a lonely fifty something year old gay man and Raven agreed to take the place seconds after actually seeing it.

"I know." She said gently, not wanting to hear how Steven left him again. "I need to save up money, so this works out well." She tried to relieve some of his guilt for having a young woman do this, he was a little sexist in that he felt he shouldn't ask a woman to do manual labor. "When can I move in?"

"Any time you want." He smiled and seemed to relax.

She smiled and dropped the bags she had in her hand. "How about now?"

………………

She really should have checked the job market before she came, Raven thought with a little self disgust as she left the tenth not hiring place she'd seen that day. She went into anything she had even remote experience in and it wasn't working. She'd even tried bars, which were a bit more temptation than she felt comfortable with, but they weren't hiring her. Was this how it was for regular people? Her memories of getting her first job weren't this depressing, but then she hadn't gotten herself a job since. Irene did it all, and the Professor didn't encourage her to work. He probably thought it was better if she was dependant on him, harder for her to leave, she thought less than charitably.

At least she didn't have Terrance here, she thought with some relief. He might have liked to see this place, but she would have felt terrible if she'd been reduced to peanut butter and jelly meals only with him there, and it was looking like that might be a possibility. Raven sat up straighter on the bench and scolded herself for thinking the worst so early in the hunt. She was just scared because she'd never really been on her own before, not really, because Irene had been with her in spirit, but she'd finally moved out of that. This was growing up, and she was so past time to be responsible for herself.

Irene had both given her and cost her a lover. Raven just needed some time away from her. A sad bitter smile crossed her lips at that thought, time away from a dead woman. Her life really was far from normal. She pulled her sketch pad out and sat back more comfortably to start to draw for a little while.

The obvious mutants casually walking around in the opened were inspiring on a few levels. She worked hard to keep her hand from shaking as she focused on one girl sitting on the grass in the tiny park reading and started to draw. The constant source of power was starting to feel comforting, a low hum of arousal stayed with her from it, but she was a little shakier with so many mutants, and therefore mutant deaths around her. She could block out humans, but mutants always leaked through her shields, and no country, city, was without death. She even remembered being lost once and finding the right way to walk by feeling the level of death. Bobby had been slightly impressed Raven could find the way to the city.

Her pencil sketched the unusual looking girl, who actually reminded her of a piece of art she'd seen before. The gothic girl wore black and was pale. It was an interesting look to find her, the posterchild for gothic life, sitting under a tree reading. It just set Raven's pencil moving faster.

When the girl looked up toward her Raven noticed the girl's eyes widen just a little. "Death." It was said softly, and Raven glanced around her, hoping the girl wasn't talking to her, but she was the only one there. "You'll crawl out of death, like a butterfly out of a cocoon." The words sparked some half memory, but Raven couldn't grasp it. She did however grasp the familiar talk of a precog in a vision. "So bright. So pretty." The girl still stared at her without seeming to see the Raven of today. "But so quiet. Stay so quiet or you'll kill her. Whisper quiet or the bright lady will kill the shiny one." The girl's voice became a whisper, but Raven could still hear it. "So hard not to scream, you fight so hard." The gothic girl blinked and shook her head a little, before staring at Raven and seeming to really see her. "You get all that?"

"Uh, yeah." Raven felt her own face paling at the hint to a future horror.

"Don't forget. I like the shiny lady, something about her is familiar." The girl sat up a bit straighter. "My mutant name is Negasonic Teenage Warhead." Her head tilted a little as she seemed to study Raven curiously.

"And what do people who don't have all day to say your name call you?" Raven asked, thinking a codename like that would never work in the field.

"Ellie." The girl smiled at her, amused. "Ellie Phimister."

"I'm Raven Christine." Raven gave a small polite smile.

"No, you're a Christine that is a Raven." Ellie spoke with a hint of amusement still in her voice, but Raven felt a wave of nervousness at the comment. It made the other vision more real if this girl was that good.

"Why aren't you in school?" Ellie looked to be about sixteen.

"It doesn't start until next week, we get January off." Ellie stood up and tucked her book into some pocket in her long robe, dress, whatever, Raven couldn't really categorize it. "I'm working more while I can." Ellie looked up at her. "Johnny, one of the personal trainers, is about to hurt his back slipping on a wet floor. Perhaps you might want to walk me to work." Ellie didn't bother saying more, she just turned around and started down the sidewalk. Raven stared after her a moment, before quickly putting her sketchpad and pencil in her bag and rushing after her. That sounded like Ellie was thinking of a job.

Raven was letting a strange kid she'd just met call the shots now, she thought with a heavy sigh. She felt a little bit like a beggar, and a little foolish, but personal trainer was on her list of things she could do.

Ellie glanced over at Raven, seeming to study her body but without it being sexual. "I'll give you a free pass to work out. I work the check in desk. Be helpful." Ellie instructed her and gave her a slight smile.

"Do people know you're so manipulative?" Raven smiled back, liking this girl more and more.

"That would defeat the purpose." Ellie's smile faded and she moved toward a gym. The gym looked to be three stories from what Raven could see in the windows. "Go buy something to work out in that shows off your muscles. Ask me for a trial membership, oh and don't let on you know me or Johnny will be upset I didn't say anything before I left for lunch."

"You knew?" This girl was a little ruthless.

"No, but he'll assume I did." Ellie's face scrunched up a little in irritation. Raven could understand that, it took her a while to understand how precognition worked herself. "I like you and you're supposed to be here." Ellie said it like it was fate. She then turned and went into the building, leaving Raven outside.

She left where one precog told her she was supposed to be only to have another tell her she was where she was supposed to be.

………………..

Raven studied her current client, taking in the extra set of arms and trying to anticipate the issues they'd need to deal with in the woman's workout. It didn't help that the woman was looking at Raven with a little amusement. "You always wear sunglasses inside?" The woman spoke with a voice deep enough to be a man's.

"I got tired of people avoiding my eyes, staring, or trying really hard to not let on anything is strange." Raven muttered as she started to write the woman's name, Karen Torkenson, on the woman's tracker, the paper that showed progress and where Raven could write her recommendations for the woman's workout.

"Land full of mutants and still old habits die hard." The woman spoke a little softer. "That will stop when they get used to it and if you can't be yourself here, where could you be?"

Raven sighed and looked up from what she was writing, which was a new set of boxes for the extra set of arms. She wasn't assuming all four arms were the same strength. "Yeah, but I get tired of telling people they just glow, they don't actually DO anything." They always glowed now, the effect of living in Genosha for a week was very visible on her.

"And I just have a few extra arms. It isn't like I'm super strong or anything." Karen smiled at her and while it was a rather masculine face, it wasn't unattractive. "Ditch the glasses if you don't need them. Makes you look ashamed."

"What are you a counselor or something?" Raven smiled just a little and moved to start loading some weight onto the machine to test the woman's limits.

"Actually I am. A Psychologist." Karen laid back down on the bench and scooted up so the lower arms were level with the bar. "But if you start talking about your childhood and all that Freudian stuff I'll have to charge you, instead of you charging me."

"Alright, I'll keep all my talk about cigars, bananas, and other phallic symbols to myself." Raven smiled. "Check this out and see if you can lift it wimpy."

"Wimpy?" Karen chuckled and reached up for the bar. Raven noticed her eyes trailing over the two set of arms again, wondering if having an extra set would be helpful, and with the talk of Freud she couldn't help but wonder how helpful they'd be in bed. Damn, if Mystique were still with her she might have asked her to try that. Finally she had a new fantasy, one that Mystique would most likely enjoy, and now she had no lover.

Karen was leaving at the same time a familiar face came in the door. Raven smiled at Ellie and glanced at the clock. "Hey, how was school?" It was the first day back for Ellie.

"Got a few new teachers." Ellie moved around the counter and put her book bag underneath it while logging into the computer to clock in. "Looks okay so far. My telepathy teacher is a bit sarcastic, but she has good ideas."

"You have telepathy?" Raven asked.

"A little." Ellie smiled. "Not that I can read you. I can see you with my precog, but telepathically you just aren't there."

"That's,"

"Part of your powers," Ellie interrupted, "I know."

"Okay, here's a tip. Pretend you actually need people to tell you things, it makes them feel better." Raven leaned over the counter and noticed Ellie's eyes travel to her less than formidable cleavage for just a moment, before looking Raven in the eye again. Raven did her best to not smirk at the teenager. She had never considered her breasts an eye catcher.

"So how was work?"

"Stop flirting with the jail bait and get upstairs." Another voice interrupted them and Raven turned to see the manager giving her a slightly irritated look. Perhaps letting it slip that she was gay to avoid the gym Casanova wasn't the best thing to do if every time Raven stopped to talk to a woman she'd be getting this response. "Denise, your three o'clock, skipped check in again and is waiting for you."

"Alrighty." Raven did her best to not glare at him, and didn't acknowledge his dig about her and Ellie. "See you later." She smiled at Ellie.

"Wait." Ellie reached out a hand to rest it on Raven's arm. The girl's hand was cool. Raven leaned back a little at the other hand reaching for her face, a bit shocked, but then the building became much brighter. "She was right. You shouldn't hide your eyes." Ellie spoke softly, a rare blush on her face as she stole Raven's sunglasses.

"Ah, okay." Raven stammered it out before heading for the stairs. Ellie took some getting used to, knowing things she shouldn't, and inexperienced in hiding it like Irene did. Raven even wondered if perhaps Ellie might end up being more powerful than Irene someday, or if it was just a difference in the way the two women's powers worked.

Raven felt a little flustered with the contact, but she had work to do. Maybe they had been flirting. It was a disturbing thought that caused Raven to frown just a little as she took the stairs two at a time. She really should watch that. Flirting with a sixteen year old was really rather Mrs. Robinson of her. She wasn't a cradle robber, regardless of the Professor's claims the last time Raven was interested in someone underage.

……………

Raven took a quick shower after work. The locker room wasn't very busy on a Saturday, and she'd been roped into the morning shift. While waking up that early sucked and Raven hoped she never had that shift again, she did now have an afternoon to herself.

She wasn't going to rush back home to work in the yard, it was coming along nicely and Raven decided she'd earned some time off. She just wasn't sure what to do with it.

As she was getting dressed she noticed one of her clients doing her hair. "Karen, what do people do for fun around here?" Karen turned to look at her.

"Well, there are plays and movies just like any other city." Karen teased her. "Oh, and restaurants."

"I can't really afford any of those things." Raven gave a fake tired sigh. "Poor peasant that I am. I just want to kill a few hours and I'm new here."

"On a budget," Karen nibbled on her bottom lip a moment. "Well my husband and I spent last weekend at the Saturday market. I liked it, but he was bored." Karen sat down and started to put her shoes on while also doing up the buttons on her shirt. Raven's eyebrow rose for a moment, impressed with the coordination of all those arms. "They had so many craft booths, it was fun. I bought a new wind chime for the porch."

Art in any form interested Raven. "That sounds cool."

"How about you dry that hair and I'll take you for a few hours." Karen smiled at Raven's surprise. "Hey, consider me the welcome wagon, without the baking and prying into your home for a hint of a scandal."

"Cool." Raven smiled and moved to work on her hair, but she just combed it out. It would dry fast even though it was longer than it used to be, ending in the middle of her back. She'd dyed it blue for this trip, figuring that she'd blend in better if she stuck out a little in this country. "Oh and I thought you were a psychologist, don't you make a living out of prying?"

"And you're a glorified cheer leader." Karen teased back.

"Push it out, Push it out… way out." Raven cheered quietly, making Karen chuckle.

The day was slightly overcast, but it wouldn't have mattered if it rained. The Saturday market was actually in an old warehouse and when they walked in Raven stared around at the booths, shocked at the number of them. There were several food booths on the outside, but this was where the action was.

They walked past a booth with beautiful woven blankets and Raven stared longingly at one for a moment. "Oh I wish I had money." She groaned in disappointment, not even letting herself reach out to feel it.

"Are you really having trouble?" Karen asked her and reached out to grab Raven's elbow to steer them out of the crowd a moment. Raven considered lying.

"Yeah." She sighed. "I'm the new employee, so I don't get the hours. When Johnny came back my hours were cut. Next week looks bad."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Karen looked a little troubled.

"It's no big deal. I'll find a second job eventually. I'm still looking." And if it weren't for Ellie she knew she wouldn't have found a first job. She was surprised she was even telling Karen this.

"Well, that's good." Karen smiled at her and they dove back into the masses to check out more booths. They were there for two hours before they stood near the exit, having seen it all.

"I wanted a cartoon, like we got at SeaWorld." A sad voice spoke, a young kid of about seven was talking to a parent. "We got one in DisneyWorld too, and this place is so nice. I don't even have to hide my ears."

Karen was saying something, but Raven shared a brief look with her and then with her eyes made it clear she was eavesdropping as the parent tried to explain how they just didn't do that here. "Aw damn." Raven sighed and turned to Karen. "Gimme ten minutes?" The kid just wanted a drawing that looked like he really looked without an image inducer on.

"What are you going to do?"

"Draw a cartoon." Raven started to pull her sketchpad out of her bag and walked up to the family. "Hey, you need an artist?" She smiled at the family and spoke quietly, fully aware of her new friend watching her. Raven opened up her sketchpad and did what she rarely did. She shared her partly done sketches. "I can do cartoons too, but I usually save those for the margins of math homework."

"What do you charge?" The father asked, seeming a little wary, but also a little hopeful. Charge. Drahke's lesson about her worth came back to her, and the huge amount she'd gotten for the painting for Heather, but this was a quick little ten minute job, tops.

"What did you pay in SeaWorld?" She asked him. It didn't sound like he'd lied about the amount and Raven offered to take that. It was more than she thought ten minutes were worth, but she didn't want to undervalue herself either.

Ten minutes later she left the smiling family with a page out of her sketchpad and walked up to Karen, who was reaching for her pad with three hands before Raven could put it away. "You are a really good person." Karen smiled at her and then opened the sketchbook. "These are beautiful." Karen muttered as she flipped through it. "Real art."

"Thank you." Raven blushed a little.

"Have you considered being a professional artist?" Karen asked, and Raven did her best to not grimace. Of course she'd thought about it, but you need to sit still for something like that. You need to stick with a life. "You could make money on this you know."

The topic was dropped but Raven started to think about it, and the next day she was back at the market, asking how much it was to have a booth. She'd offered to take the nasty early Saturday morning shift indefinitely if they'd promise her the rest of the weekend off at the gym and Raven was very nervous as she put her rent money down for a booth, praying she'd make it back.

That week she worked hard on samples of the cartoon style that took little time. She picked out sketches that were more realistic for the samples as well. She did some in conte crayon as well, it was a fast way to have color, since she wasn't going to try and paint in that place.

"Ellie." Raven's favorite for her sketchpad was of this girl and since she was the only local in the book that was clearly done and recognizable, Raven thought she should ask first. She leaned over the desk. "I'm gonna have a booth at the Saturday market, doing sketches and such."

"Yes you can use the drawing that I never gave you permission to do." Ellie smirked at her, with that damned amused expression on her face.

"Ah, thank you." Raven felt a blush come to her cheeks. She'd planned to lead up to that question.

Raven found herself making some decent money during the next weekend, and even with the government taking a chunk she came out enough ahead to feel good about her gamble. Still she was a little disappointed with how high income taxes were in Genosha, and the fact she couldn't get out of them like she'd gotten out of it in all her other lives. The booth owners had to pay out taxes daily. Apparently Magneto found the loophole that Raven had been using, which meant a few others did that too. Well, at least this was a government she'd actually want to support. She knew for a fact these people weren't using her money against her and other mutants.

……………….

"I'm becoming a tour guide. I should start charging for it." Karen said as she pushed the barbell up again. "I told new woman in my office building that I'd show her around this weekend." Raven helped Karen guide the barbell back into place and Karen gave a large sigh and shook two arms out. "Maybe you could come with us. You need to make more friends, and she's pretty." Karen wiggled her eyebrows at Raven.

"Thanks, but I thought I was dating you." Raven pretended to be innocent. "And now I find you're dating her too." Her bottom lip shook, as she tried to pretend to be about to sob.

"I'm sure Max would like that." Karen rolled her eyes as she mentioned her husband. "As long as you like an audience."

"My audience days are over." Raven pushed gently on Karen's shoulders to indicate the break was over. "And my right hand is the jealous type even if your husband isn't."

"Well, I've got two to keep her busy, she might not notice." Karen grinned as she grabbed the barbell again.

"You straight girls, its all tease tease tease and no action." Raven sighed heavily, but helped guide the barbell up for Karen.

"Seriously though," Karen pushed her arms out and held them there for a moment. "She's a sex therapist, and she dresses like she might do hands on work if you know what I mean." The bar was lowered to Karen's chest and Raven watched for any sign of tired muscles, not wanting her client to get stuck.

"So you're trying to set me up with a slut. How kind." Raven watched Karen's form as she went through with another set. "A professional slut, but a slut regardless."

"She's not a slut. She's," Karen paused in her talking and workout "liberated and unashamed." It sounded like a line even Karen wasn't buying.

"So she's an equal opportunity slut?" Raven moved to help Karen put the weights down and waited for Karen to shake her arms out again before they moved to another station.

"I don't know." Karen groaned a little as she sat up, still sore from the sit ups they'd started with. "I just assumed a woman in her field might be open minded about gender." Karen smirked.

"Leave the blind dates out of this and we could have a beautiful friendship." Raven's smile faded a little as she caught Karen's eyes and made it clear that wasn't joke. Her voice softened. "Really, thanks for caring, but I don't want any help."

"If you change your mind, let me know." Karen reached out and touched Raven's elbow gently, before turning to walk towards the next station. Raven had told Karen the very basics that she'd been dumped recently, and maybe it would have been better to keep that to herself. Who would have thought the Psychologist had dreams of being a match maker?

"She's probably too busy to date anyhow. She works nights seeing couples and has some sort of day job. I only see her in passing."

………………..

Raven sat in the break room after her shift microwaving a lunch before she left for her booth. Her back and shoulders were tense and she did what she could to stretch it out while reading the newspaper someone left there.

"Here." Ellie's voice surprised her, and then the hands on her shoulders surprised her even more. Ellie's hands started to kneed at the tight muscles. "You can't pretend you aren't hurt like you do and not expect to hurt yourself even more." Ellie scolded quietly. "You were shot weren't you? I saw the scar."

"Yeah." Raven tried to think of a good lie, but then realized who she was talking to. Lying to Ellie just got her called on it and embarrassed. "Rescue mission gone bad."

"Playing hero." Ellie's hands moved down Raven's arms just a little and Raven could hear the bell of the microwave go off, but she didn't move. "Bend your head forward." Ellie gently pushed the back of Raven's head to make her do it and Raven shivered from the intimacy. No one really touched her, even Mystique had been remote ever since Raven got shot. It felt nice. The hands moved to work the sides of Raven's neck and then started to trail down the sides of Raven's spine. Ellie was a natural. Raven rested her elbows on the table and submitted to the treatment silently, part of her churning with the idea she should stop it. She kept telling herself it was innocent, but her body wasn't listening. Ellie's fingers found a knot of muscle and worked at it, making Raven moan with relief. "Don't pretend to be so macho, and take it easy." Ellie scolded, but her voice was soft and quiet. "And you can't leave. Don't let anyone run you off." The words didn't make sense, which meant they probably really meant something and Raven would figure it out later.

One final squeeze and Ellie stepped away. Raven noticed the light blush on the girl's face, but knowing her own matched she just gave Ellie a shy smile and got up to get her lunch. "Thanks."

"No problem." Ellie opened up one of the employee lockers and shoved her bag into it. "I better get to work. Have a nice day," Ellie turned to stare at her, looking very serious. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm not working."

"But you better be around." Ellie spoke firmly, before turning to leave. Raven stared after her for a moment before starting to eat. She really needed to get moving so she could get to the Saturday Market, with that thought in mind she ate faster to try and make up time she'd let Ellie have.

……………….

Raven had soft music playing just loud enough to hear it over the noise of people checking out the booths as she stared at the teenager sitting in the hot seat, which was what she called the chair she had her subjects use. "Do you want anything special for the background?" The girl, Wicked, had paid the extra for a realistic sketch, and background. It took Raven some time to draw the fishnet stockings the girl wore, but now that it was done it was time to think backgrounds.

"Can I show you?" Wicked asked her and Raven just had to smile at that name again. Sure the girl dressed a little trashy, not slutty, just a little trashy, but she seemed sweet, not wicked. Raven nodded and then her eyes widened as ghosts suddenly appeared around the girl. "Can you draw them in?"

"Ah," Raven stared at the six ghosts swirling around the girl. "Um," She felt a little cold. "Can they stay still long enough?"

"Sure." Wicked smiled at her and after a second of talking to the dead the ghosts posed for Raven around Wicked. Raven took a deep breath and ignored the staring crowd she could practically feel behind her as she studied the ghosts.

"Can you." She pointed to one of the ghosts, "move just a little to the left?" The ghost smiled at her and shifted. "Good." It made the circle of dead people even around the girl. "Okay." Raven started to move her hand over the paper trying to do it like she would do clouds and hoping it would look right.

"Normally people freak out." Wicked spoke casually but Raven could see some curiosity behind the façade.

"I have a death power too." Raven glanced up at the girl and gave her a small smile. "Never saw ghosts before, but I've felt them."

"Oh, cool." Wicked shifted a little in the chair and went quiet. When Raven finished up the ghosts moved to look at the finished product as well and Raven tried to not react to the one male ghost that tried to pat her on the back in appreciation, only to have his hand go right through her. To Raven it felt like her body was trying to grab onto something that wasn't there, like her power had kicked in halfway and then stalled. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. She was glad her day was done after Wicked walked away and Raven packed up her sample books and supplies.

It was still daylight. She never worked so late she couldn't get home before dark, but it would be a late dinner that night. Raven walked down the city streets heading for the edge of the city and the street she lived on. The smell of restaurants made her consider stopping in one and eating on her way.

"Raven." A familiar voice called after her. She noticed Karen leaning out a restaurant door. "We're just waiting to be seated. Want to join us?" Raven could see Max just inside the door and smiled. She'd never met him, but she'd heard stories from Karen.

Her hand dug into her pocket as she felt the money she just made. She could afford this. "Not really dressed up Karen."

"If you're overly concerned about appearances maybe you should visit my office and lay on the couch a while." Karen called back while moving to hold the door opened with a smile.

"If these people take one look at me and point to the door you'll owe me." Raven spoke quietly and nodded to Max. She was in jeans and a t-shirt and Karen was dressed a bit nicer, so were most of the people waiting for a seat.

"It'll be nice to have a fourth." Karen spoke quietly. "I'm showing that sex therapist around and we decided to do dinner." There was a hint of teasing in the voice.

"I can't believe you managed to rope me into this." Raven shook her head and glanced around for the woman in question.

"In the bathroom. She'll be out soon."

"I'm Max." Karen's husband held out a hand.

"I know, Karen showed me a picture." Raven smiled and gave him a brief handshake. "I'm Raven."

He smiled, a hint of teasing in his eyes. "I know. Karen showed me a picture."

"Oh don't worry Raven. I only showed him the one I took of you in the shower." Karen teased. Raven blushed a little.

"Karen," A voice cut through all the teasing and Raven froze, her eyes wide. Her heart was hammering as she slowly turned around, and her face paled suddenly. Emma Frost glanced at her and then looked again. Raven could see the second the woman recognized her. Emma's eyes widened and her head tilted just a little.

"I forgot I have plans tonight." Raven spoke to Karen, but could barely pull her eyes off of Emma to do it. "I really need to go." She turned for the door, her eyes looking around nervously for anyone else she didn't want to see. She could almost hear Selene's voice, hear the Black Queen's words about how Raven would always be hers. She could hear Shaw's laughter as he forced himself down her throat.

"Christy." Emma spoke softly, clearly still stunned, but Raven pushed through the crowd toward the door. "Raven" Emma's voice rose behind her as Raven slammed into the door and shoved it opened.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Karen's voice was right behind her and Raven felt arms circle her before she could run. "Whoa, Raven… calm down."

"Let me go!" Raven yelled and struggled, managing to slam a foot down on her friend's foot. When Karen lost her grip Raven spun around, her eyes wild but pained. She didn't have time to explain. Emma probably wasn't alone, and Raven didn't know who Emma would have with her.

She slammed into a man on the sidewalk, knocking him down and stumbling herself, but then Raven started to run.

"Raven, you're over reacting." A boy called out to her, his speech sounding like Emma. Another few steps and a woman she almost slammed into when she stepped out of a store stared at her. "This isn't necessary, you know that don't you?" Again Raven could tell who really was saying these things. She started running faster as the light on the crosswalk started to blink. "I won't hurt you Raven." A mother with a small child called out after her. Raven couldn't risk it. Christy might have, but Raven couldn't. She started to sprint down a side street and hopefully away from people Emma could control. If the telepath decided to make someone capture Raven, Raven would have to fight an innocent and she was trying to move away fast so that didn't happen.

Her exercising paid off in that she wasn't huffing and about to collapse as she darted down alleys and across streets, trying to get home. She felt like she should just leave her bags and run, but they were all she had, and with the boats being the only way on or off this rock she'd have to do something about her looks or she'd be recognized. The green of the suburbs were in the distance, this city being freakish in its abrupt line between city and suburbs and Raven felt her heart pounding a bit hard. She didn't have much left in her after trying to dodge the telepaths many eyes.

A white blur darted across the street right in front of her and Raven's feet stopped and she skidded towards the limo that had just slammed on its breaks blocking her way. The door opened and a woman in all white stepped out mere feet from her. Emma stood regally in front of the car and Raven could easily see the White Queen's commanding presence, her power. "Raven," was all Emma Frost got out before Raven brought her right fist up and slammed it into the telepaths face. Emma rocked backward and Raven didn't even bother to wait and see her fall as Raven jumped over the limo's trunk and onto the other side. "RAVEN!" An angry yell that made Raven run faster called after her.

Raven could hear the limo tires squealing and she ran right for the hill, jumped over the ditch and started to climb through trees and bushes. She ignored the scratches and the branches that caught on her bag, yanking it and herself away whenever she got tangled. Emma Frost wasn't someone she wanted to battle, it wasn't a fight she could win. The Mistress was powerful, more powerful than Raven. Raven ducked branches and tripped over some roots as she made her way towards home the hard way.

Christy had wanted Emma, but Raven hadn't. It was the one thing they hadn't agreed on and Raven had been helpless to stop it. The taste of the blonde seemed to ghost over Raven's lips and Raven did her best to block out the memory.

She was dirty and exhausted as she crept onto her street. Her mind was on where she had the letters for her friends here and where her bags were. She looked around the house carefully before pulling her keys out and unlocking the door beside the garage that lead to her stairs. Sweat clung to her body and she panted as she climbed the stairs, every step painful for abused legs. As she stepped into the main room she pulled the bag off her shoulder and let it dangle a moment before dropping it.

"Now will you listen?" A cold voice made Raven's back go ridged in shock and she turned to the chair in the corner to see the telepath she'd been running from holding an ice pack to her cheek and glaring at her. Raven took a step back away from the fire in Emma's eyes, before clenching her fists and preparing to fight. "I was very surprised to see you here Raven." Emma pulled the ice pack away from the bruised cheek. "It is Raven, I can tell the difference." Emma motioned to where Raven had hit her. "Christy never would have done this."

"I'll do more than that if you don't let me go." Raven glanced out the window, thinking that Emma must have backup. She tried to see if she could see anyone out there, while also not taking her eyes off of the telepath for too long.

"Karen is absolutely beside her self with worry dear. I had to leave her at the restaurant so I could try and catch up with you. I also had to discourage her from coming to check on you herself." Emma's voice was clipped with anger. "I told you I wasn't going to hurt you."

"Like I should trust that?" Raven's voice was cold. "I'm not going back."

"I'm not with the Hellfire club anymore." Emma's voice softened just a little. "And I'd never make you go back." Raven watched warily as Emma put the ice pack down and gently touched her own bruise. "I suppose I can consider this fair, but I won't let you hit me again." Raven's hands were shaking, but she refused to talk. She was listening very carefully to the background noise, the soft wind rustled trees, the neighbor kids playing in the street, in case Emma was just supposed to distract her and someone else was out there, but Raven was starting to believe that it really was a colossal coincidence that lead to this. "You know, I was surprised when no one ever mentioned what happened to you after I joined Xavier's little crew. I ran a branch campus of his school, I've been playing a good little telepath Raven. I've sat down to dinner with your teammates and I was surprised to find out the Xmen didn't know about it," the way she said it held some remorse, "or where you were." Emma sighed heavily. "I didn't volunteer any information, but why didn't you?"

Silence filled the room and Raven opened her mouth for just a moment, before closing it. She didn't owe Emma an explanation, her mind screamed, but then she remembered Emma caring for Christy after Selene's tortures and she opened her mouth again, her voice barely a whisper, "The Professor told me to never tell." Her jaw clenched as she tried to not let tears form while she told someone that really knew what she'd suffered what her mentor's response had been. "The Xmen, Storm, she would have ripped you apart." Her voice gained a little volume with her threat.

"And you didn't want that?" Emma sat back in Raven's old crappy chair as if it were a throne. Emma tilted her head just a little. "Tessa and I waited for the second attack, the one I suspected would be very bloody indeed, but it never came." Raven didn't respond, she stayed silent, unsure what to say. She stared at the woman in white, taking in the pants and short top that exposed Emma's firm stomach, thinking it was strange to see Emma in pants. She was used to seeing the telepath in a lot less. Raven stared into light blue eyes staring back at her and could see Emma was doing the same thing, comparing what she was seeing to what she remembered. "You look good." Emma finally interrupted the silence and for some reason Raven found herself relaxing, her battle ready stance faded and she was just standing there. "With your hair I almost didn't recognize you."

"That's the point." Raven took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "To not be recognized. I'm hiding."

"In Magneto's country." Emma crossed her legs and sat back in the chair. "You really don't want to be found do you?"

"Who would look for me here?" Raven glanced around the room for a moment, feeling disoriented by the conversation. The sticky sweat and dirt made her skin itch and she could feel the cold of her damp clothes as she stood before a woman she could never really understand. Emma wasn't a monster like Selene, but she wasn't kind like Tessa, and while Christy had her strong opinions of the woman Raven never really knew what to think. "Hiding near his enemies made sense to me." She muttered as she tried to think of what to do now.

"Sebastian might not really like Magneto, but he hardly thinks about him anymore."

"The Professor, I was talking about the Professor." Raven swallowed hard and made a decision. She'd sit. It took a while to make up her mind and she moved a little hesitantly as she sat on the bed facing Emma. Raven's hand clenched into fists. Emma just nodded like she'd expected that and more silence hit the room. Raven spoke quietly, her head bowed submissively. "Please give me time to run before you tell anyone." Raven wondered if she should use the word Mistress, if it would help her cause.

"There's no need to run." Emma sighed. "I must admit that no one knows I'm here either and I'm not eager to let them know." Raven looked up to see Emma looking at her a little strangely, it almost looked like remorse, but it was gone quickly. "This country is easily large enough for both of us to get the privacy we desire."

Raven stared a moment, doubtful that she could trust Emma. She should probably pretend to and then leave in the morning as soon as the boats start to work.

"I didn't enjoy hurting you." Emma looked past Raven to stare out the window with a sigh. "It was regrettable that we didn't meet under better circumstance. I would have let you go you know, if it had been up to me. The best I could do was try to keep the others away as much as possible."

"You were the White Queen. You claimed to be so powerful." Raven's throat felt tight, and she followed Emma's lead in not really looking directly at her. "If you wanted to help you could have helped." Raven could feel Emma's eyes on her now.

"My choices were limited. There were three of us and Selene and Sebastian were so excited to have an Xman in the club. I couldn't outvote them and if I had tried I would have lost the right to any contact." Raven risked looking at her and Emma was looking right back. "Tessa captured you, which gave her rights and my rights were hard won while you were in the cold room, but I had to be very careful not to seem too sympathetic or it would have been Sebastian or Selene that kept you most of the time. I had to do some heavy negotiating to keep you out of their hands as much as I did."

"Why?" Raven wasn't sure she believed it, but the idea of either of the others having been in Emma's place wasn't a comforting one. There was a lot worse than Emma out there.

"I wish I could tell you stories about wanting to do the right thing, but I did it for power. Tessa was much more powerful than the others realized because she had the ear of many people. I wanted her to owe me and she wanted more control over how you were treated." Emma's eyes trailed over Raven. "You intrigued her." Emma spoke softly. "Now that I've shared how about you do the same."

"What?" Raven was still stunned that Emma would admit to be so selfish as to only help because of what it would get her. And Tessa had asked for Emma's help?

"Well, it occurs to me that while I had the chance to ask Christy, I never did get to speak with you." Emma leaned forward a little. "Why were you in the club to start with?" Raven sat back a bit in shock, the familiar question making her feel some of the same helplessness as before. She couldn't answer that and she just stared at Emma until Emma waved a hand to the side. "Nevermind. It looks like I won't be getting that answer from you either. You are lucky Christy didn't know or we would have gotten it from her."

"Christy knew." Raven had to defend Christy's strength. "She knew all along and she never told." Christy hadn't known the why, but the who was what the others were most interested in and Christy didn't betray Tessa.

"She did?" Emma seemed deep in thought for a moment, before shaking her head as if dismissing that line of thought. "Well, she was definitely a strong woman." Emma looked into Raven's eyes. "You both were." Emma stood up. "Do you remember much?"

"I remember it all." Raven spoke very quietly.

"I'd hoped the drugs would do more for you than they did for me." Emma sighed and moved toward the door. "I'll leave you so you can shower. You look like you must have falling in the dirt a few times." Raven just stared as Emma closed the door behind her, surprised at the comment and the hint of true concern it suggested.

Raven had her three bags packed right after her shower and she stood in the middle of the room staring at them. She didn't know what to do, part of her believed Emma wouldn't tell anyone, but could she risk it all on that? Irene hadn't sent a letter, but then Irene hadn't sent her there to begin with. Would Irene know where she was?

Ellie told her to stay. Thinking of Irene reminded Raven of the other precog's words. Raven bit her lower lip and stared at her bags. Without anything else to go on, she had to trust Ellie and Emma's words because of Ellie. Raven left the bags packed, but she put them back in her closet. She liked it in Genosha and she wasn't going to let Emma run her out of it.

It took her a very long time to fall asleep that night, and her nightmares startled her awake as soon as she had.

……………..


	28. Hellfire 2 Part 9

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven felt like her body was made of lead and she whimpered just a little when her alarm went off. No sleep. As she dragged herself into the bathroom she started to look for red tired eyes, but all she saw was the glowing white. Well, that would cover it up well enough Raven thought with a sigh. She dressed and got her supplies together for another day at the Market.

She found herself taking a detour on the way to work, walking five blocks out of the way to stare up at an office building. It wasn't really impressive. Raven felt a bit nervous as she crossed the street and moved to the door to look at the various occupants, taking in the name of Karen's practice and a few others including a listing for one Emma Frost. Her hand moved out to touch the numbers of the woman's office slowly. She'd only seen Karen's workplace in passing, but would she have noticed this sign here if she'd gone in? Raven felt a bit of dread as she considered that she could have been here and still not known. It didn't make her feel safe, knowing these little clues would have passed her by if she weren't looking for it. She'd never expected to run into Emma here.

It seemed so very wrong that Emma Frost was now a sex therapist, after having contributed to all of Raven's hang-ups. How many other people owed their nightmares to something that woman had done? Raven stared at her name with a pained expression on her face. She couldn't really say Emma had raped her, because Christy had wanted it so badly, had never made the White Queen force her. Memories of serving the woman replayed in Raven's mind and she could still remember Christy's feelings, her longing for more, more emotion, more compassion. Emma claimed she did all she could, that she didn't enjoy abusing her, but if that were true why did the woman continue the charade in her rooms when they were alone? Raven found herself asking question after question and feeling so frustrated that she had no answers.

A person walking up the steps drew her attention and Raven turned away from them so she wouldn't be seen, even though it shouldn't matter. She felt lost, jumpy, and she left quickly to finish her trek to the Market.

Her work helped to calm her some, and every hour that went by without people rushing in to grab her made her think that maybe it could be okay. Then there were moments when she was convinced she was insane, or that Christy's affection for even this version of her lover had infected and blinded Raven, but then she just reminded herself she was trusting Ellie, not Emma. Ellie said stay, and a precog would know best wouldn't she?

She'd already ignored Irene when she came here. Maybe she should have stayed in Austria even though it hurt, Raven thought with a small sigh as she sat back down and waited for another customer. Well, it was too late now, she was here.

"Raven." A familiar almost too deep to be female voice spoke gently and Raven turned to see Karen standing next to her booth. Karen's expression was concerned and Raven stared for a moment a little stunned to find her friend here looking at her that way. "I had to see how you were. You left the restaurant so upset." Raven blinked as it registered that Karen remembered that. Emma let Karen remember that. Somehow Raven hadn't even considered that Emma wouldn't have cleaned that memory to avoid uncomfortable questions.

"I'm fine." Raven spoke softly and glanced at someone flipping through her portfolio distractedly.

"You're off soon aren't you?" Karen moved a little closer and Raven noticed one of Karen's right hands moving just a little towards her, before stopping and aborting the obviously subconsciously intended gentle touch.

There was no evading this. Raven sighed heavily and glanced at her watch. She could leave. The chances of a last minute customer at this point were slim. Raven packed up quietly and started toward the doors, knowing that Karen was following her. Her mind seemed stuck as she tried to think of a cover, a reason for her behavior the night before.

"I'm sorry." Raven finally noticed the slight limp Karen had and knew she put it there. She sat on a bench overlooking the water just outside of the Market with a heavy sigh, feeling guilty, but Karen just shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

"What was that?" Karen moved into Raven's space sitting very close. "Emma said you two had some history, and that she'd hurt you badly." Raven swallowed hard and took a deep breath, still surprised at Emma's behavior. Even the Professor would have covered this up, she thought for a moment, but she felt a wave of disgust as soon as she realized where her thoughts had gone. He wasn't a good telepath, and clearly he wasn't as honest as Emma, surprisingly. He covered up his guilt, but Emma just admitted to it. Why? "Raven, what happened between the two of you?" Karen asked so quietly. Raven just stared into Karen's eyes blankly, completely lost as to what to say. She almost wished that Emma had invaded her friends mind and erased a few things.

"It's just between us." Raven's fists clenched a little and she stared out at the water rather than face Karen. Her voice was a little cold as she tried to shut Karen out of this.

"You were panicked and irrational. I've never seen you like that." Karen pressed on. "I'm worried about you. What happened, why did seeing her send you running?" Raven's jaw clenched as she moved to stare at her own feet.

"Karen, you aren't MY psychologist. I won't be laying my pain out for you to analyze."

"I was asking as your friend." Karen sounded a little hurt and Raven reluctantly looked up. Karen brushed Raven's hair out of her face. "Whenever you're ready, but if you want I can put exlax in her coffee for you." Raven smiled just a little as she imagined Emma Frost having to stop her sessions with some couple so she could run to the bathroom. "That's a pretty weak smile, but it's something." Karen smiled at her and Raven squeezed Karen's hand before standing up and picking up her bag of art supplies. Karen didn't press her for details again even though they went out to dinner, but Raven understood that Karen was just being patient like a good little Psychologist. Raven bit back her own questions about Emma because if she didn't bring it up the subject was closed; she just wished she could ask Karen what she knew about the blonde woman.

……………….

Raven sat in the break room of the gym, her head down on the table, her arms folded under it. The embarrassment from the night before still lingered as Raven remembered taking the detour for the third time that week to stare up at the building Emma worked in, only to have Emma stare back. Raven had looked up to the third story window to see the woman in white looking at her and Raven still remembered how her body froze as she was caught. They'd stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, until the blinds closed. Raven had more problems sleeping that night.

She could hear the clank of weights just outside the break room, and could hear a familiar voice talking to someone, knowing that Ellie would be dropping her book bag in her locker in just a moment and still Raven didn't move to sit up. A large part of her hoped that when Ellie saw her like this she'd move to comfort her. Ellie didn't ask questions and made Raven feel protected in a way, kind of like Irene. The girl was sixteen, but Raven couldn't deny Ellie's ability to mother her or that if felt good, so Raven stayed posed, hoping for a friendly touch.

"Raven?" Ellie's voice was soft and Raven smiled just a little into her arms as she heard footsteps coming closer.

"Hey Ellie." Raven spoke quietly and felt a small bit of triumph when she felt a hand touch her shoulder.

"Tough week?" Ellie's hand moved in a small caress over Raven's shoulders.

"You have no idea." Raven sighed heavily and arched back just a little into the caress.

"You're like my cat." Ellie sounded just a little amused, but the petting became a bit more firm. Ellie's voice became softer, "I'm glad you stayed. I really thought you might leave. My visions were all over the place. They tend to do that with you, too many possibilities."

"I've heard that before." Raven sighed, remembering Irene. "It's like every little thing I do makes a difference, isn't it?" She'd thought about Irene's visions a lot in the past few years.

"No, you aren't a goddess." Ellie sounded like she was smiling. "You're just complex and tied into big things."

"Are you sure I'm not a goddess?" Raven teased and turned her head so she could look up a little.

"Maybe one day you'll be one, but right now you're just plain old Raven." Ellie spoke and Raven pretended to wince.

"Ow, plain and old. Why not say ugly and ancient?" Raven smiled to show she was teasing when she noticed Ellie blush.

"You're not ugly, old maybe but not ugly." Ellie took a little too long working on that weak come back, but Raven didn't tease her about it. Old, well compared to Ellie she was. She was near twice Ellie's age, just a few years off. Raven's improved mood started to decline again at that thought. She was getting old on the run, life was running away from her. Ellie's voice became tender. "Not old really either." Raven sat up and the hands touching her stopped.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Her voice held sarcasm.

"I think you're very pretty." Ellie was looking right into her eyes. Raven just stared at her a moment, not sure what to do. "And you understand me, not many people do."

"You're," Raven bit her lip just a little, wondering if she was really allowed to say this, "pretty too Ellie." The girl smiled and stood a little taller with the compliment.

"Thank you." Ellie glanced at the clock and Raven knew their talk was just about over. They both had work to do. Maybe that was best, because Raven was starting to feel out of her depth, like she'd taken a turn she shouldn't have and didn't know how to back up. "I better get to the desk."

"Yeah, and I'm sure my three o'clock will be here soon." Raven sighed and stood up.

Her three o'clock was on time and it wasn't until almost four that Raven found herself standing by the front desk waiting for her next client there instead of wandering the gym. "I heard your birthday is this week." She spoke while leaning on the counter and watching Ellie finishing typing up something. "What you gonna be, about twelve?" Raven smirked at the slightly insulted look on Ellie's face.

"Seventeen."

"I was thinking maybe we could go out and celebrate." Raven smiled gently. "Nice restaurant, maybe a movie." Yes it sounded like a date, and she knew it, but she had no gift to give. "I could draw for you if you want."

"Well, Ellie," Another voice interrupted them and Raven's back tensed at the cool accent. "I see you weren't exaggerating when you said your gym was large."

"Ms. Frost." Ellie turned to the intruder. "Raven, this is Ms. Frost, my telepathy teacher."

Raven swallowed hard and turned to see the blonde standing in the lobby looking like she'd already had a workout. Emma was staring at her, which was covered quickly.

"Hello Raven." Emma gave Raven a small smile that Raven didn't return, before turning back to Ellie. "If you get me an application, I'd like to join." Emma moved up to stand at the counter next to Raven and when Ellie moved to the office to get the paperwork the telepath spoke quietly. "Seventeen is still underage Raven." Emma sounded teasing and flirtatious, but Raven just glared back, insulted at the words she'd heard before from another telepath.

"You have no right to accuse me," Raven's face darkened, but when Ellie stepped back out she just turned away so Ellie couldn't see the anger on her face as she stared out the door. The girl gave Emma the paperwork, paperwork that would mean Emma could show up here at any time. When Emma moved to a chair to fill it out Raven waited until Ellie was busy with another client before moving over to her. "I don't want you here." Raven growled under her breath.

"Why ever not? It would be so much easier for you to spy on me if I just came to you." Emma barely glanced up before continuing to work on the application. "You do realize that my building has security, this is the only way you'll get a good look at me and what I'm doing."

Raven sucked in air and glared out the main doors again. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Ellie was glancing at her. Raven turned her head so that Ellie couldn't see her mouth moving. "Leave me alone, for once leave me alone." Emma stopped writing for a moment, the pen tapping lightly on the side of the clipboard.

"I can't read your mind, but your actions don't match your words." Emma sighed but then started to write again. "I need a place to work out. The gym at my building is really inadequate." Emma started writing faster, making it clear she would finish this application. Raven glared down at her. "Don't glare." Emma snapped out a quiet command and Raven looked away quickly.

"Is everything alright here?" Her manager's voice held suspicion as he startled Raven.

"Everything is just fine." Emma held out the clipboard for him to take rather than walk it to the desk herself. "Raven was just telling me about the personal trainers you have here. Are there any more openings with one?" Raven swallowed and tried to calm her irritation as she watched Emma protecting Raven's job. The blonde could have easily gotten her fired, because Raven would never admit to why she didn't want the telepath there.

"I think Raven might have an opening or two." Raven flinched a little at the comment he gave back. She could do nothing but watch as her life spun out of her control, her eyes went blank as she tried to block out any feelings she might have.

Emma looked at her for a moment too long. "Maybe I'll consider it later."

Raven barely glanced at Ellie as she made her way past the front desk, ignoring her client as she passed her and walked into the bathroom to throw up just as she got to the toilet. Emma was really back and there was nothing she could do about it.

…………………

Raven glanced at the clock, to make sure it wasn't time to get ready for her night out with Ellie just yet, before she laid back on the bench and adjusted her grip on the bar. She lifted the weight up into the air and started her reps. For her to claim to be a personal trainer, it didn't hurt to keep up her own muscles and her own membership to the gym was free. Raven tried to work out during the slow times, or in this case when a scheduled appointment didn't show.

Angry thoughts fueled her work out as she heard a familiar voice somewhere in the gym, a cool voice with an air of privilege for an accent. Raven resisted the urge to look for the woman and just shoved the weights up faster, a scowl on her face. She lost count of her reps and just pressed harder. Her arms were getting just a little shaky as she pushed herself a little too hard, and it was hard for her to line up the bar to put it back down.

Hands came into her sight, wrapping around the middle of her bar and helping Raven to put the damned thing away. "Thanks." Raven muttered as she started to sit up.

"No problem," And Raven froze for just a moment as she recognized the voice of her help. Raven continued to sit up, trying not to show how Emma's voice had caused Raven's body to tense up and turned to look at the blonde in shorts and a tank top. Neither of which were white. "You looked like you were having a bit of trouble there. I thought a personal trainer would know better than to work out without a spotter on this." Emma caressed the bar and just smiled a little at Raven, almost flirtatiously and more friendly than Raven had ever seen that face in real life.

Raven opened her mouth and almost told Emma what she could do with that large bar in graphic detail, but another personal trainer moved to the station next to them with his client. "So, would you care to spot me?" Emma asked, giving a slight glance toward their new neighbors. When those light blue eyes stared back into Raven's, it held a bit of a command, but something else as well. Raven's eyebrows drew together as she tried to make sense of that look. Emma didn't even wait for the answer, she just moved to lay on the bench Raven had just vacated and glanced at the weights. "I could go another fifteen to twenty."

Raven just clenched her jaw a little and moved to add the weight without speaking. Raven still got sore if she pushed too hard, she had the added burden of doing her own physical therapy. There was no reason to feel the need to compete with this pampered Queen, Raven told herself as she loudly clanked the extra weight onto the bar and tried to ignore the way Emma watched her. It wouldn't do for anyone to report Raven for less than helpfulness on the floor while working.

Raven didn't speak as she watched Emma lift the bar repeatedly, watching for when the blonde's arms were too tired. Emma focused on her workout as well and Raven found her eyes trailing over the woman. Emma was in very good shape, even better than she used to be. The blonde had some sweat soaked strands of hair sticking to her face and a determined look on her face as she continued to push the bar up and down. Raven wished she was the telepath as she stared down at Emma, wanting to know what Emma was up to. Not knowing was making Raven twitchy and nervous while she waited for some elaborate plan to hatch. Other times she reminded herself that Emma couldn't possibly be thinking and plotting about her all the time.

As soon as she helped Emma put the bar back down she barely nodded and left the floor to get away before Emma found a way to make Raven spot her on something else. "Thank you." Emma called to Raven's back, and Raven barely glanced back. Her head shook from side to side slightly as she thought about the White Queen thanking anyone, it was an act.

Raven grabbed a towel as she moved toward the showers in the locker room, nodding to a few familiar faces changing as she did so. The hot water helped with the ache in her shoulder and with more than enough time to get ready to go out with Ellie Raven stayed under the beating water longer than normal. It wouldn't do for Ellie to suspect Raven had once again pushed herself too hard, Raven didn't want another soft spoken lecture about it.

Once she was done she wrapped her towel around her and moved toward her locker. Raven dressed and as she was pulling her shirt on she felt eyes on her. When she turned she found Emma sitting on a bench across the room unlacing her shoes and watching Raven. "You have a new scar." Emma spoke as if the other two women still in the room weren't there and Raven glanced at them for a moment, suspecting they wouldn't hear a word that was said. "You were unblemished the last time I saw you." Emma's eyes were on Raven's shoulder, so Raven just pulled the shirt closed and buttoned it up. She had a few new scars now.

"Well, that was a while ago." Raven finally spoke quietly, while turning towards the mirror on the wall and pulling her brush through her hair. "Life hasn't been," Her words trailed off as she realized she didn't need to talk to Emma. The telepath gave them privacy, so Raven didn't have to pretend for other people.

"What hasn't life been Raven?" Emma asked while just sitting on the bench, her shoes beside her now.

Raven's jaw clenched, her hand on her hairbrush tightened around the handle hard enough to render her fingers white. It sounded like a psychologist question, the kind Karen couldn't resist asking once in a while. "Don't try to analyze me." She glared.

Emma sighed and her shoulders seemed to relax just a little. "I'm not. I will admit I'm curious, but I'm not trying to figure out what's with you or why you're so guarded with me. I already know." Emma's eyes stared into Raven. "Aren't you curious? I thought the way you were stalking me made it clear you were." Emma pulled her shirt up off of her body, revealing a sports bra. "Don't you wonder how I came to be here, or what happened at the club after you escaped? Perhaps you'd like to know how Tessa is doing?" Raven took a deep breath and turned away.

"Just don't talk to me." She called behind her coldly, but she couldn't say Emma was wrong. Just hearing an offer to know about Tessa was so tempting, but to admit she cared might compromise Tessa.

"What ever happened to Christy?" Emma asked quietly and the two other women in the room got up and left for their workout, leaving Emma and Raven truly alone. Raven looked into the mirror and could see Emma's expression, and something there, the way the eyes were softer, made the question an honest one. Raven's back slumped a little as Emma asked one question Raven felt she couldn't just brush aside. Christy would have wanted her to answer this one.

Raven wrapped a hair band around her hair to create a pony tail and stared at her own reflection instead of Emma's. "She left a couple months after we were rescued. We found a way to separate without you, thank god." Raven put her brush down and started to straighten her collar, but she subtly watched Emma for a reaction. She didn't see one, so she kept talking. "I don't know how she'll be able to step back into her life, to sleep next to a woman that looks like, well, you, after everything that happened." And Raven saw a very small flinch at her apparently well aimed barb. She couldn't say she hadn't imagined it, but Raven's hard glaring eyes calmed just a little.

"Well, if anyone could it would be Christy wouldn't it?" Emma wasn't really asking a question. The blonde stood up and moved to finish removing her work out clothes.

"I don't like you," Raven took a deep breath and turned to face Emma, noting that having Emma in her underwear while Raven was fully dressed helped her feel more confident, "but Christy," Raven shook her head and sighed. "Christy did, on some level she did. Aside from everything else, you ripped her heart out and made her doubt her own lover. That Emma, her Emma, didn't deserve that any more than Christy or I did. Her Emma loved her, and I wonder if Christy flinched away from her when she got home." Drahke had been so patient, but she'd also been so different from anyone that had touched Raven in the Hellfire club, what would it be like for Christy?

Emma stood quietly for a moment. "Well, we will never know will we?" The blonde spoke quietly and started to remove the last of her clothes unselfconsciously. "Thank you for telling me, but I need a shower." Emma dismissed Raven's attention and Raven just turned to finish her makeup for her night out, but her eyes stayed on Emma as long as Emma took to cross into the showers.

………………………..

It was dark out when the movie ended. Raven held the door opened for Ellie without even thinking about it as they left the theater late on a Friday night. Her thoughts were more on the movie, and Christy, and Emma and so many things that were getting tied together in her mind.

"Hannibal, that was," Ellie made a face of disgust, "more gross than I thought it would be. I mean cannibals, ew. And feeding that to the kid, gross." Ellie shuddered and Raven gave the girl a fake smile, thinking of her own reluctant cannibal. Of course Christy would never have done something like that dinner scene, she wasn't cruel, she was just desperate. Raven had seen memories of Christy's first home world.

"There are some sick people out there. Who would eat that if there was anything else around, really."

"Until he did that I was kinda hoping," Ellie turned down the street along the water and Raven glanced at the way the light reflected off of it. "They were so worried about each other. Beloved enemies protecting each other in their own way. It was a little romantic, but then he went and pulled that."

"Beloved Enemies?" Raven looked over at the girl beside her.

"He loved her, and I think she kinda loved him too." Ellie moved to sit on a bench overlooking the water, and Raven glanced around before sitting, checking to see if she thought it was a safe place to stop. "She HAD to try and stop him, but she didn't want to really catch him, she just wanted him to stop. She respected him and hated what she had to do."

"That would be hard." Raven sat back and watched the water. She had been here in the daylight before, just sitting and watching the water, but at night it had a more enchanting feel to it. "What I loved was when he was holding her up, away from the animals so they couldn't hurt her."

"Me too." Ellie smiled at her. "He was a monster, but he could still care."

"I could never imagine her actually doing it, but I almost wished she went with him." Raven admitted as they both stared out at the water. "I heard in the book she did, but they changed it for the movie."

"She never would have. She's a hero." Ellie objected.

"It's easy for heroes to loose their shine and just become people Ellie." Raven sighed, thinking of all those times she didn't object to Mystique's missions. "Loving a bad guy changes you. Makes it all gray instead of black and white." They talked a little longer before Raven decided they had to get Ellie home before Ellie's mother started to worry.

Once Ellie was home Raven walked back to the water and just leaned against the guard rail staring out at it. The water always helped her relax. "Irene," Raven spoke quietly, even though she hadn't seen anyone else around. "can you even see me now?" Raven's head bowed as she watched the water's hit the rocks below. "I miss you." She lowered her shields just a little, lowering them very much in this country bombarded her so she never took them down far. It did help with her depression, which hit her far too often since Mystique left and Terrance was left behind. She had to work early the next morning, so Raven only stayed a few minutes before wandering off towards her own home.

…………..

"So did you and Ellie have fun?" Karen asked as she finished her reps. Raven smiled just a little at the prying tone that was emphasized to tease.

"Please, it's bad enough boss man acts like I'm dating her. I don't need it from you."

"You do remember what seventeen was like don't you Raven?" Karen sat up and used the edge of her towel to dry the sweat from her face. "Crushes and hormones. Wanting to be an adult, but not really ready for it." The psychologist moved the towel out of her way and stared right at Raven. "Crushes on teachers, or other," Karen paused meaningfully, "people."

"It isn't that way with Ellie." Raven's amusement faded fast and she just moved to wipe off the handle on the barbell.

"Don't be so sure. I know she's rather mature, but really, what seventeen year old jumps at a chance to spend a Friday night with someone," Karen's head tilted a little, "How old are you anyway?"

"Thirty." Raven started to move to the next station, making Karen follow her. Her voice lacked any and all enthusiasm for the discussion.

"I had such a crush on my high school English teacher at seventeen, Mr. Johnson." Karen smiled just a little as she sat back down at the new station. "The fantasies I had, well, they were really something." Her smile faded. "But then I finished mutating and saw his eyes when I stepped into class. I got over it fast."

Raven saw her chance to change the direction of the conversation and took it. "I fell for my art teacher. I stayed after school so much that year, working on projects while she did her paperwork." She remembered how her art teacher got married at the end of the year and moved away. She'd been disappointed, as if she'd had a chance. "Maybe that's where I got my love of art."

Karen laughed. "It could be." Karen focused on her workout for a quiet minute or two. "I wonder if Ellie will become a gym rat because of you."

"She's not young like we were." Raven thought of two different seventeen year olds at that time, and how Tessa was very mature for her age as well. "She had to grow up faster. Being a precog is hard."

"What a seventeen year old wants or needs out of a relationship and a thirty year old will always be different Raven, even if the seventeen year old is mature."

"What about a seventeen year old and a twenty one year old?" Raven asked after a while, when she decided to stop protesting, because it really didn't matter.

"A seventeen year old like Ellie, well that could work." Karen stopped her reps in the middle of her set. "Why is she talking about someone?"

"No." Raven sighed and looked down at Karen, the first person to tell her it might have been okay with Tessa.

Karen's eyes started to show some understanding. "Ellie can't replace a lost lover for you."

"I wasn't suggesting that." Raven's grip on the barbell tightened. "I never even considered that."

"If you weren't my friend I'd be working really hard to get you on my office couch." Karen shook her head. "It was a rather natural leap in your mind from our conversation to that question wasn't it?"

Raven felt her face flush. "It's never far from my mind, it doesn't mean anything."

"What happened?" Karen asked and Raven glanced around to see if anyone was listening. Her eyes stopped and widened a little when she noticed the blonde telepath working out across the room. "Was it her?" Karen spoke more quietly. "Is that why you have so much…"

"No, it wasn't her." Raven stared at Karen, knowing that woman had no telepathic defenses. "Let's just drop it." She hadn't talked to anyone about Tessa since Christy, and Raven couldn't believe she'd almost done it here in a gym with the White Queen feet away. That would have really been dangerous.

Karen went quiet a moment. "I have friends, good friends who are good psychologists, who you might consider talking with. It's not ethical for me to do it, but maybe you need someone, don't you?"

"No, I'm fine." Raven moved to encourage Karen to get back to work. She attempted to smile. "You just fantasize about me and couches. Maybe you need to accept your inherent bisexuality and realize it's all sexual."

Karen didn't speak for a moment, but then she smiled. "If I were to fantasize about you, it would be you laying on a bench here or in the hot tub, or maybe the sauna. I could fantasize about you in the locker room showers or,"

"Oh God." Raven blushed as Karen teased her. The serious conversation wasn't forgotten, but it was given up for now.

"A couch really doesn't do my gym rat justice." Karen winked at her and started her reps again.

"Anything you've been meaning to tell me Karen?"

"That I'm a raging heterosexual?" Karen smirked.

"Not sounding like that right now."

"Trust me, you are pretty to look at, but I've never had the urge to touch."

………………….

It almost looked like Emma wouldn't show up, for the first time this week, but Raven noticed the blonde's hair across the room as Raven was setting up the weights for Karen. With a quiet sigh Raven focused on her work. Emma was doing it on purpose. No one worked out every day, at varying times, and always during Raven's shift. Emma somehow knew when Raven worked, and being a telepath she probably used someone's eyes to see the shift schedule in the break room.

How did a woman who had two jobs apparently, have enough free time to work out in the morning, afternoon, or evening depending on Raven's shift? Raven turned back to Karen, noticing that the four armed woman had been asking her a question. "What?" Raven asked, having missed everything Karen said.

"You didn't hear a word I said did you?" Karen let out an irritated breath and glanced across the room where Raven had been looking. "Emma?"

"Yeah, that's Emma." Raven leaned against the wall and tried to not let the searching look Karen gave her to that bother her. It wasn't working completely and Raven glanced back toward Emma, then over to other people working out, rather than look at Karen while the psychologist was clearly analyzing her.

"Are you ever going to talk about what she did?" Karen spoke quietly and Raven had to turn to glance at her friend.

"Don't." Raven shook her head just a little from side to side.

"How are you dealing with seeing her all the time like this? You know she's doing this to you on purpose, don't you?"

Raven went quiet as she honestly thought about the question. Emma always drew Raven's attention and made it hard for Raven to focus on work. In spite of her inability to not see Emma, Raven didn't feel as afraid. It was almost like every day that Emma came and then left proved the blonde wasn't trying to get Raven captured again. Raven felt anger, irritation, and so much curiosity it kept her up at night. Emma had become a puzzle, a maddening one that consumed Raven's thoughts far too often.

Emma knew it too. It had to be behind some of the smirks Raven got whenever Emma caught her looking. Raven was hardly stupid and she knew Emma was manipulative and was weaving a web, but it was hard not to be caught in it.

"I'm fine." Raven didn't bother to elaborate and Karen's disbelieving look showed she wasn't really selling that lie well. Raven wasn't terrified anymore, but she wasn't really fine with Emma hanging around and consuming her thoughts.

"And I'm really convinced." Karen spoke flatly. Her voice became more animated. "Can't you get her banned from the gym?"

"What would I tell them?"

"That she's stalking you? That's still against the law." Karen glared over at Emma, and the telepath looked over at them. Raven let Emma see her looking and Emma just nodded subtly to her before turning to say something to the gym Casanova, all the while not acknowledging Karen's cold gaze. Whatever Emma said to the gym gigolo was strong enough for him to get the hint to leave, before Emma started her chin ups.

"And I'd have to drag our history out. I'd have to…" tell people she wasn't Raven Christine. No, it wasn't worth it. Her current identity wasn't strong enough, she was sure if police looked into it they'd find holes.

The idea of trying to get Emma kicked out didn't appeal to Raven at all. She wanted the blonde right there where she could see her, not angry and sneaking up behind Raven to stab her in the back, or calling the Professor to turn her in. Raven stared at the telepath's smooth motion as Emma did chin up after chin up, her muscles not complaining about the strain. Of course a body like that would have no trouble with that. Her eyes traveled over Emma. "No, it isn't worth it."

"I'm worried about you." Karen's concerned pleading words drew Raven's attention to her friend. Raven's expression softened as she saw Karen clearly was.

"Thank you." Raven spoke quietly, softly. Karen was the kind of friend Raven needed, probably had needed ever since Irene had died; someone to call her on things and force her to think, but also someone that clearly cared even when Raven didn't want to hear what she said. "But you don't need to."

After Karen's workout Raven walked with the woman toward the lockers. Her shift ended with Karen and Raven had to get ready to go man her booth. After just a few weeks doing the drawings she was becoming someone that customers sought out. Raven had heard of a few referrals that came her way and hoped that it continued, because her income was on a steady rise and with all the money she'd left behind for Terrance she needed a new nest egg.

"Raven, can I talk to you." Emma's voice was soft, but then she didn't need to yell since Raven had to walk right past her. Karen looked at Raven for some clue as to whether she should stay or go and Raven just nodded to her. Raven watched as Karen gave Emma a warning glare and then waited until Karen had walked far enough away to not hear her.

"What?" Raven's voice held more than a hint of her irritation as she turned to glare at the telepath. Emma just leaned against the edge of the treadmill and crossed her arms in front of her while looking at Raven, studying her. "What do you want?" Raven glared at Emma.

"Is it really so hard to talk with me that you have to bristle and growl every time I try?" Emma showed little expression and Raven just stared at the woman coldly. What did Emma expect, polite chit chat after everything the woman did to Raven? Emma took a deep breath and glanced around them, "You can speak, I am keeping the riff raff from listening in."

"You are nothing but a power hungry selfish bitch. Is that open and honest enough for you?" Raven's voice held a hint of a growl. "You think you can just appear years later and I'll sit down to tea and a chat? What am I supposed to tell the sex therapist about my nightmares and hope for some gentle advice to fix it all? You," Raven scoffed, "a sex therapist and teacher. It just shows how wrong this world is that a woman like you would become either of those things. What do you teach, how to destroy people to cure your own boredom? Do you talk about how to whip someone, or how to force them to…" Raven's angry words trailed off as her scowl grew. Her words became colder, "Sebastian and Selene may have been the worst monsters, but you," Raven's fists clenched, "you chose to cater to their," Raven shook her head, unable to finish her thoughts, lost in what to say. "The White Queen," Raven shook her head, "you were no queen, you were a drugged out pathetic child determined to break her toys." Raven pointed at her own chest. "I'm not a fucking toy."

"Are you quite done?" Emma spoke quietly and far too calmly. It frustrated Raven to no end and made her feel unheard.

"No I'm not." Raven took one menacing half step closer to Emma. "I've barely even started."

"No doubt, but if you really want to do it right we probably should book an entire evening." Emma waved on hand lightly, dismissing the idea. "But what I wanted to talk to you about was something a little less emotional. Ellie suggested you for the schools Independence Day celebration. A large fair in celebration of Magneto turning this into a mutant utopia or some such garbage." Emma sighed. "I hear you are an artist and we need to have some booths at this colossal waste of time and I've been put in charge of it. New teacher and all, I didn't start the school year early enough to pick something less bothersome to organize." Emma complained, completely ignoring Raven's disbelieving expression.

"Emotional?" Raven's voice rose. "Emotional?" Emma called her emotional? What else would she be, she had the right to be a little emotional, Raven thought angrily.

"Again, if you want to discuss more," Emma's held tilted to the side a little. "Personal and painful things perhaps we should do it elsewhere, or you could even call my secretary and make an appointment. As you say, I am a sex therapist."

"Oh my god." Raven just shook her head at Emma's gall.

"At least you are trusting me with your feelings now," Emma glanced around the gym coolly, "and to keep our conversations from the public as well. It's amazing the progress you are making Raven."

Raven looked around them with wide eyes, suddenly realizing that she had trusted Emma to keep this talk quiet. Her mind supplied a new nightmare of everyone staring at both of them, but when she looked no one seemed to be paying them attention. Other people were just continuing their workout.

"The celebration is in three weeks, and we are hoping that part of the profits will go to the school beyond the fee for booths, but I'm sure you could make a decent amount of money as well. It shouldn't cost much more than that booth you have at the Market, and quite frankly teenagers are just narcissistic enough to want to get several sketches done, and have few enough bills to have money to burn."

"You are completely ignoring me." Raven was trying to talk about something real, something painful, and Emma brushed it aside like it was nothing.

"No, I'm more than willing to talk to you about it Raven. I wouldn't be here if I weren't, but this isn't really the setting. I should be able to pay more attention to that talk than I can do while controlling some twenty odd people so they don't notice us. I was thinking someplace more private." Raven had been about to open her mouth and spit out more about Emma's seeming lack of remorse, but Emma's words stopped her. Raven found herself just staring at the telepath. "So what I'm asking about is your art. I had heard from Ororo and a few other Xmen that you were an artist, so when Ellie reminded me of it I thought why not ask. The school needs more funding for special programs and technology and we can wait for Magneto to give it to us, which I wouldn't hold my breath on, or find a way to make it ourselves. What you do would be a money maker and would be a draw to get people to come if we advertised it." Raven took a deep breath but didn't say anything. Emma's voice got softer, more intimate. "Ellie is interested in Drama, and if we could get enough money there might be a production next year she could be involved in." Emma smirked a little as Raven started to think about that. "There are only four booths left and we'll be at capacity."

"I can't make promises about the future. I never know if I'll still be around." Raven glanced over at the main desk and noticed Ellie glance their way. At least Raven didn't think their voices would carry that far. Was Emma's protection still up or did Ellie's power compensate for the telepaths cover up? Still, if Ellie suggested this, was it because of a vision or just something she thought about?

"It's three weeks, hardly a long term plan."

"For me that is." Raven turned to stare into Emma's eyes, more than a hint of blame in her own eyes as she spoke. "I live a very temporary life. I can't stay anywhere long. I'm a runaway slave after all." Raven turned her back to Emma and walked away, her head down as she thought about that. She wanted to be able to say she'd be there, that she could give Ellie that, but she couldn't. Emma didn't call after her to stop her and when Raven glanced over at the telepath before Raven stepped into the locker room she saw Emma hadn't moved and was staring at the ground.

………………….

The next day Raven didn't have to work at the gym, as she had Sundays to work at the Market all day. She set up mid morning and had a relatively steady flow of work. In the moments she didn't have a model Raven started to work on a new item she was starting to sell, sketches of dragons and other more mythical creatures. While Raven preferred human and mutant models, she thought that something with a fantasy theme would sell as well.

Maybe even if she left she could leave these sketches with the school for the fair. The Drama department could just take all the profits.

Every so often Raven glanced around even when she had a model, to check for interested people. She'd normally smile at them to encourage them and occasionally shifted her seat so that people could see her drawing. With her serious art she hated people watching her make them, but the quick sketches weren't as personal to her.

The frequent comments of appreciation made her smile as she worked on drawing a young man. She carefully put her signature in the bottom corner and turned it so that he could see. He was actually a very good looking boy. He paid and left, looking at the drawing as he walked away, and Raven liked that he was smiling. His friend's muttering about wishing he hadn't spent all his money already was nice. She might get more work out of that one later.

A voice from behind her startled Raven and she tensed up as Emma spoke. "You are very good at that." Emma stood behind her still glancing at the easel. "I learned about art of course, mother figured that an upper class young lady should be able to appreciate art. Trips to Europe and endless museums, art shows, they were more about being seen than actually appreciating the art, but mother insisted." Emma moved around to the front of the table Raven kept her portfolio and price list on and Raven just started for a moment.

"Is your day incomplete if you don't hunt me down?" Her voice was cold. She'd really thought that with her having the day off the gym she wouldn't be seeing this woman today.

"Is this Ororo?" Emma ignored Raven's comment and was slowly flipping through the portfolio. Raven looked over the edge of the binder to see Ororo's back. She'd done that from memory, a tasteful nude that really showed nothing. She had taken her friend up on the offer to pose naked. It was actually a little surprising that Emma would recognize Ororo in that pose.

"She used to pose for me." Raven reluctantly answered the question.

Emma smirked while looking at the drawing, before turning the pages again. "Nude as well. I hear a lot of artists sleep with their subjects. Did you?"

"I never did." Raven's voice was a little colder and her mind was working frantically trying to remember if there were other drawings in her portfolio that would cause trouble. With relief she remembered pulling all the Tessa inspired art out of there and putting it in her personal portfolio.

Emma set the portfolio down and picked up the less serious one, her cartooning work. "Is there a reason you decided to stalk me at this job too?" Raven asked.

"I wanted to see your art. I'd seen one of Ellie the girl had in her possession, and a very pretty painting of Ororo in her attic. Having a nearly nude done in paints." Emma smirked. "Rather narcissistic."

"It was a gift." Raven moved to straighten the book Emma had moved out of place, opening it up again for the customers to see. "And she is a work of art herself, she hardly needs to be modest." She wanted to ask how Emma had ever gotten to see that painting, because Ororo hated the woman, but asking a question would just stretch out the conversation and Raven wanted Emma to just get to the point and go away.

"I think I'd like a portrait." Emma closed the cartoon portfolio, clearly not as interested in it. The blonde smiled at her and Raven's eyes narrowed for a moment before she remembered something. She was her own boss. Her own answering smile was a little cruel.

"No. Your money can't buy everything Emma, and I won't draw for you." Raven moved to her bag and pulled out her personal portfolio. "But if you're desperate for one of my pieces," Raven found what she was looking for. Her way to deal with her irritation at Emma had lately gone into a rather graphic art piece, posing Emma in a pose Raven had been forced to take in that club.

The drawing was of Emma tied to a cross, bloody strips out of her back from being whipped. The woman's eyes were pained and hopeless, how Raven had felt at the time as she had to trust Christy to take care of it all and unable to help herself. "Here. Enjoy." Raven tossed the page across the table.

Emma's hand reached down to pick up the page and turn it over to see it. Raven stared at Emma's face and was not satisfied by the reaction. Emma just studied the picture, no horror or disgust on her face. "Like I said, you are a good artist. The composition of this piece is rather dark, but you use your lines and the shadows so well to show emotions." Emma actually started to critic her work. Raven's fist clenched as her slap in the face move was ignored. "The pain and hopelessness springs right off of the page." Emma's finger caressed the page lightly. "The black boot in the edge of the page, hinting to what, Selene or Tessa, being the one to torture me is interesting. Which one did you imagine in that position, or," Emma's eyes moved up to capture Raven's, "was that supposed to be you?" It felt like Emma was very far into analyzing Raven with the evidence of the drawing to pull her conclusions from and Raven suddenly didn't think her insult was a good idea.

"What are you doing here?" Raven ignored the question she'd been asked, because she wasn't comfortable with any of the possible answers.

"It's three weeks." Emma set the picture down on the table face down and set a gentle hand on it for a moment. "I'm willing to front the cost of the booth and if you end up leaving before then I'll be out the money. It's hardly anything to me, but you wouldn't lose anything." Emma's arms crossed. "I will advertise you, give you free publicity in all our flyers, if you agree to this. It's what only our highest paying companies will be getting and it will increase your income both here and at the fair."

"If you have so much money why don't you just cut a check for the Drama department?" Raven started to notice how the others in the Market were avoiding her table and it irritated her that Emma was probably doing that, which hurt Raven's income as she offered to make Raven owe her to increase it.

"The political situation at the high school is," Emma grimaced just a little, "not what I would prefer. If I did that I would actually get cold shoulders for 'flaunting my wealth'. I'm a very successful mutant and there are those that are jealous. It is just easier to be subtle. I will donate a great deal anonymously, but I won't fund the program outright." Emma glanced down at Raven's portfolios. "By picking booths that will actually make money, and putting in the fine print that the school will get part of the profit, we will get more than just by selling booths to banks and other businesses that like exposure but don't really sell anything, at least not in the same way you do." Emma stared at her and it seemed like such an ordinary conversation that Raven found herself responding to it by nodding as she followed Emma's business decisions and could see the sense in them. "I was thinking of also selling raffle tickets for some things. If the demand it high enough we'd make more that way than by selling them outright."

Raven went quiet as she thought about it. No risk, and if Emma wanted her that badly for this she wouldn't be making any calls to America to tell anyone who she'd met here. "Okay." Raven said it quietly. "If I do it will you leave me alone?"

"I still have my gym membership."

"Just stop checking on my work schedule when you come in." Raven's back slumped a little as she asked this. It was a trade and she felt she didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. She had to bargain or see Emma every single day.

"I'll give you that IF," Emma smirked at Raven and Raven could see more of the Mistress Emma in that expression than she'd seen in Emma since running into her again. The cool calculating woman laid down another condition to freedom from her. "you agree to raffle something. A sitting, a painting like you did for Ororo. For that I won't even ask you to pay me back for the booth fee."

"Smaller." Raven thought about how long it would take, the worth of the gift, and did her best to not underprice herself. "An 11x14, and I'll have it framed." She'd learned how to do that herself to save money. "Ororo's took me weeks. Of course she had to miss a lot of sittings for missions, but still I can't give away that much time. I still need to make a living."

"Okay." Emma nodded just a little. "I'll start working out from three to five every other day." Raven nodded back, knowing she'd probably see Emma at least once a week with that schedule, but that was still an improvement. Emma picked up the picture Raven had given her and smirked. "Are you really this angry at me or do you feel you SHOULD be that angry with me?" Emma motioned to the picture. A customer stopped at the table before Raven could answer and Raven had to bite back her angry retort as Emma walked away.

…………………..


	29. Hellfire 2 Part 10

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven sat at the table, working on her sketch as waiters and diners bustled around the busy restaurant. It helped to pass time as she waited for her dinner and the page started to fill with mutant diners. It was at times like this, when there were so many obvious mutants around her that Raven felt she needed to record this because never in her wildest dreams did she ever believe a place like this could exist.

She never wanted to leave and go back to hiding what she really was.

The voice at her table was a surprise, as Emma interrupted Raven's work. "They say the wait for a table is at a half hour." Emma moved to slide into the seat across from Raven. "I'll buy your dinner if you don't mind sharing your table."

"That's hardly a fair trade, since you'd make me lose my appetite." Raven stared coldly at Emma, but the telepath just gave her a knowing little smile.

"So did you see the poster Ellie put up at the gym?" Emma ignored her jab. "I think the picture of you drawing will pull in a lot of the gym crowd that knows surprisingly little about your talents."

"It was hard to miss it; she put it directly behind the main desk." Raven had been a little embarrassed to see the picture of her concentrating over her easel. People had started to talk to her more, to ask about her art and training after they'd seen that.

"Yes, I heard that you've visited Italy and Paris to hone your skills." Emma stole Raven's lemonade and took a sip, making it seem so natural for her to do that. It was some sort of childish game to Emma so Raven refused to rise to that bait and argue over something like that.

"I've studied everywhere I've been." Raven sighed as she thought about her less than typical education, but she'd seen art departments in a college and she now believed her education was better. Not that she'd get the same respect for it. Raven's eyes narrowed a little as she stared at Emma, sending her invitation for Emma to leave nonverbally.

"You're wasting your skills in the Market." Emma was staring at Raven's sketchpad with the partially done sketch. "You make it seem so effortless."

"Practice." Raven tired of the polite conversation. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm about to have dinner." Emma waved the waiter over and Raven had to wait for Emma to order, without even getting a menu, before Emma spoke to her again. Raven just shook her head in irritation at Emma's stupid little games starting up again. The two weeks of relative freedom from this was apparently all Raven would get. "And you had looked so lonely and out of place sitting all alone here."

"I was just fine. I'm used to it." Raven replied, and then almost cringed at what that revealed about her. She managed to keep her body from betraying her discomfort at Emma knowing how alone Raven tended to be. "Don't pretend to give a damn, you just like to torment me."

"Well then, perhaps it was because I didn't want to sit alone, especially when I saw someone I knew was already here." Emma let out a sigh. "You over estimate my sadistic qualities Raven. I really don't and didn't enjoy hurting you." The blonde stared into Raven's eyes. "I'm sorry I whipped you. It was either Sebastian or I for that, and with him being considerably stronger than I, I decided it would be best to do it myself." Raven's jaw clenched as Emma spoke. "It would have been Tessa if I hadn't tricked you into disobeying her. I didn't want her to have to do that. It was clear Christy took comfort in Tessa's presence and I saw no reason to upset that." Emma paused. "Do you know why Christy was so drawn to Tessa?"

"No." Raven lied with a cold expression on her face.

"I was always curious." Emma took the glass of something that the waiter brought by without even glancing at him. "Tessa seemed a little attached herself, not that Sebastian seemed to care. He likes to test loyalty like that. To make us prove ourselves his, in spite of the pain it caused us."

Raven didn't know what she could say that that. To seem to care herself would be a red flag, where if it were just Christy that cared it could be attributed to the world few others knew much about. The silence was punctuated by Emma's taking a deliberate sip of her new drink, as if she knew Raven wouldn't have anything to say.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about this in public." Raven glanced around at the diners, the families and couples, the groups of friends at all the other tables.

"Yes well, waiting for you is tedious, and there really are fewer people here to divert their attention than at the club. You really don't know how many of the men and women at the club watch you. I'm surprised you aren't dating all the time with the level of interest that flies around in the gym." Emma smirked just a little. "If there is anyone you're interested in, I could check and see if they are a member of your fan club."

"Don't." Raven glared at Emma to stop the teasing about such a sensitive topic. A movement out of the corner of her eye drew Raven's attention to a boy delivering her meal and looking slightly confused about an unexpected second person at the table. "Would you make that to go?" Raven addressed him, "I've lost my appetite." The barb was aimed at Emma while Raven's eyes weren't.

"Yes ma'am." He moved with the plate back towards where he came from and Raven watched him a moment before turning to Emma.

"You really don't have to run you know." Emma didn't look too pleased.

Raven stood and leaned over the table, her eyes glaring into Emma's light blue ones, "Oh I know I don't have to," Her voice held a quiet threat, "I want to." She then turned and walked toward the waiter, not waiting for him to return. She took her box and gave Emma an arrogant nod as she left the blonde to pay for it.

As Raven stepped outside she smiled just a little, feeling a bit smug in being able to snub Emma and that it had clearly bothered the telepath. It wasn't often that Raven got a reaction out of the woman. She took her boxed lunch and moved toward the boardwalk, where she could eat and watch the ocean.

………………….

The fair was bigger than Raven thought it would be, she looked around at the other tables as she sat down. Her portfolios were on the table and someone had created a large banner naming her booth Raven Christine in a classy script style, gold lettering on black. Raven was definitely going to make sure to slip that banner out with her when she left.

She could see various other booths being set up, and one other woman from the Market as well. The school gym and the hallways to it were filled with booths, games, and people. There was a small stage at one end of the gym, which Raven had a decent view of from her incredible spot in the middle of all the action.

She was starting to be glad she had agreed to do this, as she started to work on drawing a cute young couple that dared to be the first customers of the day, before the event even officially opened.

Raven's hand moved quickly over the canvas, her eyes darting between paper and subjects as the challenge of doing her art well and fast became fun. She smiled as she handed yet another drawing to someone and took the money while another subject took a seat unasked and a small group which was actually the line up for her art watched.

"I told you that you would be popular." Emma's voice interrupted the flow of the evening and Raven glanced over at the woman before looking back to her subjects and continuing to draw. "The raffle tickets for your painting are selling very well."

"Good." Raven's hand moved over the canvas, but she was listening to Emma. "I could use a cash drop. I don't feel comfortable with my cash box that full."

"I could take it for you." Emma offered while walking around the table and into Raven's working space. Raven stopped drawing for a moment to look over at the telepath while considering it.

"By yourself?" Raven asked, not sure how she felt about that. There was no reason to think Emma would steal from her, but to have Emma walking around with that kind of money, well it could be dangerous. Especially if anyone here decided to become a mugger, because they all would know Emma had money on her when she walked away.

"I won't rob you." Emma's eyes darkened in anger and Raven looked away with a sigh.

"That's not it."

"Are you actually worried about me?" The hint of amusement in Emma's voice drew a glare from Raven.

"Hell no. I'd suggest you play in traffic if I thought you'd do it." Raven put down her pen and grabbed the cash box, quickly moving money into a bag while trying to not let anyone see how many twenties were going in. She left just enough to make change and handed the rest over without counting it, but she did use her pen to sign the paper bag that had been for her meal, while the sandwich and apple were set beside the cash box.

Emma took the bag without a seeming care to who knew she had it. Of course maybe a telepath would be able to avoid a mugging before it ever started, Raven allowed as she sat back down to draw. "The raffle will occur at nine and then we'll go to the office and work out the money. Your share, the schools share, and of course our illustrious leader who didn't feel that drama or any of the arts deserved the government money."

"At least he isn't using that money against us. I hated paying taxes in America." Raven started to draw again and smiled at her patient subjects before starting to work on a brief background on the page. It was almost done. "To think I helped fund those laws that said I wasn't worthy of life, I was never more glad that I was on the run than at tax time when I didn't have to file." She spoke quietly because Emma had remained right next to her, watching her.

"Yes, well there is that." Emma sounded a little amused. "Well, I'll see you later." There was a pause as Raven heard Emma step around the table. "Oh and Raven," It sounded like a request for her attention so Raven glanced over at the blonde. "I should have tried talking to you while you drew a long time ago. You seem almost pleasant." The telepath's smile was almost gloating. Raven just glared at her and returned to her work, ignoring Emma's laugh.

It seemed to take at least a dozen more drawings before Raven had a moment to breath. She handed off the last drawing, glanced at the people looking over her portfolios and decided they weren't ready yet. Looking around the gym she did see another familiar face and she waved Ellie over. As Ellie got closer Raven became a little concerned. The girl looked tired and sad, but trying to cover it with a small half smile that lacked realism.

"Hey Raven." Ellie glanced around the booth. "Going well?"

Raven's voice became softer as she got off her chair and moved closer to Ellie. "I'm fine." She spoke slowly, making it clear that she believed only one of them could say that. "What about you?"

Ellie gave a tired sigh. "My power is acting funny. I don't understand it."

"What is it?" Raven's concern was clear in her moving even closer to Ellie.

"I think you have a customer." Ellie glanced over at the person standing by the portfolio's looking at Raven.

"You come first Ellie." Raven spoke gently, letting the girl know that she'd close shop immediately if Ellie needed her to. Ellie gave her a grateful look.

"Go, make your money. We'll talk later."

Raven stared Ellie in the eye, her voice very sincere. "Yes we will." Ellie reached out and patted Raven's arm gently, touching, before a small smile came to Ellie's face, but Ellie didn't say anything. She just walked away.

Raven reluctantly got back to work. In spite of her distraction the end of the fair seemed to sneak up on her. As Emma took the stage Raven was finishing a drawing. She put up the closed sign and pulled her portfolios off the table while Emma thanked the crowd for coming. As she was packing up and everyone else was looking toward Emma Raven pulled that black banner with her name off the table and carefully rolled it up, smiling just a little at her new acquisition. It went into her bag with her portfolios and her money box.

"And now for the raffle." A different voice called out and Raven stood politely to watch as a gym membership was given away in one raffle. There were apparently five raffle items and Raven felt a little flattered to see the clear box her own tickets were in, because there were a lot of them in there.

"And for the personal sitting with Raven Christine and a doubtlessly beautiful portrait," the announcer spoke and a few of the people around her glanced at her for a moment, "number 857. That's ticket 857, you have won a sitting with Raven Christine." He said it like she was already famous and Raven blushed.

"Damn." Someone muttered good naturedly nearby and Raven noticed them shoving a ticket back in their pocket. "I didn't even know it went that high. I was 157." It made Raven wonder exactly how many raffle tickets were purchased. She looked back up at the announcer as Emma moved forward and whispered in his ear.

"Very good." He looked amused at Emma. "It looks like our very own Ms. Frost has actually got the winning ticket." Raven's smile fell and she did her best to cover up her dismay as Emma seemed to spot her in the crowd and smirk.

"I heard she bought an entire roll of raffle tickets." A boy whispered to his friend nearby. "I never had a chance."

"Can she do that?" The other boy asked and Raven had to wonder it as well.

"I guess so."

"So Emma, you'll need to arrange for a sitting and let us all see what it looks like when its finished." The announcer was playful and Raven took a deep breath to put a fake smile on her face for those that might look. Emma had played her and Raven hadn't even seen it coming.

"We'd like to thank Raven Christine for her generous gift." The announcer was still speaking. "She helped us raise over two thousand dollars with this raffle alone."

Emma stepped up to take the mike from him. "I'd like to remind everyone that Raven works the Market every weekend, for anyone that didn't get the opportunity to sit for her today."

………………..

Raven sat at a table counting the money she had in her money box, her back a little rigid. She could see Emma working on some paperwork at another table and she wanted to blast verbal abuse at the woman at a volume that would leave no doubt to Raven's displeasure, but there were a few other people in the room. Most likely all the vendors that fell into the partial profits clause, those that sold things like Raven did.

"I'm Ron." The man at the table across from her spoke and Raven looked up to see a man a bit older than her with red hair staring at her.

"Raven." Raven looked back down at her paper and wrote down how many one dollar bills she'd just counted. She'd hoped that her minimal answer and her focus on her work would take care of it, but Ron continued to talk.

"I was amazed at how well I did today." He continued. "I sell t-shirts." He added.

"Cool." Raven started to count out her fives. She didn't even try to make it sound like she was paying attention to him. She wasn't in the mood.

"I still have some left if you want to look through them." Raven looked up from her count, trying to remember where she was with it. "You know, I could see you work from my booth. You're pretty amazing."

"Thanks." She gave him a tense smile and tried to relax, but she could see in his eyes where this was going and she really didn't want to do this now.

"You were non-stop busy." He continued to gush. Raven took a quiet deep breath and continued to count. He was quiet for just a moment. "I was going to go get a late dinner after I got out of here."

Raven's jaw clenched a little, and she looked up to see a smirking Emma working on a calculator, clearly listening in to this.

"Would you like to join me?" The rest of the comment finally came out and Ron demanded Raven's full attention with that.

"Thanks, but no." Raven gave him a small smile to try and ease the rejection a bit.

"Maybe another night?" He tried again and Raven set her money down. She'd lost count.

"I'm gay." She couldn't believe Emma had a front seat for this. Somehow that bothered her more than having to turn someone down.

"I can be a woman." Ron smiled just a little, looking more hopeful. Raven just stared at him a little stunned, sure she'd misheard that. "That's my power, switching genders. Mine or other people's." His smile faded a little when Raven just stared, stuck on that idea. "It's temporary, but I can be a pretty woman." There was a chuckle from Emma's direction that Raven almost turned to glare at, but she stayed focused on Ron.

"Thanks, but I'm really not looking to date right now." He finally left her alone and Raven worked to try and do her count out faster. She took the school's cut toward Emma and dropped it hard right on the papers Emma was working on. Raven glared at Emma when the blonde slowly looked up at her. "You bought a painting, not me." Raven growled out quietly. "I was not and will never be for sale."

"I was thinking of doing it at my place." Emma looked up into Raven's eyes, "but if you'd rather do it at yours that would be fine as well." The telepath's voice got quieter. "And I never once thought I was buying anything more than a bit of your time and your art."

"That's all you're getting." Raven said it again as she stood up completely and pulled her bag back over her shoulder.

"Here." Emma grabbed a piece of paper and started to write down a number. "Call me tomorrow and we can set up a time." The blonde held out the piece of paper and her voice got just a little deeper with seriousness. "And if you don't call me, I can always drop by one of your jobs, or your home, and we can work it out in person." It was a threat, letting Raven know she wasn't getting out of this. Raven's jaw clenched as she took the paper and shoved it in her pocket.

"I'll call."

"If you're willing to wait a half hour, I could drive you home." Emma offered and Raven just stared at her without speaking. "It's raining. I checked." Emma smirked, "Or you could ask Ron, or is that VeRONica, to drive you home."

"I'll get a cab."

………………

The next day, after she hung up with Emma, Raven folded up the paper she'd written the White Queen's address on and put it in her bag. She felt nervous and twitchy, knowing she'd be there the next day. Just the two of them. If she focused on the art and getting it done as quickly as possible she'd still have hours in that woman's home.

Ellie moved into the break room and sat down heavily in a chair, breaking up Raven's thoughts. The girl wasn't looking any better than the night before. "You want to come home with me for dinner?" Raven asked as she moved over toward Ellie and started to return the favor of so many shoulder rubs Ellie had given her.

"Oh, that's nice." Ellie muttered while leaning forward a little while Raven massaged fragile feeling shoulders. "I have to work until six."

"I could go get some groceries and then we could go." Raven had never invited Ellie to her apartment before. It was a bit out of the way, unimpressive, and well, it seemed kind of inappropriate.

"I'll call my mom and ask." Ellie groaned just a little as Raven worked a knot in her muscles. "You're good."

"I used to be a masseuse." Raven smiled just a little as she moved her hands up into Ellie's hair. Ellie's body shivered just a little as Raven massaged and caressed Ellie's head. "You've been so tense and it looks like you don't sleep."

"You go shopping. I have to man the desk." Ellie reluctantly sat back up and sighed. "Just one more hour." It sounded like a weak pep talk the girl was giving herself.

"So you'll come over?" Raven asked.

"Mom will say yes." Ellie stood up. "She wants me to do things with friends, says I'm too much a loner."

"Okay." Raven didn't want to bring up whether Ellie's mother knew her new friend was a thirty year old lesbian. "I'll be back at six."

"I'll be here." Ellie moved toward the door, but turned around at it before stepping out. "I'm glad you're here Raven. I," Ellie grimaced. "I just am really glad you're here."

"Me too." Raven gave Ellie a weak smile, feeling more concerned about Ellie, since the precog looked like she was fragile and beaten. Even how she stood screamed of something wrong.

Raven once again paid a cab rather than walk. She normally considered the walk home a part of her workout, but Ellie looked too tired and Raven had purchased ice cream for desert.

The cab dropped them off and after Raven took care of paying she turned toward the garage. "It isn't much." She spoke as she started for the stairs.

"The yard looks nice." Ellie smiled at her, looking just a little better. "You said you took care of that right?"

"Yeah, that's my job." Raven smiled and started up the stairs. "I just laid the bark last week." But Ellie wouldn't want to talk about something that boring, Raven reminded herself. "I made some serious money last night."

"Well, you were busy." Ellie stood so close to her as Raven opened the door and stepped inside. She noticed the unmade bed with a sigh. She never invited people over, so of course she hadn't taken care of that.

"If you want to pick some music, I'll get dinner started." Raven moved right for her small kitchen and set her bags down. Her stereo was really nothing special, and her cd collection rather small, but some background noise would be more comfortable. Raven could hear Ellie going through the cd's while Raven unpacked and started up the oven. Soon the soft sounds of K.D. Lang filled the air. Raven almost regretted Ellie's choice, because this was the one cd that Raven considered musical sex.

"Melissa, K.D., yep you're a lesbian. Did you know that?" Ellie teased as she moved into the kitchen area and sat down at the table.

"Really?" Raven tried not to grin as she acted surprised. "Why didn't any of my ex girlfriends ever tell me? I'm Gay?"

"Smart ass." Ellie smiled at her, and it looked better, more real, than a smile had looked on the girl earlier that day. "So," The smile faded, "I've been seeing things that don't make sense." Ellie jumped right into the problem.

Raven finished putting food in the oven and moved to sit at the old table across from Ellie, giving the girl a serious look. "Visions?"

"Visions and readings." Ellie sighed and seemed to slump in the seat. "My precog power works two ways. I get random visions, usually when I'm sleeping or just not focused on something. I don't have a lot of control over those. I also can do readings. I can focus on a person and see things about their future. It's what I did to you when I met you. You were staring at me, and drawing, so I just thought it would be fair to practice on you." Ellie gave Raven a weak smile. "I'm glad I did." Raven reached her hand over the table and Ellie took it, just staring at their hands in silence, almost in mourning from what Raven could see, and it worried her. "Lately, what I've been seeing is horrible, I don't know why I feel it's horrible, but its filled with gloom and sadness. I have visions of broken glass, broken bricks, fire and darkness. Nothing tangible at all, and I see it in both my visions and my readings. I only get glass off of some of the students in my telepathy class, I get broken bricks off of some of the people at the gym, and I get fire or emptiness off of other people. I don't see anything else. I don't see a future anymore." Ellie took her hand back and ran it through her hair in frustration. "This has never happened before." The girl's hands moved away from her head and Ellie stared at Raven. Raven watched tears collect in Ellie's eyes and Ellie whispered. "I'm scared."

"It might not be," Raven stopped talking and stared into Ellie's glassy eyes. She got up and dragged her chair around the table to sit right next to Ellie and then Raven reached out to take her hand. "There are things that can block or trick a precog. Maybe this is just a glitch in reality."

"That makes no sense." Ellie spoke through her clenched jaw.

"I had a friend, a precog, and she lost her daughter's readings I guess you'd call it. She was panicked and upset and it hurt her so bad, but later her daughter reappeared. She wasn't gone." Of course it had been after Irene's death, but that wasn't a necessary part of the story here.

"She lost the readings on one person," Ellie's chin was quivering, so Raven pulled Ellie into a hug and gently petted her wild black hair. "I've been doing reading after reading for days and I rarely get a future off of it. Just a few people, a handful, which is worse than no one, because it makes me wonder why them and why not others." Ellie's hand caressed Raven's shoulder. "I see you." Ellie whispered. "So many paths, still so many. The bright lady stays so strong, fights so hard, cries so silently." Ellie whispered and the hairs on the back of Raven's neck stood up a bit while her eyes widened. She could almost feel Ellie's power while holding her this close. "Like a butterfly out of a cocoon." Ellie was just running with her vision now, her reading, "You'll crawl, but you won't run."

"Ellie?" Raven finally whispered into the silence after the reading, hoping to stop Ellie from doing any more. Raven didn't like what she was hearing and how Ellie sounded so lost when she said it.

"I see myself in you Raven." Ellie whispered mournfully. "I," the girl hesitated and pulled away to stare into Raven's eyes. Raven swallowed nervously as Ellie leaned closer and closer. Raven sat stiffly as Ellie's lips touched her own, first tentatively and then a little more firmly. Ellie pulled away after a moment of Raven just sitting there too nervous to respond and stared at the ground. "My first kiss and I stole it. I'm sorry." Raven felt Ellie's tears fall onto her hand and it made her finally move, take in a deep breath.

"No, this," Raven tilted Ellie's face up and smiled into Ellie's confused eyes, "this is your first kiss." Raven spoke gently, softly, before leaning closer and running her lips over Ellie's soft pale cheek, before softly moaning at the way the young girl's lips tasted and moving to slowly consume the breath from Ellie's shaking body. Raven held Ellie a little tighter and tilted her head before deepening the kiss. It was Ellie's first and Raven wanted it to be everything the girl ever dreamed about.

It was the only thing she'd ever been able to give Tessa as well. The first kiss. There hadn't been a law against kissing then and as far as Raven knew there wasn't one here and now.

Raven moved her lips away and kissed away Ellie's tears while doing her best to ignore her own. Now was the time she should tell Ellie it was only a kiss, but Raven couldn't do it. Couldn't ruin it like that. Didn't really want it to just be a kiss on some level she knew she had to ignore. "That's a kiss." Raven whispered, because now she really didn't know what to say. Ellie seemed to snuggle into her arms and Raven just held her.

It took a while before either of them tried to talk. Ellie's voice was more shy, vulnerable, and young than Raven had ever heard it. "Thank you." Raven couldn't help it, she chuckled, but when Ellie tensed up her new smile faded.

"Thanking me for kissing you isn't really, I mean," Raven sighed and sat up a little straighter. "I feel like I should thank you, if we're going to do that." She smiled just a little and got one in return. Raven could see in Ellie the beginning of what would truly be a beautiful woman in a few years. "Do we want a movie? My landlord has a large collection and he lets me borrow all the time." Raven asked to break the awkward silence.

Ellie leaned forward and kissed Raven again, with a little more confidence she slowly pushed her tongue forward to invade Raven's mouth. Raven found herself submitting instinctively, allowing the young girl to control the kiss. She enjoyed the tentative efforts Ellie made at being more confident, more dominant, but her own guilt kept her from needing more than this. She could feel Ellie's hands caressing her shoulders and running down her arms just a little before moving back up. Ellie was afraid to do more.

When the kiss ended Raven took in a deep breath and tightened her hold on Ellie's hips, which were nearly straddling Raven's legs. "Ellie, what do you want?" She finally asked, because Raven was starting to feel partly like an experiment with how Ellie kissed her.

"I want to know what its like to kiss." Ellie nibbled on her own lower lip, unaware of how innocent it made her look. Raven wasn't overly attracted to innocence. It made her look down a little guiltily, rather than into Ellie's eyes. Raven remembered how they got to this. She'd taken advantage of a scared young girl, Raven thought with disgust at herself.

"I'm sorry." Raven let go of Ellie's hips quickly and leaned back to put some distance between them. "I should never have…"

"No, no." Ellie spoke quickly, with a clear attempt to soothe. "I kissed you first remember?" Ellie's hand caressed Raven's bangs, moving them out of the way so she could see Raven. Raven noticed the slight smile and it helped, it didn't look like Ellie had fallen madly in love, but like she was sharing a conspiring smile with a friend. "No one has to know you taught me how to make out."

"That was hardly making out." Raven protested but then blushed as she thought of what else would fall under making out.

"So there's more?" Ellie tilted her head just a little and stared at Raven with a subtle grin, making Raven blush even more.

"I think we should just leave it at the kissing." Raven told her.

"Okay." Ellie moved back to sit back in her own chair and sighed heavily.

Raven got up to check on dinner, but she stayed standing near the chairs and looked down at Ellie with a small smile. "You are a very good kisser. I don't think I could handle you if you had practice." She noticed Ellie smile just a little before Raven turned to the stove.

"Same to you." Ellie's voice held her smile and it took a moment for the teasing to register to Raven's mind.

"Hey!"

Ellie laughed.

When they sat down to dinner they talked about innocent things by silent agreement. Raven learned more about the classes Ellie was taking and Raven talked about her own education in a round about way that left out the Xavier's Institute.

When Raven put the dishes in the sink she turned to look at Ellie again. "Write in a journal, all your impressions from your powers. Everything. Maybe laid out like that you'll see something you hadn't before." It was how Irene had done it after all, and maybe it would be enough to refocus Ellie's powers. Maybe it would help Ellie to see there wasn't anything to be afraid of Raven thought hopefully, but there was still an air of doom she couldn't quite shake.

She wished Irene was still around to ask about this.

Raven called and paid for the cab for Ellie and was very reluctant to let her leave, but she hid it as best she could.

…………………

After spending the entire day at the Market Raven had to pack up her things and find Emma's home. It made the Sunday feel like it dragged on forever, knowing that she had more to do after her busy shift. With a map Raven started walking toward the more affluent end of the waterfront.

Raven found herself standing in a building's hallway, in front of a door, fidgeting a little as she took a deep breath, before reaching out to knock. She could hear some classical music playing on the other side and soft footsteps right on the other side of the door, before it opened.

Emma wore blue jeans and a t-shirt. Her long hair was pulled into a ponytail and she was clearly just finished with her makeup, which was impeccable, but still overdone for the clothes. Raven would have to wait to see what Emma expected to wear. Raven held her bag tighter to her side and gripped her easel as she took a breath. Emma smiled at her. "Come in." The blonde moved back and held the door opened. "You found me okay?"

Raven hesitated a little too long, before stepping over the threshold and into a large apartment. Her eyes ran over the large living room, with its windows overlooking the ocean. Looking at the room itself, Raven could see the potential backgrounds and took in the class and style of the furniture. Her eyes moved to barely take in the dining room, and beyond that a kitchen. It was her own self preservation that had her looking toward the hall and listening for any other people she hadn't expected, but she couldn't hear anyone else moving around.

When Emma moved to close the door Raven had to take another step into the room so that the telepath could. It reminded her that Emma had asked something. "No problem. I just asked the doorman if this was where the rich soulless creatures lived." She spoke flatly and Emma's chuckle wasn't really welcome.

Raven took a deep breath and stood a little straighter as she eyed the background she wanted. If she just acted as professional as she possibly could it might be less awkward. The window and the view out of it was gorgeous. It would be even better in the morning, with the sun over the water. Raven looked at Emma objectively, pushing aside her feelings of irritation and apprehension as she looked at the blonde and took in the woman's body, her face, imagined how that hair would glow if the sun were to shine in the window. Emma would look really good on canvas. There was no point in denying that. Her voice took a thoughtful tone. "I'd like to move your loveseat to the window, maybe move the table close to it and put your vase on it." Raven pointed briefly to the vase on the dining room table's vase as she moved toward the place she envisioned her easel. Oh, where did she put it? Raven glanced around and noticed it by the front door, leaning against a dining room chair. "In the morning do you get the sunrise?"

"It's the reason I pay the exorbitant rent for this place." Emma looked out the window as well. "You're going to rearrange?"

"No, I want you to help me do it." Raven's eyes narrowed just a little, but she bit back her comment about not being Emma's servant. "The setting here is best."

"You didn't even ask what type of setting I wanted."

"I'm not going anywhere near your bedroom and you will keep all your clothes on for this." Raven spoke firmly. "I won't negotiate on that. It's here by the window or nothing at all."

"Is this how you treat all your customers?" Emma asked while moving to the side of the love seat. Raven moved to shove on the other side until they had it sliding across the floor. "Not all people crave abuse."

"Bitch" Raven muttered just barely loud enough for Emma to hear, "didn't figure that one out until now?" Raven shoved her end of the furniture a bit further back more roughly than necessary, until it was angled the way she wanted. "I'll set up while you change," Raven looked up and stared into Emma's eyes, "into different clothes. Unless you wanted me to do it the way you are?"

"No, I have something in mind." Emma moved down the hall and Raven watched the telepath go into a doorway. Once the woman was out of sight Raven moved to pick up her supplies and started to set up. Emma still wasn't out by the time Raven was done, so Raven slowly started to move around the room, taking in the décor.

While everything was classy, it had an almost unlived in feeling, Raven thought as she moved to look at one of the few personal touches in the living room. A few pictures sat on various flat spaces. They were small and the frames made them blend in more than accents really should. Raven picked one up and looked at it. She felt a bit uncomfortable as she stared at a group photo of several kids and two adults. Emma was smiling, a real smile, as she stood beside a blonde girl that resembled Sam Guthrie, a New Mutant that lived at the mansion. Raven studied that girl for a moment, before letting her eyes wander over a beautiful black girl, and then an Asian girl with a horribly yellow coat. Raven looked over all the students in the line until she reached the last person, Sean. He was an Xman, one that Raven had very little to do with in the past. Unless they lived at the mansion all the time Raven rarely met them, since she had almost never been allowed to go on missions.

These students were the ones Irene told her Emma was going to save. These were the kids that would have died if it hadn't been the Hellions dying. Raven stared at the photo with an empty nervous feeling. It made her decision more real, it hadn't really struck her that a letter she'd never mailed would result in this. She'd known abstractly, but it was hard to accept that the act of not mailing a letter would have such an impact. Raven studied their faces, their body language, and Emma's as well. They looked happy.

Raven glanced at the other picture on the table and did her best to swallow some of her guilt as she noticed another happy looking group of students. She put the picture in her hand down and picked up the other one. Hellions stared at her. Raven glanced toward the hall and didn't see any sign of Emma returning, so she pulled the picture closer and studied their faces.

Which one would have hurt Tessa? She wondered as she looked at them. She also noticed a few that might have gained Selene's unwanted attention. She noticed the way Emma looked over her group with a more superior attitude, the way she seemed to be proud, but still a bit aloof. It wasn't like the Emma in the other picture, this Emma was more closed off. Raven's eyes moved away from Emma and looked at the children Raven didn't save, or did. It really was hard to tell how she should think of it. She'd struggled with that off and on for years.

While Raven had never met these kids, she'd heard of them. Doug and Kitty had mentioned them before. Raven's hand moved out and she used a finger to caress the glass over a girl with purple hair. That would be the most innocent one. Her finger moved over the Native American boy, the one she heard had honor. She set the photo down carefully, aware of how much it must mean to Emma. Among next to no personal belongs, Emma had these photos. They must be like Emma's three bags, the things she held onto no matter what.

When Emma stepped back into the room Raven didn't have the energy or motivation to glare at the woman. Emma wore a formal gown and her make up was done for a night out. At least it wasn't the White Queen garb. Raven really didn't feel like painting now, she was just tired, so very tired.

"So you're going for sophisticated?" Raven bothered to ask. As the artist she'd need to skew her vision of this subject more than normal to get what Emma wanted. Still looking at the telepath it was hard to deny the woman could be sophisticated and beautiful. Emma just raised an eyebrow at Raven's wording, so Raven glanced at the window. "Well, the good thing about this is that no one will be able to tell if it's a sunrise or a sunset, so it'll be assumed the sun is going down." Raven continued to look out the window with a sigh. "The bad thing is that we'll have to do some work very early in the morning to give the illusion of a sunset. I can do some now, but I'll need to see the room and you with the sun on you to get the highlights right." This wasn't how Raven really wanted to do this. She'd hoped to do a marathon session or two and be done with it, but her artistic integrity wouldn't let her do less than her best, and this plan was the best she had.

After ironing out with Emma when they could work on this, and explaining to the woman why they needed to do it this way, Emma finally moved to the love seat. Raven waited until the woman thought she was in position before moving forward to make a few alterations.

"You want to seduce the canvas don't you?" Raven spoke quietly as she took in the way Emma was laying on the loveseat, and then reached forward to adjust the folds of the dress. "I need a pillow." She looked at how Emma was laying and just knew that the woman would have trouble holding the pose without a little help.

"Planning to take a nap?" Emma smirked at her as Raven moved some of Emma's hair, tucking it behind one of her ears. It felt strange to do this with Emma.

"I need to support your back. This will take a bit longer than is comfortable and the longer you can hold the pose the better." She glanced at the glass of red wine in Emma's hand. "And don't drink any of that. You move and the folds of your dress will move." It served as a prop, and one that fit with what they were doing.

"There are pillows on my bed," Emma spoke and Raven mentally grimaced while not letting it show on her face. She should have asked about this before starting to prep Emma. "It's just down the hall, unless you wanted me to get up."

"No, you stay." Raven took a breath and turned to walk away. When she got there the bedroom wasn't nearly as huge as the one Emma had at the Hellfire club. She grabbed the nearest pillow.

"I thought you weren't going anywhere near my bedroom." She could hear Emma call out while Raven was in the room she'd sworn she wouldn't see.

"Bitch." Raven muttered and moved to leave. When she got to Emma she was a little less gentle about putting the pillow behind the woman and shoving Emma back into it. "See, support." She spoke coldly and then readjusted the folds of the dress again. She moved Emma's shoulder back and then changed her mind, moving her a little more.

"I feel like a doll." Emma complained about Raven's posing her.

"Well, if you could do seductive on your own without help we wouldn't need to work so hard at it now would we?" Raven's voice struck out like a slap. "Do you have any idea how much imagination I'm going to have to use to make this work?"

"You don't think I'm seductive?" Emma sounded amused. "I think the lady doeth protest too much. You snap at me and now you're about ready to deem me homely? I'm sorry, but I'm not falling for your act."

"Conceited bitch. Nothing changes." Raven left Emma as she was and moved back to her easel.

"I'd say a lot has changed Raven." Emma held her pose but continued to talk. Raven busied herself with mixing paint. "I've changed a lot, but you won't let yourself see that."

"You still use your power, money, and sexuality to get what you want Emma." Raven worked her paints carefully and took some comfort from being on this side of a canvas from Emma. "You use people and you can't even see how horrible it is. I don't know how you think you have the right to invade my life like this after what you've done. How do you sleep at night?" Raven moved to mix another color on her palette in silence.

"I've hurt people." Emma finally answered, her voice somber. "And I've been trying my best to make up for some of the mistakes of my youth. I've sought out people I've hurt and I've tried to make amends. I've had to face many people, and it has been difficult, but none of them had the type of grievance against me that you do, and I wasn't able to find you. Now I have." Raven looked up from her work and stared at Emma.

"I don't want your weak apologies." Raven's jaw clenched and her fingers tightened around her paintbrush. "It could never be enough. You could have saved us, and you just decided to take advantage of the situation. Now I'm supposed to believe you've had this grand epiphany and are seeking redemption? It's bullshit. You've been playing with me just like you did to Christy and I, it just isn't sexual this time, but it's all a game to you."

Emma's jaw clenched and Raven noticed a slight shifting of her body, but it didn't stop Raven from finally putting the brush to canvas. This time it was Emma that was trapped, and unable to move freely. Emma's voice was serious and quiet, "I had never seen anyone use the club the way we did when you were captured. We'd never had an unwilling victim, and I was sickened by what happened to you. You asked how I sleep at night. I can honestly tell you that if I wasn't a telepath and able to manipulate my own mind I wouldn't sleep well at all. Even so I've had nightmares that haunt me."

"So have I." Raven paused in her painting. "Only I don't deserve it and you certainly do. I was trapped inside of my own body, more bound that anything you could have done and I couldn't stop anything. I had to watch as Christy and I were abused and I couldn't do anything." Her eyes watered and Raven hated herself for it. She wanted to appear strong and inspire guilt, but talking about it hurt. "So I'm so sorry if I can't give a damn about your fucking nightmares."

"I doubt the others, well except for Tessa, have any remorse."

"And that is why I didn't kill you when you showed up." Raven's eyes were stone, with the memory of her ability to kill, and with the memory of Christy's ability to kill coldly. She ignored the mention of Tessa and stared at Emma. "but that is all you'll get from me. Forgiveness isn't on the menu." Raven's eyes returned to the canvas.

"So it was you that shot at Sebastian?" Emma paused, "It wasn't Tessa you were aiming at. Not after, well, I guess we could call it her sacrifice. I doubt you would have aimed at her." Her voice dropped. "She was never the same again afterwards. She became even more closed off." Raven hated to hear this, to have this woman tell her about Tessa. "She never did take another slave, willing or not."

"Did you bring me here to talk or paint?" Raven fidgeted a little and readjusted her palette in her hand.

"We can't do both?" Emma's familiar half smirk was flirtatious, and irritating. Did the woman even realize she did this or was using sex so ingrained it came naturally now? "I thought maybe you'd like to know what became of us."

"I don't really give a damn." Raven lied.

"Selene's pets met a sad end. The woman was upset that her dogs both died so unexpectedly." Emma was looking like she was taking credit for that without really saying it. A wave of nausea hit Raven as she remembered that night. She wouldn't mind if the entire club met a sad end.

"How about you don't talk." Raven finally ordered. "Just sit there quietly or I'm leaving." She meant it to. She would just get up and walk away if the woman didn't stop talking about it. Emma must have realized it, because she went quiet.

Once it became obvious that Emma had sat still as long as she could Raven called it a night and moved toward the kitchen to clean off her brushes. She unbuttoned her sleeves and shoved them up a bit so she didn't get paint on her shirt while she worked on the brushes, and ignored the sounds of Emma walking across the kitchen to the fridge. "Would you like something to drink?" Emma asked while looking in the fridge. "I have several very nice wines, a nice scotch, diet coke, orange juice…"

"I could use some orange juice." Raven picked before the list grew any more. Emma poured it and moved to set the glass near the sink while Raven washed her palette.

"Raven?" Emma spoke a bit hesitantly and Raven was surprised to see Emma's hand reaching for Raven's arm. Surprised enough to not pull away immediately, and Emma grabbed Raven's arm and pulled it closer to her, looking at Raven's wrist. "Oh dear," Emma whispered and Raven felt a flush of shame and embarrassment as she realized what Emma had found so interesting, "you didn't." Emma protested so gently as the blonde caressed the sensitive and abused skin of Raven's wrist.

Raven tugged on her arm and got it away from Emma. "Don't touch me."

"You didn't have this before." Emma motioned toward Raven's wrists. "Is the other one like this?"

"I'll be back Tuesday morning. Be ready, we don't have a lot of time with us needing to catch the sun in the right spot." Raven left the glass of juice untouched and moved to pick up her supplies.

"Raven," Emma started and Raven interrupted her.

"Don't. It's none of your business." Raven glared at the woman, but she was embarrassed. Not a lot of people noticed the scars that were thankfully faded.

"You tried to kill yourself." Emma's voice was a bit flat and unhappy with the realization.

"New rule. No talking about anything personal, the past, nothing. I'm just here to paint and all we will talk about is painting." Raven moved to leave the kitchen. She managed to leave the woman's apartment with little else of value being said, but she felt like kicking herself for actually rolling up her sleeves in that place.

………………………..

"What happened to your friend?" Raven's manager asked the next day when Raven was sitting in the break room. "The four armed one that had an appointment with you right now?" His suspicious tone irritated her. She wondered if he thought it was a lover's tiff that cost him the price of a personal trainer session.

"Her husband took her on a surprise anniversary vacation to Italy." He'd found Raven at the Market on Saturday and asked her about where to take Karen for fun and where to avoid even with his wife wearing an image inducer. His power to find people or things and his weak luck power were enough for him to catch Raven during a very rare lull in her work. Raven was grateful for the chance to be able to use her knowledge of another country to help someone out. She liked being able to talk about her past lives in even that general a way. "I couldn't cancel her appointment or she would have realized that she wouldn't be here today. Don't worry, he said he'd pay for the session if I kept it quiet and just took a break." She held up her bagel with a weary and irritated fake smile. "So I'm taking a break."

"Okay, fine." He nodded, but then he moved to sit down across from her at the table for a moment. "You have that booth at the Market. Get a lot of business?" Raven was a little surprised by the attempt at a conversation.

"Yeah, I've been getting busier."

"Do you think if we had a booth about the gym where we sold memberships we'd get business?" He glanced at the bulletin board. "We could put out flyers and information." He looked back at her. "Maybe if we put it next to you, you'd be able to answer questions? It isn't like we'd need someone to just sit there."

"I can't." Raven dreaded the idea of trying to do her art, keep her customers happy, talk with potential customers looking at her portfolios, and having to talk about the gym all at the same time. "You might get some business, but I'm not just cashiering a booth, I'm way too busy to man another."

"Oh," He stood up, looking just a tad embarrassed. "I'll look into someone else for it."

"Ask for a booth in Section E, that'll be near me. In the rare moments that I'm not busy I can help out." Raven offered, "If I had both weekend days off I'd be there for the entire time. Now I miss a few hours of my paid for time."

"Okay." He smiled just a little. "But if any of the others ask, tell them you're backing up the new booth, giving breaks. I don't want to hear bitching about how the new girl got out of weekends." Raven reconsidered her opinion of him being an asshole. Maybe he wasn't that bad. She smiled at him as he moved to leave, then went back to her bagel.

Raven's shift ended at two, since she had the early shift today. It had served to give her a day break before working with Emma all week, ensured she'd miss Emma's work out that day, and also meant she'd need to wait around if she wanted to catch Ellie and see how the girl was. Ellie didn't start work until three.

With time to kill Raven thought she might as well try the sauna. She'd sent people to it, but she'd never really spent any time there herself. Part of that had to do with her own concern that the women there might be upset with an openly lesbian employee hanging out there and she didn't want to have to defend herself from accusations, but Karen had told her that her internalized homophobia was just that, internal, and that she should stop expecting the worst. Sometimes having a Psychologist for a friend was a bit tiring.

She stepped into the steam filled room and saw only two other people in there. It was the slow time of day for the gym and Raven was a little grateful as she sat far from the other two and leaned back against the wall. Her towel covered her nude form and the air was a little hard to breath, but it did feel good. Raven closed her eyes and slowly lowered her shield just a little, letting her powers warm her from the inside as well.

She stayed a bit longer than the other women did and then moved to shower and change, getting to the check in desk just as Ellie was starting her shift. "You look a little red." Ellie said, looking a bit tired and depressed herself.

"Sauna." Raven spoke gently and moved to lean on the desk. "You okay?"

"My power is starting to clear up a little. It's more than just flashes of images. I'm getting some movement, some action again. Maybe soon it will make sense." Ellie sighed.

Raven spoke very softly, aware of the people around them and how they might be out of range to listen in. "I have the next two days off, but if you want you can come by my place. I'll be planting and working in the garden, but you could always keep me company." Ellie smiled just a little.

"I could tomorrow, but my Mom got us tickets to a play for Wednesday. She feels guilty about not being home more. She does this every once in a while."

"Okay, tomorrow it is then." Raven hoped that Ellie's power problem would be over by then. The girl was looking more pale than normal. "Bring your journal and maybe we'll have enough to make some sense of it all."

"That's fine."

With that decided Raven left before she and Ellie got in trouble for standing around and talking. She could see their manager glancing out of his office toward them.

……………….

It was dark. Raven felt the morning chill and the abandoned streets gave the city a surreal feeling and she wasn't at all happy about being up at this hour. Her only consolation was that Emma would have to be up before the sun as well. Hopefully the White Queen hated it even more. Raven shook her head, thinking that if she'd just accepted a different scene idea she would still be in bed.

The poor doorman was actually at the door, drinking coffee and surprised to see Raven step up. "I'm here for Emma Frost." The woman lived in a secured building. Makes sense if you piss people off as much as Emma must.

"And you are?" He moved to enter the building and around the desk to look at a binder.

"Raven Christine."

"Oh yes. She has you listed as able to go right up." He pointed toward the elevators. He also made it sound like a privilege.

Emma answered the door with a cup of coffee in one hand, but other than that there was no indication that the hour bothered her. Raven just sighed as she stepped into the apartment without speaking.

"Would you like some coffee?" Emma offered and Raven stared at the cup Emma just took a sip out of. She normally didn't drink coffee, but she was really dragging and didn't want to have to shake herself awake repeatedly while trying to work. "It's a cup of coffee, not a world trade agreement. Do you want one or not?" Emma snapped at her and Raven, "It doesn't take a lot of thought."

"You used to drug my drinks."

"And Christy knew it. It isn't like I snuck anything in to her." Emma was cranky at this hour, Raven thought with some satisfaction that while the woman looked the part she was clearly hating this hour as much as Raven. Raven watched Emma take a deep deliberate sip of her own cup and then held it out. "You can take this one if you don't trust me. I'll pour a new one."

Raven reached out a little hesitantly and took the cup, pulling it closer to her body and watching as Emma moved to the kitchen. She'd already broken her own rule about not talking about the past. With another tired sigh she took a sip of the coffee. "Good." She spoke quietly.

"It's one of the vices I didn't give up." Emma turned with a new cup in her hand. "Truly good coffee." Raven opened her mouth, about to bring up some of those vices she remembered, but then just closed it and took another sip of her coffee. It was too early for this and she didn't want to waste the sun, which was starting to come up.

"Better drink fast, I need to pose you." Raven was looking out the window as she said that.

"I know you just started it, but I did look." Emma took a step towards the easel Raven had left behind. "I like what you're doing."

Raven moved to look at the canvas as well, and pointed to a spot in the painting. "I want to put the sun there. It'll set off your hair and glisten off the ocean."

"It's a good thing we've been having some nice weather then." Emma took another deep sip of her coffee.

"That was lucky." Raven stood a little taller and stared out the window at the lightening sky. "This view is too pretty to pass up."

"Do you paint anymore or is this an odd occurrence?"

"I paint often. I explored a few styles and subjects, but I prefer to paint and draw people. I like to capture life as it is happening." She stared out at the water. "I think you should get in position. I can get a bit of work done while we wait for the sun to come up enough to place the highlights."

"I need to put on more lipstick." Emma moved to rummage through her purse. "I'll have to wash off all of this makeup before I go to work."

Once Emma felt she was done up enough Raven helped to position her like she'd been before. When she reached out to push Emma's hair behind her ear again Emma stared up at her. "If the long sleeve shirt gets in your way, you could just take it off. You are wearing a tshirt under that aren't you?" The woman glanced at Raven's hidden wrists.

"It's fine." Raven's lips thinned a little as she answered Emma.

"It's up to you." Emma muttered and Raven just moved back to her easel to get to work. They only had about two hours tops before Emma had to get ready for work and Raven planned to go back home and take a nap.

It was relatively quiet as Raven worked as fast as she could to capture as much of the picture as she could while the sun was in the area she wanted it. She was so busy that Emma finally gave up trying to talk, which Raven was grateful for.

As soon as Emma said they needed to stop Raven grabbed her brushes and palette and moved to the kitchen, while Emma moved down the hall to change and take a shower. It felt awkward and too domestic. Raven packed her supplies and moved to stare at the painting when she heard the shower start in the bathroom. She stared at the painting, looking for something in the paintings eyes that told her what was really going on because something wasn't right. She didn't see the cruelty, that's what was bothering her about this painting, the cruelty was gone. Raven hadn't purposely altered anything yet. She searched her mind, remembering Emma looking at her, because her pose had her looking directly at the canvas. Raven finally just stepped away from the canvas. "I'm leaving." She called down the hall. The water stopped at that moment, making her call out louder seeming.

"You could stay for breakfast."

"No, I'm just going to head out. I'll see you tomorrow." It still felt odd to be here yelling through a bathroom door. Raven's eyebrows drew together for a moment before she turned to leave. Emma didn't manage to come out before the front door closed.

The next morning, which she really considered the middle of the night, Raven returned to Emma's door. The coffee Emma gave her wasn't pre-tasted to test for drugs, but Raven took it anyway and moved to sit quietly at the dining table. She was very tired. She and Ellie had worked for an hour on the journal and couldn't figure anything out, so they'd watched a movie, that turned into two, and it was a little late when Ellie went home.

"Was Christy an artist?" Emma asked and Raven looked up to see the woman leaning against the kitchen counter nursing her own coffee.

"No. She went to college and became a teacher." Raven stared at the coffee cup and the dark liquid in it. "And you heard how she was her Emma's head of security, the boss body guard."

"Did you finish college?" Emma asked, but Raven would be willing to bet money that the telepath had already looked into Raven's past. She would have had access if she'd worked with the Xmen. That felt like a betrayal yet again that the woman could walk into what had been Raven's home and look up her history.

"I have an associates degree. By then my mother's boyfriend found out I was a mutant and the Professor came to enslave… I mean save, me." Her words were bitter and made it clear she'd meant the first word. "I spent the rest of my time trying to learn skills that would be useful to an Xman, and they didn't teach those in college."

"Christy really didn't like Charles either." Emma sounded thoughtful.

"We need to get to work." She really didn't want to have to dodge Emma's question of why, why neither Christy trusted the Professor. Christy's reasons wouldn't fit with Raven saying it was how the Professor responded to their rapes.

"I guess we should." Emma set her coffee cup down and moved toward the loveseat. "You told me once that Christy knew who the spy was." Emma spoke as she worked to move into position. Raven just stood near the loveseat to wait for when she'd need to make adjustment. "Is that why she didn't like Charles, or was it a Charles from her own world that made her sound so bitter when she mentioned him?"

"The one from her world was a real piece of work too." Raven said flatly and moved forward to adjust the folds of the dress again. It struck her how submissive that seemed, to arrange the Mistress' outfit. No wonder Emma didn't seem bothered by it, she was probably used to it.

"Would you say the doubles on her world are like the ones here?"

"Some were and others were way off." Raven moved Emma's hair into position with a sigh.

"Did she know a Tessa in that world? Is that why she was so affectionate with mine?" Mine, the word rang around in Raven's mind. Emma said it so casually, that Tessa was hers. Raven's fist clenched just a little and she moved to push Emma's shoulder into place a little harder than she should have. When she stared down into Emma's eyes the woman didn't say anything, she just stared at Raven waiting.

"There, now don't move." Raven ordered and moved toward her canvas.

"You didn't answer." Emma's voice grated on Raven's nerves.

"Yes, she knew a Tessa. Worked with her at times." Raven moved to pick up her palette and studied the colors the just rising sun was bringing out.

"Did she want her? Was she cheating on her Emma with her?"

"Christy was the most fucking loyal person you ever met." Raven glared at Emma. "She never would have betrayed her lover like that. She worshipped her lover." What Christy did with Tessa and with Raven was different. Raven had heard Christy's reasoning for choosing to be with Tessa, and it was solid and never would have happened if Christy weren't so alone and hurting. And Raven, well, it was special and it meant something, but it wasn't exactly cheating.

Emma just stared at Raven for a little too long. "I didn't mean to suggest she was anything but the saint you seem to think she is. I was just curious."

"Yeah, well," Raven angrily mixed her colors. "We're back to the rules. Nothing that isn't about painting, and I'd rather you just shut up completely."

………………

"Raven," The answering machine filled the apartment with Ellie's voice. Raven didn't like the tension she could hear and was pissed at herself for taking that late jog when clearly she should have been hear to answer the phone, "I, well, I think I figured it out." Ellie sounded miserable. "I figured it out at school today. We're all going to die. That's why there aren't many futures anymore. We're all going to die."

Raven dropped the shoe in her hand onto the floor, her eyes widened and she stared at the machine as the silence filled the room for a little too long. "I… Oh God. I just wanted you to know. It seems stupid now, but I wanted…" Ellie sounded tearful. "Raven, I'm glad you let me kiss you. I just wanted you to know that." The message machine beeped and stopped playing. Ellie had hung up.

"Oh Shit." Raven muttered as she moved to her purse to try and find Ellie's number. Hell, if she didn't find it she'd just go over there, no matter what Ellie's mother would think. She did find it and dialed the number quickly, her other shoe was kicked off as she waited for someone to answer.

"Hello?" It wasn't Ellie.

"Hi, I'd like to talk with Ellie." She was polite and if she pitched her voice to sound a little younger, well it would avoid weird questions.

"It's getting late and she hasn't been feeling well today." Ellie's mother was clearly thinking of not passing her on.

"Please, she called me earlier. I need to talk to her."

"Who should I tell her is calling?"

"Raven."

"Oh," She sounded a little more friendly. "Raven, I've heard Ellie talk about you. I wanted to thank you for spending so much time with Ellie." Oh, she wouldn't say that if she knew who Raven really was, Raven thought with some guilt.

"It's no problem. I like her." She played the responsible adult and forgot the young girl routine. "Is she awake?"

It wasn't long and Ellie's voice came across the phone. "Raven."

"Ellie, honey, what's going on?"

"Mom, I'm gonna take this to my room." Ellie spoke away from the phone, but it was still clear. Raven waited to hear Ellie speak to her, and the girl didn't until Raven heard a door close.

"My readings are working again. I've read twenty people today, and they will all die soon." Ellie paused. "They don't die in the same way or in the same place, but they all die." Raven felt helpless as she listened to the hopelessness in Ellie's voice. "And I had a vision, had it a few times. Everyone in my school," The girl's words slowed and stopped. Raven could hear the quiet sobs.

"Ellie." Raven's voice was rough with her own tears, but she couldn't believe it was unavoidable. She didn't want to believe it at all, but Ellie was very good at what she did. "Ellie, we'll figure something out." She spoke, the Xman in her was reawakened for this emergency and she'd figure something out. She could take Ellie and run if she needed to, but she'd try to save these people first. She'd do what she didn't do for the Hellions. "Can you come over tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Ellie sounded a little in shock. "Tomorrow. You work."

"I'd call in Ellie. You're more important. This is more important."

"Things are getting worse. What if there is no tomorrow?"

"There will be." Raven spoke softly. Irene always had warning of these things. God dammit, why did Irene have to be dead, Raven really needed her now.

"How do you know?"

"I have another precog friend and she hasn't told me to leave." Raven whispered. Irene would know where she was, wouldn't she? Irene said she'd write for years, and those years weren't up yet.


	30. Hellfire 2 Part 11

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven didn't manage to sleep at all. The alarm went off in her darkened bedroom and she just rolled out of bed, grateful for the end of the night. She dressed, double checked her bag for everything she wanted to bring, and slipped out the door.

It took effort to think about the painting and what she was going to work on this morning. It would be the third morning she'd spent with Emma, and she didn't dread it like she had in the beginning. She didn't look forward to it in any way, but Raven was relatively sure that she'd be leaving unharmed now. She didn't wonder about that. Now Emma, on the other hand, might just get injured one of these times.

The doorman didn't even stop her when Raven walked up to the building, he just waved her past. She didn't know how she felt about that. She didn't want to be such a regular part of Emma's life that she was expected. She didn't want to be a part of that woman's life at all.

She pushed the button for the elevator and stared at the closed doors. Ellie was going to come to her today and Raven had to find an answer, to solve this problem. She didn't want to run, which was one solution to the problem, to take the people she cared about and run. This country, with all its flaws, was still the safest one she'd found. Her eyes glowed openly and no one tried to kill her for it. Ellie had to be wrong. She was young, inexperienced, she could make a mistake. Raven sighed and stepped into the elevator when it opened. She really wanted to believe that, but the nervous shaky feeling inside of her wouldn't let it go.

Emma opened the door wearing a robe and Raven eyed the woman suspiciously for a moment. "I slept in." Emma moved into the apartment, leaving Raven to close the door. "Give me a few minutes and I'll be ready."

"I'll just set up." Raven looked at the short robe and blinked just a little as Emma reached up in a cupboard to pull some of her coffee down. The woman's robe almost rose up a bit too high. Raven turned and busied herself with pulling out her paints and brushes.

"Waking up at this hour doesn't get any easier with practice." Emma said while Raven could hear the woman pouring the water into the coffee maker. "Of course, you dear take it to a new level." Emma's voice seemed closer and Raven looked up to see Emma staring at her. "You move like you haven't slept in years. Problems?" The blonde actually asked. Raven just stared at her for a moment, her mind just a little too fuzzy to come up with a quick response.

"Just change. I want to get this damned painting over with." Raven turned back to her canvas and took in the way the subject, which was Emma, was nearly done. The background was barely filled in, only in places where Emma touched it.

"Grumpy, but then again you always are grumpy. Perhaps nothing has changed." The sounds of the coffee grinder filled the room as Emma returned her attention to her task.

Emma was Ellie's teacher, Raven thought for a moment and stared at the paints she'd set out for the day. God, she hated this, but this was more important than Raven and Emma's past. "Ellie told me something last night." Raven spoke while turning around to face Emma again.

"Oh, so she did tell you." Emma pulled out two coffee cups, again having to stretch and Raven shook her head. The woman really needed to buy a longer robe. That one did nothing to protect the woman's nonexistent modesty. "The end of the world." Emma just shook her head, as if the girl had said something truly stupid. "I'm sorry, but even I am not that unlucky."

Raven ground her teeth for a moment. Her words were tense and slow. "Ellie said everyone was going to die."

"And the last time I checked this city wasn't named Pompeii. We don't even have a volcano, and while I don't particularly like the man, Magneto is the most powerful mutant in the world. There are few that would tempt fate by going against him now."

"He isn't a god." Raven sighed. "And Ellie is pretty powerful herself."

"She's still a child learning her powers."

"She may be learning telepathy, but her precog abilities are already good." Raven looked toward the coffee pot, her eyes seeing her first meeting with Ellie. "She knew my real name was Christine right away. She knew I'd get the job at the gym. She's good Emma, really good." And why didn't Emma know this?

"There is a big difference between predicting a job opening and a huge unnamed disaster. She has few details and I'm inclined to think it's nightmares." Emma really didn't care. Raven stared at her, somehow still managing to be shocked by the woman and her ability to be in denial. There would be no help here. Raven turned back to her painting, dismissing Emma from her attention, rather than go into a rant. What did she expect the blonde to help? That was ridiculous.

Raven took the cup of coffee Emma offered her and took a careful sip of the hot drink as she stared out the window at the sun just starting to peek over the water. "I'll work on the background while you get ready."

"You do that." Emma took her own cup and sipped at it when Raven looked over at her. "Would you mind if I watched you paint from here for a little bit?"

"Fine, whatever." Raven muttered and started to mix her paints. She wanted to be ready to capture the waters outside of the window once the sun broke free of the horizon. The ocean was a very intriguing subject for Raven, so intriguing that she'd been spending a lot of time staring at it lately. Once the sun did rise Raven forgot she had an audience completely.

Raven was working on creating the glint of the sun on the waters and was very focused as she used her small brush. Emma's voice almost startled her and Raven glanced over to see the blonde dressed in white pants and a halter top. It showed off the muscle definition in her arms. "I noticed you were a bit absorbed in your work, so I just got ready for work. I have a meeting in a half hour anyhow." Emma smiled just a little and glanced at the canvas. "You are so intense when you paint." The woman moved closer and looked at the canvas. Raven was a little embarrassed at how she'd forgotten Emma was there. Emma's subtle perfume was the same she used to wear, Raven thought distractedly as the telepath studied the canvas. "You have real talent Raven." The blonde's hand rested on Raven's back as Emma looked at her work and Raven's back tensed up instantly.

"Don't touch me." Her voice was cold.

Emma took a step back and stared at Raven, her smile quickly gone. "I was going to leave, but if you wanted you could stay and paint for a while." Emma crossed her arms in front of her. "I'll leave the key with you so you can lock up when you go." Raven felt a bit of apprehension at being left in Emma's place alone. It hinted to a level of trust that just wasn't there. "I can pick it up when I work out."

"I'm not working today." Raven glanced down at the key Emma was holding out for her. Access to this place without Emma there would mean Raven could finish this painting up faster, she realized suddenly and reached out to take the key. "Can I drop it off at your work?" She could finish the window view which would really speed up her work. The sun should be in view a while longer.

"My classroom is 436. Just bring it right in." Emma smiled and Raven could feel the trap in it, but pocketed the key anyhow.

"What are you planning?" She just asked, rather than worry.

"I teach telepathy for the first two periods of the day and if you could drop by I could show my students an example of an unreadable." Raven felt the brush of a mind against her shield, a touch she hadn't felt since Christy and her escaped that hellhole. "It is a rare power to be completely unreadable. Even Christy wasn't as shielded as you are."

"She could have been." Raven's eyes fell from Emma's just a little as she remembered the one time Christy had lowered that shield, the reason Emma would say Christy's shield was different.

"You know I tried don't you?" Emma spoke very quietly. "I kept trying to pull two of you out of there but she was the only one that I could."

"I don't want to talk about this." Raven's hand gripped at the paintbrush so tightly it wouldn't surprise her if it broke. "Never, and never with you."

"And who else could even begin to understand?" Emma asked and Raven raised her head and glared at her, hatred evident on her face. "Fine, bring me the keys before nine." Emma stepped back and grabbed a coat as she walked toward the door. "But you need to realize that glaring and snipping at me isn't very attractive. I'm actually willing to help you Raven. That was the mistake I made the first time, not helping, and I won't make that mistake again."

"I don't want your help." Raven watched the telepath grab her purse.

"Well," Emma's smile was cold. "It's a good thing I'm not the type to ask permission then isn't it?" Raven's jaw dropped, stunned as she heard those words. Emma had the front door opened before Raven could actually speak.

"You fucking bitch."

"Nine O'clock Raven." Emma didn't even look at her. "Or I'll be dropping by your place to visit. I know you don't want that."

Raven stared after the woman and almost marched out of the apartment herself, just leaving her painting half done, but Emma would show up at her place if she tried to avoid her and Ellie needed Raven to stick around right now. Raven wanted to scream her frustration, but instead she grabbed her coffee cup and threw it into the kitchen, hearing it shatter.

She tried. She put in a serious effort, but it wasn't an hour until she gave up. Emma pissed her off too much and her painting now would ruin rather than finish this work. Raven kicked the remains of the coffee cup out of her way as she stepped into the kitchen to clean up. If it bounced off the wall and shattered more, well, it would be more shards that could hopefully find their way into Emma's bare feet, Raven thought viciously.

Fifteen minutes later Raven had her hand in her pocket, gripping that damned key in her fist, as she walked toward the High School. She could see a few students straggling in the same direction, and Raven took a few breaths to try and calm down as she looked at them. Marching into the school and yelling at Emma would be nice, if Raven could guarantee that Emma wouldn't turn it around and completely humiliate Raven, but she would. If Raven went in there for battle, Emma would completely disembowel her verbally and Raven knew it. There was no way Raven wanted witnesses to that. No, Raven would wait and the next time she had Emma alone, Raven's thoughts became violent as she fantasized about walking into Emma's apartment and slamming that woman up against a wall hard enough to stun her into silence. Raven took the stairs two at a time as her mind filled in Emma's shocked expression as Raven slammed her into the wall again. Raven's breathing was a little faster as she ran her mental tape faster, seeing Emma fall to her knees, with Raven's fist tangled in her hair, hurting her. Raven shoved the high school doors opened and moved toward the elevator.

It was the same fantasy she'd had a few times already, but never so vividly.

The elevator was filled with a few stragglers wanting to go to class and Raven did her best to calm down as she stood still waiting for the right floor.

She was still marching a little too fast down the hall when she heard it, Ellie's voice coming from a classroom. Raven slowed down as she approached room 436, suddenly unsure. She hadn't even considered that Ellie would be in there. She didn't want to worry Ellie, the girl had enough worries right now. Raven took a moment to take a deep breath as she listened to her friend talk.

"Ms. Frost, you think everything is just a joke." Ellie sounded irritated with her teacher. Raven smiled just a little at Ellie taking Emma to task and Raven moved to be able to look in the door to see this. "But I had the same 'nightmare' fifty times last night." The amusement left Raven's face and she stepped into the room. A few students looked over at her but Emma and Ellie were too busy looking at each other. "And I'm having it right now." Ellie turned to look at Raven and her eyes were so sad. Her voice softened. "Don't scream in small spaces Raven. I'm so sorry. I'm having that dream right now."

"Ellie." Raven ignored Emma's slight surprise at her being there now and the kids looking at her and Ellie.

"Everybody's gonna die," Raven felt a jolt from her powers and her eyes widened. She started forward quickly as the jolt kept hitting her. The explosion tossed Raven backwards, her eyes seeing glass flying through the room and she could see a hand on the floor as she hit the wall. Her vision went dark and Raven fought it as hard as she could. Ellie needed her, her mind screamed, but she didn't.

The whimpers pulled her out of the darkness.

"Not again, not again. Not again."

"My hands."

"Raven, pull it in." Ellie's raspy voice sounded strained, but it called to Raven. "use your powers, please. Please, Raven use your powers." Raven was already being bombarded by death, but she lowered her shields just moments before blackness hit her again.

There was a soft glow to the room. Raven opened her eyes and wished she could just wake up from the nightmare. Christy was broken in front of her, dried blood on the ground beside her. Raven looked away and saw arms, legs, scattered around the room. She looked back and stared at Christy. No. Raven's eyebrows drew together as she took in subtle details in the strange glow of the room. The hair was too long, and Christy's body looked like it was just skin, a suit dropped after being worn. An insane giggle escaped her lips as she stared. A Christy suit, some random movie quote ran through her mind. Movie. She'd seen that movie with Terrance. Will Smith was cool.

Waves of death continued to batter at Raven's already fragile mind and she shook with each one.

"No, oh god no." A whispered plea drew Raven's eyes slowly to the left and she stared blankly at the glistening woman staring with horror at the room. The beams of the building pinned the woman to the wall, unable to move. "No, no, no." Emma sounded so quiet. Raven turned slowly and looked at the rest of the room.

Ellie lay in the middle of the room, draped over the remains of desks and Raven took a shaky step toward her, falling slowly to her knees beside the girl, but she didn't touch. She just stared blankly at the large pieces of glass and blood. No. Emma's whimpers only served to increase Raven's panic and she whimpered as she lowered her head onto Ellie's chest, being careful to not touch the glass.

"No." Raven muttered. "No." She leaned back and opened her mouth, but she stopped and shook violently as she fought the urge to scream out her denial. Death hit her, so much death.

What the hell was happening?

Ellie took in a rasping breath and Raven's eyes widened in shock. Alive. It forced Raven to stop staring and to reach up to touch Ellie's throat. Alive. Maybe. Raven looked at the blood under Ellie and felt real fear threaten to leave her in a crying ball.

"Raven, is that you?" Emma's voice sounded just as stunned as Raven was. Raven turned to look at Emma, taking in the shimmer to Emma's skin. "Kneeling, you kneel like that, but you're dead." Raven saw Emma glance over at the wall where Raven could see a body suit body. Raven giggled again at the thought, knowing it wasn't funny but unable to control herself. Raven looked down at her own arm and noticed the white glow. Her giggles stopped as she held up her arm and stared.

"Bright lady." She whispered so quietly she barely heard it herself as Ellie's other vision came true. The bright lady, Raven looked over at the shimmer on Emma's skin, and the shiny one. Raven looked around at the bodies and the blood and realized that she was the only light in the room. Raven started to giggle again, but it took just seconds to turn into racking sobs. Her body shook with the effort to do it all silently.

……………

"Raven." Emma's voice called to her and Raven just curled up into herself more. "Raven." Emma's voice was more commanding. "Ellie is calling for you."

"Ellie?" Her voice was a raspy whisper and Raven lifted her head to look toward the girl. Ellie's hand was moving just a little, reaching toward Raven. Raven crawled over broken wood and other things she refused to notice to kneel beside Ellie again. "Ellie." She reached a shaking hand out to touch the girl.

"Raven," Ellie had tears in her eyes. "I'm scared." And it felt like water had been dropped over Raven's body. She forced herself to look at the girl as if there were no shards sticking out of her. The feel of Ellie's blood on the floor was ignored as Raven struggled to pull herself together.

"I'm here." She whispered and leaned down to lightly brush her lips over Ellie's. "I won't leave you."

"You look so different." Ellie touched Raven's hand. "So bright." Her voice was soft, quiet, sad.

"Glass," Ellie looked around at the glass on the ground near her, her tone was one of someone piecing together a mystery. Raven could still feel death hitting her and she tried, she really tried to block it out, but her shield couldn't do it. Her body shook as she gently brushed some hair out of Ellie's face.

"Raven," Emma's voice seemed so loud in the room and Raven felt like she was being shaken out of a dream. "Stop staring and do something. If you can't, get over here and help me."

Raven stared at Ellie helplessly. She knew no one would be coming to help them. She could feel everyone else dying, and there was no way, no way, to save this girl that meant so much to her.

"Raven." Emma's voice became firm, commanding. "Come." Raven slowly turned her head to look at the wall that Emma had been pinned to. "Come." Emma said again.

Raven's mouth opened for a moment, but no words came to her. She stared at Emma blankly.

"Raven, don't make me punish you." Emma spoke with a hint of cruelty and flashes of memories played in Raven's mind. Her body slowly started to move, to stand. "That's it, come here."

Raven moved to stand in front of Emma and looked down, before realizing what she was doing and then Raven looked up into Emma's eyes. "I'm not a slave." Her voice was soft but firm.

"No, but you are standing around helplessly." Emma glanced at the beam holding her down. Her voice softened and became a whisper, while Emma glanced toward Ellie. "You have to be brave for her, like you were for Christy. You can do it." Emma struggled against the weight pinning her to reach out a hand to touch Raven's skin. It caused beams of light to litter the walls, being reflected off of Emma. Raven just blinked at the touch. "See if you can stop the bleeding."

Raven nodded and glanced at the beam holding Emma still. The weight of it should have crushed the blondes chest, killed her. She didn't bother commenting on it as she turned around and took a deep breath. It felt like she hadn't been breathing until that moment, and the taste of blood in the air was thick. Raven glanced around at bodies in the corners, piled in the back, and she could see someone twitching. God, they weren't all dead yet. She moved toward the boy and could see his blank eyes, but he was breathing and clutching is hands to his body with his stumps of arms as if they would save him. His body was in parts and he held them together to him like they were a teddy bear.

"Oh god, sweetheart." She whispered and started to kneel beside him, but she heard Ellie cough and it drew her attention back to Ellie. She couldn't do this alone. She couldn't keep them both company while they died.

Ellie's wounds weren't anything Raven could fix. She couldn't remove the glass or it might kill her, and she couldn't bandage the bleeding with the glass there. There really was nothing she could do but try and make Ellie as comfortable as possible. Raven could see a jacket on the floor and she picked it up, folding it so the bloody side was down, and put it gently under Ellie's head. Ellie flinched at the movement so Raven didn't try to do anything more. She had to stop herself from staring or looking too hard so she didn't fall back into doing nothing. "I'm here." She caressed Ellie's hair again. "You won't be alone."

"Raven," Ellie sounded so tired.

"I need to help the boy, but I'm still right here." She didn't want to move from Ellie's side, but she could do something for him.

"Emma." Raven muttered while moving towards Emma. "I need help." She stared at the blonde willing the woman to be strong enough to slip out of her prison.

"I'll help you as much as I can," Emma tried to shift her position, but couldn't "but you have to do it, I can't move." It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but Raven couldn't see a way around it. Not yet. "You need to stop the bleeding as much as you can."

Raven nodded and took another deep breath. Visions of her short life as a nurse's aide filled her head and she started to look around for something to stop the boy's bleeding. With him it would be easier, since it was his arms. She felt sickened as she removed a belt from a torso in the corner of the room, feeling the dead flesh, but she took it and moved to the boy. "Sweetheart." She whispered softly as she moved to touch one of his ruined arms.

He flinched and he screamed as she tightened the belt, but she didn't stop until the bleeding slowed. He'd passed out by that point. That was one arm, and his other wasn't any better.

"I have a belt." Emma called out as Raven looked around the room for another body with a belt. Raven glanced at the pants in question, Emma's skin tight white pants and moved closer.

"Those pants are tight enough." She muttered as she hesitantly moved her hands closer to that belt. Her hand brushed up against shiny hardened skin as she tried to unfasten Emma's belt. Raven finally got the belt unfastened. It took a lot of work since there was no give in Emma's skin anymore, Raven had been forced to rip it a little to get it loose. Emma was like a moving statue. The white belt was easy to pull through the pants and was soon in her hand. Raven just stared at Emma for a moment with it in her hand.

"Go." Emma motioned with her head toward the other side of the room.

His blood looked very red on the white belt and the size of the puddle of blood under him worried her, but Raven had slowed it down. Hopefully it would help. With him unconscious and the bleeding stopped Raven finally felt she could move back to Ellie's side.

"See, still here." Raven spoke gently as she looked down into Ellie's face.

"I'm cold." Ellie spoke and Raven felt herself panicking a little. That wasn't a good sign.

"I don't have a blanket." Raven started to look around the room again, her eyes only skimming over bodies, but looking for clothes or anything she could use. Robbing the dead must be built into her genes, Raven thought distractedly as she looked at and dismissed some dead girl's jacket. It was too small and still wrapped around the girl.

"I couldn't stop it Raven. No one could." Ellie's eyes were pleading and pained. "Sometimes its just Destiny and every road leads to hell."

"I should have taken you out of here this morning on the first boat out." Raven's voice cracked and the light from her body flared a bit, before calming back down.

"It wouldn't have been enough. The first boat out wouldn't have left yet." Ellie's eyes softened and the girl just stared at her. Her eyes started to unfocus in a scary way, making it seem like Ellie was losing the battle.

Raven stared back, and decided that there was no time like now. "I love you."

"Really?" Ellie sounded so insecure and young. It broke Raven's heart. Raven leaned down slowly and kissed Ellie so softly on the lips.

"If I were ten years younger, you'd already be my girlfriend." If her life were different, Raven really could have seen a future with a girl like Ellie.

"You aren't lying?" Ellie asked and her eyes focused on Raven again. She was more there.

"No." Raven's body shook as she fought the urge to cry. "I tend to fall for strong women, and you're very strong." Part of her mind registered the sound of Emma struggling to free herself, or that the struggles were getting more frantic. She chose to ignore it.

"You kiss really nice." Ellie whispered and her eyes closed. Raven felt herself panicking, but she stayed still and waited. She didn't feel a nearby death just yet.

"So do you." Raven whispered to Ellie, not sure Ellie was hearing anything anymore. A loud crash interrupted her helpless staring and Raven glanced up to see Emma bending at the waist trying to catch her breath and the beam that had held her down on the ground. Dust filled the air, well more than had been there before.

"Raven," Ellie's voice was so quiet Raven leaned closer and noticed the girl's eyes open again. Raven's shaky hand moved to caress Ellie's hair and it felt like her heart was burning in pain. "I'm not afraid." Ellie whispered weakly and someone was crying softly behind her but Raven ignored it. Ellie's head tilted just a little, and then her eyes unfocused. Raven felt the moment she lost her friend and her own body was racked in shaking as she tried to not scream, tried so hard to keep the pain inside.

Raven felt the gentle touch to her shoulder as she cried into Ellie's shirt and when she didn't respond she felt herself being pulled away and the hard unyielding body of the blonde enveloped her in a hug. "Someone is going to dig us out." Emma whispered and Raven almost pulled away from her, almost told Emma how wrong she was, but there was something so vulnerable in the telepaths voice as she attempted to comfort Raven.

"Can you hear anyone?" Raven whispered. The feel of death was fading, just a few trickled in now, but so much had hit her that Raven really didn't know if anyone else had survived. She doubted anyone out there was doing anything other than dying.

"My telepathy is on the blink." Emma sounded bitter and tired. "But this is a school. Someone has to try and get to us." Raven leaned her head onto Emma's stone hard shoulder and sighed. Emma really didn't know how bad it really was. "Fredrick is not doing so well, they better hurry or we're going to lose another one."

Raven stayed quiet and didn't volunteer any information. She just sighed and stayed leaning against Emma, lost in her own thoughts. A small part of her mind protested the proximity to the White Queen, but Raven couldn't sit there staring down at Ellie's body and say that she had any energy left to fight. At least she wasn't alone, Raven hated being alone. If they were going to die here, her eyes drifted over to what she now realized had been her body, she'd already died here in a way. She wasn't like Christy though; Christy never talked about glowing like this.

It was Emma that ended the closeness by getting up slowly and checking on the boy, Fredrick, again. "He's still alive." Raven spoke as she noticed Emma checking his pulse.

"Oh, that's your power isn't it?" Emma glanced at her, and then back down at the boy. Emma's frustrated pain was clear on her face as she stared at him. "Can you," Emma looked toward her. "I need light. I want to check on him."

Raven's mind took a moment before she remembered why Emma would be bothering her about that. Raven got up slowly and moved closer, so that the light that made up her body would shine on what Emma needed it to. She didn't bother talking, she just moved closer and stood still, her own arms wrapped around herself, while Emma worked on seeing if Fredrick's bleeding was under control. He looked too pale and wasn't waking up. Raven stared into his face, taking in the youth and pain, and knew it wouldn't be long.

Emma caressed his forehead and the telepath's hands shook as she did it. "Just hang on Fredrick. Help is on the way, you just need to hold on." Emma spoke softly, soothingly, and Raven looked away towards Ellie feeling bad about the lie Emma didn't know she was telling. Raven knew she should tell Emma, but maybe it would be best to wait until the boy died before saying it. She didn't know.

She'd kept information from Emma before, Raven thought guiltily. "Emma." Her voice was a whisper, she had to keep it a whisper or the power she felt swirling in her body might call a portal.

"What is it?" Emma barely glanced at her, as she was too focused on checking Fredrick's breathing.

"No one is going to save us. They all died."

"Don't be so pessimistic dear." Emma glared at her and Raven held her arms out to her sides to illustrate her glowing body.

"I would know. It's what I am, a giant death detector and I was hit with so much, I don't think anyone is out there." She glanced at Ellie. "She told you, she knew. Ellie had to live with knowing." Her voice shook a little in horror and pain.

"No." Emma's voice was a commanding clip and then the teacher turned to her last living student in the class. "No." Raven didn't bother to argue it, knowing a desperate denial when she heard it and knowing that in another minute Emma would believe. The light from Raven's body light up the room, leaving shadows and darkness that made it feel like a tomb and Raven looked at all the dead already there. This was a tomb.

Raven had no idea how long she stood still, near the feet of the dying boy, so that Emma could see him. At some point that was the only reason she stood there, for Emma, and Raven didn't begrudge the woman this even as the power flowing in her body made it so hard to stand still. She swore she felt an urge, a physical need, to scream and let some of the power out. It felt like needing to go to the bathroom desperately, or needing to sneeze, something you knew was something you might be able to delay, but not for long. It started to really worry her, but she stayed quiet and tried not to cry when she heard the motherly soothing words Emma spoke to the boy. When she felt his death Raven took a step closer and hesitantly put her hand on Emma's shoulder. Emma seemed to sag under the weight of her hand, and Raven felt some shuddering, but heard no more tears. They sat like that for a little longer, still not talking.

Emma really did love her students. Her attitude may cover it but she did and Raven didn't know what to say, how to make it hurt less, because there was nothing that would.

"I don't want to die in here." Emma finally spoke, and her body sat up straight. Raven took her hand back and took a step back as she watched the body language of the woman switch to something more like the White Queen. "I don't think you want to either."

Raven glanced toward her body for a moment then looked back at Emma. "No, not really."

"If no one is going to dig us out, we need to do it ourselves." Emma stood up and glanced around the room, her shoulders slumping a little again. "That light you have is a mixed blessing. There are some things I would have preferred to have never seen, but the thought of being in the dark here isn't pleasant either."

Raven opened her mouth to just agree, when she stopped mid first word and then started again. "I can't hold this much power forever."

"So we'll be in the dark?"

"No, I'm like a bomb waiting to go off." Raven whispered it feeling a little guilty about yet another problem they had to face, because she was going to lose the battle eventually and she knew it.

"Well, that's just lovely." Emma gave a disgusted sigh.

……………….

Time really didn't mean anything. Raven moved mechanically, pulling wood, rock, drywall and other things away from the door and piling it behind them. Emma worked just as hard next to her as they worked in one direction, hoping that they'd run into another pocket, perhaps other people in the school that had survived that would be able to help them dig. The more they worked the more strange it felt that Emma's classroom had survived at all, because it seemed like nothing else had. It felt like they were buried in the only room the school had, under who knows how much rubble.

Raven was walking back to grab more when she lost her balance. Before she could fall she felt Emma's hand wrapped around her arm. "I'd hate for you to break your neck now." Emma spoke as she helped Raven regain her balance. Raven just stared at her for a moment, then back at the ground littered with far too much.

"Thanks." She whispered before moving to get back to work. They wanted to clear a way to the elevators and see if the shaft was clear. She worked quietly while Emma's words played in her mind. Break her neck. Could she even do that anymore? Christy couldn't. Raven took a break and stared at her arms again, at the swirl of light.

"Everything okay or are you about to blow?" Emma moved closer to her and the shimmer off of the blonde made Raven's light much more festive. Raven gave her a weak smile, as she considered that strange thought.

Her smile faded a little before she spoke. "Emma," Her voice was low and quiet and serious. "I, I don't want you dead." Ellie's words about her killing the woman haunted her. "Maybe we should split up."

Emma stood a little taller as she faced Raven, and Raven saw a hint of a smile on her lips. "Well, who would have thought after all the sniping and growling, you actually like me."

"No," Raven spoke slowly, "I just don't want you dead."

"Well, that's still progress." Emma leaned against the wall and crossed her arms in front of her as she seemed to study Raven. Raven fidgeted under the stare for a moment. "Raven," The telepath looked very serious, "I'm getting you out of here. I can't do that if we split up."

"It's getting hard."

"I'm getting you out of here. Not everyone is going to die, not you." Emma looked away. "You hold on as long as you can, and if you can't hold on any more, well I can't blame you for trying. Look on the bright side, you'll at least take one of us out." Her voice became wry, "Well another one. You did kill that one man, but I'm sure you must have been aiming at Sebastian."

Raven's eyes fell to the floor as she considered that. "You aren't one I would have wanted to kill. There are a lot of people I want dead, but not you." She was going to kill Emma, she was sure of it, and it didn't sit well with her.

Emma's voice grew cold, "Yes, well we all have a list don't we?" Emma moved to start working again. "I'm sorry your list is so large and that I contributed to it."

"I'm sorry about your students." Raven swallowed hard, thinking of more than the ones in the classroom.

"Yes, well, that is bad luck isn't it?" Emma's body shuddered for a moment before her back went rigid again. "I'm almost getting used to this."

"Yes." Raven spoke softly and moved closer to Emma, starting to help her with something a bit heavier. "And I'm sorry."

"It isn't like you didn't lose anything precious today." Emma tugged violently on the large piece of cement.

"Like you said, I'm getting used to it." Raven felt bitter. "Everyone leaves me in one way or another. It's my curse."

"And I thought we had so little in common." Emma tugged again and they got the cement loose, tossing it onto the ground. Raven moved to shove it to the side so they could continue to work. They worked in silence for a while longer, until Raven couldn't be silent any longer. A squeak escaped her and the lights swirled a little. Raven fought the urge to let the loosened power out and moved away from the work to slowly sink to the ground as she fought it.

"You can do this Raven. You can take this, control this. You're stronger than this." Emma moved closer, rather than further away. Raven tried to wave her away, but felt Emma's hand on her wrist. Raven couldn't risk talking right now, so she tried to push Emma away with one hand, but Emma didn't budge. "You are a very strong woman, strong willed, it's why you never broke and this won't break you either. I'm not worried, because I know that if you want to protect someone you will go through anything to do it and for some strange reason you're protecting me now." Raven gritted her teeth and fought the power back into submission, and had to acknowledge that Emma's words had helped. She nodded as she got it back into control and Emma just patted her arm and moved to go back to work. "Did you need a break? You've more than earned one."

Raven decided she needed to give up talking altogether now, so she just nodded and sat still as she heard Emma work for a while. She stretched an arm out to the side and paid attention to how she was lighting Emma's work, rather than think about how often her efforts to protect people ended badly.

She watched Emma bend and grapple with things, and thought about how the White Queen at least wasn't afraid of real work. There were worse people to be trapped with, Raven allowed the thought, as she watched Emma struggle under the weight of something, before getting up to help the blonde with it. Someone who panicked would be worse. Someone Raven was willing to panic over was worse, she knew that. Sometimes maybe an enemy is just what you need, she shook her head at her own strange thoughts and moved to work on the small opening they had developing. It was probably only a small gap in the rubble, but every air pocket like this saved them time.

"Raven?" Emma's words broke the silence they worked in again. Raven looked up and noticed the woman waving her over. "I can't feel much. My skin," Emma held up a hand and stared at it, looking a little baffled by it. "Can you put your hand in the hole and see if you feel air moving. I thought maybe, but I can't tell." Raven glanced at a dark hole that had broken in the area Emma had been working on. She nodded and moved to kneel by it, her hand moved into the opening, but it was small so there was no way to see much in the darkness around it. A light flutter on her hand made Raven smile. This hole lead to something. "Did we find the shaft?" Emma asked and Raven turned to answer, but then stopped herself. She shrugged in an exaggerated way and Emma gave her a strange look for a moment. "Do you feel air?" To that Raven could nod. "You're afraid to talk. I thought maybe…" Emma's words trailed off. "That bad?" Raven nodded yes again. "Okay, well lets clear this and see if we can climb up." They started to work on widening the hole and it was dark on the other side. Once it was wide enough Raven stood staring at it. One of them had to go through, and Emma wouldn't be able to see if she did it, but she'd have to leave Emma in the dark to go herself. Sometimes it really sucked to be the one with the useful power, not something she'd ever considered before. She'd never once been that one. Crawling into a darkened hole didn't bother her as much as it would Storm but she really didn't like it.

When Raven got in to take a look she felt disoriented. It took her a moment to realize she wasn't tilted, the shaft was. It was twisted and warped, but Raven could see it still angled up. Raven figured that up had to be good. "Raven?" Emma's voice called out from the behind her and Raven backed out, crawling, to return to Emma's side. She couldn't crawl in all the way, because there was a drop. Her mind played with how they'd manage to climb up as she got out and turned to see the blonde.

It would have been nice to be able to talk and tell Emma what she saw. It would have been helpful to be able to plan. Raven did all she could and gave Emma a thumbs up and knew that Emma would see the problems when she got in there. The telepath gave her a small smile. Raven pointed at herself and the hole, trying to tell Emma that she had to go in first. If Emma went in there in the dark she wouldn't be able to see well enough to get out of Raven's way.

Fifteen minutes later Raven was climbing up slowly. A piece of rock dislodged under her foot and Raven looked down to see it bounce off of Emma. "That's three." Emma grumbled and Raven gave her a guilty smile. "Bet you love being first." There was no way to respond to that, so Raven just focused on her climb again. They'd almost reached as high as the shaft went, and hopefully they'd find something there. She tried to envision what had happened to the building that would leave a classroom semi intact and this shaft warped and clearly had fallen onto its side a bit.

When she couldn't go up further, Raven braced herself against the wall and waited. There were the doors to the top floor in front of her, but they were closed and there was no telling what was on the other side. She stared at it apprehensively, imagining a scene like the classroom they'd escaped from.

It was her body that made the decision for her. Raven felt the urge again, and she almost fell from her perch as she curled in on herself shaking with her effort to hold it back. Before Emma could finish her climb Raven shoved her fingers in between the doors and shoved. Rocks started to fall and Emma made some noise in alarm, but Raven growled silently and pushed harder. She needed out now. "Wait." Emma yelled at her, but Raven only stopped long enough for Emma to get out of the way of things that fell through the slowly growing opening. A squeak escaped her lips and the light around them flared. Out. Out now, Raven's mind muttered in a panic as she pushed harder and the mess falling in nearly knocked her down, but she gripped the door harder. Out. She started to smell fire and dust, and sea air. A light not of her own making crept into the shaft and Raven launched herself at it, digging at the small hole to make it larger and whimpering as the effort to not scream grew painful.

"A live one." Someone screamed. "We've got a live one." Raven was shoveling her way through quickly, but the mess seemed to keep filling the opening she was trying to make. Suddenly an arm darted into the hole towards her and started to pull bricks away. "Hold on Darlin' I'll get you out." A deeper male voice spoke and Raven stared in shock as the arm came back with three sharp knives coming out of the man's knuckles, slicing away at a twisted pipe in her way. Logan, her mind stared at his arm in shock as the hole opened up and her own arm was grabbed as he pulled her up.

Once she was clear she just stared at the rubble, the disaster that had been her city, and took a shaky step, then another in her attempt to get away. "Darlin' you okay?" She turned to see him looking at her, but there was no recognition there. She could seem him scenting the air and turning back to the hole, where a shiny arm was reaching up. As Logan moved to grab that arm Raven moved, stumbled, across the ruins of the high school toward the water, her voice only held back by her gritted teeth as she fell. Some people looked her way a few started to move, but Raven just moved faster.

Her scream was torn from her pain and amplified by power. A loud thunderous roar answered her and Raven fell to her knees as a swirling disk of light grew in front of her, growing, growing, to a size she and any bus could pass through. Tentacles of the portal lashed around angrily, knocking against rubble and sand.

"Stand back." Another familiar voice yelled out and Raven just slumped her shoulders as she knelt in front of it, Jean coming up behind her.

"She isn't a threat." Emma yelled out and Raven slowly raised her head to look over at where the woman was making her way down to her. "She's been holding that in as long as she could." Raven's eyes caught the men in some sort of radiation gear staring at her then, and the gun aimed at her. "She is not a threat. Put your gun down." Emma commanded him.

"Oh my god, it's a sentinel." The man with the gun turned toward Emma, but a wave of Jean's hand had his gun floating away from him. Raven just stared at the scene from a new eye she'd never seen with before, she could actually SEE out of the portal, see what happened behind her.

"She's one of us." Jean's voice was a bit cold, but it softened when Emma fell to her own knees, exhausted looking from their climb and everything else. "Emma, what happened to you? Your skin?"

"It grew hard." Was all Emma said and then Raven could see Emma looking at her back. Raven stared into the portal and could see herself, from it. She took in her wild hair and pale, nearly glowing skin, but it wasn't nearly as bright in the daylight or it had faded as she used the power she'd been storing. She took in pained eyes and her defeated posture, before she noticed Jean walking up behind her with a compassionate expression on her face.

"And your friend?"

Raven turned her head to look at Emma, her glowing eyes pleading for Emma to not say anything. "If you can find a way out of this, go ahead, but I don't see it." Emma spoke directly to her and Raven turned toward her portal again to stare at it. Christy's portal had been smaller and less violent. Raven sighed as she willed it to close. Her tension, her need, faded with its creation and now she was just so very tired.

"Are you okay?" Jean was right next to her and Raven bowed her head down as tears came to her eyes. She loved Jean like a sister.

"I crawled out of death." Raven whispered and looked over the water, glistening with the sun. "I crawled out of me." Jean looked a little nervous with her crazy sounding words, so Raven looked away from her again. Irene had told her she could stop running now, but it wasn't that so much as she had nothing left in her so she could run.

"Are you hurt." Jean reached out and Raven looked up to see someone talking with Emma, but Emma's eyes stayed on her, clearly waiting for the moment her teammate noticed who she was talking to. With little else to do Raven finally faced Jean completely and looked into her eyes. She watched Jean's green eyes widen a little and could see the moment she was recognized. "Raven?" Jean whispered in shock.

"Jean." Raven whispered again and swallowed hard.

"Oh my god." Jean glanced toward Logan and Hank, before moving to reach out and hesitantly touch Raven's hair. "Raven?"

…………………


	31. Hellfire 2 Part 12

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven stood still, her arms wrapped around her, as the people she used to live with closed in on her. She started to feel trapped and nervous as Hank and Scott came closer. Logan stood back a bit and Raven's eyes traveled to him, unaware of the pleading she had in them.

"What are you doing here?"

"Are you okay?"

"You're glowing, why?"

Words traveled to her, but Raven just turned to stare at the ocean, rather than look towards the remains of the school Ellie died in. "Death." She whispered and stared at the gentle waves and beautiful blue sky. "It hit us so fast no one could stop it." Ellie, her mind returned to Ellie's words. "But I didn't scream, not once." The other's words trailed off and Raven could hear footsteps coming closer. "That much death was too much, way too much." Her head dropped just a bit. "But I didn't scream." Her voice a little stronger, as she considered her one and only victory in this, she fulfilled Ellie's last wish and didn't scream. Emma was alive.

"No you didn't." Emma spoke softly while she walked up, joining the circle around Raven. Emma spoke as if she were talking to Fredrick, the boy who at least didn't die alone, but died none the less. "What was that thing?"

"Portal." Raven turned just enough to see Emma next to her. "It's what Christy made to get to this world, and what she made to get out. It went somewhere." Raven really had no idea where that one had gone, but nothing went through so it didn't really matter.

"We have to see if there are any more survivors." Scott spoke, with a hint of regret in his voice and Raven turned to look at him. He looked older, harder, than he used to be. "Raven," He moved forward just a little bit, "we'll talk later. Get some rest, get something to drink." Get out of the way, Raven's mind filled in for a bitter moment, but his brief touch of her arm belied that. "I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm not." Her voice stayed quiet, but grew cold. "But if I can walk it's enough isn't it. Doesn't matter how much it hurts, if I can soldier on. Who the hell did this to us?"

"Sentinels." Raven just stared around at the destruction in disbelief. Sentinels couldn't do this, hell an atomic bomb would have been a better answer to this mess. "We've never seen anything like it." He was answering her instead of running off, so Raven brought her eyes back to him.

"Yeah," She took a deep breath and turned to stare at the bones on the ground she hadn't noticed before. "You better see if anyone made it." She turned to stare back out at the water she'd been painting just that morning, having seen more than enough of the country itself. It felt familiar, standing out of the way while the real mutants worked, old emotional hurts opened to join the gapping painful oozing ones she already had.

Emma stayed with her, while the heroes ran to find what little life they could. Raven could feel the woman standing close, staring at the water with her. "You're still glowing." Emma spoke gently, but when Raven turned to look at her, Emma was still looking at the water.

"And you're still…" The automatic insult stopped, faded away, and Raven looked out at the burning boat she could see floating in the ocean, drifting, the owner most likely dead. "And you're still here." Raven whispered.

"I don't feel as much anymore." Emma turned to face Raven. "I can't help with the search because my telepathy is gone." It bothered Emma, Raven could see it.

"It isn't gone." Raven sighed and her rigid back relaxed just a bit. "It's just shut off. Thank god, you wouldn't have wanted to feel..." Her eyes trailed over the ruins again. "So much death, I still feel people dying. That's all they do, they just lay there dying." Her voice held accusation and bitterness. "They should just fucking get up and do something, not just lay there." She could hear her own insanity, recognized that she couldn't blame the people dying for what she was feeling, but it was still there. The anger was still there.

"I'm sure they want to." Emma's voice was soft, soothing. It made Raven feel uncomfortable, knowing she was being humored. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her mind. She didn't want to say anything else crazy today.

"I can only find the dying." Raven felt a tear of helplessness trail down her cheek as more deaths hit her. She wanted to help; she looked at the people in weird radiation suits, and only briefly worried about exposure to whatever it was they were worried about. She was more concerned with the way they were trying to find people buried out there.

"We can make that work." Emma waited just a moment, before turning to walk towards the nearest radiation suit man. Raven followed behind her. "It's better than just waiting here. I don't do helpless well." Emma admitted and Raven stayed quiet. They joined a small team and in very little time Raven was pointing her team out to where she felt something. Raven stood back as Hank joined them and helped to dig. When Emma started to help as well it dawned on Raven that she didn't have to stay out of it, that she could help in that as well. She moved to take the other end of the mess Emma was working on to help her pull it away.

"We've got a live one." One of the other men called out and Raven was almost run over as Hank moved to help them clear the last of it. Her lessons in staying out of the way reasserted themselves and Raven stepped back and let the others work, pulling a teenage boy out of the wreckage.

"Let's go." Emma reached out and took Raven's hand. "There anywhere else you feel something?" Hank was looking over the boy, checking his health as best he could in this situation.

"Um," Raven closed her eyes and tried to feel the deaths, to pinpoint direction again. "Over that way." She pointed down the street and started to walk over bones and dead toward where she'd just felt someone die. There was no guarantee that there would be any living there, but it was the only thing she had to go by. Emma walked with her to the base of another pile of rubble.

"My apartment." Emma spoke quietly and Raven turned around to see hints of what used to be on the street, to see Emma was right. It didn't look like Emma was going to get any of her stuff back.

"I was almost done with that painting." Raven sighed as she stared up at where the building should be but wasn't. She felt selfish thinking of that, or regretting that what had been a very good piece of art was gone.

……………..

If her landlord had called in sick to work that day, he might have lived, Raven thought as she lifted the last of her bags. Their home hadn't been touched at all, but she could see the smoke from the city even in the near dark. It still burned on the second day. They'd searched all day, all night and all day again after they'd gotten out of the school. There was little hope that they'd missed anyone at this point, all that could be saved were and now they were leaving.

Raven had loved living here. She stared out towards the city remembering the life she'd even considered not leaving at one point.

"Ready?" Jean moved up to her and rested a hand on her shoulder. Raven just nodded. It wasn't like she could stay; she had to go with them. The blackbird was on the street in front of the house, waiting.

As they took off Raven stared down at the city and when the high school came into view she whispered. "Goodbye Ellie. I really did love you." Logan turned to stare at her a moment and Raven turned further away from him and pulled her legs up to hug them to her as she cried quietly. She'd gotten very good at making very little noise, because she knew she still was holding more power than she was supposed to be able to.

Jean got up from her seat and moved to the empty seat next to Raven and reached out to touch her, clearly ready to comfort her. "Raven?"

"Some one she loved died in her arms." Emma spoke with little emotion in her voice, explaining Raven's pain in more detail when Raven didn't offer to. Raven looked over at her but didn't get past looking at how tightly Emma was clenching her fists. "We really couldn't do anything for her, or any of them." Raven's body shook with her pain. She'd repressed it during the search, did her best to just focus on the mission, but now it hit her hard. Emma got up and walked toward the bathroom, her fists still clenched hard. The woman couldn't let go of her image long enough to cry, Raven realized it and stared after Emma knowing that Emma didn't need anything but privacy in that room.

Jean petted her while Raven curled up on herself and cried, finally pulling Raven closer to hold her and Raven felt lost. Jean had done this for her before, so many years ago. It felt like several lifetimes and still no time had gone by. Once Raven was able to push her pain away again she pulled out of Jean's arms and turned back to the window to stare at the stars.

"Raven, do you want to talk?"

"I can't." Her voice cracked. "Not yet, I just can't."

"Okay." Jean was still looking at her, Raven could feel it. "You know I'm here if you need me."

"I know." Her voice was barely audible. Jean waited a little longer, while Raven willed her to go away. Sympathy made it hard to stop hurting and Raven wanted to go numb again. She had too much to deal with right now to let herself hurt like this. She was going back to New York, a place she really didn't want to go, and she had no say in it. Jean finally got the message and left, heading to the cockpit and Scott. Emma was still in the bathroom, but no one else seemed to notice that.

The quiet of the flight was eerie and still welcome. She didn't complain when Emma took the empty seat next to her. They didn't talk, and with Emma in that seat no one who did want to talk could take it. Raven once again was feeling a bit lost with the White Queen, unable to deny that the woman was looking out for her.

Raven rested her head on the window and closed her eyes to finally sleep. She'd been tired before the attack and had been in almost constant motion since then.

She woke up suddenly sitting up and the blanket someone had draped over her fell to the floor. Raven took a few deep breaths and reached out for the blanket, pulling it up over her again.

"You do this often. You don't even scream." Emma's voice was soft and Raven turned to see the White Queen laying semi sideways facing her, with a blanket over her as well.

The muscle in Raven's jaw tensed and she looked around to see the entire team, minus a pilot, asleep. They'd learned to take the opportunity when it came up because another emergency could happen at any time. Raven used to have trouble with that. "It isn't really…"

"any of my business. Yes I know." Emma's voice seemed to wave away the protest. "You were whispering in your sleep, you were begging for mercy from Selene. She never gives mercy."

"I know that." Her voice grew cold.

"I can't." Emma glanced around the plane herself. Her tone changing slightly with a change of topic. "Hard to get used to being without my telepathy. They look asleep to me." Emma's eyes returned to Raven. "I can't change the past Raven, only the future. If I could, I would go back and kick some sense into myself back then. I would have walked you right out the front door myself and dealt with the consequences. You were different." Emma stopped for a moment, but Raven didn't interrupt her. "I am sorry. And I know how hard you had to work to keep your power under control out there, after everything I did to you," Emma shook her head. "Christy called you a hero, and you are. Thank you."

"Pretty words." Raven sighed, unable to pull enough emotion out of her body to get really angry.

"More than words." Emma shifted to face Raven more fully while still lying back in the seat. She held one of her hands out, close enough to reflect Raven's light, which while faded too much to light up a room was still enough to make her stick out, "We have these brand new bodies. Can we bury the old ones and all that came with them?" Images of the remains of her own body ran through Raven's mind. It wasn't a pleasant memory.

"I don't know if I can." Her voice was softer, wishing she could just forget about it all and be free of it. That shedding her skin let her shed old pains as well.

"It's okay. I hurt you pretty badly. Perhaps only a Saint could forgive me. I know I can't." Emma turned around and pulled her blanket up over her shoulder. Raven just stared at her for a while before turning away and pulling her own blanket over herself. She didn't manage to fall asleep though. She just stared unseeing out the window thinking about the Hellfire club, her life on the run, Genosha, and the woman lying next to her.

The sun started to rise and glisten off the water. These waters didn't look like home.

Scott's tired voice called back. "Rise and shine people. ETA is about twenty minutes." Raven didn't move as she stared out the window, but her body tensed as she finally let the thought that she was going back hit her fully. HE was going to be there and Raven wondered if she'd be locked up in her old room so that he could keep her quiet. She'd made it easy for him to get rid of her, no one would be surprised if she disappeared again would they?

After they landed, the Xmen left quickly, but Raven remained seated, looking out at the underground hanger. It was new.

"Emma." She spoke quietly without turning around.

"Yes."

"If I disappear,"

"You really don't trust him do you?"

"No."

"My cell is 555-555-5152. I lost my phone, but I'll be getting a new one." Raven turned around and noticed Emma's slight smile. "You ever go a week without contacting me and I'll become rather pissy until I see you again. Will that work?"

With a sinking stomach Raven nodded. She hated tying herself to Emma like this.

"So I'm the lesser evil?" Emma reached out to take one of Raven's bags out of storage. "That must have really shaken your world."

"It did. I lost everything when I realized that." Raven glared at her bag in Emma's hand as she admitted that.

"He did more than order you not to tell didn't he?" Emma probed for information as Raven picked up her other two bags. Raven couldn't answer her, couldn't tell her the extent of his crimes. "I see." Emma's voice was colder, but it didn't seem directed at her. Raven didn't need to admit to anything for Emma to understand there was more. It was strange how well Emma seemed to understand. "I'd always thought the trauma from the club was what sent you running, but it was much more. It fits. From what I'd seen of you, I didn't peg you for a coward at all. I'd expected the shooting, not the running."

"All you ever saw was Christy."

"And yet it wasn't Christy that punched me, that was you. When cornered you fight." Emma smiled at her as they made their way down the ramp. Raven noticed the Professor down there and the brief shocked expression on his face as Raven and Emma made their way down the ramp. He had to have been told she was found, so it was her standing and talking with Emma that put that look on his face. Raven gave Emma a smile back just for that reason. Emma's smile grew a little as she seemed to catch the motivation behind it. "You seem to be cornered right now."

"Guess I'll have to fight." And with that her pounding heart calmed. Raven wasn't a child anymore, and Emma had just reminded her of that. She wasn't as afraid of what he'd do as she started to consider what she'd do.

The team had a routine when they got back from a mission and it didn't look like it had changed in the years Raven was gone. Hank had disappeared to his lab to prepare for the physicals, Logan had probably gone to get a beer, and Scott was getting the blackbird ready in case they needed it. Jean was standing near the Professor filling him in on things, but that stopped the minute Raven and Emma came out.

"Raven," He pushed his chair forward just a little and stared at her. Raven could see the apprehension in his eyes that he tried to hide. "I've been so worried, we all have been. It's so good to see you home safe and sound."

Raven just stared at him, a look of disbelief on her face. He was going to try and play the loving father now? She turned away from him and glanced at Emma. Emma looked at her and the expression on her face said play along for now. In her time with Emma she'd learned to read her a bit, and at this moment Raven went with Emma's instincts.

"Yes, home, well, it is where the heart is, isn't it?" She did what she could to keep her hatred out of her voice.

"Why are you whispering?" He asked.

"I have to." She didn't elaborate.

"I know I want to go and figure out how to switch back." Emma rested a hand on Raven's shoulder and Raven let her. The Professor just stared at the evidence that Emma was a part of her life and it amused Raven to see the confusion in his eyes. He couldn't ask, not with anyone around, because it would expose him.

"You want to switch do you?" Raven gave Emma a mischievous smile, flirtatious even.

Emma just smirked at Raven's play on words. "You might as well come with me to the med lab. Any information you have on my mutation would be helpful I'm sure."

"Why would she have information on your mutation?" Jean asked, sounding a little lost with Raven's attitudes not being what she expected. Raven didn't act warm enough to the Professor, she was sure of it, but it was all she could fake when what she really wanted to do was knock his ass right out of the chair.

Raven just stared at Jean, doing her best to not let her hidden tension affect her response. "Christy knew a lot about her lover, including how her powers worked. This diamond form is fireproof, resistant to bullets or crushing. Emma can now run into burning buildings or fall from bridges and she'll be just fine."

"Really?" Emma sounded interested in this.

Raven smiled at her, redirecting her conversation. "Yep. You got an upgrade Emma." Raven enjoyed ignoring the Professor in favor of Emma. It had to grate on him. He loved to be the one everyone turned to and the one no one would dare ignore. Also the fact that Raven knew more about the mystery of Emma's mutation would bother him, he liked to offer the insight.

"Well, why don't you two go get your physicals and then we'll talk later." He gave Raven a warning look, but she just glared back at him, before she turned to walk with Emma.

When they were out of hearing range Raven whispered. "You are also vulnerable to telepaths in this form. You don't have your protection. We need to get you changed back fast. It isn't bullets you need to worry about now."

"Why didn't you tell me these things earlier?"

"I wasn't really thinking clearly." Raven had to follow Emma to the med lab, not knowing the way from here.

"You flirted with me." Emma teased and Raven blushed just a little. "Keeping them guessing are you?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time."

They took a turn in the endless hall. Emma took that opportunity, once they were out of sight to stop walking for a moment and look at her. "You seem a bit tense about my newfound vulnerability."

"He has a habit of erasing people's memories if I talk to them. I can't let him do that to you." Emma's eyes widened a little at Raven's words.

"Okay then, any suggestions on how to change back?" Emma asked and Raven spent the rest of the walk to the med lab telling Emma what she'd been able to pick up from Christy's dreams and the talks they'd had about Christy's Queen, just those things related to her powers. Raven didn't really want to talk about Christy's love for the woman with Emma.

Hank examined Emma first. Raven sat off to the side out of the way as she waited for Emma. It was very likely she'd be next, once he was done with the diamond coated telepath. She wasn't looking forward to the uproar her own changes would cause. Just like she knew what Emma's powers now were, Raven knew exactly what she was, or she thought she did. Her change came about a little differently and she knew that Christy had never glowed like this. One thing she did know though was that her body was not the same, it was water and energy. It would be hard to hide that from a doctor.

"Whoever did this is dead." Emma's voice came close to a growl as she retold their story to Hank. She told him about Fredrick, but she barely talked about Ellie, the look Emma sent her way told her that Ellie's death was Raven's story and she wouldn't touch it.

"We don't kill Emma." Jean walked into the room and joined the conversation as if she'd been there the entire time. "That was Magneto's way and he's dead." They bickered for a while, Jean holding her own against Emma's wit.

"What makes you such a bitch Emma." Jean asked and Raven's hands clenched into fists. If Jean had been here for the whole story she'd know. Emma had just told Hank about the kids, and it was more than enough reason to want to kill.

Emma shot off some cool comeback and marched out of the room, leaving Raven alone with Jean and Hank. After a moment of silence where Raven glared at Jean, Raven moved to follow the blonde. "Raven?"

"Don't, just don't." Raven muttered as she stepped out of the room. She saw Emma down the hall and she moved more quickly to catch up with her. "Emma."

"You want to give me the heroic we don't kill line? It would be rather hypocritical coming from you wouldn't it Raven?"

"I wouldn't ever say something like that. Sometimes you have to kill." It was something Raven was more comfortable with now than she'd been just a few months earlier. "I'd kill em."

"Yeah, I imagine you would." Emma sighed. "So shall we find a quiet corner and see if I can switch." The woman smiled a little, teasing about the word.

"Since Christy's lover couldn't be telepathic in that form I don't have a lot of details on how you do it."

"That's okay, you can keep me company while I figure it out." Emma tilted her head just a little as she studied Raven. "It doesn't bother you, talking about switches or any of that?"

Raven smiled just a little too tensely. "You ask me to call you mistress again and I'll manage to crack that skin of yours with my fist." They started for the elevator and with the silence Raven felt like saying more. She sighed. "Getting out of here isn't going to be easy. I look like a mutant now, don't I?"

"No more so than I do." Emma stepped into the elevator and Raven followed her.

"If I took you to a pawn shop, what do you think I could get for you?" Raven eyed the diamond skin curiously.

"Honey, there isn't enough money in all of Manhattan to buy me."

Raven went quiet, feeling a little awkward joking in this way with her. It hit a few too many raw nerves. The silence was even more awkward.

"Oh for…" Emma paused and then hit a button to get them moving. "Everything is a mine field with us."

"How about we just cut your nails and I'll go buy a new car." Raven forged ahead. She reached out and touched the blonde's hair, feeling the hardness there as well. "Haircut could buy me a condo." It was starting to feel less wrong as Raven studied Emma's hair. "I wonder how you'd look with short hair, like mine used to be."

"But then I wouldn't be able to flip it. It would completely ruin my seductive act." And the tension was completely ignored, Raven had pushed through it. She felt a little good about that.

They found their way to what had to be Ororo's garden. It was wild and huge, an indoor celebration of nature. Raven sat down on the bench next to Emma and enjoyed the place, imagining Ororo's expression as she designed it. It didn't take nearly as long as it should have for Emma to become her fleshy self again. Raven sat there and watched as Emma studied her arm and switched back to diamond, going back and forth a few times, each time faster than the time before. It was actually pretty amazing how fast Emma was getting a grasp of her new power.

"Can you turn your glow off?" Emma stopped looking at her own arm and looked up at Raven. "And what about what Christy said about being…"

"Don't." Raven spoke quickly and quietly, while glancing around them. Her as of yet untested shapeshifting power wasn't something she wanted to share with the Professor and she didn't know anything about the security in this place anymore. Closer her eyes she focused on her hearing, one of the shape shifts Christy had done with Raven a few times and she smiled just a little as she heard the air move and the leaves of plants brush against each other, she could hear Emma's breathing, but she didn't hear anyone else in the room. Putting her hand down on the bench between them she focused on one finger, and Emma looked down to see it, Raven made it sharp and longer, and then put it back the way it was supposed to be. "It's there." She whispered even more quietly.

"And neither of you told anyone around here about it?"

"She didn't really trust anyone, and at that point neither did I."

"So Tessa and I are the only ones that know." Emma looked thoughtful. "Unless she told someone."

"Yeah, unless she told someone." Raven sighed. Hopefully Tessa hadn't, because if she had the Professor would want to keep her around even more. Raven now had the potential to be the spy he'd always wanted, and with her life on the run she knew she had the ability. His training never really tapped into her strengths, but Raven found them. She could quickly absorb new skills, new lives, and fit in. She could blend into the background just as well as Tessa did if she wanted to and now with this new power she could be in the spotlight as well and still be okay.

"Okay, well, the glow." Emma shifted in her seat to face Raven. "It makes you stick out a bit much. Can you do anything with it, cover it?"

Raven sighed and moved to sit facing Emma on the seat, her legs crossed. With a force of will she tried to calm the glow as Emma called it. Nothing happened.

"Christy was able to create an extra layer of skin, would that work?" Emma offered once Raven's shoulder's slumped a bit with her failed effort.

"All over?" Raven complained a bit at the thought.

"Just where your clothes aren't. You aren't glowing through them."

Raven stared down at the pants in her line of sight and remembered putting them on that day it all happened. She also remembered crawling in blood, but she didn't see any. She stared at them and remembered her own remains, not quite a body, still wearing them. These weren't real pants. She hadn't even thought about it. She was quiet and thoughtful as she considered this. Her pants weren't glowing, so she should be able to not glow.

Starting small she stared at her hands. Her shirt was long sleeve, and her hands and face were the main issues now. A thin layer of skin didn't add much to her size, not enough to notice, but the glow was contained. Hopefully Raven could keep that up without a lot of thought. She worked on her face and watched Emma smile at her, seemingly proud.

"If we get you a pair of sunglasses you might be okay for the daytime. We'd need to check you in a darkened room to see if you covered enough for night, but this is progress."

"Good." Raven wanted to see if she could change more, but she didn't want to tip her hand here. She'd have to wait. They fell into another tense silence, as Raven didn't know what else to talk about while they waited for Raven to be summoned to the med lab again.

"If you seem suicidal it will make it harder for them to let you go. Can you cover," Emma finally spoke and motioned with her hands toward Raven's wrists.

"I'll try." Raven stared down at her hands.

"The gunshot, how did you get that?"

"So now we're taking a tour of my body?" Raven grumbled, feeling a bit too exposed.

"I'm just pointing out what the doctor is going to want to know." Emma's voice was a little colder.

"A rescue." Raven sighed and pushed her irritation at the personal questions aside. "I was shot rescuing someone."

"That was short and to the point. Will they accept that story?"

"No. I'll get a lecture about how weak I am and that I should have called if I needed something done. Then I'll be told once again how I'm brave, too brave, and I'm not equipped to save anyone." Raven's voice was bitter as she imagined this scene. They'd try to be gentle, but it would still hurt. "Then they'd want all the details and I can't give them that, because what I did wasn't really legal and they wouldn't approve."

"Did you save anyone?"

"Yes."

"Well then I'd say they're wrong. You did it, so you are obviously capable." Emma spoke softly and Raven looked up to see her former enemy give her a small smile. "It isn't like they never get hurt, even Jean with all her powers has been in a hospital or two hasn't she?" Emma tugged on her coat, which she was sitting on and then looked at Raven again. "You are a lot stronger than these people will ever know, but I know. You know it too. Don't let others put you on the sidelines, you don't belong there."

"You are stronger than that Darlin'." Another voice interrupted then and Raven's entire body tensed as she turned to see Logan walking up to them.

"Hey Logan." Raven glanced around the room a bit nervously. "Been here long?"

"Long enough to know you've got a scar you don't want people to know about." He sat down on the bench across from them. "Hank's about done with Scott. He's gonna want to see ya."

"Yeah."

"Was that why you left? One Eye and Storm being overprotective?" He sounded doubtful about that.

"No, it just didn't give me a reason to stay. I've never been an Xmen, not really." Raven wrapped her arms around her knees. "You know it. You saw how even Kitty was taken on missions, fourteen year old Kitty, when I was told to watch the mansion. Just in case. It was like I was ten every time a mission came up."

"The Professor was worried you'd get killed. Stormy wanted to take you more, she saw how you'd look at us when we left, but you had to be able to keep up in the Danger room sessions. That was his rule."

"And I never could." Raven was seeing this from a new angle, but she still didn't like it.

"We didn't get a chance to talk in New Orleans." He glanced at Emma and seemed to figure she belonged there, because he kept talking. "But you looked like hell, looking a bit better now."

"Thought you said I was cute." Raven smiled weakly at him.

"You were, but you also looked like you'd been awake for a month." Logan leaned forward, his voice softening. "Are you okay Darlin'? You been okay?"

Having him ask this with Emma right there made Raven freeze, her eyes wide as they looked at him. She was quiet a bit too long, and she knew it, before she answered. "Had my ups and downs." She made sure not to look over at Emma as she spoke. "I saw the Dallas coverage as I was getting ready for work one day. Was in San Francisco, I was eating pancakes and trying to pay the bills before leaving. I was…" Her voice trailed off. She remembered every detail of that morning, it was burned into her brain like all her other pains were. "God, it was hard, but even if I were home I wouldn't have been in Dallas with you. I would have still had to do that alone. I would have had to just watch you all die on the news."

"Oh," He looked down at his own hands. "That was a tough time for a lot of people. Kitty took a long time to forgive me for not calling sooner."

"I'll bet." Her voice was a soft whisper.

"Storm really laid into me after New Orleans. She didn't want to believe that you'd just walked away with nothing but a short letter." He sat back and started to go for his cigars, before stopping and smiling just a little. "Still willing to punch me if I smoke around you?"

"Yeah, I can make it really hurt now." Raven smiled a little, remembering their argument about his smoking years ago.

"I've been warned." He glanced toward the door. "Hank must be wantin' ya about now." Raven stood up. She could argue about this, but it would just make it more suspicious. Part of her wanted the team to know she'd changed, that she wasn't made of glass anymore, she was much stronger, but she wasn't willing to hold all her cards face up. Trust wasn't something she could afford to hand out like that.

"It was nice seeing you." Raven hesitated before putting her hand on his shoulder. "And that money you gave me, you have no idea how much that meant to me."

"I woulda just bought cigars with it, and I know how you feel about those." He patted her hand, before she turned and left, leaving Emma alone with Logan. She didn't say anything to Emma, but she did share a look with her, one that Raven interpreted to mean later, they'd talk later.

…………….

Raven was irritated. She glared at Hank as he moved closer to her again, clearly baffled looking, he wanted more samples of her blood. "Last one." Her voice was deeper, her eyes flashed, turning his animalistic eyes into demon eyes of red for just a moment. "And I'm leaving."

"We still don't know…"

"We know enough." It took an effort to not yell. "I know I'm different now, but its nothing to worry about and I don't want to spend the rest of my night as your lab experiment."

"But we need to know,"

"No WE don't." She held out her arm for the one last sample she'd allow. "So I'm going to have lunch."

"Good, I was just coming to get you." Emma spoke smoothly, announcing her presence and Raven turned to see the woman watching Hank taking Raven's blood.

"It turns to water before I get to the microscope." Hank complained.

"Not my fault you're so slow." Raven swung her legs to the side and slid off the table.

"Raven, you've got a secondary mutation there."

"Yes I do." She turned back to him.

"The Professor is going to want,"

"I don't give a shit what he wants. It's my body and I have a say to what happens to it. I'm done. I'm not even an Xman, so this," She waved her hands at the med lab. "This was just a courtesy, but I'm not playing any more."

Hank went quiet and Raven turned to take long strides out of the room. Emma just smirked and held the door opened for her. "Not a very pleasant patient are you?" Emma whispered at her as they walked down the hall.

"He did the same damned test five times. He wasn't going to get anything different, he was just wasting my time."

"I thought I'd rescue him by getting you out of there before you hit him." Emma smirked at her and motioned toward the elevator.

"I don't go around hitting people Emma." Raven remembered that one time she'd managed to hit the blonde though and a small smile came to her lips. "Just you." Well, then there was that man that she thought was Mystique that one time. Raven's grimaced a little at that memory. Maybe she did hit first and think later.

Raven's eyes widened as they made their way down another hallway after the elevator opened. She saw kids everywhere. She counted over thirty just in the halls alone and with each new face she saw the old ones. Jean running after Bobby after a stunt he'd pulled, Scott picking up his books after Hank accidentally knocked him over, Warren posing and preening, and then Tessa sneaking with Raven out the doors, hoping to not be caught as they finally got tired of being locked up in the basement and needed a night out. These new kids were everywhere. "Oh shit."

"What?" Emma turned to look at her and Raven didn't bother looking back.

"He's expanded." Her voice held dread. These kids would think the Professor was a saint and would eagerly wait for their chance to be used up, like he'd used Raven and Tessa up.

"This is relatively new. When my school closed down he reopened here and the students flooded in. I'd heard about it."

"That's great," She shook her head, "that's just great." Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Well, regardless, lunch is cafeteria style." Emma led them down another hall. "We should get something before the debriefing."

Raven noticed the weird looks she got from a few students as she picked up some food and she ignored it.

It was far too soon for her when Emma sat up a bit straighter and then stood up. "It's time." The telepath didn't look any happier than Raven. They grabbed the remains of their meal and tossed it in the trash on their way out.

……………..

It felt like they were sitting at the mythical round table. Raven looked around the table and saw the same people she'd flown back to New York with. The Professor was moving into his spot and the others stopped talking, showing respect to a man that didn't respect them. They had no idea about that though.

"This has been a disaster." He shook his head and sighed. Raven's fist clenched the arm of her chair and stared down at the table top. "Sixteen million mutants." His voice became a little lighter. "At least two of our own came out of that alive." Raven's jaw clenched and she looked up when the large monitor lit up. This room was so upgraded from what she remembered. The news had no sound, but the sight of the country she'd lived in from the air was unmistakable. "Genosha is gone."

"I believe everyone here is very aware of that already Charles." Emma snapped at him. "We hardly need your announcement, we were there." Raven nodded her agreement with the blonde. She didn't want to listen to a speech designed to make them feel, she was doing her best to not feel. It would have been nice to get out of this entirely, but she needed to understand. To understand why all those people died, and maybe the others or the Professor had something.

The Professor was watching the monitor and Raven stared at him instead. He looked so concerned, but Raven wondered if he even understood the loss or pain. "Did the two of you see anything?" Raven flinched as she remembered what she'd seen, just the inside of that classroom would be with her forever.

"Nothing useful." Emma took the lead. "It happened too fast. One moment I was getting ready to start class and the next." Her words trailed off.

"Raven?" The Professor looked at her and Raven just continued to stare blankly at the screen, seeing hints of streets she'd walked on. The Market filled the screen and she stared at the ruined roof and the burning. "Raven?" He repeated himself, but it wasn't until Emma rested a hand gently on her arm that Raven was able to look away.

"What?"

Jean looked sympathetic. "The Professor asked if you noticed anything before the attack."

"Ellie had tears in her eyes." Raven spoke softly and Emma's hand moved back and forth in a petting motion. Slowly she looked over at the blonde woman she'd gone into the high school wanting to beat bloody. Raven wanted to tell Emma to stop touching her, but she was the one that started this to irritate the Professor. She couldn't really stop it now. With a sigh she asked, "She did, didn't she?"

"I didn't notice." Emma spoke quietly.

"Well, from inside the classroom, that's all I could see." Raven's jaw clenched as she looked back up at the man leading this meeting. "And the death, the waves of it, didn't start long before we were hit. I didn't have time to take more than three steps between when I felt it start and when it hit us. It hit us first and then people kept dying."

"How did you survive? I can see how Emma did, but…"

"Actually Professor," Hank started to talk, but he was still looking at Raven a bit oddly. "I've found evidence that Raven has mutated again. Aside from the glow she had when we picked her up there are other changes. She created something she calls a portal in Genosha and her body is entirely made of water. Both of our survivors have acquired secondary mutations. I feel this warrants further study to see if something about the attack itself led to this or if the intense trauma of the situation is what forces the x gene to go further than it had before."

"What else can you tell us about Raven's mutation?" The Professor sounded interested. Raven didn't care, her eyes narrowed as she stared at him.

"How about we talk about what we came here to talk about. Who did this to Genosha and where are they?" Raven didn't bother hiding her contempt. "My mutation is my business." Her glare turned to Hank, who seemed once again startled by her hostility. "Hank if you act as my doctor, don't I get any confidentiality?" Her voice was softer as she said that. He looked down just a little, looking slightly guilty.

"We need to know these things." Hank was quiet as he said it.

"For teammates, but I'm not." Her eyes returned to the Professor, but she didn't miss Scott watching her carefully. "Let's just get this meeting over with. Genosha was attacked. Does anyone know anything more?"

"It came from Ecuador." Logan answered her when everyone else went quiet. Raven knew she never spoke up very much before, but she was a little surprised that talking earned her so many strange looks now. "Old bald insane bitch in Ecuador found and took over a stash of Sentinels."

"She's imprisoned here." Scott added and Raven turned wide eyes to stare at him.

"That monster is here?" Emma's voice rose in a way Raven couldn't let her own. "That monster is here?"

"Her name is Cassandra Nova." The Professor spoke as if a complete monster weren't being kept alive in this place. Raven stared at him, her eyes burning more and more brightly, to the point that Scott fidgeted in his seat.

"Raven, do your eyes do anything like mine?" He asked, interrupting her hate filled stare.

"No." She turned away from Charles and glanced at Emma, whose grip on her own chair made her knuckles white.

"Why is IT still alive?" No one answered Emma.

Raven's eyes turned to stare at Jean, then moved to Scott, before returning to the Professor. "You can't mean to actually try and keep her here. She killed," tears streamed down Raven's face, "them all. She killed them all."

"We can't sink to their level Raven." Jean spoke quietly, but Scott didn't say anything.

"Well then let me. I don't mind sinking once in a while." Emma interrupted them before Raven could offer her own services for this. For this monster Raven would be willing to do an execution as well.

"There is a lot we don't understand about her." The Professor interrupted this and Raven heard a small growl that actually came from her. Logan gave her a strange look but Raven ignored it and stood up, tossing the chair behind her violently. She ignored the crash into the wall.

"Oh yes, and here is the real issue. You'd rather people suffer than cut off a source of information. You don't care what happens as long as you know more than anyone else, you fucking bastard." Hank gasped, but Raven just took one step closer to the man she hated. "So this Nova woman could be useful, so you'll protect her. You are rather stingy with your protection Professor, so tell us why she's worth it." And Tessa's not, her mind finished to herself. "That bitch needs to die." Her eyes screamed at him that the killing shouldn't stop there, that he would be a nice follow up to it.

The Professor looked stunned as he stared at her. What did he think the hatred towards him was all Christy? Delusional bastard. "Cassandra Nova is a mystery. She shouldn't exist." Raven gripped the back of Emma's chair as she stood behind the blonde glaring at him.

"So lets stop her from doing that." Emma offered a quick solution, but it was clear the Professor wasn't going to consider it.

"You can't cage something like that and think everything will be okay." Raven spoke her voice cold.

"Chuck, she's pure evil. It would be better to just end it." Logan joined them and Raven watched as the Professor's face went a little red in anger.

"I am not taking votes." He glared at Logan. "Nova is not to be harmed."

Raven gritted her teeth and looked around the room. She turned back to the Professor and glared. "If you aren't willing to do what needs to be done, there is no point in sitting here and talking. I'm leaving."

She was almost at the door when he called out to her. "Raven, until Hank clears you to leave you can stay in a room on the south wing. Jean could show it to you later." The hidden message was don't leave. Raven sucked in an angry breath and kept moving. How was he going to enforce that?

Her steps down the metal hall echoed a bit, her long angry stride taking her quickly toward the elevator.

"Such short legs and yet you move so quickly." Emma's voice called to her. It stopped Raven and she waited for the blonde to catch up.

"Christy wanted to kill him." Her voice was cold. "I sometimes wonder if I should have let her."

"Oh, this is rather pure hatred." Emma pushed the elevator door for them. "I guess it shows me your acceptance of me in Genosha really was something special, in spite of the insults and attitude." They stepped into the elevator and Emma pushed another button. "Feel like telling me why you saved all your hate for him?"

"I told you." Raven watched the readout as the floor they wanted came closer.

"No, you didn't really." Emma's voice was softer. "Come with me to my room. They've set me up on the South wing, and it beats scaring the children with your trapped animal routine."

The room was nice, impersonal and motel like, but nice. Raven sat down heavily on the couch as Emma explored the built in bar. "Oh look, this is a good year." Emma stood up with a bottle in her hand. "Care for a glass?"

"No thanks." Raven felt tense and had a strong need to pace, but she did her best to sit still.

As Emma poured herself a glass of wine she spoke, "I've already been cleared to leave if I want to, but I've also been offered a job here."

"You'd be better off running for the hills." Raven watched at the blonde moved to take off her long jacket, leaving her in a halter top and leather pants.

"I love teaching and perhaps giving what you aren't willing to say, it would be best to have some here." The blonde took a sip of her wine and Raven just stared at her. Worry filled her, worry that the only ally she'd made so far here was being controlled. "But I haven't answered them yet. It would be believable for me to walk out the front door, angry at their lack of foresight in dealing with Nova." Emma leaned forward and started to unzip her boots. Flashes of memory ran through Raven's mind as she stared while those boots came off. "Now if you were to walk out the door I'm sure you wouldn't get far, but I can call a cab and leave whenever I want."

"What are you doing?" Raven glared at the blonde. "Rubbing in that I'm a prisoner again, even here." Her voice dripped with disgust.

"No," Emma stood up and unbuttoned her pants.

"What are you doing?" Raven's eyes were wide as she heard another button pop open.

"This time I'm giving you my clothes." Emma moved to unbutton another one and Raven cringed just a little. "Christy thought that was all she'd need to get out of the club. You have your full powers now, you could make it."

"I don't need your clothes."

"Now isn't the time to be shy." Emma's voice grew more commanding. "While they are too busy worrying about that monster is the time for you to walk out the door. I can call you a cab and you just need to walk out and get into it." Emma's light blue eyes burned into her.

Raven felt her eyes water as she stared at Emma, fully grasping what the woman was offering. Raven wasn't really trapped, because Emma wasn't going to let her be. "You can't erase,"

"I know." Emma interrupted with a sighed.

"I don't need your clothes." Raven swallowed her nervousness and stood up, to take a step closer to Emma. Closing her eyes Raven focused on the woman in front of her and memories that were burned into her mind, memories of this woman's body, how she moved. A slight intake of air made her open her eyes and Raven found she didn't have to look up to look into Emma's eyes. "Do I have it?" Her own voice asked and Emma nodded.

"That will be problematic, your voice." Emma started to walk around Raven, "But you look beautiful." A slight smile crossed Emma's lips. Raven just shook her head and couldn't help a little smile of satisfaction at her ability to do this.

Raven cleared her throat and tried again. "Get out of my way." It wasn't her voice, but still not Emma. Working again she got a bit closer. Emma just watched her as Raven got closer and closer.

"Christy said she couldn't do that." Emma spoke, the voice a match for what Raven was able to do now.

"She must have given up too quickly." Raven answered, thinking of Terrance and the voice lessons he'd given her for years. It was to make her training him in his powers less painful, to make it so she could actually sing instead of croak out lyrics. The arts were very helpful to shape shifters apparently. Why Mystique never told her that was a mystery.

Emma moved to call a cab and Raven took a few steps toward the window to stare out at students on the lawn. Once Emma hung up Raven glanced toward her and then back out the window. "They think he's a saint, but he's not."

"I'm staying here Raven. I have unfinished business." Raven looked over at Emma and could see the hardness in her eyes.

"Make it quick if you kill her. You don't want anyone to have time to stop you."

"It is strange to see that expression on my face." Emma didn't smile as she looked at Raven. "I can see why I can intimidate people with a look now."

They didn't say much else and when the cab came into view Raven took a deep breath and started for the door. "I'll call." Was all she said as she stepped out, closing it quickly behind her so that no one would see a second Emma in the room. Walking in the heels took concentration and the angry stride was hard to maintain, but Emma Frost was spotted leaving the mansion by several students.

"Leaving?" Scott's voice almost made her panic, but Raven's back only grew a little more rigid as she turned to face him.

Emma's voice was probably one of very few Raven could do, but it came out smoothly. "Really Scott, do you think I'd like to share a roof with the murderer of my students? Perhaps we'd have tea and reminisce on Sundays?" Disdain dripped in the voice. "Tell your Master that I appreciate his offer, but I have to respectfully decline." She opened the door and took a step out. It took effort to not collapse in relief as she sat down in the cab and it started to move.

He let her off in Manhattan and Raven slipped into a bathroom as Emma and came out as Raven. Raven caught the subway and just rode it as she tried to figure out where to go now. Her feet moved on their own and Raven found herself in front of a familiar house.

"Keys are in the envelope." A voice spoke and Raven turned to see Morgan giving her a letter. "You okay?"

"Sure." Raven gave Morgan a small smile, fake, just to reassure her. "You came all the way out here for me?"

"Irene loves you." Morgan shrugged a bit. "She wrote it down, but I'm supposed to say this." Morgan moved closer. "And I'm quoting here okay?" Raven just nodded. "Raven, I love you. Take my home and stay there. When the urge to run overcomes you, don't give in. If you start running now, you will never be free. It won't be easy, but just stay here and take the time to learn about who you are now. It isn't the same woman that stayed in this house years ago. She's stronger in many ways and powerful. She's also broken in a new way, and I'm sorry for that. Remember our talk about having to pick the lesser evil at times? I was faced with that choice for you and I'd rather you lived free then died enslaved. I made that decision for you, but I'm confident that it was the right one, even if it was a painful one." It was strange hearing Irene's words coming from Morgan, but even the way Morgan delivered it, the tone, was all Irene. Morgan took an awkward step forward and held out her arms. "Um, I'm supposed to hug you now." The clear discomfort on Morgan's face made Raven giggle. The way Morgan tried to hug without hugging very much was funny.

"She's torturing you, you know that." Raven teased just a little, while trying to ignore the words Irene had sent for just a little longer.

"I'm just not used to, well," Morgan grimaced. "I'm not a hugger."

"It's okay." Raven sighed and Morgan did something a little unexpected, she moved up to hug Raven again.

"It will be. You take care Raven." Morgan whispered and then stepped back, turning around and walking away. Raven could feel the key in the envelope, and she played with it through the paper as Morgan got in a car and drove away.

She stepped into the place and it was haunting how the same it was. Raven's eyes took in the couch Mystique had laid her on once, because Raven had collapsed after separating from Christy. Her eyes trailed through the doorway to the kitchen and the table Christy and Raven had sat at for that first Christmas dinner. "Oh Irene." Her voice cracked and the letter Irene wrote her was gripped tightly in her hand, still unread.

Raven had no bags to drop to the floor, because it would have looked very suspicious for Emma to walk out of the mansion with them. The clothes weren't a huge loss, but she'd also lost her sketchbooks, Tessa's teddy bear, and her old id's, which were hidden in the bear.

Raven took a week to develop a new life in her old home. She was now Raven Ellison, inspired by Ellie but hopefully vague enough to not be caught. Raven Ellison was a very tortured artist and didn't leave the house often. Irene had left her enough to live like that for a while and Raven needed the break from life.

It was a week, and as per their agreement Raven stared at a payphone far from her new home with a cell phone number running through her head. With a heavy sigh Raven dialed.


	32. Hellfire 2 Part 13

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

"Hello." The cool Boston accent was a little grainy over the payphone.

"It's me." Raven spoke quietly, while looking around at the people walking into the store she stood outside of. "I'm just calling to say I'm fine."

"Just a moment. Let me get us a little privacy." Raven could hear Emma talking to someone, telling them something came up and she'd need a few minutes.

"You don't have to." Raven grimaced. She'd been nervous about making this phone call and really thought she'd done everything she needed to.

"I have things I need to tell you." Emma must have been moving because Raven heard a door close. "And just calling and saying hi isn't enough to make it clear you aren't being held against your will."

Raven sighed heavily, seeing the truth in that. "Thanks for your help in my escape." It felt strange saying that, but Raven wasn't going to ignore the fact that without Emma's help she could still be there. Without a regular body, Hank was never going to get enough information to let her go. Raven had thought about it and realized the Professor's angle. It was upsetting that he thought so quickly and it wasn't until Raven was alone with time to think that she'd realized the trick he was playing.

"Yes," Raven could hear a smile in Emma's voice. "They are still baffled as to how you did that. I claimed that I came back and with the distraction Nova gave us, well, they never noticed the cab never came back."

Raven stood up a little taller and stared at the store display with unseeing eyes as she fully focused on Emma. "Nova?"

"She attempted to escape the same time you did." Emma sighed, which still sounded rather regal. "Beat the Xmen bloody on her way to Cerebra, but since she couldn't sense me and others had seen me leave I had the opening I wanted. She's dead. Cerebra regrettably got damaged in the fight." It didn't sound like Emma regretted anything. "So the Professor has to do without it. He's very irritated, since he could have used it to find you, or he believed he could have."

"He couldn't. He never could read me." She paused. "She's dead?"

"Yes, her neck snapped rather easily. It was hardly enough suffering, but the Xmen were coming down the hall. Like you said, don't give them time to stop you." Emma sounded very pleased with herself and Raven felt the urge to congratulate the woman for doing it. "It was self defense after all, so my lecture was short and boring, but then quickly forgotten." Emma's voice became more businesslike and she spoke a bit faster. "He still needs about a day to repair Cerebra. I'm guessing he'll look for people that have seen you around rather than looking for you directly. He's determined, I can see why you ran."

"I'm not walking around as myself." Raven stared into the wall of the payphone and the distorted image it showed of the woman inside. She had adjusted another form she'd known, and Drahke stared back at her, with short hair instead of long and with skin pale enough to pass as white. Being an exact copy of her ex would have been creepier and there was no telling where Drahke's customers had come from. Better to not run into one. Raven had worked on this form for what she was sure Christy would consider barely any time at all. She'd been able to visualize better than her counterpart, her attention to detail as an artist and the fact she'd painted two paintings of this woman helped her tremendously.

"Good." There was a pause. "I dragged your bags up to my room. What are you doing with a teddy bear?" There was some teasing there and Raven blushed a little.

"Sentimental value." Raven sighed and leaned against the wall. "Are you convinced I'm okay now?"

"Not yet." Emma managed to drag the conversation on. "I'd like to meet you and give you back your things. I have your sketchbooks here."

"How can I trust that you aren't being controlled?"

"There really isn't anything I could say to that." Emma's side of the line had a rustling like the woman was sitting. "But I do like that you didn't ask how can you trust me. You do, don't you?"

"Why should I?" Raven bristled a little, but she rethought her comment and concern and realized that she hadn't considered Emma herself as a threat.

"But you do anyway." Emma sounded smug. "I can travel anywhere and bring your bags, but something tells me that I won't have to travel far will I? I can hear the subway, you're near a terminal."

Her eyes closed as she felt a strong urge to kick herself. "Yes, I'm in Manhattan." She admitted reluctantly.

"Why didn't you run further?"

"I was told I need to stay still for a while." Raven glared at someone who looked like they were waiting for her phone, and it worked. They decided to not wait.

"So you're working with someone?" When Emma spoke Raven groaned, realizing what she'd let slip. "You really are off your game today. Don't be mad at me for picking up on what you fail to hide." There was a rustling on the other end of the line. When Emma spoke again it was very conversational. "You know, I never saw you in most of these shirts. Some are getting rather threadbare. Were you really that poor?"

"You're going through my bags?" Raven had to be careful, her voice almost rose on that one. She took a few deep breaths to try and keep herself from loosing control. A portal on the street would be a huge hint to where she was.

"Well, yes." Emma spoke as if it was clearly obvious. "I didn't find much interesting. You're clothing style is as boring as Tessa's was when I first met her." Raven felt her heart starting to pound a bit. "Really, sweatshirts aren't very becoming on a woman. You have a figure that begs to be shown off." Emma sighed. "At least I never saw you in any of these in Genosha. You had better fashion sense, so why didn't you pack those clothes."

"Nevermind that. What made you think it would be okay to go through my things?" Raven forced the anger out past her shock at Emma connecting the sweatshirts to Tessa even if she wasn't saying they WERE Tessa's.

"I needed to see if I should bother hiding them from the others or leave them where you had placed them." Emma's irritating self-important tone was back. "While I doubt you'd mind the others finding your stash of fashion disaster clothes, your Teddy bear felt strangely filled with something and your sketch books had quite a few drawings of people you clearly care for. This woman here," There was a rustle of paper. "with the long hair in a pony tail and a commanding attitude shows up a few times. Then there is," More flipping of paper, "This one with the dark skin and bedroom eyes." Raven could see her sketches of Heather and Drahke in her mind as Emma invaded her privacy yet again. "But the one I thought would really get you was the series of a young black man, obviously drawn over years. He wasn't with you in Genosha."

"It isn't…" Raven's protest faded and she sighed in defeat. "He started college and it was just time. He'd been running with me for years and I may not be able to have a life, but he could. I left him behind."

"Yes, well if anyone were to look through all your drawings dear they'd catch quite a few things you try to keep quiet." Emma sounded thoughtful. "I see Tessa and me in here. Some of the drawings are rather old." There wasn't anything Raven could say to that so she didn't. "Your memory of detail is very good. It almost looks like we posed for these, but I know we didn't. Did you even need me to pose for that painting?"

Raven fidgeted a little with the thought. "It wouldn't have been as good. The shadows and highlights would have been off."

"But you could have done it. That's pretty good dear." Emma's smile was something that Raven could visualize as well as they spoke. "So," Emma sighed. "For the question to prove it all, all those nights we were working on that painting did you ever want to stay over?"

Raven chuckled at the way Emma found to have Raven prove herself. "We did it in the morning."

"We did? How did I manage to sleep through doing IT with you?" Emma teased and Raven fought a blush as she caught the innuendo that was more Mystique's style than Emma's.

"Don't, don't go there." Her voice was tense.

"Sorry dear. I had to be sure." Emma did sound a little regretful. "So, do you want to trust me enough for me to give you back your bags?"

"Can you meet me at Penn Station tomorrow?" Raven played the scenario through her mind and with her new form she could check the place out for other xmen before approaching Emma.

"You really know how to show a girl a good time." Emma grumbled. "I'd been thinking a nice restaurant with dim lighting and privacy."

"You'll have to settle for corndogs and a busy subway station." Raven envisioned the mall attached to the place. "The foodcourt, near the Burger King."

"I'll be there. How does sixish sound?"

"Lovely." Raven muttered and looked around herself, getting a little more nervous with being on the phone this long. No one appeared to be rushing to catch her. Her phone call didn't look to be traced. "See you then."

"Be safe." Emma's reply as Raven was hanging up still reached her ears and Raven just stared at the phone for a moment after it hit the cradle. How did things get so mixed up?

The next night Raven stood in a shop in Penn Station, pretending to look at magnets. Her eye was actually on the blonde sitting at a table near the Burger King. Raven's eyes trailed over Emma for any sign of tension or a hint that something was wrong. When it looked like Emma was nothing but bored, Raven stepped out and started glancing around at the other shops for shoppers that were too familiar. She moved past Emma and to a shop on the other side of Burger King, looking at the ice cream flavors as if considering it. Her new form didn't earn her any of Emma's attention, until Raven saw the blonde look up and right at her with a small smile on her face. Emma held her eyes and slowly pushed a bag out from under the table with a foot, hinting that she had Raven's luggage. How she figured Raven out was a mystery, but with cautious eyes to other stores, Raven moved to stand near the telepath.

"I can sense everyone here but you." Emma glanced at the other chair, invited Raven to sit. "I'm betting you're my date for the night."

Raven sat, still feeling a bit exposed and vulnerable. "I wouldn't put it that way." While the form wasn't hers, she did use her own voice.

"Raven, you are picking up your new powers amazingly fast."

"Um, thanks for bringing my stuff." Raven reached out to touch one of the bags.

"You aren't going to take off on me are you?" Emma took a sip of the Pepsi she'd ordered for her wait. "I have a lot I wanted to talk to you about." Raven glanced around the station, checking out darkened corners. "And I do know how to keep myself from being followed. We're safe."

"How are things?" Raven gripped the handle of one bag, still a little tense.

"Well, I've found myself interrogated about you repeatedly. It gets tiring." Emma pushed her Pepsi towards Raven. "Sip?"

"No thanks." Raven pulled one bag strap over her shoulder.

"I took the position as a teacher at the school, but I live in town. No point tempting fate by sleeping there." Emma's finger caressed the dew on the Pepsi cup. "If he is as unscrupulous as you say, well he's very good. No one suspected him of such underhanded tactics. Logan, however, has asked me a few times if I knew what your attitude with him was about." Emma looked up at Raven. "That man thinks the world of you. I believe if it came to your word versus Charles' that Logan would believe you." Raven stared down at her own hand wrapped around the handle of another bag. It was nice to hear that. Logan was also the one that offered to go kill whoever hurt Raven in that club, before Raven lied and said she was fine.

"I could really use a nice meal." Emma interrupted Raven's thought. "And a friendly face, but I'll settle for your company." It made Raven smile just a little.

"I can't. I don't want to drag these around."

"I do have a car." Emma's eyes were piercing. "And I'm sure you'd like to hear about how the others have been since you left."

"Why are you doing this?" Raven's jaw clenched as she considered the offer.

"Because you never wanted to leave there, you just didn't see a choice." Emma paused and smiled teasingly. "And because it's been a while since I shared a meal with someone who would rather stab me in the back. I feel like I need to keep my social skills up."

It wasn't funny. Raven felt irritated with the reminder of their hostility, but it wasn't that long ago that she would have preferred a fight to a meal with this woman. But that was before, before they had no one but each other to keep them alive in Genosha. Raven didn't return Emma's smile at the teasing and just sighed instead. "Scott looked like he's been through hell."

"He has been." Emma leaned forward, her elbows on the table. "He was possessed by someone a lot less loving than Christy. Apocalypse took him over and forced him to do things that haunt him." Raven felt a wave of pity as she heard that. It was bad enough not controlling her own body, but to have the person in charge be evil would have been worse. "I hear that he just isn't the same anymore." They sat in the station for an hour, Emma telling Raven about the pains her friends had gone through in the past few years. Raven absorbed every word, feeling pain and pride for her friends as story after story came from Emma's lips.

"And that's just Scott and the Summers clan. Storm and the others have been rather busy as well. I've heard some things through the grapevine." Emma glanced at her watch. "Any chance you'll reconsider dinner?"

"I can't." Raven answered, but she wasn't feeling as confident with her no as she had in the beginning.

"Perhaps another time?" Emma stood up. "Call me again next week. Once he gets the Cerebra up I'll want to be sure you aren't brought in."

"Yeah, I'll call." Raven stood up and grabbed her bags, getting ready to leave as well. She didn't notice anyone following her onto the train, but once she got off in Brooklyn, Raven shifted her form and picked up a cab.

The next week Raven found another pay phone, this time in the financial district. The week after that she called from the Broadway. On the one month anniversary of the death of Genosha Raven called from the zoo inside Central Park.

"Emma." Raven's voice was a little shaky when she called and she hated that she didn't sound more in control.

"Raven, are you okay?" Emma asked and her voice was softer than normal.

"There were tears in her eyes, weren't there? You do remember."

"Yes, there were tears." Emma spoke slowly.

"I'm painting her, and I just needed to know." Raven took a painful breath.

"She was a lovely girl." Emma spoke and Raven leaned against the pole the phone was on. "So smart and so mature."

"Yeah." Raven did her best to not let the tears in her own eyes fall, but they did.

"Look, Raven," Emma spoke a little faster. "My plans for today were to get amazingly drunk and pass out sometime after dinner. Would you care to join me?"

"No, no, I'm fine." Raven watched the gothic girl sitting with her boyfriend on the bench in front of the lions and her heart ached.

"Raven," Emma sounded like a teacher at that moment, "you called me two days early. You never do that. Do you want to come over?"

"I can't drink." Raven whispered into the phone. "After I tried to kill myself I had to promise never to do drugs or drink again." Raven wasn't going to go back on that promise, and there was a good chance neither would affect her anymore.

"Oh, well that's unfortunate." Emma paused. "Well we could have dinner at least." Raven shifted so that she was staring at the ground instead of the gothic girl that had started Raven's tears. Her mind argued with her as she actually considered the offer. "Ellie used to talk about putting on the play Taming of the Shrew," Emma sounded lost in her own memories. "She liked the idea of a strong woman in such an old play."

"She was pretty strong." Raven spoke quietly. "She got me the job at the gym. Told me to follow her from the park and just walked away, I had to walk fast to catch up with her."

"She wasn't afraid to talk back and while I hated that I still respected it." Emma sighed. "Come over Raven. I live far enough from the mansion it should be fine. They don't even have my address." Raven didn't respond so Emma spoke again. "You shouldn't be alone."

"I always am." Raven's voice was sad, pained.

"And you shouldn't be now. I can't pretend to understand what your relationship with Ellie was really, but I suspect it bordered on illegal due to her age." Emma's voice softened, which helped to soothe Raven's sudden anger. "You wouldn't cross that line, I noticed that, but you wanted to. She wasn't just a friend to you." A soft gasp was all Raven managed to answer, she herself wasn't sure what her relationship with Ellie was but it was special. "Get in a cab and come to me. Do you have something to write with?"

"No." Raven shook her head. She couldn't do this. It was bad enough she called this woman weekly, she just couldn't do this. "I've gotta go."

"Raven," Emma called out to her as Raven hung up the phone. Raven stared at the phone for a moment after she'd done that, tempted to call back, but she wasn't going to do it. It was madness that led her to call in the first place, she wouldn't compound the issue by running to Emma for a good cry. For god's sake, it was Emma. She shook her head in disgust and moved to walk away.

It took her an hour and a half to get back to the house and when she moved up the walkway she froze as she saw someone standing there.

Raven sucked in air as she stared at the woman on her porch. Rogue turned to look at her and Raven fought the urge to look around nervously for the others. "Hi." Rogue looked a little puzzled and it was then that Raven's mind filled in a possibility that Rogue wasn't here looking for Raven and Raven's cover wasn't blown.

She had to force her body to relax. "Hi." Her words sounded cautious, she should have covered that when she made her voice change.

"Ah'm just…" Rogue turned her body to completely face Raven. "Ah'm Rogue, who're you?"

Raven kept her expression cautious on purpose now, as well as puzzled. She needed to talk herself out of this, because Rogue was a powerhouse and if Raven was exposed she'd never be able to outrun this woman. "I'm El," She went with a shorter version of her new last name. "I live here."

Rogue looked surprised by that one. Raven watched her glance in the front window and everything was still as it had always been. Raven's mind moved quickly, considering her options and possible explanations that could work for this. Only one did and it wouldn't make her popular with Rogue. With a deep breath Raven continued. "Renting it. So, what can I do for you?"

Rogue studied Raven and Raven could see the wheels turning. Who would Mystique rent out her house to? Someone in her same business was the answer Rogue was filling in, it was clear by the cautious stance and the intense scrutiny Raven was getting. Rogue had no idea that her mama was not so shallow as to only help other terrorists. "My Mama lived here. She leave anything behind?"

"Aside from furniture? Sure a few things." Raven shrugged. "Pictures and stuff."

"Any books?" Rogue took a step down the stairs, "diaries?"

Raven smirked just a little, "Sure with tiny little locks and Hello Kitty on the front." Her voice held scorn at the idea, but Raven knew what Rogue was talking about. Destiny's books. Raven had seen them here or there in her travels, as she stayed at other homes Irene owned, but there were no diaries here. After Raven's experience with Christy's small 'prophecy' about the Hellions Raven was never tempted to open one of Irene's books. "Oh wait, that's mine." She chuckled, coldly making fun of the woman in front of her.

"You mind if Ah look?" Rogue's voice deepened just a little. It was her own version of don't mess with me and Raven just crossed her arms and let her eyes travel slowly over Rogue's body, lingering at her breasts while Raven gave Rogue a leer.

"Normally I don't let strange women into my home unless I picked them up at a bar. You as good a fuck as your Mama?" It actually hurt to say that, but Raven kept herself from wincing as she licked her lips and winked. Rogue was sensitive about her inability to touch, so Raven pushed it by walking up to the woman and reaching out as if she were about to caress the woman's hair. "Nice stripe, born with it?"

Rogue stepped back quickly to avoid contact just like Raven knew she would. The woman's expression was far from friendly now. "How about I show you my bedroom, we could start the hunt there." Raven's voice was indecent. "You'll need to look real hard."

"Nevermind." Rogue looked almost ready to push Raven away as she walked around her and back down the path to the street.

"Oh but I really wanted to help you out." Raven called out to Rogue, careful to not speak louder than she thought safe. She'd explored her limits and she wouldn't be yelling anytime soon. "You a screamer?" She asked when Rogue didn't respond to the last comment. "I bet I could make you scream."

Raven unlocked the door and slipped inside, leaning against the door to close it. With a heavy sigh she whispered. "My god." Disgusted with herself, she tossed her purse onto the table and moved toward the kitchen. "It worked, that's all that matters." She felt slimy. She also felt nervous and didn't switch back to her real form like she normally did when she got home. Raven checked the rooms on that floor and then climbed the stairs, looking for anything out of place in case she caught Rogue on her way out instead of on her way in.

When she got to the third floor Raven stood nervously outside a door before opening it to what had been the master bedroom. Raven didn't sleep in there out of respect, but she did use it for something else. The door opened and Raven stared at the only evidence any Xmen that knew her would need. The easel had a nearly done portrait of Ellie, minus the eyes that Raven had needed a second opinion on. Paintings leaned against the walls of the sunny room, paintings of mutant diners, of mutants working out, mutants shopping, people Raven remembered even if she didn't know their names filled canvas after canvas. Buildings she's walked past daily were in the background. Raven was recreating Genosha artistically, it was the only way she could. She swallowed hard and checked her art, looking for any indication that anyone had been in this room.

Raven spent most of her days in there, with the soft décor of Irene's bedroom as her only comfort as she faced this past. She'd never painted so much so quickly, but she was afraid she'd forget, that the details would fade.

It would be an expensive shipment but maybe it would be better to get some of these out of the house. Raven felt like it might be better to get herself out of the house as well, because she wasn't foolish enough to think embarrassing Rogue would keep her away for long if she really wanted something.

Raven took an inventory of her work and calculated the cost of mailing. She could send these out tomorrow. Heather would assume she was leaving New York and it might help… oh damn, Raven thought. She hadn't contacted Heather in a while and Heather might worry about her since a whole country was destroyed. Raven moved to Irene's desk to write a letter to go with the paintings, which she was definitely sending out tomorrow now.

Raven found herself painting again that night but it took her a few hours to let her own form out. In the privacy of her home Raven let herself glow.

The next week Raven couldn't tell if she had only one week from her last call or if the normal schedule for calling was unchanged. Without knowing she played it safe and ventured outside again. She only left the house once a week for the call and groceries if she needed them. She was tired so this time she only went as far as the other side of Brooklyn to make her call.

After Emma got rid of whoever she was talking to her voice became a bit more urgent. "Raven, Storm's team is back and she wants to see you."

"I can't risk it." Raven closed her eyes in pain as she said that. She wanted to see Storm, she did, but what would happen if they took her into custody.

"I think you need to see them." Emma sounded mysterious and it just irritated Raven. "Storm has been making things difficult. She's under the impression that I know why you left and she wants to know. What would you have me do, tell her?"

"NO." Raven felt the hum of her powers at her talking too loud and cursed herself as she fought to keep it contained.

"Raven?" Emma called to her when she was quiet too long.

"That was too loud." Raven whispered into the phone, more quietly than she had been speaking before.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Don't tell her." Raven protested quietly this time. "Don't tell anyone."

"Why not?"

"Because it won't make a difference." Raven sighed heavily. There was silence on the other line for a bit too long.

"I'm surprised Raven. After all you suffered at the Hellfire club and you were already broken by the Professor. It should have been easier for us to rebreak you in our image." Emma's words were cold. "You don't dare stand up to your Master?"

The phone in Raven's grasp cracked as her grip tightened. "You bitch." She growled out quietly.

"Master Charles required your silence years ago and you are still silent. It's a shame such an obedient slave escaped you would have been…"

"Shut up." Her voice was almost too loud again but Raven used her anger to help her control the power surge.

"He didn't take anything away from you did he Raven, you just gave it all up willingly."

"No I didn't." Raven was breathing heavily, "He took everything I cared about and broke it. I wasn't even half alive there, I had to go."

Emma's coldness faded and her voice was softer. "Are you alive now Raven? Does hiding from the people that love you make you feel alive? Because I doubt that."

"I don't want to be imprisoned again. Never again." Her voice cracked and Raven had to work hard to suppress her power again. It was far too hard a phone call, she thought it would be safest to hang up. "I've spent too much of my life like that and I won't let him do it to me again."

There was silence and Raven moved closer to the phone, thinking of hanging up, but Emma's voice was soft and concerned. "Again?" Emma asked, "What do you mean let him do it again?"

Raven rested her forehead on the plexiglass of the phone booth. "I joined the Xmen around the same time that Jean did, but they never saw me until a little over a year later. There was a secret floor in the mansion, below ground so no one would see windows. I was supposed to be a spy and he didn't want his heroes knowing about that."

"I see." Emma spoke quietly.

"It was so easy to get caught up in the idea of being a hero, but that wasn't what he was turning us into." Raven closed her eyes and felt the tears leak out. "I wasn't as good as he wanted, so I got to move upstairs. I had to pretend I hadn't been living there and I had to keep my mouth shut. If I slipped he erased it."

"And so you learned never to tell." Emma spoke gently. "But you don't have to hide that anymore."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because," Raven stopped herself from answering that Tessa was still a pawn and Raven couldn't risk doing anything. It was like Tessa was a hostage the way Raven's silence was enforced by her concern for her first love.

They both sat just breathing into the phone for a moment. Emma's voice was the first to be heard. "I think you need to see Storm and her team. I can arrange a neutral territory."

"No." Raven shook her head even though Emma wouldn't see it.

"Raven, I can promise you that if you don't do this you will regret it for the rest of your life. If you want I won't even tell them you'll be there. I'll just throw a party and make sure Storm and the others come. You can hide in some other form until you feel safe."

Raven just stared at the gum on the ground as she thought. "Why would Storm go to a party you threw? She never liked you."

"She still doesn't, but I believe I can get her there."

Raven sighed quietly and considered it.

"The Professor is leaving town in two days to lobby in DC for the displaced Genoshans that weren't in the country when it happened." Emma's voice gained strength. "They've been trapped in countries all over the world without passports because Genosha is gone and no one is helping them."

"Karen?" Raven's eyes widened at the thought. She just assumed Karen would go back to her first country, but if she was trapped somewhere Raven needed to help her.

"I already arranged for her to come to America with her husband. I found her and paid for the red tape to be cut." Emma's answer made Raven sag in relief. "I also told her you survived as well."

"Thank you." Raven bit her lower lip to keep herself from making a sound of pain. "Thank you."

"I didn't do it for you." Emma sighed. "I've been helping those that I can."

"It's still good of you."

"The Professor will be out of town for days Raven, that was the point of the story. We'll do the party somewhere away from the mansion and he won't even be around to find out about it. I won't invite everyone, it might be too overwhelming for this. Will you do it?"

"I can hide as a caterer or something?"

"If that makes you feel more comfortable."

"We'll try it." Raven agreed, not fully believing she'd follow through, but it did sound like a good opportunity.

When Raven got home she entered the house slowly. It felt off and it took a moment of looking around to see why. A pink something sat on the coffee table. Raven enhanced her hearing and listened motionless for any movement in the house, she stayed frozen like that for a full minute, before she determined she couldn't hear anyone else breathing but she could hear the wind of an opened window somewhere.

She moved into the living room and stared in disbelief at the Hello Kitty diary sitting on the table. She knew who had to be involved but it wasn't Rogue's style at all. Raven moved around the couch and reached out to pick it up. The lock was sitting beside it and something was sticking out of the book. Raven opened it slowly to find a poker card in it, the Queen of Hearts, and a few words jotted on the first page. "You don't treat a lady like a whore." That was all it said. It felt like a scolding.

"I don't believe this." Raven muttered as she stared at the page. She looked up and glanced around for any other indication that someone had been in there, but without this diary she never would have been able to tell. Raven swallowed and moved to take her stairs slowly, to start checking all the other rooms of the house.

Nothing looked out of place until she got to the Master bedroom. Raven opened the door and looked around at the two paintings she had in there. The finished one had clearly been moved. Raven stepped into the room cautiously and noticed the lipstick on the mirror. "Nice Cheri, you aren't a complete cad." Raven just stared at the writing and let the panic rush over her for a moment. Whoever it was saw her art, but she didn't recognize this. Maybe it would be okay. Raven felt the urge to just leave to be on the safe side. She even turned to go grab her bags, but then Irene's words returned to her. Don't run.

Maybe he would keep thinking she was some rude woman living in Mystique's house. Maybe he'd never put it together. He had to be with Rogue in some way, because no one else would think to leave that hideous diary. It would be funny if it weren't so scary.

………………

The house wasn't what Raven expected. It looked normal, well to do but not crazy rich. Raven checked the address against the house again and shook her head. This was the place. Even the neighborhood wasn't gated. Emma wasn't hiding behind her wealth here. Not like the security apartment with a super view. Raven imagined the view again, and the nearly completed painting that would have saved it forever.

She pushed the black rimmed glasses she was wearing back into place. They weren't the norm for this face, but Raven liked to make adjustments. Her masculine facial features and her dimpled chin needed just a little something more to make it more severe and glasses worked. It gave her a more librarian look than a Psychologist, but was fine. Her black slacks and white button up shirt were as formal as she thought she'd need to go for this little gathering. Raven walked up the walkway slowly. She stood in front of the door and took a deep breath before knocking.

Emma opened the door and gave her a curious look for just a half a second before giving Raven a small smile. The telepath was wearing jeans and a blue shirt, which looked good on her but weren't likely what she planned to wear that night. "You might want to pick a different form. They've seen pictures of Karen." Emma opened the door wider and was obviously studying Raven. "Although your changes are interesting. Two arms for one. Can you do all four?"

"Yes, but I keep knocking things down with the extras. It takes practice to use that many." Raven used her own voice rather than the much deeper one that Karen had. "So this one is out?" She hadn't even risked using her normal fake identity to walk up to the house just in case. That one was what she was living as right now and no one here was going to see it.

"I'm afraid so." Emma started to wander in a direction so Raven followed, but she was looking around at the nice décor and obvious class of the home. The couches were pristine white, paintings that Raven suspected were originals graced the wall. It was classy and yet still a lived in room. Raven could see a magazine out on the coffee table and felt the urge to go see what Emma was reading, but she just returned her eyes to the blonde. "Karen's picture was seen by at least a few of the people coming tonight." The kitchen was where they were going. "Would you like some wine," Emma stopped for a moment and looked over at Raven. "Sorry, I forgot. I bought two types of juice, I have coffee, tea, water."

"Water is good." Raven waited and watched as Emma got a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"We have about an hour before anyone arrives." Emma glanced at Raven again. "Would you please revert to yourself?" With a few inches lost in height and a sudden slight increase in the lighting in the kitchen Raven stood there. "Still glowing?"

"Yes." Raven took a deep drink of the water. "So who's coming?" She felt nervous and eager and scared and dreaded the whole thing.

"Well, I told Storm that I had information I couldn't give her around the mansion." Emma sat down at the kitchen table. "I may have hinted to it being about you and that the Professor was the last person that should hear about it. She was very quick to pick that up. She's not nearly as trusting as Scott. I wonder why the Professor didn't put someone more gullible in charge of that team."

"She gets results and she commands respect. Storm is a leader and even if she weren't in charge she'd be in charge." Raven took the seat across from Emma.

"She is a bit of an Alpha woman, leader of the pack and all." Emma conceded and Raven studied the blonde, another Alpha in a different pack. What was Emma's pack now? She wasn't really an Xmen, but Raven never heard of any other affiliations. "She'll bring her team, but perhaps not everyone."

Raven studied her bottle of water as she considered that. "Who's on that team?" There were Xmen she didn't know out there. Watching the news showed her that. Storm was always opened to new people, willing to give a chance. It was why Raven switched teams when Storm started one years ago. She'd assumed that Scott was the one holding her back, but while Storm took her out more than Scott it wasn't nearly as much as Raven wanted. That was the Professor at work yet again, never telling her she'd never be a real Xmen but making it impossible for her to be one.

"Well, Hank is occasionally with them. I have no idea if he'll be invited tonight though." Emma sat back in the chair, seeming to lounge in it. "Rogue and Remy will undoubtedly be here."

"Remy? Who is she?" Raven noticed the slight smirk Emma gave her before the woman hid it.

"HE goes by Gambit. He's the resident thief and Cajun Casanova." Raven grimaced a little at having been that wrong. Now that Raven thought about it and how saying Rogue and Remy's name together seemed natural to Emma, Raven suspected who bought her the Hello Kitty diary. A thief that actually leaves things instead of taking, well he would have taken the diaries if they'd been there.

"Anyone else?"

"Well there is yet another Thunderbird, a young man prone to idealism and impulsiveness, Neal Shaara" Raven shook her head slightly, she didn't know him. "Bishop is a man from the future. He came back in time to play around with fixing the past." Raven was starting to feel like the world really did continue to turn without her. A lot of strange things had been happening in the years she'd been gone. "They just recently took on a brother and sister from Australia," Emma waved a hand as if to brush that aside as unimportant, "I have no idea what their names are." Emma smiled just a little. "And a woman going by the name of Sage. Storm brought her onto the team, but most of the others are still a little leery of her. She's a bit of a recluse."

"I hardly know any of them." Raven was taking a risk here and it would have been nice to not have so many unknowns in the equation. Storm wouldn't run right to the Professor, she'd think and consider what Raven told her first. She was the best Xman to come to, Raven told herself again. Even if the Professor had announced a capture Raven policy, Storm wouldn't just blindly follow it.

"Well you do know some of them." Emma reached out and took Raven's bottled water. Raven watched with some irritation as the blonde drank from it and put it back as if that were normal.

"You do that to annoy me."

"It takes so little to annoy you." Emma practically admitted it. Raven glared at her. "It isn't like I never offer to share."

"Stop playing whatever game you're playing." Raven's voice was cold. "I'm tired of it."

"All of this from a sip of water? I know you value water more than most but this is a little overboard."

She opened her mouth, ready to explain exactly how Emma annoyed her, but then Raven shut it. With a heavy sigh she turned to look at the dining room through the doorway and away from Emma. She took a few more deep breaths.

"Are you counting to ten?" Emma sounded amused. It took Raven some effort to not let herself respond to it with a growl. "You are rather high strung today." Raven ignored her and could almost feel how much Emma hated to be ignored. Raven had to turn away a bit more to hide her own small smile at the irritated huff of air Emma let out.

The doorbell interrupted them. Raven looked over at Emma with a bit of alarm on her face. "Just the real caterer. She's bringing the food you'll serve."

Raven took a deep breath and picked a form she was pretty sure hadn't been seen before. Remembering that some Australians might be coming, Raven switched it again, but then considering Rogue's being raised by Irene Lois was a poor choice as well. Raven flipped it to Terrance for just a second, but the added size made her feel unbalanced, she quickly pulled her body tighter and went with a form Mystique took once, in the mountains. It left her damp and a puddle on the floor. Raven glared down at the water that she pulled in from where ever to make Terrance puddle under her with a frustrated growl. That always happened when she went smaller. She should have been thinking. And a form of Mystique's, like Rogue might not have seen that, Raven thought a bit angry at herself for making such poor shape choices.

"I would love to work with you on those powers." Emma spoke quietly. Raven didn't bother to answer the underlying offer. She concentrated harder, growing by a few inches. Some of the puddle came back into her but there was still enough that she'd need to mop up. Her hair went dark brown and her cheek bones became more pronounced. Raven glanced down at the leather and the Mistress wear had to go. With another moment of concentration black slacks and a white top like she'd worn to the house covered her.

"Do I want to know what lead to you knowing that one?" Emma asked and Raven just glared at the woman. "She's not a member of the club." Emma was studying the form Raven had picked and Raven found herself standing very still as the woman circled her. Lady Heather would probably not be too happy to know her likeness was playing submissive here. Raven shook her head to clear herself of the thoughts invading them and glared at Emma.

Her voice was deeper, more commanding, when she spoke. "Are you going to answer the door?"

"Is it safe to do so? Are you done flipping through forms like others shuffle cards?"

"I'll stay with this one." Raven was familiar with Heather's expressions and she gave Emma a challenging one. Emma just gave her body another glance and turned to leave.

"Was that a Dominatrix?" Emma couldn't resist the parting shot as she stepped out of the kitchen and Raven's fists clenched in irritation at the tone Emma used, like she'd discovered a secret. Raven would have loved to respond, but someone was waiting. Raven just gave a heavy sigh and moved to find a mop or towel in this kitchen before someone slipped on her puddle. At least Emma hadn't teased Raven about not being house broken, Raven was sure the blonde would tease.

The caterer moved quickly and explained to Raven what food she brought, which lasagna was the vegetable one, what to do with the containers, which didn't include needing to wash them. It was all prepared and ready, it just needed to be served. The dessert sat in the fridge to keep cool and the other dishes sat on the counter. Emma left Raven to get her instructions from the caterer as if she really were a servant. Raven didn't care for that at all. Really all that Raven needed to do was bring the dishes out, fill a few glasses, take away dirty dishes, how hard could that be? She could play waitress. She started by finding the silverware and setting the dining room table. Without knowing how many people were coming she set ever place, the table was large enough for twelve. Not something Raven had seen in a private home before.

Emma came back into the kitchen after going to change. When she entered the room Raven's eyes widened just a little as she stared at the blonde. The dress was shimmery and clingy and low cut. It showed a lot of flawless back and cleavage. Emma's hair was up in an elegant style and she'd done this so quickly.

This dress looked better on Emma than the one they'd been painting had. Raven turned and finished pulling out serving utensils. "You look like a high priced prostitute." Raven insulted Emma and then turned back to see Emma smirking at her.

"Find me attractive do you?" Emma wasn't at all bothered by Raven's glare. Raven just turned back to the dishes she was serving later and tried to think if she needed anything else. "You always insult my appearance when you like it, so you must like the dress."

Raven gritted her teeth and wished for something she should be working on. "You look like a slut in anything you wear." She grumbled and Emma actually laughed at her.

"I'll let you off the hook." Emma started to walk closer. "You poor deluded thing. You can't even admit it to yourself can you?" Raven could feel Emma right behind her, and Emma's voice became a seductive whisper. "Or is this how you pick up women? Bring them in with your insults to their appearance."

Emma was teasing and flirting. Raven turned and glared at the woman standing much too close. "I don't really get around much. You and your friends left me with a few issues." Her voice was cold and accusing. It wasn't like she could date like a normal woman. She needed more trust than could be established quickly. Sure she'd had two lovers, but Emma wasn't going to know about that. They were both rare types of women that could get through Raven's walls. Raven wasn't going to sit on the woman's couch and let her play counselor, but she did want Emma to realize what was done to Raven. "I can barely sleep through some nights, what do you think having someone touch me does to me? I can barely force myself to endure it in the beginning." Even with people she trusted the first few times together were tense, people she could 'pick up' would be impossible. Raven shook her head, fuming. "So no, I don't pick women up." She turned away from the woman who had finally stepped back to give Raven space. "Funny thing is, before what you and your friends did to me, I'd been with someone three times in my life, three times when I was nineteen."

Emma's voice no longer held the flirtatious edge. It was soft and slow. "There is nothing I can say to make it better Raven." Emma said the nothing but the obvious.

"No, you can't." Raven's words sadder than she'd intended. She should have just kept her mouth shut; she didn't want to talk about this now. Raven's anger seeped out of her. "Let's just get this party over with." They stood in silence and awkwardness. Raven moved to get herself another bottled water out of the fridge, and her hand lingered over the beer bottles a little too long before she pulled the water out.

"Raven." Emma just spoke the one word, but there was something in it that made Raven look back at the woman. "Will you be alright with serving tonight?" Subject change. She could do that.

With a sigh Raven's shoulders relaxed a little. "Yeah. It's not too fancy an affair, I can pull it off. I've gone into jobs with less idea of what to do than this."

"I'd love to hear about that sometime." Emma sat down elegantly at the kitchen table.

While leaning against the kitchen cabinet, Raven considered the underlying question. "Maybe later." With Raven not offering up a story they'd run into another pause in the conversation.

"Christy said she'd only been with two people." Emma spoke quietly. Raven sighed. This was the never ending conversation, the pain of that week always came up repeatedly. Raven was guilty of doing this too, but she didn't like it when Emma did it. She thought they were done with it for the day.

"Yes, that's changed now."

"Her Emma wouldn't hold what happened to her against her. She'd be angry she couldn't exact vengeance, she'd," Emma paused and her voice was quieter, "feel guilty that an Emma had hurt her lover. She'll hate herself and she'll hate me, but she'll be there for Christy."

Raven stared at the stove in silence. It had nothing on it of interest, but it was somewhere else to look. Emma was claiming to be able to tell Raven how Christy's lover would react, and Raven could see how Emma might be able to. Raven opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it again. Finally she opened it again, speaking very quietly. "Would she forgive Christy if she fell in love with someone from here?" Raven often worried about her double and hoped that this world hadn't stolen everything Christy was fighting for away from her.

"Tessa." Emma supplied a name. "How that woman managed to…" Emma's words trailed off and Raven turned to lean on a counter and face Emma. "Or was it you?" Both, Raven thought but she didn't let any answer show on her face. Perhaps this was a mistake.

Emma sighed loudly and just stared at Raven for a moment. "If it is you, and I remember enough to know that is a possibility, Christy's lover will question it. She'll want to know what exactly Christy found attractive in you. She'll probably be concerned about self esteem, I would be. Christy was rather hard on herself when she compared herself to you. She clearly didn't feel she measured up to you."

"That's ridiculous." Raven objected. "Christy was so brave and strong, stronger than me."

"She put you on a pedestal." Emma spoke while clearly thinking and remembering. Raven wanted to object, but she couldn't really. She remembered all the thoughts about Raven the hero, and Raven never was much of a hero. She'd saved a few people by then, but she'd never done anything huge. Not like the other Xmen. "Her words when, well," Emma's eyes told Raven she regretted bringing it up. "When you were with Selene and right afterwards Christy's guilt about your situation and her past were very clear. You were her hero, the part of herself she wanted to be there but didn't believe she really had."

"You couldn't read her." Raven spoke, but her voice was a bit leery as she considered the fact that for a while during that night Emma could have. Christy had let her in. Raven knew these things about Christy, but she'd been in her head. She hadn't expected Emma to pick up on in so easily.

"Not completely. And if it is Tessa that Christy fell for, and she did tell Tessa she loved her, Christy's Emma will need some time to adjust. I would like to say Christy's Emma is likely to understand immediately, but she might not. It might be an issue." Emma's words weren't a comfort. Raven sighed and ran her hand through her hair. Christy had believed it would be okay, but she'd been a bit nervous as well. She probably had no idea. Christy wasn't someone who would have ever tested that before. "But knowing what Christy is going through just to get home to her will help."

"When is Storm getting here?" Raven filled the silence with the change of topic.

"Any minute now. We'll be eating at eight." Emma must always sound like she's giving orders. Raven glanced at the clock and noticed they had twenty minutes. "I decided to give you time to adjust by insisting we eat first." Raven nodded once. That was a good idea.

Raven was busy pulling the food out of their stay warm containers when she heard the door. She looked up at Emma and Emma gave her a comforting look. "It will be okay Raven. I'll promise you that. No one coming in that door is going to do anything to you. They'll all be glad to see their run-away sister again."

"She's going to be pretty mad about me not calling, and I only know two of them. Rogue…" Raven grimaced as she thought about what she'd done to Rogue recently.

"Oh don't worry about who you don't know. I'm sure you'll all be like old friends by the end of the evening." Emma smiled at her and started across the room. Raven's eyes followed her feeling like Emma was playing her games again, but she couldn't figure it out. It was just in the way Emma walked, the slight sway of her hips that screamed I know something you don't know.

With a deep breath Raven returned her attention to preparing the meal for transport into the dining room. She could hear the door open and Emma's greeting.

"I'm only here for Raven Emma." Storm's voice was cold and firm and Raven's hand shook just a little as she heard it. It had been a long time.

"Storm, I am fully aware of that. Would you and your team like to come in?" Emma's voice was a tad colder too. "I see a few people are missing."

"Sage is running a little late." Storm's voice was closer, inside. Raven shook her distraction off and turned to focus on the fridge, she moved to take a quick inventory of the drinks she had to work with. Enhancing her ears around the fridge was irritating because the buzz of the machine grew louder, but Raven worked to tune that out. "She was waiting to pick up Logan. He was out with Scott's team."

"We don't want Scott's team in on this Storm."

"They won't be, but Logan needs to be. You better have a good reason for my lying to them about our plans for tonight. Raven was one of theirs for years."

"Nice house Cheri." Another voice interrupted and Raven closed the fridge and listened to the familiar Cajun accent. Some of the people from the bar had it.

"Thank you Gambit." The polite tone was back. Emma was clearly not popular. Raven stopped moving and considered that. It was a bit of a sacrifice for the blonde to put on this little gathering for Raven.

She ached to step out of the kitchen and see who was here, and to see Storm. Raven heard the question about drinks being asked and rather than hide her ability to listen from so far away she gave in to her temptation, moving towards the living room to offer help with taking drink orders. She checked her reflection in the glass of the oven as she passed it, and Heather stared back at her. It made Raven's back straighten a bit with a nearly unconscious mimicking of the Mistress. Her throat was cleared as she shifted her vocal cords to do a bit deeper.

**AUTHORS NOTE: Please review, even if just to say you are still reading it. In looking at the stats I feel like perhaps no one is reading it here. So everyone, even those without accounts here, please review.**


	33. Hellfire 2 Part 14

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven stood a bit stiffly in the doorway, watching as Rogue and a tall man that had to be Remy standing and chatting quietly with a pair of blondes, a male and a female. Emma was looking at her and nodded as Raven walked up to her and Storm. Storm had lost the Mohawk. Raven smiled at the weather goddess when she was noticed. "Ma'am," Raven nodded just a little to Storm and the black man standing with her. There was another man moving to join the blondes. They had six Xmen in the house, and two more would be on the way. Raven returned her eyes to Emma. "Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes." It was already ready, but some of the guests were still working on taking their coats off. It wouldn't do to rush this.

Emma's eyes twinkled with mischief and Raven tensed up a little. "Well Gertrude." Gertrude? Raven grimaced at the name Emma gave her. "We could use some drinks. Why don't you open those two bottles of white wine I was chilling?"

As she stepped out of the room to get the wine Raven enhanced her hearing again. What had just been murmuring to her became words. "Who is she?"

"That's just Gertrude." Emma responded in an off hand way. "She's the help dear. I know how to pick good help, you don't need to be so tense about a caterer in the house. She won't burn the food."

"Fine, so what did you want to tell us about Raven?" Storm was being persistent. It reminded Raven of the time Storm tried to intimidate Christy for Raven's sake. That had touched her that Storm even thought of doing that for her.

"After dinner Gertrude will be leaving. That would be the best time to deal with other issues." Emma's words enforced a deadline for Raven to reveal herself. She grimaced and pulled the wine out of the fridge.

A search for a corkscrew came up with nothing. After the fourth drawer Raven just grabbed one bottle and transformed her finger to a sharp corkscrew. She used her other hand to twist the bottle enough to catch and she pulled the cork out.

"Handy." A voice startled her and Raven turned to see Gambit watching her. He smiled a charming smile and Raven felt like prey. He may not mean anything by it, but he was too intense. Her eyes darted around for Rogue. "So Cheri, do you need any help with the wine?"

"No, I've got it."

He glanced at the cork stuck to her fingertip. "Nice trick."

"You can see how I was destined to become a caterer." She gave him a small smile as she set the bottle down and removed the cork from her fingertip. She opened the second bottle as Rogue came in.

"There you are." Rogue smiled at Remy and then glanced over at Raven. "I don't believe I've met you." Rogue was so different from what she used to be. She wasn't so withdrawn and depressed. It looked like she'd blossomed in the years Raven was away. It made Raven smile a little.

She did her best to not wince as she introduced herself. "I'm Gertrude." And Emma needed to pay for that bit of irritation. She'd done that to Raven on purpose. What would be better, Gertie, Trudy… Trudy, "But you can call me Trudy." A little damage control on that name would make it less irritating. Raven poured two glasses of wine for the couple in her kitchen. With a nod she left and worked the room, getting wine into hands.

Storm was standing and talking with the blonde two that Raven still hadn't gotten names for. "Davis, you'll find that we attend a good deal of parties and dinners as well as fight." Storm was smiling when Raven walked up with her. Emma was standing nearby talking with Bishop. "Oh thank you." Storm smiled at Raven when Raven gave her a glass. It was strange to be right here in front of the people looking for her and they couldn't tell.

"You're welcome." Raven gave Storm a tense smile and started to want to shed her current form.

"So, have you worked for Emma long?" Storm was starting up a conversation, and if Raven didn't know about the tension between Storm and Emma she wouldn't see it now. Storm was hiding it.

"Not really." Raven glanced over at the blonde in question.

"Does she have many guests over?" Storm asked and it sounded casual, but Raven could see what Storm was really wanting. She wanted to know if the runaway Xman came to visit Emma. Raven gave Storm a small smile and decided to pay Emma back for the name.

"Every other night she drags someone home, but parties, no. Those are rare."

"I see." Storm clearly did. Raven turned to leave and caught Emma's eyes. She let an evil smile cross her lips for just a moment and watched Emma's eyebrows draw together in concern. A moment later Emma's eyes narrowed as Emma must have used telepathy, most likely on Davis or his sister to find out what was said. Raven's grin grew as she moved to see if the other man in the room needed anything to drink.

"Gertrude." Emma called out to her, drawing that horrible name out. "I believe we can start dinner soon. Sage and Logan are likely to be a tad later." Raven just nodded, but it wasn't eating Storm wanted to do, she wanted to interrogate Emma. Raven started to walk toward the kitchen. "Oh and Gertrude." Raven turned her eyes to Emma and noticed the slight smirk. "Please refrain from stealing any more of my silverware."

Raven narrowed her eyes at Emma and considered a few comebacks, but forced herself to not respond. The xmen didn't know it was her, so Trudy's reputation didn't matter. Emma was playing herself though. Raven just smiled and finished her trek to the kitchen.

Raven spent most of dinner in the kitchen, but that worked just fine for her. When she was in the dining room serving people talked about politics, art, movies, small talk, but when they thought she was out of hearing range, they talked about missions, other Xmen, the current situation for mutants and other important things. Emma clearly didn't correct anyone's assumptions that Raven wasn't trustworthy, or Gertrude as the situation was.

When Raven came out with the dessert Emma's eyes caught her, stared into her. "You could go home if you want Gertrude. We'll be fine." Raven swallowed hard and glanced around the room at Storm and the others. Stalling was almost over.

Her head bowed a little. "Thank you." She spoke softly as she moved to leave the room. Her heart was beating a little faster as she walked past the kitchen and toward the entry way. The door opened and then she closed it. As soon as it closed Raven returned to her own form, covering her glow and stood there waiting. Should she just walk back out there? Should she wait?

"So, what do you know about Raven." Storm's voice was loud enough that Raven didn't need to enhance her hearing. She did after she heard it though.

"A few things, did you want to be more specific or shall I talk about the color of her eyes, or perhaps her tendency to draw wherever she goes?" Emma's voice was cool, confident, almost condescending.

"No games Emma." Storm was the only one talking the other Xmen were silent.

"She alright Emma?" Rogue asked and Raven was a little surprised at the concern in her voice. It was Christy that spent time with Rogue, Raven had never bothered when Rogue started on the team, not really.

"She's," Emma paused, "cautious. It isn't paranoia if they really are out to get you, is it dear?" Raven took a step closer to the wall and focused more on her hearing. "She is a woman of many secrets. I ran into her again in Genosha, and you've heard what happened to us there."

"Scott said you two were found together." Storm interrupted and it felt like she was going to push. Rocking just a little in place Raven debated with herself about taking a few steps forward so she'd be in view and the others would see her.

"Are you asking if we're having a torrid affair?" Emma's voice was teasing. "I will admit we were spending a good deal of time together." Raven's eyes widened at what Emma was insinuating.

"That's because you were stalking me." Raven said loud enough to be heard as she stepped into the living room, which was fully visible to the dining room. All eyes quickly turned to her and Raven stood still and nervously waited to see what would happen.

While most people's eyes showed some recognition, it was Storm and Rogue that stood up. "Raven?" Storm was in motion coming her way quickly and Raven braced herself for a punch. She'd let Storm take the shot if she wanted to. "Oh Sister, you're here." Storm's wrapped arms around Raven and held her tightly, squeezing her to the point if Raven really needed air it would have been an issue. Raven wrapped her arms around Storm and relaxed into the embrace. Tears filled her eyes at how easily Storm expressed her affection.

"Missed you." Raven whispered.

"Where were you, why did you go?" Storm pulled back and was now clearly studying Raven, taking in the changed hair, the clothes, Raven felt very exposed. Raven couldn't answer both of her questions, so she went with the first one.

"I've been all over." A hesitant smile crossed her face. "I worked on some of my other languages. I didn't get laughed at in Paris like you said I would."

"So that's Raven." Raven heard Neal speak quietly. "Looks smaller in person."

Raven glanced over at him. "I'm standing next to Storm, gimme a break, she's an amazon." Remy chuckled at that and Neal smiled at her.

"Hey Raven." Rogue looked a little cautious herself, and her eyes seemed to be looking for anything out of place on Raven. Christy made a friend in Rogue and never really knew it, Raven figured it out when the woman she'd never really gotten to know seemed concerned about her.

"Hey Rogue."

"If we'd known the mysterious missing Xman was going to come to this party we would have brought flowers Cheri." Remy was just naturally flirtatious, more so than Mystique or Christy ever were.

"Not an Xman." She replied automatically, but Storm's attention was grabbed even more firmly by that.

"Come, sit." Storm motioned for Raven to join them at the table. Raven's eyes caught Emma's as she started in that direction and she just nodded to the telepath in thanks, even though the worst of this was clearly soon to come.

The knock at the door had Emma standing up and moving to get it. Raven wouldn't have minded getting it for the telepath just to put off the interrogation again, but at least Storm wasn't mad at her. Or at least she wasn't yet, once she found out Raven wasn't telling her anything important she might be.

"So last I saw you, you were possessed." Storm spoke and the brother and sister on the team got a really baffled look on their face. "So what happened? Why did you leave? And why didn't you ever write or call?" Storm's joy at seeing her was shifting Raven noticed. She glanced around and noticed the sympathetic look Remy was giving her.

Raven sighed and glanced around the table at so many new faces. New puppets to that man, her bitter side added. "I wanted out and he wasn't going to let me go. I wanted to call, I wanted to write, but you had orders didn't you?" Raven turned back to stare into Storm's blue eyes. "If you heard anything, saw me, capturing me was supposed to be a priority wasn't it?" A slight twitch in Storm's eye told her that Raven had guessed right. "I couldn't trust you Stormy, and it hurt." Her voice almost cracked. "I did what I had to." Raven reached out a hand and took Storm's. "I'm hoping I can trust you now."

"You wanted to leave." Storm's jaw clenched. "And orders or not if I'd known, believed, I never would have chased you, but you were possessed when I saw you last."

Raven didn't know what it was that crept up her back and urged her to turn around, but she slowly turned to see Emma standing just in the living room. Logan stood near her. It was neither of them that held her attention, it was the woman with black hair and pale skin, it was the woman that Raven never thought she'd see here. A whimper crossed her lips and her arms started to shake. "Tessa?" Her whisper was so quiet and Raven just stared.

"She's not with the Hellfire club Raven," Storm was talking but Raven stood up, ignoring her and took a single step towards the living room.

"Tessa?"

"Hello Raven." Tessa's voice filled the air and Raven's tears started to trail down her cheeks. Her hand came to cover her mouth and she stared.

"You're out." Her voice was a plea, a pained plea for it to be true. "You're out?"

"I am not with the Hellfire club anymore Raven." Tessa took a step closer.

"He won't make you go back." Raven's voice was firmer, her fists clenched as she promised that.

"You knew." Rogue's voice was shocked and Raven actually heard it but she didn't take her eyes off of Tessa in case this Tessa vanished like the hallucination of her had that one terrible night.

"Yes, apparently she did." Emma's cool voice spoke and Raven turned just a little to see the telepath staring at her with an unreadable expression on her face.

"My cover is ruined. Sebastian wouldn't take me back even if the Professor decided he still needed a spy in that place." So he couldn't make her, Raven stared at the belt Tessa wore and her eyes flashed as her own cover started to fail her and the glow returned. X, she wore an X. "I'm Sage now."

"Xman," Raven turned her head away and stared at the wall. After everything the Professor put Tessa through, put Raven through, Tessa still went back to him.

"Yes, I joined the Xmen." Tessa's voice was so matter of fact, so calm. Raven was a wreck and she could barely breathe.

"Why?" Her voice rose. "Why the hell would you do that?" She glared at the woman in front of her, the woman she'd dreamed about, screamed out for, was willing to die for. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"Raven."

"No." Raven spoke loudly and felt the rush. "Shit." She whispered and closed her eyes tightly, her body tensed.

"What's wrong?" Storm was by her side, Raven felt Storm touch her, demanding an answer but Raven was using all she had to try and stop the portal.

"Don't try to make her talk." Emma commanded and Raven saw lights in front of her eyes, felt a tearing in her soul as the portal tried to break free. "Raven, you can do this. You've done it before."

"What's happening?" Someone asked.

"Emma?" Tessa's voice drew Raven's attention, but Raven did her best to ignore it and control her powers. Control, she had to have control. Only Emma knew what she was doing.

"You can do it." Emma's voice was soothing. Raven risked opening her eyes to see all the people were standing now, looking ready to fight and unsure where the battle would come from.

It started to calm and Raven's shoulders slumped as the effort worked. "god." She whispered very quietly.

"Okay," Emma stood tall, "dangers over folks." Emma addressed the crowd. "It doesn't look like Raven will kill us today." Emma announced it so nonchalantly and Raven just flinched at the idea.

"What was that?" Storm demanded of Emma, since Raven was still taking deep breaths and trying to calm the last of the swirling power inside of her. "What was happening to her?" Surprisingly Emma didn't answer. Storm's attention turned to Raven, but Raven was now just staring at Tessa again. "Raven?"

"I have trouble controlling my powers sometimes." Raven quietly admitted but she was still staring at Tessa, taking in the strange facial tattoos that extended from the outside corner of each eye and down along her cheek bones. It looked strange seeing something like that on her, not bad, it was artistically done, but still when did Tessa do that?

"The Professor was concerned about the possibility." Storm spoke and Raven's jaw clenched.

"I just bet he was." Her words came out an angry hiss and she glared at Tessa for following him. "Let me guess, I'm supposed to be taken into custody against my will, dragged to the mansion and locked up for my own good." She spoke accusingly toward Tessa. "Will you actually do that to me Tessa?"

"No." Tessa spoke quietly, standing so stiffly. "No, I wouldn't."

"Are you lying to me again?" Tessa had told her once that she'd never lie to her, that with all the lies they would be trained to tell they would always be honest with each other. Promises of youth and love, broken ones, because Tessa also told her she'd never come home and here she was. Tessa flinched just a little bit, but her expression remained guarded. So guarded, it was like Tessa was behind more stone than Emma was in her new form.

"No, I'm not." Tessa spoke as softly as Raven had to talk. There was nervous fidgeting from the other Xmen and Raven could feel Storm staring at them. Raven's eyes caught Emma's and she held Emma's eyes for a moment, before looking away in disgust. Emma had to know who Sage was, she had to. This was one fucked up game if Emma thought it was fun to just drop this on Raven. It was cruel.

"You said you'd never come home." Raven's voice was full of accusation and pain. "Never is a very long time but here you are. You joined him."

"Raven," Storm interrupted and her voice was slightly tense, her eyes penetrating. "What are you talking about? Did you know Tessa before?"

"We were locked in the basement so the real Xmen wouldn't see us." Raven's eyes glared at nothing but her memories. "His spies, his puppets and fools. Cannon fodder he fully intended to sacrifice." Raven's arms moved up to wrap around her body as she turned to look at Tessa again. "I waited years for you Tessa, I waited years. Years I had no clue where you were and you were right there. Unlike me, you could have called or did HE tell you not to, that I was better off in constant pain. You could have written, you could have fucking said goodbye." Raven went silent as she fought a more human urge to scream and yell and cry. She couldn't do those things anymore and suddenly that felt like a huge loss. These pains were even older than the ones that sent her running, this anger she'd learned to repress while playing at being an Xman.

"And that's why you came to the club?" Emma's voice filled the room with her question, her understanding. "You found her. We thought it was a mission, but it wasn't was it? You were after Tessa, your lover."

Raven just looked away, staring at the ground and didn't answer that. This was too much, too much. "I can't do this." She shook her head. "I can't." Raven turned to walk toward the kitchen away from everyone. The other rooms or the front door, she didn't know.

"Raven." Tessa moved toward her and Raven just held up her hands to stop Tessa getting too close. Raven didn't know if she could hold it together if Tessa got any closer.

"All those years in that hell, he put you through that, me through that, and the first thing you do when you're free is join that bastard. Oh god Tessa." Raven felt more exposed than she had when Selene marched her through the halls naked to be raped. Her eyes moved around the room to see embarrassed strangers and confused and concerned friends, and Emma looking as guarded as Tessa had been when she walked in. Raven gripped the back of someone's chair and held it tight, focusing on the pain of wood edges pressing on her skin, until the damned thing snapped. "I would have died for you. I was willing to…" Raven couldn't say it. She just shook her head. "We told him what they were doing there, what happened to you and he wasn't gonna do anything. He didn't care, so of course it's him you follow around. What the hell does he have on you? Because he used you to control me, so what's he using to control you?" Raven stormed out the room and opened the front door.

"Well that went well." Emma's sarcastic voice followed Raven as she slammed the door behind her.

"What the hell was that?" Storm's voice rose loud enough to be heard on the street

The road was lit and blurred through Raven's tears as she ran down the residential street. Just away, she didn't care where she was as long as it was away.

She focused on the motion, the way her legs pumped, her arms, putting distance between them. She tried to block out her thoughts, her memories of Tessa. Tessa kissing her for the first time, Tessa telling her that she loved her, then Tessa disappearing for years, followed by Tessa telling her she couldn't leave her mission, that she let that bastard Sebastian touch her, Tessa telling her that she'd never come home. The wind blew a little harder and Raven kept running, tears streaming down her face. Tessa telling her she was an Xman after all that, when Tessa knew what the Professor really was. It was different with Storm or Jean, they didn't know, but Tessa did. She knew and she was staying with him.

"Raven." A voice in the air called to her and Raven just ran faster. She crossed streets without looking, not caring if a car was coming or not. Faster, she hit the next block and kept moving. "Raven," Storm called down to her again. "Raven don't run from me again. I want to help you, I want to understand why you're hurting so much."

Raven hit another intersection and she heard Storm yell her name before the wind picked up and tossed her off of her feet, pulling her up into the air. A fast moving truck scraped against her foot as Raven rose up, moving fast. Raven stared down at the truck that would have hit her. The rush of wind made it hard to hear, but Storm was yelling over it. "Raven," Storm moved in front of her and Raven felt trapped, without anything she could control suspended in the air. "We need to talk." They rose higher and Storm came closer, wrapping arms around Raven and helping to hold her steady. Raven wasn't used to flying but that wasn't why she hugged Storm tightly back. Raven started to cry, her body shaking as she gripped Storm with both arms and buried her face into Storm's shoulder. "Oh Raven." The caress started on her hair and Storm moved the hold she had on Raven into a hug. "What has he done to you?" Storm asked so quietly it was clear she wasn't expecting Raven to answer. Storm spoke so softly into Raven's hair. "Shh, it's okay sweetheart." It only made Raven's sobs vocal and Raven struggled to stop, she didn't want to be crying, but she couldn't stop. She disgusted herself with it. She wanted to be stronger, hell it had been years since she'd seen Tessa, why would it still hurt like this?

"Storm, tell me you found her." A southern voice was coming closer. "Oh." Rogue spoke that a little awkwardly and Raven knew the woman was behind Storm somewhere. "I'll just give you two a little privacy."

"Thank you Rogue." Storm spoke. "Tell the others we might be a while." Raven was embarrassed at the glance Rogue gave her, hating being found like this. Once Rogue was gone Storm pulled back a bit, but still held Raven's arm. "Are you okay?" Storm was looking at Raven so carefully, seeming to study her, and Raven couldn't hold her gaze. Her eyes dropped, which as soon as she saw how high they really were she wished she hadn't looked down. "At least okay enough to talk?"

"Yeah." Raven dragged her eyes away from the lights below them and the tiny cars.

"First thing, can you stop glowing, is that something you control?" As soon as Storm said that, Raven noticed why it was so easy to see Storm in the dark. With a sigh she dimmed the glow. "Looks like you have a lot to talk about." Storm was studying her, "but we can talk about your new powers later."

"He'd want me back if he knew," Raven's face contorted into an expression of pain, "how powerful I am now. I can't go back to that monster, he's a monster Storm."

Storm took a deep breath, her voice a little harder. "And that's why you left us. That's why you could never call and why I worried about you, because you couldn't trust him. You said he was making you and Sage spies, but you never explained why you became an Xman."

"I wasn't good enough." Raven stared down at the distant lights again. "Storm, he," Her voice cracked. "Do you have any idea what the Hellfire club was like? Did Tessa ever tell you?"

"No, she's rather quiet about that." Storm spoke slowly. "When she was kidnapped and Sebastian refused to pay the Professor finally told us she was one of ours. He'd left one of our own out there for years. Are you telling me it was worse than I imagine."

"He knows exactly how bad it was and my Tessy was just eighteen when he sent her, it was her birthday and I had plans and she was gone when I came home." The tears started again. "MY Tessy, I loved her and he never told me what happened to her. He never told me that they were hurting her all the time." Her body shuddered with her pain, finally telling someone other than Christy about this. Storm pulled her closer and hugged her. "I waited for years. I really loved her. And he made sure I never told anyone. I couldn't leave because she might come home, but he didn't want the other Xmen to suspect I was hurting I had to pretend. Pretend that dating was fun, or that every time her birthday came around I wasn't dying inside. I had to pretend so much. He thought I was a lousy spy, but I was just fine, because I was half dead all the time and no one suspected."

"Oh goddess." Storm exhaled it in shock and pulled Raven to her tightly. "I didn't know you were hurting like this." Storm's words sounded teary. "I hate knowing you went through this alone."

"I found her Storm and I went to the club." Raven was finding it hard to speak, but she pressed on. "That place really is hell. When you found me he told me to never tell, that Tessa might get hurt if I ever told you that I was raped repeatedly and that Tessa… god, Tessa had been there for years as their sex slave. He knew, he knew." Her body shook violently. "I couldn't pretend anymore, I couldn't pretend I was fine like he wanted me to. I just couldn't. He said he wasn't getting her out of there. The same man that told me not to touch her until she was eighteen sat there and told me he was leaving her there and Christy said he knew, he knew all along. He probably knew before he sent her. How could I work for a man like that? How could Tessa?"

She screamed. "WHY?" And let the damned power do whatever it wanted, because she needed to scream. "WHY DID HE DO THAT TO US? WHY IS SHE STILL FOLLOWING HIM? WHY?" The crack wasn't thunder this time and Raven felt Storm jerk them back as a third eye formed in her mind, her link to the portal. Raven's voice was a whisper and pain. "I left him, I couldn't stay. I lost you all to try and be free, and she just signs right up. Why would she do this? She knows what he is, no one else did, but she did and she just went right back. I had to leave her there in that club." Raven beat on her chest twice. "I had to leave her there and I hated myself for it, because she wouldn't leave his damned mission. I thought about what they would do to her. I couldn't take it, it hurt so much." Everything she could never tell fell from her lips in pain and Storm just held her and let her talk. "Storm, Storm, it hurts so much."

"I've got you little one. I've got you." Storm's voice was definitely teary and she hugged Raven tightly. "Go ahead and cry if you need to." Raven didn't need the permission she was already doing it. Her portal sat twenty feet from them, giving Raven a view of Storm's pained expression and the way Storm curled her body around Raven to hold her tight.

"She's not working for him." Storm spoke gently and caressed Raven's back. "She's working for me. I didn't know how bad it had been for Sage in the club, but I did know he'd left one of our own out there alone. I left him, his control, his mansion and I took a team with me. She's not following him Raven, she's not." It took a little while for what Storm was saying to sink it, but Raven's body sagged like a rag doll when it finally did. Storm had to hold her tighter and Raven took a moment to close her portal before they drifted into it on accident. "Our current mission is about keeping something dangerous out of his hands, because he can't be trusted with it." Raven remembered Rogue coming to look for the Destiny Diaries and had to agree he shouldn't have that, but it was amazing to think that Storm's team was free.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Raven felt shame as she thought of what she'd said to Tessa about joining that man.

"She isn't one to yell over people and you didn't give anyone a chance to talk." Storm's voice was less tense. "Not that any of us would blame you. Seeing her had to be a shock. I didn't know you knew each other, nevermind that she was your lover."

"Was." Raven was finding it easier to talk, the painful squeezing in her chest that was her emotional pain was easing. "A long time ago."

"Raven, you've said a lot of things today." The leader is Storm was starting to leak out. "Things I wish you would have said years ago. I would have stood by you, you know that don't you?"

"You wouldn't have remembered." Raven shook her head in disgust, "Just like Bobby doesn't remember I told him I had a girlfriend named Tessa and Kitty doesn't remember that Christy told her we were raped. Just like Scott doesn't remember finding Tessa and I in the kitchen one night when we were kids and Hank doesn't remember finding me crying the day Tessa went away." Raven stared into Storms now glowing eyes as thunder rolled. "Storm, do you even remember that Christmas party that Christy went to after you saved us? Do you remember her yelling at the Professor and giving him the present Sebastian sent me of all the pictures of me being raped? Do you remember that?" The look of shock on Storm's face was enough answer. Raven took a deep breath. "I was the only one he couldn't erase memories from, and it looks like I was the only one he didn't do it to. Rogue might still remember, she took Christy away that day and no one ever said anything about it."

"That bastard." Lightening filled the sky as Storm's features grew angry. "He really did make sure you were alone when you really needed us and he manipulated all of us to do it."

………………..

They landed in a small field and Storm held her hand as they walked toward the street. It was almost as if Storm was afraid to let go. Raven stared at their joined hands and took a deep breath to keep herself from tearing up yet again. She'd done enough crying, Storm's top was damp from Raven's tears. Still, Storm clearly loved her and it was so nice to be loved and believed. Raven had been so scared that she wouldn't be believed, but Storm believed her right away; her word over the Professor's. It wasn't something that Raven had even considered an Xman would do.

They continued down the street towards Emma's house. There were a few Xmen outside chatting and Raven noticed Logan turn first to stare in their direction, his own senses more powerful than the others. He stood, clearly waiting for them to reach him. "You found her Storm."

"She was hard to catch." Storm spoke to Logan with her right there. "Raven runs rather fast, if I weren't in the air I couldn't have caught up." She gave Raven a small smile as she said that.

"Yes, I needed a car to catch her in Genosha." Another voice filled in and Raven's hand was suddenly free as Storm spun around. Raven's eyes widened in shock as Storm reached out and grabbed Emma by the throat with a growl.

"You." Storm pulled Emma closer and all other talking on the lawn stopped.

"Don't." Raven moved to rest a hand on Storm's shoulder. "No."

"The White Queen." Storm glared and Raven really was afraid Storm would hurt her. "Hellfire Queen."

"Don't!" Raven's voice rose to an almost scary level for her, the power was just under her skin. "Goddammit Storm, not her."

"Storm." Another voice joined them, Tessa. "Let Emma go. Raven is asking you to let her go and while Emma can be annoying at times I don't think it warrants murder." Storm shoved the blonde away as she released her and Raven watched as Emma caressed her own reddened neck.

"Well, this party is really entertaining. I don't care for the guests assaulting me." Her eyes were cold as they stared at Storm.

"Are you okay Emma?" Tessa asked, but she didn't bother looking at Emma, she was staring at Storm, before glancing at Raven. Raven looked down, feeling guilty for telling and upset that she felt that. "Raven."

"Tessa." Raven looked back up into Tessa's eyes and didn't know what to say.

"Well this is amazing. All those years apart, so of course you talk each other's ears off, but please drink something or your voices will tire." Emma's sarcasm was thick and unappreciated. Raven turned a glare her way.

"You knew."

"More than you were willing to tell me, but I didn't know everything. It's been an informative night." Emma stopped rubbing her neck. "I really thought you'd be happy to see her. Aren't you happy?" Emma waved an arm in Tessa's direction. "Well at least you didn't punch her hello like you did me dear."

Raven just shook her head as she walked toward the front door, ready to go inside away from curious eyes and Emma's neighbors who had to be staring out at the near brawl on the blonde's lawn. Would it be wrong to stop Storm from beating on Emma just so she could do it herself?

"Are you running from me now?" A soft spoken question had Raven's head whipping to the side to see Tessa walking along side her.

"No." Raven's voice was quiet but that might have been her first lie to Tessa as well. She wasn't sure, she felt such a strong urge to just leave and leave all this pain and confusion behind. "Tessa, why?" Raven felt the word erupt out of her, why, she didn't specify because there were so many questions.

Tessa's hand was cold as she reached out to take Raven's. "Let's get some privacy." Raven just stared at the hand in hers until she was forced to walk or let go. Tessa let go first to open the door. "Emma has a rather nice office in the back we can use to talk." Raven wasn't so far gone in her own thoughts to not notice Tessa had been to this house before.

"Are you still with her?"

"Do you honestly still care?" The response had Raven's hands curling into fists. They walked down the hall in silence as Raven debated about different answers.

"I never stopped caring. It would have been easier if I could have stopped." Raven's voice was cold as she spoke. Tessa opened the door and held it opened for Raven. She always did little things like that, Raven thought as she went in first.

"Why is a pretty big question Raven." Tessa spoke as she walked into the room, seeming so confident like the Tessa in the club, not the girl Raven had fallen for. Raven moved to sit in a chair with a sigh and didn't speak. She just stared at the floor, at her own interlaced hands. "If you narrow it down I can start to answer you."

"Can you really?" Raven turned her head up and glared at Tessa. "Can you really make sense of all of this, because Tessa, it makes no fucking sense at all. None of it."

"So do you want me to start at the beginning?" Tessa folded her hands so neatly in her lap, it would almost look like she was in complete control if Raven didn't know what to look for. Tessa was nervous, the slight shake of her hands and the way she wasn't quite looking at Raven gave it away and it comforted Raven a little to see something of her Tessa still in there, something genuine and not highly controlled.

"I'd made reservations at a bed and breakfast on the ocean." Raven felt a tear slide down her cheek yet again as she remembered her excitement at planning the most romantic birthday ever for Tessa. "They'd put the roses in the room for me and I'd mailed them your favorite cd, or a copy of it I had to buy because you'd know in two seconds if I'd taken it."

Tessa took a shaky breath and stared at her hands. "The Professor called me up as soon as you left on that mission with the others to explain that I was ready and he had a mission for me. He was afraid of what was happening at the Hellfire club and he told me it would be a hard mission but that I'd save lives. He said I had to go right away and couldn't wait for you, that everything was set up." Tessa went quiet and Raven said nothing. "I had no idea it would take so long or that it would be so bad. Once I was in and gave what I thought was going to be my only report a few months later, before coming home he told me I needed to stay and seeing what they were up to, the money and power that flew around there. It made sense. It was what I was training for, but don't think for a moment that it was easy to stay there or to leave you."

"But you did it."

"Raven," Tessa's voice was thicker and Raven looked into Tessa's pained eyes, "I wasn't a virgin for you anymore by the time I gave my first report. I didn't think you would understand. You always had such a hard time understanding the idea of doing whatever we had to for the mission, and it was a line you never would have crossed. I had wanted it to be you that showed me, was with me that first time, but it just wasn't meant to be." Raven took a shaky breath. "And I was told how well you were fitting in with the Xmen and that you'd been given more responsibility that they weren't leaving you out as much, and I knew you had hated that. I heard you were doing well and it just didn't make sense to hurt you with this."

"I was acting." Raven shook her head in denial. "I couldn't sleep, I could barely keep food down. I was acting, I wasn't fine at all. If I didn't act well enough he'd pull me aside and warn me, or if anyone noticed they'd be made to forget. I hated watching anyone touch my friend's minds, erase pieces of life we'd shared, so I learned to act really well."

"Then I heard you were dating. It had been a while, I couldn't begrudge you not waiting." Tessa's voice was more remote, mechanical. It was her way of holding pain away, she'd talked like this when she'd told Raven about her childhood once. "At first I didn't really believe it, it didn't seem like you, but I saw you out once. It was at the Phantom of the Opera."

Raven's jaw dropped as she remembered the one time the Professor handed her tickets to a play and told her to have a good time. It had felt a little off then and she'd been talking about wanting to cancel the date, but he spent ten minutes talking about moving on and how it was just a date and she shouldn't stop living because of Tessa. He didn't even try to understand. "He set me up. Those were his tickets."

"You asked me earlier what he had on me to control me Raven." Tessa shook her head. "He had you. He never intended to make you a spy Raven, never once. He put us together for one reason and it worked, it worked better than he expected. It kept working until you changed the rules. I wasn't able to be objective about you, I wasn't able to be calculating or see all the angles. My love for you rendered my powers weak when it had to do with you because I would think with my heart first."

It hurt. Raven was pissed and hurt and really could kill, she could kill, and she wanted to. He'd robbed them of so much. Christy was right, they both would have been better off with him dead. "I'm going to kill him." Raven whispered and Tessa gave her a sharp look.

"You can't do that Raven."

Frustration had her staring down at her feet. "I could." It wasn't as hard to imagine anymore. "I really could."

"Have you killed, was that really you or did Christy do it?"

"When Christy did things, she didn't force me. She asked, she gave me time to change my mind. She was always very careful about giving me freedom and control, as much as she could. I helped plan that hit, and I was the one that screwed it up because I didn't trust our aim would miss you." Raven's voice was weary and deeper.

"Have there been others?"

"Yes." Raven noticed the shadow in Tessa's eyes, the regret that Raven had become this but Raven didn't really feel like she'd sunk to new lows, she'd just finally accepted what sometimes needed to be done. "I had a lover and some people captured her. I know what being captured can be like and I was sick and scared and I ran in and killed the whole lot of them while praying that they hadn't touched her. That for once I could actually save a lover BEFORE she was raped or hurt." That didn't get a response, but Raven knew it had been heard. "And I'd do it again. I am willing to kill to protect and I know the Professor claims that's evil, but really, what right does he have to judge. He's done worse, so much worse."

"Was she alright?" Tessa's voice was quiet and concerned.

Raven teared up and took a few breaths to stop it. "They didn't touch her, but she left me. Something about not being right for each other, but I think my getting shot scared her." Raven was careful to not say enough to let Tessa know who she'd been with. "So I moved to Genosha and you know how that turned out. My luck hasn't been all that great."

It still felt awkward to be sitting here talking with Tessa, the time apart was a physical thing Raven felt she was having to talk around as it sat right between them.

"You were able to be with a lover." Tessa spoke gently, with no condemnation.

"It was hard, but I found two women that were patient in the last few years and they took the time to help me relearn how to feel." It felt really wrong to talk about this with Tessa. Raven felt unfaithful, even though they hadn't been together. "You stayed there Tessa. You had to know the Professor was lying to you and you still stayed. I wanted you to come with me. I needed you." A look of guilt and pain crossed Tessa's face but soon disappeared.

"There were so many plans in action and so many things that I needed to be there for, to stop." Tessa leaned forward just a little. "I wish you hadn't found me, that you hadn't been there." Her hand reached out and Raven finished the stretch by taking Tessa's hand. "Having you there and being unable to protect you was hell."

"Having to leave you there knowing what went on was hell too." Raven squeezed Tessa's fingers and let go. "I almost completely lost it." That was as close as she could go to telling Tessa about that night Raven took a knife to her own body. "But Tessa, you choose the mission over me. You choose it so many times." Raven stood up and moved to the window to stare out at the darkened yard. "Do you have any idea how that feels? I adored you, I worshiped you, and you picked your mission over me." Raven moved to the door and opened it. Her voice became a whisper. "If it were me I never would have taken the mission, and I sure as hell would have left for you if I had. You were more important to me than faceless strangers and manipulative bastards that pretend to care while they stab you in the back."

"Raven, I'm so sorry." Tessa spoke softly and her voice cracked. "What I saw as possibilities if I left weren't good and in order to protect you and others I thought I had to stay, but I'm sorry that hurt you."

"It didn't hurt me Tessa, it devastated me." Raven told her and looked over at her to do it. "You really couldn't have hurt me more." She stared at Tessa. "I really don't know what to do now Tessa. You're back, you're apparently free, and I'm glad. I worried about you all the time and I'm glad you're free. But I'm not free Tessa, I'm not free and I doubt I'll ever be free. My enemies have long memories and lots of power, so I'm not free. I'm afraid to stand still for any amount of time and in the past few years I've been eighteen or nineteen different people. In the past month I've been three. The Raven you knew, I don't even know where to find her." She left the room feeling empty and numb. She left Tessa in there and the woman didn't come out.

The tension in the living room was a bit too much for already frayed nerves. Emma was clearly used to hostile glances, but still it was too quiet and Logan's glare had been added to Storm's now. "Emma, I just wanted to thank you for the use of your home for this." Raven spoke, startling a few people who didn't realize she'd come into the room. She still hadn't forgiven Emma for the stunt she'd pulled but she didn't want to leave the room like this. "I really don't think I would have been able to do this otherwise."

"That's fine dear." Emma gave her a small smile. "I'm glad I could help." Raven held Emma's eyes and let the woman see some of her irritation at what Emma did, the blonde's smile became a little tighter. "But you aren't thinking of leaving are you?"

"I've had about as much excitement as I can handle." Her voice was weary. "I just want to go home."

"Where is home?" Storm asked gently and Raven turned shiny eyes to her.

"I can't tell you."

"But Raven, what happens now?" Storm moved a little closer.

"He'll come home and he'll wipe everyone's memory of tonight. I lose you all over again." She stared at Storm. "And this time I'll even lose Emma and I'll have nothing." She should have thought of it sooner, but talking with Tessa and remembering what it had been like in that mansion reminded her how little progress she was ever able to make. "And if I tried to kill him my own friends would fight me."

"You're just giving up?" Storm's voice rose a bit and Raven looked away.

"Don't blame her too much dear," Emma spoke to Storm. "Slaves are beaten down enough that they never think to fight back." And the barb aimed at her didn't miss its target. Raven glared at the blonde. "Your Master is not all powerful Raven and you are not alone."

"You really don't know what you're going up against." Raven didn't take her eyes off of Emma, feeling lost and confused as the woman waved an arm dismissing her warning.

"It's he that doesn't know what he's up against." Emma replied and made it so clear that she was standing by Raven. Raven just looked at her in a bit of shock at the offer of real help from Emma.

"So YOU will lead a slave rebellion?" Her tone made it clear how ridiculous that was.

"Funny how things change don't you think?" Emma gave her a small smile, not a smirk or a calculating grin, a real smile.

"Why do you two keep saying slaves?" Davis asked, clearly uncomfortable with the word. Raven turned to look at him.

"Because that's all the Professor really has, they don't realize it but they aren't free." She didn't add that the word was something even more personal to three of the people in this house. Storm and Logan clearly knew but why should her pain be dragged out for strangers?

"He's going to be gone another two days Raven. It's enough time to try and do something." Storm spoke and Raven turned to look at her. "You wouldn't really leave us to him would you?" Raven flinched at that thought. "Some of us have died for his dream and now I wonder if it was even their choice to fight for it. Peter is gone. Doug is gone. Many others you may have never known." Raven's eyes filled with tears as she remembered both of those men, so gentle and so willing to spend time with her teaching her. The languages she'd been using to survive in these past few years came from Doug and her painting was improved by Peter the only other artist in the house.

"How can we fight a telepath?" She asked the room, still feeling hopeless.

"Why with other telepaths dear."

………………….


	34. Hellfire 2 Part 15

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

She stood outside the car, her hand on the roof as she stared across to Emma. "If it makes you feel better you could change." Emma's eyes were penetrating. "No one at the party noticed you, you are good." Those people at the party were getting into other cars, but someone was walking their way.

Raven didn't say anything, she just stared at the figure coming their way, Tessa. "I'll be riding with you." Tessa told them and her voice was mechanical and unfeeling again. It must have taken some courage to walk across that lawn and she was using her powers to maintain it. Raven just sighed and got into Emma's car. It shouldn't be like this, she shook her head, unhappy with the fight they were taking on and that Tessa was finally on her side in a battle, they were on the same team, and it didn't feel like she used to imagine it would. The back door opened and Raven could hear her ex-lover get in.

"Are they actually trusting me with their beloved Raven?" Emma grumbled as she got in, "Or are you supposed to be her guard now?"

"You almost had Logan, I'd think you'd be a bit more grateful Emma." Tessa's voice didn't take on a snippy tone, it even softened a little. "He's feeling a bit more feral than normal today."

"Lets just get this over with." Raven muttered and put the seat belt on. It wasn't a good feeling, this strange guilt she felt for telling.

"You had a right to tell Raven." Tessa spoke more softly, clearly reading Raven's body language very well. "I was angry when you told me he'd ordered you to be quiet about it. You have nothing to be ashamed of, it's just the timing is a little off. We weren't ready to confront him yet, but now Storm is determined to do it. My calculations of the odds aren't as positive as I'd like. Too many variables."

"You were going to though?" Raven asked quietly and glanced at the rearview mirror, barely able to see a corner of Tessa's head since it was angled for the driver.

"Yes. I was going to confront him after we'd strengthened our position, had more to work with. At least you gave us that. Once his more loyal Xmen see the tampering he's done it will be easier to convert them." They stayed away from personal things, it almost felt awkward how easily they both were able to pretend it was all okay and that working together didn't hurt. Spies, Raven thought with a bit of bitterness, realizing that now it could be applied to her as well. Nothing was as it seemed with spies.

"Yes," Emma spoke as she pulled onto the street. "And we'll need you to point out what memories were tampered with Raven to spot them, because he clearly knew how to hide his tracks if little perfect Jean hasn't caught on yet." Emma's irritation or light hatred of Jean was easy to hear.

"Is this really going to do any good?" Raven asked and turned her body to look at Emma, before glancing behind her to Tessa. "Or am I just putting myself out there to be caught again? I don't want my old room back."

"They still don't know how you escaped the first time." Tessa stared at Raven enough to monopolize Raven's attention. "I think you've developed more of your powers, haven't you? I saw no footage of a taxi returning with Emma, and that was the trick Christy had tried to play at the club." Raven smiled just a little and noticed the slight nod Tessa gave her, she knew.

"She's even better than Christy from what Christy had said." Emma actually bragged. Raven gave the blonde a slightly surprised look at that. "Raven can do the voices." Where did Emma get off being proud of Raven's power?

"So that's how he can't find you. You shape shift when you're out in public." Tessa spoke and was studying Raven for a moment before blinking. "I can't sense you anymore." Tessa sounded troubled, before turning her eyes to Emma for a moment. "Just you."

"You never could." Raven was a bit confused.

"No, with my other powers. I'm not getting a power reading from you."

Raven's expression went a little dark as she considered that. With a heavy sigh she got ready to put forth her theory, which really would explain it. "What was left of my body was, well," She hesitated.

"Left smeared against a wall in my old classroom." Emma just spit it out and Raven cringed a little wondering if anything bothered that woman. "It really was quite gruesome. I doubt there is enough DNA left in her for you to analyze."

"Thanks." Raven glared at Emma when Tessa's expression went from slightly troubled to very troubled. "I'm sure there wasn't a gentler way to say that."

"Why waste time Raven. You lucked out with your mutation even more than I did, because you really were right up against deaths door." Emma turned onto a main street. "Surely Tessa wants to know these things."

"No," Raven turned to the side window. "No she doesn't." Her thoughts drifted to other things that had happened to her and how Tessa hadn't wanted to see it.

"I do." Tessa spoke just as softly. "I want to know you Raven, this you." Raven just sighed and continued to stare out the window. She really didn't know what to say to that, but her heart ached to hear it.

"This Raven is a bit bristly." Emma had the nerve to answer Tessa's words. "But if she isn't willing to talk, I could always fill you in on the latest details."

Raven turned to glare at Emma a moment. "You shouldn't believe anything she says. She's a liar." She addressed Tessa while continuing to give Emma a cold stare. She didn't want to imagine the picture of her life Emma would paint.

Emma turned to look at her. "Liar? Tell us one time I've lied to you. I think you'll find it hard to think of one." Emma spoke with her irritating confidence and Raven pushed her thoughts back to different conversations she'd had with the woman. Turning away from Emma to stare out the window again she started to pick them apart, looking for the lies she was sure peppered every conversation. "See, you can't find one can you?"

"Just because I haven't caught you doesn't mean you aren't lying to me." Raven muttered, hating to admit defeat and a little surprised that this wasn't easier. There were some questionable things Emma had said, but Raven couldn't know if they were true or not. "And I didn't hear you telling me Sage was Tessa."

"That's an omission, not a lie." Emma smirked. "I didn't technically lie."

"I think not telling me something like that qualifies."

"Like you haven't withheld information before? I believe the entire reason the Xmen are marching on the mansion today and not years ago is because you don't tell anyone everything." Emma's words hit harder than the telepath realized and Raven turned to stare out the window again to hide her expression. She had withheld information before and people died, but it wasn't the same thing. Raven's eyebrows drew together as she considered it and she had to admit hers was worse. Guilt rolled through her and she viciously pushed it back again. "I had the best of intentions, reuniting you both, so I think I can be forgiven this one small infraction don't you? Your problems with Tessa are hardly my fault."

Raven wanted to snap at Emma and she wanted to apologize to Tessa for talking about her with her in the car like that, but she didn't do either. Raven just went quiet and eventually Emma and Tessa started to talk to each other instead.

"You realize that if you attempt to do it the Xmen will still have doubts. You have a credibility problem Emma." Tessa spoke and Raven tilted her head just a little to lean it against the side window as she listened in on the shift of conversation to something more serious.

"No erased memory is completely gone and with Raven telling us what was changed we can find it." Emma sighed. "I suppose if we can talk precious Jean into doing it that would solve the credibility problem."

"Yes, they do tend to trust her." Tessa shifted a little and Raven felt Tessa lean closer, between the two seats. "and she is a strong telepath. The only issue I see is if Jean would be willing to trust Raven."

"She'll listen." Raven sighed and answered quietly. Jean was very fair minded, she'd listen to someone claiming Scott was the lord of the underworld without judgment and look into it, even if she knew it wasn't true, so she'd do something about whatever the Professor did to the others.

"Raven." Tessa's voice was softer. "Are you okay? This mission is rather sudden."

Her voice grew irritated. "I know everyone thinks I'm utterly useless but I think I can walk into a mansion and tell the others they're being lied to. Even I can't fuck that up." Tessa hit the nerve easily and Raven didn't hold back her anger. "I'm not the most pathetic one anymore Tessa."

"You know I'd never call you pathetic Raven. I wasn't insinuating you couldn't do this, just that emotionally it could be difficult." Tessa's voice remained soft. "I never once thought you were pathetic or unworthy. I could always see the potential in you Raven, the potential to be more than you were allowed to be." The words cooled the instant irritation and Raven reached out just a moment to touch the hand Tessa was leaning on, before pulling it away awkwardly.

"I can do this." Raven knew that some Xmen would be angry with her, as if she'd done this to them, just lashing out at the messenger since the Professor wasn't handy. She could already imagine the angry looks directed at her. It wouldn't be pleasant.

"And if others want to punish Emma?" Tessa asked it almost casually, but Raven felt the weight of it.

"I didn't pull her out of Genosha just to get her killed here." A hint of indignation crept into her voice.

"Technically we pulled each other out of that hell." Emma added while pulling off the freeway onto familiar streets. Raven could see a few shops she used to visit while living in the area, as well as some new ones. She puzzled over what used to sit in the space a new building now resided, rather than admit out loud to what Emma said. "You really are quite stubborn Raven. Perhaps that will work in your favor yet again."

It took another twenty minutes to get to the garage and park. Storm was actually there before them, waiting for Emma to drive up to the garage. Raven took a deep breath before getting out of the car. Emma hadn't taken risks in picking a place to live, it was a full hour away.

"They are assembling what Xmen are on the premises and we'll meet them in the debriefing room." Storm told Raven as she fell into step beside her. "There are a few that aren't here. Kitty's left for college, and Kurt's team is away, but I have Bishop working on getting them to come. We need to see how far the Professor has gone with his manipulations."

"Okay." Raven took a breath and straightened her shoulders.

The debriefing room was a little overfilled now, leaving a few standing, like Logan, and two opened seats. Raven moved to lean on the wall, while standing behind where Storm moved to sit. Emma took the seat next to Storm and Tessa took residence against the wall next to Raven. Eyes were on Raven, and she could feel them, but she didn't look around the room, she just waited patiently, her focus on Storm and Emma.

"Raven." Jean called out and started to get up.

"We have a lot to discuss." Emma interrupted Jean's breaking up the meeting to talk with Raven. "And very little time to work with, so let's save the questions for afterwards."

Storm didn't look too happy with Emma, but she too turned to Jean. Storm's voice was friendlier. "Raven's revealed something, something very disturbing that I think we all need hear." Raven tensed as she considered what Storm might tell them. She didn't want her rape discussed here. "The Professor cannot enter Raven's mind, he cannot alter her memories and as such, I would be willing to bet money she is one of very few of us that hasn't been mentally manipulated by that man." The tension in the air got thick fast. "Raven has told me about memories that I should have had and do not. She's told me of being kept in her place, of being forced to lie, of being alone because confiding in others lead to the Professor altering their minds. Rather than put us through that she denied herself any real comfort for her pain and in the end had to leave us." Storm's voice shook a little by the end and Raven's eyes grew teary. "I had mentioned to a few of you why I left the mansion." Storm looked over her shoulder toward Tessa, then looked back at Jean. "But now that I know more of what was really going on I'm back."

"But," Hank looked stunned and his incredible vocabulary failed him for a little too long. "Can we be sure that Raven isn't suffering from," He struggled to find a way to make it not true and just the misguided words of a confused and weak woman that had been through too much. Raven took another deep breath and pushed that awareness away. It was just touch, a voice in her mind told her, reminded her of the words she'd heard in the Hellfire club and how those words urged her to go numb to the pain. A familiar disconnecting feeling filled her and Raven stood still while Hank tried to make this about her.

"Silence!" Storm's voice rose, because a few other voices, Scott's with Hank and Logan with Raven were debating the possibility.

Emma's voice filled the silence once it was achieved. "This is easily solved with a mind probe and a compass. Raven is our compass because she can tell us what the memories should be and when they should be. Once we uncover what he has hidden we will have more to talk about. Debating the possibilities now is a waste of time and energy, and you'll feel like fools for doubting her later." Her voice was commanding and drew Raven's attention easily, all of her attention. "So I suggest we ask Raven who she knows was tampered," Emma let the word drawl out emphasizing it, "with and Jean or I can work to uncover the truth."

"I definitely want Jean in on this." Scott was less edgy, but he didn't look happy at all.

"Raven," Tessa spoke quietly. "Give them the list." As if it were that easy. Raven finally looked around the room, taking in the pain in so many familiar eyes, doubt, betrayal, disbelief. They stared back at her in silence, clearly praying she wouldn't say their name. Logan, Scott, Hank, Storm, Jean, Rogue, and then the ones Raven hadn't known. "Rogue, do you remember that Christmas with Christy? The present?" She kept it vague and saw the understanding in Rogue's eyes. She did remember. "Okay, then I never saw it happen to you."

"What present?" Scott muttered and Raven turned to look at him with her own sad eyes. He tensed.

"Scott, Hank, Storm, Jean, Logan do you remember?" She asked quietly and he shook his head.

"I heard her yelling but I was smoking outside. Didn't catch what she was saying, but she was clearly pissed. If she hadn't rushed out the front door I woulda went in just to make sure she wasn't killing anyone." He shook his head with disgust. "If I'd known, I woulda helped her do it."

Raven gave Logan all her attention and her expression became less guarded for a moment. "She wanted to tell you, I stopped her." Her own head shook. "I stopped her from so much and I think she might have been right now." Her voice picked up a hint of steel. "She wanted to kill the Professor for me and I didn't let her." A few gasped at that, but Raven just shook her head and continued, "Well, anyway Logan I don't think I've seen him erase you."

"It's hard to read Logan, nevermind tinker with what's there." Jean spoke up. "Rogue is another that is a bit harder to tamper with." The redhead sounded thoughtful. "I barely remember Christy being at that party." Jean looked right at Raven.

"Kitty was altered right in front of my eyes as Christy was talking with her, and Bobby isn't so forgetful he'd forget a tearful conversation the next day. Anyone at the party who doesn't remember Christy storming out has a false memory. I don't know everything he did, but I do know he made sure I could never talk to anyone or tell them. I'm sorry I never told, but I really didn't believe it would do any good."

"Why now?" Scott asked, his voice a bit gentler.

Raven glanced at Tessa and then back at Scott. "He lost his hostage and I don't have to be quiet anymore." Scott's eyes widened as he looked at Tessa and then back at Raven. "Yes, I knew she was here. I was actually at the mansion before Bobby, and had lived here a year before we staged my moving in. You never saw us because we were locked in a secret floor of the mansion."

"Jean," Scott was still staring at Raven. "I want you to get in Cerebra and verify what Raven's telling us. If this is true we have a lot of work to do."

………………..

It was quiet and depressing to stand there and watch Xman after Xman realize their trust had been betrayed. Raven leaned against the wall and stared down at the floor with her arms crossed as if to ward off cold she didn't feel.

"I'm seeing a pattern in his work." Jean's voice was clinical and detached as she stepped through Hank's mind. "I see other markers here Hank. I believe I found more that he's done."

Hank's eyes were sad, Raven only looked up at them for a moment before looking back at the floor. A soft hand reached out and rested on her shoulder and Raven didn't bother to look up to see who it was, the perfume told her.

"Let's do it then." Hank sighed and then there was a soft gasp as he got another small piece of his life back. It was followed after a moment by another. Jean had only needed Raven's help for the first two, and poor Hank was benefiting from the telepaths new found ability to break the locks on their minds.

"Are you okay?" The soft voice next to her came with a gentle caress to her shoulder.

"I feel," Raven's fists clenched as she struggled for a word to describe this pain and guilt and sorrow as friend after friend had their illusions burned.

"Raven, you are the one that told them about this, not the one that did it." Tessa's hand warmed a spot on Raven's shoulder.

The hand slid off and they stood there in silent vigil for another heart broken as Hank stepped away and moved to sit down heavily in a chair, shaking his head.

It was done around one that morning, all the Xmen that were there had been checked except Tessa. Jean glanced at Tessa and then just started to get out of Cerebra, not even trying to hide her own pain. "I saw you once, with a cake in the kitchen."

"It was Raven's birthday and I had to wait until you all went to bed to use the kitchen." Tessa explained it quietly. "She was new and I wanted to do something special for her." Raven gritted her teeth and tried to control her pain as she remembered that night as well. She'd been reading and feeling a bit sorry for herself because she had lost her old life just a few weeks before her birthday and Tessa had interrupted her wallowing in self pity, the young girl had baked her a cake and told her they had permission to leave for the day the next day. They would have gone that day but Tessa hadn't known it was Raven's birthday until midday. It was when Tessa became a friend and not just someone else living in the area.

"Raven." Jean moved a little closer, studying Raven. "I wish…"

"I know." Raven spoke gently, focusing on her redheaded friend and the clear regret in her eyes.

"He always told us not to abuse our powers." Jean shook her head in disgust. "He was like family, we trusted him and he was lying to us every day. How did you live with knowing this?"

Raven stared at Jean, lost as to how to answer that. Denial was how she managed it, letting herself forget. It was Christy and that week in hell seeing how he'd treated Tessa that finally forced her to see it all. "There was nothing I could do to stop it but behave and do what I was told." Emma shifted a little and Raven felt a flush of shame color her cheeks as she remembered Emma's comments about her being the Professor's slave. "If I didn't make him unhappy he wouldn't steal moments of our lives from us, and I believed him when he said he was doing it to protect Tessa, I wanted to believe it. I did until Christy and I saw what his protection was worth." It only took a moment of confusion in Jean's eyes to see she hadn't heard the entire story yet. Storm would tell her, but she hadn't yet apparently. Raven just sighed and glanced over at Bishop, the last one that was checked. He was staring at the wall with a grimace on his face. Raven had never met him before but after Jean discovered the markers that told her a memory was repressed she'd brought the others in to check them.

"Yes, I'm going to go see how Scott is doing." Jean stared at Raven even harder. "The other team is coming in later this morning. Kurt estimated about ten last I heard. You should probably stay the night. I don't know where you've been living, but it isn't close is it?"

It was a couple hours away, but Raven didn't answer Jean. She was still protecting her home base. "I don't know." Raven spoke hesitantly.

"I'd planned to stay the night." Emma interrupted them. "But if it is too soon for you, I could drive us to my home. I suspect it's closer than yours."

Staying at the mansion or staying alone in a house with Emma. Should be an easy decision, shouldn't it, Raven thought to herself as she actually considered her options. When she'd left this place she'd promised herself she'd never stay under this roof again.

Jean interrupted Raven's thoughts. "Did you want me to show you to a room or are you leaving?" Jean asked again.

"Staying." Raven finally spoke, and she hadn't been sure what her decision would be until she heard it herself.

"I can set you up in a room, come with me." Jean gave a small smile to Raven, as if Raven had done something good. "Tessa, you staying as well?" Jean asked as they started to walk. Emma had already agreed to, so that woman wasn't asked.

"Yes. I need to be here." Tessa didn't say why.

It wasn't her old room. There was no way she should expect that it was still there, but it was strange to walk past it toward another part of the mansion. Three empty rooms all next to each other. Raven took the first one without waiting for anyone to say anything and closed the door behind her, a moment alone, finally.

Raven sat heavily on the bed and rested her hands on her head, rather than pulling her hair out. "This is a mess." She spoke softly.

The room was a guest room, not really as large as the other room had been. Raven looked up when a light started to shine under the other door in the room, the one to the bathroom. She stared at it as she heard the shower start up and then sighed heavily. She had no idea who she was sharing a bathroom with.

Raven just stared at the light under the door as she listened to the water. She could see some shadows after the water was shut off and Raven listened as the occupant finished getting ready for bed. It wasn't until the light went out that Raven moved to stand, finding herself pacing just a little in the small room.

The bed sheets weren't even pulled down a half hour later and Raven glanced at the clock telling her it was two am. She felt jumpy not knowing who was on the other side of the bathroom. Finally she opened her bathroom door quietly and moved towards the opposite door. Just a peek would tell her what she wanted to know. Whoever it was had access to her when she slept, Raven wasn't foolish enough to think locking the bathroom door would keep either woman out and Emma was likely to be found in Raven's bed in the morning if Raven didn't take precautions. The blonde liked to irritate Raven too much to miss out on that opportunity.

What would be a good precaution? The entire dresser up against the bathroom door? Raven could just imagine the comments Emma would make about that. Raven grimaced as she also thought about how Storm would take a move like that, it could get Emma seriously hurt.

The other door opened slowly and quietly, revealing a darkened room. Raven glanced around to find the bed and the lump in it before hesitantly moving into the room. The light from her own bedroom was soft and didn't show much, but as Raven got closer she could tell it wasn't blonde hair on the pillow.

Raven's arms fell to her side and she just stared. There was a time when she honestly believed she'd never see Tessa alive again. Raven's head tilted just a little as she studied the other woman's sleeping form as Raven's eyes adjusted to the darkness. Tessa always did look like an angel sleeping.

"You do realize that I heard you come in." Tessa's voice startled her even though it was whispered. "I would hardly have survived long if I didn't become a light sleeper."

"You always were a light sleeper." Raven finally answered, her own voice a small whisper.

Tessa didn't attempt to move or sit up, and Raven found herself relaxing again after being caught. It was a little surreal to be here like this with her. "And you always used to sneak into my room at night to talk." Raven remembered that. After she'd been sent to the Xmen she used to have to wait until the others went to bed to sneak down to Tessa and talk. Raven spent months sleeping in two shifts and the other Xmen thought she must sleep half the day. She went to bed early, woke up in the middle of the night to spend some time with Tessa, and then snuck back into bed to finish sleeping.

"I treasured those talks." Tessa told her after a moment of silence.

"So did I." Raven swallowed hard, remembering the teenage girl wiping sleep from her eyes and sitting up with a smile, happy to see her.

Tessa sat up. "They normally started with me asking what you did with your day, if it was a good one."

"And I'd talk about the classes or the other students, before I told you about how I wished we could have walked through the garden, or how I wanted to take you to a movie I'd seen with Jean or Bobby."

"Raven, it's been a while. What have you been doing with these years? Were they good?" Tessa altered the routine and Raven took a shuddering breath at the return to an old way of communicating and the familiar feel of it all.

"I left here for New Orleans," Raven sighed and tried to relax the tension in her back. "Was a bartender and became an alcoholic." She felt some shame as she revealed that, but it was not the worst of it by far. "Left there with the Xmen running after me, but Logan gave me money for the train. Went to Vegas and worked in a brothel." Tessa actually jerked back a bit in shock, not something she did often. "I was a madam." Tessa's body slowly relaxed. "Picked up a boy that needed a home and took him with me for a few years. We went to San Francisco." Raven hesitated.

"Raven?" Tessa could use one word and say so much. Raven forced herself to continue.

"I worked at a book store in San Francisco, and then the holidays hit." Her voice was filled with tension. "I drank more and more and it wasn't enough. I kept imagining what they were doing to you and I couldn't sleep. I was a mess, so when I saw the man selling drugs I bought." Raven didn't even look at Tessa now, she was talking to her own knees. "It was a bad trip, it was like Selene was there and you were helpless. She wanted me to kill myself, so I grabbed the butcher knife."

"No." A soft whisper was barely enough to interrupt Raven and Raven didn't look up at that.

"And slit my wrists. I was found and sent to the hospital, but it was close." A tear trailed down her cheek, but Raven didn't linger there. It hurt too much. "So after I got out of the hospital we went to Mexico to work in a hotel. It was easy work and I was a little too weak to do more. I just took reservations, checked in people. Then we moved to Vancouver Canada. That was actually pretty close to home, but I didn't bother driving to Seattle. Mother wouldn't have wanted to see me." Her voice was conversational, but it was to cover up her discomfort. Her hands shook a little so Raven held them in her lap. Tessa was just letting her talk. "Worked as a researcher for a newspaper. Then I went to Scotland, did some construction. My hands got rather rough," She gave a weak chuckle. "So going from that to being a masseuse took a lot of hand cream and work. Australia was nice in the winter, not like New York at all. My boy was afraid to leave me alone at all in December, he'd watch me like I'd explode if he wasn't careful. I got fired for punching someone that thought they could feel up the masseuses."

"Good." Tessa's voice was still quiet.

"I hit Europe after that, worked in Rome in the museums while studying art then hit Paris." Talking became a bit easier. "I worked in a police station in Toronto."

"You had a good cover then if you passed the background check."

"I had help." Raven admitted it again. She'd told Tessa when she left she had help. "Then I went to Texas as a farm hand." Raven shuddered a little. That wasn't one of her favorite jobs. She took care of animals. "Moved to Colorado and became a counselor for gay teens. Mostly it was organizing things, but I did some one on one work. My mom kicking me out was more than enough experience to help me with the closet cases. I stopped a few from telling their parents, told them to wait until they were old enough to leave if they needed to."

"Not every parent acts like yours did."

"Well, it's better to plan for the worst don't you think?" Raven sighed. "Trusting people to care and watch out for you doesn't always work." She thought of the Professor as well. "We learned that the hard way Tessa, but I didn't want the kids to."

They were quiet for a while and Tessa asked. "What else?"

It got Raven talking again. "Moved to Chicago in the dead of winter. Worked as a Nurse's aide in a hospital. Terrance, my boy, had a hard time leaving Chicago. He'd found someone, but he left with me. We went to Jamaica, and I worked in a bank approving loans. Even had to wear a business suit." She remembered telling Tessa that any job that required that of her wasn't a job she'd want. It was another late night conversation about what they'd do if they had a normal life. Tessa would remember that talk, she remembered everything. "Then we went to Wisconsin and Terrance started college. I taught art and when it was time to go, he stayed to finish school." Raven looked up and gave Tessa a sad smile. "He'd been running with me for years, but he was getting too old. If he wanted a future he had to stop." Raven sighed and kept her face on Tessa. "I was sent to Afghanistan, where my lover was captured. I knew the language, you taught it to me. I was two people there, the female tourist that checked into the hotel and the male Afghani that drove into a small town and got shot killing six men and freeing her lover. We went to Austria to recover and she left me. I gave up my physical therapy and moved to Genosha." Tessa was looking sympathetic and caring. She'd heard some of this story. "Worked in a gym as a trainer and at the market as an artist. Met a sweet girl that took care of me and ran into Emma." She said it like they were clearly opposites. "Emma wouldn't let three days go by without hunting me down and she tricked me into doing a painting for her. Ellie, she was a precog and she was nervous about her visions. The day she died we were going to get together after her school and figure out what do to about all the death she was seeing. She was in Emma's class and I held her as she died. I was returning Emma's keys, and you know, I am so glad I was there for her. I was able to tell her I loved her before she died." More tears trailed down her face, and her voice was a little harder, as if challenging Tessa to object.

"Loved?"

"She was too young, but if she weren't…" Raven's words trailed off. "She was so sweet and strong. She took care of me and I needed someone to do that. I'd just lost Terrance and my lover had left me and Emma wouldn't leave me alone. I was hiding in Magneto's country so the Professor wouldn't find me. I needed Ellie."

The silence extended for too long. Tessa finally spoke. "I continued spying after you left. It was hard. Emma went back to her school and the party was wrapped up. It went back to business as usual, but it wasn't the same. I continued to give reports and sabotage things. Selene and a few of her people decided to kill off the old leaders and many of the Inner Circle died, Emma was hurt and her kids killed. It was just Sebastian and I building it back up. I used the incident with Selene to convince Sebastian that those damned games he liked to play led to that. The points and the pointless betting created a culture that allowed Selene to offer points and privilege for killing the Inner Circle. It stopped some of the brutality there. When Emma created a new school working with the Professor she offered me a place as a teacher, not wanting to leave me there, but I turned her down. There were power struggles all the time there and I navigated it the best I could." Tessa sighed. "But when I was captured by Bogan and tortured, held for ransom, the Professor waited until he knew Sebastian wouldn't save me before he lifted a finger. Storm came and got me out of there and everyone found out that I was never really their enemy, but not everyone believes it." It was clearly a very brief and edited history, but Raven didn't think she could handle more. Her mind filled in the holes with horrors. "Storm broke free of his control and asked me to help her look for Destiny's Diaries so that he wouldn't have them. That was what I was doing when I heard Genosha was destroyed and when we got the call from Jean saying you'd been found."

"Was it really worth it Tessa?" Raven asked point blank. "All the torture they put you through, what you and the others did to me. Was it really worth it?"

"No." Tessa shook her head. "It wasn't. What you suffered, nothing I got out of that club was worth that." Raven wanted to say and yet you stayed Tessa, but she didn't. She just remained quiet. "I was always waiting for the chance to do something that would make it worth it, the pain I went through. I kept thinking it was just around the corner, the information that would be worth it all. Then after you I was desperate for it. Something to help ease my pain and guilt, something to point to and say, that is why I stayed, so I could stop that. It never came Raven. Sure I did some good, but every time I went to bed it didn't feel like enough."

Raven took a deep breath and just sat there, staring at Tessa. The woman stared back. "I guess we should sleep." Raven finally said that since she really couldn't think of anything she wanted to talk about at the moment.

"The thought that you could have died three times and I would have never known." Tessa shook her head.

"That's how I've felt for ten years. Alone worried helpless to protect you." Raven moved to stand up.

"And it really did almost kill you." Tessa added it quietly. "Oh Raven." Raven didn't know what to say to that, so she started for the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow Tessa."

"Thank you." Tessa's response confused Raven and she turned to look at the woman that had haunted her for years. "For coming in here, for talking with me again like old times. I really did miss our talks."

"So did I." Raven's voice was quiet, somber, and she turned to leave. It took her far too long to fall asleep that night.

………………..

"Stop it." Raven groaned and pulled the pillow over her head as the endless knocking continued.

"It is time to wake up Raven." Emma's cool voice called through the door. "Hiding under the covers won't make the monster go away. You have to be a little more proactive than that." There was a pause and the woman's voice softened a little. "Breakfast will be ready soon." Raven opened her eyes briefly and closed them again with a heavy sigh. It hadn't been a dream, she was at the mansion.

"Not hungry." She rolled onto her side and stared at the clock

"Honestly, you're worse than Jubilee dear." Emma sounded exasperated. "I could go down there without you and I'm sure that Storm telling everyone whatever you admitted to last night won't cause any harsh feelings or anger. They are all waiting to welcome me with opened arms." Sarcasm dripped from her voice.

"I have no problem throwing you to the wolves." Raven pushed herself up into a sitting position.

"Right, and that's why you were trying to hold Storm back last night when she wanted to choke me to death."

"It's only eight. Go back to bed." Raven scratched her shoulders and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Raven might have had four hours of sleep if she was lucky. She lumbered over to the bedroom door and opened it to stare at Emma. Her eyes traveled down the woman's body once she realized that Emma wasn't dressed. The tshirt Emma had borrowed to sleep in almost covered her underwear, which looked to be dark blue for a change. Raven stared at the underwear for a moment with a puzzled expression on her face a little too tired to realize that staring was going to be noticed.

"You've seen me in less." Emma spoke and Raven jerked her head up to look into Emma's eyes. "Also I wanted to know if you had any shampoo. I need a shower and there wasn't any in my room."

"I don't know." Raven moved to the side and let Emma in. "Lemme see."

"So you didn't shower last night?"

"No." Raven muttered as she opened the bathroom door and pulled the shower curtain aside. There were bottles of shampoo and conditioner. "Not your normal stuff, but beggars can't be chooser." Raven picked up the bottles, but almost dropped them when she turned and Emma was right behind her.

"Did you need them?" Emma asked as she gently took them from Raven's hands.

"No," Raven shifted her rumpled pajama clad form into jeans and a tshirt, with neat combed hair. "I don't need it and I'd rather sleep." Her pajamas faded back into existence and Raven turned to touch the bathroom door. "So go."

"How about I shower here and then we go down for breakfast." Emma put the bottles back down on the edge of the tub. "Tessa said there was a change of clothes I could use in her room."

Raven's eyebrows drew together and she glanced at Tessa's bathroom door. "She should be sleeping. Leave her alone."

"No, she's already working. She's the one that gave me a wake up call." Emma rolled her eyes. "Which is why I'm spreading the joy. I am here for you after all."

Raven went quiet as she considered that. Emma really didn't get anything out of this battle personally. With a slight slump of her shoulders Raven sighed. "Fine." She shook her head slowly from side to side in disapproval of the tactics to make her wake up. "You shower."

Raven was to the door before Emma spoke again, her voice soft. "Did you like being able to talk with Tessa again?" It stopped Raven's retreat and she turned to look at the woman in her bathroom.

"Thank you." Raven said it quietly and pursed her lips together for a moment, the words didn't come easily. "I wouldn't have come if you didn't push it." Her eyes softened just a little as she looked at Emma, allowing herself to believe in the good deed Emma had done for her, in spite of the underhanded way Emma went about it.

"I knew you'd want to see her." Emma folded her arms, with the two bottles hanging from one hand. "And she wanted to see you."

"Yeah, well," Raven reached for the bathroom door. "Thanks." She took a step out of the room, staring to pull the door closed behind her. It felt strange thanking Emma for anything, but the woman had more than come through for her in this. Raven really was stunned at how her friends were standing by her and she never would have known they'd do that if it weren't for Emma.

She gave up trying to sleep as she listened to the water in the bathroom and just got up to practice. Her morning routine was to work on her powers, and normally that would have been an hour long session, and she would have done it before bed as well, but being here ruined her routine.

"So this is what? A training session?" The voice surprised Raven. Emma's tone told her that the telepath didn't think much of the routine Raven had created.

"And how is the giant rock woman doing with her powers?" Raven snapped at Emma while moving to stand again. "Hardly the most challenging new power is it? Rock or not rock."

"It's diamond dear." Emma was toweling off her hair and was only wearing another towel. Raven's eyes widened just a little as she noticed that. "And I was about to offer my help, but if you'd rather just practice like this be my guest. I just think you're capable of more."

"Help?" Raven asked after a moment.

"Have you even considered seeing if you can alter your abilities with your shifts? Become stronger or faster? How about more flexible in a fight, able to dodge your opponent?" Emma pulled the towel away from her head, leaving mussed blonde hair as she stepped closer to Raven. "I am a teacher after all. I could help you. I have ideas."

"I don't know." Raven's body slowly relaxed as she considered the offer. Letting anyone know what all she was capable of was a risk, which was why she hadn't told anyone she was a shapeshifter and only Emma and Tessa knew.

"How about we get a bite to eat and go to the gym. I'll play your personal trainer for a change and if you don't agree I have good ideas for you I won't bring it up again." Emma's smile said the blonde knew she had something.

"No trailing after me, no stalking me until I give in and do what you want?" Raven felt like she'd been here before, believing a promise from Emma only to have Emma's built in loop holes become apparent. "No tricks? Just one session?" She was curious what someone else would make of her powers and Emma looked like she had something good to share, she was just too pleased with herself.

"Even a money back guarantee." Emma smiled fully.

Raven just continued with what she had been doing while Emma got ready to go, but her tension increased as that time to leave got closer. Emma had mentioned the others and how they'd respond to the former White Queen. It wasn't likely to be very relaxing downstairs if Storm did tell anyone else what Raven had said.

It was bad enough the others would find out what happened to her, why should Raven have to protect one of the women responsible for it? She really wished she could just ignore this and let Emma take the punishment the Xmen would dish out, but she couldn't.

As they walked down the stairs Raven tried to think of some way to convince the others to leave Emma alone. She could hear the talking and the clank of dishes. As they stepped into the room, eyes turned to them and Raven could already tell who knew and who didn't. A flush of shame crossed her cheeks at the tender, almost pitying looks Jean, Hank, and Scott sent her way. Logan was looking but without that same expression and he looked at Emma with less hostility than the others.

Tessa was sitting quietly, looking almost apologetic about the attention Raven and Emma were getting. Storm's eyes took in how close Raven was to Emma and it gave Raven an idea.

"I was thinking after breakfast maybe we could work out. I haven't been to a gym since, well, it happened." Raven turned partly to Emma, and took in the knowing look the blonde gave her for using this ploy. "I should see if I am any stronger now, I think I am."

"Well, they do still have a gym if that's what you really want, but the danger room is also a possibility." Emma moved to sit beside Tessa, so Raven took the seat across from both women.

"No, a gym is enough." Raven responded and reached for the orange juice carton.

"You should learn what the limits of your powers are." Tessa entered the conversation. "The danger room would help with that."

"I don't want to play with my powers today." Raven sighed a little as she focused more on dishing up than on the others at the table. Her metamorph powers were hers alone right now and the minute the xmen heard about them it would become a struggle to keep control of her own life. They'd want her to train and Raven wasn't really sure she wanted to be pulled back into that old life. With training came waiting for missions she never got to go on and orders she had to follow. No, Raven didn't want to deal with that just yet, and there was always the chance the Professor could win the battle and then Raven would find herself wishing she'd kept her powers secret.

"We've upgraded a lot since you were here Raven." Hank spoke, his voice still irritatingly soft, as if Raven had proven to be far too fragile for his real voice. Raven hated that, the feeling that others thought she was broken. "I believe Bobby likened it to the holodeck on Star Trek."

Raven's eyebrow rose, a little impressed with the upgrade, but still not willing to let the cat out of the bag about her powers. "Cool."

"Bobby will be delighted to see you again." Hank turned just a little towards her. "He will be coming in today, as part of Kurt's team." Hank's eyes were sad, Raven found she couldn't look at them and turned to look around the table just to avoid them. Storm didn't look away and her eyes stared into Raven's. In spite of Storm not being a telepath or empath, it looked like the woman was trying to send strength Raven's way.

"Who else is on that team, anyone I know?" Raven asked Hank, even though she was reluctant to keep the conversation going.

"Well, you know Kurt and Bobby. Warren is on the team as well." Hank seemed to relax a little, making this a little less painful. "Logan joins them sometimes, but you know Logan he'd join ten teams if it meant more fighting." Hank's smile was barely there, but Raven let her own shoulders relax into this polite chit chat that talked around the questions in Hank's eyes. "A former student of Emma's, Monet is with them currently, but she isn't normally a member of that team."

"Small team then." Raven spoke distractedly. "If it's only got three full members."

"It'll grow again. They always do." Hank was staring at her. "Maybe,"

"No." Raven said it softly, but it was firm. She wasn't going to sign up for Kurt's team.

"Are you going to stay Raven?" Hank asked her.

"I don't know." Raven sighed and tried to focus on her meal again.

"Still living on the run dear?" Emma interrupted them and her voice was almost weary. "No plans for the future?" It sounded like an insult.

"I don't know," Raven didn't let Emma get her angry, the woman wanted her to be. Raven was catching on to Emma's tricks, how Emma used Raven's anger to make Raven do things like see the Xmen, or meet her at Penn Station. "This isn't home anymore." She could feel it now, her doubts about where home was to her over the years were clearing up, and this wasn't it.

There was an awkward silence, and when Neal spoke he was just a little too loud to pull off casual. "I was thinking of running a Danger room session before the other team got here. Anyone want to join me?" Not the smoothest change of subject she'd ever seen. Raven looked down and hid her slight smile at his bumbling attempt. It freed her to eat while others talking about programs they could run.

After breakfast Tessa left, claiming to have more work to do, leaving Raven alone with Emma. They made their way to the gym, and thankfully no one followed.

…………….

"I'd say you've made progress." Emma smiled at her while leaning back against a wall. Raven was in the process of sitting up, her arms feeling bulky. She glanced at the extra mass and then let it fade back to her own toned but sleek form. "I believe that was twice what you used to bench press."

"You were right." Raven stood up and glanced at the weights again. It had been Emma's idea to let her arms shift before trying, and while it wasn't attractive it got results. Now if they could find a way to do that without the masculine arms Raven would be happy.

"Yes I was, wasn't I?" Emma said smugly, while holding the bottled water out for Raven. "You lost a bit of water in your shift, looks like you've been sweating." Raven just glanced at her wet shirt and then ignored it while taking deep drinks out of the bottle. "You don't need to drink water to build mass. Perhaps we should see if you are pulling it out of the air like Robert does."

"Bobby," Raven shook her head and chuckled. "He prefers to be called Bobby."

"But he was named Robert." Emma answered as if that was all that needed to be said.

"He didn't used to want people calling him that. He thought it was too stuffy."

"Yes, well." Emma grinned just a little. "It does annoy him when I call him Robert."

"You live to annoy people now don't you?" Raven shook her head and went quiet, thinking of how that really did describe Emma, a woman that liked to annoy.

"I don't call you Christine." Emma said it gently. "Because I assume you have a good reason for going by Raven now, but Robert is just trying to not grow up. He tries to pretend he is still a teenager, and it really is ridiculous for a grown man to aspire to nothing more than video games and jokes."

Raven had to agree with Emma, Bobby normally did act immature, but there was more to him than that. She was quiet for a moment, just leaning back against the machinery while in deep thought. "Tessa named me Raven." She spoke quietly. "It was something to hold onto her for a while, but then it just became who I was. Tessa got it from a poem."

"The Raven, by Edgar Allen Poe." Emma seemed to look to the left unseeingly, clearly trying to remember something. "But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling," Emma paused as she tried to remember the rest of that small piece of the poem and Raven just watched her, "Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -- What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking "Nevermore."" Emma shook her head and grinned. "Hardly the most romantic poem to use to get a name for a lover. An ominous bird of yore."

Raven smiled just a little at Emma's response and her recital. "My powers were an embarrassment to me," Raven sighed. "She made them special with that poem and the story about how Raven's foretold death. She gave me my codename when I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't bleak and cold to me. A codename that didn't make me feel like I was pretending to be more than I was, because really, in a battle I was always the weakest one."

"Well, it suits you. Those black birds have some dignity of their own." It was actually nice of Emma to say that.

"Nevermore." Raven wrapped her arms in front of her while thinking of that word. "A motto I can live by."

"You're strong enough to make that word stick now Raven." Emma told her, almost seeming like she could read Raven's mind. "Nevermore to the Professor, to the teammates treating you like a child, whatever you need it to mean. It isn't just your mutation changing that gave you that strength; there is more to you than used to be there."

Raven wasn't sure what to do with yet another compliment from Emma. A semi shy, "Thank you," was all she gave in response. She had changed, and that was why the Professor was underestimating her now. It would hopefully be his downfall, but then what?

"We should probably start towards the meeting. They are all here now." Emma glanced down at Raven's wet shirt for a moment and it reminded Raven to change her clothes. They dried and darkened and Raven stood taller in leather pants and a leather halter, with a leather jacket falling down to her knees. It was a copy of the outfit Lady Heather had gotten her years ago and it earned her a slight smirk and raised eyebrow from the blonde, but Emma just stared for the door.

Emma spoke over her shoulder, "Afraid they won't take you seriously?"

"This probably won't even help." Raven muttered as she took long strides to keep up with Emma. Emma stopped and turned to look at her again, forcing Raven to stop.

"The blue hair does make you look different than when you were younger, but tie it back." Emma studied her and Raven found herself listening. "Can you put a tattoo on?" Emma's hand reached out and a finger trailed over the exposed flesh of Raven's stomach, circling her belly button. It made Raven twitch a bit in surprise. "Blue to match your hair, perhaps a half a design fading into your pants." Emma's finger trailed in a semi circle in the path she wanted a tattoo. Emma's fingers were a little colder than Raven's body, but not horribly cold.

"Why?" Raven asked instead of commenting on Emma taking a liberty like this. She was curious about the reason for something like that.

"They haven't seen you exposing this, and it would show you've changed. Bring the waist of the pants down and put a tattoo on, you could even leave the jacket off and enhance your arms a little, not that you weren't impressive years ago, but to make you seem stronger." Emma looked into Raven's eyes. "I know how image works and how to manipulate it and people to get them to respect you. It was practically taught from the crib in my family."

Raven took off the jacket and let Emma see her let it go, and how the jacket just ceased to be when it wasn't in contact with her anymore. She closed her eyes and imagined a design that she etched into her skin, a blue arch with triangles off of it making it look vaguely sun like. It wasn't small, it would be hard to miss. She then pulled her hair back while it started going blue again, and a leather band came into existence to hold it back.

"There." Emma looked pleased. "Tough, strong, but not too refined." Raven wished for a mirror to see what Emma was seeing, but they started walking again. "You're more nervous today than I thought you'd be. You've already won over most of them dear."

"Warren never really liked me." Raven sighed as she imagined how he'd react to her news. "And Bobby won't be able to accept that the Professor isn't a saint."

"That was what you expected from all of them." Emma pointed it out as they went through the doors to another hall. The sound of voices rose and Raven grimaced as she heard Bobby's angry tone, even though she couldn't hear the words just yet.

"Yes, but it looks like Bobby's about to deliver." She sighed as they got closer to the noise.


	35. Hellfire 2 Part 16

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

"So you're just going to believe HER?" Bobby was pointing at Tessa and Raven didn't like the way he did it with hostile accusation. "She's a Hellfire Spy!" His voice rose again and Raven stepped into the room filled with Xmen and Bobby tossing anger around. Tessa just sat still at the table and didn't respond to this. Raven just stared at him. "She's one of them."

"No she's not." Storm kept her voice calm. "She's always been one of us."

"That's bullshit. She fought us, I was there."

"I could hardly break my cover for a small battle." Tessa finally defended herself.

"You're just," His words made her lose focus and her eyes started to glow. "Shaw's little whore."

People started yelling, arguing, and Raven couldn't raise her voice enough to be heard. She watched as Tessa was approached by an angry Bobby and she moved forward, ignored by the arguing Xmen to slam her fist on the table. The sound reverberated. When people turned to stare at her she growled out in a controlled non yell, "Shut up, you don't fucking know anything about her or this because the PROFESSOR wouldn't let you know." Her fists clenched by her side. "But let me tell you about her, she paid the highest price for his fucking dreams and you have no fucking right to call her names or threaten her."

Raven glared at Bobby, who was looking a little stunned. "Raven?"

"Bobby." Her voice held no friendliness. "You ever threaten her again, call her names again, and I will kick your ass. Just grow up and stop blaming the messenger." She stared him down, full of threat. The old her never would have made this threat, but Raven was stronger now and could fight for Tessa if she needed to, not that Tessa wasn't able to fight for herself, but this was important to Raven. She wanted to be able to protect Tessa just this once. She'd spent years hating herself for not being able to do it before. Maybe it was making her overreact to Bobby, Raven considered.

After a moment Raven spoke a little softer. "You were my friend and I told you about Tessa once. If you don't remember and I know you don't, it's because the Professor stole that from you. Don't blame her, don't blame me, the Professor is the one that thought he could erase whatever he didn't like. He thought that his dreams and desires were more important than our lives and that he could do whatever he wanted for his cause. Even Magneto wasn't that evil." She shook her head, "We can prove it."

"But," He looked completely lost for words. Raven hadn't expected that just seeing her would do that to him, but the fight seemed to seep out of him when Raven confronted him.

"We can go to cerebra and get this straightened out." Jean spoke up. "See what he's done, and then we can discuss it. I know from my own memories that Tessa was an Xman, she lived here before you ever joined us Bobby, but the Professor erased that memory."

Bobby just nodded, looking defeated. Raven let out a breath she'd been holding as Kurt and Warren nodded, looking dejected. Jean led them out of the room.

"Well, once they are done we can discuss what to do next." Scott sighed and glanced around the room. "I'm thinking sending the students on a field trip right before the Professor gets home might be a good idea. Raven,"

"No." Raven could tell he was about to send her away from the action again. It was habit by now. "I'm the only one he can't sense, read or control. You'll need me." She stared into his eyes, her voice softer. "Don't do this to me again Scott, this time you really do need me. I was built to go after telepaths."

"She's right." Storm stood up for her. "She's the only one here that he can't sense. That could prove important."

"She deserves to be able to face him." Tessa added quietly. "You people were betrayed, but Raven and I, what he did to us really goes beyond that."

Emma spoke up. "Raven stays." Raven had never had so many people stand up for her right to be part of a mission before. She found she couldn't speak up herself because of the shock of it. Silence filled the room for a moment.

"Okay, okay." He shook his head. "We'll send some of the others."

When Scott moved to talk with someone else Emma moved to stand beside her and spoke quietly. "The change in clothes does no good if you beg for respect." Emma scolded her. "I've seen your strength, but you're reverting to a child in front of these people. No one respects someone that begs for it." Raven's jaw clenched but she didn't respond to the jab. She could see the truth in it. It was something Lady Heather would have said to her, know her strength and use it. Raven hadn't when faced with Scott, not enough, and now she needed to remember that. Being here made her forget that, but she wasn't going to do that again.

……………………..

It was nearly dinner time Raven noticed distractedly as she sat out in Storm's atrium. The rustle of leaves was relaxing and she had needed to get away from the others. The meeting had been tense and that's why as soon as it was over she snuck out here, away from them all.

"Darlin'" A masculine voice spoke softly, and Raven turned to face Logan coming towards her. "You doing alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Raven sighed and shifted to face him while still sitting on the bench.

"Liar." He smiled at her and took the seat next to her. "If you're doing fine you'd be the only one in the mansion." He stared out at the small pond Storm had included in the atrium with Raven, both quiet for a comfortable length of time. That was something Raven had always liked about Logan, she didn't need to always be talking with him.

"What if this doesn't work?" She finally asked him. "If we start this and he just wipes everyone's mind again."

"You heard the plan. It's solid. Sure there is risk, but we've got a good team and Tessa is working on giving you a backup plan that the rest of us won't know. You two are safe from his tampering." Logan shook his head. "He really should have thought of that before he pissed the two of you off."

"Yeah," her voice filled with disgust. There was a lot the Professor should have thought of.

"Darlin." His voice was tense. "I woulda killed every last one of them for ya. Still would." Memories of his offer to kill someone as they took her and Christy from the Hellfire club replayed in her mind and she knew he meant it. It touched her, knowing that.

"I would have had to break Tessa's cover to tell." She shook her head, her voice a bit shaky. "That was always the case. I couldn't tell about anything because of Tessa and what would happen to her." She looked up into his compassionate eyes. "What kind of man plans to do that to kids? To use them as hostages like that?"

"A heartless bastard." Logan actually answered her, she hadn't expected an answer. "A cowardly heartless bastard that takes little girls' love and uses it as a weapon and a cage."

"Yeah," She grimaced as she looked at the water in the pond again. "And I did love her. God, I would have done anything, anything at all he told me to do if he told me it would have kept her safe." The Professor had owned her thoroughly and at the time Raven had never known. "If he'd told me I needed to be a thief, an assassin, a prostitute, for Tessa I would have done it all. It makes me sick to know that, and to know while I was a good little girl, pretending to be happy just like he wanted, Tessa was being abused so completely for his dream." Raven shook her head as if trying to deny the truth but she didn't deny it. She knew, "I bought that man presents, I treated him like family. Nothing we do to him is going to feel like enough to me. If we turned him into a woman, wrapped him up and sent him to the Hellfire club it wouldn't feel like enough." Her voice cracked. "I want him to feel pain, unimaginable pain. I want him to feel helpless and hopeless and alone. I want him to lose everything he ever cared about and then I want him to die painfully. That's what I really want Logan, I want that." She went to wrap her arms around her body, but warm masculine arms beat her to it, pulling her closer.

"It's okay to want that darlin'. He hurt you bad and it's okay to want that." Logan held her gently and murmured that to her, absolving her of her guilt for her own feelings. "I'd want that. Nothing wrong with that." Raven felt a little trapped in his arms, but she forced her panic aside with a ruthlessness that time had taught her and let herself relax into his body. "Once its all done and said, if you need a little alone time with Chuck, I can get you in and look the other way."

"It's all fine and good to say that," Raven glanced around the atrium, "but he owns this place. No one's even mentioned that yet."

"That's cause Sage said she had a plan in the works. Said she'd take care of that." Logan let Raven pull away. "Figure she's probably had time to think of this. That girl is pretty damned good at what she does." Raven felt a lightness and pride fill her at Logan's words. That was her Tessa that earned Logan's praise and the man didn't hand it out lightly. "She says not to worry, I'm not gonna worry."

"Yeah, she's always been pretty good at anything she set her mind to." Raven smiled just a little and shook her head, remembering the teenage girl she'd loved so much and the many different things Tessa could do so easily that Raven had struggled with.

"Darlin'." Logan was talking a little slower and it put Raven on alert. "I've been wanting to ask ya something ever since Stormy told me what you'd said." Raven felt a touch of panic worried about the question, the details he might want. "She said what happened to you at that club, but what I don't get is what's going on with you, Emma and Sage now. If that place was that bad why aren't either of you doing something about Emma?" It wasn't a question filled with anger or accusation, he sounded like he almost knew the answer himself but just wanted it confirmed.

Raven would have liked to know the answer herself. She wasn't sure she did. Raven sat quietly trying to think of something to tell him. What she did know was that she'd already promised to not actually throw Emma to the wolves here and that meant not venting at Logan, who would take action rather than just listen to Raven complain. She took a deep breath and prepared herself to be diplomatic, something she didn't really enjoy being when it came to Emma. "Emma's," She struggled for words, "a bitch." She had to say it, "but there's more there. Always has been." Raven's eyebrows were drawn together like she was taking a very difficult written test, struggling with what to say. "She's trying to help me." Raven sighed heavily. It was true, it also left out a lot. Emma's help wasn't always kind. It often felt like a mallet to the head, but that was just Emma's way. Still it was a struggle to not complain about that.

"Kay, just wondered." Logan's eyes narrowed. "So in that club she never…" Raven felt her heart stop as he said that, asking her to say something that just wasn't really true at all. She didn't really know how to deal with this, so Raven lied.

"No, never." She whispered, but the grunt from Logan wasn't really sounding convinced.

"You afraid of her?"

"Of Emma?" Raven's voice actually rose a little in shock at the idea. "No." That no sounded much more real and Raven looked Logan in the eyes when she said it. She wasn't afraid of the blonde telepath.

"You ever wanna talk, you find me darlin'." Logan stared at her. "Get confused, angry, anything. This mission isn't gonna be a cake walk for you. Not that you can't do it, you always could do more than you did, but this is personal. Those are the missions that really eat at ya, the personal ones."

"Yeah." Raven nodded. This mission was already hard, she felt drained.

"And if anyone gives you a hard time, anyone at all, you come to me." Logan stood up, looking so much like an overprotective brother is was almost funny. It made Raven smile weakly at him. He went quiet for a moment, his hands curling into fists for just a moment. "Emma's calling for you. Want me to tell her to go to hell?" He had that far off look in his eyes that told Raven the call was telepathic and that her enhanced hearing wasn't letting her down.

"What she want?" Raven sighed as she stood up.

Logan just turned to stare at her again and it made Raven feel self conscious. "Says that Sage wants you in the Danger room. Looks like you have some secret weapon?"

Raven just gave him another weak smile and didn't answer that. Telling anyone else now would be a bad idea when going up against a telepath.

"Well, looks like the three of you have the Danger room for a while. The rest of us will stay away." He didn't push it. "But you sure about having Emma there? She's not immune to telepathy any more than Jean is."

"She already knows my secrets." Raven put her hands in her pockets and stood in front of him. "Look, I know its confusing with Emma, I'm confused, but I don't want to be defending her every time I turn around."

"I'll take care of it." Logan started off to go outside and Raven started walking in the other direction. Maybe if Logan said something other well meaning Xmen wouldn't lash out at the blonde. They really didn't have time for it now.

The danger room didn't look that different when Raven stepped into it, just metal walls and emptiness. Tessa stood in the middle of the room and when Raven looked up to the booth that normally housed the professor in her own sessions years ago, Emma looked back.

"I want to see what you're capable of now." Tessa looked at Raven as if she were putting together an idea of who she was and how they could use that. "I can't put together a decent plan without the data Raven. You and I will carry this mission." Raven felt a flutter of fear at what she was being trusted to do. She had only once been the main force and that was against humans while saving Mystique. This was just as important, but much harder. "He's been in and out of the others minds so often that I predict few will have enough mental defenses he can't bypass. He won't be afraid to use them against us if he is able to." Raven nodded that she understood. It was the same reason she never told Terrance the truth about her, this wasn't anything new to her, not being able to trust even the most trustworthy because of that man. "Emma," Tessa's voice rose a bit. "Could you start the program?"

The room transformed and it was almost magical. Raven stared as the plain and empty room became a copy of the hanger she'd seen that once when she and Emma came back to New York. "Nice."

"If we want to stop the Professor we have a lot of work to do." Tessa sighed just a little. "Don't hold back. Emma tells me that you are very capable of this, so do everything you can think of." Tessa's stance shifted and Raven's eyes widened a little as she realized the dark haired woman wanted to spar.

"I never could beat you Tessa."

"Things change. Try." Tessa gave her a familiar encouraging smile, one Raven had seen a hundred times in this room.

Raven felt rusty and wasn't doing well at all after about fifteen minutes of that Emma's voice interrupted them. "Raven, you are completely ignoring your new mutation. We can't afford for you to leave all your big guns at home." The blonde sounded irritated and bitchy. Tessa just raised an eyebrow at Raven as if agreeing. "And Tessa is hardly fragile. Why are you blocking so much more than hitting? I know you can punch."

"Well if it were you down here I doubt I'd have as much trouble." Raven glared at Emma. Trying to hit Tessa after everything they went through was hard.

"Well then perhaps we need to bring Emma down here." Tessa surprised Raven with that comment. Raven's eyes widened and she found herself wondering about her new strength and if she'd accidentally hurt the blonde. "Or not." Tessa was staring at her. "Emma start up a sparring program. We'll have Raven spar someone else for a little while. And Raven, go all out." Tessa's voice switched, became commanding, like the Mistress persona she had. Raven was a bit surprised to hear it, but then realized she'd heard it before. It was just that now she connected it to Mistress Tessa.

Raven wasn't sweating or breathing hard after a rather intense session with a featureless form. She'd hit hard and she'd even managed to use the extra arms she trained with to catch it off guard. Tessa's voice stopped it from attacking again. "Danger room, add the Professor's features to the sparring partner."

Raven's eyes narrowed as the Professor stood in front of her. It didn't matter that the man couldn't really stand. Her skin started to glow as she forgot to mask it and she clenched her fists. "Raven, get your anger out now, because you need to be clear headed later." Tessa spoke and moved toward the door. "I'll be in the booth."

………………….

Raven waited until she heard the door close and then just narrowed her eyes at the Professor look a like. She had so many fantasies about hurting the man that she wasn't at a loss for what to do now. Raven clenched her fists and shifted, long Logan like claws popped out of her hands and she growled at her opponent, sharp teeth clearly visible. Raven lunged forward with more speed than she'd shown earlier and slashed at the man, cutting a red mark across his stomach that should have been a killing move, but he just fell back and moved into a defensive position. Raven's feral grin and the rush in her body was her answer, feeling far more like the Wolverine than she'd ever thought she'd be.

The Professor lunged forward and Raven slammed her claws into his shoulders, but his momentum made them fall backwards, Raven falling on her back hard and his body keeping her from being able to move her arms. She shifted the claws off and kneed him in between his legs, pushing on him. This fake man was a lot stronger than the real would ever be. The claws came back out and she slashed at him, the way he didn't bleed was very unsatisfying.

"More real." Raven called out, pushing the limits of her voice activated power.

"He'll still be stronger than the real thing." Tessa told her.

"Fine." Raven's eyes narrowed as she noticed the slight flicker in his form at this Professor was reset, the damage erased and his expression was more real.

"Raven." His voice was the same and Raven didn't wait to hear what else he'd say she lashed out at him, grabbing him by the crotch and shoulder and tossing him into a wall. It wasn't nearly the effort she thought it would be. He grunted in pain when he hit it and Raven smiled. That was real enough.

While he worked to stand up Raven stood still and thought of another Xman, one that couldn't get his own revenge. Her form grew taller, wider, shinier. Large hands clenched into fists and Raven pulled one back to slam it into the wall, missing the Professor by mere inches as he moved. Peter's form was strong and the wall dented. The slam to her legs tossed her backwards and since she wasn't used to this much mass she fell. Raven rolled after the kick the Professor gave her ribs and shifted as she moved, keeping the shine and metal but shrinking to her own size. Growing too much was too hard, she wasn't ready for that yet. Water puddled on the floor and Raven nearly slipped as she got up, but she moved away from the puddle and blocked a kick at the same time.

She slammed her fist into his face, and with the feel of giving flesh she growled and slammed him again. "I hate you." Raven hissed as she straddled her fallen opponent and hit him hard enough to kill a normal man. "I hate you." She missed and dented the floor. He used that opportunity to grab her arm and roll over, pinning Raven under him. His eyes were so cold, but Raven just screamed, "I HATE YOU." A swirl of power and tentacles grabbed her opponent, pulling him up into the air. They swarmed him and latched onto his arms and legs while Raven stood up and glared. "You can't possibly hurt enough." She sent a message to the other part of herself and those tentacles pulled, ripping his body into four pieces. "But it would be nice if you could."

Raven closed her eyes to the blood and gore she'd left in the doubles place and closed her portal. It was good for more than just dimension hopping.

"Shall I reset it or are you feeling a bit calmer?" Emma's voice interrupted Raven's thoughts. "Can I say I'm certainly glad you don't hate me." Raven shifted back to her normal form without saying anything. Raven's expression was cold.

"Again."

"You really want more?" Emma asked and Raven turned to glare at the booth. "Okay, more." Emma reached down and flipped a switch and a new Professor was in front of Raven. Raven dodged his axe, which Emma seemed to feel he needed and got ready for another battle.

An hour later Raven was getting ready for another killing blow. Once the Professor was down it was Tessa's voice that spoke. "That's enough Raven." It was almost angry, and Raven looked up at the booth to see Tessa watching her. "There aren't many more ways for you to kill him."

"I can think of a few." Raven stared into Tessa's eyes, enhancing her own so she could actually see them from this distance. "But I'd need a few things." Raven was fully aware that Tessa most likely didn't like to see her like this. Raven's voice softened. "Tessa, they won't let me kill him. This is all I have." She ignored the tear trailing down her cheek. "He hurt us, hurt you, and I can't ever forgive that."

"Oh Raven." Tessa had tears in her eyes and Raven knew she shouldn't be able to see that from here, but she ignored the part of herself that told her to keep some secrets.

"Don't cry Tessa." Raven spoke gently. "My innocence died a long time ago. You don't need to cry for it." Raven sighed and turned to walk for the door without saying anything more. Raven walked into the locker room and showered while absorbing some more water to replace what she'd lost when the Professor's image drew blood. She let the warm water run over her naked body and sighed.

"My innocence died a long time ago." A cool voice mocked her. "No, you still have it Raven." Raven just opened her eyes to stare at Emma and shifted a bathing suit onto her body. Emma just smirked at that and then stared into Raven's eyes. "You do still have it, battered and bruised it may be." Her smirk faded. "Tessa doesn't loose her mask easily, but you were right, she was crying. I don't see that often and she's had more than enough cause in her life. She saw your pain in there, not the blood you shed and it made her cry. I'll admit it was an amazing display of pain Raven."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Raven shifted metal over her body in silent threat.

"You wouldn't hurt me like that. You wouldn't even spar with me." Emma glanced at the form and then back into Raven's eyes. "You act tough but you're just a scared and hurt little girl." Raven's hands shook. "Your daddy betrayed you worse than you ever imagined anyone could and you want to hurt him back, but you lash out like a berserker and it isn't pretty." Raven was starting to feel like she might actually be able to hit Emma after all, but then Emma's expression softened. "Are you okay?"

"Why can't you just ask that without all the crap?" Raven glared at the woman and turned the water of the shower off.

"Because it isn't crap and you need to think about it," Emma held out a towel and while Raven could have dried without it she took it and ran it over her arms to start. "You had no strategy except hit him hard and often. You can't do that when it's real."

"I know that." Raven tossed the towel aside and just absorbed the water on her, shifting her hair to look decent. "I know, and it isn't right, but I'll leave him alive." Raven glared at the towel instead of Emma, but Emma's touch on her shoulder made her look up.

Emma just stared into her eyes and something in them kept Raven from snapping at her. Raven was almost afraid to blink. The silence became awkward and Emma didn't do anything about it, she just rested her other hand on Raven's other shoulder. The telepath's voice was quite and soft when she finally spoke. "Don't let him drag you down Raven. Don't let him make you a creature of bitterness and pain, don't let anyone do that to you. There is a spark in you that is just too good for that and it would be a tragedy for it to go out." Raven had no idea what to say to that. She noticed Emma leaning closer and Raven felt shaky and nervous at this strange behavior, but the sound of the door opening had Emma standing back again. "Remember that Raven, you are too good for that life." Emma spoke one more time and then moved to leave, leaving a completely confused Raven behind.

"Raven?" Tessa's voice shook Raven out of her stunned stare in the direction Emma had gone and Raven finished leaving the showers. "Are you doing alright?" Well, that made it clear Emma hadn't told Tessa where she was going.

"Not a scratch." Raven gave Tessa a weak smile and finished leaving the showers.

"You showering in your clothes now?" Tessa looked at the clothes Raven had on.

"No, I'm not wearing any clothes." Raven smiled just a little and moved for the door Tessa had come in. "I could use dinner." She wasn't really hungry, but she did want out of this room.

"Okay, let's go raid the kitchen." Tessa seemed to be quoting something a young Raven used to say and moved to hold the door for her. Raven felt a wave of tenderness at the familiarity of that move.

Dinner was rather quiet and when it was over Tessa left Raven saying she had work to do, but that she'd be by later to tell Raven what the plan was. Raven walked past a few Xmen watching television, feeling a bit antisocial, and walked back into Storm's atrium. She loved what the woman had done with the place. It was relaxing and safe feeling. Raven found her spot near the water and pulled her legs up to wrap her arms around them as she thought about her day, her life, and the women that brought her to this point.

"Irene," Raven whispered, "am I doing the right thing? Can we do this or will this just be a huge mess?"

"You can do this." A voice startled her and Raven looked towards it to see a young girl with hair a darker blue than her own and yellow eyes stepping out of the shadows towards here. "Raven." The girl stood still, staring at her and Raven just stared back, a bit surprised that a teenager managed to sneak up on her. "I never expected you to end up in danger." The girl moved to sit on the side of the pond. "I left you in Austria because my life was too dangerous for you," Raven's eyes widened in shock, "and you ended up in Genosha when it happened. I heard, Irene told me, and I am so sorry."

"Mys…"

"No, I'm," Mystique smiled a little, "going by Foxx right now."

Raven shook her head and stood up. "Why are you here?"

"I'm just here to warn you Raven." Mystique stood up. "Not every Xman was manipulated. There are those that chose to follow him with their eyes wide opened, and one of them will be coming back here with him. Don't fall for it if Forge claims to see the light, that man is Xavier's right hand man in all of this."

Raven nodded and started to try and remember what she'd heard about Forge, but her mind wasn't working very hard because she was more focused on Mystique. It would have been nice if the woman were in her true form. "I've missed you."

Mystique smiled a little. "I've missed you too, but I still stand by what I said. We just weren't meant to be." Raven swallowed hard, trying to get around the lump in her throat.

"I still love you." It wasn't an overly romantic love, but it was real and it was there with her respect for the woman. It was words she'd never really said before, and once again she knew she'd done Mystique a real disservice by staying quiet. The woman looked surprised and shouldn't. "You and I, I always thought we were good together, not great, but really good."

"Yeah, good." Mystique moved closer and pulled Raven into a hug. "And I love you too." Mystique whispered in her ear. "So you be careful with your battles Raven, because I'd hate for you to get hurt." Mystique squeezed her tighter. "And who knows, maybe you'll find a great love someday. If you do, let me know, because I'll be doing background checks on any of your lovers." Mystique laughed just a little.

"I'm beginning to think great love only exists for children." Raven sighed and reluctantly let Mystique go. "Or maybe you, but when I love with everything I just lose everything."

"No, no, it's real." Mystique stared into Raven's eyes. "It's real and it's out there for you. Hard to find, so if you find it hold on really tight. Don't let anything stop you. Having Irene was worth the pain of losing her."

"But she loved you just as much as you loved her." Raven sighed heavily. "No one loves me like that, and I wonder if anyone ever has."

"I loved you just as much as you loved me." Mystique spoke quietly. "But sadly, we only loved each other some. We weren't ready Raven. It was too soon perhaps, but we both went into it guarding our hearts. That's not the way to love."

"I wish I could have let you in." Raven felt waves of regret for what they never did, they never overcame their pasts for each other. "Maybe in some other reality you and I are great together. Maybe some Christy isn't so rigid and can run with you into whatever you get into when you aren't around me."

"Or maybe some Mystique is tired and just wants a home and a lover in some suburb." Mystique teased lightly. "She's watching football and playing on the internet while her lover works to support her lazy butt."

"Somehow I can't see any version of you doing that." Raven shook her head. When Mystique started to move it felt like the woman was leaving. "I need to talk with you." Raven's voice cracked as more serious discussions ran through her head. She reached out to take Mystique's hand, in an effort to make sure the woman didn't run off. "I need,"

"I'm not leaving. I like the paintings you left in my bedroom." Mystique gave her a soft smile. "I'll be there when you're done here."

"We're going to stop the Professor." Raven's words made it clear it was an invitation to join her.

"This one is yours. I want to help you, but Forge has a way of tracking me. It would put them on alert if they realized I was here, and if you find a little black box don't break it, I need it. I'll help with the clean up if you need me, I'll be right there." Mystique caressed Raven's hair. "Shapeshifter now, I'm impressed." The sound of talking reached them and Mystique pulled back. "I need to go, you take care." Mystique's expression changed, making her look younger. Raven struggled to not watch her walk away. Mystique always did blow into her life like a soft breeze, and just as hard to keep a hold of as a breeze she blew right out again.

Storm and Jean came into view and looked a little surprised to see Raven there. She tried just nodding hello and continuing her staring at the water, but both women moved to sit instead of walk on by. It reminded Raven of living at this mansion and the times she'd wished for privacy but couldn't get it, just those days she was in a mood and wanted just to be left alone. Her body language must have said something, because while Storm and Jean talked with her, they didn't talk about anything Raven didn't want to talk about, anything serious. They talked about the atrium, they talked about small embarrassing things that happened to them years ago, and they ignored the large elephant in the room that was the questions the Xmen had and the questions Raven wasn't in the mood to answer.

Raven excused herself before that truce on questions failed and went to her room to prepare for bed hours before she'd normally even consider it. She didn't plan to sleep just yet, but she did need to think.

…………………

"Raven." Tessa's voice interrupted Raven's staring match with the ceiling. She turned her head to see Tessa in the bathroom doorway. "You are a difficult woman to find." Tessa spoke softly while stepping into the room. "Emma couldn't find you, so I thought I'd try here."

"Why was she looking?" Raven sat up and swung her legs off the side of the bed.

"She was looking for me. I can't use my telepathy right now." Raven didn't like that answer and she looked into Tessa's eyes for a clue as to why she couldn't use that power. "I ran into some problems and had to try and create a shield like yours to protect myself. Taking it down right now isn't an option." Tessa sat down so elegantly on the side of the bed with Raven. "That isn't what I came here to talk to you about." Tessa shifted on the bed so that only one foot fell to the floor and she faced Raven, who had to copy her pose. "I have a few more questions about what you are able to do with your powers. They were more developed than I thought they'd be so soon after you received them." Raven didn't bother explaining the training she got while Christy was in her body, or that hanging around with a shapeshifter like Mystique was bound to teach her something. "And I am worried about your tendency to glow when you're upset."

"I can control that if I want to."

"Okay." Tessa was looking at her, her eyes moving over Raven's form and it felt intimate. "As you may have guessed I want to confront him as he's coming off the plane, before everyone's mental shields alert him to something being wrong."

Mystique's words earlier put Raven in an awkward position. "There's more." Raven grimaced a little. "Forge is going to fight us, he's working with the Professor, I mean really working with him."

"How do you know this? I wasn't aware you'd even met the man." Tessa was very alert looking. Raven couldn't lie, she'd made a promise to Tessa years ago that they didn't lie to each other, but she couldn't tell the truth because Mystique trusted Raven to not get her arrested or captured. Raven stared at Tessa with a slightly pleading look in her eyes. "You can't tell me?" Tessa sounded a little surprised at that. "Can you tell me how sure you are of this? Storm will have a hard time accepting this. Could you be wrong?"

"No, I'm not wrong. I," Raven sighed, "trust the woman that told me completely. If she says he's trouble, he's trouble."

"Okay." Tessa almost looked like she had a headache for a moment, but she just shook it off. "One problem at a time. I want to find out more about what you can do, so we'll be running you through a few shifts to see your limits."

"We shouldn't do that on the carpet then." Raven glanced down at the floor she'd probably make quite wet.

"No, I want you to maintain mass. That puddle you make would be a giveaway as to what your vulnerabilities are. I don't want anyone here making that connection." Tessa found vulnerabilities? Raven wanted to ask what they were, she knew Christy had been afraid of fire, but was there more?

……………….

They were up late so when familiar pounding on her door woke Raven up Raven wasn't happy. "Go Away." She called out as loud as she dared.

"You really aren't a morning person are you? I'm surprised you picked morning for the painting you were working on for me if this is how you react to a new day." Emma sounded amused. "I brought some of my coffee for you. Let me in dear."

"Are we being attacked?" Raven asked while staring up at the ceiling.

"No, I wouldn't be out here with coffee if that were the case." Emma sounded a little irritated.

"Is the mansion on fire?" Raven rolled to hug her pillow to her body. "No, I'm betting it's not. Why the hell can't I get some sleep? Tessa keeps me up late and you wake me up early. No, go away." Emma's laugh through the door was a surprise, and when Raven took a moment to think about what she said she blushed. "No we didn't…" She stuttered and then just groaned as Emma knocked again.

"Dear, I will make you drink this coffee whether its nice and hot or cold. I'm not leaving." When Emma said that Raven finally rolled out of bed and went to open the door. Emma was dressed in white, which was familiar, and she smirked at Raven. "Here," Emma handed Raven a coffee cup and then reached out to the table in the hall and grabbed another. "Let's go inside." Emma motioned for Raven to get out of her way and Raven just stared at her, ready to tell her no for a moment, before finally just giving in and moving to the side to allow Emma in. "You slept through breakfast." Raven glanced at the clock to see that she had. "So Tessa kept you up late?" Raven sighed as she closed the bedroom door while Emma teased her. "Things going that well between the two of you?"

"No," Raven took a sip of the cup she'd been given. "It was work."

"Shame, Tessa seems like she could use a rough tumble or two. She'd rather rigid now isn't she?" Emma took a sip of her own cup while Raven glared at her. "I'd offer, but with the two of you sharing a bathroom like this, well," Emma smiled at her, "unless you'd like an encore of the last time you watched?"

Raven turned away and resisted the urge to think of that time. "Why are you here?"

"Because the children are being rounded up for a field trip, the Xmen are arguing over who has to take the little monsters in spite of this being settled yesterday, and Tessa is working on the computer and isn't any fun to try and talk to when she has apparently a dozen things she's trying to do. You weren't busy and I was bored."

"Any chance I'll luck out and they'll send you on the field trip?" Raven asked, her tone weary and irritated.

"Not likely. All telepaths are given a pass on the field trip and you know it. I'm needed here." Emma seemed too smug. "Do you like the coffee dear? I had to have this delivered yesterday, after I had a cup of whatever Jean thinks passes for coffee it was a must."

"Never drink Jean's coffee, she doesn't actually drink coffee herself unless she hasn't slept and she only makes it to stay awake so it's always too strong." Raven sat down on the bed and took another sip.

Emma's voice was softer, concerned, "Are you ready Raven?"

Raven let out a humorless chuckle. "I have to be don't I?"

"Yes, I suppose you do, but that doesn't mean you are."

"Just nerves." Raven stared into her coffee cup. "I'll be fine." Emma's hand entered Raven's field of vision, grasping Raven's cup and taking it away. Raven let the blonde have it and watched as both coffee cups were placed on the night table.

"I'd say by watching your danger room session that you've been imagining this for years." Emma rested a hand on Raven's knee while staring into her eyes. "I know it probably won't be as bloody as you'd like, but surely you want to see his expression when he realizes what you've done to him, how you've destroyed his network of lies." Raven wondered if she should shift pants on, since she'd just been in a long tshirt when she answered the door and she could feel Emma's hand on her skin, her eyes fell to the offending hand distractedly and then back up to Emma's face. "Revenge doesn't make it better, but it can feel good on it's own."

"You really shouldn't be preaching revenge Emma, if I took it to heart you'd be in trouble." Raven spoke flatly and shifted her leg so that Emma's hand fell off of it.

"True," Emma nodded her head slowly once as if conceding a point, "but you have absolutely no desire to hurt me. You don't hide it well, I know you like me. You hate that you do, but you do like me." Emma's smug smile had Raven grinding her teeth. "So your threats are nothing but amusing, because I know you have no intention of ever following through with them."

"I wouldn't bet on that if I were you." Raven told Emma coldly and shook her head in disgust at Emma's chuckle. The woman didn't take her seriously at all.

"So I was thinking," Emma acted like Raven hadn't spoken at all, "that you actually still owe me a painting. You never did finish the last one."

"What?" What did painting have to do with anything right now? Raven thought to herself, wondering at the leap of topic Emma just made. "It was destroyed, I don't have to make you another."

"You weren't done, so technically you never did deliver a completed painting." Emma picked up her coffee again, looking pleased with the argument she was starting. Pleased, Raven's mind went over that thought again while studying Emma and seeing that the woman did actually want an argument. With a slight smirk Raven decided not to play, it would irritate Emma more.

"I guess I'll see if they left anything from breakfast or if I need to actually cook." Raven stood up and moved to get her own cup back. "Thanks for the coffee." Raven shifted into jeans and a tshirt, while moving to the door.

"It's rude to leave a guest like this." Emma objected.

"You aren't a guest, you're a parasite." Raven couldn't resist the jab as she grabbed the door to start to open it. "At best you're a pest, at worst…"

"You won't find a good rhyme Ms. Dr. Seuss." Emma stood up regally to follow Raven to the kitchens. "So lets get you ready for your big battle with Daddy."

"He's not my dad." Raven's amusement at their exchanges fled.

"No, but you did think of him like that once. All of these Xmen were overly attached to the old man." Emma walked past Raven into the hall. "Really quite clever of him. Even if anyone decided to fight him, they'd always hesitate to hurt daddy. His planning was quite clever, but he did underestimate a few people." Raven closed the door behind them and walked along side Emma in the wide halls. "He'll find that out now won't he Raven?"

"Yeah." Raven sighed, wondering if he really would. Emma moved closer and reached out to hold Raven's arm, as if Raven were escorting her through the halls.

Emma was so close and spoke quietly. "Shape shifting is a more complex power than my new powers, I'll admit that, and you are doing amazing. I am impressed dear, you haven't had those powers long." Raven felt a blush on her cheeks as she realized that compliment actually did mean something to her.

"Thanks." Raven muttered and noticed Storm walking down the hall, giving them a strange look. Raven pulled her arm out of Emma's hand and moved to the side behind Emma so that Storm could pass.

"Morning Raven." Storm looked serious and not in the mood to chat. Still her eyes strayed to where Emma was touching Raven again. "Emma." That one word held disapproval and clear dislike.

"Ororo." Emma's one word back was cold. The tug on Raven's arm had her moving again. Raven gave Emma a wary look as she noticed the woman taking up her spot next to Raven again, with her hand on her arm. Still since that stopped as they went down the stairs Raven didn't call her on it. It wasn't worth the smug teasing she'd get for saying anything, Raven told herself, and it didn't really bother her enough to put up with Emma's word games.

After finding a bite to eat, Raven left for the library, wanting to kill time and get away from Emma for a while. The woman was up to something, and Raven found herself not wanting to know what it was this time. She really didn't know how to deal with this new complication with Emma now. She was too touchy and complimenting Raven a bit too much. It was strange and not really comfortable, but how could Raven say stop being nice to me? That just didn't make sense.

"Raven." Tessa didn't sound very happy as she stepped into the library, "ETA on the Professor is thirty minutes." Raven sighed and put the book down she'd been attempting to read. It wasn't like she was having luck concentrating anyhow. "The children left an hour ago, and our team is all that's on the grounds." Our team, it sounded weird. This group was hand picked for those most likely able to go against a telepath of the Professor's power. "You need to get into position and I'll cover for you so that the others don't see you."

"Okay." Raven stood up and just stood there for a moment in front of Tessa, hesitant to leave. "You be careful." Raven whispered to her ex lover and reached out a hand slowly to touch Tessa's hand. "I mean it. I really don't think I could handle seeing you get hurt for real." It had haunted too many of Raven's dreams for years, the reality of it might completely undo her.

"I'm hardly new at this Raven. I'll be fine." Tessa squeezed her hand. "Now go, just like we talked about last night. Stick with the plan as long as you can. I've disabled the cameras to the hanger for fifteen minutes. The Xmen will get into position in fifteen minutes. You need to be ready before then."

"Okay." Raven's eyes became determined as she moved for the elevator. She had to hide once on her way as Jean was moving to the last minute meeting Tessa was calling to clear the way for Raven. Raven finally stepped into the hanger with a sigh and looked at the pile of artwork for the yard that was sitting in the corner waiting for someone to actually haul it up. It had been there for a week if what Tessa said was true and was a familiar view here. Shifting as she walked Raven's skin went metal and her muscles gained the strength she'd need to lift the statue of a young woman rather than drag it to the closet. If she dragged it, there would be marks someone might notice. It was heavy and Raven struggled with it for twenty feet and shoved it away. With one last look at it Raven took in the details she'd need, before she closed the door and moved to take its place.

Her skin went granite looking and Raven took the features of the statue on as her own, her skin hardened and Raven stopped breathing, even though it was just her in the room. She stopped her heart and made a conscious effort to even smell like stone. She stared straight ahead unblinking and became a living statue that would hopefully even fool Logan.

Raven enhanced her hearing and waited.

Rogue walked in and moved to one of the planes. She opened a panel to the engine and started to work on something. Raven didn't move at all, but Rogue was in her line of vision occasionally. In a few more minutes Storm came in and moved towards Raven, which made Raven a bit nervous, especially when Storm started staring at her, but then the woman moved to stare at a few other statues and Raven could see a map of the gardens in Storm's hand. The woman sat down and started to try and figure out where to put what statue. Storm actually caressed Raven at one point, but she didn't know Raven wasn't a statue.

The hum of an engine reached Raven's ears and a minute later the clank of the ceiling doors opening filled the hanger along with sunshine. Storm had little flecks of lightning traveling over her skin, barely visible to Raven's enhanced vision. It was her stronger natural defense against telepathy. The loud engines of the new plane quieted and Raven waited tensely for the man and his stooge to come out and play.

"Hey Professor." Rogue's southern drawl filled the room after a clank and Raven knew that was the start. Rogue was good, she didn't sound at all suspicious or upset. Her mama taught her well, Raven thought with a touch of satisfaction. Storm however had to unclench that fist Raven could see.

Jean, Logan, Emma and Tessa were out there doing their parts out of Raven's line of sight. That was their main team, they kept it small, just those with some natural defenses against the Professor. Another group was nearby in case this turned to hell. And yet another group was with the children, but were also ready to move if Tessa or Raven didn't contact them, but their move would be more public and destructive. Tessa took no chances with this, there were plan B's, C's, Raven wouldn't be surprised if there was a Plan Z.

"Hello Storm." The Professor's voice grated on every last nerve Raven had but she didn't move, didn't blink. "I'm surprised to see you here still."

"Tessa wanted to stay a little longer." Storm had it, the voice was right. "She has something she's working on." Storm sounded normal, none of her anger showed. The whir of a machine, most likely the Professor's strange hoverchair and the clank that was regular enough to be Forge's footsteps let Raven know the men were in motion.

Hopefully plan A wouldn't fail too quickly, but it would fail. There was no doubt in Raven's mind. That was why she was part of plan C.

Storm spun around quickly, suddenly, the idea to catch them off guard. Raven stared unblinkingly as lightening arced towards someone just out of her sight still. It was frustrating to not be able to turn her head but Raven just listened as a cracked but no cry of pain followed. Storm was in motion and Rogue was in the air, for just a moment, before she fell for no visible reason. Raven just stood still and watched Mystique's daughter land hard on the ground and not get up. Oh god, this was one of the hardest things she'd had to do for a mission. What made Rogue fall, had the Professor gotten into her mind or was it some strange weapon Forge made? Not matter what it was, how bad it was, she had to do nothing, just watch. In other missions when the teams didn't want her in the action she was well out of the action. She'd never had to watch or hear them get hurt.

Storm screamed and Raven couldn't even turn to see why. It stopped and the silence was eery. The Professor wouldn't kill them, so they had to be okay, Raven told herself as she waited. The whirl of the hoverchair started again. "Thank you Forge." The Professor's voice reached her even if she couldn't see it. "Something is very wrong here."

"Storm's okay, my new electroinhibitor doesn't seem to have done too much damage." Forge spoke and Raven was repeating in her own mind, don't move. Still as a statue, don't move. "Do you think they've been possessed?"

"I'd like to believe that." The Professor's chair started to come into her line of sight and he was shaking his head. "Storm was blocking me as we were landing, and it might be an enemy or it might be something else."

"How many are here Charles." There was the sound of metal on metal, something being assembled.

"I sense three more, but there may be four. Storm mentioned Tessa and I haven't been able to read Tessa since she returned." His answer was almost correct, but he was missing one. Raven made sure she wouldn't start to glow, focused on her appearance, as she waited for the second wave. "I don't sense any children. They should be here." The Professor's voice was cold and calculating.

"Oh we didn't want you anywhere near children Charles." A cold voice called out, barely restrained anger clear and Raven had never heard Jean sound like that before. "Forge, we aren't possessed we just aren't under mind control any more. He's not the nice old man he appears to be." Raven couldn't see her but Jean was sounding like she was at the doors to the tunnel, the one that lead to the mansion. The Professor's eyes narrowed and it was clear he was using his powers, Raven had seen that look on his face a hundred times. His slight wince was heartwarming. He wasn't overpowering anyone easily.

"What are you talking about?" Forge acted innocent and Raven wished she could call out and tell Jean he wasn't, but Tessa had made a decision about not telling the others yet and Raven would follow it.

"Chuck here doesn't practice what he preaches." Logan's voice entered from somewhere higher, but Raven couldn't tell where. A crash and something rolled along the ground towards Raven as Logan's landing on the box in the room broke it and let various engine parts roll. Logan probably didn't know why he had to do that, but it did clutter up more of the floor, narrowing the path that the Professor could take out of the hanger to one closer to Raven. "He's been telepathically erasing things from our minds and its stops today. You hurt our teammates too much. This one's for Raven." Logan moved in and Raven watched the man that was more a brother than she ever really thought she'd have dodge a shot of something from where Forge stood. He was rushing the Professor and shots missed him three times before he rammed into something red, a ball of some forcefield around that old bastards chair. "You bastard!" Logan yelled as his claws worked to try and break the field. "How could you do that to little girls like that? Use them like that. I'm gonna invite Raven to your cell and let her rip your testicles off Chuck." Logan growled and moved to dodge another shot, before a gun flew through the air towards Jean, too controlled to be anything but Jean's telekinetic powers controlling it.

Raven thought as she noticed the red ball of a forcefield start to flicker that perhaps it wouldn't get down to Plan C. While she'd love to be the one to take him down, she would only do that if Jean and Logan got hurt. It made her not want to be the hero this time. She was hopeful until she heard Jean scream.

"That gun is designed to only allow someone with cybernetics like my hand, use it." Forge spoke so calmly as that gun did something to Jean. Raven felt her neck move a little before she stopped herself from looking. God, Jean was down.

"That is quite enough Logan." The Professor's voice was harsh and the slashing sounds stopped. Logan collapsed like Rogue had, the Professor got him. Logan would have been better off getting shot, it would have kept him down for less time with his healing factor.

Raven, Emma and Tessa were up. Round three. It wasn't comforting at all. Clearly Forge had something to keep telepaths out or Jean would have just gone in and stopped him. Emma wasn't going to be able to keep up with this battle, and Tessa could fight well, but this wasn't as easy as Raven had hoped. Why weren't the others winning, and if Storm, Rogue, Logan or Jean couldn't do it how the hell would the three still standing manage? The four strongest were down. Now she had to stand still while the other two walked into danger.

The Professor's chair moved a little closer as he navigated around the tools Rogue left out and some box sitting in the way.

Clapping filled the room, slow clapping. "Well done Charles." Emma's voice filled the room. "I'm surprised at you, taking down your Xmen so quickly." A gun clicked. "No, no, I'm not here to fight." Emma's boots clicked on the ground. Emma must have come to the same conclusion Raven did because this wasn't in the script. "I wanted to talk deal."

"What are you talking about Emma?" The Professor didn't sound like the patient old man he pretended to be. Raven stared ahead, watching out of the corner of her eye as Forge kept his gun on Emma, who kept walking until Raven could see her, until she was about six feet from the Professor.

"It seems you have a little obedience problem. I can let you know how widespread it is, but what I want is Raven. No chasing her, no attempts to take her from me. I want my slave back Charles, and if you keep chasing her I will have a hard time holding on to her." Raven's jaw dropped just minimally. No one saw. "Tessa betrayed you for her, so why would you want to keep Raven around?"

"I don't have her."

"No, you don't. But if I were to suddenly acquire her I'd want your word that she'd remain in my possession."

"And what would I get for this?" Oh, Raven's heart ached when she heard that. He was actually considering it, considering knowingly selling her into slavery for information. It shouldn't have been a shock but it still was. She had to focus, really focus, to not start glowing as Emma started to talk. Maybe if she believed Emma was serious she wouldn't have been able to do it, but she kept herself from glowing.

"You would get a list of who knows what you've been up to, the location of their backups in case you erase a few more memories, Tessa set those up so you don't have other ways to get them, and you'd have more leverage with Tessa again."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Tessa betrayed me. I take that very personally, don't you?" Emma's voice was cold and dangerous. It calmed. "I can make your whole problem go away Charles. Do we have a deal? It isn't costing you anything you already have."

He looked thoughtful. "You can't let the Xmen see her or it could get messy." And he just sold her out so easily. Raven felt even more disgust with him.

"Okay then." Emma smiled.

Another voice entered the room, Tessa's. "I'm never letting you touch her again. Never." Forge stepped further into Raven's slice of vision with his gun raised. It looked normal, like a regular bullet wielding gun, and that wasn't comforting. Tessa wasn't bullet proof. "You can't do this to her again Charles. Raven deserves more."

"Then you should have stayed quiet."

Forge was almost close enough to touch and Raven watched his outstretched arm and the gun in his hand. She could stop him, but her mission was the Professor. Raven struggled with that, if she stopped the man with the gun she might not get a shot at the other man, the one they really needed. She was having trouble trusting Tessa, something she didn't used to have before all of this. She wasn't sure she could trust Tessa to come out of this in one piece.

Raven didn't move as he walked past her. She did pray though, pray that when this was over she didn't look at her inaction right now with regret.

A fight broke out, Raven could hear a few gunshots, the slamming of one body against another and the gunshots stopped. Raven had to just listen and it felt like hell, but she did what she was told and stood still, waiting for the opening she needed. A tear trailed down her cheek unnoticed as she listened to a fight rage. When it stopped Raven found herself enhancing her hearing again, trying to hear everything.

"There." It was Forge's voice and Raven sucked in a little air. "She can't move Charles, but what are you going to do with her now?"

The whirl of the hoverchair started up and Emma moved to the side clearly anticipating the direction Charles would have to go, and partly ensuring it. Why didn't she take the chance to attack him, was she seeing something that Raven couldn't? Should she not?

Raven didn't realize that she normally clenched her fists before attacking, but she forced herself not to follow that old habit and watched as he came closer, Emma walking along side him, the other side, and in part herding him but he didn't see it. Tessa was vulnerable, Raven would need to move fast if she moved.

"Now." Tessa's voice called out quietly, perhaps too quietly for normal ears to hear over near Raven, but Raven lunged forward, watched as the Professor's profile started to turn towards the statue attacking him, but he didn't move fast enough. Raven hit the field around him once, twice, and was through it. Her fist moved with less strength into his cheek, spinning his head around and his body over. The man didn't move and Raven looked up to see Emma already in motion towards Forge and Tessa sweeping her legs out even while under some type of net, knocking him back but not over. A gun shot rang out and Emma fell backwards. "NO." Raven screamed and her power called a portal. Tessa slammed a fist into Forge's face hard enough to snap his head back and he fell, but Raven took just enough notice to see Tessa win the fight and then ran to Emma's side.

"Emma, Emma." Raven kneeled beside the woman, and was startled to feel a hard hand take her own. She stared down into Emma's diamond form.

"I'm okay. Secure the Professor. I'll help Tessa get that net off."

"Too late." Tessa stood tall with the net on the ground. It hardly seemed to be a threat to her. "Here." Tessa held out a familiar device, an inhibitor like the one Raven had worn in the Hellfire club. This one worked though. Raven took it in her hand and stared at it a moment, before taking a deep breath and turning to the Professor and snapping it around his neck. Raven then picked him up out of the chair rather than risk any other devices being built into it. Slinging him over her shoulder she turned to Tessa and noticed beyond her Jean standing up. A groan behind her sounded like Rogue. Her portal showed her Rogue and Storm standing up, it reminded Raven to close the portal.

The look Jean shared with Emma made Raven feel like she had missed out on something and they were quietly keeping it from her.

No one was seriously hurt. Tessa took control over Forge and insisted that until he was cleared of being controlled he was to stay locked up. Storm wasn't happy but it was more with the situation than Tessa. The danger room was Forge's baby, so they didn't lock them up in there.

Raven stood outside of the cells and stared at the Professor without saying anything. He was awake and angry, but they didn't need to hear him with the soundproofing if they didn't want to.

Logan moved up next to her, a comforting presence. "Hey."

"You guys took a dive didn't you?" Raven asked quietly while staring at the man that had been prepared to enslave Raven again.

"You did it Raven, you locked him up." Logan answered, but it wasn't really an answer. "You needed that didn't you, or you'd always feel like a victim."

"So you all took a dive. What if I couldn't do it?"

"We knew you could."

Raven turned away from him, her body shaking a little, but he pulled her around and hugged her tight. "We had faith in you. We didn't know you'd become a statue, but we knew that this was something you needed to do." Logan gently petted her hair. "You were under his thumb for so long, you needed this. Emma explained it, how you'd never feel free if we did it for you, and that made sense darlin', but you did it." He went silent but still played with her hair. After a moment Raven pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Didn't know you could become stone darlin'."

"I'm a shape shifter." She looked over his shoulder when she noticed motion over there, only to see Tessa and Emma there watching her. Emma had a bandage on her shoulder, where she was hit as she was transforming to diamond, it hadn't bled as she was the precious stone, but that woman got hurt working on a mission that really had nothing to do with her. Raven stared at the blonde, holding her gaze with an almost tender but definitely guilty expression on Raven's face. If Emma were a fraction of a second slower in turning to diamond that could have crippled her, the gun was powerful.

"So you really did have a secret weapon." Logan smirked at her, pulling Raven's attention back to him. "Go call the others before someone decides to run into traffic rather than babysit the kids another second. I'd do it, but they were told to only believe you, since this was your mission."

Tessa moved to Emma and Raven watched. Knowing they weren't able to talk telepathically didn't make it seem like they weren't. Tessa rested a hand on Emma's shoulder for a moment and her expression seemed to say I'm glad you're okay. Emma's answering smile seemed like a response of, you should have known better than to worry. When the two of them looked toward Raven, Raven gave them a weak smile. They tricked her, and it was yet another example of Emma's help feeling like a mallet to the head. Still with Emma being the only one with a lasting injury Raven didn't feel like calling her on it just yet.

As they started to walk down the hall, the two women flanked Raven. "No one doubted you for a moment when we brought up the fact that you should do it. No one argued that you couldn't, or that you shouldn't. They all believed in you Raven." Tessa spoke softly. "And they let you take the bad guy down by yourself."

"He wasn't so tough was he Raven?" Emma added, but then they turned into another room to make those calls.

"No he wasn't." Raven answered quietly. "Just standing there while everyone else got hurt was."

"We're used to a little pain, and we're okay." Emma reached out and took a hold of Raven's arm again while belittling her own injury, "And I must admit your concern about my wellbeing was heartwarming." Raven wasn't feeling up to answering it with a verbal jab, she just stood still waiting for Tessa to get the comm link up. When Tessa looked over at them Emma let go, and Raven moved closer to the screen to give the report that all was clear. The others could come home now.


	36. Hellfire 2 Part 17

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Once the comm connection was cut Raven found herself staring into Tessa's eyes, they just stood still and stared in silence for long enough to make Emma fidget. Emma's slight wince drew both women's attention to the blonde. "Tessa, that healer you found after," Raven's words trailed off. Everyone in the room could fill out the rest of the sentence themselves.

"She died, a sentinel killed her." Tessa's words were soft and Raven felt a wave of regret when she heard it. That woman had been kind and gentle to Raven and Christy when they needed it. "It wasn't long after she treated you."

"I hate this country." Raven glared at the floor.

"I know dear, so do I." Emma spoke gently and moved closer. "Things were so much better for us in Genosha, but now that it's gone this is what we have left."

"I could check and see if there are any other healers around. Perhaps a student." Tessa offered and Raven looked up, her eyes asking Tessa to.

"That would be nice. I wasn't looking forward to more cosmetic surgery to cover up yet another scar." Emma actually sounded amused. "If you had stayed with your old body I was going to refer you to my doctors dear. Your old wounds were leaving too many stories on your skin." Raven looked up to see Emma glancing at Raven's wrists, which weren't showing old scars now.

Raven could feel Tessa's eyes on them and then felt her hand on Raven's shoulder. The dark haired woman would be able to follow this conversation. "The others should be back within two or three hours." Tessa changed the subject. "The secondary team might be here in less than ten minutes."

"So you're saying the peace and quiet is over and now we have to deal with the riff raff." Emma sighed. "Is that it Tessa dear?"

"I wouldn't have put it that way." Tessa smiled just a little at the blonde and Raven found herself looking between the two again. There was tenderness there between them, Raven had seen hints of it during her captivity, but it was still there. Raven felt her heart clench a little at the thought that filled her mind, one that had been with her for a while and never had seen any evidence to prove it untrue. "We'll have a meeting to discuss our options now once everyone is back." Tessa's expression changed from opened and teasing to all business in a flash. "We do have decisions to make." Tessa turned to look at Raven. "I need you there Raven." A hint of pleading entered Tessa's voice, as if she were afraid Raven would leave now that the Professor was captured. "This isn't over yet."

"I'll be there." Raven answered Tessa. She wasn't going to go until she knew all was well, that the Professor and the threat he posed were really under control.

It was at that moment that Raven realized she wasn't going to stay. There had been a question in her mind before, when they were all working on the plan to rid themselves of the Professor. She did love the Xmen here, but this place would never be home again, and on some level she knew that, but even with the Professor gone it wouldn't be home. Tessa must have known that. It would explain her plea for Raven to stay for now.

………………….

The recap of the fight dragged on longer than the capture of the Professor took. Tessa didn't volunteer what the plan was now, and Raven did notice the dark haired woman was looking at her when she said that details were still being worked out. It was a clear hint that Raven was part of that as well. Raven would probably hear about that night during their talk. It was a habit of theirs that survived their years apart.

Raven was glad when that was over and Tessa pulled Emma away with a wave beckoning Raven as well. "I found out they have a student healer here, she's new and has just recently figured out how to activate her powers." Tessa spoke to Emma while Raven trailed behind them towards the med lab.

"She must be new, I haven't heard of her." Emma glanced back at Raven and smiled. "So do you think I should volunteer to let her practice on me?"

"It couldn't hurt right?" Raven shrugged. "Might as well try." Raven had no idea why Emma was asking, unless she was just trying to get Raven into the conversation.

"Raven you said you had been a nurse's aide. Could you get the bandages off of Emma so that our healer can see what she needs to work on while I go get the child?" Tessa didn't even wait for an answer and Raven stared after her ex as the woman walked away, wishing there was someone else to do this part.

"A nurse's aide? That's a far cry from physical trainer." Emma moved to sit on the med lab examining table, her legs dangling over the side.

"I did a lot of different things." Raven sighed as she looked at the bandage peaking out from under Emma's coat. "You'll need to take that off."

"Anything else I should take off?" Emma smirked at Raven and Raven glanced at the halter top that was safely out of the way, the bullet wound being higher, and Emma's shirt being barely there.

"No, that should do it." Raven moved to look through Hank's counters for a few things while she heard Emma removing the coat, but the soft hiss of pain had her turning around and moving toward the blonde. "Lemme help you." Emma had one arm halfway out of the coat, but it looked like any further motion hurt and she wasn't doing well finishing it. Raven reached out to gently help Emma by holding the arm of the coat and easing it off of her. That done Raven just finished up by helping Emma with the other arm. "I'm sorry, I should have thought of this. You shouldn't be moving your arm around so much." Raven felt a little disgusted with her slip up.

"Thank you." Emma sitting on that table was still nearly the same height as her standing and Raven found herself standing between Emma's legs when she took notice of where she'd stood.

"I'm going to go find," Raven pointed to where she'd been looking through the cabinets, trying to stop the slight glow of her skin, or the embarrassed flush under it as she backed away and then turned. "Yes, just need to find a few things. I mean you have stitches right?" She glanced back at an amused looking Emma. "So I need a kit to remove them after you've been partially healed."

"Does standing that close to me fluster you?" Emma's grin grew and Raven just tried to ignore her as she found what she was looking for and returned to Emma's side. "Or that you want to be closer still?"

That comment restored Raven's equilibrium and she glared at the blonde telepath, shaking her head. "You really are deluded." Her voice was calmer. "I was a nurse's aide, not a nurse. Be a shame if I made a stupid mistake wouldn't it?" A less than subtle threat was in her voice.

Emma just laughed at her. "No, you wouldn't hurt me. I think we both know that." Emma spread her legs a bit more, making it seem obscene as Raven came closer, needing to remove the bandage. Emma's voice went soft and quiet. "It's okay to just admit it Raven, you care about me."

Raven didn't respond, but her eyes focused only on the bandage as she gently loosened it, pulling it away. A soft hiss escaped her lips as she saw what that bullet had done to Emma's perfect skin. It was clear that the bullet hadn't gotten in far, but what resembled cracks branched off from the bullet wound, as if the diamond form had been damaged trying to form around the bullet to stop it. The bullet hole itself was the size of a nickel, but the whole damaged area was easily three or four inches in diameter. Raven asked quietly as a hand moved to hover just over the damage. Her hand shook a little as she pulled it away without touching. "I'm sorry." Raven whispered as she looked up into Emma's eyes.

Emma reached out and rested a hand on Raven's shoulder. "It's hardly your fault. Forge is the one that shot me."

"Yeah." Raven's voice was flat, resigned.

"Raven." Emma whispered and Raven noticed the woman leaning closer. When she didn't stop and Raven felt soft lips covering her own she froze in shock. Raven didn't respond at all, she didn't pull away, she didn't kiss back, she just stopped moving at all. Emma pulled back from her and whispered with a voice that held some command and heat. "Kiss me back dammit." Those soft lips returned to Raven's and Raven tentatively leaned in just a little, moved her lips against the blonde telepaths and it was the soft moan from her own mouth that broke the spell. Raven's eyes were wide as she stared at Emma, while she took a step back away from the telepath. "Raven."

"No." Raven shook her head and took another step back. "No."

"Emma," Tessa's voice entered the room and Raven tore her eyes away from the blonde to see Tessa giving them a slightly puzzled look. She didn't see, and for some reason Raven was relieved about that. "This is Annie, a healer." The girl walking into the room with Tessa was actually green, a light green. Raven refused to look at Emma, needed to get away, so she stared into Tessa's eyes.

"The kit is on the table. I'm leaving." Raven nodded politely to the young girl and walked past them, or tried to, but Tessa's arm reached out to grab her own, a question in the dark haired woman's eyes. "I have other things to do." Raven glanced back at Emma and was surprised to not see the woman smugly looking at her as if she'd enjoyed tricking Raven, it was more searching and it sent Raven walking away again.

Emma kissed her. The thought was bouncing around in Raven's mind and no other thing she tried to think about managed to block it out as she wandered outside and around the grounds. She'd kissed Emma back, Raven thought with disgust. What the hell was wrong with her, Raven thought angrily as she found herself on the edge of the lake. Raven sat and stared out at the water.

……………….

She found things to do everywhere that Emma or Tessa weren't for hours. Finally she found something else to think about other than that kiss and Raven found herself standing outside of the room that housed their prisoners while the others were having dinner.

The door opened, but Raven grabbed it and made sure it closed silently when she saw someone else standing in the Professor's cell with him. Tessa's voice reached her and Raven moved to stand where she could see and hear this without drawing too much attention to herself. Raven's skin shifted to blend in with the wall behind her as she watched Tessa. The woman was tense, practically vibrating with irritation and that wasn't normal for her.

Raven should have felt guilty for spying on her ex, but she didn't want to leave Tessa alone with that man and she didn't see any other guards in the room.

"And another thing Charles." Tessa's voice was harsh, angry and Raven enhanced her hearing to catch it all. It sounded like Raven was coming in on the tail end of the confrontation. "You were going to do it again. When Emma offered you a way to continue your lies you were going to make an innocent woman suffer for them. You disgust me Charles."

"The needs of the world outweigh the needs of the one." His voice grated on every last nerve Raven had, but apparently she wasn't the only one. A loud slap rang out and Raven stared wide eyed at Tessa, who held up her hand again as if to take another blow.

"You bastard. That isn't for you to decide. You never learn." Tessa's hand lowered slowly, the thick emotions in her voice calmed. "You sent me into that hell and that was bad enough, but to purposely try to do that with Raven, that's despicable. You have no idea how hard it was to not save her when she was there, and I wonder if you got if my first call and just decided to wait. Teaching her a lesson were you?"

"No, I didn't get any of the calls until shortly before I sent the team."

"You're lying to me." Tessa's voice was deadly and Raven found herself not breathing, afraid to interrupt this. "Did you forget that I can tell? Tell me now that you rushed to help her as soon as you found out."

"We were away on a mission. We couldn't just drop it to run and save Raven from the mess she'd gotten herself into." Raven's fist clenched as she heard the man blaming her, but she gasped when she heard another loud slap.

"Don't ever, ever act like any of that was her fault." Tessa's voice was scary and Raven just stared at the back of the woman she'd followed into that hell. Tessa had been abused and for longer, but she was hitting the man for what happened to Raven. "My god Charles, of course she looked for me. You never told her and she's always been painfully loyal. It was only a matter of time." Tessa's voice calmed again. Raven suddenly remembered what Tessa said about Tessa's powers not working right when it came to Raven because that distance and control that the others usually saw was completely gone now. "So tell me, how long did it take you? How many days and rapes did she endure while you knew and didn't send someone or tell me that I could scrap that damned mission? How many days did I have to watch people hurt the woman I love Charles when it wasn't necessary?"

He gave out a yelp as Tessa did something. "a few days, long enough to finish the mission."

"Days." Tessa stepped back and Raven watched the woman wrap her own arms around herself. "Days."

"I knew you'd find a way to keep her alive long enough for us to complete the mission and get back."

Tessa stared at him and Raven couldn't take her eyes off of the clear pain in Tessa's eyes. "I should have known. You never did understand how a place like that could destroy someone and still leave them alive. I need to go, because I want to kill you and it's too soon for that."

"Tessa, you may be upset with what needed to be done, but don't take it out on me for knowing what was needed and how to get it." The Professor called after Tessa as Tessa stepped out of the cell and locked him up again.

"You were wrong Charles, and I should have seen that before I did, but then you did everything you could to make sure I wouldn't see. You gave her to me just to take her away, and she was worth more than that. I was worth more as well Charles. I used to wonder why you thought I wasn't worthy of being a hero, but now I see it. You don't know what a hero is because you aren't one. Raven is a hero and you couldn't see her either." The door locked and his reply was lost with the soundproofing as Tessa walked away. When the woman came close Raven let her color matching shift fade so that Tessa would see her, but Tessa didn't look surprised.

Tessa walked right into Raven's arms and Raven wrapped the woman up in a hug holding her tight without saying anything. Tessa needed this, and it felt like it had years ago, holding her. It made Raven realize that she hadn't hugged Tessa at all in these past few days. Tessa's crying was a shock, but Raven just rocked gently from side to side holding her. "It's over," Raven whispered into Tessa's hair, "It's over." Raven tried to comfort Tessa while sympathetic tears trailed down her own face. Just seeing Tessa in pain ripped her apart.

"It's never over Raven." Tessa's body shook. "I chose that man's mission over you, you said it yourself. I can still see the pain in your eyes when I did it, and hear Christy's words. My damned memory makes sure I don't forget what they did to you there and then I stayed while you were off alone, scared, hurt. After everything I did in that club you were still willing to come to me and I threw it all away for that man."

Raven didn't know what to say because it was all true, so she just hugged Tessa tighter and did her best to stay strong when the familiar love she always felt around this woman tore at her heart.

Tessa's whisper was pained and almost too quiet to hear. "I was wrong."

After another minute Tessa pulled away, wiped her eyes and fell back behind the emotionless mask. Raven let her. "I need to talk to you about my plan."

"My room?" Raven let the subject from before drop for now, but her eyes stared sympathy and affection into Tessa's, which caused Tessa to look a little startled.

"Okay."

…………….

Raven watched Tessa as the woman outlined what they already knew, this place belonged to the Professor. "He can pass on ownership of the school, or his money, but he was very careful about what it would take to make changes like that. It requires that he and his co-signer go into the bank, into a room that nullifies telepathy with a group of three people that are listed in no computer I can reach. It's set up to prevent shapeshifters or telepaths from being able to do what we plan to do. With a cosigner no single shape shifter, like Mystique, or in this case you, could pretend to be him. With that room no telepath can make the bankers see what we want them to see. Without knowing who the primary contact is we can't even start the process.

"His cosigner?" Raven's voice held a thoughtful tone as she considered the problem and the other shape shifter in the state that she could ask for help.

"Forge. I'd hoped to talk him into helping, but you told me he wasn't a pawn like the rest of us. I can have Emma get the information about the contact out of him mind, and I'm sure she'd love to help. His shooting her would mean she would hardly be gentle about it. You can imitate the Professor can't you?"

"Yeah, I could do it." Raven hadn't tried but she felt pretty confident that between Tessa and Raven they could create a good copy of the man.

"So we just need to find a way around Forge as the co-signer. Trying to telepathically control him for that long would be difficult, he's not immune, but he is rather strong, and that room is designed to weaken telepathic control."

Raven nibbled on her lip and Tessa started to stare at her. "You have a way?" Tessa smiled just a little as she noticed this.

"I might." Mystique shouldn't be too hard to talk into this. "Can you look for any devices on their plane, something that doesn't belong?" It wouldn't hurt to claim they needed to buy the help, it would get Mystique something out of this.

"I could."

"I need," Raven glanced out at the darkening sky, "a car, a night and whatever device they have in that plane and I'll be back." Raven stared into Tessa's eyes promising. "I will be back."

"Okay." And Tessa didn't even ask what Raven was up to. That was trust and Raven gave Tessa a grateful look.

Raven was loading the device into the car an hour later. "I may have help with me when I come back." She told Tessa and looked over at the dark haired woman that was studying Emma for a moment before turning back to her. "Not popular help though. Anyone I bring in here is allowed to leave." Her voice held a command.

"Who are you getting?" Tessa asked her.

Raven nibbled on her lip for a second. "An ex girlfriend, and I won't have her help us just to be locked up next to the man we're fighting."

Tessa was always amazingly intelligent, so when her eyes widened a little and then the woman sighed Raven knew Tessa was piecing it together. "She's a criminal isn't she Raven?"

"Yeah." Raven felt a bit nervous at how Tessa would take that.

"And a shape shifter." Tessa's voice was flat and clearly displeased even though with Tessa it wasn't blatantly obvious. "Mystique."

"She was very good to me." Raven's jaw clenched as she said this. "And she will help me if I ask her to, but if I can't protect her I won't ask."

"If she behaves she'll be safe here." Tessa finally spoke.

"Thank you." Raven slowly reached out and pulled Tessa into a tentative hug again, but just held her close enjoying the way it made her feel. Tessa held her just as tightly.

"She's the one that you went to Afghanistan to rescue isn't she?" Tessa pulled back and moved to open the car door for Raven.

"Yeah." Raven gave Tessa a small smile of thanks for opening the door and slid into the driver's seat.

"I'll make sure she's safe here. Anyone you care about that much," Tessa's words trailed off.

Raven felt like she needed to say it, "I was willing to kill for you too Tessa." It hardly sounded romantic, but Raven wanted Tessa to know she was loved. "I still would."

"I would hope you never have to." Tessa closed the door, ending the conversation.

Driving to Brooklyn was turning into a nostalgic event. Raven remembered driving there to meet Irene waiting on the sidewalk for her, and Mystique taking her car so they wouldn't get caught. "Irene." Raven spoke into the car as she turned onto the street the house sat on. "I love you." She could never tell if the woman heard her before, but it didn't stop Raven from talking to her. "Wish us luck." Raven turned into the driveway and shut the car off. She just sat there for a moment in the dark, before sighing heavily and getting out of the car.

She unlocked the door and slipped inside, but called out. "Just me." So that Mystique didn't come down shooting. Raven put the device on the table near the door and stared at the familiar handwriting on what was clearly an envelope for a card. It was addressed to her so Raven picked it up and opened it.

"Good Luck." The front of the card said and Raven smiled even as her eyes grew watery. Opening the card she saw that Irene had done more than signed it, it was a small letter.

"It came in the mail." Mystique's voice had Raven looking up to see the blue female leaning over the railing of the stairs she was only halfway down. "You don't have to leave do you?"

"No." Raven lowered the card back onto the table. Mystique never opened Raven's letters from Irene. It was out of respect for Raven's own relationship with the dead woman and that had always touched Raven. "She just wanted to remind me that she loves me too." Raven's hand rested on the card. "Sometimes I wish that she'd been the one to raise me. Rogue had it good."

"Well, it certainly would have made our relationship kinkier." Mystique teased just a little. Raven blushed and just moved to pick up the gift she had for Mystique rather than address the comment.

"I've got your box." Raven held it out and when Mystique gave her a far too amused look Raven blushed again. "Pervert."

"Yes darling." Mystique finished coming down the stairs and took the box from Raven's hands. "Doesn't look like much does it, but then Forge never made them impressive looking just effective." Her voice wasn't as amused now. "So you managed to overthrow their king?"

"He's locked up but there are some complications I was hoping you'd help out with." Raven moved to sit in the living room and filled Mystique in on the fight and Tessa's plan to rob the Professor of the school and the money needed to run it. The Xmen planned to do what the Professor had been pretending he'd been doing all along and actually help young mutants without expecting the children to sell their souls to his dream.

"Okay, I'm in." Mystique moved to stand and Raven clearly got the message that Mystique would be willing to take off right away, but Raven wasn't ready yet.

"I said we'd be back tomorrow." Raven spoke quietly, asking if it were okay with her eyes. "I know we aren't together anymore, but I was hoping."

"What were you hoping for?" Mystique didn't tease.

Raven stood up, "That we could stay here for the night."

"Being home isn't as great as you'd hope?" Mystique asked and Raven wasn't sure how to answer that.

"It isn't home." Raven spoke quietly. "I think maybe Vegas is home."

"The city of sin, why not." Mystique gave her a small smile. "Still, that mansion is so big and you'd rather stay here tonight?"

"I'm not empathic, but there is just too much emotion in the air there right now." Raven answered and Mystique just nodded like she understood that. "And I'd rather stay here with you. We go back now and we won't be able to sleep."

"Okay, we can go tomorrow just as well. I'd rather be able to sleep too, I'm sure that it will get rather intense when they see me."

"I won't let anyone hurt you." Raven's promise was more serious sounding than she intended, it was almost an oath.

"How nice, I won't let anyone hurt me either. I should be just fine." Mystique teased, but she pulled Raven into a hug and held her for longer than strictly necessary. "Why don't we work on your Professor form for a little tonight before we go to bed. I'll grade you and everything."

"I don't have the chair."

"We'll have you train with it tomorrow, for tonight just use a dining room chair and we'll chat. Get his mannerisms down pat."

"What about you?"

"I don't need the practice like you do. I pretended to date that bastard Forge after Irene died. I know everything I need to know about him." Mystique's voice was cold, but the idea that Mystique had to pretend so soon after Irene died, Raven reached out and rested a comforting hand on Mystique's shoulder. It would have been before Mystique came to Raven, and Raven knew it was real with them.

Raven slipped into her bed very tired a few hours later. It was strange being in it alone when Mystique was in the house, but Raven understood. It would be harder to remember they'd broken up if they still slept together.

…………………..

They drove up to the gate of the mansion at about eleven the next day. Raven just sat at the security gate knowing that she didn't know the codes and hoping that someone would realize this. "Come in." Tessa's voice came over the comm as the gate swung open, but it sounded like it could have been a recording rather than Tessa, too mechanical. Tessa wasn't happy. Hopefully it wasn't because of something going on in the mansion. Raven felt a wave of concern for Tessa as she drove through the gates.

"And though we walk through the valley of death," Mystique muttered in response to this.

"I walked through that valley," Raven's expression closed off. "This isn't it."

"I'm sorry. You seem so fine I forget sometimes you were in Genosha. It just doesn't seem real."

"I know." Raven took the turn towards the front of the main building rather than the garage. It wouldn't do to walk up, it would just mean that crowd over there would get to them sooner. "Thanks for agreeing to do this."

"I'm doing it for more than just you." Mystique told her, "but I would have done it if it were just you."

"I know." Raven gave her a small smile. "Showtime." She threw the car into park and shut the ignition, while trying to ignore the small group on the steps. Mystique didn't even take a deep breath to prepare as she got out and Raven wondered at her confidence as she got out of the car as well.

"Mother." Rogue didn't sound overly pleased. Kurt was near her, and Scott had joined them. All three teams had a representative, Raven thought as they came to a stop in front of the group.

"Hello Rogue." Mystique glanced past Rogue, "Kurt." Raven really didn't envy her ex her relationship with her children. At least Terrance had liked Mystique, but that one was Raven's. "Raven tells me you have all finally decided to stage a mutiny, I just had to come by and see."

"Tessa and Emma are working on getting the name we need and how to contact him." Scott spoke and while he was wary sounding he wasn't hostile. Raven gave him a grateful glance, knowing that he would probably much rather lay down the law for Mystique and a few quiet threats to enforce it.

The tension didn't completely leave as they all moved into the mansion and then into the debriefing room. Raven took long strides as she walked, trying to create an impression of confidence and control and Mystique did the same, making them look very much a team as they both moved to sit at the table and wait for the rest of the people.

Shortly after they sat Emma and Tessa came into the room. "Well, we have it." Emma spoke to everyone, but her eyes lingered on Raven. "I had to work for quite some time to break through that man's defenses. It appears that his mutation enables him to be very unique in his mental shields, but Forge gave us everything we wanted. He is guilty of knowing what was going on and going along with it." Storm looked like she'd been afraid it would be that. "Charles and Forge are also leading a network of less reputable operatives that specialize in espionage," Emma glanced over at Tessa, "Well more espionage." There was a small smile aimed at the dark haired woman. Emma's eyes glanced over Mystique before staring into Raven's eyes. It made Raven uncomfortable so she looked away.

"We have already initiated contact with Mr. Steinbeck, the man that starts the process whenever the Professor wants to make major changes with his money." Tessa picked it up from there. "Raven and Mystique will need to meet him at five tonight to make some changes." Tessa pulled out a sheet of paper. "I've outlined the changes that should be made now. We can't do it all at once or it will be far too suspicious. What we are doing is taking over ownership of the school and enough money to keep it running is already pushing the boundaries of believability, so Raven you'll need to play it as if the Professor is suddenly aware he's getting older and can't keep up with all his various activities so he's letting the school go to Jean and Scott, his oldest and most trusted students." Raven sighed when she heard that, even though she didn't care about the Professors opinion anymore really it was Raven and Tessa that deserved that title. They were the ones that knew about the lies, although they didn't know about the same lies.

"Okay." Raven felt like everything was hinging on her ability to pretend to be that man, and it did. It was a lot of pressure, but she'd be damned if she left this school in his hands. She'd wanted to take everything from him and this was a terrific start.

"She needs to train with his chair. If she can't control it that will look suspicious." Mystique added. "Her form is dead on now, she's pretty strong in the shape shifting portion of it all, but the mannerisms, little habits, things that different people have that set them apart from others those are harder for her and Raven hasn't lived here in years."

"I have assembled some footage from the security cameras around here." Tessa responded easily, as if Mystique was a regular member of the team. "And the chair is still in the hanger. I can show Raven how to work it."

"Then we've got work to do." Scott interrupted. "Raven start with the chair, get the basics, then spend the rest of the time on the footage. We can bring some of that with us in the van when we take you to the office so you can study on the way. There is no way you can be perfect in this amount of time, but you don't need to be. You just need to be good enough that people chalk up any differences to stress or anything else." He turned to Storm. "Call Kitty and see if she can help us with his computers, we need to find out what the Professor has going on right now and Kitty is the best we have." Scott's eyes trailed over to his own team. "We need to keep the school running, so I'm having Storm's team work on contacting anyone who had been an Xman for any length of time and telling them what is going on. We need to word out before anyone assumes that we locked him up for no reason."

"I'd suggest we wait on actually contacting them until Raven's mission is complete." Tessa added and Scott agreed quickly. "And I'm going as backup with Raven and Mystique. I'll feed her information as she needs it."

"What about us, we want to help?" Bobby asked, sounding desperate for a mission.

"Jean and I are about to become the owners of a school. I'll need an accountant to help set this up." Scott glanced at Warren, "This is a business, but since we don't know what the Professor was doing we need everything gone over."

"I'll take a look." Warren offered. He was the owner of a large corporation and Raven knew that, but she wondered if perhaps Emma would have been a better choice. Warren tended to let others take care of his business a bit more than Raven suspected Emma did.

"You'll also have any mission that comes up."

"About that Scott." Hank spoke up and Raven noticed his looking a bit nervous. "I quit the Xmen a few years ago, planning to work more on research but the Professor…" His words trailed off as his expression became more pained. "I would rather work behind the scenes." Everyone went quiet as they heard this and Raven noticed a few clenched jaws.

"Of course." Scott stood up. "If there are any other Xmen that have or should have quit please tell us now."

Raven hesitantly raised her hand. Kurt's went up as well. Mystique fidgeted in her chair when she saw her son's hand up, clearly unhappy. What was more surprising was that Scott's hand went up as well.

"Okay. If you want to walk away you can, but we could really use everyone's help right now." He lowered his own hand and looked around the room. "Things will be different now and I'm staying on as the Headmaster here, and I'll still be an active Xman because regardless of how we got here we are still needed." Scott turned to Raven. "Raven, I appreciate that you are willing to come back for this mission and I want you to know that I, we, won't expect anything more of you but you are welcome here and always will be." He looked over at Kurt and Hank. "Hank, if you want to stay in the lab that's fine as long as you remember to come out to sleep and eat." He gave Hank a small smile as a few people weakly chuckled. "Kurt,"

"I'll stay." Kurt announced.

"Okay." Scott took a deep breath. "Let's get to work people."

……………….

Watching the Professor that closely was irritating but Raven was still working on small ticks and habitual motions he made with his hands as he spoke while Mystique as Forge drove them to where they were going. Tessa was in the back of the van working on something. It was a rather quiet ride except for the voice of the Professor from the tapes and occasionally Raven as she mimicked it.

With the device Tessa gave Raven the dark haired woman could see what Raven saw and whisper in Raven's ear the names of this or that man's wife or kids. While a few tried to object to the Professor saying he was too old to do it all, two hours later Raven and Mystique left the building satisfied while the Professor lost his school.

"If we did a few more of these, perhaps with Donald Trump and Bill Gates you and I could be set for life." Mystique spoke quietly in Forge's voice.

"It isn't like you're hurting for money now." Raven looked up at Mystique but both of them were still in the men's forms and would have to stay that way until they got into the mansion, just to be on the safe side. "And I'd rather keep my stealing to assholes who really really deserve it."

"I'm sure we could find a few of those." Mystique grinned and opened the van door for Raven to maneuver the chair onto the lift. It was hard work since she wasn't really used to it, but she managed and Tessa gave her a small smile as Raven was moving into her place.

……………………

Mystique pushed the chair into the mansion for the last few steps and then smiled down at her as she shifted into her own form, "You did it Raven. You were pretty amazing for a baby shifter." Raven shifted back and stood up.

"Thanks." She smiled at her partner in this ignoring the other Xmen waiting to hear the news, before she turned to face them. "We can pull his damned name off the buildings now." A few Xmen smiled, those that weren't still consumed by the betrayal. "Who wants to tell him?" Her grin was evil as she glanced around the room.

"Why don't you?" Tessa spoke up from behind her. "Go in there and tell him how you did this. The one that he always underestimated took his school from him. Go tell him that."

"Ah," Raven lost her amusement at what they'd done with Tessa's suggestion.

"You did it Raven. He never thought you'd amount to anything remotely close to a decent spy and you impersonated him and stole his school." Tessa's voice became coaxing.

"Come on, don't you want to rub his face in it?" Mystique joined the discussion. "You've been bitching about him for years."

"How do you know that?" Scott asked and Raven closed her eyes and sighed as she imagined how well this would go over.

"Who do you think has been helping Raven avoid you all?" Mystique glanced around the room.

"Sure, take credit for someone else's work." Raven smirked at the redhead, partly to cover up her unease about revealing secrets, even though she didn't need to hide anymore.

"Well, Irene would want me to have it." Mystique's voice was teasing and comfortable even among people that Mystique could consider enemies.

Raven looked up, "We spent Christmas with Irene and Mystique, Rogue brought me." Raven turned to smile at Rogue, trying to convey that she was grateful not blaming. "Christy was upset and Mystique was so familiar to her that it helped to be there." Raven decided to avoid talking about the planned murder and go right to what this was about. "Irene came to us later and told me that if I didn't leave the school before Christy left the Professor wouldn't let me go. He'd already said that when I quit the Xmen and told him I'd leave, but he really didn't think I'd leave while possessed so we did. We went and lived with Irene and Mystique for a while and once Christy left," Raven went quiet. "I left. Irene would warn me if anyone was closing in on me and she picked where I'd go so that no one could try to anticipate me." Raven looked over at Mystique. "Irene saved me." She spoke quietly and shared her gratefulness and love with Mystique. "Again and again she saved me, and Mystique was my rock, my constant, the only living person in my life who really knew who I was."

"I had wondered who you were talking about when you said you had help." Tessa spoke softly, then sighed. "So are you going to talk to the Professor or shall I?"

"I'll do it." Raven was worried that her own anger would make her do more than just talk, she didn't want the others to be upset with her, and part of her thought that there was nothing that man could say to her that she needed to hear anymore. But maybe she did.

"Good." Mystique moved closer and rested a hand on Raven's shoulder, encouraging Raven to turn around and face her. "I need to go, but you know how to get in touch with me if you need me again. Robbing him is fun and I'll sign up for more missions like this." Mystique leaned in, "And I hear Donald Trump isn't really a nice guy so if you change your mind about taking our show on the road let me know. We could be rich rich rich." Mystique leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips. "Have fun explaining that one." Mystique whispered into Raven's ear with a teasing voice and pulled back. Raven's eyes narrowed at Mystique's games but the blue woman just waved. "It's been fun, bye all." Mystique walked right out the door and no one moved to stop her, most eyes were on Raven.

"Yeah, thanks." Raven muttered clearly unhappy.

"Anytime lover." Mystique's parting shot as she closed the door behind her had a few more eyes staring at Raven. That bitch, Raven found herself smirking as the humor of the situation hit her. Maybe later she'd ask Mystique why she did that, right before she told the woman she'd told every Xman here that Mystique was Raven's little submissive, that would scare Mystique. They traded off on that role, and Raven wouldn't tell anyone here about the specifics, but maybe she could convince Mystique she had said it. If she could get Rogue to say some things that would seem innocent to Rogue but have a double meaning.

"Raven," A voice interrupted Raven's planning her revenge and she looked around the see she still had everyone's attention. "You and mah mama?" Rogue just had to ask. Raven felt even more uncomfortable saying anything to Rogue.

"We were." Raven started for the door. "Well I might as well go talk to the Professor." She was feeling more motivated to go now.

"Raven." Storm's voice was disapproving and Raven turned to glare at Storm, deciding that she couldn't just run.

"What? Are you going to tell me that the woman that was there for me, believed in me, was patient and kind with me when I could barely stand to be touched, wasn't worthy of my love? No, you don't know what my life has been and you don't get to disapprove of my love life. While it lasted Mystique was the best thing that could have happened to me." She didn't yell but her voice was forceful and commanded respect. "and she will always have my love and respect for that. So no, I don't want to hear what anyone here has to say about this." When she turned to leave she was surprised that no one tried to stop her, they actually listened to her.

Raven was standing in front of the cell the Professor was in far too quickly. The guard on duty of course had to be Emma, Raven thought bitterly, noticing that Emma wasn't leaving, but was still pretending to be reading some magazine at the table across the room. Raven had noticed that Emma wasn't a part of the crowd upstairs, but she hadn't considered where the woman might be.

"Hello Professor." Raven spoke as she stared at him and engaged the comm system that enabled them to speak without opening the cell.

He looked tired and old Raven noticed while watching him study her. "Raven." His voice was cold.

"I just thought you'd like to know I just stole the school from you and gave it to Jean and Scott." She stared him in the eye and watched his eyes widen a little. "It's legal, you don't own this place anymore and you can't use any more kids like you did us."

"You couldn't have." He started and Raven gave him an evil smile while shifting into a copy of the man. As soon as his eyes widened in shock she shifted back to a younger version of herself, wearing the uniform she had worn while training in Tessa years ago.

"You took kids," Raven shifted to an even younger woman with dark hair and pale skin. "and you sold them for your dreams Professor. What about our dreams?" Raven let the younger Tessa form melt back into her own present day one. "So we're stopping you now. You'll never do that to anyone else again."

"You're a shape shifter." He sounded stunned.

"And you missed your chance to exploit that, is that breaking your little heart?" Raven glared at him.

"But it takes two to change," He started, but Raven's shifting into Mystique in the middle of his words stopped him. "Oh, it's Mystique." His voice was colder as he assumed that Raven never could have done this and that he was really looking at Mystique.

"She helped me." Raven shifted back. "I played you and she played Forge and you now get to play the unemployed prisoner. If there was true justice in the world I could turn you into a woman and throw you to the wolves you tossed Tessa to. I'd love to do that to you. Let Selene and Sebastian show you what hell really is, but that's just a dream. One I've had for years." Raven leaned closer to the divider on his cell and bared teeth sharper than natural. "But I can make sure you end up penniless, alone, and take away all your Xmen. I can ruin your reputation by exposing your lies."

"I had to do the things I did, I had to make the hard decisions, to try and make this world one we could live in."

"You had dreams Professor, but you betrayed your own dreams when you enslaved us and denied our dreams." Raven let her eyes burn bright. "I have dreams Professor, dreams filled with pain and suffering and loneliness and loss. I'm going to share all of that with you. My dreams will become yours. They'll become your reality." She flipped off the intercom so that she'd have the last word and turned to leave.

Emma was giving her an approving smile. Raven opened her mouth to say something, but she didn't know what to say to Emma, so she just turned and walked away.

…………..

Things were pretty boring for the rest of the day with people going over paperwork or making calls Raven was able to walk around and not see Xmen everywhere. It made her wonder why she was staying, but Raven started for her room anyhow.

She could hear the soft music coming from Tessa's room and Raven walked through the bathroom to the opened door on the other side. Tessa was sitting cross legged on her bed with red glasses on, doing something in the air that looked strangely ordered as if it were really something. "What are you doing?" Raven had to ask, looking at Tessa seeming like a mime.

"These are special glasses that enable me to browse the internet and a few other things." Tessa explained while continuing with her hand dance. "The controls are only visible to me and I have sensors on my fingertips rather than a mouse." Raven moved to the chair in Tessa's room and sat back watching the dark haired woman work.

"Cool." Raven didn't know what else to say. Tessa had always been more into computers than Raven. "But can you pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time?" She teased while shifting two extra arms onto her own body to do just that, while pretending to do what Tessa was doing with her original arms. It had actually taken a bit of practice to do that move when she added the two arms. Tessa smiled, but kept up with her work.

"You've just deleted the files you were trying to save." Tessa nodded to the motions Raven was making with her hands.

"I meant to do that." Raven joked back and finally Tessa did something in the air and turned to face Raven.

"I was just monitoring a few websites." Tessa swung her legs over the side of the bed. "And I may have been looking into a few things you said. You had a precog guiding you and you were in the middle of Genosha when it died Raven."

"And now I'm the most powerful mutant in the house." Raven sighed. "I know. It's not a coincidence, even though I wasn't sent to Genosha, it was the first time I picked my own place without getting a letter from Irene, but she knew I would." Raven looked up into Tessa's eyes, "but she wasn't the only one. Ellie told me that I was supposed to be there when she met me. I don't know what to think, but I do know that sometimes knowing the future means you have to pick between crappy futures. It makes me wonder how bad it would have been if I had skipped Genosha, if that was the better choice."

"That sounds like the voice of experience."

"I had my own relationship with precogs. I understand how it works." Raven's eyes fell from Tessa trying to hide the guilt in her eyes. Raven went quiet as she considered her own secret. "It isn't easy having to hurt people to save them. Irene was heartbroken when she decided to not warn me, I know she was, because no matter what happens I believe that the alternative would have been worse. I believe that."

"No, it isn't easy." Something in Tessa's voice, a tone of pain, had Raven looking back up. "And hurting you and Christy was hard for me, but I knew that if her spirit wasn't broken a little the damage you'd both suffer would have been worse. Still, it hurt. Hearing her beg me to not touch her." Tessa's eyes were watery and Raven had to really work to remember a time when Christy wasn't begging Tessa to touch her rather than not. "Finally being with you, but like that, was a horrible distortion of all my fantasies about you. All my dreams."

Raven didn't really know what to tell Tessa, so she went with a darker truth. "I at least had you some, to me that was better than nothing. It's gotten me through these past years, knowing what you feel like. I wanted you Tessa, I wanted you more than anything, and sick as it may sound I'm glad you took us. It wasn't flowers and sunshine, but it was you, and I had been burning for you for years." Raven felt a flush of shame on her skin. "I'm not a flowers and sunshine kind of girl Tessa." She didn't elaborate. Tessa was watching her silently, Raven could feel it. She heard Tessa stand up and the creak of the mattress as it found the sole occupant missing.

"Raven." Tessa's voice was gentle and the woman's hand moved to caress Raven's jaw and gently make Raven look up. "You deserved the flowers and the sunshine and anything else you desired, no matter what it might have been." Tessa knew, Raven could see it in her eyes, which didn't have those red sunglasses on now. "You deserved more than I could give you and more than I chose to give you. Oh Raven," Tessa's fingers caressed Raven's face so gently. "I cheated you out of so much, and for you to actually be grateful for what you did get, that's just not right. You deserved more from me."

"I did, even Christy did," Raven agreed with watery eyes, "but that doesn't mean we didn't enjoy what we were given, even if it was never enough." All Emma had done was take and all Tessa did was give, and it had frustrated more than just Christy that neither had been a complete lover, but then that wasn't what they were. "That place was hell Tessa, but I meant it when I said if it were just you I would have stayed, because with you," Raven's voice was shaky, "with you it was heaven too. The worst part of my life had some of the best moments in it."

"Oh Raven," Tessa's voice cracked and Raven watched as Tessa leaned down. Raven's arms moved to rest on Tessa's shoulders as the dark haired woman kissed her softly. Raven held on as Tessa started to pull away and pulled her close again, kissing with more passion and soon Tessa responded. Oh Tessa, Raven thought as she received one of those kisses she'd enjoyed all those years ago, the kind that made her want to melt. Tessa's kissed moved over Raven's cheek and then ended with a soft kiss to her forehead. "Oh Raven, I hurt you so much."

"I know that." Raven reached up and caressed Tessa's hair, before slowly standing. It left them standing so very closely. "But I want you to know something Tessa." She stared into Tessa's eyes. Raven's voice became a whisper. "I forgive you." Tears trailed down Tessa's cheeks and Tessa took a shuddering breath. "I forgive you Tessy." Tessa rarely lost her composure so much but Raven had to move forward and hold Tessa in a hug, worried the woman would fall to her knees without the support. Tessa's tears were soul deep and Raven rocked her gently as Tessa cried, but Raven felt better, stronger, having done this. It was something that seemed to free a part of Raven's soul. "I do Tessy. I could never stay mad at you." Raven spoke with a slight teasing in her voice, remembering times when they were young.

"You should." Tessa pulled back and wiped at her tears.

"Well," Raven let Tessa go completely, "I guess we'll just have to disagree."

"Raven, I," Tessa started hesitantly, but the knocking on the door stopped her words. Raven turned to glare at the door, swearing she could tell by the knock who it was.

"If we stay very quiet she might think we aren't here." Raven spoke quietly.

"She can't read me, but she can sense where I am." Tessa answered just as quietly. "I'm not completely psychically invisible like you."

"Okay," Raven sighed. "I'll see you later."

"You could stay." Tessa moved towards the door but didn't open it with the next volley of knocks. "Or is she unforgiveable?"

"Look how she acts now?" Raven shook her head. "If I forgave her she'd be worse."

"I doubt that's possible." Tessa smiled just a little before turning to the door. Raven made her way out to the bathroom as Tessa started to let Emma in. Emma never saw her there. Making sure to lock the bathroom door from the inside so that no one could come through, Raven started the shower and her pre bed rituals. She could hear the soft sound of talking in the other room, just beyond normal hearing range, but she didn't bother listening in.

……………………


	37. Hellfire 2 Part 18

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven woke to knocking but it didn't sound right. She grumbled a little as she got out of bed, noticing it was still dark and she hadn't been sleeping long. "What?" She asked as she was opening the door and noticed Rogue standing on the other side looking a little nervous.

"I asked her ya know." Rogue spoke quietly. "I asked her if she knew where you were and she lied to me. When you went missing I remembered how well you got along with my mama."

"That was Christy that talked with Mystique then." Raven sighed and opened the door rather than talk in the hall. "I was afraid of your mama, I was afraid of everyone, even Irene. I wasn't really at my best Rogue, it was a hard time for me." Rogue's eyes got a little wider for a moment. "Go ahead and have a seat." Raven sighed and moved to sit on the rumpled bed.

"Well, Irene was always a lot scarier than most people knew." Rogue smiled a little. "When I told her I was not gonna do my chores when I was twelve she became the scariest woman alive."

"Yeah, I bet." Raven smiled softly. "She had her moments." Her smile faded as she thought of the scariest Irene had been and realized it was right after Raven tried to kill herself. "She loved you so much." Raven spoke softly, remembering Irene's pain at not seeing Rogue again before she died, for thinking her daughter might have died first.

"She was my ma. Raised me up." Rogue went quiet for a little too long, but then this was an emotional topic. "Christy tried to tell me didn't she? Her saying to not let people tell me to not see my family cause Irene wouldn't always be there. She knew something."

"Yeah." Raven pulled her legs up onto the bed. "Irene didn't want to worry anyone, but she knew she was dying even then. She made me promise not to tell. That was hard."

"Why were you with my mama?" Rogue's tone was slightly accusing.

Raven just stared at Rogue, surprised that she felt any urge to answer that. "Mystique's an amazing woman Rogue and I have no regrets, none at all. It isn't like we went behind Irene's back, Irene was already gone when we started. And it isn't like Irene would have been upset, because I had her blessing. I respected her too much to try anything without it and Irene knew that. She knew I loved her like the mother I no longer had, the kind of mother I wish I had and you were lucky enough to have. She adopted me, took me in and cared for me. I would never have done anything to hurt her."

They spent some time talking about Irene, and Raven knew that it was just the less upsetting topic for Rogue but then talking with a parent's lover would be harder, so Rogue didn't talk to Raven like that was what she was. Raven told Rogue about Irene's illness, about her funeral, about her pride in Rogue and Rogue told a few stories about her childhood. Finally they both went quiet.

"Okay." The woman stood up. "I'm glad you're okay Raven." Rogue looked so lost and isolate and Raven moved closer, touched by Rogue's problem, and hugged her.

"She loved you so much." Raven whispered and let go.

Rogue turned to Raven and stared at her a moment. "Did you like the Hello Kitty diary?" Rogue asked and Raven's eyes widened just a little.

"I just wanted to make you go away, I'm sorry." Raven felt herself blushing once she realized that Rogue knew who had talked to her so rudely at Mystique's house and Rogue just smiled at her.

"It's okay."

When she let Rogue out of the room Raven noticed Emma in the hall watching her. Emma's eyes seemed to burn into Raven's skin, Raven could feel the woman's attention on her even when she wasn't looking, so Raven turned and held Emma's stare for a moment, before turning to go into her room, closing the door.

………………..

The next time Raven heard knocking it was familiar. "Go Away." Raven yelled at the door. "I don't have a mission today."

"I have coffee." Emma called out. "And bagels. The ones with raisins you like so much. I believe these are the last ones, since Robert and the others males have started to devour anything they can see."

Raven pulled her pillow under her head more forcefully and glared at the door. She really didn't know what to do about Emma, but being in a room alone with her wasn't something she was eager to do right now. "Go away Emma. Just go away."

"Raven, open the door." Emma's voice was softer, but still loud enough to be heard.

"No." Raven's response got silence but no sound of anyone walking away. Raven enhanced her hearing to listen for it.

"Please open the door Raven."

Raven felt a wave of guilt that she really didn't think she deserved. "No, not today Emma. Go away."

"Fine. I won't beg." Emma muttered angrily and Raven could hear Emma walking away, but then there was a knock on another door. Raven rolled onto her back and groaned as she heard Tessa answer it and then Raven shut her enhanced hearing down.

Ten minutes later another door had a knocking on it, but it was different. It was strange how something like a knock would give people away, Raven thought as she opened her eyes to stare at the bathroom door. "Raven." Tessa's voice was exactly what Raven expected to hear. "Breakfast."

Raven sighed heavily and sat up. It wasn't like she'd been able to sleep after Emma woke her but it looked like no one was willing to let her try. "Come in." And even though Raven sounded less than pleased Tessa opened the door and came in, carrying the coffee and bagel that Emma had been trying to give Raven earlier. Tessa held up both for a moment before moving to put them on the dresser.

"She doesn't deliver food to just anyone." Tessa picked up some knick knack that someone had placed in the room long before Raven had moved in and studied it. Raven tossed the sheets off of her body, shifting into jeans and a sweatshirt. "I know that this is not comfortable, but I need to ask you something." Raven didn't like the tone of Tessa's voice, and Tessa turned to look at her. "Were you scared when she kissed you? Did you think she might do something you didn't want, might rape you?"

Raven stared at Tessa wishing she could just ignore this. "I'm not afraid of Emma."

"I see." Tessa sighed and leaned back against the dresser while crossing her arms. "I've known Emma for years Raven and I could tell you so many things about her. I could tell you that she isn't accustomed to having to actually work to get someone's attention. I could tell you that for her, kissing is more intimate than sex, just like it is for me, because of our experiences in the Hellfire club. I could tell you that Emma only brought me breakfast in bed once to apologize for something she'd done, not that she'd ever said the words but the intent was there." Raven fidgeted with the sheets in her hands. "I could tell you that in spite of what you'd seen in that club I'd never heard of Emma taking anyone that told her no. Did she do that to Christy?"

Raven stared down at her own hands as memories of that time hit her. "No." Raven whispered. Christy had never once said no.

"Christy told me no." Tessa's voice was quieter, "but she never said no to Emma?"

"No, she didn't."

"Was Christy too terrified to tell her no?" Tessa continued to push this and Raven glared up at her. She wished that Tessa would just drop this.

"No, she wasn't."

"So while it was hardly what Christy was used to, she never said no to Emma." Tessa continued to beat the point. "Well, that's unfortunate, because if she had you'd know that Emma would have stopped." It couldn't have been that easy, Raven stared dumbfounded at Tessa. "In private Emma would always stop, she couldn't in public, but in private she would."

"But." Raven managed to get that one word out.

"Drink your coffee while it's still at least lukewarm." Tessa stood up and started for the door. "I have a lot to do this morning, but here's something else to think about." Tessa turned to look at Raven from the bathroom doorway. "In the Hellfire club, that place had its own culture and only slaves delivered breakfast. Emma has only brought me breakfast once." Tessa glanced at the bagel. "Actions Raven, actions speak louder than words with Emma and she always knows what she's saying. Every time she serves you, she's apologizing, every time. She doesn't say it out loud." Raven frowned a little at that, because Emma had said the words. "So you need to pay attention."

"Why should I?" Raven felt like a petulant child as she said that and Tessa shaking her head didn't help that.

"Why did you choose to trust her Raven? You stayed when she showed up in Genosha and you called her regularly when you moved here. If you didn't trust her completely you never would have done that." Tessa reached out and caressed Raven's hair, her voice softening. "Clearly it wasn't a mistake to do it, you can see that now. She didn't betray you. I just want you to think about what you are doing Raven, and if you really want to shove her aside after that fine, but don't do it like this. I know she was harsh at the club, but she was the one I trusted too, but even then I never trusted her as much as you just did. She wasn't as trustworthy then, and I'm actually a little surprised that she is now, but she didn't betray you Raven, not once." Tessa's expression turned pained and she stepped back. It looked like the unspoken words were that Tessa had betrayed her. Raven reached out and caressed Tessa's hand before the woman was out of range. "Make your decisions with all the facts Raven, it helps. She was coming to tell you something Raven, something she did for you." Tessa sighed and walked away.

Raven was alone with the coffee and bagel just a moment later and Raven buried her face in her hands with a groan.

………………

The clank of the weights let Raven know someone was in the weight room, but she didn't know if it was the someone she was looking for. She glanced in to see Emma doing bench presses and Raven slipped in quietly. She moved to lean against he wall and watch Emma. The blonde was breathing properly with her lifting and was actually lifting a pretty decent amount for a woman without superstrength. The up and down motion started to hypnotize Raven a little as she watched it, until the clank of the bar being put down shook her out of it.

"Thanks for the bagel." Raven spoke quietly and watched Emma sit up, noticing the guarded expression on the blonde's face. Really was what Raven did so bad? She just refused to open the door.

"So you got it." Emma stood up and grabbed a towel, running it over her neck, which was shiny with sweat. "See, this is what I don't understand and why I wish my powers worked on you." Raven looked up into Emma's eyes with confusion. "You admire my body and you rush to my rescue, which all looks to me like you actually are attracted to me, but when I push for you to show it you glare and posture and run away. Why do you do that?"

"I'm not."

"So that wasn't you moaning while I kissed you?" Emma's eyes narrowed and Raven felt a sudden blush on her face. "It sounded like you liked it Raven and you've been avoiding me ever since."

"You had no right." Raven's voice rose a little, but she wasn't so upset she forgot her limitations.

"You are stronger than I am Raven. I couldn't force you to do anything if I tried. All you had to do was step away, but you kissed back." Emma's words were angry but Raven just stared at her stunned at what she was hearing. Stronger, she'd never even thought of that. Emma took a step closer still coldly angry. "Dammit Raven, what do I have to do. Just tell me what I have to do to make you stop looking at me like that. I've kept your secrets, I've given you back your friends, I got shot helping you fight your Master. What else do I have to do? I sent Karen a ticket to come visit you here, is that enough? Do you want me to write you a big check?" Emma was so close that Raven could feel her breath, and her voice got quieter. "Do you want to hit me again? Whip me like in that drawing? Do you want to make me beg?" Raven looked away and took a step back, but Emma closed the gap. "Do you still have fantasies about hurting me?" Raven felt herself pale, upset that Emma knew about those. She hadn't had one in a while. "If I let you, would that be enough?"

"Oh God." Raven took another step back while staring at Emma in shock, not sure if that had been a real offer or not. "No."

"No it wouldn't be enough?" Emma looked so calm for talking about something like that.

"No, I can't do that."

"Come now, the school has a healer. It isn't like I'd scar." Emma pressed forward again and Raven felt like she couldn't catch her breath. "Do you want to see me tied spread eagle waiting for your whip? Would you like spank me? Do you want to tie me to the bed and force yourself into me? What do you really want to do to me Raven? Tell me?" Raven took another step back.

"Don't." Her voice was desperate.

"Do you want to force me to satisfy you? Do you fantasize about making me kneel between your legs like Christy for me?" Emma's voice was changing, becoming more heated. "I'm not a submissive Raven, you'd have to hold me down to do that to me." Flashes of old fantasies came to Raven and she flinched as she took another step back. "Force me? Is that what you want? I won't press charges." Raven finally put her hands out and shoved, but Emma didn't move back much. "You can fight harder than that Raven. I saw you bend steel."

"Leave me alone." Raven felt the wall against her back with her next step back and her breathing was coming too fast. Emma's body was pressed up against her.

Emma whispered into Raven's ear, "If I touched you now would you be wet?" Raven moaned. "I think you would. Is it because you really want to punish me or because you like feeling powerless to stop me?" Raven felt the cool air as Emma stepped back and stared at her before she just walked away and Raven couldn't move. She leaned heavily against the wall as Emma left the room.

"Oh God." Raven's hand shook as she moved to run it through her hair. "This isn't happening to me." It was sick and wrong. It took her a few minutes to calm down enough to try and walk away like nothing happened. It took her a half hour to remember that Emma said Karen was coming to visit, but she wasn't willing to hunt Emma down for more details.

………………..

Raven was sitting in a remote corner of the atrium, watching the small stream Storm had created to run through the place and gently running her hands through the top of the water. The sound of the water helped to soothe her and Raven did her best to just not think, to just be for a little while. She felt the coiled tension inside of her ease.

The sound of someone coming into the atrium had Raven focusing her hearing to try and see if she should push herself further back into the plants to avoid someone she didn't want to talk to at that moment, but the sound of a shuddering breath and a small gasp had Raven moving forward to see the green girl dropping her book bag near the pond and sitting on the bench. That wasn't what kept Raven watching, it was the slumped shoulders and slight shaking.

Raven sat quietly and watched as the shaking slowed down and shook her head at the fact she couldn't even hear the girl crying. What did that say about the girl's life that she could do it so quietly? She was almost ready to go out and see if there was anything she could do when a set of footsteps started coming closer.

"Child," Storm's voice was soft and Raven watched the back of the tall woman's head and her white hair as Storm shook her head just a little from side to side. "Are you alright?"

A loud sniffle sound carried to Raven and she enhanced her hearing to listen to this, feeling guilty about doing it as well but she was a little concerned. "Fine."

"One would hope that mutants that know what it is like to be shunned would know better. It is a shame they do not learn from the experience." Storm moved closer and sat on the bench. "You know what they said, it wasn't true."

"I just wanted to be normal." The girl stared down at her own hands. "Normal in some way." She held up the green hands as if they were proof of her sin. "I'm green, isn't that enough? Why do I have to be even more different?" The girl's voice cracked and Raven felt a wave of sympathy for her not even knowing why she was hurting.

Storm moved to sit beside the girl and Raven made sure no one saw her, this was too personal to interrupt, but somehow her guilt about being there didn't stop her from listening. "It is normal, the ability to love is normal. It matters not the packaging, just the heart." The green girl looked confused and then a little apprehensive as she looked at Storm.

"Are you a lesbian too?" The girl asked and Storm just smiled at her.

"Does it matter? Lesbian or Heterosexual, the capacity to love, the person themselves is more important than a gender." Raven rolled her eyes as Storm side stepped it yet again. Perhaps Storm got some perverse pleasure out of making people wonder.

The sound of someone else stepping into the room had the green girl tensing. "Annie" A strange chorus of voices called out and Raven saw blonde hair through the bushes, lots of it. "Oh, Ms. Munroe, we didn't know you were in here."

"I was just leaving girls." Storm stood up and smiled at what looked like a small group of clones, each girl looking just like the next. Raven counted five of them. All five eerily watched Storm leave, before turning as one to look at Annie, which Raven knew she'd been introduced to before but hadn't been able to remember her name.

The clone girls relaxed and stood slightly differently. One voice spoke. "Quentin is just a jerk. Don't let him upset you." Another voice barely different from the first added, "He may have power but he's an idiot." Raven watched as a third clone finished the comment. "And he's not very good looking either. You're much more attractive."

"Yeah, right." Annie scoffed at that and stared down at her hands again. It bothered Raven that this was a familiar looking problem, even Mystique with her experience and age had been insecure about her appearance. Raven's eyes widened a little as she watched the five blondes move closer to Annie sitting next to her on either side, standing behind her, in front of her, Annie was surrounded.

"Yes, much more attractive." The strange stereo was something that would take a while to get used to. Raven shook her head as she heard the next words in that strange stereo, "Annie, we think you are very pretty."

There was a side door to the outside and Raven reached it without disturbing the scene she'd seen but before she opened it she couldn't resist enhancing her hearing again. "date?" Annie sounded stunned and Raven smiled and slipped out the door. How would Annie ever keep straight which one she was dating, Raven chuckled a little at that girl's dilemma.

She had to walk around the back to find a door back into the building and found herself in a hall with vacant classrooms. Raven found the art room almost by instinct, as if the smell of paint called to her and Raven answered. The classroom supplies were hardly the best but Raven found paper and charcoal and a quiet corner to draw her memories.

…………..

"Somehow it doesn't surprise me that you're in here." A voice interrupted the blending Raven was doing on the sketch she had in front of her. She looked up to see Tessa leaning against the doorway looking at Raven. Tessa moved to walk into the room. Raven glanced down at her sketch, and Raven wished she could cover it up as she heard Tessa come closer, and knew the woman was looking at it. "I'd say you were thinking of the past." Tessa sighed as she looked down at the sketch.

Raven let the silence fill the room for a moment before talking quietly, "I needed to draw." She didn't defend herself even though she was embarrassed being caught drawing pictures of Tessa when she was younger. She went quiet for a moment, then looked into Tessa's eyes. "Pose for me?" It had been so long since she'd had a real Tessa to draw. "You were always my best model."

"It's my mutation. I have more control over my body than most and I can recreate poses perfectly, others can't do that." Tessa spoke casually, as her hand moved to pet Raven's shoulder. "I just came to tell you that Karen should be here by dinnertime. Emma mentioned she didn't have a chance to tell you that." Raven shook her head slightly. Of course Emma didn't have time to tell her that she'd been too busy backing Raven up into the wall. Raven put her artwork down.

"I miss drawing you." Raven spoke quietly and reached out slowly to move a loose piece of hair behind Tessa's ear. She didn't move her hand away once that was done and she just stared into Tessa's eyes which weren't nearly as guarded as they sometimes got. "Just for a little while, please?" This was something they used to share and Raven found herself aching to have that again. That easy comfort with each other they used to have, and maybe having Tessa pose wouldn't give that back to them, but it was worth trying.

Tessa stared into her eyes. "Okay." She spoke softly and moved to sit on the art table. Raven wiped her hands on her jeans, trying to clean up some of the charcoal as she moved to stand beside Tessa. Her hand moved out hesitantly to start to pose Tessa, and finally something in Tessa's eyes said it was okay.

Raven gently guided an arm into a pose she wanted and gently pushed Tessa's shoulder back, giving her a more relaxed pose than she'd seen in years from Tessa. Raven's hand moved to tilt Tessa's head, but then her hand slowly caressed Tessa's cheek, and a finger ran over the strange tattoo on her face. "Why did you do this?" Raven asked quietly as she stroked the dark lines.

"It was done to me, I didn't chose it." Tessa's answer was calmly delivered, but Raven's heard clenched in pain. To be marked like this, to always see it even if it weren't hideous, this reminder of power taken away. Raven swallowed hard and pulled her own tears into her body as she leaned forward slowly and kissed one dark line on Tessa's cheek. "I was marked shortly before I left that life." Tessa's voice was quieter, more reflective.

"But you left it, you did finally come back. I thought you were going to die in that place." Raven pulled back and almost turned away but Tessa suddenly had a hand on Raven's face, holding her cheek so Raven couldn't turn away. Tessa was staring into her eyes and Raven let her. When Tessa leaned in Raven tilted her head just a little to the side, but Tessa stopped and stared.

"Please." Raven whispered, and Tessa moved closer. Her lips gently touched Raven's, more a caress than a kiss. Raven groaned as she sought Tessa's lips, leaned into the kiss. Raven's body shook slightly as Tessa opened her mouth and deepened the kiss. Raven's arms moved around the dark haired woman holding her close, a soft whimper escaped Raven's mouth as Tessa responded by caressing her back.

"Oh I see you found her." Emma's voice was like ice water on Raven, making Raven's back rigid and tense. It wasn't pleasant, but Tessa just stared into her eyes as Raven pulled away, rather than look at Emma.

"Raven always finds the art supplies. It wasn't that hard to figure out." Tessa looked like she was speaking to Raven even though she was addressing Emma.

"Yes, she is rather obsessive about her art." Emma's presence finally made Raven turn her head to look at her. Emma was studying Raven and Tessa with an unreadable expression on her face. Emma's voice sounded bored, "I had offered to have Karen picked up, but her plane came in early and she took a cab. She says she'll be here soon."

"Karen." Raven's voice was tense and she wondered at bringing her friend into what was already a messed up situation, but it was too late for doubts, not that she'd been given a choice in this. "She bringing her husband?" Tessa caressed Raven's arm as she slid off the table, the planned drawing forgotten. The caress felt like a promise of something, but Raven wasn't sure what, just that it was later. Was it just talking or was Tessa willing to offer more? Did Raven want her to offer more?

"I believe she is. After what happened, well asking her to travel alone would have been highly inappropriate." Emma took a few more steps into the room and glanced down at Raven's drawing, the one that held a younger Tessa. "Obsessive about a lot of things aren't you dear?"

The muscle in Raven's jaw twitched but she didn't let Emma bait her in front of Tessa. She didn't say anything, she just started to clean up the art supplies. She could feel Emma's eyes on her and Tessa's as well.

"I bet you won't have to spend days being ignored." Emma spoke quietly, and Raven was glad she'd never really told anyone about how her enhanced hearing worked as she put the supplies away across the large classroom.

"I didn't steal my kiss Emma." Tessa spoke so calmly about this, so Tessa wasn't embarrassed or she was covering it. Raven sighed as she stood in front of the sink to turn on the water.

"It wasn't stolen." Emma didn't sound happy and Raven rinsed off her hands as she tried to act like she didn't hear them. "Her eyes say yes, just like Christy's did."

"And yet her mouth never followed suit." Tessa's reply was almost too quiet to hear. "The last telepath to misunderstand her, to see what he wanted to see, is locked up under the mansion Emma and she put him there. Do be careful to not push her too hard, she isn't the gentle woman I remember. We did that to her."

"No Tessa, she'd never hurt me." Emma sounded so sure of Raven. "It's in her eyes."

Raven couldn't draw out the hand washing any more so she had to turn the water off and went about drying them, but Tessa didn't respond. When she looked over at the two, they stood close together, Emma in her white leather and Tessa in black jeans and a black silk shirt, and Raven for just a moment felt the artist in her cry to draw what she was seeing, but she pushed that away.

"I'm gonna go wait for Karen." Raven didn't slow as she walked past them, trying to wrap her mind around the way Tessa and Emma still talked about her like they had those years ago.

…………………..

Raven sat on the couch staring towards the television with Remy and thankfully he wasn't talking to her. She wasn't really seeing the television, she was replaying the scene in the art room in her head, and the one even earlier in the gym, and trying to make sense of it all.

"Still as intense as ever." The deep nearly masculine voice had Raven's head jerking around to look at the four armed woman. "Oh God Raven, I heard you made it but I didn't really feel it until now." Raven moved to stand quickly, hearing the pain in Karen's voice. Karen's arms were stretched out for a hug and Raven quickly found herself wrapped up in them.

Karen was squeezing her hard and Raven was glad she didn't need to breath or she'd have to stop the woman. "Are you okay? Really?" Karen asked without letting Raven go very far, four hands held Raven's arms as Karen stared at her.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Raven said, but her voice was weary and tired and Karen could see through that. Raven knew it by the narrowing of Karen's eyes and the slight tightening of her hands on Raven. "Well as okay as someone who crawled out of ground zero can be." While that still haunted her, ever since she came back to the mansion it had taken back seat to the mess that was this life.

Karen moved some hair out of Raven's face and stared at her, Raven almost worried that Karen was going to kiss her but the woman didn't lean in. Perhaps too many people were kissing Raven lately for her to think Karen might. "Want to talk about it?"

Raven almost said no, but something in Karen's eyes said she needed Raven to need this. "Yeah." Raven said quietly.

"You two can go find a couch." A voice spoke and Raven turned to see Karen's husband looking at her. He smiled and held out a hand. Karen let her go and when Raven went to shake his hand he pulled her into a hug as well, not a long one but it felt awkward. "Glad you made it."

"Glad you planned that anniversary trip." Raven said as he let her go. "You couldn't have left at a better time."

"Yeah, funny how that works." He looked older and sad. Just because they weren't in the country didn't mean they weren't traumatized, Raven could see it more clearly in his eyes but Karen was clinging to Raven, staying so very close. "You two go on, I'm sure I can find something to do."

"Cheri, I'll take care of him, you go talk with your friend." Remy spoke up, reminding Raven he was there.

"Thanks Remy."

………………

Raven explained who she really was, she mentioned being on the run and only part of the reason why. She told Karen about that day in the classroom and watching Ellie die. Tears streamed down both of their faces as Raven talked about that day.

"How did you and Emma survive that?" Karen asked.

"We both mutated a bit more. It protected us." Raven didn't offer a lot of information because she'd gone quiet lost in the past.

The knock on the door almost seemed perfectly timed and Raven grimaced as she recognized it. "Dinner is ready." Emma informed them and Karen was staring at Raven as the blonde was speaking, it was that familiar expression on Karen's face, the perpetual question about what Emma was to Raven and why Raven put up with her.

Raven just gave Karen a weak smile. "Thanks." She called out to Emma, but Raven wasn't moving to get up just yet. Karen looked like there was something she wanted to say.

"Are things better between the two of you?" Karen asked in a psychologist tone.

"I don't know what the hell is going on with Emma and I." Raven shook her head. "I just don't know."

"Raven, what did she do to you? You told me all about being an Xman and your life on the run, but that doesn't explain her." Karen pushing about this again actually made Raven smile even though it wasn't funny and she didn't want to answer it. It was just so Karenlike for Karen to ask that.

After everything that Karen had been for her and the fact that Karen was her only living friend from that country, Raven couldn't just give the standard answer of 'I don't want to talk about it.' It would feel like a betrayal of the friendship if she said that, but Raven didn't want to talk about it, not all of it. She went quiet as she considered what she could say. "Emma used to be a villain, someone the Xmen fought." She stared at the hand Karen moved to take her own and slowly took it as she spoke. It was clear that Karen considered that one comment the beginning of a conversation when Raven had considered it the beginning and the end of one. Raven's bedroom filled with silence as Karen waited for more. "I lost." She finally whispered more and swallowed.

"What does that mean, you lost?" Karen asked gently when Raven hadn't started to talk after that. Raven glanced around her bedroom, not looking directly at Karen.

"Just that I lost." She pulled her hand out of Karen's, still not looking at her. That answer wasn't enough clearly, and Raven could see Karen preparing to not take her evading the question again, when another different knock hit the door.

"Raven you and your friend do realize dinner is ready don't you?" Hank's voice called through the door.

"Yeah, we're coming." Raven answered. She stood up and slowly Karen did as well, but the stare she was getting screamed that this wasn't over. "Thanks for understanding why I never told you who I really was." Raven smiled and tried to push the topic to something less upsetting, because Karen was clearly upset. It only worked a little, most likely Karen was acting more relaxed instead of actually being it.

"With a telepath after you, well I can see how that would be hard." Karen sounded polite, but she also sounded suspicious. As they walked down the hall Karen added, almost as if it weren't related. "So Emma can change her body as well as use telepathy now? Strange how that works."

Raven's jaw clenched, "And I'm a shapeshifter now. What didn't kill us did make us stronger."

"Did it?" One of Karen's hands moved to hold Raven's. "Are you feeling stronger?"

"Sometimes." Raven said quietly.

………………..

Dinner was overly polite and that made it hell. Raven could actually see people censoring what they said, avoiding Genosha as if not bringing it up would make it hurt less for the four from that place. Without Genosha to talk about there was very little, other than current events, jobs to some extent, even the weather made it into the conversation and Raven actually shared a disgusted look with Emma for a moment when Bobby stumbled a bit in trying to keep things light, clearly taking back a question about what had been their home.

"Some people think that not talking about unpleasant things makes them less unpleasant." Karen said quietly once they'd left the dinner table, but she stared a little too long at Raven and her voice softened. "It doesn't work that way. Repressing painful memories does nothing to ease the pain."

"Not to mention telling Bobby to not talk about something is a guarantee that it'll accidentally be brought up at some point." Raven sighed. "He doesn't do avoiding topics well does he?"

"Did you tell him to do that?"

"No, but I probably would have if I thought about it." Raven sat back on the couch nursing her juice while Karen accepted the glass of wine from Emma, who had joined this after dinner talk of the Genoshans. "They can't understand. They've never lived in that kind of freedom, and they never had to accept that everyone they'd seen, worked with, lived around, died. They just can't understand that aside from the people in this room everyone I'd ever talked to in those months is gone. I can hardly grasp it at times." Emma was handing Karen's husband a drink and the man stared down at it, almost looking like he was in prayer over the alcohol, and somberly took a drink.

"Did you try to explain it to them?" Karen asked her, while glancing towards Emma for a moment, studying the blonde when she wasn't looking.

"Not really." Raven sighed. "So we have you for the weekend?"

"And the master of dodging the subject strikes again." Karen shook her head and looked over at Emma. "How are the two of you? Living through that has to be a nightmare."

"More than one." Emma raised her glass and then took a sip and Raven stared at her, surprised that Emma had nightmares, even though she knew she shouldn't be surprised. Emma had been horrified when it happened.

"How are you dealing with it?" Karen sounded like she cared.

"Alcohol works wonders." Emma took another deep sip and it wasn't entirely a joke.

"Raven?" Karen glanced at her but Raven had to pull her concerned eyes off of the honesty Emma exhibited.

"I paint, before I came here I barely slept, I just painted. I don't want to forget them, so I have to get them painted before I forget what they look like. Before time steals their faces from me." Raven's throat tightened and she stared down into her own glass. "They deserve that much and it's really all I can do. All those people I met, all those people I drew."

"Ellie." Karen spoke the one word Raven couldn't handle right at that moment and she looked away as she struggled to not cry.

"Oh do try to refrain from analyzing us Karen." Emma spoke and was getting closer. Raven felt her glass taken from her hand and Emma rested a hand on her shoulder. "You have neither the time nor the resources to do it right." Emma's hand squeezed Raven's shoulder in support and Raven looked up into Emma's slightly concerned eyes, giving the telepath a weak smile of thanks. "I could use a refill on my drink."

Raven's eyes dropped away from Emma's and over toward her glass again. Emma had set it on the coffee table. She was tempted to ask for something serious to drink as well, but she didn't. Emma stepped away and Raven could see the question in Karen's eyes but Raven didn't reply in any way.

They talked about Genosha, about the way the American government was responding to what happened or not as the case really was. They talked about the diner that all of them had found themselves in at times, they talked about the gym, they talked about how freeing it had been to live openly and they mourned.

Raven left the room hours later feeling like she'd been stretched to her limit emotionally, tired in a way a woman her age never should be, and showed her guests to a room. After that Emma and Raven continued down the hall quietly but together. Emma looked just as lost in her thoughts as Raven was and didn't push to talk before Raven slipped into her bedroom.

After getting ready for bed Raven peeked into Tessa's room, half wanting to talk to her and half wanting to wait until she felt less emotionally exhausted. The decision was taken from her, because Tessa wasn't there.

………………….

Knocking on the door had Raven rolling onto her back with a groan.

"It's in bad form to not be the first one awake when you have guests Raven." Emma's voice came through the door, the way she'd knocked it wasn't a shock that Emma figured Raven was awake now.

"They up?" Raven just stared up at the ceiling as she asked.

"Not yet." Emma sounded like she was closer to the door. "I have coffee." Raven stared at the door silently as she considered the offer. She still wasn't comfortable with the idea of being alone with Emma in her room, not after that whatever it was Emma did yesterday. "Are you afraid?" Emma's voice was slightly mocking and Raven glared at the door.

"No, you're a weak and pathetic has been." Raven tossed the sheets off of her body and sat up.

"That's funny, you didn't appear to think that yesterday when you were backing away from me with such wide eyes." Emma sounded so smug Raven wanted to wipe the smile she was sure Emma had off of her face. She walked toward the door while shifting into black leather pants and a black halter. She wasn't going to let Emma back her up into anything today. The simmering anger in her body came with determination as she opened the door and glared into Emma's eyes. A small cold smile came to Raven's lips as she noticed Emma's slight and quickly covered up surprise, but it turned to irritation again as Emma smirked at her like Raven had done something ridiculous.

"It takes more than just the clothes dear." Emma pushed the door opened more with her hip, while carrying in two coffee mugs. "You may even have a little Top in you, but not enough to Top me." Emma sat one mug on the dresser and turned to look at Raven with critical eye, looking far too long at the outfit and how Raven stood. Raven finally gave in and closed the bedroom door leaving her alone in the room with Emma. "Did you want to try? You did seem to like the idea yesterday."

"Bitch." Raven shook her head in disgust, but she sat on the chair since Emma had taken the bed.

"So creative. It's a good thing you're a painter dear, you don't have a way with words." Raven just glared at the woman when Emma said that and then reached out for her cup of coffee. "I was thinking of what you said the other day," Emma's voice was more serious. "About how the four of us are all that is left of the life you had in Genosha." Emma went quiet and Raven picked up her own coffee mug as she waited for Emma to speak again. "There are other survivors."

"But not the people that mattered to me. Not people I even recognized." Raven's mind filled with the few people she'd helped dig out of the rubble.

"There are neighborhoods that are becoming known as mutant towns."

Raven rested the coffee cup in her hands, stopping herself from taking another drink. "That's crazy. Look what they did when we all lived in one place. It's just not safe for us to make ourselves such a large target."

"Really, what about being alone? Would you say being alone, the only mutant around, makes a mutant vulnerable? That not having other mutants around means they have no where to turn when the humans notice them?" Emma took a sip of her own coffee and Raven felt like she was in a classroom debate with the woman. Raven went quiet as she considered Emma's point. She stayed quiet as she tried to figure out a way to answer this. It didn't have a good answer, cities or individuals, mutants were in danger.

"Mutants aren't safe anywhere. Is there a point to this?" Raven asked while tapping a finger against her coffee cup.

"Well aside from that depressing thought, yes there was a point. I suggested to Scott that he might want to consider hiring Karen to work here. She's an obvious mutant Raven, and either she moves into a mutant town so she can start up her practice again or starts work here, because in the human world she'll be a target and sadly most of this planet is the human world."

Raven grimaced as she thought about this and her mind filled in the possible motives Emma had. Sure it was a nice thing to do, if Karen wanted it, but why come to Raven with this? "This is Karen's decision." Raven said flatly while staring at Emma.

"I know that dear, but it will mean you can't monopolize her all weekend because the others will want to get to know her." Emma took a sip of her coffee.

"Okay." Raven sighed. She didn't want to close doors on possible futures for Karen, but she would warn her that this place wasn't always safe either. That probably hadn't changed in the past few years. "Why didn't you just say that to begin with?" Raven asked, really wondering why Emma played games with even the simplest things.

"Then it's not really a conversation is it? It's just a debriefing then." Emma shrugged her shoulders just a little and took another sip from her coffee. "We hardly talk anymore." Raven's eyebrows drew together at the familiarity Emma was assuming, it almost sounded like a relationship. No wonder Raven was so confused about Emma, Emma was delusional.

……………………….

For a day where nothing got done, it was rather hectic. After a dinner that seemed more like an interview for Karen, Raven sat down heavily on the chair in a smaller living room while Karen sat down across from her. "You have some nice friends." Karen offered with a smile.

"Yeah." Raven couldn't dispute that, but she felt a small bit of jealousy she pushed away. "You gonna take the job?"

"I don't know." Karen sat forward with a sigh. "I need to talk to Max about it, he hasn't really said anything about it yet. I can't just accept something like this without considering what he would do." Raven felt a little foolish forgetting that, so she just nodded and didn't bring attention to the fact that she'd never had a relationship where she had to make decisions together, never had a relationship that included the building of a life together. It saddened her to think that. For a while when Tessa and Raven were younger they played at making plans.

"Just so you know, this place gets attacked. Supervillians come here to fight sometimes, or they did. They might still and I think you should know that." Raven's voice was serious.

"Yes, well I'd also get to be closer to you." Karen smirked at her. "Looks like a few women would envy that. I was getting a few looks even though I brought my husband with me."

"What?" Raven chuckled and made a confused face as she looked at Karen.

"That tall black woman was watching me really carefully and that dark haired woman with the tattoos," Karen used a hand to draw the path Tessa's tattoos took on her own face and Raven's smile faded just a little thinking that those things Tessa hadn't wanted were now what people would identify her with, "she was looking at you more than anyone at the table, even Emma." Emma's name came out with more than a hint of disgust. Karen didn't even understand why Raven was leery of Emma, but she sure held it against the telepath.

"Storm is the tall black woman and Tessa is the dark haired one." Raven clarified quietly, knowing that all the new names Karen had heard that day would be hard to keep straight, but she didn't want Tessa described that way again. "And Stormy has always been a bit protective of me. I think the first thing she did when she met me was tell someone off for being rude to me."

"That sounds like a story." Karen smiled and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Not nearly as interesting as the story you're making up in your head clearly." Raven shook her head and didn't elaborate right away.

Storm had come into the mansion on the Professor's request all those years ago and even living in the same house it had taken a few days before Storm and Raven had crossed paths right as Scott was taking out his frustration with a poorly gone mission on Raven, because once again someone had to save her. They didn't have to, they just didn't give Raven a chance to save herself. During that time his patience with Raven was becoming less and less and Raven had to admit her own attitude and jealousy at his having a lover safe and with him inspired more than a few barbs she tossed his way. They weren't getting along. It was misplaced on her part, she was angry with the Professor and couldn't even let herself realize that, but she could see it now, she'd punished Scott for the Professor's actions and Scott hadn't even known what was going on.

Sometimes you just click with someone, you just meet them and you know that this person is a good friend and someone worth knowing. It had happened with Storm within the first two minutes after Storm had coldly told Scott that he'd have to wait to belittle his teammates because she had come to recruit Raven. Raven still didn't know if Storm really had come into the gym to recruit her for her own team or if seeing Scott red faced and taking his frustration out on Raven inspired her to do it. Raven had decided that she would follow that woman and leave Scott's team, not that she'd gone on many missions with either. Storm inspired something in the people on her team that Scott just didn't.

"So it's not a secret love affair? She's not the seventeen year old you mentioned?" Karen teased and Raven tried to hide her wince of pain quickly, but it wasn't fast enough.

"No, that was Tessa." Raven's voice was quiet as she tried to act somewhat casual and not go into the entire story behind her and Tessa. "Storm just came in and took me into the team of Xmen she was forming no questions asked. She didn't make me prove myself worthy she didn't put conditions on it, she just accepted me right away, weaknesses and all. I'd been forced onto Scott's team, but Storm… Storm wanted me."

"That does make a difference. Everyone wants to be wanted, accepted." Karen spoke softly, and it was a big topic that a psychologist would just have to sink her teeth into, Raven realized with some apprehension, but Karen sat up a bit straighter as if letting it go. "So, Tessa's the one you can't help but think about all the time?" The small smile was somehow teasing and concerned all at the same time. "She is pretty, quiet and rather intense, but pretty."

"Yeah." Raven didn't volunteer all of Tessa's other good qualities, she just sighed moved to sit back and seem more relaxed. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about all of this, but Raven didn't want to tell Karen. Karen had few details and while she pretended to be nice with Emma, she was cold. Raven didn't want to say anything that would make Karen protected of Raven with Tessa as well, or worse with Emma. Emma was a telepath after all, she had to know the woman she'd helped out still didn't like her.

"Are you going to try to rekindle things?"

"I don't know." Raven looked into Karen's eyes and let her own insecurity and confusion show. "I don't know. There's so much that's happened and I just don't know anything anymore."

"Do you still love her?" Karen asked as if love was the only real question. It seemed so simplistic to Raven, but real life was complicated, and her life was more complicated than most. All Karen got in response was a heavy sigh. "You are too damned young to be so bitter." Karen's voice held some disgust.

"What can I say, I've always been a fast learner." Raven let that bitterness into her voice and turned to stare at the painting on the wall. She was pretty sure that one was one of Peter's. The Professor had liked Peter's style more, it went with his pretentious décor, not to mention the fact that Raven's paintings tended to be of women and not landscapes. She remembered talking with Peter about that, about her passion for the human subjects while he talked about his love of nature. It wasn't that they never crossed over into each others realms, but typically you found Peter in the yard with his art and Raven begging the women on the team to sit still for a while. She'd envied him his simple pleasures, because he didn't have to beg like Raven did. The sun would always be there, the trees would stand as long as he wanted them too.

"It's not learning, it's fear."

"You're a lousy Psychologist. You're supposed to blame my mother and talk about my childhood." Raven lashed out quietly and stood up, but then tried to cover it up with a weak smile. "Perhaps we could talk about phallic symbols and oral fixations, I always loved Freud's weird sexual hang-ups." It was Christy that introduced her to Freud and Christy made him memorable. Raven walked up to the painting and checked the scrawl on the bottom, verifying it was Peter's work. "I knew this artist." Raven turned to look at Karen. "He was alive when I left and he's dead now. He was a gentle man that really wanted nothing more than to paint, kinda like me. He stayed and I left and I'm here and he's not. He really had potential, he could have been a great artist." Raven's fingers caressed the frame and when Karen didn't interrupt her continued. "This place isn't the same and no one in it is either." Raven watched her fingers caress the frame and could hear Karen standing up.

"No one is the same as they were five years ago Raven, no one. People are always changing and growing. It's what I like about studying psychology."

"I'm not the same, but I feel like some of the people here want to believe I am." Raven thought about her old teammates and the few strange looks she'd gotten when her apparently new cynical world view showed.

"Does Tessa see you as you were?"

"No, I don't know what she sees, but it isn't that girl." Raven's finger fell from the frame and she turned to look at Karen. "And what I see when I look at her is warped by our past. I don't know if I'm even seeing her. I see the girl I loved, and I see the spy that hurt me, and I see the woman that wants forgiveness, but who is she? So yeah, I love Tessa and I'll love her forever, but right now I don't even know who I am and I'm not any closer to knowing her and everything's changed and everyone's different. Good is bad and bad is good and I really can't see five minutes into my future through all of this."

"You sound like a midnight philosopher." Karen reached out and rested a hand on Raven's shoulder. "You also sound really lost. You know you have me right? God, when I thought you'd died Raven," Karen's voice cracked. "You're my little glorified cheerleader and it hurt when I thought you were gone. I think you and I have a right to be confused and lost right now. Just give yourself permission to feel lost and know that you'll find yourself and everyone else in time.

"That's what I'm not used to."

"Just letting life happen?"

"Having time. I've been sitting still here in New York for over a month and I keep feeling like any day I'll have to move again. I don't know how to think about a future anymore Karen, I've been living in three month blocks for too long and I just don't know how to live one life anymore."

"Then don't try right away. Just live for this month, and after this month see if you can see two months ahead. Take it in steps. Where will you be in a month? Can you envision that?"

Raven thought about the house in Brooklyn and the room upstairs, but her thoughts didn't move out of the state. For now at least she needed to be here near the people that knew her before her life was shattered, people who knew who she used to be. Maybe it would help her figure out who she was now.


	38. Hellfire 2 Part 19

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

"Where do I see myself for this month?" Raven muttered to herself after she left Karen at her own bedroom door. Karen's idea of taking the future in small chunks made sense to her; it was less anxiety producing to not think of the big picture just yet.

Raven checked Tessa's bedroom quietly and found the woman missing again. Raven stood in the doorway staring at the bed, glancing around the room, and didn't make any move to walk away. She'd talked about her feelings about Tessa for a while today, but she felt she needed to talk with Tessa about it all. What would Raven say? Finally giving up Raven sighed and turned back to her own room to try and sleep.

It took a long time to manage the task, her thoughts and concerns kept stopping her. After she managed, it didn't last long and Raven found herself waking up to some noise. The light suddenly leaking through the closed bathroom door told her that Tessa had finally returned.

The faucet turned on and Raven listened to the interrupted spray as Tessa brushed her teeth and washed her face. Raven heard that water turned off just to hear the shower start up a minute later. It brought back images of a naked Tessa bathing with her and Christy. How perfect Tessa's body had been, Raven rolled onto her back and just listened to the water and the way the sound changed with Tessa's movements. Did Tessa have new scars like Raven had before she mutated? Did her back still look as perfect as it had or were there whip marks on it? Raven's legs shifted under the sheets as she listened to the shampooing she was sure she was hearing. She didn't even remember enhancing her hearing, but she could hear Tessa sigh heavily. It sounded troubled. Raven sat up and debated about going in there to talk, but aside from the time in the Hellfire club, they'd never been casually naked around each other.

The water turned off as Raven debated and Raven stayed in bed quietly until the light went back out in the bathroom. She got up and shifted into a long t-shirt much like the one she used to wear years ago and moved for the bathroom door. Knocking softly on the other bathroom door which connected to Tessa's room Raven spoke quietly "Tessa?"

"Come in." Tessa answered her and Raven opened the door to see Tessa sitting up in her bed with the soft light from the night table on. She smiled just a little to see that the elegant Tessa was still wearing an oversized t-shirt to bed, her wet hair brushed back, looking very different from her normal look.

"You always go to bed late and wake up early." Raven complained quietly as she moved towards the bed to sit down. "I can't need more sleep than you do."

"I've just been rather busy lately investigating how deep the Professor's plots have gone."

"So you aren't avoiding me?" Raven asked while staring into Tessa's eyes.

"I considered it giving you space."

"Don't." Raven's eyebrows drew together in irritation. "Ten years is enough space. I'll tell you if I need more." Raven let out a loud breath. "With you giving me space and Emma refusing to I just don't know what to do with either of you. If I need space I'll tell you Tessa, and I know you'll actually listen." Tessa remained quiet, as if she knew there was more that Raven wanted to say. Raven couldn't bring herself to tell Tessa how confused she was; worried that Tessa would think she needed even more space. Space wasn't helping Raven understand anything. "I was thinking of," Raven's voice became hesitant, "just temporarily, moving in here."

"Why temporarily?" Tessa asked gently.

Raven's hands started to play with the sheets that Tessa had partially tossed off of herself as she thought. "I can't make long term plans just yet." A short humorless chuckle escaped her lips. "One day at a time is all I can handle and I don't want to lie to you and say I'm moving in, when I don't know. I'm still figuring it all out. All I'm saying is I'm willing to stay for now and that I'll go get my things from the house."

"Do you need help?" Tessa smiled just a little, showing Raven she liked the plan.

"I need a van." Raven thought about the paintings that she hadn't put in storage yet. Lady Heather was going to be surprised by the size of the next delivery. Raven's eyes fell from Tessa at that thought as she considered why she had sent the paintings to Lady Heather, and that it wasn't really valid anymore. Still she wanted Lady Heather to protect her art. "But I want to get the stuff myself. I shouldn't show other people Mystique's home." And the blue woman might still be there and eager to play embarrassing tricks on Raven. It was one way Mystique showed her affection, but Raven wasn't feeling up to public humiliation.

"That won't be a problem." Tessa shifted a little in the bed, making more room for Raven by moving her feet. Raven scooted back into the vacated spot.

"Well, good." Raven felt like a coward, so she forced herself to look back up into Tessa's eyes. "Kissing you," Her words trailed off, as if running from her and leaving Raven unarmed.

"I liked kissing you too." Tessa leaned forward a little. "I always liked kissing you."

Raven blushed and felt a shy smile on her own lips, which she tried to get rid of. It made her feel like the girl she used to be, talking like this with Tessa. A darker thought helped her do it. "Tessa, what are we now?" She needed to know what Tessa's thoughts were; maybe they were clearer than her own.

"I don't know. I can't answer that for you Raven. We have to figure that out together."

"It's been so long." Raven leaned into the hug Tessa had moved to give her and let Tessa hold her. Raven's voice was mournful and Tessa caressed her hair in a soothing move. "Several lifetimes ago."

"There's no rush to figuring this out." Tessa spoke softly. "I'm just glad you're back. When I heard you'd actually done it, that you'd actually left. Well Christy had told me I might never see you again and that haunted me. I didn't want the last thing I ever said to you to be that." Tessa held Raven in silence and Raven nestled into the dark haired woman without saying anything as they cuddled sitting up. When Tessa shifted she pulled Raven down onto the bed with her, partly laying Raven on top of her and Raven just let her, enjoying being held and listening to Tessa's heart beat.

She didn't fall asleep and she could tell Tessa hadn't either, but Raven was careful not to move too much, afraid it would shake Tessa out of the trance that was keeping Raven in her arms. She didn't want to have Tessa let go just yet. When Tessa shifted a little Raven tensed up a little and did her best to just readjust her own pose to be comfortable for them both, rather than pulling away.

"It's okay." Tessa whispered and held Raven a little tighter. Raven relaxed into her and took a deep breath, smelling the soap and shampoo from Tessa's shower.

The silence became comfortable and comforting, but Raven finally moved back and up, looking down into Tessa's face. "Are you okay?" She finally asked.

Tessa didn't pretend she didn't understand, she just sighed heavily and stared past Raven at the ceiling. "He was into a lot of things Raven." Tessa spoke quietly. "It didn't stop with us." Tessa was too hesitant and Raven looked at her with concern. "He had a network of spies. He duplicated what he did to us, he made a couple care about each other, but this time he encouraged it, he saw how well our love worked on us so he tried to duplicate it, and," Tessa's voice dropped to be even quieter, "they died. Third mission out, one did short missions, and she was killed. Her lover went after her and never got out. She died as well and the Professor just wrote them off so coldly. Barely a word of remorse, no concept of his guilt, just regret that he didn't train them better but nothing about how he'd manipulated them. They were tools in this great dream of his just like we were and they died alone. No one even knew they existed. I used to have nightmares of something like that happening to us and," Tessa shook her head and Raven noticed she was just staring. Tessa's eyes were too glassy to ignore and finally Raven found she could move, pulling Tessa closer to her. "That came so close to being us Raven."

"But we made it." Raven spoke soothingly, in spite of her anger at that man. "We made it Tessa."

"Yes, but they didn't." Tessa shook her head in disgust and sighed heavily again. When she moved to sit up Raven felt the loss of contact and wondered at how after all these years it could have felt so very right to be cuddled up with Tessa. "Night after night I work on his computers and every night I find something else that makes me wonder how I never knew, how I followed him, and I feel disgusted with myself for not protecting you better; for leaving you here with him to be manipulated for years." Tessa stood up and was pacing so she didn't see the shocked look on Raven's face, and Raven managed to cover it up before Tessa turned to look at her again. "Of leaving you so long and with so little information that you'd actually look for me, come to me in that place. If he had just told you what was going on." Tessa shook her head in disgust. "I deal in probabilities and potentials, not in what ifs, but I can't help but recalculate the past and try and find a way it could have been better, and Raven, there were so many times where a different choice would have made all the difference."

"My mother used to say hindsight was 20/20." Raven never quoted that woman anymore, but it fit here. "We can't relive and fix it Tessa, we just have to deal with it." It almost felt like Christy had said those words and maybe she had at one point and Raven was just repeating something she didn't remember hearing, or maybe, just maybe she'd actually come up with that one herself. "We've all made choices we aren't proud of." Raven's eyes fell to the floor as she remembered the one she hadn't told anyone but Mystique about. "But the difference between us and them Tessa, is that we were trying to do good."

"The Professor thinks he was doing good." Tessa's voice was deeper with something self hating and cold.

Raven sighed just as heavily as Tessa had earlier, seeing that this wasn't a simple issue at all. This day was filled with difficult talks and too much introspection, but Raven forged on. "Irene knew I'd go to Genosha and she knew how much it would hurt me, but she didn't stop me." Raven sat up completely and looked up into Tessa's eyes. "But Irene told me that there were two paths and the other one lead to something worse. Still she apologized and she hurt because of the fact I hurt. If a precog can't find a way around all of life's pains Tessa, how could anyone else?" Raven stood up. "And the difference here is that she knows and cares that I went through that and she didn't force me to go through it for a goal of her own. If she could have found another way she would have. Tessa, that's the difference. He put his goals above people and he did everything he could to make us do the same. Irene could have turned me into a terrorist by now, it wouldn't have been nearly as hard for her as I would like to think, but I'm still just an artist. She didn't twist me into her warrior; she made her vision protect what I really am. I'm a better artist now than when I left, she sent me into lives and cities that did that for me."

Raven reached out for Tessa and took a hand that had been holding Tessa's other elbow. "And don't think I'm innocent of hurting people." Raven debated about admitting it and her teeth nibbled on her lower lip a little nervously as she played with Tessa's hand. Tessa's fingers moved to hold her own and Raven looked back up into Tessa's eyes. Her own were slightly pleading and Tessa's expression softened. "Christy, she came from an alternate future." Raven emphasized the word future as she stared into Tessa's eyes. "And I lived with a precog for a little while, before Irene sent me to New Orleans. Knowing the future is hard, it's a lot of responsibility and sometimes you end up hurting people you don't mean to hurt." Emma's pained expression watching another student die come to mind and Raven knew even back in the beginning she wouldn't have wanted that. And those kids that died because Raven said nothing. Raven's eyes fell back to the hand holding her own and let go, moving away and wrapping her own arms around herself as she talked quietly. "Christy was ready to warn," Raven's words trailed off. She started to pace and Tessa let her. "Irene told me something and it was up to me to make the decision." She forced herself to stop walking and look into Tessa's now concerned eyes. "I came upon a fork in the path, and I took the most traveled one." She semi quoted a poem she barely remembered. "I kept quiet and let the future play out like it had in other worlds, people got hurt and people died." Raven took a deep breath. "Children died, and it was the better path, I tell myself that, but it was the selfish path too because I picked it based on what I wanted."

"You knew about Selene's plot to take over the Inner circle." Tessa whispered it and sounded shocked. Raven wasn't surprised at how quickly Tessa put the puzzled together even with missing pieces, Tessa was always good at that. Raven's head fell forward and she stared at the carpet. "The Hellions."

"Yes." Raven admitted.

"Did you do that to punish Emma?" Tessa asked softly.

"No. The other path…" Raven's head shook from side to side. "I didn't want to hurt her, even then. I had a letter for her I carried around and every day I considered sending it," Raven's voice grew teary. "God." She stared up at the ceiling. "It was so hard, but the other path was ugly, too ugly."

"You did that for me?" Tessa's voice was a little harsher. Perhaps Tessa had liked those children, Raven should have thought of that before admitting this. She'd never told Emma because it would hurt her, the blonde would want all the details and hearing what her kids would have done to her would have hurt her, but Raven hadn't considered Tessa's feeling attached to the kids.

"Not just you." Raven's watery eyes moved from the ceiling to Tessa's. "Emma, and the kids Emma went to teach afterwards. I even did it for the kids that died. They were being raised in the Hellfire club Tessa, some of them would have become monsters like Selene, and others… well, death is better than being that woman's slave." After an awkward silence Raven gave a humorless smile. "So you see, there is plenty of guilt to go around Tessa, you don't need to take more than your fair share. I understand hard decisions, I really do. I had to decide that kids had to die."

"Oh Raven." Tessa stared at her and Raven felt nervous and anxious for some hint that this would be okay, that she would be forgiven. "Emma's not going to take this well."

"I know, that's why I didn't tell her."

"But you will." Tessa sighed. "I know you Raven, and if you start to care about her you can't lie to her."

"That was before I spent five years lying to everyone around me in the mansion and another five lying to everyone else." Raven shook her head. "And who says I'm going to care about her?"

"Raven," Tessa shook her head, "You already do. She told me about how hard you worked to not hurt her in Genosha, about your offer to leave her so you wouldn't hurt her and we both know that you weren't entirely sure you'd survive on your own especially if you were leaving her with the tunnel the two of you had cleared, basically you were going to give her the only ticket out. I saw you try to stop Storm from hurting her. You can't even spar with her without worrying. Raven, this is why she doesn't give up. You claim one thing, but all your actions say something else. You care." Tessa's voice wasn't very welcome at the moment. "Or was it all guilt?"

"No, I," Raven started and then shut her mouth and clenched her jaw as she glared at Tessa. She was angry that the dark haired woman turned this into something about Emma. It wasn't guilt, but Raven didn't want to care. "I'm going to bed." Raven announced and started for the door.

"I understand, and even though I don't feel you'd ever do that if it weren't the only thing you could do," Tessa called after her, "I forgive you Raven." Raven felt like the words loosened her control, but she just turned and gave Tessa one long lingering look. "And when you do tell Emma, realize that her first reaction won't be her only one." Raven just nodded before leaving.

………………..

"I wish you wouldn't do that." Raven leaned forward and stared at Karen from the seat across from her.

"Do what?"

"Become Dr. Freud all of a sudden. I agreed to spend some time with my friend and you go and turn into a counselor. Save it for the kids and just," Raven sighed. "Just be my friend." Raven couldn't deny that taking the job here had been good for Karen so far, but it was also changing her. A month living and working in the same place probably messed with her head. Raven wondered how Karen would feel if Raven turned the tables and brought that issue to light making it all about Karen.

"I am being your friend. A friend that is concerned about you and has a degree in something useful." Karen answered. "I've offered to help you find a psychologist of your own Raven, but if you won't do that then what am I supposed to do, just let you flounder?"

"Yes!" Raven's voice rose a little too much and she closed her eyes and grimaced as she fought to control the portal that wanted to answer her call. "Yes." She whispered once she had it under control. "Just let me deal with it."

"Are you though? Are you dealing with it?" Karen's voice was cold and Raven glared at her. "Because from here I don't see it. I see you spending time with the very person you ran from months ago. Does the term Stockholm syndrome mean anything to you? Let's not forget about survivor's guilt."

A low growl escaped Raven's throat as she stood up. "I think we should just cancel this fun little afternoon."

"I heard people saying that Emma Frost raped you." Karen pressed on and Raven's face reddened in anger.

"Well they don't know what the hell they're talking about."

"She terrified you Raven, when you first saw her you were terrified." Karen stood up and all four hands moved to rest on her hips. "Dammit Raven, I care about you. Stop holding it all in, it'll destroy you."

"It wasn't her." Raven's eyes glowed. "It was who I thought might be with her."

"Then who was it?" Karen pressed and Raven held up her hands, palms out, "Don't push me away, tell me."

"You can't understand. Just leave this alone."

"So only Emma and Tessa can understand?" Karen pressed on, her voice irritated.

"Yes." Raven glared at her friend. "Dammit Karen, just leave this the fuck alone."

"No. I can't just let it go Raven." Karen's voice was cold. "You are stuck in something so unhealthy and you can't even see it. Every morning you let Emma into your room and I have to wonder why and what you do in there. And Tessa let them hurt you, rape you. Did she help them?"

"Who the hell is telling you this shit?" Raven demanded, ready to hunt the person down.

"Can you tell me it isn't true? It isn't important who's telling me this, just that it wasn't you. You didn't tell me."

"No one here can understand." Raven spoke slowly while tears trailed down her face. "You push and you push, but you don't understand Karen. If you were my friend you wouldn't push me like this. It isn't Stockholm syndrome, it isn't me crawling back to my captors, it isn't. You can't understand, and I can't explain it to you, so just drop it." Raven shook her head. Karen had tried the gentle approach weeks ago, but apparently she thought it was time for the brutal one.

"Tell me it isn't true." Karen sounded like she really thought Raven couldn't say that and not lie.

"It isn't true." Raven stared right into Karen's eyes. "But you don't have the clinical distance needed to hear me do you. You're just an angry woman wanting to punish me along with the people you think hurt me. There is a reason psychologists don't treat friends, it's because they can't hear what a friend is saying, but you keep this up it won't be an issue because I won't be your friend."

"This isn't about punishing you Raven, why are you feeling punished?" Karen still had that damned clinical voice.

"Because you treat me like I'm crazy for being near them, like I'm sick and warped by my past and can't," Raven's voice cracked, "stop people from hurting me, but I can. I'm strong Karen, stronger than you'll ever know and I don't like being treated like a weak victim. I'm not a victim anymore." Raven's vision was bleary as she shook her head from side to side. "You can't understand what that club was like, what I went through, and telling you wouldn't make a difference, because you can't listen. You want it to be so black and white, this person is good, that person is bad, but that's not how it works. That time was different and it goes beyond black and white." Raven felt tired and it was only one in the afternoon. Her shoulders slumped with the emotional drain. "I can't talk to you."

"You say I can't understand, but I could if you explained it to me." Karen's voice was softer, pleading.

"No," Raven started for the door, but called out, "Have a telepath check you out, you seem too emotional. The Empath might have been playing with you again." Raven's fists clenched as she kept walking away.

Two hours later Raven stood in the kitchen doorway with narrow eyes glaring at the blonde man looking through the fridge. "Hello Bobby." Her voice was cold and he looked up at her with a slightly confused expression. "You've been talking to Karen haven't you?"

"Well, she lives here of course I talked to her." He gave Raven a smile but Raven didn't return it.

"And I was thinking the comments she made sounded a lot like you. No one else would suggest Tessa," Raven's jaw clenched, "held me down for them." She didn't like talking about this, but she wasn't letting this go.

"I didn't say she did, I just said I wondered." Bobby's smile was gone. "A week is a long time to be in that club and you won't talk about it. I'm just concerned, and I talked to the psychologist."

"No, you were using what happened to me to create drama and make Karen hate Emma and Tessa like you do. That's disgusting Bobby, I'm glad you find my rapes so useful for you." He looked stunned at her words, but Raven didn't give him a chance to speak she just turned around and walked away. It was safer for him that way, because she wanted to hit him. He'd been her friend and now he was spreading rumors, ugly rumors.

Raven slipped into her room and started to draw, hating how the familiar interior of that club filled the paper, but with everyone else thinking about it today she was forced to. Shaw filled the paper, sitting on a chair and Raven's pencil moved harder and harder on the page until it ripped. She had her own form of therapy and it had been working for her for a while. When Bobby's face filled another page, Raven didn't feel any remorse at destroying it as well. She felt hurt and betrayed and she wouldn't be talking to him for a good long time.

After her vengeful drawings Raven pulled out her art supplies and started to paint again. She didn't pay much attention to time and while she did turn the lamp on she didn't really notice herself doing it or that it was getting late. Raven was too absorbed in painting something so abstract she didn't even know what she was doing; she just let the paint flow from her brush in bold strokes. It took shape, but Raven kept moving without taking the time to analyze it. It was something she'd learned in her travels, to sometimes just let the art take her hostage. It was freeing.

The knock startled Raven out of her artistic trance and she glanced at the clock to see she'd missed dinner. That was probably why someone dropped by. Her hands were speckled in colors and Raven started to wipe them off as she moved toward the door. "Raven," Emma's voice filled the hall and Raven just sighed heavily before opening the door. The sight of the blonde holding a plate of food was almost expected. "You missed dinner. I hope you know that you owe me for leaving me alone at the table with Karen."

"You had Tessa." Raven reached out and took the plate, but left the door opened for Emma to follow her inside.

"No, Tessa's team went on a short mission." Raven looked up, feeling nervous for the dark haired woman. "She should be back later tonight." Emma finished and moved to look at the canvas Raven had been working on. "Well, that's certainly different from your other work."

Raven sat down and looked at the canvas from the distance for the first time. The whites and blacks, the burgundy's and navy's, all the colors looked random, until Raven looked harder and a very abstract picture started to form. Women, Raven chuckled as she noticed the swell of a breast, and a hand cupping it. Her subconscious was more lecherous than her conscious it seemed, Raven tilted her head and studied the art piece, finding flaws that she doubted others here could see, but that stood out to her.

"It's passionate." Emma spoke softly, studying the piece. "wild and energetic." Emma tilted her head and stared at it, Raven found herself watching the blonde wondering what she thought of Raven's art. "This is a beautiful piece." Raven usually just considered these pieces throw aways, they took little time in relation to her other work and were more an explosion of her emotions than anything else. She kept them, but she didn't really value them. "Can I buy it?" Emma's words surprised Raven and she turned to look at the piece again.

"It isn't even done." Raven slowly picked up the fork and took a bite of the vegetables.

"But I already like it." Emma smiled. "And my office is rather bare. I know you'll only make it better."

It was a throw away, but Raven felt strange giving it to Emma, even for money, because these pieces were so personal. "What do you see?" Raven asked quietly, curious about what drew Emma to this piece. Emma had seen other works but hadn't made an offer on others.

"I see your passion." Emma studied the painting, "and I see a bed with two women on it, making love," Emma moved and Raven knew she was being looked at, "and another woman watching." Raven's eyebrows drew together as she tried to see the third woman, she'd found the first two. "Here." Emma moved her hand to point to the left corner and it took a while to see how Emma would call that a woman, but it seemed a bit of a stretch to Raven. "Passions witness." When Emma said that Raven decided that could be the name of this piece, it sounded right and these things were so hard to name. She could flesh out that third form, make it a bit more like a woman. Raven set her plate down on the bed and moved closer to the canvas, reaching out for her palette and brushes. "No, you eat first Picasso." Emma sounded amused and Raven blushed a little at a witness to her inability to control her muse.

Raven's relationship with Emma was complex and it looked like at least for today it wasn't a struggle for control, Emma seemed willing to just let Raven be. Raven never knew what she'd get when she let Emma into her rooms, but the pushy sexuality had calmed.

While she ate dinner she stared at her art and negotiated a price. It still felt odd, but it would give Raven money, and she needed that. She'd gone through too many canvases lately and her wallet wasn't bottomless.

When Raven finally got to paint, she ignored Emma's watching her, well mostly ignored her. Raven did glance at the blonde a couple times and watched how the blonde's eyes caressed the canvas, or the softer look on her face when she didn't know Raven was looking. "You know you're easier to get along with when you paint." Emma spoke as Raven filled in that third woman Emma had seen in the painting. "I'm still amazed how it keeps you calm."

"I can ignore you easier." Raven muttered quietly and put her brush to canvas.

"Now you're just doing it to be contradictory." Emma sounded like she was smiling. Raven ignored her in favor of the canvas, but she couldn't help but think about how Karen wondered what she and Emma did in her rooms. Telling people they normally just had coffee wouldn't go far, and saying that they usually argued wouldn't be believed. Why would anyone let someone into their room just to argue? Raven thought and she couldn't really answer it even though she knew she should be able to.

Raven liked arguing with Emma. It was warped, that was true, but she did like it. She didn't have to be nice to Emma, didn't have to be polite. Emma didn't expect it of her. Emma didn't give her the wounded expression that the others did if Raven said something rude or got angry. Emma didn't treat Raven like she was fragile and gave just as good as she got. She didn't act like Raven was weak, like the rape was proof of it. The others may not even realize they treated her differently, not all of the others, but too many.

A slight shifting of position from Emma reminded Raven she was painting and she put the brush back on canvas, ignoring the blush of being caught staring blankly at her canvas now as she thought about the woman behind her.

"The summer term is almost over. Soon the students that were able to go home for the summer will be returning." Emma started to talk about her own job, which happened more and more in these talks, during the lulls in their arguments. "Scott and Jean arranged a little field trip for the children that were left behind before they return, apparently a little trip to make them feel better about the fact that their parents don't love them." Emma's voice was bitter.

"Yeah, that'll make it all better won't it?" Raven sighed as she finished up the one figure and looked over the canvas for anything else that needed more work.

"They're making an entire day of it, but one stop is an art museum." Emma's tone made the offer clear. Spend time with the children and get to go see art. "When we do the other little stops you could go shop."

"I have no money, don't need clothes, and don't have a real home." Raven turned to look at Emma. "What would I buy?"

"Well, I have to work, but Tessa does still wear clothes. You could take her with you." Emma smirked at her. "And maybe you'll learn to shift on new clothes, something with more style. I've grown tired of your casual look, and the start of the term dance would be a good opportunity to show everyone you have some style. You must, you are an artist."

"Don't be so sure," Raven smiled just a little, "I'm also a lesbian." Emma laughed.

"Oh, you're more than a stereotype dear, much more." Emma shook her head and smiled. "So far you've never been as bad a fashion disaster as Tessa was when I decided to teach her how to buy clothes."

Raven's smile faded as she thought of that. Things that Raven never got to do with Tessa, and it would have been a young Tessa Emma took shopping.

"What is it?" Emma asked.

"Just lost time." Raven grimaced and moved forward to sign her art.

"All the more reason to take her out now."

"Okay."

…………………..

The next morning Raven found a shame faced Karen waiting to talk to her when she came downstairs. "Raven, I'm sorry." Karen's four hands twisted at each other. "I was influenced by that empathic kid, but still, I had no right to push you like that. And now Bobby is upset with me because what's said in a session isn't supposed to be talked about, and while I never told you he said that, you figured it out."

"I still meant everything I said." Raven's voice was cold. It wasn't like Karen hadn't said what she thought, she just lacked that bit of herself that stopped her from saying something. Raven knew now where Karen stood and she didn't like it. "I don't want you analyzing me."

"I'm sorry." Karen reached out slowly and Raven's body tensed up when she was touched. Karen looked hurt and Raven forced her body to relax.

"It's not Stockholm syndrome." Raven glared at Karen.

"I'm sorry I said that to you. And I'm sorry I said that about Tessa." Raven noticed Karen didn't apologize about Emma though. "The kids are going on a trip today. Maybe we could spend the day…"

"I'm going out with Tessa." Raven's voice softened when she say Karen's disappointment. "Maybe later."

"Yeah, later." Karen took a step back. "Max probably misses me anyway."

"Yeah." Raven gave Karen a small smile, just to reassure her but not large enough to tell her it was all forgiven, because it wasn't, not yet and if Karen didn't lay off it might not be. That hurt. Raven left Karen in the entry way and made her way back to the office Tessa was using, the Professor's old office. Tessa didn't know she was going out with Raven just yet. Hopefully the dark haired woman wouldn't make a liar of Raven.

Raven slowed as she got closer to the slightly opened door because she could hear voices, and a familiar laugh, "Emma, I am not going to go change."

"You're going to be asked out, shouldn't you look your best?" Emma's voice wasn't a surprise now and Raven glanced down the hall guiltily, before moving to the side of the empty hall to listen.

"That doesn't really help her." Tessa's voice softened. "Raven gets nervous and stammers, or at least she did. It was so cute the first time she tried to ask me out. I had to drag it out of her. She was so afraid I wouldn't be interested, even though I thought I'd made it so clear I was."

"I can see her doing that." Emma's words only made Raven's blush more intense. The blonde's voice lost some humor and became more serious. "Tessa,"

"I know." It sounded tender and Raven struggled with her desire to hear more, to know what Emma hadn't said but Tessa had heard. She wanted to, but this wasn't really about her and no matter how much she might want to know, Raven felt like this was private. She walked away.

Tessa never had answered Raven's question about her relationship with Emma and Raven felt like she needed to ask it again.

Raven found herself wandering around the library aimlessly, not really interested in the books at all, but she made a weak effort to look at the titles as she waited. She had no idea how long she should give Tessa before going to ask her to come with her today, not that it was a surprise with Emma warning Tessa. Raven's eyebrows drew together as she thought about that, and the way Emma was trying to talk Tessa into dressing up for it. It didn't make sense and really didn't fit with the scene Raven felt was probably going on in the office now.

It wasn't really a date Raven was asking Tessa out on, just time together. Raven picked up some book by Laurell Hamilton and moved to sit in the window seat. Would Raven have agreed to ask Tessa on a full date? Not just yet, she decided. There were too many unanswered questions for that.

She'd finished the first chapter and decided that maybe she'd actually read this book. The main character was interesting and raised zombies. Strange powers, but then Raven knew all about strange powers.

"Raven." The voice was soft and Raven looked up to see Tessa wearing a sweat shirt, that was probably what Emma was objecting to but it made Raven smile back, her mind replaying fond memories. It was probably intentional, since it was summer and Tessa couldn't really plan to wear that shirt into the city.

Raven didn't stammer, and she didn't get nervous. She wanted to believe it was because she was older, but it probably had more to do with the fact that she knew Tessa was here so that Raven could ask. Why Tessa didn't just say yes and avoid the asking was beyond Raven, because Tessa knew. "The kids are going to an art museum. We could go and then ditch them, maybe do some shopping?" It felt a little strange to give Emma's idea for the day, but at least Raven didn't plagiarize them, she never said I thought we could, just that they could.

"Sounds like fun." Tessa smiled softly.

"Yeah." Raven felt that familiar flutter in her chest that told her she'd never fallen out of love. She just didn't know what to do about it, but she did let herself feel it. "They're leaving in an hour."

But what was going on with Emma and Tessa, and her, Raven had to admit she was a part of the confusing puzzle.

"I'll be ready. I'll meet you at the bus. An hour is enough time for me to finish up something I've been working on."

"Okay." Raven's smile was a little shy and she watched Tessa walk away, before slowly opening her book again to kill time.

…………….

The bus trip was a little stressful. Raven had to sit on a bus filled with teenagers and a small handful of adults to keep them under control, and for the bus ride Raven found herself acting partly as a warden, glaring at a student or two that acted too wild. Her glares worked better than ever, or her being the mysterious stranger made the students more cautious about ticking her off.

"And you actually choose to do this." Raven muttered quietly to the blonde telepath sitting in the seat in front of her and Tessa. "Are you sure you aren't a masochist as well?" She could see the curve of Emma's cheek move as the blonde smirked, but was still facing the front of the bus.

"No, that isn't one of my vices." Emma turned just a little bit and looked at Raven with amusement and a slightly searching look, it made Raven blush as Emma's eyes seemed to say, no that's your thing isn't it? Tessa's hand moved to gently rest on Raven's shoulder and Raven turned to look at her.

"K.I.S.S.I.N.G." A girl started to semi sing behind them and Raven turned to glare at her.

"No one here could stop me from killing you and tossing your body off the bus." She calmly told the girl. "Power has its privileges."

The teen stared at her in shock and Raven gave her a small cruel smile, feeling more like Christy in her bravado than ever, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say more like Emma, but the noisy bus was irritating enough. She wasn't going to let that noise find her as a target. The girl looked away and sat up straighter, clearly a little nervous and Raven didn't feel at all remorseful.

"Once you are done there I believe there is a ten year old in the back you could make cry." Emma spoke, but while her words weren't too friendly sounding, Raven noticed the slight curve of Emma's lips, hinting to the telepath's amusement.

"I hear that the museum has a new collection." Tessa interrupted with something else, perhaps thinking that joking about that surrounded by kids wasn't a good idea.

When the finally got to where the bus was dropping everyone off Raven was eager to get off. Still she waited in the way kids learned very young, for her turn to leave as seat after seat emptied in front of them. Jean paid for all their admission and that was the only moment she actually had Jean's attention, when Jean nodded that she had it taken care of.

Raven stood in the entryway of the museum far enough from the kids to be separate. "How about we wait and see where they go and then go somewhere else?" Raven smiled and spoke quietly to Tessa, whose quick nod was the only hint she'd had enough of the kids as well.

Jean, Scott, and Hank in an image inducer moved with the group of kids in one direction, but Raven noticed Emma standing back from them, not following. Raven stared for a moment as Emma stepped closer to a painting in the entry way. "Raven, what do you think of this one?"

Raven glanced at Tessa, who gave Raven an encouraging look. Raven felt puzzled by why, but she moved closer to Emma and looked at the reproduction. The real art wasn't kept near the doors. "Well," Raven stared at the painting. "I always felt these splash of colors on canvas weren't art." She really tried to see the art in it, tried to see something about the composition, the placement, but she just couldn't. "I could make this in fifteen minutes."

"Doubtlessly it would be better, even as a splash of color on a canvas." Emma complimented her and Raven felt a little out of her element. "Tessa, when we get back I have to show you the painting I purchased." Emma looked past Raven to Tessa. "It isn't Raven's normal style, which I do so love, but it is exquisite. It has more passion in a square inch than this has over the entire canvas." Emma's tone made it clear she wasn't a fan of the painting in front of them. Raven didn't know what to feel about the extreme compliments, a mixture of embarrassment and pride, some gratitude mixed in, swirled through her. There was also a hint of suspicion, but Raven saw the smile on Tessa's face and let that emotion go.

"I'd love to see it." Tessa's smile moved to Raven, but she still talked with Emma. "She has grown so much as an artist. I remember her frustrated groans as she struggled to learn how to draw, whenever she struggled with hands or feet, or when a pose or shadowing had her tossing papers on the floor and starting over." Raven blushed as she remembered that as well.

"You were always so patient." Raven spoke quietly. Her eyes trailed over to Emma just to include her in the conversation. "I had to teach myself and Tessa was my only model for a year. After I could move around and didn't have to hide I tried drawing Jean or even the boys, but no one else had the kind of patience with me Tessa had."

"Well if you need more models now, I wouldn't mind posing for you again." Emma's words reminded Raven of those sittings and she went quiet. "I was hoping I could tag along with the two of you and hear what an artist has to say about the art."

"I had no training."

"And I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't better for it." Emma stood up a little taller and Raven glanced over at Tessa. Tessa's expression wasn't giving away her opinion of the question.

"Okay." Raven didn't want to be a jerk after Emma had been so nice in front of Tessa, and really her time with Tessa alone didn't start until they left the museum.

"You don't have to watch the children?" Tessa asked as the three of them started toward a hall going in the opposite direction of the others.

"We brought one extra teacher, so we are trading off on events we don't have to watch the little monsters at."

"This isn't really a fun field trip for them is it?" Raven asked, knowing that even she would have hated this place as a teenager. Her interest in art didn't happen until she was locked up in the mansions basement with little else to do.

"It's a cultural outing. Really it would do the little heathens good to know some culture." Emma's tone made it clear she'd been partly responsible for planning this. Raven didn't elaborate on how bored the kids would get.

"Oh, this piece is nice." Tessa offered, stopping their slow walk to study a piece Raven was familiar with. She'd seen this one in Italy, but apparently its tour had taken it here now. "I love the use of color."

"The brush strokes are bold too." Raven stepped closer, starting a discussion with Tessa on the merits of the piece.

"I still find the piece a little too masculine." Emma offered a less enthused comment and Raven had to move closer to Tessa to make room for Emma as close to the work as Emma wanted to be. "Angular and too bold." Emma clarified when Raven just stared at her waiting to hear what constituted masculine work. At least it wasn't the use of blue, Raven thought and noticed the slight smile on Emma's face. That woman probably liked the painting just fine but wanted to force Raven to defend her appreciation. Clearly Emma liked arguing just to argue.

Occasionally on their trip through the museum all three would agree on a piece, but when Emma stared at a clearly horrid example of someone's work and claimed it was a masterpiece even Emma couldn't keep a straight face. "Okay, so it's horrid." She admitted and Tessa chuckled, shaking her head. Raven noticed the affectionate glance Emma got when Tessa must have assumed Raven was looking at the art one last time before they moved on. That affectionate expression was aimed at Raven moments later when Raven told a story about the artist of the next piece, a story she'd told her students during her time as a Professor. Raven just noticed these things and promised herself that once she had Tessa alone she'd actually ask about it.

The sound of teenagers preceded a heavy sigh from Emma, a resigned sigh. "Looks like it's almost time for the next stop."

"Oh don't look so glum, you love them and you know it." Tessa teased Emma. Raven felt a wave of guilt as she heard that, knowing that Emma did love her children. She'd seen the blonde's face as she watched the last of her Genosha students die, and she'd been partly responsible for the first children dying. Raven's head bowed as she felt the weight of her guilt, but Tessa moved to rub her shoulder against Raven's shoulder in a cat like move of affection as Emma turned to look at the teenagers coming their way.

"Well, it has been nice. I'll see you two later." Emma hadn't caught Raven's mood and Raven did her best to cover it up when Emma looked back.

"See you later." Raven told Emma and felt Tessa rest a hand on her shoulder as she fought to appear normal.

……………….

Raven and Tessa left the museum a little after the others and caught a cab rather than walk to the little shop Tessa wanted to see and Raven never remembered seeing before. With the cabbie right there Raven decided to wait to ask her question. They'd have more privacy in a crowded room than in that cab. Especially with the way the cabby kept glancing back at them, clearly impressed with their appearance. Tessa wasn't wearing her sweatshirt anymore and Raven had dressed herself in something a little low cut, but not scandalous. No the scandalous award went to Emma, who actually wore that white outfit out in public.

Once they were on the sidewalk Raven decided to wait a little longer. Tessa was already in shopping mode and looking at something on the manikin in the window. "No, you need darker colors. Pastels and light colors make you look washed out." Raven spoke quietly. "You look amazing in dark colors." She added with a shy smile.

"I was just looking at the cut, but thank you for protecting me from a bad purchase." Tessa teased her.

"Anytime Milady." Raven teased back, as they approached the door. While they shopped Raven gave advice, noticed clothes she wanted to try and learn to form on her own body, and encouraged Tessa to use her as the pack mule holding all of Tessa's potential purchases while Tessa looked.

They'd never done this, but it still felt like old times.

After shopping they really didn't have that many bags, three wasn't that bad. Raven knew Tessa wouldn't be the type to load them down with bags of clothes she wouldn't have time to wear and Raven loved that about Tessa, loved her practicality.

"A late lunch?" Raven asked as Tessa held the doors for her. She had to give Tessa a fond smile at the familiar move. Tessa barely nodded.

"Any suggestions? I rarely went to eat around here and it's been years. Anything I know could be out of business by now."

"I may have one idea. It's just a few blocks away." And so they didn't need a cab. Raven didn't really care for the cabs in New York, so that idea won.

As they walked Raven readjusted her grip on the two bags she was carrying and finally asked. "What exactly is your relationship with Emma?"


	39. Hellfire 2 Part 20

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

"That's not an easy question." Tessa sighed. "As you know, everything to do with Emma is complicated." Raven just nodded, she could empathize with that. Tessa stopped walking and turned to face Raven, "It was a mission, but Raven I was there a long time and she helped to protect me from the seedier people at the club. She'd manipulate things so I wouldn't have to serve those known to be cruel if she could, and I in turn protected her when Sebastian did stupid things to put her in danger with his damned love of gambling. He actually gambled with people as the stakes sometimes. I spent more and more time in her rooms so that neither of us had to entertain anyone else and eventually we started doing what everyone else assumed we were doing."

Raven had suspected this, but it still hurt to hear that Tessa needed that protection. They started walking again and it was in silence, but Raven didn't interrupt the silence, she wanted Tessa to talk more and maybe Tessa needed a moment to think. "Raven, I don't want you to feel like I was unfaithful."

"No," Raven's voice was quiet but strong. There was one thing Christy had thought that Raven agreed with, even though it was hard. "I'm glad you had her. When I had to leave you there I was trusting her to watch out for you, because I couldn't. I knew she would." Raven clenched her fist to feel the pain somewhere else for a moment so she didn't tear up, then she continued. "We were waking up when you were leaving to be with Shaw Tessa, and we were both too out of it to realize what was going on, but I never forgot the look on her face when you left. There were times when I was worried or scared for you afterwards Tessa, but I always told myself that Emma was there. That you weren't really alone." Raven's voice was tight as she stared at the sidewalk. "And I knew you were a couple, Christy knew it too. It was easy to see in both of you that it wasn't just sex, and you had to talk Emma into doing that in front of me. Nothing could have been clearer. That wasn't my question Tessa. What are you and Emma now?"

"When my cover was blown I called her." Tessa sighed and shifted the bag she had in her own hand. "I had to let her know that what she and I had wasn't part of the mission. I care about her Raven and I needed her to know it hadn't been a lie. She wasn't an active part of the club, but she wasn't completely out of it either." Raven stayed quiet and noticed their destination was getting closer. "She'd just lost her school and wasn't doing very well. I could tell from her voice, but she needed time to deal with what happened and wasn't up to forgiving me yet." Tessa stopped walking again. "She called me later from Genosha and talked like we used to, never mentioning the spying until the end when she asked about you." Raven's eyes widened a little. "No, she was good. I didn't realize she'd seen you. After it happened Raven, we'd talk about you sometimes. She'd wonder out loud like that occasionally and I played along, only when she called me my secret was out." Tessa moved to the door of the place, "I told her I had no idea where you were, but that I wanted to find you." Tessa added quietly.

Raven remembered the conversations Emma had tried to start with her back in Genosha, and could see how Emma was fishing for information then. It was strange how Emma was talking to both of them and not letting on what she knew to either. Raven couldn't tell what to feel about that and she frowned a little as Tessa talked with the host. Had Emma planned to talk Raven into seeing Tessa back then or was Emma just playing her own games?

They were seated immediately in the nearly empty place. When they were left alone with their menus, Tessa spoke in a more conversational tone. "The French fries here are very good."

Raven's question wasn't fully answered just yet, but Raven let the change of subject go, because Tessa couldn't keep their conversation private like Emma. Even with her telepathy she hadn't been that strong and now that it wasn't useable it really wasn't an option. The waiter took their orders and Raven and Tessa talked about shopping until the drinks were delivered.

"Are you with her Tessa?" Raven's eyebrows drew together as she considered that, and the way both women were in their own way telling Raven they wanted her. Part of Raven felt deceived and betrayed, but another part decided to wait and see how bad it was before getting upset. She had no doubts that she would be upset, it was merely a decision of to what level. Tessa was explaining it too much to just be friends with Emma now.

Tessa just stared at Raven for a little too long and Raven watched as Tessa's eyes seemed to study her. "It's complicated. We're feeling our way through it to see if anything is really there." Raven's eyes moved to stare at her drink and her hand moved into a fist with the napkin in it. "Raven?" Tessa pressed when Raven didn't speak.

"I see." Raven muttered quietly.

"I don't think you do." Tessa's voice softened. "What I may or may not feel for Emma has nothing to do with how I feel about you." Raven took a deep breath and looked up, knowing her own eyes were a little cold. "It's not a competition."

Raven's voice held a note of a growl. "Wanting me to talk with her, spend time with her, what are you doing? Do you think if Emma and I finish off this fucked up triangle it will all be great? What if I want nothing to do with her? Tessa, you can't honestly expect me to just agree to this."

"No, I don't expect you to just agree, but I do hope you'll attempt to understand what she means to me. We were together off and on for years Raven, years. I could never be fully honest with her, but there were times I wanted to be. You aren't the only lover I hurt, that mission made me hurt her too, just not as badly, but her ability to trust was so fragile to start with." Tessa sighed and her body seemed to relax just a little. "I can't explain the bonds that hold me to Emma, not if you don't understand, but I wonder if you really don't or you just turn a blind eye to it."

Raven felt her throat and the way it adjusted to add a bit too much volume to her response, something she'd become sensitive to since Genosha and her change and she forced her voice back under control before making a sound. It was probably a good thing since the waiter returned with their lunch while Raven was reining her irritation in. She sat quietly and waited for him to leave, but it gave Raven time to calm down a little more. She was at least calm enough to know she shouldn't talk at that moment and she just harshly pounded on the bottom of the ketchup bottle to get it to give her something for her burger. She wished she'd ordered something she could have stabbed with a fork.

"See the fries are good." Tessa commented when Raven put one in her mouth and Raven felt a tired irritation at how easy it seemed for Tessa to appear so unemotional.

"Yeah." Raven barely responded when she could and started to trail another French fry through the ketchup in a slow circle, drawing in the red sauce. She didn't try to elaborate and Tessa's heavy sigh didn't draw Raven's eyes away from her plate.

"You told me you weren't a flowers and sunshine type of girl Raven."

"And I didn't say I was a lets sleep with everyone type of girl. I didn't think you were."

"It isn't just sex, it's more than that. You know this Raven, you know it." Tessa's voice held a hint of angry passion. "Don't pretend to judge me when you're hardly innocent yourself." Raven glared at yet another insinuation about Raven and Emma. She was getting really tired of those.

"Don't." Raven interrupted Tessa before she could say more. "I thought you and I were…" Her words trailed off in hurt.

"We are growing closer again." Tessa's voice softened. "And I cherish my second chance with you. I do, but I promised to never lie to you Raven and I'm keeping it now. She holds a part of my heart as well, and I can see that you hold a part of hers even if you won't give her any of yours in return."

"I'm just a toy to her." Raven's voice was bitter.

"No, you're more. It started with Christy, but the way she treats you goes beyond her fascination with your double." Tessa's words surprised Raven a bit, she'd never known that Emma had been fascinated with Christy. It didn't really show.

"It doesn't matter. I don't want a part of whatever you think I want." Raven's voice was firm and after she said it her attention returned to her plate.

Lunch was rather tense and if Raven were still flesh and blood it might have made her sick to try and eat at that moment. She hated arguing with Tessa, but she couldn't just say it was okay either. This wasn't a damaged painting or a ruined plan, this wasn't their old arguments. Raven couldn't argue that Tessa shouldn't FEEL something; there was no way to argue someone out of feelings.

……………

Tessa excused herself to go to the bathroom, but left money for the bill before she went. Raven watched the gentle sway of Tessa's hips as the woman walked away, moving down the hall and out of sight. Raven sighed heavily once Tessa was out of sight and leaned back onto the back of the booth seat she was on, looking up as if some divine presence would take this moment to drop down and help her out.

No god came nearby, and the waiter even left a little too quickly for the backroom. In his defense Raven could hear the phone ringing.

Emma and Tessa were together. Raven let that thought wash over her and moved to lean forward again, resting her body wearily against the table and staring at the money Tessa had left for the bill. Raven had considered paying, but Tessa had decided years ago that between the two of them Tessa was the one to hold doors and pay bills. It was a little odd, but that was just Tessa. Raven couldn't really put a label to Tessa's behavior, except caring and polite. She couldn't say Tessa was butch, because between the two of them she was more femme as well. Tessa played all the roles even when roles weren't needed, Raven thought with a bit of irritation at herself, wondering if it was some lack in Raven that lead Tessa to overcompensate and to look for more.

Was it because Raven wasn't a real Mistress that Tessa considered keeping Emma? Was Raven supposed to play the submissive for both women in the little fantasy world Tessa was trying to create? Raven shook her head at that thought, remembering nights she'd shared with Mystique, as Mystique's Dom, remembering Lady Raven and knowing that she could never be that with Tessa. The thought of all the people who had used the dark haired woman made Raven want to protect her, not dominate her. That would make a very lousy Mistress, that urge to not be anything like the others.

If Tessa needed that then Raven couldn't give it to her. Emma could though, and Emma could give Tessa money and apparently make her feel safe. Raven's jaw clenched as she made her mental list of all her deficiencies compared to Emma. Raven loved Tessa, but love had never been enough before, and it wasn't enough now apparently.

But Emma was so manipulative and too controlling, Raven's mind protested the conclusions she was making. Emma was also caring in a strange way and more elegant and womanly than Raven could pretend to be.

A small surge of anger pushed her doubts away and Raven glared at the table since she couldn't glare at herself. "This is pathetic." She muttered, realizing how easy her own self doubt and self pity took over. Raven was just as good as any of them, the women she used to measure herself against and she wasn't going to add Emma to that list. Tessa and Emma could do whatever they wanted, because Raven wasn't going to play, Raven told herself forcefully.

A loud thump drew Raven out of her thoughts and she noticed she was completely alone in the restaurant. Shouldn't Tessa have come back by now? Raven heard another thump and felt apprehensive. She stood up and walked toward the bathrooms, her eyes traveling over the restaurant to double check, but she was alone here. No waiter, no other customers, it only served to make her tenser as she felt the wrongness of it.

Instead of walking right up to the hall, Raven moved to walk closer to the wall approaching it so that if someone were there they wouldn't see her. Raven enhanced her hearing and could hear breathing and a deep voice muttering. "No one betrays me and gets away with it Tessa." Raven's body started to shake as she heard him. "And once you wake up I'll make that point very clear."

No, Raven's mind cried out. Tessa was in his hands and Raven couldn't leave her there. Raven couldn't risk him seeing her just yet, so she carefully moved to try and see rather than rush in, because rushing could get Tessa hurt. No, no, Raven's mind kept repeating. Shaw stood with a few others behind him, holding Tessa up by her neck even though Tessa was limp and unresponsive to his quiet and angry monologue. "I gave you access to everything. You were such a perfect little spy. I even had you trying to find out who the spy was."

Emma. Raven tried once quietly. The blonde telepath was in the area somewhere. Christy would have been able to call her, and Raven needed that ability now. EMMA, Raven tried again, before lowering the shield and shaking with the power around her. EMMA, Raven yelled in her mind. She couldn't risk not calling for help, and Tessa couldn't anymore than Raven normally could. EMMA, PLEASE… OH GOD PLEASE HEAR ME. Raven's mind screamed out as she looked around one last time, ready to give up hope for a cavalry.

Raven? A mental voice sounded confused and worried, and it felt a little like Christy used to. Christy had been the only woman to ever touch Raven's mind.

Shaw has Tessa. Raven told Emma, feeling the concern grow. I don't think I can fight him alone and she's unconscious, Raven told Emma.

Don't hit him, he absorbs kinetic energy and it makes him stronger. You can't hit him with all you have or you'll be hit with worse. Emma told her, suddenly sounding in control and the hint of confusion was gone in her mental voice. Stall, I'm coming.

We're at…

I know, I can see the restaurant in your mind. Just stall, do whatever you have to do so he doesn't leave with her.

Raven stepped out into view of them all with that last thought from Emma, hoping that the telepath was fast and had backup. "What do we have here?" The deep voice wasn't Shaw's but Raven's eyes jerked over to him just as nervously to see another man that looked a little too familiar. "It's the Xman hoover vacuum. Sucks so good." His insult brought back memories of his other comments during that week.

"Leave her alone." Raven moved to stare down the hall and glared at Shaw, noticing how amused he was. He'd known she was in the restaurant as well. It would have been hard to miss. They'd probably been waiting for her to seek out Tessa.

"Well suited to shag on carpets." That other man just kept going. "Tell us Bitch," Raven's hands shook as he spoke and she tried to just ignore him as she watched Shaw, who just stared at her while holding Tessa in front of him. His hold made it clear that a wrong move could lead to a broken neck. He even shook Tessa's body a little to illustrate that. "willing to hoover one of us for her?" Shaw's lips curled into a cold amused smile at his henchman's comment.

"Leave her alone." Raven repeated her command and he looked surprised for just a moment. Raven's fists clenched when he caressed Tessa's cheek and smiled cruelly.

"This is the one you came to see. How did it feel to have your friend?" Shaw clearly could tell Tessa was more than that to her, "use you? Did you beg her to let you go? Or did you eagerly submit?" Shaw's arm moved around Tessa, holding the helpless and unconscious woman in front of him, his hand not around her throat caressing Tessa's stomach, moving her shirt out of his way. "She was a very good lover don't you think? Even as a virgin she had been a quick learner. I taught her so much." He was taunting Raven and Raven's eyes started to burn. "You must know that. You allowed us so much of your own body, given to protect her. All it would have taken was one word, for you to tell us who the spy was. One word from either of you would have ended our games, but I guess I can be grateful neither of you did that. Taking your mouth is something I still remember with fondness."

"You are a sick bastard." Raven glared at him, her body shaking with rage and fear. She jerked just a little when she saw another man move in the corner of her eye. He stopped moving when she turned to look at him.

Emma said don't fight. What did that leave Raven? All these new powers and it left her powerless again. Raven stared at Tessa, looking so helpless, and knew she'd do anything for Tessa.

He has something blocking me, I can't take over anyone yet, but I'm working on it. Emma mentally responded. Stall, I'm coming as fast as I can Raven.

Shaw and his men stared at her and Raven knew she needed to do something. "For her I would do anything." Raven swallowed hard. "Even touch a disgusting man like you, and I did, but you have to be the sickest man in the world. Overcompensating for the fact that normally no woman would sleep with a ugly ape like man like you if you had no money or power. Still with those things you had to force women to feel like a man."

His face reddened a little when one of his men snickered a little. When he gripped Tessa's neck more tightly Raven regretted her words. Her face paled as she watched him slowly loosen his hold and Tessa started breathing again. "The Professor made Tessa a spy. It wasn't something she wanted to do." Raven spoke more softly as she watched him. She could tell the other men were moving, and even though Emma told her not to fight him Raven wasn't going to just surrender either. It wouldn't buy enough time, it would just give Shaw two hostages.

Still if all else failed Raven would, she'd surrender just to stay with Tessa, to lead Emma to them. No one thought she could mentally talk to anyone, and truthfully Raven was a little shocked that she could.

"I bet I've learned a lot more about fighting in the last few years." Raven worded it that way on purpose, using information Tessa had given her about Shaw's weakness for betting. "So call your goons off before I hurt them." Her jaw clenched and she remembered to not let her entire body glow as she said that. Underestimate me you bastard, Raven thought as she glared at the man.

"I believe this slave needs a lesson." Shaw's deep voice spoke to the men around her and Raven's body tensed. "First man to capture her can have her once I'm done with her. I think she'll be a useful tool as I explain to Tessa that she can't get away from me." Raven was dodging to the right before Shaw stopped talking to avoid a lunge at her. Her eyes moved around quickly and she noticed she had three men moving in on her now, their grins lecherous and evil.

"She's like a little vacuum." That one bastard told the others. "A little pain and a few well placed threats and she'll give it all she's got."

Raven's form started to change as she took a step back, away from them. Her breathing was a little fast as the memories hit her, but she focused on a form that couldn't be hurt like that again. Her skin hardened and Peter's familiar metal look took over her own body. Her teeth sharpened into sharp small dagger like teeth, which she bared at the men approaching her in threat. If he thought she was a vacuum before, she was a guillotine now and if anyone tried to force her they'd lose their precious little manhood.

"Whoa." One man stopped advancing on her but the other two just stopped for a moment before continuing to move in. It made Raven more cautious of the two coming at her if they still thought they could win.

Shaw was watching this carefully while putting Tessa down on the ground. It gave Raven hope now that Shaw couldn't kill Tessa in a second. He was going to let her fight for now, because both Raven and Shaw knew all he had to do was threaten Tessa and the fight would be over.

Raven couldn't finish the fight fast. Even if these men weren't a challenge she had to draw it out, because Shaw would be more than Raven could deal with. She needed Emma. Yet again she needed Emma. Raven resisted the urge to call for the woman again, to see how far she was from them now.

Raven's body was steel and hard, but still just as flexible as before. The first man found that out when Raven leaned back out of the way of the punch he sent her way while grabbing his extended arm, pulling him into her fist. He fell to his knees gasping while Raven was pushed back a few feet by the second man's kick.

The second man was the big mouthed one that had mocked Raven while raping her and while others raped her those years ago. He wasn't talking now, he was focusing on hitting and Raven blocked what she could and what she couldn't hurt but not like it should have. He really didn't know what he was fighting and Raven really wanted to show him. She kept telling herself not to take the shots that would end this; that she needed to use this man to buy time.

She stumbled back a bit and then he opened his mouth again. "If I have to use a rock to knock those razor teeth out of your mouth so you can suck me off I will." Raven's fists clenched. "I'll make you beg for me again." His eyes were cold and Raven could see he meant it. It wasn't like she'd doubted him. Raven's fist moved out quicker than she meant to let it and he looked shocked when he was lifted into the air with the punch. Then he looked hurt and Raven smiled a cold cruel smile.

Discipline that she wouldn't have had in a fight with this man if Tessa weren't involved had Raven looking over to see Tessa was still there.

Loud Mouth moved to attack again, claws extended from his nails but they only scratched Raven's steel skin and Raven felt a mild ache for a moment before it was gone. He looked like that wasn't supposed to happen and in his distraction Raven stared into the face of the man and pulled back her own fist, slamming into him. She shouldn't have hit him that hard, Raven thought as he flew through the air and slammed into the drink station, knocking over the refrigerated ice machine tossing ice out in a wide circle. She glared at him, remembering every word, every touch. The anger she felt wasn't eased at all by being able to knock him down. Raven wanted to do more, but his not getting up ruined both her ability to knock him down again and her ability to use him to stall for time. Raven turned to stare at Shaw, a challenge in her eyes.

She glared at the man that had abused Tessa and Raven, the man who was responsible for so much of their pain. Shaw took a step towards Raven, stepping over Tessa to do it. The weakest man, the one that hadn't attacked Raven moved to the side and stood over Tessa's body.

This was possibly the worst idea Raven ever had, Raven thought as she stood up, her eyes moving quickly to inventory the men. The first man she hit was standing and looking a bit sore, but he was still in the game. The loud mouthed jerk she'd rammed into the ice machine wasn't moving. Shaw looked huge as he stood in front of her his arms folded in front of him.

"Leave us." Raven commanded in a tone that would have to irritated Shaw.

"No, I believe Tessa's little slave needs the lesson she should have gotten years ago." Shaw moved his arms back to his sides as he stepped forward. "I should have realized that she was keeping you from me on purpose, but no more. I'll show you what I did to her that night she came to my rooms."

"No you won't." A cold feminine voice entered the room and Raven didn't take her eyes off of Shaw to see Emma coming in. "Hello Sebastian."

"Oh Emma. It has been a while hasn't it?" He sounded phony pleasant. "I see you've decided to ally yourself with the traitor, or were you a traitor as well?"

"No, Tessa always was the smarter one." Emma spoke pleasantly, just as fake, and Raven could hear the woman was moving to the side and closer, but Raven still kept her eyes on Shaw. "She fooled us all."

"And now I'll show her I don't appreciate the deception." Shaw took a step back toward Tessa and Raven took a step forward. She'd fight if she had to, she only had a moment to think that before his arm whipped out, tossing Raven through the air and slamming her into the blonde partially, the lucky part because Raven's head bounced off the upturned ice machine before she fell into the cold wet ice on the ground. "Good day ladies."

"No, the party isn't over yet Shaw." Scott's voice filled the room and Raven turned to see Scott standing in the hall behind Shaw with a crumpled man on the ground next to Tessa. Emma hadn't come alone.

"Well, touché Emma." Shaw turned back to them and Raven was already almost standing, the cold of ice clinging to her hands. "I guess you'll get to keep the girl for now." Shaw's eyes moved to Raven and back to Emma. "But it's only for now. I will have her and she will learn the folly of her ways."

Raven's fists clenched as Shaw pretended to wipe something off of his jacket, pretended to be a gentleman, knowing that he'd hunt Tessa forever, that Tessa would have to always look over her shoulder. Always. It was a life Raven had tasted and she didn't want that for Tessa.

Scott stood over Tessa, keeping Shaw away, but the man looked like he'd just walk away, walk out the front door. What would an Xman do about that, shoot him in the back, that had to be his thoughts. He stepped closer to her and Raven's cold fist clenched harder absorbing the cold water to spare her skin the feel of it, the cold triggering a memory and before she'd even consciously remembered it all Raven stepped forward into his way.

"And you had best plan for a long hard time once I get a hold of you again." He glared down at her and moved to shove her, but Raven grabbed his hand and stared into his eyes.

"You won't bother Tessa again." She told him quickly as she started to focus like she'd seen Bobby learn how to do years ago, only she wasn't using an ice sled. Her hand clenched hard when he tried to pull away as Raven's form shimmered and fluctuated, growing and shrinking a few inches at a time, wings forming and falling to water behind her. She pushed herself to grow and shrink, grow and shrink, the puddle under her spreading with each shift as she held his hand and glared into his eyes. "Nevermore." She whispered as he started to fall, but she still held on as she pulled the water out of his body again to grow, let it go and pulled again. He died, she felt it and the warmth of his life filled her as she dropped his shriveled hand. "Nevermore." Raven whispered as she stared at the nearly mummified remains of Shaw. He looked like Selene's victims. Raven started to breathe faster and faster as she stared at what she'd done. Like Selene's victims.

"Oh my god." Scott's voice barely registered, but the soft hand on her shoulder had Raven turning her horrified eyes to Emma.

"He would have killed her, he would have killed her." Raven's body started to shake and Emma pulled her closer, moving so Raven couldn't see Shaw anymore.

"Scott, see if you can pick Tessa up. I think we need to get out of here."

"I can walk." Tessa's voice was weak, "Just give me a minute."

"Glad to see you are awake Tessa, but we really need to leave. I'm double parked." Emma spoke and Raven's foggy mind caught that. She pulled back and started to turn to see Shaw again. "Don't do that dear. He deserved it, so don't punish yourself by seeing it."

"See what?" Tessa's voice was a little more alert and Raven turned to see Tessa instead, Emma let her turn in that direction. Scott was staring where Raven wasn't allowed and when Tessa turned Raven saw the shocked look on her face. Tessa stared at Shaw a moment and then looked over at Raven, before shaking her head and clearly deciding to not deal with it now. "Let's go."

"Emma."

"Scott, I'm taking these ladies somewhere else. You can get in the car or not, but we are leaving." Emma snapped at him.

In the end Scott decided to meet up with the others. Raven stared out the side window from the passenger seat. Tessa was laying down as the drug worked its way out of her system. Raven had no idea where the car came from, or what Emma did before they left when she went back into the building after getting Raven and Tessa into the car.

"She used to call me little sister." Raven whispered into the quiet car as Emma drove out of Manhattan.

"You are nothing like her." Emma's answer was full of conviction. "She has no remorse for killing good people, and you are horrified by what you did even though he wouldn't have stopped. Not Sebastian, he never backed down. I used to like that about him, but it became a very cold and cruel quality."

"What now?" Raven turned her tearful eyes to Emma, feeling helpless even though she won.

"Now we go to my house, let Tessa rest and perhaps take a nap. It's been a very long day."

"What about," Raven glanced out the back window even though the restaurant was way out of sight now.

"Well, I left a few mental suggestions in the men there. They will tell the police that Stan killed him, and Stan will believe he did it." Emma spoke more gently. "And the one that raped you is going to turn himself in for the murder and other crimes he's done, his sudden conscience won't let him not do it." Raven turned to look at the blonde again, stared at her, before slowly turning to see Tessa sleeping in the back. "She'll be okay. I did manage to pull what drug they used from their mind. All she can do is sleep it off."

"I need a shower." Raven felt infected with evil, from being around those men, from what she did, how she'd pulled parts of him into herself to kill him, his water felt tainted to her now in her mind and she wanted clean water. She wanted to pull clean water into her body to try and wash him away.

"You can even use my shampoo when we get there." Emma said gently and then the silence returned for the rest of the drive. Raven barely blinked as she watched the world go by.

…………………


	40. Hellfire 2 Part 21

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

The water beat down on her. Raven leaned on her arm, using it to help hold her up as she shifted larger to pull the water and then shrunk to squeeze it out. She was treating her body like a sponge, absorbing and wringing herself out until she felt clean.

"Raven." Emma's voice was too close to be outside the bathroom. "It's enough." Emma spoke quietly. "The water is cold and you've been in here long enough." Raven squeezed her body out again, shrinking to her own size and moved the other hand to lean on the wall with both as she stared down at the water leaving the shower. It looked the same as it always had. She couldn't tell if she'd gotten him out. "Dear, you really need to just stop before you freeze over like Robert."

With a heavy sigh Raven turned the water off.

"Tessa is still sleeping it off." Emma spoke as Raven stepped out of the shower. Raven's body formed clothes, but Raven paid little attention to it, even when Emma looked her up and down. "If you need to sleep you could join her."

"I can't sleep now." Raven wrapped her own arms around her body. It was still early in the day and Raven couldn't close her eyes without seeing them, feeling them, her memories were unstoppable.

Emma studied her and then moved to the bathroom door. "Then play chess with me. I have a set in the living room." Raven's eyebrows drew together at that strange request at this time. "At least you I might be able to beat."

"Tessa taught me." Raven spoke quietly and slowly started to follow.

"I know, I was there."

"No, you were there when Tessa taught Christy. Tessa taught me a long time ago."

"Well, then this might be challenging after all." Emma smiled just a little as she moved into her living room and Raven stood waiting for the blonde to set up the game, watching her.

"I didn't think it would work." Raven's arms wrapped tighter to her body. "That you would hear me."

"I always play white Raven, so you'll have to play black." Emma looked up from the set. Raven stared for a moment, seeing similarities between the two women in how they tried to pretend everything was normal. Talking about chess at a time like this seemed insane.

What was a time like this? Raven stared at the chess board and noticed Emma sitting at it. Mechanically Raven moved to sit at the other side.

"Play." Emma ordered her and Raven shook her head a little to wake up from her thoughts and moved a piece on the board. Emma let her stay in silence as she considered her own move, so Raven let her thoughts wander again. She'd killed him, and she'd wanted to do that years ago. He was a bad man, as Christy would tell her. Why was this bothering her so much if she'd planned his murder years ago? She'd purposely gone out to kill him once, so now that she succeeds Raven feels sick.

"Your turn again dear. Please do try to pay attention." Emma's words drew Raven's attention back to the board, where she noticed the move Emma had made. Raven didn't think too hard about her own move and then it was Emma's turn again. It wasn't that she killed him, Raven felt justified in that. She'd killed for less, Raven thought of her rescue of Mystique. No, it was how she killed him. What she was able to do and who it reminded her of. That Shaw was dead was nothing to mourn over. Tessa was safer for what Raven did.

It was the husk of the man left behind and the memories that stirred. Raven had seen Selene feed before, during that night. What Raven left of Shaw's body looked familiar, and it made some of the things Selene said true. "Raven, at least pretend to pay attention. It is your turn again." Emma's voice was slightly irritated and Raven looked up at the blonde. Emma was watching her and Raven could have sworn she saw concern in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Raven muttered and tried a little harder to pay attention to the game, taking a little time considering her own move as if she cared if she won or not. "There." She said quietly after she made a move.

"So you used to play with Tessa." Emma muttered as she studied the board.

"Yeah, but we'd change it a little." Raven smiled just a little as a more pleasant memory hit her. "She'd only get half the pieces to start."

Emma looked up at her, "And with all of that did you ever win?"

"Not once for real. Tessa did pretend occasionally for me." Raven caressed one of her pieces with her finger tip as she watched Emma touch one, and then another piece, before moving it. "She's four years younger. In the beginning my pride was pretty bruised always being second best and trailing behind so much in everything we did. I think I told her I wasn't going to play her anymore, and the next time I won." Raven should have been studying the board, but she looked up into Emma's eyes. "I knew she'd lost on purpose, but she looked so hopeful that I'd fall for it and still spend time with her that I stopped complaining about losing, and every once in a while she'd let me win."

Emma smiled just a little and shook her head. "I've yet to win once."

"Why do you play her then?" Raven asked, but it wasn't the real question in her mind as she watched Emma.

"I'll tell you if you just move something." Emma looked at the board meaningfully. It didn't make sense why Emma was so insistent they play, but Raven took the time to consider her move and then make it. "Tessa is in a league all her own, and that can be a lonely place." Emma spoke quietly and Raven stared at Emma as the blonde studied the board. "I play her for the same reason you do, it isn't about the game. It's about the connection. She's more comfortable doing three or four things at once, more relaxed."

"It's her mutation." Raven added quietly. "She needs the stimulation. It used to drive her crazy sometimes, being locked up in that mansion with me. We had to come up with things to do or learn all the time."

"The club wasn't always crazy like you saw it. There were long periods of boredom between the parties and power games. And there were times when Sebastian just needed us around, but we had nothing to do." Emma looked up at Raven. "So losing at chess was more interesting than anything else." Emma's eyes stared into Raven's. "She'd play chess, keep track of what Sebastian was doing, and who knows what else. Like you said, her mutation means she actually needs that stimulation." Emma glanced down at the board to make Raven start to study it. "Of course I never could really challenge her, but just playing helped keep her from just thinking of things I'm sure you know weren't worth thinking of."

Emma hinted to the bad memories that club had to give Tessa and Raven's jaw clenched at the thought. Emma moved her piece and sat back a little. "Raven," Emma glanced down at Raven's body and Raven's eyebrows drew together at that. "Do you perhaps want to change your clothes?" Raven glanced down to see what Emma was talking about. Raven's body tensed as she saw the corset, the panties. Her eyes trailed to her arms and finally noticed the cuffs that matched what she saw on her ankles.

She shifted into leather pants and a halter, but Raven's face was paler when she looked up at Emma again. "You put those on after your shower and I wasn't going to bring it to your attention until you were doing a little better." Emma explained and Raven stared down at the board not seeing it. She couldn't believe she'd done that. "Seeing Sebastian had to be hard for you. I find it trying myself and I've never been abused as thoroughly as you have." Raven looked up at that honest comment from Emma and wondered if Emma might actually tell her about how Shaw treated Emma, but she didn't. "It's your turn Raven." Emma told her when Raven didn't start to move.

………………..

The game went to Emma, but Raven had challenged her for it. Used to losing, it didn't really bother Raven to lose this one. She hadn't really been thinking about the game too much anyhow.

Tessa came out as Emma was putting the pieces away and Raven watched how the woman moved slowly, tiredly into the room. Dark bruises covered her neck and Raven looked away when she saw them, feeling like she'd failed to protect Tessa. Some of the bruising was because she'd pissed Shaw off and he'd taken it out on Tessa.

"Well, I see we're back to the beginning." Emma muttered a little too loudly. "I'll go order dinner and you can ignore Tessa for a few minutes alone."

"I'm not." Raven raised her head and glared at Emma for saying that. Things had been rather comfortable between Emma and Raven for the game but now it looked like Emma's gentleness was gone. As Emma turned and walked into the kitchen, presumably to use the phone. Raven turned her eyes to Tessa and spoke more gently. "I'm not ignoring you." Tessa stepped fully into the room and came closer. Raven resisted the urge to back up for some reason and stood her ground.

"Raven," Tessa spoke quietly and reached out a hand to move hair out of Raven's face. Raven's own eyes fell to the bruises, clear finger shaped bruises on Tessa's beautiful skin. "I didn't anticipate him. I'm sorry." Tessa's words had Raven looking up into her eyes. "I was distracted and didn't see it in time."

Raven didn't bring up why Tessa might have been distracted, but she felt bad that she was so often up to the task of distracting Tessa to the point Tessa got hurt. "No one should always have to be on guard." Raven spoke slowly, meaning it in several ways. One of which was an explanation for what Tessa would undoubtedly want to talk about.

Tessa moved to sit on the couch, so Raven slowly sat down herself. "I assume that you found a new way to get the water you use to build mass to your body." Tessa spoke in a detached way, unemotional. Raven wasn't sure it was better than disgust or disappointment.

"Desperate times." Raven's answer wasn't very in depth. She glanced towards the kitchen when she heard Emma starting to talk to a restaurant, Chinese from the sound of it. "I couldn't let him hunt you like that. He said he'd just get you later once it was clear he couldn't take you then." Raven told her and Tessa curled up on the couch more, getting more comfortable.

"What happened? I missed a lot. I remember walking out of the bathroom and seeing him a fraction of a second before losing consciousness. When I came to I was on the ground and Scott was standing over me. You'd killed Sebastian, and three other men were littering the ground."

Raven told Tessa about getting suspicious while waiting for her. She hesitantly mentioned how she called for help and how she fought but she gave no details. Didn't talk about the comments and promises those men made to her, didn't mention that she'd been faced with some of her own rapists and had to fight for Tessa and herself. At some point during the conversation Emma came back and just leaned against the wall listening to Raven retell it.

"And when Sebastian tried to leave you stopped him?" Tessa asked when Raven slowed in her talking. Tessa glanced at Emma and directed the question to her when Raven didn't talk. "What happened?"

"Sebastian was preening and promising to continue another day when Raven moved into his way. He tried to push her away but she latched onto him and started growing and shrinking so fast it was a blur." Emma turned her eyes to Raven as she spoke to Tessa. "He shriveled up and died. I can't say it was pretty, but it was certainly understandable. You didn't hear their comments Tessa, but I saw some of them from the link I made with Raven when she opened up to me. She did incredibly well in not killing anyone before that point. They gave her more than enough reason to."

"Link?" Raven's eyes widened as she stared at the blonde, wondering just what she'd gotten into when she tore her walls down to scream for help.

Emma gave Raven a small smile. "I try not to walk into situations without knowing what is going on. With his telepath blocking them you were my only source of information, until Scott knocked that little man out.

"You aren't still…"

"No, you pushed me back out right before you attacked Sebastian and you haven't let me in since." Emma's words helped Raven relax and calm down. She still couldn't believe she'd let someone in, and that someone had to be Emma. Could she have let Tessa in if Tessa's telepathy still worked? Or was it like with Christy and only Emma would do? That didn't seem right that Emma's powers alone could do that. Raven glanced at Tessa and wished the woman could try, just to see what Tessa felt like inside Raven's mind. Raven was pretty sure Tessa would feel amazing, perhaps too fast and too orderly for Raven's mind, but the tenderness that Tessa had would translate to that mental touch wouldn't it? Emma's concern and caring had, Raven remembered that and frowned as she considered it.

"How did you know you could do that?" Tessa asked Raven. Raven wasn't sure what Tessa was asking about for a moment, thinking it was calling Emma, but she was pretty sure it was still killing Shaw that was the topic with Tessa.

"I didn't." Raven glanced over at Emma, who had unknowing planted the seed. "but I pull water out of the air like Bobby, I just use it differently. I figured if I could do that then maybe I could focus on what to pull the water from like he learned how to do." Raven shuddered a little at the memory of what she did with that knowledge. "Yours weren't the only training sessions I sat in on Tessa." Raven added. "It wasn't like I had any of my own." Raven's chuckle was soft and more disgusted than amused. "No one thought I had real powers."

…………………

Dinner was strange. Raven sat around Emma's kitchen table with Emma and Tessa the day Raven murdered Shaw and all they talked about during dinner was plays on Broadway, the art at the museum, and lesson plans for the students once fall classes started. The closest they came to talking about what happened was when Emma mentioned she'd need to return the car she'd mentally encouraged someone to lend her. The normalcy was appreciated, and Raven knew it wasn't that things were being ignored, but it still felt strange.

Night was starting to fall and there was still no talk about going back to the mansion. Raven moved to sit near the window and stared up at the sky, watching the sunset in the distance. She could hear Tessa and Emma talking in the living room while they played a game of chess. Raven looked over at them and couldn't help but smile a little at the wink Emma sent her way as Tessa contemplated her next move. That ended quickly because Tessa never took long to move. The fact that she had thought about it was rare enough.

As it grew a little darker outside Raven turned her attention to Emma and Tessa. Tessa was looking better, but the bruise was still there and would most likely be there a while. It was the cost Tessa paid for her beautiful pale skin, bruising too easily.

The sounds of Bach filled the room and Raven's eyebrows drew together as she looked around for a source, but Emma found it first by pulling a cell phone out of her purse. "Excuse me." Emma said to the room as she glanced at who it was from. "Yes." Raven stood up as Emma walked away from the chess game. "No, I think a break was just what they both needed." Emma spoke and Raven turned to look towards the blonde who was walking into the kitchen for semi privacy. Raven's hearing improved to cancel that. "Of course she did. If she hadn't I would have." Raven didn't risk making her hearing strong enough to hear the other end of the conversation because it would make everything closer to her way too loud. As it was Raven could hear Tessa breathing softly and tapping distractedly on a chess piece with her nail. "I don't know, why don't you tell me? I'm sure you have all the answers." Emma sounded irritated. "Before you talk about framing an innocent man, would you like me to tell you how many times he's raped Raven?" Raven's jaw clenched as she moved to sit back down to stare unseeing at the neighbor taking his garbage can to the curb. "I thought you'd see it my way." Emma responded to something. "They'll be staying the night with me. All your little xmen are safe and sound."

"Raven." A much louder voice so nearby made Raven cringe and bring her hearing back down to normal. "You were eavesdropping?" Tessa moved to gracefully sit on the edge of the chair Raven was in. Raven looked up at her, and couldn't help her eyes going to the bruises. Tessa moved the collar of her shirt a little to cover some of it up, almost seeming self conscious about it. "I could cover it up. I have some of the makeup I used to use." Raven pulled her eyes to Tessa's eyes. "I can see it bothers you."

"Covering it up doesn't make it go away." Raven sighed heavily and felt Tessa's hand pulling her closer. Instead of fighting it Raven moved forward and rested her head on Tessa's side, while Tessa caressed her hair.

"Emma wants us to stay the night." Tessa told her and Raven just let out a deep breath.

"I know. Eavesdropping."

"Are you okay with that?" Tessa asked her and the hand in Raven's hair moved to caress Raven's head again. "She has a guest room, but someone is going to have to double up." Of course, Raven thought wearily, of course they'd have to double up. It would have been too easy otherwise. No, there had to be an element of awkwardness or it wouldn't be complete.

"I could go home." Raven spoke quietly. "Call a cab."

"And face the hoard of concerned xmen wanting all the details before you can get to your room?" Tessa pointed out the flaw in Raven's plan. She didn't want to talk about it just yet, to explain herself or to explain how she managed to kill Shaw yet again. "If it's the sharing of a bed, I could sleep on the couch if it would make you more comfortable." Tessa offered and once she had Raven had no chance of picking the couch for herself. If she tried Tessa would fight her, but Tessa was sore from the beating her body had taken. The couch had just become a non-option. So either Raven would share a bed with Tessa while Emma slept alone and most likely was bitter about it, or Raven slept alone while wondering all night exactly what Tessa and Emma were doing in that other bed.

…………….

The chess game resumed when Emma came back into the room and Raven slowly moved to the couch to watch. Tessa still made quick decisive moves and Emma studied the board even more than she had with Raven. It seemed the opposite of the women in real life. In real life it was Tessa that studied and thought first, moving slowly, while it was Emma that moved decisively with little thought. Raven watched as Emma lost yet another piece and could see the blonde was soon to lose the battle.

It never even occurred to Raven to turn on the television and watch that instead of the other women. She watched Emma as the blonde lost yet another piece. Emma grimaced just a bit seeing Tessa was set up to Check. A woman like Emma, it didn't seem to make sense she'd agree to anything where she knew she'd lose, but she did that for Tessa. Raven looked down at the pieces and decided to give Emma a hand and remind Tessa of the other part of some games.

"Spy." Raven called out and moved closer to the board, reaching out for one of Tessa's pieces, moving it to one of her own pieces. "Check."

Tessa looked up with a small smile on her face. "Your spy is revealed."

"The game called for it." Raven responded and glanced back down at the board, looking for a way for Emma to win. It was still going to be a challenge.

"Spy?" Emma asked and Raven moved to sit down, this time on the chair closer to the board.

"It is a move only Raven is allowed to play." Tessa looked right into Emma's eyes and Raven watched the two stare. "She has a spy in all games she can call out at any time."

"Good move." Emma smiled just a little at her and Raven nodded, before watching the pieces again. It was Tessa's turn, since Raven took Emma's, but Raven had saved Emma from a Check on her own piece. The spy was taken out in the next move, it was a required move to the spy being revealed and the second allowance Tessa let Raven have when they played spy Chess. Still, after today Raven didn't like that the rule was to have to take out the spy before any other pieces after it was revealed. It was the move Shaw tried to make.

Emma looked slightly confused by the illogical move Tessa made, not knowing about that part of the game. Emma moved to take another piece, lining herself up for a Check Mate that Tessa was sure to block.

After another round of play Raven moved a little closer, debating about the other character she could call. Emma looked over at Raven as Raven came closer to study the board. Raven sat down at the table, watching as Emma took the only real move available to her, but it signaled the end of the game, unless Raven called her second handicap player. Tessa slowly caressed the top of one piece and smirked, showing she knew what Raven was about to do. Tessa slowly picked it up and moved toward another square.

"Coward." Raven spoke and looked into Tessa's eyes with a smile as Tessa was forced to put the piece back where it came from. "You can beat her now Emma." Raven told the blonde while looking down at the coward piece.

"It's my turn?" Emma asked.

"Yes, her piece was a coward and couldn't move." Raven turned to look at the chuckling Emma, who took the opening given her.

"I don't know that this counts as a win, but Check Mate." Emma said as she toppled a piece. Even with those pieces in their younger days, Raven had never really beat Tessa, not really. This might have been the first time that Tessa really lost.

"Are there any other strange pieces on the board?" Emma asked.

"The clumsy oaf, which falls two squares away from the intended target." Tessa replied evenly and Raven blushed at having revealed their childish method of leveling the game. "She lost the right to him betting against me once during a training session I had."

"Then there were the lovers, that couldn't move more than two squares apart." Raven said while toying with a piece. "But they didn't work and I had to give them up." Raven blushed when Emma stared at her too long. "We had way too much spare time." Raven defended the strangeness of her and Tessa's games. "And there was nothing really good on TV during our slow time, we were on the opposite schedule of the others and they got the good TV time off."

"Are you still complaining about that?" Tessa shook her head. "I taped your favorite shows."

"It was the principle of it." Raven sighed and felt a bit more awkward talking like this in front of Emma, revealing these little things no one but Tessa knew. "It doesn't matter." Raven muttered before she started an old and unimportant gripe she used to have almost weekly during their training. To a twenty one year old deprived so many freedoms it had been a constant irritation, but to the Raven of today after having lost other freedoms, it seemed silly now.

"Anyone for a night cap?" Emma asked and then closed the case that held the pieces she'd been putting away. "Raven?"

"Still just juice." Raven sighed, wishing for something stronger yet again.

"Tessa," Emma stood up to get them something. It didn't seem all that strange to Raven, but Tessa took a bit too long to answer. Long enough for Raven to realize that and look up as Tessa stared at Emma.

"I'd like a glass of red wine." Tessa finally answered and Emma nodded and left to get it. Raven watched as Tessa watched Emma leave the room. Something happened, but Raven didn't feel she could ask what.

Emma came back with their glasses and Raven tensely sat and drank, knowing that it was getting late and that any minute now someone would suggest going to bed. The options kept running through her mind because Raven knew Tessa was going to ask her to chose where she slept and Raven had to have an answer.

"Well," Raven swallowed when she heard that tone in Emma's voice, the rest of the sentence easy to anticipate. "After the day we've had I think it isn't too much to turn in now."

"Raven?" Tessa's voice was soft, gentle, and it just made this all that much harder. Raven's fist clenched just a bit out of sight as she looked up.

"Where is the guest room?" Raven asked, unable to look Tessa in the eyes as she did it.

"Down the hall across from the bathroom." Tessa told her and just had to add. "Raven?"

"I guess I'll see you in the morning." Raven stood up and didn't look back as she started to walk toward the hall.

Raven's hearing amplified without thought as she heard Emma speak quietly. "Well, that was unexpected."

"No, I expected it." Tessa sounded a little hurt. Raven just sighed and walked into the guest room, while shifting her clothes into pajamas. She got into the bed, a bed with soft sheets and blankets that would feel like heaven any other night, but Raven just stared into the darkness of the room, painfully aware of the choice she'd just made.

Raven knew it was wrong, and doing it to Tessa felt more wrong than doing it to Emma, which was merely survival, but Raven enhanced her hearing to the point she could hear the house settling, the neighbors dog barking, and Tessa's voice. "Not tonight. Raven is uncomfortable enough as it is. She doesn't need to wake up to get a glass of water and hear us."

Emma sighed, "She's the one that pushed you into my bed."

Tessa's voice was soft. "I don't need to be pushed to be with you."

"I can be so very quiet." Emma's words reminded Raven how eerily quiet Emma was during sex.

"No, not like that. You know I'd rather hear you." The following sound made Raven blush as she recognized it as a kiss. "And I'm actually pretty sore. It feels like Sebastian took the opportunity to kick me when I was down."

"Well, when did he ever resist the urge to do that?" Emma sounded bitter and angry.

"Not very often." Tessa admitted and Raven felt a surge of satisfaction at having killed him. Raven rolled over and reduced her hearing, in an attempt to sleep, but her mind kept going back to the fact that Tessa was with Emma and Raven had really wanted Tessa to be with her.

………………

Raven's body was wrapped up in the sheets, making it impossible to free herself, her unconscious body squirmed and struggled making the sheets tighter and making her move more frantically to escape as they did that. Her breathing was a ragged pained gasping.

"Don't scream." A commanding voice ordered her and Raven struggled to wake up. When a hand moved to her face, Raven's eyes flew opened and stared with terror in her eyes at the blonde holding a hand over Raven's mouth. "Don't scream. I can't explain my house getting tossed into another dimension to the neighbors."

"What." Raven's voice was gasping and her body shaking. The dream, which was just a more nightmarish one than normal still lingered in her mind. Real monsters haunted her.

"You were thrashing around and when I went to get water I could hear you." Emma told her and moved to sit on the bed. "You were starting to get vocal, so I had to stop you."

Raven tried to pull back, feeling unbalanced and shaky, but Emma didn't let her go. Tears started to stream down Raven's face, and she pulled back a little harder, forcing Emma to let her go. Raven turned away, not wanting Emma to see her tears. "I'm okay. You can leave now." Raven could hear the tears in her voice and hated that she couldn't pretend to be strong just a little longer. While Emma hadn't seen anything and couldn't now, Raven remembered to shift her pajamas back on. They always disappeared.

"And let you sleep again? You might still scream in your sleep and then my insurance rates go up." Emma's words didn't match her tone, which was concerned and caring. Raven turned to stare into Emma's eyes, well aware that her own tear streaked face was clearly visible, since the blonde had turned on the light on her way into the room. "You had a tough day." Emma spoke softly. "If you want I'll wake up Tessa, but you aren't sleeping alone. It isn't safe with your mutation to risk this tonight." Raven just sighed heavily in response. "Raven," Emma's voice almost reached conversation level volume. "In all this, don't forget you won. Many people that went against Sebastian didn't survive it, but it was him that didn't survive you."

"Yeah." Raven's voice was flat as she started to untangle herself from the sheets.

"If you fall asleep again, will you have more nightmares?" Emma asked and Raven just sighed, knowing she would. "If you lower that shield of yours again I could stop them." Raven stopped tugging on the sheets and looked up at Emma with shock and distrust. "Oh Please, as if I have nothing better to do than pick through your mind for interesting tidbits."

"I'm not letting you back in."

"Raven, think about this. There were two telepaths, strong telepaths in the area when you needed help. You didn't call for Jean, did you even try to? Did it even cross your mind?" Emma's question sent Raven's mind into circles of confusion. It hadn't even occurred to her to try for Jean.

"Christy said that only you could get past the shields."

"And you believed her. She was in love with an Emma, who else would she let in? I am powerful, but I'm not the most powerful telepath on the planet. Not even the second most powerful." Emma shook her head and smiled just a little. "It's cute that she thinks her lover is the only one that could get inside her mind. It's romantic, a romantic notion, to have an exclusive connection, but it's unrealistic. That's not how telepathy works. Not even with amazingly powerful mental shields."

"They're linked." Raven spoke slowly. "Christy and her Emma are mentally linked like Jean and Scott. Christy can feel her Emma's fear or pain from far away, further than you can project." Raven wanted to defend Christy's love, her romantic notions, even if it was with a double of this woman in front of her. Emma looked a little stunned with the revelation. "Still think she's imagining her unique connection, that's it's just romantic notions?" Raven's voice was a tad harsher.

"Still wanting to protect her I see." Emma offered after a moment of silence. Raven had seen the stunned look on Emma earlier, but it was covered up now. "You do know that links like that are very rare. I've only heard of Jean having one."

"I know."

"That kind of intimacy isn't done lightly, it isn't even consciously controlled."

"They didn't know it had happened right away." Raven finished untangling herself and flattened the bed sheets for something to do, feeling awkward about having brought this up. Nothing got to Raven faster than saying something about people she loved. It was her protective nature that got her into this awkward conversation, that and Raven's own respect of romance. She was just as bad a romantic as Christy was.

"Raven, do you refuse to let me in because you don't trust me, or because you are afraid that you and I have that potential that Christy and her lover did?" Emma asked and Raven's eyes moved immediately off the bed and to Emma's eyes. "Are you pushing me away because you are afraid that it was destiny for them, that some of that destiny exists here? Are you really that much of a romantic to believe something like that?" Emma shook her head, "You are aren't you? Your relationship with Tessa and how you pined for her for so very long all show a highly romantic tendency. You believe in that whole idea that there is one perfect love out there. Are you afraid your perfect love isn't Tessa?" Raven just gaped at Emma, too stunned by the sheer absurdity coming out of Emma's mouth to protest. "I mean, Christy had a mental link with an Emma. That is so rare. And you can open your mind to me, but can you open it to Tessa? You can't even try, because her telepathy is shut down right now. You can't prove to yourself that I'm not your one."

"Do you ever shut up? Did you get hit on the head during the fight, because you're talking insanity."

Emma waved a hand toward Raven, "And there are those walls again. You can't even talk about it can you? You hide behind your anger so easily, but let me ask you this. Do you love Tessa?"

Raven swallowed hard and looked away. "Go away, I need to try and get some sleep."

"I already know the answer to this, so just say it." Emma's voice was commanding.

"Yes. I've always loved her." Raven's eyes got watery and her jaw clenched.

"Okay, so we have some progress. A semblance of a real conversation." Emma's words were still harsh. "So if you love her so much why is she in my bed right now? It hurt her for you to not want her in yours."

Raven's knees came up so that she could hug them to her chest as she considered if she could answer the question. "Love isn't always enough." She couldn't believe she was talking with Emma about this. "It's never been enough."

"Why not?"

"She has you." Raven glared at the blonde.

"You gave her to me tonight." Emma pointed it out and Raven's eyes fell back to the bed.

"Go to bed Emma. I don't know what you want, but you aren't getting it here."

"You do know what I want." A hand moved to touch Raven's covered knee. "You know very well what I want, and what Tessa wants. You just choose to pretend ignorance and to pretend that it doesn't appeal to you."

Raven's hands clenched the sheets as she stared at the blonde's hand on her knee. Raven could feel the heat from Emma's hand through the sheet and Emma did it so casually, but there was a challenge in it. Raven looked up into Emma's eyes and prepared herself to tell Emma to move the hand before she did it for her, but Emma just caressed Raven's knee and started talking. "You can't sleep alone." Emma's voice was softer. "So do you want me to wake Tessa, who has had a rather trying day and needs her sleep, do you want me to stay, or do you want to join us?"

"I'm fine here." Raven glared at Emma, even though it was a lie. Raven was just going to not sleep.

"Don't be ridiculous. If you were going to be fine I wouldn't be in here now. You almost screamed."

"Leave me alone."

Emma's slowly moving hand on Raven's knees stopped moving and the blonde stared into Raven's eyes. "You don't want to be alone do you? Not really."

"I don't want to be with you." Raven stared into those blue eyes as she said it and the brief moment of hurt in those eyes surprised her. "Just go to bed Emma."

Emma's voice was colder, harsher, and Raven realized it was because she'd hurt the woman's feelings. "And how am I supposed to relax and sleep knowing that a single scream from you could bring the roof down on our heads, and that's if we are lucky and it doesn't toss us into some other dimension?"

"I won't scream." Raven said between gritted teeth.

"You were two seconds away from doing it just a few minutes ago." Emma waved toward the door. "If I hadn't been up this room at least would be gone."

"I won't sleep." Raven spoke coldly to the blonde, preferring that solution to sleeping with Emma.

"Oh, that's a lovely plan dear, stay awake until you pass out from exhaustion. Why didn't I think of that one?" Emma's voice was thick with sarcasm. Raven glared at her with an angry blush on her face, not sure what to say but wanting her anger conveyed. "Raven, you can't just not sleep."

"If you're so worried about your house, call me a cab. I can go back to the mansion."

"If you thought you could do that you would have already." Emma sighed. "After all, it would have gotten you away from me." Raven calmed as she heard something in Emma's voice. "I'm surprised that when you learned you could kill with a touch you didn't reach out for me, since you act like you hate me so much."

"I don't hate you." Raven was stunned to hear herself saying it rather than just thinking it. Her body seemed to sag as she looked into Emma's eyes. "I don't." Raven sighed and looked away, at the walls of the bedroom. "I wouldn't," Raven stopped talking and shook her head in frustration. "Just go to bed Emma."

"Raven," Emma's hand returned to Raven's knee. "I want to tear down the mine field between us, I've been trying, but even if this makes you angry I can't leave you alone to sleep tonight." The argument in her voice was gone and Raven couldn't find the irritation in her own body to snap back at her. Honestly, she wouldn't have left herself alone tonight if she were someone else, knowing what a single scream could do.

Raven leaned back against the headboard with a heavy sigh. "I don't," Raven stumbled over the words and her voice cracked a little. "I don't want to serve."

"Raven after today can you honestly think anyone could make you?" Emma said after a moment of silent tension. "I wouldn't, dammit." Emma's jaw clenched and Raven watched the blonde, amazed at how much more readable she was in the middle of the night. "I'll get Tessa."

Raven was shocked by her own urgent need to not let Emma walk away just yet. Her hand moved out to grab the blonde's before Emma stood up. "You came for us today." Raven's eyes felt watery as she stared into blue eyes. "Thank you."

"Technically it was yesterday." Emma was tense, but Raven watched the woman relax, whether it was real or not she couldn't tell. "And you trusted me enough to call me." Raven slowly let the blonde's hand go as Emma moved to sit a little further back, not leaving.

"I knew, I always knew, you'd protect Tessa." Raven stared down at the bed. "It," her words felt stuck in her throat, but she forced herself to finish it, "was something I've had to count on for years, that you could watch out for her." Her eyes looked up at Emma. "But she means a lot to me, and if anyone hurts her," Raven didn't finish the threat.

"What about you? You finish that sentence, that thought, and you'll hurt her." Emma spoke a little faster. "If you walk away and just give her to me you'll hurt her."

"She's a person, not a possession. Not a slave to be given away." Raven's voice rose.

"So you weren't just about to tell me to treat her right? You weren't hinting that she's mine, that you wouldn't have her?" Emma's voice was cold. "Because I can tell you it sounded like you were saying that."

Raven looked away from Emma, her pain and guilt making it hard to look into Emma's face. "I can't be what she wants."

"She wants you, whatever you can be, that's what she wants."

Raven sat up straighter, the sheets falling to her lap. "No, she wants what we had in that place, only I don't have Christy anymore and I don't think I can do that." Raven's hands clutched at the sheets in her lap and she stared at them. "She needs her Mistress and I can't replace, I can't be… I can't top her. The thought of doing that to her feels wrong, but you don't seem to have any problem with that." Raven didn't even notice that her body was rocking back and forth a little. Tessa's comments earlier made it clear that she was still Emma's slave at times and wanted it that way. "She needs you, you're all she's had all this time. It's my own damned fault, I should have figured the Professor out sooner and I should have looked for her sooner. And I should have dragged her out of that place instead of walking away when she told me no."

"And I should have seen how much she hurt when Christy was hurt and I should have done something more about it than I did. I should have insisted that when I left after my Hellions died she came with me." Emma sounded angry. "But the difference between you and I Raven, the real difference, is that while I made mistakes I don't let them dictate my future. And for the record, making Tessa do anything she doesn't want to takes a lot more than you had at the time. If I had to bet, I'd say you couldn't do it now."

Emma mentioning the Hellions made Raven's heart ache with guilt. "We've been forced to do too much already. I could never force her to do anything." Raven shook her head and hugged her knees to her. "But I can't be okay with this. The three of us."

"It's me that's holding you back, but it doesn't have to be that way. You could be with Tessa if you wanted. You could deal with the fact you can't dominate her, you might even work through that, but if not Tessa has me for that." Emma crossed her arms in front of her and let the silence fill the room as Raven considered what Emma was saying, that they could just share Tessa. Could she though? "And we don't always do that. There isn't always a Mistress in our bed, there had always been times it was just making love." Raven blushed a little at the comment, knowing it and hearing it were different. Still even in Raven's relationship with Mystique they didn't always do things that way either. Of course Mystique only found power plays intriguing, not satisfying in their own way. Mystique wasn't like Raven in that, but she was caring enough to give Raven what she wanted sometimes.

"But Raven, you're attracted to me. I'm familiar enough with people being attracted to know you are even without telepathy." Emma said it all so matter of fact. "Would it really be so bad to submit to that attraction?"

The calm thought that had been in Raven's mind as she considered something she'd never have thought she'd considered turned into a raging storm at the words Emma said, the way she said it, and the word submit. "I don't want to be part of this fucked up triangle."

"You didn't deny an attraction." Emma pointed it out and Raven blushed and looked away, angry at herself more than Emma. "You must be tired, you forgot to lie to me."

"I don't." Raven started.

"No, you lie to me all the time, and I don't lie to you." Emma spoke sternly. "You lie about how you feel Raven, even to yourself don't you?" Emma shook her head. "I know you're confused, but the lying is getting tiring. I've told you what I want. I've been very upfront with my intentions."

"You never told me you were with Tessa." Raven took a little too long coming up with that come back.

"You never asked me when you wanted an answer. And Tessa wanted to be the one to deal with that conversation. She thinks I'm too blunt and not sensitive enough." Emma studied her own finger nails. "Personally I think she was afraid to tell you because she knew you'd just bow out and walk away. She didn't want to lose you."

Raven went quiet at that. She didn't have a response. The quiet dragged on, until Emma moved to crawl up the bed on the other side. "Good night." Emma said and Raven's stared in shock as the blonde just crawled under the covers and pulled the blankets up. "I'm rather tired. I had an eventful day too you know."

"You can't sleep here."

"Now you have to pick a bed, but neither is empty." Emma smirked and rolled over. The way Emma dismissed Raven's existence in the bed felt familiar. Raven stared at Emma's back as her tired mind tried to decide what to do now. She didn't want to wrestle the blonde out of the bed, it didn't seem to warrant a physical attack and that would undoubtedly wake Tessa up. "Just turn off the light and go to sleep. I promise I'll be good, and if you ever wake up and realize what you could have I'll be very very good."

Raven hesitantly reached out for the light, pulling her arm back from it once, before actually turning it off. Her eyes were wide open as she laid down in the bed, feeling completely lost and outmaneuvered. Raven decided to blame it on lack of sleep. She wouldn't have normally just laid back down otherwise.

Tessa was in that other bed, Raven thought as she stared over at the door, still debating about leaving one bed for the other. Feeling foolish and not wanting Emma to comment Raven stayed still a little longer before trying very hard to slip out of the bed quietly. She was almost to the door when Emma spoke. "It's the door at the end of the hall." Raven froze for a moment, before opening the bedroom door and slipping out.

………………

Emma's bed was huge, Raven thought as she stared at it from the doorway. The light from the hall illuminated it and it was easily the size of the one Emma had in the club. What was that, a King? Bigger? Raven sighed as she realized she was stalling.

Raven's eyes enhanced to see a little better in the dark as she closed the door behind her, knowing Tessa would most likely wake up but not wanting to wake her up too much. Raven had enough late night talk with Emma and wasn't up to another serious talk with Tessa.

"Raven?" Tessa's groggy voice sounded confused for a moment as Raven slipped into the bed.

"Just go to sleep Tessa. You've had a rough day." Raven whispered as she moved to take Emma's space. She could smell the blonde on the pillow as she set her head down.

"What are you doing?"

"Emma said I can't sleep alone." Raven pulled the sheets up and stared off into the darkness, but her enhanced vision faded as she didn't need it anymore. "I was having nightmares and she's afraid I'll scream." Raven felt a wave of nervousness that with that fear out there she'd come to Tessa. "I won't. I'd never do anything that could hurt you like that."

"Raven, would it help if I held you?" Tessa said it so softly and Raven felt torn, not wanting to need Tessa like that but unable to say it wouldn't help. In her silence Raven felt the bed shift and then an arm wrapped around her. "It's okay Raven, I'll hold you." Raven slowly moved her hand to rest over Tessa. It took her a little while to relax, but she felt safer being held. It felt like there was something she was forgetting, but Raven fell asleep eventually in spite of the nagging thought that didn't surface.

………………

Raven's arms were wrapped around the body partially sleeping on her chest as Raven started to wake up. Raven's eyes opened wide when she felt a hand on her naked skin, Raven's face blushing furiously as she cursed herself for forgetting that she never stayed dressed at night. How could she forget something like that? Raven's body tensed as she felt Tessa caressing her. "Raven?" Tessa sounded fully awake.

"I'm sorry." Raven stammered out and shifted pajamas back on, muffling the caress and the feel of Tessa against her. "My clothes, I can't keep them on when I'm sleeping yet."

"Oh," Tessa sounded a little disappointed. "I thought maybe." Raven's heart ached at the longing in Tessa's voice as Tessa started to use her arms to push herself off of Raven as if it wasn't welcome for her to be there. Raven stared into Tessa's eyes and moved a hand to cup her cheek.

"I love you. I always have and I always will." Raven's voice cracked. "But this is," Her words trailed off.

"I love you too," Tessa's reply was soft. "Raven, I do love you."

Raven closed her eyes as frustrated and confused tears leaked past her lids. A soft kiss at her temple interrupted the flow of tears, and Tessa's lips and tongue soothed her as they kept the tears from rolling across Raven's cheek and into her ear. The kissed became licks and so softly done they almost tickled. Raven's breathing came a little faster and her tears stopped flowing.

Raven's mouth opened and a whimper escaped her lips, lips that were soon covered by Tessa's. Arching her back Raven pressed her body up, noting that Tessa was moving to hover over her. "Please." Raven gasped when Tessa's leg fell between Raven's. Oh Tessa was so close, Raven needed her closer.

"Raven, are you sure?" Tessa had to asked. Raven's jaw clenched and her head fell back to the pillow as one answer rang through her mind. No, she wasn't sure. She wasn't sure she could do this and walk away, that she wanted to walk away, or that she had what it took to stay. Raven wasn't sure. Raven's body started to shake and the touches and hug that Tessa gave her was comforting rather than arousing. "It's okay honey. It's okay."

"I love you." Raven muttered into Tessa's shoulder, more mournfully than those words were ever meant to be uttered. "Maybe," Raven's next sentence stalled and the ache in her chest expanded to take in her lungs. "Maybe I need space." She finally finished it. Hearing Tessa's soft gasp of pain didn't help. "Just for a little while, until this doesn't hurt so much."

Tessa moved to kneel, but she was kneeling above Raven, looking down. Raven could see the watery eyes. "What hurts so much?" Tessa asked.

Raven looked away and her jaw clenched as she fought for control. "I can't tell you not to want her, but I don't know how to deal with it."

"Raven."

"I know," Raven's voice cracked. "I know it isn't just you, but I don't know how to deal with it." She admitted it so quietly. Raven pushed gently at Tessa a little until the dark haired woman moved off of her so that Raven could get out of the bed. "That club was another world and what we had in that room, the three of us, it wasn't just me. I can't be that. I can't do that."

"I'm not asking you to." Tessa looked almost pleading the way she kneeled on the bed, and she looked like a slave to Raven in that position. "I wouldn't ask you to."

"You never ask for anything." There was a hint of accusation in Raven's voice born of her and Christy's frustrations with Tessa all those years ago.

Tessa just stared at her and Raven hated the mask that started to hide the other woman's pain. "Emma works at the mansion. I could go and give you some space, but she can't and she wouldn't."

"No, I'll go." Raven wrapped her arms around her body. "Just for a while."

"Will I ever see you again?" Tessa asked and Raven looked up to see the fear in Tessa's eyes. "Are you running from me now?"

"No, just for a while. I'll give you a phone number." Raven's body shifted to dress herself for the day in jeans and a tshirt. "I'm just going home to try and get my head on straight again." She'd been considering it for a while and with this new twist in their lives Raven needed it more than ever.

"Home isn't Seattle is it?" Tessa moved to the side of the bed and got off of it.

"No, it isn't." Raven's body seemed to want to move to Tessa, to be closer, but Raven resisted it for now. "Karen's been telling me I need a therapist." Raven was starting to wonder if that was true, but she couldn't trust just anyone with the role. There was only one person alive that Raven could trust like that. "I have someone I can talk to. She's helped me before."

"Where?"

"Vegas." Raven said after hesitating and considering if she should tell Tessa, but Tessa would give her space and not knowing would really make Tessa worry. "I have friends in Vegas that said I was always welcome to come home."

"The brothel?"

"Not just there." Raven didn't volunteer more. Words didn't do Lady Heather or Drahke justice. "But yes, I have friends at the Brothel. People that care about me."

"You know I wouldn't judge you for that." Tessa moved a little closer and Raven let the hug occur. "I'm glad you have friends you feel you can count on, but the xmen want to be that too."

"But they can't help me with this." Raven let herself lean into the hug. No, the Xmen were too involved to be able to help with this. Karen was too opinionated on the topic, too protective. No one at the mansion understood, maybe Logan could, but Raven needed more than Logan could give her.

"Emma is going to try and talk you out of this."

"She wouldn't want me if she knew what I did." Raven pulled back from the hug and stared at the bed while in thought. Maybe it was time to tell Emma, right before Raven left. It was a cowardly move, but survival might very well demand it. Raven was feeling more and more uncomfortable with lying to Emma about this. Not telling about something like this was just as bad as lying in Raven's mind. "I need to tell her."

"I knew you would." Tessa spoke softly, a hint of approval in her voice.

"Don't tell her where I'm going. I don't need another angry telepath chasing me." Raven smiled weakly to cover up her anxiety.

"She forgave me, it took a little time but she did." Tessa pointed out.

"But you weren't involved in her students' deaths." Raven took a shaky breath. "At least she can't kill me."

After Tessa finished getting dressed Tessa went out and started making breakfast, claiming that it wasn't more than self preservation because Emma couldn't cook. Once Emma joined them breakfast was kind of quiet. Raven was too preoccupied with the upcoming conversation, but Tessa talked with Emma about other things. It was a skill, pretending like that, one Raven knew she had to some degree, but didn't want to use today.

As Tessa put the dishes in the dishwasher after they all at she turned to look at Raven for a moment, before turning to Emma. "I was hoping I could borrow the computer for a little while. I have a few things I want to check on."

"You have your little…" Emma started to talk and waved toward the red glasses on the table before going quiet. Emma stared at Tessa a moment. "Of course, the password hasn't changed."

"Thank you." Emma watched Tessa walk away and Raven felt almost sick, but there was no putting it off now. "So, you wanted to talk with me alone?" Emma said and turned to Raven expectantly.

"Yeah." Raven noticed her voice was shaky and took a deep breath to try and calm down. She could see Emma was paying even more attention to her then. "I need to talk about Christy and the Hellfire club with you." It all started with Christy's knowledge of the future, and maybe when Emma really thought about the decision Raven and Christy made, maybe eventually she'd forgive Raven. Emma actually looked surprised for just a moment, before the blonde moved to stand up.

"Well, let's do this talk on the couch. It looks like it might take a while."

Raven didn't know where to sit in the living room, near Emma or out of range of a swift punch. Not that sitting further would save her, but it would give Raven some warning time. With a heavy sigh Raven moved to take the chair across from the space on the couch Emma took. Raven sat and leaned forward to rest her arms on her legs and stare down at her hands. Emma didn't say anything and Raven didn't look up, not just yet. "Christy was older than me by quite a few years." Raven started, remembering her doubt, the feel of her in her mind, the comfort and love. "She came from another world, a future world. Not exactly like ours, none of her doubles were Xmen that she'd seen." Raven swallowed hard and forced her eyes up to Emma's. "It wasn't our future, but some things were the same. One thing was the same. Her Emma had been in the Hellfire club, but left it. She told you that."

"Yes, she did." Emma was watching Raven's nervous slight movements with curiousity.

"Why did you leave the club?" Raven asked and could see the shadow of pain on Emma's face.

"My students died because of Hellfire club politics and games. They killed in an attempt Selene made to take control and the people I'd worked with there either died, were part of it, or in the case of Tessa and Sebastian were targets that managed to survive. I re-evaluated what was important to me after that, and it wasn't the Hellfire club." Emma sighed and looked apologetic for just a moment. "I'd been uncomfortable there ever since you'd been there, it was the last straw."

"Oh." Raven swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Emma, I want you to know I'm sorry about your students. I am." Raven put it in now, when Emma might still hear her, but Emma sat up straighter catching up with her. Raven watched blue eyes widen and then grow cold as Emma started to see where Raven was going. "Christy knew that Selene was going to do that, it was what made her own Emma leave the club on her world. She wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you."

"What did you do?" Emma stood up suddenly and Raven flinched back. "They were children and you used them for your revenge? Did you hate me so much you'd actually help that witch murder my children?"

"I didn't." Raven's voice rose a little too much and her body shook with the effort to control the power. Raven saw the hand coming her way and closed her eyes tensing her body and waiting for it to hit her.

The impact didn't come and Raven slowly, cautiously opened her eyes to see a red faced Emma standing close and that hand was just inches from her face, stopped there. Emma stopped herself, but it looked like it could be a temporary reprieve. Raven looked up into the blonde's eyes, her own pleading for understanding.

"I want to kill you right now." Emma's voice was cold. "It would be in your best interest to leave before I try it."

"I had a reason for not telling you, it wasn't just to make you suffer." Raven's voice cracked, horrified to see hatred in Emma's eyes. She'd never seen that there before. "I couldn't save them. Death was better than what would have happened. Destiny told me the other potential future and it was bad Emma."

"Get out!" Emma took a step back and Raven stood up, but she didn't run.

Taking a deep breath, Raven's voice lost the pleading high tone and she stared into Emma's eyes. "Emma," Her sentence ended there. She wasn't sure she could tell Emma what would have happened if the Hellions had lived at that moment. It would just hurt the blonde more to know it. "Take care of Tessa for me."

"I take care of Tessa for me." Emma said and Raven just nodded before moving around the coffee table. Tessa had to hear what was going on. There really wasn't a good way to say goodbye when one was being kicked out of the house.

Raven had to walk a mile to get to a small store with a phone. She called a cab and while she waited she called the airport. In less than two hours Raven was getting out of the cab with the bag she'd picked up in her room and walking inside.

Long distance required a lot of change Raven thought as she feed the phone. "Hello." A familiar voice spoke and Raven felt a tight clenching in her chest ease.

"Heather, can I come home?"

"Raven?" Heather sounded a little surprised, but as normal that quickly turned to her normal voice. "I have a guest room just waiting for you."

"I don't know how long I'll stay, but I don't have to run anymore." Raven leaned against the wall as she waited. She really was imposing on Heather and it wasn't like Heather had even been a lover. She was a friend, and something more, but it defied description.

"We can talk when you get here. I'd love to know how you managed that, but I have some people here to ask a few questions. When will you get here?"

"I'm in New York and my flight leaves in an hour. I should be at your place in twelve hours." It felt good to be able to just tell Heather things now, to not have to hide things. Raven looked forward to talking to Drahke as well, telling Drahke her real name and what she used to be; things that as a lover Drahke should have been told years ago.

"That's coming in late. I'll pick you up." Raven gave Heather her flight information and felt a warmth and welcome that she knew she could count on, because Vegas was home. Heather would never have turned her away, and that was also comforting.


	41. Hellfire 2 Part 22

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

Raven only had the one bag as she stood on the sidewalk in Vegas, waiting for Heather. She was a little surprised that her flight was a little early. With all the flights Raven had taken that had only happened twice.

A car pulled up and once again Raven looked inside it, this time to actually see her friend looking at her. Heather had a serious look on her face as she opened the door and stepped out. "Raven, is that all your luggage?" It sounded doubtful.

"Yeah." Raven picked it up and moved to the car. "Thanks for coming."

"Things haven't been very calm around here lately." Heather said and it hinted to a lot more story. Raven opened the passenger side door and tossed her bag in before getting in herself. "There was a murder at my club and the detectives have been asking a lot of questions." Heather spoke as she started to drive.

"Is Rachel okay?" Raven asked quickly.

"Yes," Heather gave Raven a small smile, before it faded. "It was one of my newer employees. She offered to switch for the wrong man. The detectives feel they have enough to prosecute him, but things are a little tense at work now and there is a chance that the detectives will be back and may ask about you if you are there." Heather glanced at Raven. "Do you still want to come to my place or should I drop you off with Drahke or Lois?"

Raven hadn't considered staying with the other women. It was Heather she needed right now. "No, I should be fine." Emma had told her that Selene had been quiet a long time and probably got herself into trouble. That was the only monster still out there with enough power to be a problem, and if Raven wasn't using a real name and could change her fingerprints she should be fine. "Um, Heather." Raven felt a bit awkward and didn't want to go into details more than once, but, "I mutated a bit more. I became a shapeshifter and I can't scream or even talk loudly without creating a portal to other worlds."

"Really? I'm sure that has a story behind it." Heather wasn't even a mutant and she took it so calmly. "Oh, don't worry. I'll let you sleep tonight. We can talk tomorrow."

"Are you okay?" Raven asked, not able to see a hint that what was happening at Heather's club bothered her, but knowing it did. Heather cared a lot about her people and her friends. Other people might not see it, but to Raven Heather seemed a little off.

Heather's smile was brief. "I'm fine. Thank you." Raven could feel the power and confidence that Heather exuded as if it were a living thing. "And you aren't. There are too many shadows in your eyes Raven. Why did you come here now?"

"I need you." Raven sighed heavily and turned to look out the side window as Heather drove. "A lot has happened and you said you could help me get in touch with my inner Mistress and I think I really need her. My life is my own now, and I don't know what to do with it or how to do it anymore." Heather just nodded, as if she expected that answer and Raven felt her sense of hope that she'd learn to make sense of her life increase just knowing that Heather would help her.

…………………….

Mornings were a little later in Heather's home. The late nights were a normal thing and with how little sleep Raven had the night before at Emma's she had no trouble sleeping even later than Heather. Her sleep was troubled, but Raven was a little better off than the night before.

In pajamas just for the comfort of them, Raven walked toward the noise in the kitchen. Heather was standing at the stove and Raven could smell breakfast in the air. "Good morning." Heather smiled a little at her. "Breakfast will be ready in just a few."

"Thank you." Raven nibbled on her bottom lip a moment. "I shipped more paintings to you before I left there."

"You've got more than enough for a showing now Raven. If you don't have to run anymore, perhaps you should consider it."

"Yeah maybe." Raven sighed and moved to sit at the table, not really considering a show just yet. She was going to do one when she felt a little more secure, but not now. Even without a big name some of her work would sell, and Raven might need the money. "How's Zoe?" It worked in making Heather smile.

"She's started college. I miss having her around, but she's doing very well."

"Good." Raven thought of her own boy, the one she hadn't talked to since she walked away. Maybe she could call him, actually hear from him. Years of hiding had managed to make Raven overly cautious about doing it before she was sure it was okay. "I left Terrance at a college."

"I know, you wrote me about it." Heather turned to do something on the stove and then moved to sit by Raven at the table. "Drahke might want to know you're in town. Did you want me to call her over?"

"Later?" Raven didn't want Drahke to drop everything and run for her again. The woman most likely had her own life now and Raven wanted to see her, but she could wait. "I'm not planning to leave right away. Is that okay?" Raven had to ask again. "I can work around here or see if Lois still wants to hire me to pay my way."

"I could use a little help around the club. Nothing you can't handle." Heather seemed thoughtful. "You said you want to find your inner Mistress, but Raven is it just your inner one or do you want to more? Are you wanting to explore your Dominant side more?"

Raven blushed and glanced away for a moment as she considered that. It really couldn't hurt to know more, it might be hard, but it was time to learn how to explore her sexuality a bit more in depth from someone that would explain it and teach Raven to do it right. Raven had muddled through on pieces of memories and instinct with Mystique, but that wouldn't be enough for some others that were actually as into the power plays as Raven.

"I will push your limits Raven, I will take you to the edge of your endurance and make you walk along it before pushing you past it. If you came to me to learn this, you will learn it well. For you it will be harder at times." Raven's heart was beating faster at Lady Heather's words. The woman hadn't needed an answer. "We can make a Mistress of you, but Raven a true Mistress needs to know herself first, and a true Mistress is not unfamiliar with the submissive's role. How much do you want this Raven?" Lady Heather sat so straight, looking commanding in even daily wear clothes.

"I need this." Raven spoke slowly. "I feel half formed sometimes, like I'm almost there but it's always out of reach. I know I wasn't a good Mistress to my last lover, but she didn't need that. It was my kink and pretty much mine alone with her."

"But things have changed." Lady Heather stared at Raven. "You need to change with them." Raven looked down as she heard someone else say it. "What's changed?"

"It's a long story." Raven sighed, knowing that for anything to make sense to Heather, Raven would need to tell her everything. "A very long story."

"Well, then we should probably have breakfast first." Heather stood up and moved back to the stove.

Once breakfast was done Raven started from the beginning. She sat in Heather's living room and told the woman about her mother kicking her out. Raven talked about her time training with Tessa, and that time after Tessa had gone. Tearfully Raven talked about finding herself trapped in her own body and being forced to submit. Heather didn't pace, she didn't go pale, she didn't do any of the things other people had done, but she still felt comforting.

It was lunch and they ate quietly, talking about Zoe and Terrance as a break, but then the serious talking continued. Heather had small chores to do around the house and Raven helped her while Raven talked about living on the run and she slowly and painfully admitted to her suicide attempt. Heather's eyes had flashed with some anger at that moment, but again Heather just listened. Raven felt like her soul was ripped bare as she talked, sharing her emotions and pain. Raven laid her soul out for Heather to help her fix. Raven talked about her relationship with Drahke and with Mystique. She just touched on her relationship with Tessa and her strange relationship with Emma, but Raven's own confusion about that kept that part of the conversation brief for now. She talked about Genosha and Ellie. She talked about Destiny and Christy. Raven haltingly and painfully even talked about Selene and Shaw. Raven talked all day long, until it was time for dinner.

At that point Raven could barely make herself talk at all, and Heather carried the polite and gentle talk for the meal, telling stories of her own times over the past few years, none of which were as painful as Raven's own. Raven did her best to respond, but eventually Heather just sighed and spoke softly. "Raven, once you're done eating you could soak in the hot tub for a little while and go to bed."

"Isn't it work time?" Raven glanced out at the sky. It wasn't dark yet, but it was summer. It was still late enough for the 'bad boys' to be there.

"I'm short on Mistress' with the murder. I can shift them around to give you a little time." It sounded good. "And we can talk some more tomorrow." Heather reached out and caressed Raven's cheek before grabbing her chin and holding Raven's head still, looking into her eyes. "You can't just spill pain all at once like this and not feel it. Healing takes time Raven, and you're trying to do it too fast. It took over a decade to get you to this point. A decade of betrayals, pain, and loneliness." Raven's eyes watered. "I'm not a licensed therapist."

"I trust you." Raven's voice cracked. It was tired and sore from overuse. There might have been a way to make her mutation deal with that, but Raven didn't bother with it. "You understand me and I feel safe with you."

"Well then, Raven you need to relax and then you need to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day." It sounded like a promise and a command.

………………..

A few days later Raven stood in the middle of the basement with a pad of paper in her hand and a pen tapping at her lip as she stared at the sheer number of paintings along the wall. Heather had purchased a wall unit to help stack the paintings, but it was still taking up a good deal of space. Raven glanced over to the other wall and the door in it. That was where a new venture of Heather's was. She'd rented that space to another business and if Raven weren't taking up this space perhaps Heather could make another office down here.

Maybe that comment about a showing wasn't just to get Raven's art career moving. Maybe any more art would cause space problems. Raven glanced at the shipment that had arrived that day, the one that inspired this inventory effort. With a sigh Raven moved to the upper rightmost painting and looked at it, remembering when it was created. She took in the style and started her inventory, dividing her art by style on the sheet of paper.

"Raven." Heather's voice traveled down the stairs even though the woman didn't. "I have a request of you. My new class has an uneven number of students." Raven's jaw dropped just a little, before she took control of her shock and moved to be able to see the woman at the top of the stairs. "And there is one woman I believe could use a partner."

"I thought you'd," Raven started to talk, but slowly trailed off.

"Raven," Heather started down the stairs, her high heeled boots clicking with every step. "We need to start from the beginning, and I think you'd benefit more from a stranger at this point. This week is just lecture and some show and tell with the tools of the trade."

"I don't know." Raven hesitated.

"She's coming early for lunch and to chat before the class. Join us and if you want to you can offer to be her partner, otherwise I'll see if Rachel can walk her through this." Heather reached the bottom stair. "It's up to you, but I feel this woman is trustworthy."

"And if I can't hide my mutation?"

"Well, we'll need to see how open minded she is, but is that really the problem Raven?" Heather had this way of staring that made Raven feel like she was exposed. "You can always quit, but is that what you want to be? Someone that quits?"

"I'll be right up." Raven didn't bother to reply to the slight taunt. It was a Mistress thing, Raven suspected, because while it wasn't as heavy handed as Emma's comments, it felt familiar.

"Dress the part." Heather spoke just a moment before Raven shifted into her leather pants and halter. "That is handy." Heather smiled just a little. "But it lacks that leather smell, and I like the smell of leather."

"I'll have to work on that." Raven started to follow Heather up the stairs. "These classes, I want to know both roles."

"Of course my little switch. You'd just need to find a partner willing to trade off." Heather sounded like she was teasing. "The good thing about this woman is that she has no partner, she's very opened to the lifestyle, was opened to a woman as a partner for the class and doesn't seem like the type to abuse her power."

"You like her?" Raven asked, starting to feel a little better with the positive review the woman was getting.

"Catherine was one of the criminalists that investigated the murder here. She spent hours going over the pool house looking for clues, wandering the club and she never once had that look in her eyes that said what we do is deviant or wrong, she was intrigued and interesting." Heather glanced back at Raven. "Then she called after the killer was found and asked about what we do. I'm not charging her for the lessons."

Raven's eyes flittered around, looking at Heather carefully and wondering at another question. She didn't ask.

They'd just barely gotten to the kitchen when the buzzer signaled someone at the club door. "Raven, could you finish setting the table while I greet our guest?"

"No problem." Raven felt a bit nervous, but really, the woman didn't even know Raven was interviewing her in a way to decide if she could trust her enough to try this. It was in a classroom environment, it didn't require a lot of trust, but Raven needed to feel somewhat safe with the woman.

The woman's voice seemed pleasant enough as it traveled down the hall. Raven finished setting the table and was working on dishing up the plates. "Raven, I'd like you to meet our latest student, Catherine" Lady Heather spoke as the two entered the room. Catherine was a honey blonde, just a little taller than Raven, but that still kept her on the short side, and she wasn't dressed for a BDSM club.

"Did you make this?" Catherine took a deep breath, clearly impressed with the meal. The blonde smiled at her and Raven started to relax at the friendly behavior, feeling a little hopeful that this just might work. There was something welcoming about the woman.

"No, I'm a lousy cook." Raven smiled and shook her head. "Lady Heather does all the cooking." With clients around Raven always remembered to use the woman's Mistress title, showing her respect.

"Well it smells delicious." Catherine appeared comfortable, far more comfortable than Raven had been the first time she'd stepped into this place, or the second time, or fifth time.

Lunch was interesting. Raven found herself studying the blonde as unobtrusively as possible, looking for hints of compassion, which she found, hints of strength, which were in abundance. She could see the woman as a Mistress, but she wasn't so sure about Catherine being able to switch so Raven could explore her own dominant side.

Heather really could have been a telepath, Raven thought as Heather turned to Catherine and brought up Raven's concerns. "As part of training, all Dominants need to experience the submissive's role. It helps to make a Mistress understand her submissive better and to know what certain things feel like. One who hasn't tasted the whip or felt the chains will have little insight into their submissive's needs."

"Well," Catherine appeared to think for a little while and Raven found herself wondering if that was the deal breaker for the blonde. It would be a shame because Raven had almost talked herself into doing this. "That makes sense, but my partner would need to be pretty trustworthy for that. I'm a little concerned that pairing up will be taken as meaning something, or that I'll get someone a little too interested in the whip if you know what I mean." Catherine's concerns were the same as Raven's and it was the last piece Raven needed to make up her mind.

"I," Raven noticed Catherine turned to her and it made her blush, feeling a bit awkward even though this was the right place for this. "I need a partner, but I'm a switch."

"A switch." Catherine tilted her head just a little, and gave a small encouraging smile. "That's both submissive and dominant?"

"Yeah, I want to learn both." Raven's nervousness started to fade and her voice was a little more confident.

"Well, we can take turns. I think I'd be hard pressed to find a better partner for this." Catherine's smile was slightly wicked, but still somehow not too flirtatious. Raven had the impression that Catherine flirted often and meant nothing by it. In fact she reminded Raven of the prostitutes she used to work with a little, it was the little things, like the subtle flirting that was almost always going on and the apparent awareness of her own body. She would be a perfect Mistress with a little training. Hopefully Raven would be able to pull off the same herself.

"Thanks." Raven turned to stare Heather in the eye and nod just a little. It was a little too early to tell, but it looked like the Mistress had once again been right.

……………….

Raven caught Catherine's eyes as the stepped into the room and then looked over at the seats in the back of the room. The largest room at the club had chairs set up facing the front, which was a table with several familiar looking things and a calm and collected Lady Rachel, the coteacher for this class. Lady Heather was talking with a couple in the corner before class and Raven resisted the urge to go to either of the teachers, the only people she knew.

Raven took in the people in the room, glancing around at what must be about ten couples, her and Catherine included, but the other couples seemed more comfortable together. "We're the only made couple." Raven muttered quietly to Catherine. "And that tall man with the dark hair is a little too interested in us."

"Lesbian fantasies I'd guess." Catherine spoke quietly back. "Or he would never let a woman dominate him, but is attracted to a dominant woman."

"I think he'll drop out the second he hears he has to play a sub for a little while." Raven's eyes moved to his partner. "Poor girl."

"I wonder how many of these people take the domination out of the bedroom?" Catherine leaned closer. "Do you think I should cut your meat for you at lunch and lay out your clothes for the morning?" Raven quickly turned away from the other students to stare at Catherine, relaxing when she notices the teasing smile.

"Very funny. I think you'd look good in a leather mask with a zipper mouth." Raven teased back and then sat back in her chair as Lady Heather moved to the front of the room. The other students all sat more attentively and the few standing moved to sit. Raven's Art History class never started so smoothly. Perhaps Raven should have gone into that classroom in Dominatrix gear and offered to spank the tardy students. Raven grinned a little at her own thoughts, but hid it as Lady Heather looked at her and tilted her head a little, in her what are you thinking way.

"Hello class. I've met most of you, but for those that I haven't, I'm Lady Heather." Lady Heather turned to Rachel, "And this is Lady Rachel. We'll be teaching this class as a team effort, but there will be times that we split the class up to talk with submissives and dominants separately." Lady Heather had that whole stern schoolteacher thing going, and if it weren't for her Mistress clothes it might seem that was all she was. "We will meet once a week for two hours each time until the middle of December. Our class will cover the basics. Clothing, bondage, whips, chains, tying knots and what not to do when you do it, the role of pain, the basics of creating a dungeon of your own, but do know that we rent out space here for private play and it is far better stocked than most home dungeons could ever be." Raven felt a surreal quality to the college class atmosphere not matching the words she was hearing. It was actually comforting, even with the daunting list of topics they'd cover. "we'll touch on role play, and we will constantly be stressing the importance of communication. This is Domination 101, welcome to the class." Lady Heather smiled just a little.

"Are you just waiting for the syllabus to be handed out and to hear how grading is done?" Catherine leaned closer and whispered in Raven's ear.

"Keep talking during class and she'll discipline you." Raven smirked a little and didn't turn to see how Catherine took that comment. Raven wondered briefly if Catherine would ever want that as much as Raven would.

With a hint of a blush Raven looked down over at the front table and wondered if she should talk more in class herself, but she couldn't bring herself to make Heather have to punish her, and most likely it wouldn't be anything interesting anyhow.

"For those that complete this class we offer a variety of seminars on topics we touch on in class, for those that want more detail. Those are held Thursday afternoons." The introduction continued. "I know that this class has a mix of the experienced and those new to this." Lady Heather actually looked at Raven when she said experienced. When the woman looked away Raven noticed her partner was looking at Raven with a question in her eyes.

"I've done some." Raven whispered, not wanting to get into details just yet.

"Next class we will talk about clothing and then you'll all be expected to get some of your own." Lady Heather had moved around to stand behind Raven. "Stand up Raven." She spoke slowly and Raven stood up. "Raven should be the tamest dressed one here. She could almost go out to the mall in this. After our talk about clothes, you'll be getting a makeover Raven." Lady Heather continued to move away, but Raven didn't sit just yet. "You may sit Raven." Lady Heather finally told her and Raven sat back down. "I do want to make one more thing clear. It shouldn't be necessary to say it, but the submissives in this room are not public property and any dominant that fails to respect that will be banned from the club for life. No one touches anyone else's submissive without permission from both Master or Mistress and slave." Lady Heather's voice was stern and commanding. It got quieter, but no less demanding. "I will enforce this myself." The teacher shared a glance with Raven and Raven felt the protection Heather was offering. This would be a safe place, Heather was promising her that.

"Do you think she's had problems before?" Catherine asked, her voice sounded a bit apprehensive.

"No, I have." Raven turned to look at Catherine and when Catherine's expression changed to understanding Raven looked away before it became compassion or pity.

………………..

"Raven." A familiar voice spoke and Raven turned from her nearly completed inventory of the art to see her ex standing on the stairway. Drahke took a few more steps down the stairs. "How have you been?"

"I've joined the class Heather teaches." Raven made a face, as if she wondered why she'd done something that insane. Catherine had left a few hours ago after promising to show up a little early for class next time so they could talk, since they were partners and the only two partners that didn't know each other.

"Really?" Drahke looked a little surprised. A moment of silence that showed she didn't know what to say about that filled the room before Drahke came up with something. "That means you'll be staying at least three months." Drahke spoke softly.

"Yeah," Raven took a deep breath and looked into Drahke's eyes. "My name is Christine Taylor, but I go by Raven. I always thought you should have known. It always felt wrong that you didn't."

"You aren't running anymore, are you?" Drahke didn't comment on the name, even though Raven had wanted to tell Drahke so many times before.

"No, not anymore." Raven smiled just a little at the joy and relief on Drahke's face. Drahke hugged Raven so tightly, showing her concern in the iron grip she had on Raven.

"Why didn't you call me?" Drahke pulled back and asked, sounding a little put out by that. "I came to have dinner with Heather and she told me you were here."

"I was afraid you'd drag another lover away from a nice vacation to see me, and I'm staying a while this time." Raven smiled just a little, remembering poor Alexandra.

"I don't have a lot of vacation time anymore." Drahke motioned for the stairs and Raven set her inventory list down before following the woman up. "The X-Ranch keeps me busy." Drahke's voice sounded cold and it worried Raven.

"Drahke?"

"I'd like you to come see it now." Still Drahke sounded upset, hiding it poorly. "It's just what I'd envisioned." Raven stopped them in the hall, in spite of smelling dinner and stared into Drahke's eyes.

"What is it?" Raven demanded and Drahke didn't seem surprised by it.

"The company that backed me called today and told me that the CEO didn't know about it and when he found out he wasn't happy. Now they want to back out. I can't afford to buy them out. This could ruin me." Drahke told her and Raven could feel the helplessness coming off of Drahke. Raven sighed and looked away a moment.

"How much?" Raven asked, afraid to hear the answer. When Drahke told her Raven grimaced.

"I don't even own half. If anyone buys it out I'll lose control. They'd been content to let me run it, and now I know why." Drahke shook her head and Raven felt ill.

"Ah jeez." Raven hurt for Drahke, and her mind returned to the inventory she'd been doing just minutes earlier. "Did they at least offer to give you time to try and raise the money?"

"Not much. They gave me some, but I don't have the connections to pull this off." Drahke spoke but slowed down as she was saying it as she stared at Raven. "Why?"

"It just seems pretty lousy." Raven sighed and started toward the dining room again, but her mind was moving fast on someone else's problem.

Dinner was strange, that was all Raven could think of. She was suddenly aware that both of the other women had problems in their lives, and it wasn't something either would have told her before was it? It made it clear that things had changed and she wasn't seen as the fragile one anymore, but it also made Raven want to solve the problems. To help the people that helped keep Raven sane back when she barely was and made her feel cared for.

Heather was clearly working a bit too hard and Raven would need to step up and do more around the club. Raven thought of that as she listened to Heather talking with Drahke about the murder and briefly about the investigator that was now Raven's partner. That turned into Drahke smirking at Raven. "A cop? You paired up with a cop?"

"Actually she's a crime scene investigator." Heather corrected Drahke before Raven could.

"She's nice." Raven added, but really she didn't know much about Catherine. Drahke raised an eyebrow. "It's just a class. Heather would have told me if I was expected to actually DO anything with her." Raven trusted Heather to not trick her into something, to warn her. Heather gave Raven a small smile at the trust and Raven smiled back.

"I'm still surprised you agreed to the class." Drahke's teasing tone was completely gone. Raven could see why Drahke seemed concerned. The evenings making love and the struggles Raven had gone through with this back then probably made this seem strange.

"I'm hoping that my next lover will understand this part of me." Raven said quietly, moving some gravy around on her plate and watching the fork as she did it.

"I need to get some work done." Heather spoke and Raven knew the woman probably did have work, but she was also giving Raven the place for privacy. "I'll see you later Drahke. I'm sure you'll be visiting more now." Heather smirked just a little and glanced at Raven, before leaving taking her plate to the kitchen on her way out the door.

"Thanks for dinner." Raven called after the woman.

"Why are you free to stay now?" Drahke asked quietly and Raven knew it wasn't a short answer.

"Let's clean up and then we can talk." Raven stalled a little, but with Heather cooking Raven did the dishes. It was a whole four days of this routine, but it was one Raven planned to keep. She'd find other ways to help out around the place as well, because she wasn't paying for anything.

As Raven rinsed the dishes and put them in the dish washer her mind went over what to tell Drahke; the truth of course, but not as much as she told Heather because that would take all night. In the end Raven started by explaining that she had been an Xman, and about the club and the Professor's betrayal. She talked about how two of the three monsters she ran from were either dead or captured and the third was missing. The worst of all three was still out there, but Raven was told by her precog dead friend that she didn't have to run anymore. It sounded ridiculous as Raven said it and Drahke occasionally had an expression of disbelief on her face as she heard it.

As they talked Raven moved closer to Drahke and was leaning against her listening to her heart beat. Drahke's hand caressed her back. "An Xman." Drahke spoke quietly.

"More like Xman reserve. I didn't get out much." Raven noticed the touches changing. "Drahke."

"You know that isn't my real name either." Drahke spoke quietly.

"I wrote your paychecks. I know your names Melissa." Raven had been privileged to know all the prostitutes real names when she worked there, she never used them, but she knew them.

"Never call me that." There was just a little bit of command in her voice, but it was enough to remind Raven that Drahke used to be Lady Drahke here. Raven had never met Lady Drahke, it was something her ex kept hidden from her because Raven had problems with it back then. Drahke's voice softened and she asked a familiar question. "Are you with anyone right now?"

You'd think that was an easy question, Raven thought to herself and sighed. Her sigh stopped Drahke's wandering petting hand. "I don't know. I have someone, but I just don't know." Raven sighed again and cuddled closer to Drahke. "I needed some time to think about it, so I came home." The petting resumed slowly. "You?"

"Nothing too serious. I'm seeing a married woman once in a while." Drahke spoke and Raven went quiet. "Her husband is a gay politician and needed a beard." Still, there was no future there. Thinking of the only three women Raven had heard of with Drahke, this one included, Raven came to a realization about her ex. Her ex didn't want long term relationships, either by design or subconsciously, she picked unavailable women.

It was too late to bring up that fact at the moment. Raven glanced at the clock and knew that Drahke would be leaving for work soon. Drahke continued to pet her and Raven continued to cuddle, even though she was confused and knew better than to get involved with this ex until she'd figured our her relationship with her other ex. Drahke, ever perceptive about Raven's needs, seemed to realize that because the petting wasn't as sexual as it had been.

Once Drahke had left, Raven shifted into clothes a bit more appropriate for walking through the club and went to find Heather in her office. The sounds of whips and the few screams were becoming normal to her again. Raven nodded briefly to Lady Rachel as she passed her in the hall.

Lady Heather's door was opened and Raven moved to stand in the doorway, watching the Mistress work on the computer for a moment. "She needs help." Raven spoke quietly.

"Yes, she does." Heather didn't offer anything else, just waited for Raven to talk. A lot of their conversations went that way lately, Raven considered it counselor mode.

"It's more money than she could ever get." Raven sighed and moved to lean on the wall, her arms crossed in front of her. "And only three months to get it."

"It could have been worse." Lady Heather stopped looking at her computer and stared at Raven.

"I have a lot of art downstairs." Raven swallowed and looked down. "It's taking up all your space anyway. Maybe I need to find out what I need to do to sell it."

"She won't take your money." Heather stared at Raven and smiled just a little, "but she would take you on as a partner in the business."

"I don't know that I could make enough to pay this off." Raven didn't balk at the idea of being a part owner of a brothel, after all if Irene could do it Raven could. Raven's mind wandered just a little and wondered if Lois had been an ex of Irene's, if they were following a similar path into this business.

"You are underestimating your value again Raven. You've got some great pieces of art down there. I'd suggest more than one showing so that you don't saturate one area, it might bring the prices down. I have connections in LA, I could help you. Do you have any connections at all in New York? That's another artist city."

"I might." Raven sighed and thought about the woman most likely to have connections in New York. Emma wasn't likely to help her. Maybe Ororo knew some of Peter's old connections. He'd had a showing or two. "And I might know someone in Toronto that could help." Raven had left Toronto with a few friends she'd wanted to keep in touch with. Two got letters from her once in a while, but she hadn't talked with them since she left. It was a familiar routine.

Three shows, Raven might need to do a few more pieces, but then she could have enough for three. Some pieces would be very hard to part with and Ellie's portrait wouldn't be on sale, not even for Drahke.

"I'll make a few phone calls tomorrow." Heather told her. "And you need to get a grasp of the worth of your art quickly. Underselling yourself now will hurt more than just you this time." Raven nodded that she understood. It was a problem she had, but she'd get the research done and come up with prices that actually fit. Raven wasn't an amateur artist, she was just an artist that didn't have the opportunity to sell her real work very often. It meant that this was a seller's market, she told herself. Raven originals were rare.

"That's what I like to see. Your inner Mistress leaking out." Lady Heather smiled at her. "You don't need the paintbrush anymore."

"I need to make a lot of calls." Raven would call all those she'd stayed in contact with to let them know her art shows were in the works and to finally hear from the people she'd learn to care about. "Long distance calls." If she was going to call Janette for help in Toronto she might as well call the others.

"I'll lend you my cell phone. I don't pay for long distance." Heather sat back and watched Raven. "How do you feel?"

"Good." Raven nibbled on her lip and smiled. It felt really good to be able to help. It might not be enough, but it would be significant. "I feel really good." Losing the art would be worth it for this. "This has to work."

……………………..

The next morning Raven sat on her bed with a cell phone in her hand. She was a little surprised how easily Janette accepted Raven's disappearing. She was more upset about Raven calling her in the morning, even though it was early afternoon in Toronto. "You know I sleep during the day."

"I'm sorry I forgot you live on vampire hours." Raven leaned back, tired of her bitching out. The strange silence on the other end had Raven concerned. "Janette?"

"Well, I may sleep during the day, but I hardly think that means I'm a vampire. Many other people sleep during the day. You used to." Janette's cultured French accent spoke quickly, but then Janette changed the subject. "I'm sorry about my temper. I'm very cranky in the morning. Why did you call?" It sounded like Janette was finally waking up.

"I wanted to ask for some help." Raven felt strange calling for something after taking off like she had, but Janette was her first call of the day. "I need to sell some art. I'm planning a few shows and I'd like to do one in Toronto."

"You NEED to? That is not good. Nicholai always felt depressed after selling art. Why do you need money?" Janette's ex husband had been an artist, a fact Raven had counted on when she called, hoping Janette would have those contacts.

Raven knew Janette was a little open minded. "My ex was a prostitute and she created a brothel. Her backer is backing right out and it'll ruin her." Raven sighed. "I'm buying a brothel, or at least part of one."

"I'll arrange it for the Friday after your country's Thanksgiving. You'll find nothing in America for that time and you need to schedule the others." Janette paused. "Art sells better with the artist here. You'll need to arrange to come to Toronto by Friday early afternoon." Janette was suddenly very helpful. Raven felt the beginnings of a real belief that this could work. "Bring some of your darker works. The clientele I expect to show up will be rather," Janette was clearly thinking of an American word, "gothic, I believe you call it. But many are also rather rich." It sounded like Janette was describing herself as well. "I'll arrange everything. You can ship your art to my club."

"Thank you. I'll call you later to get the detail." Raven smiled and after a few brief words hung up so that Janette could go back to bed. Her mind was already picking out the pieces she knew she had that would qualify as dark. She actually had a lot that would fall into that category, especially her latest pieces.

Raven took a few minutes looking over her inventory and making marks on the pieces that would have to go to Toronto, but really she was stalling. Finally she picked up the phone for another call. Terrance's voice was still a surprise even though she'd called him. "Hey Terrance."

"Raven?" His voice went a little high with shock. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I've stopped running." Raven smiled a little as she envisioned her boy. "So I thought I'd invite you to an art show or two I'm going to do." They talked for so long Raven had to find the charger and plug Heather's cell phone in to finish it. Thankfully it was the weekend minutes they were using up.

"Did you know that Emily was in the Witness Protection Program?" Terrance said suddenly and Raven was surprised he would let that slip on the phone. He knew better. "She's stopped running too. Her real name is Alexandra and she's a lawyer."

"I know. Is she okay?" Raven really didn't want to tell Drahke something happened to Alex, and the woman was too nice to not care about.

"She moved back to New York. Want her number?" Terrance must have been shuffling through papers, based on the noise coming through the phone. Raven turned her inventory list around and found her pencil, jotting the numbers down. New York, what were the chances that both of Drahke's witness protection girlfriends were from New York? Maybe Raven should ask where the married woman came from.

When she hung up Raven started to dial another number and it still wasn't Tessa. Tessa was on her list of calls to make, and Raven knew she was stalling.

"Hello," A brisk voice answered the phone and it wasn't Alex. Raven looked at the number again and then spoke.

"I'm looking for Alexandra."

"She's not doing any interviews." The woman spoke sternly.

"I'm a friend." Raven wondered what was going on in Alexandra's life. "Raven, we spent some time together when she was in the WPP." WPP was what Alex had started calling it after a while.

"Raven?" The voice was friendlier. "I'm Olivia. She's in the shower, but she isn't going to want to miss your call. I'll get her." Raven put all the pieces together and realized that Alex had her Olivia back. Drahke's hearing that name made all the sense in the world now and Drahke had been right.

When Raven finally hung up with Alexandra she felt a bit stunned. The woman was powerful and rich, who knew. Also who would have expected Alexandra to have all the contacts necessary to set up a showing in New York? She'd jumped to arrange it when she heard what Raven was doing and why.

"Raven, I have a lead on a show for the last week of October." Heather said as she stepped into the room. "Will that work?"

"Sure." Raven had three shows set up and it only took a couple of her hours. Of course it was because other people were willing to deal with the business end for her. "I've got Toronto for November and Alexandra is living in New York. She said she could get me a show."

"I thought she was in the Witness Protection. You could call her?"

"I ran into her again in a different life." Raven looked down to see if the cell was still fully charged. "And I'd left Terrance in the same city. She has her life back now and it was in New York too."

"Well, this is coming together." Heather glanced at the way Raven was holding the phone. "I'm going to the store. We don't even have anything for lunch. You can keep calling as long as you need to." It was understanding and encouraging without Heather actually saying anything about how hard these calls were.

Raven just tried to relax as she listened to Heather getting ready and leaving. As the door shut Raven took a deep breath and called another number. She didn't recognize the voice answering. "Can I talk with Tessa." Raven said once she was given the opening.

…………….

Raven felt nervous as she shipped out the painting for her first show, the one in LA. In the past five weeks she'd added a few pieces to each show that were more specific to the area. It was easier for New York and Toronto, because she'd lived there, but LA was a place she'd visited a time or two.

"Phone." Rachel called out the door while holding the cell out. "Sounds sexy." Rachel spoke more quietly as Raven got close enough to take the cell phone Heather had her add to Heather's account. It was Raven's and she'd only taken it off to deal with the shipment. Lately she'd been getting quite a few calls as Janette, Alexandra, Joseph Heather's LA contact, and Tessa called her at least twice a week. Other people that Raven had known called occasionally now that they had a way to, and Terrance checked in weekly as well. It was still a strange feeling being able to talk to everyone and that everyone wanted to talk to her. No one had held a grudge very long, her goodbye letters over the years had explained it well.

"Hello." Raven spoke while watching the UPS truck drive away.

"Don't hang up." The words were a command and Raven's jaw dropped to hear that voice again.

"Emma?" Raven's eyes dropped to the driveway as she wondered how Emma got this number. Tessa promised she'd stay out of it, that she wouldn't try to play matchmaker anymore. Raven just assumed that would mean not giving away her number as well.

"I saw you'll be having a showing in Manhattan. It wasn't hard to convince Stephen that I needed to be able to call you." Emma's voice was still cool and Raven was just waiting for the threats to begin. Stephen, who was that, Raven thought for a moment and realized that Alexandra had said that name before. "I got your letter."

"I'm sorry." Raven's voice was teary as she hugged her other arm to her body. After a few weeks Raven had written Emma a new letter explaining the alternate future Destiny had warned her of. She wrote about how much it had hurt both Christy and Raven to do nothing, but exactly why they had let the future run its course.

"You don't know that any of this would have happened." Emma was still cold and Raven glanced up when she saw Rachel coming closer. Raven shook her head, not wanting to explain this phone call and not wanting the backup Rachel seemed willing to offer.

"Can you say there was no chance? I'd heard about some of your students Emma and it didn't seem too far fetched to me." Raven's voice was a little shaky, but still stronger. "I even know who Selene would have tortured, and that poor girl didn't deserve that. Death, I wasn't lying to you when I told you death was better. I would still rather die than let her have me again." Tears streamed down Raven's face as she hugged herself with one arm and moved to walk towards the side of the building, seeking shelter and privacy. "You don't understand," Raven's voice cracked. "She really is a monster. I couldn't, no one should have to, God Emma. How could I let anyone go through that? Selene didn't just rape my body Emma, she raped my soul. Over and over again, the things they did to me. How could I let a teenager go through that? I couldn't. I couldn't." There was nothing but silence on the other side. "And Destiny said others would be like her. One Selene is more than enough, No Selene should exist. Pure Evil, she's pure evil." Raven leaned against the side of the house hidden from view. "They would have hurt you, and I didn't hate you. I never did. I never hated you. No one deserved that Emma. No one." Raven took a shaky breath, hoping that Emma was still on the other side listening, because she couldn't hear her. "I'm sorry. If there had been anything else I could have done, anything, but there wasn't. I asked, I asked so many times and there wasn't." Raven stopped talking, but her breathing was ragged from the pain. She whispered so quietly, "I didn't do it to hurt you."

"I have to go." Emma's voice was tight and Raven swore she heard tears in her voice, but then there was nothing as Emma hung up on her. Raven turned and rested her forehead on the building as she tried to take deep breaths, to try and calm down. Finally she gave up and stopped breathing altogether so that she couldn't do that gasping pained breathing anymore.

"Dammit." Raven muttered and resisted the urge to crush her phone, putting it in her pocket before she damaged it.

"I think we should practice meditating before class today." Lady Heather's voice wasn't a surprise. The woman was almost like an empathic tracker the way she always seemed to find Raven when Raven was having problems. "Come here, we'll do it in the poolhouse. A Mistress needs to be calm before she engages a slave or she might hurt her." Heather spoke without too much sympathy and it helped Raven calm down enough to nod. Raven needed to get control of this or it would control her. That was an important lesson she'd been working on for weeks, not repressing and not dwelling.

They walked quietly toward the poolhouse, the water helped Raven be calm. "Are you okay?" Lady Heather finally asked quietly.

"I will be." Was Raven's only reply.

…………………

Catherine seemed to caress her coffee cup as she sat at the kitchen table with Raven. "How was your LA showing? I would have loved to have come, but getting time off work is impossible right now." Raven smiled just a little at the memory of that showing.

"It was great. They took me seriously as an artist and my stuff sold for more than I ever thought I could really get." Last Friday had been great and Heather had gone with her, since it was her contacts that set it up. She did say she couldn't go to Toronto, but that was because of the lousy timing. Zoe would be home for Thanksgiving. "I really thought I'd overpriced." Raven added more quietly, remembering her panic moments before the show started and the urge to run around changing the price tags. And the few pieces that were bid on went up to twice what Raven would have tried to sell them for. Emma wasn't the only one that liked Raven's abstracts. "Did you do the homework?"

"I tied so many knots my fingers ached." Catherine sighed. "And let's just say when your daughter finds a bunch of rope in your bedroom, saying its macramé doesn't work." Raven chuckled. "I have a wonderful attempt at a slipknot hanging from my wall as art now." Raven bent forward as she laughed at the woman.

"Oh man, and I thought Terrance finding the scarf we'd used as a gag was bad. I had to wear it at least three times to pretend I actually got it as clothing." Raven blushed at the memory, but Catherine laughed. "I didn't even know how to wear it as an accessory. I had to buy a pin to make it work."

"Well today we see if all our hard work paid off." Catherine said and Raven stopped smiling. She had a question to ask.

"Would you mind if I tied you up first?" Raven asked quietly and looked down at the table. Catherine got bits and pieces, but todays lesson would be hard on Raven. "I think if I see you do it first I might be okay. It takes a lot of trust to let someone tie you up." Raven's jaw clenched.

"I can go first." Catherine spoke gently. "And I did learn to make good slipknots. I can untie you very fast if you need me to."

"Thanks." Raven looked up. "But I can do this." Her expression was determined. "I just can't do it first, but I can do it." Raven had worked hard on this, preparing herself for tonight. Raven did meditating, visualizing, hell even almost tying herself up for periods of time, just so she wouldn't embarrass herself in the class. Raven didn't want to use her safeword in a classroom environment. It seemed weak to be frightened then.

"Alright." Catherine nodded and went back to drinking her coffee.

"Did I ever tell you how glad I am you're my partner?" Raven spoke quietly before taking a sip of her own coffee. Some of the other couples in the class were a bit scary, but Catherine really seemed trustworthy.

"About as many times as I've told you. I really would have quit if I ended up with someone like Stephanie or Zack."

"That's Lord Zack to you." Raven mocked him, her mutation making it a little too close to real without even realizing she'd tapped into it. Catherine didn't catch it, she just laughed.

……………………


	42. Hellfire 2 Part 23

500 Miles Hellfire 2

By Princess Alexandria

"Hi." Raven spoke softly while laying on her bed. She'd checked the phone number before answering this time and knew who it was.

"Hi." Tessa's voice spoke just as softly. "I called to find out how your second show went."

"It was strange." Raven rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, remembering the dark clothes everywhere and the strange looks she'd get sometimes. "It didn't start until an hour after dark. That's how they worded it too, not eight o'clock, but an hour after dark."

"That's odd." Tessa sounded like she wanted more data, but Raven didn't have any.

"Janette got a really nice set up for me and everything sold. I don't think that's normal and I didn't see all the buyers." Raven suspected Janette was more well to do than she'd let Raven know and that she might have bought a few pieces. "They liked my art. Especially the Genosha set." Raven sighed, still feeling strange about selling those, profiting from those. Every show had some of them. It felt like she was betraying something every time they sold, but the dead didn't need Raven to hold onto them.

"Those were dark but beautiful." Tessa spoke gently and Raven envisioned the dark haired woman lying in her own bed. "What else are you doing besides painting and having shows?"

"Taking a class." Raven didn't volunteer what type of class she was taking. "Just trying to make sense of things."

"Raven, is there any chance that you'll come home for Christmas?" Tessa asked. "Even just a visit, since you're coming to Manhattan for a showing soon?"

"I don't celebrate Christmas." Raven whispered, her throat feeling tight.

"Oh Raven." Tessa's voice sounded slightly pained and guilty. "You used to."

"We've made New Years a bigger deal." Raven added, hoping that Tessa would see it as a trade off. "I can celebrate that." Since it happened Raven was only to one Christmas and that was in this house, surrounded by Mistresses that wanted to protect her and care for her. Still it had been tense, and Heather hadn't decorated much. That was a few years ago. They were quiet for a moment and Raven spoke a little faster. "Do you want to come to my showing?"

"I would love to."

Raven waited and when Tessa didn't ask, Raven broached it. "If you want to bring Emma you could. If she wanted to come." It felt like Raven was really putting her neck out there. She hadn't heard from Emma very much and that made her think she was still unforgiven. "I'm going to be pretty busy talking with people."

"We could get something to eat after?" Tessa asked.

"Yeah, that would be nice. I have trouble eating before a showing so I'll be hungry after." They talked a little longer, and it was more awkward than when they'd been kids, but it still left Raven feeling like she wished Tessa had actually been in the room. Just a week and she'd be in New York again.

………………

"Well I guess this is it." Raven muttered while she stood in the parking lot next to Catherine's car. "Thanks for being my partner." It felt strange having class over.

"Yes, spank you very much." Catherine wiggled her eyebrows and Raven blushed. "I'll be around and you have to call me and tell me what happens with the brothel." Raven had finally told Catherine what she was doing the shows for, right after she'd finally told Drahke. She hadn't told Drahke until after the second show, when it was clear she had enough money to make a difference. Enough of a difference. Drahke had tears in her eyes and held Raven tight when she heard, muttering about how Raven would never have to work again. That with the profits from the brothel Raven would be able to do art all the time, Drahke would make sure she could.

"I'll let you know." Raven opened the door for Catherine and waited for the woman to get in. "Oh and you might want to get a pillow to sit on." Raven smirked as she watched Catherine sitting tenderly. "It helps." Lessons took the heat out of what they did, making it less interesting, but Raven couldn't say she hadn't enjoyed today at least a little. Her grin grew wicked as Catherine pretended to glare at her.

…………….

"This is the contact information." Drahke pulled out a business card and handed it over. "Since you'll already be in town you could call and get the paperwork filled out. I let him know my partner would be in town and he'll make time to see you." Raven stared down at the company trying to sell Drahke's brothel and her jaw dropped. "I really appreciate this."

"Worthington Industries?" Raven looked up and stared at Drahke. The name was some lower level manager, but that was Warren's company. Things just got complicated. "Warren Worthington is an Xman." It wasn't a huge monster secret anymore.

"So you know him." Drahke's smile was too hopeful. Raven was wondering if Warren was petty enough to jack the price up if he knew she wanted it. She didn't think he was, but then he wasn't overly friendly when she was at the mansion.

"He's not a friend." Raven sighed. "We never really got along. He's a pompous stuck on himself ass that spends more time looking at himself than anyone else does." And those were the words that started their downhill spiral of a relationship. "And he heard me call him that a few times." Raven hated how he'd put down her powers at times and she'd always lash back about his looks and vanity. He'd had the nerve to say it was handy that she could sense death, because then she'd know exactly when her being on the team got her teammates killed. It wasn't long after that argument that Ororo took Raven onto her team and Raven was eager to go with so many of her teammates turning on her just because Raven valued their lives more than the strangers they were sent out to protect. It made her a poor team player they'd told her and Raven could see it, but who watched the Xmen's back when the very people they were saving wanted to stab it? Raven tried, but she never did get it. She wasn't meant for that type of team, she finally accepted that but it really wasn't until recently.

Drahke started to look worried that the poor relationship would cause problems. "I've got it under control." Raven smiled gently and put the business card in her pocket. It wasn't guaranteed that she'd need to talk with him. He rarely took care of business himself.

"Is Heather going with you?" Drahke asked as Raven double checked her airline ticket.

"No, she told me she was getting ready for Zoe to come back for the holidays." Raven sighed and put the plane ticket in her pocket as well. It had also come with a discussion about Mistresses not always relying on backup and taking care of the large and small things with confidence, so it made Raven think that Heather could have come, but was afraid Raven would look to Heather if anything went wrong. "But I can do this. Whatever I earn I'll add to what we can buy and then we'll at least own the majority." They'd end up with a partner, Raven couldn't see herself earning more than the other two shows combined and that's what it would take to buy him out completely.

"You really should come by the brothel sometime." Drahke's eyes caressed Raven. "See what you're saving and the women that will still have work because of you."

"I will. I can't just send money and not see what you've done." Raven reached out and touched Drahke's face gently. "You saved me, I'm just glad my art gives me the power to save you." Raven leaned closer and kissed Drahke slowly, tenderly. "Once I do this I promise I'll be a very silent partner. I won't try to change things, you know what you're doing."

"I never once thought you'd get into a power trip over this. You prefer your power trips to be in the bedroom." Drahke smirked at her and pulled back out of reach. "Come on, I'll take you out to lunch and drop you off. That shouldn't interfere with your training to just get a ride to the airport. I'll leave all the hard stuff to you."

"Gee thanks." Raven shook her head in mock disgust, but she really did understand why Heather thought Raven needed this. She'd had a safety net for too long.

……………….

The show was crowded, like the others. Raven wore a black dress and mingled, talking about the history or inspiration for this or that painting as the rich art crowd looked on, and it felt like teaching only too personal to be talking about her own work. She glanced around after finishing a conversation with another potential buyer to see a few familiar faces had joined them. Tessa and Emma both looked like they fit in perfectly and drew Raven's eyes immediately.

She really should go talk to them, Raven thought, but then was pulled into another conversation. Later she could talk, but she had to work now. Still even as Raven talked to people she didn't know, her eyes trailed after Tessa. Tessa looked so beautiful tonight.

As Tessa stood in front of a painting with Emma, Raven let her eyes travel over the blonde. The way Emma stood, the way she stared at Raven's art. Emma was a stunning woman in her own right.

"Raven?" The woman next to Raven spoke and it drew her attention back to the conversation she was supposed to be a part of. "This is a piece of pain and confusion." Raven looked at the abstract piece in front of her. "You convey it so well." Yes, didn't she, Raven thought and managed to not sigh.

"Thank you." Raven just smiled and glanced back across the room, to see Emma staring at her with an unreadable expression. Raven had no idea what it meant, but Emma came. That meant something.

The show seemed to take longer, but it was also over too soon. Raven took a deep breath as the majority of the people left, leaving a few scatterings of people. "You did very well." Alexandra spoke quietly and smiled. "Do you want to go out and celebrate?"

"I have a date." Raven said and then glanced over at Tessa, who was looking her way, "But thank you." She listened to the estimate of sales and said her goodbyes, before slowly moving toward the women staring at the painting in the corner.

"Hello." Raven spoke quietly and waited for the two women to acknowledge her. Tessa turned more quickly than Emma and her eyes held pride. Raven felt flustered with that and blushed.

"I remember you talking about this, the first time you said maybe someday you'd be good enough to sell something." Tessa glanced around at the art. "You used to talk about how it would feel, what you would do with the money, but I your voice always sounded like it was a dream, not something really attainable." Tessa stared into Raven's eyes and spoke more quietly. "You're good enough now Raven. You apparently have been for a long time."

Raven took a shaky breath and looked away as she remembered those talks as well. She really didn't know what to say. "Yeah, the time of begging for a model is over."

"I still say you owe me a sitting." Emma spoke and Raven turned to look at her. There was tension and Raven didn't really know how to respond to Emma now. She did know one thing, she needed to.

"Okay." Raven spoke quietly and stared into Emma's blue eyes, trying to gauge the blonde's reaction to Raven's move. "Tomorrow?" They needed to deal with this and Raven wasn't running anymore. Her voice was in control, almost a challenge to Emma's own power. "I don't have time for a full painting, but I could do a few detailed drawings for you." Raven had picked the battlefield and Emma had the next move.

"Sounds lovely." Emma's reply came with a pointed stare. "Where were you thinking of doing it?"

"My hotel room." Raven didn't blink as she stared back. "I'll pick up some supplies before lunchtime. I have a lot of free time this weekend, before I take care of some business on Monday."

"Oh yes, the brothel." Emma moved to glance over toward where Alexandra was about to walk out the door making it clear where she got that information. "You do love rescuing ex-lovers don't you?"

"Well, if a person ever actually cared then they'd still want lovers to do well even after it's over." Raven resisted the urge to make a rude comment, because that would drag Tessa into this. "You can't tell me you disapprove of my new business Emma." Raven shook her head, knowing that Emma's morality would have no problem with the business Raven was going into. Tessa had heard this story and while she had been a little surprised, and that doesn't happen often, Tessa didn't judge Raven for it. "Shall we go eat?" They could stay here and make subtle jabs, but Raven wasn't going to waste the night that way.

As they were getting into the car Tessa spoke. "Warren is getting rid of a brothel he didn't realize he owned." Raven just sighed.

"Don't tell him I'm buying some of it, okay?" Raven settled into the back seat, a choice she had made, because Tessa offered up the passenger seat. "I can imagine what the others would say about my going into this business and I'd rather not deal with that right now. Let's wait until I'm actually in the sex trade before I hear that lecture." Raven's voice was sarcastic. Emma smirked for a moment. Being in the back seat gave Raven a good view of both women in the car. "Besides, I'm going to be a silent partner in it. Drahke built this thing from the ground up and I'm not going to go in there and take over anything."

They stopped at a late opened restaurant a few miles from the show. Raven wanted to change out of her dress into something more comfortable, but with the others wearing those clothes she wasn't sure how much more comfortable she could get and still fit in. With a moment of thought Raven switched to a pantsuit, still dressed up, but able to move more freely. She smirked at Tessa as she got out of the car.

Dinner was an exercise in denial. Raven had seen it in action before, but once again nothing real was talked about. They never mentioned Raven's role in the Hellions deaths, they avoided any talk of the Hellfire club or anyone from there. The Xmen's daily antics and quirks took up most of the dinner conversation. Raven found out that Bobby was clueless that the new business teacher was gay and attracted to him, she heard about the fact that Scott had taken to working on a new car and it seemed he was avoiding people more than indulging in his mechanical side. It might be because they were in public that the conversation was so inane, but Raven was getting frustrated with it.

When Emma got up to go to the bathroom, Raven found herself looking around the restaurant, taking in who was there, making sure it wasn't someone that would be trouble. She did this quickly and quietly, but when she stopped she saw Emma still standing at the table watching her. That unreadable expression was back. "Would you rather escort me? Because I can assure you I can manage on my own. I won't talk to strangers and I'll make sure not to take any candy from them." Emma's sarcasm was actually welcome, because it was better than actually asking about why Raven was checking the place to make sure it was safe.

"Make sure you go in the one with the lady on it." Raven spoke as if talking to a little girl. "And don't forget to wash your hands." Raven turned back to her plate and ignored the blonde as she walked away.

"You were worried about her." Tessa spoke quietly. "Worried that she'd run into trouble like I did."

Raven didn't bother denying it, she just changed the subject. "I heard from Karen that you and Emma are a couple now."

"We've worked through our differences and decided to give it a try." Tessa stared at Raven. "She's taken some rather creative jabs about that. A few people seem to consider me yours." Raven had to wonder who that would be, since when she was there few aside from Storm approved of that at all. "Storm even talked to me, asking me if I was really thinking about what I was doing?" Raven couldn't help it, the idea of someone asking Tessa if she was thinking made her smile for a moment. That was liking asking Scott if he was leading, or Kitty if she was talking. Tessa's voice dropped and got a little deeper, hinting to her being more serious and concerned. "I told her that we'd talked about this and that you understood. I wasn't lying to her, I don't think I was."

"I do understand, well, for the most part I understand." Raven sighed and glanced over toward the bathrooms, noticing that the people that could see down that hall were acting normally. "But Tessa, this really does complicate things. I won't lie, I would have preferred to not deal with this." Raven looked back at Tessa, seeing that Tessa had noticed what Raven had been doing. "There is already so much baggage just between us."

"And then when we add the baggage you and Emma share it does fill the car doesn't it?" Tessa spoke gently.

"Yeah." Raven glanced over toward the bathrooms again, thinking that it wasn't taking too long yet, but didn't want Emma walking up to them during this conversation. "Don't come tomorrow if she does." Raven turned to stare into Tessa's eyes. In those months away Raven had made a tentative decision. Truthfully, it was a decision she'd considered and one that inspired her trip home. "I need to do this." Raven swallowed and resisted the urge to look away. That was a submissive move, she'd learned that, and right now she needed Tessa to give her this. "Just continue to stay out of this, for now at least. I need to be able to deal with her myself."

"I see." Tessa said and Raven knew she really did.

The blonde they were talking about came out from the hall to the bathroom and Raven noticed her. "I do love you." Raven said quietly to Tessa, while watching the blonde walk across the restaurant towards them.

………………….

Raven had a bit of trouble sleeping and absolutely none with waking up. By eleven she'd gone to an art supply store, bought a few things, ran past a fabric store and picked up a lot of light blue fabric that would go with Emma's eyes and the texture would show in a charcoal sketch, adding interesting contrasts to the type of dress Raven assumed Emma would wear. They also had an oversized decorative pillow that Emma would look good leaning on. Raven picked up a light airy fabric that she had a few ideas for. Raven had run past a liquor store and got a nice bottle of wine and a glass from the nearby kitchen store. All of this was set up and ready, and the bottle of wine was chilling.

Raven ate at the hotel restaurant even though she wasn't all that hungry, not wanting to get hungry once things started. Once she was done she sat in the lobby and attempted to read a magazine, but she felt jittery and really used that time to meditate like Heather had taught her, to keep that Mistress calm.

"I'm looking for Raven Taylor." A familiar voice had Raven looking up to see she'd missed Emma walking in. Emma had a clothing bag over her shoulder and wore more comfortable pants and a shirt.

Before the man could tell Emma that there was no Raven Taylor at the hotel Raven stood up and started toward them. "Emma."

"Raven." Emma turned to her and then spoke a little quieter to the man, "Never mind, I found her." Hopefully he didn't pay much attention to them afterwards or Raven would have to explain the name difference.

"Well, shall we." Raven motioned with a hand which direction Emma should walk and moved to take a bag from the blonde's hands. Emma was staring, Raven knew it, but she didn't acknowledge it. "What color will you be wearing?"

"I went with a black dress." Emma said as Raven hit the button on the elevator.

"Good, that should work very well with the scene I've created." Raven did her best to be overly polite for now. It seemed Emma was willing to play along because she didn't say anything to ruin it as they rode the elevator up to one of the top floors. Raven had asked for a room with a view of the city when she got the place and she wasn't disappointed. It had cost more, but this plan had been in the back of her mind when she'd booked it.

Raven moved to the door with the do not disturb sign on it and unlocked it. "I had to rearrange things, but I think I have something good. Just didn't want the maids to complain." Raven opened the door and went in, taking in how the bed now fit up against the window and the sun shined in. "One long sitting works better than several shorter ones and I'm more familiar with your features now. I can do this in a weekend if you're willing to give me both days." Raven turned to see Emma studying the blue fabric and the bed, she noticed the blonde looking at the pillow and then at the canvas set up in the corner.

"We'll see." Emma moved to take the dress bag from Raven's hand and moved toward the bathroom.

Once Emma was in place on the sea of blue fabric Raven moved forward, her face calm as she started to place her model in a pose. She reached out and moved to caress Emma's cheek as she moved hair out of the way. Raven stared into Emma's unblinking eyes for a moment before slowly caressing the cheek again as if she hadn't gotten all the hair moved. Raven reached out and gently moved an arm bending Emma's elbow just a little more, and let her hand caress the inner curve of the elbow before moving to gently push a hip back just a little, not even really a visible amount, but Raven then went about playing with the draping of the dress.

"This is hardly as violent a process as I remember it." Emma spoke and Raven relied on her training to not blush, to just accept the words and not worry about the subtext of it.

"You look very good in black. I wish you'd give up the white and just accept it." Raven spoke softly and moved back, studying the pose she'd just put the blonde in, but also studying the blonde's reaction to her words. Without giving Emma a chance to respond Raven continued. "The contrast with your skin is more artistic than the white, which blends too much with a pale woman." Raven spoke professionally. "So is that pose good or do you need some support?"

Emma's eyebrow arched, but she answered with only a hint of a sarcastic tone. "I'm fine."

"I'll use these sketches as the basis for a painting." Raven said as she moved to her easel. "Your not going to be able to talk too much as I start." Raven warned Emma, but really it wouldn't have affected much, it just served to ensure the blonde stayed quiet and in doing so gave Raven control.

After a half hour Raven had still not started to draw Emma's face. She'd drawn in the sheet Emma was laying on, but left the shading for later, she'd put in the dress and Emma's legs, but she was saving that excuse to keep Emma quiet as long as possible. She kept it a little too long, because Emma started to talk. "I've thought a lot about the situation you found yourself in." Emma spoke quietly, sounded almost lost in thought as she said it. "About what you must have been thinking and feeling and I can see why you'd believe Destiny's version of the future. We gave you little indication that it could ever be anything different, but my kids were good kids. The New Mutants never saw the best in them, their competitions made sure of that." Raven stopped drawing and just sat still. She didn't know what to do with Emma's denial, because Raven still believed Destiny. Emma's words were soft and not accusing, and Raven didn't offer an apology into the silence. She'd apologized so much and it really wouldn't make it better. With that thought Raven's eyes fell to the ground as she thought about all the small apologies that Emma had given her, and how insignificant they'd seemed. An apology was insignificant and small in cases like theirs, but that didn't mean it wasn't felt. Raven's eyes looked up into blue eyes staring at her. "I'll forgive you this time, but if Destiny tells you anything else, if you withhold something from me that gets my students hurt again, you will regret it." It ended on a threat and Raven heard it, but her mind was still stuck on the other words. Forgiven. So many years Raven had carried this burden and Emma's words felt like they were powerful enough to knock Raven to the floor.

"I didn't want it to happen." Raven spoke quietly, repeating words she'd repeated so many times.

"I know." Emma started to move, to run a hand through her hair, and Raven as an artist should have stopped her, but she didn't. "You thought you were protecting Tessa." Raven started to move forward, seeing how Emma's hair was out of place now.

"Not just Tessa." Raven spoke softly as she moved to squat down next to the bed and stare into Emma's eyes, before her hand moved out to move and caress Emma's hair back into place. "Not just Tessa." Raven whispered as she let her hand caress Emma's cheek. "I didn't want you hurt either Emma. Christy and I made sure to tell the Professor you'd protected us a little, we left out the rest, but that was back when I thought he'd care and might help me get justice. I didn't want you getting hurt, Christy cared about you too much." Raven's finger gently caressed the blonde's lip and it felt like her heart was beating faster, but she pulled away. "And Generation X, we'd heard about them." Raven turned to go back to her easel after reminding Emma of other pieces of that prophecy, a little surprised at how Emma had allowed her touch. Raven had clearly gone above and beyond the artist's duty with it.

After sketching for a while it felt like they'd grown accustomed to the tension between them and Raven looked up, catching Emma's eyes and holding the stare. "I've been staying with a friend of mine in Vegas. She owns a club." Raven moved to start to sketch. "Don't move, I'm working on your lips." Raven lied as she drew in some of Emma's hair. It had taken a while to get up the nerve to go ahead and if Emma spoke it might ruin it at this point. "It's a BDSM club." Raven spoke casually as she moved her charcoal over the page, paying more attention to Emma's face than she needed to in order to draw Emma's hair. "Her form is the one I took at the dinner party you held with the Xmen." Raven focused on the page and moved her charcoal faster. "No, hold still." Raven muttered as Emma's expression started to change, looking like she was going to talk. "I'm still working on your face." Raven moved her hand filling in Emma's hair, slowly moving into the blonde's facial features. "This drawing is coming along very well." Raven muttered as she started to fill in an arched eyebrow. She went quiet for a moment as she put the outline of Emma's eyes on the page. Emma's eyes were one of her best features, Raven thought as she looked at the ice blue of them again. "I'd spent time at her club before, but this time I wasn't as," Raven nibbled on her lip and focused on the blonde's eyelashes, "fragile. I asked questions I hadn't asked before, even though my relationship with Mystique included some power games, there was a lot I didn't know. Probably is still a lot I don't know." Raven looked up, staring into Emma's captured eyes, enjoying the way the blonde stared at her.

"I knew there was a story behind that Gertrude form." Emma spoke and Raven let her. "Are you hoping to be able to Dominate Tessa now? Give her that?" It was like that earlier conversation about the Hellions hadn't happened, old habits perhaps, but Emma's voice was slightly taunting. Emma liked to argue, and seemed to love to argue with Raven more than anyone. Her entire attitude screamed for it at times, demanded that Raven lash out. It was passionate and angry, and Raven almost let herself go there again. Raven liked the struggle just as much as Emma seemed to, liked being able to fight back and see she couldn't be punished for it. Maybe that's why Emma did it, Raven thought and it almost distracted her. It took a good deal of effort to push that thought aside and focus on her conversation.

"No," Raven stared into the blue eyes and made no pretense of drawing. "I can't top her. It feels wrong, and I think it always will. It isn't just what she's been through." Raven took a deep breath. "She's my Mistress. I think I may have accepted her as that long before that club, she always was the stronger one, but there Tessa took me places I didn't think I could go and I need her like that. She's not typical in any way and I remember you thought she was too submissive as our Mistress, but I have no desire to Dominate her." Raven held Emma's eyes a little longer, before moving to focus on the drawing again. "I learned about safe words and other things." Raven's hand started to move to draw again. "Do you know what safe words are? Did they ever actually use that there?"

"I've heard of them, but no we didn't use them." Emma actually answered her. "I'm a telepath, I knew the limits of my slaves."

"But you can't read Tessa anymore." Raven pointed out and did her best to remain calm through this talk.

"I can still tell." Emma told her and Raven just nodded, but focused on drawing more.

"Keep still." Raven warned as she moved to quickly draw that mouth she'd claimed she'd already drawn. "I'm almost done with you, and I can fill in the background without you." Raven had left the face for last, wanting that leverage to make Emma hold still kept for as long as possible. "I'll give you a stretch break after this and then I have another pose idea for you." Raven's voice was firm and she started in on the shading on Emma's face. Her voice went quieter. "You are a beautiful woman Emma, it's a shame it's so often just on the outside." Raven knew it made Emma mad, it was in her eyes. Raven started to wipe her hands off, the charcoal clinging to her. "You can take a break." The blonde waited just a moment, glaring at Raven, before sitting up, and then standing. Raven watched Emma roll her shoulders and stretch a little.

Raven moved out from behind her easel and closer to the blonde. "Emma, I have a change of clothes for you." Emma's eyebrow, just the one, went higher. "Once you are done with your break I'll help you with it." Raven spoke as if she wasn't planning to take no for an answer. She didn't beg, she just assumed. The new clothes were really just a piece of fabric Raven would drape over the naked telepath, and Raven wondered at her chances of actually getting Emma to do that. Emma wasn't modest, but Raven sensed this would require a battle. Raven's eyes fell to Emma's shoulders, bare as they were, and imagined the blonde in nothing at all. Her memory filled in details and she knew Emma would be stunning in the next drawing.

"What are you after here Raven?" Emma asked outright and started moving closer, the way Emma held her body spoke of domination and control, it was very familiar, and Raven stood taller in response, more rigidly. Her eyes stared into Emma's not backing down, not submitting in any way. "You've changed? Delusions of grandeur? A few months in a club and you think you're Mistress material?" Emma leaned in, her voice dipping down to a whisper. "My Mistress? Please, you couldn't ever hope to top me." Raven surged forward at the challenge and grabbed Emma's arms, holding them tightly. She could feel Emma struggle, her arms attempting to pull away, then attempting to push forward, but Raven enhanced her strength and pressed back slowly. Forcing Emma to take a step back or fall, and then another, until the back of the blonde's legs hit the bed.

"Don't push me Emma. I'm more than willing to push back." Raven finished the comment with a rough toss onto the bed, watching Emma fall onto it less than gracefully. "No more Emma, no more White Queen with me." Not all of Raven's training had been with Catherine and Raven's eyes burned as tendrils similar to the ones on her portal moved with lightning speed, erupting from her back and darting out to pin the blonde's arms to the bed. Lady Heather had worked with Raven, exploring how Raven's mutation could be used to make a slave submit. Lady Rachel had been the willing partner for those sessions and Raven glared as she stepped forward, two more tendrils moving to hold Emma's legs down. Raven had modeled the tendrils partly after Dr. Octopus, a man she'd only seen pictures of. It gave her complete control of Emma and Raven stared as the blonde struggled, only able to move her arms and legs a minimal amount. Blonde hair fell wildly over the blue fabric and a reddened and angry face glared back up at Raven when Emma finally stopped struggling.

She stared at the blonde. "No more Emma. You can't expect me to submit to both of you, and I've already told you Tessa is my Mistress. That just leaves one role for you." It felt like Raven was watching someone else hold Emma down, like someone else moved forward to kneel over the woman, straddling her hips and staring down into her eyes. The tendrils moved and twisted to get out of her way but still hold the blonde down. Surely Raven couldn't do this, but Raven didn't feel Christy inside her and she knew as she leaned down to whisper into the heavily breathing blonde trying to escape her that she'd won. Raven's heart was pounding and her hands wanted to feel Emma's struggle, wanted to hold Emma down as well, but in all the training Raven had, it became clear that she should leave the immobilizing to the tendrils. Raven's smile was a little cruel as she looking into glaring eyes. "You told me I was too strong for people to make me do anything Emma. I'm too strong for you to get away." Raven used the newly shifted additions to her body to push Emma's arms and legs further into the bed.

Raven's voice became a whisper as she got closer. "Safeword Emma. I'll give you that, what you never gave us, but we are doing this my way or we are never ever doing this." She could see the proud woman struggling and Raven's voice softened. "I'm not saying I'll never submit, but I can't, I just can't, until I learn to trust you. Give me this. If you still want me, you need to give me this." Raven moved back, her voice a normal tone. "I'll walk away and I'll never give you another chance if you can't give. You've taken so much, if you can't give there is no point in this. There was no satisfaction before, you left Christy feeling like sex was nothing more than a job. You took and you took, and you never gave."

Emma's struggle stopped and she stared at Raven, calculating, most likely plotting, and Raven waited She listened as Emma's breathing started to calm and noticed that Raven's own breathing had stopped completely. Raven started to breath again and her voice was quieter. "She wanted your touch so much it haunted her, and you never touched her. I felt her pain." Raven's hands slowly started to caress Emma's skin where the dress exposed it, her upper chest, and her shoulders. For some reason, Raven really liked Emma's shoulders, they drew her touch. "She loved even you and she'd been alone for months trying to get home. You had the power to ease her soul and you didn't. You just made it worse. She just wanted some affection, that's all she wanted, and it took that night with Selene to get any from you." Tears filled Raven's eyes but she just blinked hard and tried to clear her vision. "I loved her, and you hurt her." Raven took a moment and focused on her powers, and a trick Christy had taught her, she pulled her tears inside and then reached into her soul like Heather taught her and sought her calm. A Mistress mask came over Raven's features and she waited. She noticed Emma relaxing, her struggle stopping completely and her head rested back on the bed. Emma sighed and stared up at the ceiling a moment before looking into Raven's eyes.

"Christy, my safe word is Christy. You'll hear that and she never would have hurt me." Emma spoke slowly and Raven took a moment to stare into eyes, searching for something. Raven saw only a surface surrender there, the woman had dignity and probably couldn't let it go, and Raven wanted her to keep that. It was attractive.

Raven blinked at the choice of safe word and spent a moment wondering at it, before pushing that thought aside. "Okay, Christy it is." Raven repeated it. Moving forward and placing her hands on either side of Emma's head on the bed Raven stared down at the blonde. "I want your mouth." Raven's voice became heated as she imagined that cruel mouth all over her body. It would show Emma wasn't her Mistress, because to Emma that wasn't a Mistress thing to do. "I want your mouth all over me." This wasn't normal, the way Raven dominated, it was what she needed. Raven's voice was a command and her clothing faded into her body, leaving her the only naked one on the bed. Reverse yet again, but she wasn't letting Emma up to get undressed, not just yet, she didn't trust that the woman wouldn't try to leave.

Raven leaned down and captured pink lips, kissing hard and demanding. A groan escaped her lips as she felt Emma respond. It shook her out of what she was doing and Raven pulled back, with a new concern. Her powers. "I haven't been with anyone since I changed. Don't make me scream."

"That takes some of the fun out of it." Emma smirked at her and Raven's grip on Emma's arms weakened a little, but the blonde didn't try to pull away. "You want my mouth, come to it." Raven leaned down and kissed Emma again, her soft moan didn't stop her as she moved to kiss the woman's neck, and Raven's body ached.

Moving forward just a little Raven leaned down, her breast level with Emma's mouth. "Suck, bite." Raven ordered as she lowered her body. "Rough is good." Raven muttered as Emma's lips closed over her nipple. "Yes," Raven gasped as her nipple was taken between teeth and pulled. No Mistress reserve was left in her, Raven would need more training, she thought distractedly as she pulled back just a little to see Emma didn't let go. "Oh yes." Raven moved closer and Emma moved from biting to sucking, and kissing. "Yes, use that mouth."

"This isn't what you want me to suckle is it." Emma pulled away and asked, her voice still had that commanding edge and Raven had to discipline her. Raven's hands moved to Emma's hair and pulled her down to the bed.

"I'll tell you when I want more." Raven's voice was a warning. She needed more foreplay first and she didn't want this over too fast. "Mouth." Raven ordered and moved her other breast into range. The nip of teeth was a little too sharp, but Raven flinched and didn't pull back. "Rebellious slave." Raven pressed down on the woman, holding her head still and using her body to move her breast over that mouth. "I will punish you if you don't behave." Raven whispered. "I've just spent months learning how. I did that for you Emma." Raven's voice was too sweet, which highlighted the threat. Emma's breathing was changing, coming faster and Raven started to wonder at the woman's always claiming she wasn't a submissive, not even a little bit. "Do you want it?" Raven pulled back and started to move.

"Just do it already." Emma spoke, her voice a little heated, but still not submissive. Raven reached down and found the blonde's erected nipple through her dress, pinching hard, but careful not to use her enhanced strength. "Ahh." Emma's back arched up. Oh God she looked good like that, Raven thought as she pinched again.

"Call me Mistress." Raven spoke coldly, and pinched a little harder, using the other breast. Emma's back arched and she squirmed, but she didn't speak. "Call me Mistress." Raven repeated before pinching harder.

"Mistress." It would sound like a bored comment if it weren't for the panting, but it would do for now. Emma said it.

"I have my doubts that you can give pleasure." Raven spoke with disdain. "I wonder if you even know how." Raven started to move up, but she kept the woman pinned down. "Prove me wrong." Raven felt her heart hammering as she straddled the blonde's face. She just stared down at Emma a moment, feeling like this couldn't possibly be real. A soft whimper escaped her lips as she watched the blonde lip her own lips and look up at her seductively. "Don't bite me here." Raven ordered as she lowered her body slowly. Oh God, Raven just managed to not say it but her body shook at the first touch of that mouth on her sex. Raven stared down her body to see brilliant blue eyes staring at her, unblinking blue eyes. Raven gasped and her body jerked, moving Emma out of sight for a moment, but Emma was still staring when Raven looked down again. "Like that, that's good." Raven muttered. It was more than good. Raven felt consumed. Raven felt a scream aching to come out and she struggled with it, to the point of pulling up. "Oh shit." Raven muttered as Emma's mouth stopped. "My powers." Raven felt more frustrated than she'd ever felt before as she told Emma what was wrong. "Oh God, Emma."

"Just don't scream." Emma spoke and Raven stared down at the woman panting as much as she was. "Squirm, clench, gasp, but don't scream. Mistresses don't scream and you can't."

"It's so hard." Raven slowly started to lower herself again. "Oh God," She whispered as Emma slowly started again. "Oh God." Raven's hands clenched in the sheets under her and her body started to rock against that mouth. "Take," Raven couldn't believe how good it was. "Take me." Raven pleaded. "Oh God, take me."

"Still a little submissive." Emma moved her head to speak. "If you want to be taken you need to let me up."

"No, no, no. I'm not submissive to you." Raven pressed down, seeking that mouth. "Not to you. Give."

"Give, take. Do you even know the difference?" Emma spoke and Raven reached down to grab her head and pull her to Raven's sex.

"Shut up and suck." Raven's voice was ragged. She held Emma to her until the woman started to lick her again. "Suck." Raven ordered again. Lips closed over her and Raven took a gasping breath as Emma sucked.

Raven came, gasping and shaking, a nearly silent squeak was all that escaped her. She took air into her body in gasps and her body felt like collapsing. Raven pulled her sex away from that mouth as Emma tried to keep going, but it was too soon. Raven was sensitive. "Oh yes." Raven managed to get it out, and then she finally made her body move, but she had to struggle to not let the tendrils move.

"Do you have what you wanted?" Emma asked, but her face was reddened and her breathing heavy. Raven ran a hand over the peaks of Emma's breast, feeling how hard they'd gotten.

"No, not just yet." Raven smiled just a little and started to partially get off of Emma. This was the hard part, it took a lot of coordination. Raven focused and jerked the blonde's body around onto her front. It twisted the tendrils awkwardly, but Raven enjoyed the shocked cry from Emma as Raven put Emma on her knees and bowing on the bed. The crossover of the front tendrils pushed Emma's head down into the bed. "I hear you like a nice rosy red." Raven reached down to touch the hem of Emma's dress, slowly pushing it up.

Emma started to struggle and buck. Raven wasn't sure why she was surprised, she should have anticipated that. "You were bad and this is my pound of flesh Emma." Raven squeezed a cheek as she spoke. It just made Emma struggle more. "You know how to stop me if you really need me to." Raven spoke coldly and finished exposing Emma's lacy panties to the air. One enhanced tug tore those right off. No words came from Emma's lips, so Raven didn't stop. A slightly evil grin crossed her lips as she moved to the side just a little, so she could bring her hand solidly down on the blonde's pale skin. A crack sound of contact filled the room, partially artificially created by the way Raven held her had. She had training after all.

"God damn you." Emma yelled and squirmed to try and look back at Raven. Raven allowed her that much mobility and stared with a smirk at Emma.

"I'm going to spank you until you have trouble sitting." Raven felt powerful and playful. "And then I'll spank you a little more. Do you need a gag or can you keep from screaming? I know Christy could do it, but you might not be able to."

Christy was more than a safe word between them, Raven could see it the moment she'd uttered it. The spark in Emma's eyes calmed and Emma sighed. The blonde didn't fight it as Raven's hand came down again. Once Raven noticed that she started the spanking in earnest, but she hit the blonde in ways to excite her as well, or hopefully excite her. The gasp after one hit had Raven caressing Emma's reddening rear. "So pretty." Raven muttered as she let her hand caress lower. A condescending tone filled the room. "Looks like I found that lie. You told us you weren't into this, but Emma," Raven paused and let her fingers do the talking, moving through wet flesh. Emma's body shook. "That's worth a few more spanks don't you think? Lying?"

……………….

Hours later it was dark and Raven stood hesitantly at the door of the hotel, leaning on the door handle as Emma finished straightening herself in the mirror. The woman still stood tall and proud, but she moved just a little slower. "You really are beautiful." Raven spoke softly and stared into Emma's eyes as the blonde turned to her, not looking at all like she'd just spent hours having rough sex, being dominated. Emma also didn't beg, Raven found that interesting and since Emma didn't beg Emma hadn't been pleasured herself. It seemed fair to leave her wanting at least once. "I forgive you." Raven spoke quietly and noticed the slight flinch of Emma's response. "And if we can make this work…"

"I won't submit like this often Raven. I'll give this to you, but not often." Emma shook her head, but a small smile put doubt on the words being true.

"Look, another lie." Raven smiled at finding another one.

"Did you want to," Emma glanced at the easel and the partially done drawing with a smirk, "have Tessa over tomorrow to model?"

"Yes." Raven actually felt the surge of renewed need at that thought.

"Will we ever do a group drawing?" Emma tilted her head, not talking about art at all. Emma just seemed amused at the pretense Raven used to get her there. It was rather cliché.

"Yes, but not yet." Raven looked over at the easel. "Not just yet." Raven nibbled on her lip. "You two are so beautiful together." Emma moved forward and claimed the poor abused lip with her own. When she pulled back Raven stepped closer and kissed her again, tenderly.

"So are you and Tessa." Emma took the door handle from Raven's hands. "I'll tell her that you want to see her."

"Thank you."

……………..

Sunday morning Raven got up and started to put the room back the way it had been. Tessa wouldn't need a ruse to let Raven speak, or anything else. Still Raven did have a chair placed before the window that could serve as a scene for a sketch or two if she needed it to.

By late Sunday morning Tessa was knocking on the door. Raven looked up from the drawing of Emma she was finishing from memory and started to wipe her hands as she moved to let Tessa in. Raven's eyes moved appreciating Tessa's long coat covered body and commanding stance. Emma told her something, Raven could see it in Tessa's eyes. Raven held the door opened for the dark haired woman.

"Emma sends her regards." Tessa smirked just a little.

Raven closed the door and turned to stare at Tessa, watching as Tessa slowly undid the buttons on her coat. "Tessa." Raven's voice was rough. "Did you want me to sketch or," Raven's words trailed off as she saw the dark haired woman pull the coat off, leaving her in leather pants and a black silk shirt. "Oh Tessa." Raven stared at the woman, taking in the expansion of flesh shown as Tessa didn't button all the way up. Tessa was definitely worthy of a few sketches looking like that.

"She still has trouble sitting. You did punish her well." Tessa walked around with a graceful gait, taking in the drawing Raven had been working on. "And I believe Emma told me to make sure to make you beg, it's a challenge to her now. I didn't bother to tell her I strongly suspect that you like begging." Tessa caressed the canvas, moving with more confidence than Raven had seen in her for a while. The uncertainty was gone and Tessa hated uncertainty. "This is beautiful. She made me think that the drawing was just a trick to get her here, but this is a lovely charcoal Raven."

"No, it was just a trick to keep her quiet so I could talk." Raven glanced at the drawing and then back at Tessa. Raven's small smile faded and serious eyes stared into Tessa's. "You know I would have never cheated on you, but this is what you wanted right? It was okay?"

"Oh, Raven," Tessa sighed and moved forward to caress Raven's cheek. "I just want you to do whatever makes you happy. I would never make you be with her."

"You didn't." Raven looked away for a moment and caught herself. She forced her eyes back to Tessa. "She's very attractive in her own right, and Emma was there for me when the world came crashing down on us. She's like a force of nature."

"I know." Tessa spoke softly moving closer. "She told me that we had you, that you were ours. Are you?"

"Yes," Raven's arm shook a little as she reached out to Tessa. "I'm yours. I can't say I'm hers, but I am yours." Raven moved forward to kiss Tessa, a slow tender kiss that she put all her love into. "I do care about her, but I don't know if I can love two people the way I love you. You consume me, you complete me, and I feel only half alive without you." Raven stared into Tessa's eyes. "I'm yours. It's all I really ever wanted, to be yours. I really don't know or understand what Emma is to me yet. It's hard to think I could love like this twice, I never have before. What I have with her will always be different than what I have with you."

Tessa had tears in her eyes and Raven brushed them off of Tessa's cheeks as they fell. "I want to make love to you." Raven spoke quietly. "When it was Christy and I, we never made love to you, and I want that with you, but if you aren't ready I would wait forever for you Tessa. I was always just waiting for you."

"You were always such a romantic Raven, I'm glad you still have that." Tessa leaned forward and kissed Raven gently back. "Oh I love you." Tessa whispered and Raven breathing hitched with her own tearful breathing.

Tessa took Raven's hand and gently pulled her along as Tessa walked backwards to the bed. "I'll give you everything." Tessa whispered. "If it had been just you, I would have given myself to you back then, but I thought we deserved something to be just ours, something we wouldn't even share with Christy. I didn't want to take from her what I wanted you to give to me."

"She loved you too." Raven watched as Tessa sat on the bed and started to move backwards on it, making room. "Oh Tessa." Raven's hands shook as they moved to help Tessa with the buttons on her shirt. "You are a goddess to me and I worship you, I still worship you." Raven moved to straddle Tessa, crawling up her. "I want to worship you." Raven crawled up until she could stare down into Tessa's eyes, her own pleading.

"Yes." Tessa reached up and pulled Raven down into a heated kiss. She kissed along Raven's neck and then whispered into her ear. "I want you to touch me." Raven's breathing stopped and she took a shaking hand and placed it on Tessa's now exposed stomach, caressing Tessa's soft pale skin. Raven always loved Tessa's skin.

Raven's lips followed her hands and Raven kissed and used her lips to caress Tessa's skin. Her hand moved down to the button of the pants Tessa wore before looking up for permission.

Tessa helped her remove the pants and Raven remembered comments about leather pants, but she used the difficulty in removing them to her advantage by kissing and Tessa's legs ever few inches. The pants were tossed to the side once they were off and Raven moved to rest her body between spread legs. Tessa was beautiful, every inch of her. Raven inhaled the scent of her lover and moved forward to claim something she'd never been allowed to claim before. "I love you." Raven told Tessa, staring into her eyes and willing Tessa to see that love in Raven's eyes, before bowing her head down to kiss a soft inner thigh. "You are my heart." Raven kissed the other inner thigh.

"Raven." Tessa's voice shook. Her voice grew louder as Raven kissed her one more time, a deep kiss that could have gone on for hours, because Raven would have loved for it to have. Tessa bucked against her, Tessa cried out for her, and Raven shook as Tessa came.

……………..

Raven met Mr. Childs at one. She'd walked right into Warren's building and took the elevator up to meet with the short fat little man with a bow tie. He seemed eager to sell, so Raven just sat back as if she had all the time in the world. "My partner wants to get this taken care of as quickly and quietly as possible." She said and noticed him relax a little. "But I told her that since I can't afford the whole thing that was going to be impossible." Her voice was calm and slightly deeper than her average. "Now we need to start to advertise to try and get a partner we can live with." Mr. Childs eyes widened and Raven thought she saw him starting to sweat. "I really had hoped to make enough when I liquidated some of my assets, but it just didn't happen."

"Oh, um, so you don't have it all?" He moved to loosen his collar and Raven resisted the urge to smile as she saw the weakness. They wanted her to buy this out, the time given to Drahke was to keep this quiet. That meant that Raven had some power here, that and the fact that Mr. Childs wasn't a strong man.

By the time she left Raven had managed to buy most of the brothel, with an agreement that the rest would be held for her to purchase with the profits she received from the business. It was an amazing deal and it left her and Drahke the only owners. All because Warren's company didn't want people to know what they'd gotten into. It felt a little like blackmail, but it was worth it. Raven smiled as she walked out of Worthington Industries. Emma's limo waited for her, the blonde had loaned it to her saying that once again Raven needed help with her image, she needed to give the air of money and power to the mid level manager. It was a nice perk that had worked.

"So now I go back." Raven told Tessa as she sat down. Tessa sat in the back waiting for her. "but I'll be back." Raven reached out and took Tessa's hand. Emma and Tessa lived here, so that meant Raven was going to have to try and consider New York home again if she wanted this, and she wanted it. "I just need to take care of some business."

"You'll miss Christmas?" Tessa asked, but she sounded like she knew the answer.

"I'll be back by Valentine's day." The day she'd lost Christy, Raven sighed and looked down at their hands. "We can make this work right?"

"I believe we can." Tessa sounded so sure of herself and Raven wanted to believe her, so she just let herself believe.

……………….

AN: next Hope, a Christy the traveler chapter.


	43. Hope 1 Part 1

500 Miles

Hope

By Princess Alexandria

The flashes of light and dark and the tumbling of her body always disoriented her, but Christy saw the opening and just darkness on the other side. She was tossed out of the portal with speed and stared at the ground she was being tossed at, no person stood there, just dirt. With a groan Christy slammed into the soft dirt and her body sunk down into the ground with the force of the landing. Spitting out dirt and pulling her arms out of the holes that had developed around them Christy struggled to kneel and look around.

Her hands, though dirty, shifted in front of her eyes. It made Christy smile with just a little hope, knowing that no double had been there to merge with. Maybe, just maybe she was finally home. The air smelled clean and the trees rustled in the soft wind. Christy looked around at the woods and noticed it wasn't New York, and it wasn't home. That didn't necessarily mean she wasn't on the world she wanted, Christy told herself, but after hoping so many times she didn't let herself hope too much.

As she stood up she turned and looked down. The soft dirt was in a familiar shape and a stone stood on one end, marking a grave. Christy stared in the fading early evening light and stared down at the tombstone, her stomach felt like she'd actually become ill as the words started to register in her mind.

Scratched into the stone were the words 'Emma Frost.' And below that someone in a different style had added another line. 'Christine Taylor.'

"Oh God." Christy managed to jump off of her own grave and to the side. Christy moved to the make shift headstone and reached out tentatively, letting her hand shift and caressing the name of her lover, seeing the way her fingers fit the lettering. This Christy had to bury her lover first, she just felt it, knew it without needing more proof. Christy felt a surge of empathic pain at the thought of what the only other pairing of a Christy and an Emma she'd seen had gone through. This wasn't a graveyard, Christy noticed as she looked around. She was in the woods, trees obscuring the sky enough for it to feel like it was starting to get dark. Christy stared back down at the tombstone. Christy caressed the stone and looked around at the woods, seeing what might be a road in the distance. This wasn't her world, but Christy couldn't shake the feeling that something was very painfully familiar here.

And who buried this world's Christine Taylor? And in the same grave? Christy stood up and enhanced her hearing, looking for any sign of other people, a hum of cars, anything. Her lips thinned into a grim line as she listened and heard nothing much. A picture of this world was forming in her mind already and she didn't like it.

As Christy walked toward the road her fists clenched. She was grateful to not have to deal with being trapped in someone else's body, but the reason why was horrible. She couldn't help but think about Raven, and how she'd feel if the woman died. She also felt bad that she was grateful it wasn't Raven, and Christy let herself think of this other Christy as a stranger, because she didn't have the time to mourn a friend.

Christy moved carefully toward the road as she got closer, looking for any hint of other people. The sign she found herself coming out of the woods near told her she was near Boston, not very near, but it was 50 miles away and the road was a freeway. No one was on it. The sick feeling grew as Christy with no other idea on what to do moved to walk along the side of the woods towards Boston. She knew better than to expose herself too much by using the road. Her hearing was turned up and her own footsteps were loud to her ears, but she didn't want anyone sneaking up on her. When the sky darkened a bit more Christy risked stepping out onto the freeway and stared up at the sky. She knew it was there, somewhere it was out there.

Her eyes found it and she just stared, not hearing anything as all of her senses numbed. All she was aware of was the streak of light in the sky coming towards this world. It would get bigger, she remembered it bigger, but it was there. An asteroid.

Christy didn't know how long she stared, but it was fully dark when she heard something and had to tear her eyes away and stare at the edge of the woods, searching for the source of that crack of a twig. Her hearing amplified again and Christy moved as smoothly as she could for the woods a little to the left of the sound she could now clearly hear, the breathing, the rustle of the leaves being pushed aside. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the shadow.

"You're in our territory." A cold voice spoke before Christy could get to cover, and it held clear threat to it.

"I don't even understand what you're talking about." Christy said as she turned to see the shape in the shadows step out into the road, the moon and the asteroid lending just enough light to see it was a woman. "But I'm not here to cause trouble."

"Christine?" The voice sounded stunned for a moment and then the woman stepped further out into the light of the moon, asteroid and stars. Christy stared at a thin but not yet starving Mystique. "Christine?" The woman moved forward and had her arms wrapped around her and holding her tightly. "I thought you died, did you solidify again? I'm so sorry I left." Mystique spoke softer, "I'm so sorry she died honey."

Christy froze as she found herself being hugged. At least this Mystique was a friend, but there were still so many holes in her knowledge, Christy wasn't going to be able to fake this and she hated to tell the woman now staring at her that she wasn't her Christine.

"I'm from a different world." She spoke softly and watched the myriad of emotions cross Mystique's face, disappointment, pain, disbelief, and a resigned sadness.

"Well you picked the wrong planet to crash." Mystique glanced up at the sky. "The wrong planet." She sounded like she'd heard of this before.

"Was she from somewhere else too?" Christy asked quietly.

Mystique said, her voice flat and unemotional. "I guess you can come with me. It isn't like there are many of us left." The older shape shifter then turned and started to walk into the woods. Christy followed quietly, her mind racing with questions, but she stayed quiet. They must have walked through darkened woods for ten minutes before Mystique spoke again. "This planet is about to die and we'll die with it." It was a familiar situation and Christy still felt her heart freeze at the idea. "Things are rather scarce now, but Christine, our Christine, she knew what to do. We hoarded supplies and we guard them well until that last attack, where Emma died." Silence filled the air and Christy didn't interrupt it. This was a nightmare and she hated that these people had to live it too. Wasn't one dead world enough? "You Christine's have lousy luck you know that? She came from another asteroid world five years ago, only to die on this one."

"I've been there and done this too." Christy said quietly and sighed. "How long?"

"Month and a half." Mystique answered just as resigned as Christy remembered being. Christy nodded and wondered if that was enough time to fully recharge, or if she'd need to be rather proactive in getting deaths to recharge from. A disgusted look crossed her face as she considered that she was now going to have to be that predator Selene had asked about.

"How is the food supply?" Christy said as they stepped into a small clearing and she noticed the fire.

"Momma?" A southern voice spoke and Christy looked across the fire to see Rogue. "Ah know you said she died."

"This is a new one." Mystique sighed. "Christine, this is my daughter Rogue."

"I go by Christy." She gave a small grimacing like smile to Rogue.

"Well we got a lot to talk about," Mystique sat down on a log, "so you might as well sit."

…………….

"Alright." Mystique sighed heavily and leaned forward. Christy mimicked her pose for the conversation. "Christine Taylor appeared in this world five years ago. She fell onto the lawn of Emma Frost's school. I wasn't there, but I heard she was skittish and in shock. Emma took her in, and it wasn't until a few weeks later that Christine quietly told her what had happened to her. Christine had no idea how she got here from being about to die, maybe it was some natural occurrence or some powerful beings intervention." Christy stared as Mystique tried to guess as to the how, and realized that this Christine never realized she had that power. She also realized that Mystique was more thrown by her doubles death than it appeared or she'd be putting together the fact that Christy clearly was familiar with the portal. "When Christine started to exhibit her powers Emma contacted me to tutor her in how to shape shift."

"You worked with Emma here?" Christy asked quietly, trying to grasp the differences in the worlds.

"The Brotherhood has had some dealings with the Hellfire club in the past." Christy's jaw clenched at that club's name for a moment. "It was a trade. Emma would work with Rogue to try and control her powers and I'd work with Christine." Christy stared at Mystique and could see the mask of no emotions on the woman's face. "When the news came about the asteroid Christine retreated into her mind and was catatonic for a day. Emma struggled to try and break her out of it but without being able to use her telepathy it was hard, and while she was doing this she was also trying to comfort her students, and working to get more details than the news had. She called me and had me and my team come to her school."

Silence filled in the gap and Christy didn't speak. She was too busy putting pieces together and giving Mystique enough fake privacy to wipe some tears off of her face. She noticed that Rogue had wrapped herself up in a blanket on the other side of the fire and was either asleep or pretending to be. When she noticed Mystique needed more time she did start talking.

"I was living in a doomed world too. The portal took me to another and I made a life there." Christy stared into the fire. "A good life." Her voice was a little shaky. "I learned my powers, and I learned how to create those portals at will." She could feel and hear Mystique had turned to stare at her. "Yeah, I make those portals."

"You mean Christine…" Mystique sounded stunned.

"Had the power to leave and didn't know it?" Christy finished the sentence and clenched her fists. "Yeah. I can't seem to get control of how to pick my destinations, but I ought to be able to jump ship before it hits here, if I power up enough." Christy looked across the fire to Rogue laying there and her tension started to fade. "I've never tried to take anyone through with me before. I've used it to banish a few people in a fight, to kill, but I've never used it with other people." She turned her head and looked at Mystique. "I want to try." A tear trailed down her own cheek as she remembered the people that died on her own world, people she had no idea she had the power to help. Maybe this time she could really help.

"We have about twenty people with us." Mystique looked a little stunned. "Or are you talking the planet?"

"I can't save everyone." Christy leaned a little closer. "I really can't." People had to die for her to leave. This was the hard part of her powers and Christy wasn't happy with the reminder of how it worked. She glanced over at Rogue. "Can we take a little walk?" she spoke quietly. Mystique caught on quickly because in five minutes they had privacy.

"What is it?" Mystique asked her, sounding commanding, as they stood in the dark woods with the fire in the distance.

"My portal is powered by death. I feel some going on out there, but if I want to have enough power before the asteroid hits I need," Christy sighed heavily. "You have any enemies you want to kill now?" She asked and watched as Mystique took on a grim expression. "I can wait, but everyone else can't. The asteroid won't kill me."

"I'll leave someone in charge of our home base." Mystique told her. "And I'll show you where the other camps with other people are." Mystique shook her head. "We have some weapons and we can get more from the dead."

"I'm sorry." Christy told her softly, hating that she was going to hunt again.

"No, if this is a chance to actually live," Mystique smiled a little. "It's a little hard to accept that we have a chance. After the xmen and fantastic four disappeared trying to take care of the asteroid, well, our chances looked pretty slim." Mystique sighed. "Kill a few flatscans and live for tomorrow. I guess we can just not tell the others how you power up."

"Actually," Christy was hesitant to say this. "Dying mutants give me more power." That earned her a rather dirty look. "But I don't want to kill your own people. It's just with the population already so depleted, this is not gonna be done naturally." Christy shook her head. "I really didn't want to have to kill again." Her voice cracked. "Your food supplies are good?" She asked hesitantly.

"You had to resort to that in your world?" Mystique sounded a bit stunned. "No, we have enough. Still do with how many died in that last battle with our neighbors. I'd like to start with them. One of them killed Emma, and she didn't die quickly. When Christine and I got back and found her." Mystique stopped talking. "Christine just stopped living. She stood over the grave of her lover and just melted away. Her eyes were so dead, and she just kissed me and melted away."

"You loved her." Christy whispered as she took in the shaking shoulders of someone who should be numb to death by now.

"Tomorrow we'll finish the walk back to our base and I'll arrange for the two of us to take off. I don't think we should tell anyone about this until you've powered up, in case someone objects to what we have to do, what you have to do, to save us." Mystique said, not answering the comment Christy made. Christy nodded and walked back to the fire with Mystique in quiet distraction. So she could die the way she was, she could just will it to happen. "I think I can trust you with the location."

As she laid down, she thought out like she used to with Raven, in their way of communicating. "I'm glad I didn't take you with me Raven. I don't ever want to drag you down and what I have to do now…" She sighed as she resigned herself to the fact that in a day or two Christy would be hunting again.

…………………

"Let's not tell the others about Christine." Mystique spoke quietly to Rogue and Christy. "We'll be off on a mission, so if you can pretend for a few hours they will at least feel like one of their matriarchs lived."

"Yeah, Okay." It made sense to Christy to keep moral up. Rogue seemed to understand that as well, because she just sighed and nodded. "Why isn't she buried closer to the camp?" Christy asked, knowing she hadn't heard a camp nearby when she arrived.

"She's buried, they're buried, where Emma proposed." Mystique spoke and Christy found her heart stopping and her eyes tearing, so she just looked away. It was a quiet walk after that, where Christy did her best to contain her pain at that thought. She squashed the small part of her own mind that said her own Emma hadn't proposed yet.

With her enhanced hearing Christy heard the sounds of people before they stepped out of the woods, to see a partly burned mansion with people on the trampled down lawn. Most of the people were young, younger than Christy. Quite a few looked to be students, and Christy suddenly understood why this Emma had died. Most of the Emma's that she'd met would have fought until the end to protect her students.

"Mrs Frost-Taylor." A young voice spoke and Christy froze, knowing that the marriage happened was still not enough to prepare her to hear that name. "I'm so sorry about your loss." Christy turned wide eyes to look at Mystique after the well wisher walked away.

Mystique spoke quietly as they continued their trek to the house. "Just nod and be unresponsive to all but what you absolutely have to respond to and you'll pass. After we found the body she just shut down."

Christy just walked through the small camp and nodded occasionally at people. She let her tears fall as they fit what pain she'd feel in these shoes for real and said nothing. She took in some familiar faces, but dark and haunted ones, that she'd never seen in person but she'd seen pictures of. The Hellions were alive here, and it made Christy wonder when in time this was. She didn't ask who all was here and did her best to not appear surprised as she made it through them and into the mansion, following Mystique. She'd also noticed a small scattering of Xmen, and other faces that weren't familiar at all. Now it made sense why they weren't explaining their mission before leaving, because even this close to death Christy wasn't sure Kitty or Kurt would agree to killing people a few weeks earlier than they would have died for a ticket out, and even if they agreed, it was a burden that would haunt them.

……………….

The room she was lead to was an office with a fireplace. Christy found herself looking around at the set up, the pictures on the mantel and she knew it wasn't her doubles office. This place screamed Emma and it wasn't comfortable to be there. The door clicked closed behind her as Mystique closed it, giving them some privacy. "You any good with a gun?" Mystique asked her and Christy just sighed and turned to give Mystique a look. "Silly question I see." Mystique said and moved toward a closet. "We've got plenty of ammo to get us started and I've mapped out the surrounding area so I know where the other survivors are." Mystique pulled out a few guns from the closet and ammo, so Christy moved to take some from her and set it down on the couch. The office was large and could spare that space.

"You do know I'll try to control where we go, but I've been having trouble with that." Christy spoke softly about her portal. "I've been lost for 10 months trying to get home."

"I'd rather land in the middle of world war three than stay here." Mystique stopped and turned to face Christy. "Even in that type of hell there is hope of survival. That hopes been gone from this place for a while. I like how it feels to have it back."

"Okay, as long as you understand I can't promise paradise." Christy studied a gun and swallowed hard to push her pain away. She understood too well. "So it's just you and I?" Christy asked as she looked over the weapons, picking out what she'd prefer to have in her mind in case she got to chose.

"Safer that way. The others might be either a little too moral or too young and inexperienced." Mystique checked the chamber in one gun and then pulled a holster on.

Christy watched as Mystique put it on and just stared as Mystique adjusted the straps. This was wrong. "You can't shift?" Her words were a little stunned and Mystique grimaced at her while putting the gun in the holster.

"No I can't. Government didn't want the mutants living longer than anyone else. There's a power dampener in orbit, their last fuck you before they die. They want to make sure we go with them." Mystique picked up a knife and slid it into a boot sheath. "Christine was the only one with powers that worked after that thing went up. How else do you think they managed to kill Emma? She was too powerful a telepath to be taken out by surprise and that's what they did."

Christy picked up a gun and shifted a holster onto her own body as she loaded it and slammed it into place. Her eyes were cold and her movements practiced and she considered a world that would prefer no hope to mutant help. The bigotry here was the extreme and hunting got a little easier knowing that. She'd found her motivation, what she could hold onto as she pulled the trigger.

"Do you have any grenades or bombs?" Christy asked as they finished storing ammo on their bodies. "We don't need tidy kills, just kills." It was different than hunting in that she didn't need to preserve the bodies.

"Small problem with that General." Mystique pulled out a box and stared down into it. "This is all I have left. If we want more we need to take out one of the army camps the hard way and pick through their leftovers."

"What is with you and crappy nicknames." Christy muttered, remembering her own Mystique as she looked at what they had. "Well, I guess this will have to do for now. We leaving the others enough to protect themselves?"

"Yeah, this is just my stash." Mystique started to pull grenades out of the box.

"You'll have to teach me how to use those." Christy told her and stood up, walking towards the mantel and the pictures as she waited.

Emma looked so beautiful in a wedding dress, and of course in spite of her past exploits it was white. To think this woman had died hard was hard to accept, but Christy shut her pain down and reminded herself to do fast kills and leave the judgment to the afterlife. Hopefully Mystique would remember that as well. Christy didn't want to bury the double of her best friend and she wasn't sure how much Mystique relied on her powers to get out of situations.

…………………

They'd stayed only a couple hours before heading out. The walk was a quiet one and Christy didn't interrupt the silence as she followed Mystique through neighborhoods and past a small shopping center that looked just as raided as the ones home had. Her eyes followed Mystique's movements and studied her body, not liking how thin and harsh the blue woman looked.

Finally they stopped for a break outside of an abandoned bank. "Wanna make a withdrawal?" Christy said distractedly as she studied the bank from their seat on the bench outside. "Idiots, it looks like someone already broke in." she shook her head at people not understanding that money itself had no real value, it was what you could buy with it, and in a world like that it was worth nothing at all.

"In the worlds that you've visited, was the money always the same?" Mystique asked as the woman took off a boot and rubbed her aching feet. Christy glanced at the blue foot, noticing the blisters. Mystique really wasn't the same without her powers.

"I hadn't really noticed that." Christy's eyebrows drew together as she considered the money she'd handled. "The American money was all the same." She realized.

"In a new world we're going to need to get established." Mystique put her boot back on and moved to remove her other boot. "How much can we bring with us?"

"I don't know." Christy nibbled on her lip as she considered that. "I think you'd better travel light, because this is my first time caring if the other people in the portal live." Still Mystique made sense. "Perhaps two carry ons?" She gave Mystique a small smile. "It's not the airlines, but you all do need supplies. You just have to be ruthless about cutting stuff out. I'd say safer to have one bag a piece. People will need to be able to hold on to each other. We want to make sure they all land in the same world, and I've had trouble with that. I can't focus for long."

"Backpacks." Mystique muttered, clearly thinking out loud. "And maybe a few withdrawals from the banks." Christy just leaned forward and rested for a moment and let Mystique plan her people's future. The woman would plan well.

They didn't leave that area until they had found some backpacks in a nearby store and filled them with large bills from the bank. They left the backpacks in the bank, to be picked up later. Christy wouldn't have even thought of this.

…………………

When night fell they'd found their way to an abandoned hotel. They could have had their own rooms, but Christy said nothing when Mystique followed her into the same one. It had two beds and in the nearly dark Christy used her powers to enhance her eyes. She was able to see Mystique still managing to do well enough moving around in the dark, taking a trip to the bathroom, even though they had one candle and it wasn't lit yet. Christy took care of that after she'd double checked how thick the curtains were, so they wouldn't be advertising their presence.

It wasn't a bad place for the night.

Aside from telling Christy that they were almost in enemy territory, they didn't talk much before going to bed. There was tension, and Christy just sighed as she rolled over onto her side to stare at Mystique sleeping. Looking like a woman that recently died wasn't making this any easier on Mystique. Maybe tomorrow Christy would change her look a little. At least her hair could be cut. There had been too many searching looks cast on Christy today for her not to feel like her appearance was a problem.

When Christy pulled her sheet tighter to her body her mind spoke out again, Raven, I hope you are okay, she thought towards a double that couldn't hear her anymore. Then her mind drifted to her Emma, and she hated the way her mind raced when she thought about her lover, and all the problems she'd need to face when she got home. She was going to make it home though, she had to.

Christy needed help and she didn't have anyone to ask. Perhaps she should have stayed in that first world with the ruined New York for longer. That Emma had been helpful in making Christy understand her powers better, that Emma would have been a good person to help train Christy.

"Sleep." Mystique's weary voice interrupted her. "I know you don't breathe when you sleep, and we need a good rest for tomorrow."

"Sorry." Christy muttered and worked to try and sleep while she could. Her mind made it difficult by latching on to the fact that Mystique clearly knew her double well enough. They were like a team apparently. "I really am sorry." Christy whispered into the darkness her voice softer as she meant something else. She was sorry for Mystique's loss, her pain, and that Christy was just prolonging it by existing here.

………………

"They tortured her." Mystique spoke quietly as they stared down at the camp and the people moving around. "I think that hurt Christine more than anything, even Emma's death, realizing that her lover's last moments were hell." Christy flinched as she heard that. "I want them to suffer."

Christy took a deep breath and looked at the people she was here to kill. "Suffering takes more time. We might lose control of the situation. We don't even know who did it." She turned to look at how Mystique stared at the camp, the hate in her eyes. "Getting you killed won't help anyone."

"She didn't even want to seek vengeance; she just wrapped Emma up carefully and wanted to take her to her grave." Mystique shook her head, not understanding that.

"You really want vengeance?" Christy looked over at the people as she considered that Mystique would seek it with or without her. "Pick a target and we'll leave him alive until the end." She offered.

"I want that man." Mystique pointed to a large man stepping out of what they'd determined was the central office. "He's in charge. He threatened us before and I believe he planned that attack. He probably killed Emma. I need to do this for Christine. It's the least I owe her." Christy sighed as this would mean a more difficult mission. They needed to plan this one carefully.

They watched the camp and planned quietly for hours. Christy almost felt like she'd never left her home world as she stared at people knowing she was going to kill them. She even found herself starting to think of them as food, which was a thought she had to push away.

That night Christy stared down at the silencer on her gun and then up at the asteroid. "Here we are again." She spoke to it as she waited for Mystique to come back from her scouting mission. She stared down at the dead woman at her feet and squatted down to study her face and body one last time. "Too bad I didn't have powers last time." She told the asteroid as she started to shift. "But you won't get me this time either." She stood up in her new taller and thinner form and glared at the asteroid. "No fucking celestial marble is taking me out."

"Nice trash talking to the asteroid. You gonna wrestle it now?" Mystique's voice drew Christy's attention to the woods around her and it was amazing how well blue skill blended into the night. Mystique was nearly on her before she was visible to normal vision. Christy hadn't enhanced hers yet.

"You can't tell me you haven't yelled at it." Christy bent down to start and hide the body.

"We may have had a few discussions. It drives a hard bargain, I hadn't managed to convince it to change course." Mystique sighed. "I can't pass for one of them, so I'll be moving slow and sneaky."

"I know, we already talked about it." Christy stood up, still a little nervous even with her powers. "So how about we do this."

"Christy." Mystique spoke slowly. 

"I know, no survivors. I know." Christy took a shaky breath as she considered what that meant. "Absolutely none."

The camp was quiet in the middle of the night, with small fires in cans here and there and a few night guards. Christy nodded to one as if she belonged as she walked past him and up the steps in her stolen form. She stopped on the top floor and moved to the apartment that they'd seen the leader had. It wasn't locked. She hadn't expected it to be, because she remembered how keys were a problem in her world. She pulled out a smaller gun out she shot at the man rolling over in the bed, hitting him with three darts before walking closer to him.

Checking the room carefully for other people she found none. "Lonely at the top? I remember that." She muttered as she tied him up with his sheets and stuffed a pillow case in his mouth. "If you were smart you'd die while I'm out." She didn't kill him though, because if what Mystique believed was true he did deserve what he would get.

She slipped out and continued on with a different gun. Her heart hammered for a few beats and then just stopped altogether as she slipped into yet another apartment. Two shots later and a power surge that let her know they'd been fatal shots she slipped back out and continued her murderous trip across the third floor of the apartment building.

It was the fifth apartment that nearly made her cry. The bullet went through the child's head right before he could cry out and Christy gasped as if she'd run a marathon as she leaned forward and did what she could to not be sick on the floor. Tears trailed down her face as it registered that she'd actually shot a child.

It took her a few shaky breaths as she studied the room, unable to look at his body, before she could move on. She couldn't take a kid with her and couldn't leave one behind to draw attention to her. She hated her practical side, and herself, as she realized that if there were another kid here she might have to shoot one again. As she made her way to the next apartment she tried to convince herself that leaving a child alone to die by asteroid was crueler, but it wasn't a convincing argument. She prayed before each apartment that there were no kids inside before she opened the door after that.

Mystique was probably not moving as quickly, but some first floor people were dying, Christy could feel it. Mystique had to be much more covert in her trips in and out of rooms.

It was the shift change that rang the alarm. Christy was just coming out of an apartment when she saw someone else run out from one she'd already visited. She turned to aim at him, but he managed to yell before the bullet hit him. "Shit." She muttered as she rushed to the downed man so that it wasn't too suspicious, gambling that she'd buy a few more minutes. A few doors opened and people rushed out while Christy pretended to check his pulse and looked out across the street. "Sniper." Was all she said and then she moved as if avoiding one, making the others rush back into their apartments.

Christy did not want to be trapped on the third floor when the rest of hell broke loose. She took that moment to reload her gun as well.

…………………..

"Aw Shit." Christy swore as she dove over the railing firing round after round at the men shooting at Mystique. Mystique was already taking out what she could from the roof of the clubhouse and these men were working to take the sniper out having found the weakness in her location. Bullets hit Christy by the dozen as she fired at and killed the more clever small group. Other members of this tribe ran around screaming, some shooting, some giving orders, and many falling down dead.

In a move that had many screaming Christy walked right at another group of them while they shot her. Her body jerked back a bit with every hit, but her guns kept firing. She was like the Terminator, she thought distractedly as she killed another person with a distracted shot to the side.

The ground was littered with the dead and Christy shot down at one playing possum as she walked over him.

A bullet went right through her from above and Christy looked up to see Mystique had done it, right before she felt the death behind her. "Nice, don't even ask if you can shoot me." She muttered quietly as if her partner could hear her.

The bullets slowed down and Christy felt like she was just picking off the remaining people. Mystique rolled off the roof and moved to walk along side her. "Some ran, I got a few in the back but I think this camp is mostly cleared out. Still be careful." They moved back to going through the apartments and Christy said nothing as they found a few more people that had hidden rather than join the fight. They found a room with more children and Christy froze as she saw them. The mother rushed toward her and a gun went off as Mystique shot her.

"I can't." Christy turned to look at Mystique while the oldest child whimpered and cried. His brother was too confused to understand. Mystique held out her gun again, but it started to shake before the blue woman lowered it as well. Their no survivors rule was already in doubt.

"With no one to take care of them they'll starve to death before the asteroid hits." Mystique spoke and Christy's arm shook as she raised it. The loud bang made her flinch, and the follow up from beside her had her flinching again. Two children fell backwards and stopped moving.

"I've never killed children before." Her voice cracked and Mystique rested a hand on her shoulder. "I wish I had more power, enough to hold the portal opened longer."

"You said you can't save everyone." Mystique tried to wipe some tears off of her own face subtly and Christy pretended she didn't see them. "It's just life and death. It's the way it is."

They were very quiet after that, and once the camp truly was dead, except for one man tied up on the third floor they just stopped and stood in silence. Mystique finally wrapped an arm around Christy and held her as they stood there with the stink of blood in the air. They stood that way for a while, until they heard a man scream.

"Guess he woke up and got that gag out of his mouth." Christy muttered and then sighed heavily. "You still want to do this?" She really wasn't in the mood for torture.

"Oh Yeah." Mystique's voice was cold and the woman pulled away, depriving Christy of the heat of her body. It wasn't until then that it even registered to Christy that this Mystique was treating her like her own did, like a cherished and perhaps more than platonically loved friend. The battle brought them closer, hopefully when Mystique realized what she was doing and that Christy wasn't Christine it wouldn't cause tension.

The one live man in the apartment screamed when Christy walked into his apartment looking like Emma. It made him look rather guilty. Mystique followed her in and Christy just smirked at him and stood in Emma's traditional way, a hip thrust out as Mystique methodically did some of what he or his people had done to Emma to him, and Christy was sickened to hear more details of what the blonde had gone through. It didn't last long because they were both tired, but he didn't die easy. Once he was dead Christy shifted back and let out a breath. "Let's get out of here."

…………………..

"Are you feeling more powered up?" Mystique asked from her bed in the hotel room they'd slipped into for the day. It wasn't dark but the drapes did a very good job of keeping it dark inside.

"Some." Christy stared up at the ceiling instead of looking at Mystique. "Sick isn't it? My powers?" She could still see tiny bodies falling to the ground after she killed them.

"You don't normally have to do this, right?" Mystique's voice was softer. "So in a normal world you just power up naturally?"

"Yeah, if I tried hard I could do it in two weeks at home, the place I call home now." Christy thought of the training she and Emma did with Christy's powers.

"So it isn't so gruesome, and I'm not about to curse my only ticket out of here." Christy could hear Mystique turning to face her so Christy turned as well. Mystique looked sympathetic. "They all are on death row Christy, and until you arrived we all were as well." Christy gave Mystique a weak smile that lasted only a moment, to acknowledge the kindness.

"I want some grenades and bombs." Christy rolled onto her back again. "I don't want to have to look into their little eyes as I pull the trigger again. It's selfish, I know, but I have so many nightmares already. I don't need these new ones."

"I've never shot a child before either." Mystique told her quietly and Christy grimaced.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed?" Christy asked quietly after a moment. "I just, I could use," Her words trailed off. "My Mystique is my best friend." She admitted quietly. A bed creaked and Christy noticed the blue woman out of the corner of her eye.

"Scoot over." Mystique sounded a little vulnerable. "My Christine was my best friend too."

………….

It was three weeks, three weeks of hell that would inspire new nightmares, but Christy felt her power and knew it she finally had enough. That was good because they were getting further and further from home base and they needed to make their way back. She stepped over the dead man and picked up his gun as she moved toward the door. "We could start back, it's enough."

"We might need a cart to bring some things back." Mystique followed her, walking more carefully. On the last mission Mystique had managed to get shot and while they did what they could for her leg, it was still going to take time to heal.

On their way back Christy would have to help Mystique while talking about the various supplies Mystique had squirreled away as they went. The trip back might take a week normally, but this could slow them down. Mystique had stashes of cash, jewelry and gems. She also had more ammo in case the new world wasn't all that great, but Christy was going to do her damnedest to find a world at peace. These people deserved that.

"You want me to play horse don't you?" Christy smiled just a little, imagining Mystique strapping her to the cart. It would be a way to speed it up. Christy had more endurance, that was just the way it was. "Sometimes it doesn't pay to be the strong one."

"Well, if the feedbag fits." Mystique teased and they did their best to maintain the jokes and pretend everything was okay as they walked away from the dead. Christy did notice that Mystique was leaning on her more than just so they could be friendly, she was having trouble walking.

They were back at the hotel they were currently using and Christy showered first. This was almost a ritual now, they left the dead talking a little then the trip back was in silence and they didn't speak again until they both showered. They would talk quietly in a darkened room and then take a nap, sometimes in separate beds, sometimes in the same one depending on how difficult the day had been.

"Any ideas on what we'll tell the others about my sudden power to save them?" Christy asked as she heard the bathroom door open later as Mystique started to move for her bed. Christy's eyes moved to the bandages on Mystique's leg and knew that it would be best to leave soon, just in case that became infected. It would be nice to have actual medical help, Christy needed to find a world that would give that to an obvious mutant.

"The truth, that you're not from around here and you have the power to create portals. They don't need to know what made that possible." Mystique said as she moved to sit on the other bed.

……………

Four days later Christy turned from her place pulling the cart to glare at Mystique. "Call me horsey one more time and I'm gonna pull over." She spoke in a fake parental warning tone. The cart resembled a poor copy of the old west wagons and was filled with fifteen backpacks and Mystique. Christy was letting Mystique rest and with what the woman must weigh now it wasn't really making her job harder.

"Too bad I don't have a horse whip." Mystique teased and Christy's body tensed.

"Don't even joke about that." She spoke sharply, turning away and continued to pull the cart along the freeway.

"Christy?" Mystique spoke more seriously and softer.

"The last world I was in wasn't a cake walk. Being whipped isn't a joking matter." Christy gritted her teeth and focused on moving smoothly forward. This was a little slower than normal walking but if she kept a count in her head of how fast her pace should be she managed to not get distracted and slow down.

"I'm sorry." Mystique sighed. "I guess your luck ran out before you got here?"

"You could say that." Christy thought of Raven and missed her. "You gonna pull tomorrow?" She asked and listened to Mystique's soft laugh at the idea.

"You know I'd do the touchy feeling thing for you, but we're not really set up for that now." Mystique finally spoke and Christy relaxed a little more as she realized Mystique wouldn't push now. It wasn't a good idea to talk about anything too emotional while you're trying to stay aware of your surroundings. Mystique clearly knew that.

"That's fine. Don't feel like talking now, what I want is a break and a real horse."

"Sorry, I think people ate all of those." Mystique shifted in her seat. "But we could pull off the road here and rest."

"Like you need a rest?" Christy turned off the freeway and moved closer to the trees for cover.

"I am covering us." Mystique spoke up.

"Yeah." Christy rolled her neck as she put the bar she used to push with down. She rolled her shoulders and felt her body take care of what soreness managed to exist. "Well you got the map?" She took it when it was handed to her and tried to see their progress. It was strange how large the world looked when you didn't have a car, she thought as she looked at the progress made that day and what they had left to go. "We aren't making it today and I don't think we'll make it tomorrow."

"I can help push for a while after break." Mystique offered and Christy waved it away.

"Don't worry about it. I can't pull and watch for danger at the same time very well. You're freeing me up to concentrate on being a pack mule. There is more to it than I thought."

………………

"What?" A voice called out in the stunned silence and Christy just stood still and stared at Mystique rather than the other people staring at her. "You mean it?"

"Yes, we can live." Mystique smiled and seemed to be attempting to look each of her people in the eye. "Christy can get us out of here." They'd returned a couple of hours ago and Mystique had this meeting called after Christy and Mystique managed to clean up and pile the new supplies up by type for redistribution. "I don't want to drag this out, so we're planning to leave in the morning. We can't bring much with us. In order to start a new life we've," Mystique motioned to Christy, "been out picking up supplies we can use as currency and a few other items. We'll give everyone one partially filled backpack with these items and the rest of the space is all you have for personal items. I know it's tempting to load up everything you care about, but we can't tax Christy's power like that. What she's offered is already going to push her to her limits." Or beyond, Christy thought quietly to herself.

"Where will we go?" Christy looked over at the Hellion that asked and sighed.

"I don't know." Christy answered herself. "I don't have a lot of control yet, I'm trying. If I had more control I never would have come here and lived through this again." Her voice was even and honest. "I'll try to aim for something good, but it might just be climbing out of the fire and back into the frying pan." She could see a few people nodding, somber expressions on their faces and got the impression they all felt like Mystique. Any hope at all was better. Christy wasn't even going to try for home this time, because these last few attempts had been getting worse and worse. She didn't want to risk it with other people.

"And you're not Christine." Another voice, this time it was Kitty. This Kitty sure was a lot more serious and somber than the last she'd met. If it weren't for the reasons that made that happen Christy would have found it an improvement.

"No. She couldn't bear life without her Emma." Christy admitted quietly. "They're together on the other side."

There was silence and Christy was somewhat comforted to see that her double was missed and even the good news didn't lessen that. It was Mystique that interrupted it after it lasted for a while. "I need volunteers to divide up the supplies evenly and repack the backpacks. They can then distribute the bags to others for their own supplies." A few nodded and moved toward the mansion. "Let's get some sleep." Mystique spoke quietly to Christy.

……………….

"Okay, one more thing." Christy spoke loudly over the excited group that was pulling on their backpacks. "You're all might be shot at high speed towards my double." She studied the group. "She might not even have a clue what's going on. I've never managed to not hit one. For me it works out but a dogpile like this could really hurt someone." She had only remembered this as she started to consider a good spot to create the portal.

"I can go first fraulin." Kurt said. "I can try and turn us away from her."

"He could, he's very acrobatic." Mystique spoke quietly. "And if all else fails he can teleport the first few." Christy nodded. The others started to work on an order for the line and Christy turned to Mystique.

"I have to go last. Can you go with me and try and make sure I don't hit my double? I'm not as graceful as you are, even hurt, and merging with a double causes problems."

"I want to go last anyhow, to make sure everything runs smoothly." Mystique didn't respond to Christy's opening for teasing. She was actually pretty tense. Christy sighed and just picked up a backpack of her own. This was one idea that she was going to try and remember, bringing things to help was just smart. Too bad she hadn't considered it herself.

A sound of trees rustling made Christy tense up and turn to face them. "Ambush?" Christy asked just as bullets started to shoot at them. Some poorer group was after their supplies, but they didn't need them anymore. These attacks were relatively normal for here, but the timing was horrible. No one was prepared.

"Grab what you can and go!" Mystique yelled loudly and picked up a gun to fire back. Mystique stared right at her. "Get them out of here." Christy didn't look away for a moment looking into desperate eyes and then she did.

"Move it people, we need a line. Here we go." She ordered, before pulling in a deep breath and screaming. The others were rushing to link up hands and Christy was surprised at the lack of fear Kurt showed by running right into the portal. Christy couldn't focus and fight at the same time this time, she lowered her gun and felt bullets rip through her as she focused on peace and coexistence and a world that was welcoming and helpful. A world like that probably didn't exist, but maybe she'd get one of the criteria. As the line moved in Christy walked along with the last person, Mystique backing up with her slowly.

Christy reached out to take Kitty's hand and turned to reach for Mystique as they approached the portal, but her minds eye saw it first, as she heard the bombarding bullets hitting nearby Mystique's body jerked several times and then she started to fall.

"No." Christy let go of Kitty, who was being pulled by the others. Kitty looked like she'd let go to. "Stay with them." Christy ordered as she took several steps back to pick Mystique up.

"Hold on." Christy whispered as she struggled with her thoughts, to control them. Christy ran up to the portal, but she was too late to grab Kitty's outstretched and disappearing hand.

Christy stared at the empty portal for a moment in shock, before looking down at Mystique, knowing she wouldn't be able to hit the same place. Christy's expression hardened and she refocused her thoughts as Mystique's body shuddered in her arms and blood ran down Christy's body from her friend.

Christy jumped into the portal with bullets following her and focused on one thing, "Help." She called out as she clung to Mystique's body, hoping the woman could make it to medical help in time.


	44. Hope 1 Part 2

500 Miles

Hope

By Princess Alexandria

Christy held on tight as the portal shifted around her, worried about the landing as well. Mystique was unconscious and hurt, Christy had to try and land well. The opening appeared and Christy gritted her teeth as they were tossed out towards green grass, trees, and a few people. They were aimed at one in particular, so Christy did all she could, she yelled, "Watch out!" as fast and loud as she could while turning her body to absorb the blow instead of Mystique.

She slammed into something hard and unyielding. Her head cracked painfully against it. "Help." She spoke as she was slowly loosening her hold on Mystique. She didn't even bother looking up as she laid the woman down carefully on the ground. "She's been shot."

"Christy, what's going on?" A young voice spoke and Christy looked up, catching her double staring at her. The woman managed to dodge her. Christy then turned to glance at the others, her heart sinking. If her double wasn't a doctor, and it would be a shock if she were, they were screwed. A teenage Hispanic boy stared at her with a taller football jock type behind him also staring in shock. It was when her eyes met someone familiar that she felt some hope spark.

"Healer, please, my friend has been shot." Christy addressed the green girl.

"Help her Annie." Her double spoke without looking away. The woman was a bit pale and looked a little in shock, but she was clearly in charge.

"But Christy, who is that? Why does she look like you?" The Healer asked, while slowly moving towards her.

"I'll answer questions later, help Mystique." Christy's double spoke. "Just don't hurt yourself." That woman still hadn't addressed Christy, but Christy didn't care. She moved to the side to allow the Healer to work.

Christy stood and stared at Mystique as the Healer worked.

"She looks a bit thin." A steady voice spoke next to her and Christy didn't bother looking up at her double, who was taking this too well to not know about their powers.

"Asteroid world. They were rationing food rather strictly." Christy spoke quietly back, hearing the intake of breath. Yes this double knew a lot. How many damned asteroid worlds were there?

"I called for more help. People are on the way." The double told her, warned her. "They have a medlab." The Healer was holding her hands on Mystique and Mystique seemed to be in less pain, but with so much blood on her it was hard to see if anything was healing. "You're at Xavier's Institute."

"You aren't from around here are you?" Christy turned to look at the woman staring at Mystique with concern. Her double just stared at her a moment and then glanced at the children around them, clearly not willing to talk now. It felt surreal to stand next to a double like this. "Is Mystique going to be okay?" She asked the Healer a little more loudly when the girl paled a little and stopped touching the injured woman.

"Uh," The Healer looked stunned and confused as she stared at Christy. "I did what I could, but Dr. McCoy is going to have to remove a few bullets that stayed in, and her body is weak, too thin. I can't seem to do anything about that."

"She could make it though, right?" Christy pressed the girl, noticing how this one seemed to lack the confidence of the Healer that had saved her Emma's life.

There was a shout and rustling of trees. Christy turned to see Emma, Jean, and Hank running their way. This Emma was the first to see her and Christy felt a brush against her mind, but she didn't let it in. "Hank, we have an injured woman here." Emma called out and Christy moved closer to Mystique as she noticed the wide eyes and then the narrowing as the Doctor noticed the blue woman on the ground.

"Anything happens to her and you'll see hell before you die." Christy glared at the blue man.

"Oh my stars and garters." He stared at her and then looked to her side where this worlds Christy stood. "Ah, I assume this is an other dimensional Mystique?" He moved to kneel beside Mystique and Christy started to relax as he checked vitals.

He picked Mystique up and maintained eye contact with Christy for a moment. "I will do everything that I can to heal her." It was an oath and Christy nodded, but she still felt tense having him take Mystique away while Christy was clearly the center of attention and wasn't expected to follow. Her eyes moved over the people around her, noticing Scott had joined them along with Logan.

"Kids, why don't you guys go get some dinner." Her double spoke and then the teenagers erupted in dissent. Her double's voice hardened. "Dinner, that's an order." After another second of no motion. "You promised to follow orders if I ever gave them. We'll talk later, but I need you to leave now." Christy watched as the teens stopped grumbling and walked away. She noticed another teenage girl she hadn't noticed before with them, she stood close and then leaned into the jock boy like a lover. Christy just watched the teens walk away for a moment, before studying her double, and the others.

"Another one?" Scott asked and Christy got the impression he didn't like her already. She didn't give a damn. Christy turned to her double and finally addressed her fully.

"I'm Christy." She tilted her head and waited to see if this was another Raven. She was here after all, at the Institute.

"So am I." Her double spoke and Christy noticed that her double had moved a little closer to Emma. Finally a world where her double was alive and in love with an Emma. Christy stood still and glanced around, feeling exposed and nervous. She damned the Hellfire club for making her this way, she knew her nervousness was worse because of them. She used to see an Emma and trust that she'd get help, but that wasn't the case now.

"Where's Tessa?" She asked the blonde telepath quietly, waiting to see how this world treated Tessa as if it were a measure of their trustworthiness.

Emma's eyebrow rose a little, "She's out on a mission." Christy nodded, liking that answer better than if they'd wondered what she was talking about.

"Mystique is a criminal in this world." Scott spoke, his voice a challenge. "Are you and her criminals too?" Christy turned to stare at him and knew this man hated her double.

"I'm in law enforcement, security." She told him and glanced down the path Hank had taken Mystique. "She is from a different place than I am." Mystique was a terrorist, not something to admit to here. "She was an Xman." Close enough, she was working with the surviving ones after all. She'd just have to make sure to tell Mystique she was an Xman before anyone could ask. "I know you all probably have a lot of questions, but I'd really rather be with her right now."

"How did she get hurt?" Jean asked a little more gently, while moving to the side to allow Christy to start to walk. She took the opportunity and walked between the others toward the path, with Jean at her side. Emma and her double walked behind her and with the silence Christy bet they were telepathically talking, and the men were in the back.

"We were getting ready to leave her doomed planet when we were attacked. Mystique and I did our best to hold the attackers back while the others escaped, but she was shot. We lost the others." Christy sighed. "She's not going to like to hear that. I don't know where they ended up, but I do know I'll never be able to get her back to them." She shook her head in regret, knowing this would hurt. Mystique would need to create a new life on her own.

"What were you doing on her planet?" Logan asked and Christy glanced back to see Scott had been ready to say something else. Maybe that's why Logan spoke.

"I'm lost." Was all Christy said and then she noticed the woods opening up to a grass lawn and the large mansion in front of them. It reminded her of the first world she'd stopped at, she could see bits of the rubble she remembered as parts of the large building. This one hadn't been destroyed yet. "I can't seem to make a portal that actually goes home yet." She continued walking toward the large building.

She wasn't allowed in the medlab while Hank was working but she sat outside it with a quiet Logan while the others went to talk to the Professor. Christy didn't miss that her double had held her eyes a moment and nodded before leaving, making it clear that she was an ally against something. It was supposed to be comforting but it just made it very clear that there was a problem with safety here and her double thought she needed backup. She wondered how well her double was able to read her body language, because as she watched the woman walk away Christy could just see that this woman had seen hell of her own, by the way she walked. That was no teacher, that was a warrior.

…………………..

Christy was sitting on the chair, but had pulled her knees up to wrap her arms around them. Her backpack was laying on the ground beside her. She stared blankly at the wall while she kept her powers opened to make sure no one was dying nearby. While she felt Mystique had a good chance of living, because she knew that Healer did good work, she had nothing else to do.

The click click sound of footsteps coming down the hall was familiar and Christy blinked before turning her head to see Emma Frost walking towards her with the other Christy at her side. That Christy walked more silently. "Henry is just cleaning up. She came through the operation well." Emma told her and Christy just nodded while putting her feet back on the floor. "You should be able to see her soon."

"Good." Christy stared at how her double had some trouble looking at her, took in the shorter hair, it just came to her shoulders, and casual business attire that hadn't been there earlier. Christy then looked down at her own ragged military pants and shifted them into jeans and shifted on a nice blue top. She wasn't invading a camp today so she could dress a little nicer. When she looked back up Emma had an eyebrow raised and it looked like her own Emma after Christy had done something a little interesting. She gave the telepath a small smile.

"You asked if I was from around here." Her double spoke. "I'm not, but I don't tell the kids. There are circumstances that I just don't want to go into with them." It was slightly a warning and mostly an explanation. "You can stay here until you're ready to go on." Christy could see her double debating about saying something, and when she opened her mouth to speak a little more Christy paid even more attention. "Don't leave your Mystique here. No matter what the Professor says, don't trust him with her."

"I don't know that you need to worry about that." Emma spoke to her lover, and it was clear in the concern in her voice that they were lovers.

"I won't leave her." Christy told them both, she'd also be careful about watching Mystique's back. The medlab door opened and Hank stepped out, telling her a lot of detail but basically what Christy got out of it was that it would take time for Mystique to heal the rest of the way and that the shapeshifter was still unconscious but should wake soon.

"We'll talk later." Emma spoke gently and rested a hand on Christy's shoulder.

"Yeah," Christy sighed as she started for the door. She was still cautious, so she enhanced her hearing as she stepped into the room with Mystique. She could hear the shapeshifter's every breath, the beeps of the monitors, and the discussion in the hall. Hank had left for his office, which Christy could hear through the wall and knew that she was most likely visible to him, but he was giving her some privacy with Mystique. She stared at Mystique and listened to the hallway.

"Did you look like that when you came to this world?" Emma's voice spoke gently, more obviously lovingly.

"Probably worse. I was in shock for a while, she looks like she'll bounce back pretty quickly." The Double said and Christy sat down next to Mystique's bed. "Did you hear what she said about Mystique not being from her world? That means she's been jumping, probably a lot."

"She's closed off to me like you used to be." Emma's voice was like her own Emma's and it made it hard to hear that tender tone. Not even the one Emma she met that was in a relationship had talked with her lover, Scott, like that. "Do you think she's in love with Mystique?"

That question got silence and Christy reached out to gently touch Mystique's hand, feeling it was still warm. "You know I love you." The Double, spoke hesitantly, "But if I didn't have you I could see myself with Mystique."

"I suspected that." Emma's voice was a little resigned.

"So maybe they are lovers." Christy heard that and shook her head.

"No, we never do that do we?" She whispered to Mystique. "I know you would have wanted that with Christine, I can see it. You need to meet someone first I think." Christy thought as her mind played with what would have happened in her own world if she'd met Mystique first. She loved her Emma, but there was always something there with Mystique and apparently it wasn't just her. Christine and the Christy in the hall also did this.

"The kids are going to want an explanation." The Double spoke. "This is going to get messy."

"You'll be okay and so will they." Emma's words were comforting and it wasn't even Christy they were for. The tight ball of distrust she had for the blonde started to ease, others here might be dangerous, she'd even been told about that, but this Emma was like hers. "The Professor wants to see her."

"He can wait." An angry retort from the Double was a little bit of a surprise. "She's where she needs to be."

A slight groan in front of her and Christy lowered her hearing so she didn't get hurt. Mystique opened her eyes. "Hey." Christy spoke softly as Mystique started to look like she was focusing on her. "You got shot, but the doctor says you'll be okay." She leaned closer, hoping that Mystique was aware enough to remember this. She whispered. "If anyone asks, you were an Xman. They are a little uptight about the criminal thing." Mystique looked like she made an attempt to nod.

"We made it?" The voice was rough and hopeful. "where are we?"

"Well, we're at the Xavier's Institute on some Earth." Christy addressed the second question. "I didn't see an asteroid outside and no one looks haunted like they are about to die."

"Good." Mystique smiled and Christy took the hand Mystique was offering by holding out her fingers. "Thank you." There were tears in her eyes and Christy gently wiped them away. She could see Mystique was fading again.

"I will be nearby, but I have people to talk to." Christy told Mystique before she could fall asleep again. She'd been there to ease her mind and let her in on a little of what was going on.

Christy walked toward the door on the side and knocked quietly. Hank opened it. "She was up for a second." She sighed and looked at him. "We were supposed to have twenty other people with us, including her son and daughter." Christy gritted her teeth and looked down while taking a deep breath. "They aren't. They lived, or at least I didn't feel them die, but they landed on a different world." She looked up at Hank. "I need to be the one to tell her that." He needed to try and avoid the topic of other people and call Christy when Mystique woke up again.

"Okay, that sounds more than understandable." He spoke softly, clearly understanding the problem. "Perhaps our Christy or Emma could help."

"Maybe." Christy didn't really think Mystique would go for that. She just prayed that Mystique really did mean it when she said any type of hope was better, because being alone might be hard. Christy had been lucky to practically fall at Emma's feet when she left her own doomed world and Emma had helped to put her back together again. Christy would just have to try and do that for Mystique. Who else could understand?

The hall still had two people in it and no one had touched her backpack. That was good because that would require some explaining. "Hey." Christy said as her double and Emma stood up.

"Christy?" Emma asked softly.

"I'm betting she'll sleep for a few hours." Christy took a shuddering breath and looked away. She'd saved someone from that hell, a few someone's. It felt like her emotional control was fading with all the stress and having to kill and the rapes and just one soft word from Emma, one tender look, and she was losing it. Christy wrapped her own arms around her as she tried to breathe, just breathe. She got it under control. "So, I was hoping I could have a hot shower before I meet whoever I have to meet."

"We can do better than that. We'll have a hot dinner too." The double spoke gently. "Vegetables and everything." That woman knew what to offer, what was rare in a dying world.

"Thank you." Christy stared into her double's eyes, conveying her genuine appreciation, because she knew these women were protecting her and taking care of her in a way.

"You can use my room, I have a pretty decent shower, even a bath if you want." Her double started to walk and Emma was studying Christy as they started to move.

"Is there a space shortage?" Christy asked noticing she wasn't being given a room.

"My Christy will be staying with me so that you have a room for yourself." Emma answered her. "It's already custom made for a woman that needs no clothes. It should be perfect for you and Mystique when she's cleared to leave the medlab."

"How do you custom make a room for that?" Christy asked as Emma leaned forward to hit the elevator button.

"You take out the closet." Her double smiled just a little as she said that. "I didn't want to waste the space so I turned it into a home office. I'll have to take some of my lesson plans and work out of there but then the rest you can have. It's no problem."

"You aren't an Xman are you?" Christy asked quietly as they stepped into the elevator.

"I am, but Christy isn't." Emma answered for her lover, getting into the conversation. "What about you?"

"No, but we do have a double that became one." Christy told her them softly as she thought about Raven.

"Have you seen a lot of worlds?" Emma asked.

"I made a home on the first one I landed on after my first portal." Christy stepped out of the elevator with them and started down the hall after Emma. "And since then this is my fifth trying to get back."

"Why are you having trouble?" Her double asked while opening a door. Christy stepped into the room with her and looked around. The blue was soothing and nice, and the art on the walls made it feel homey.

"Nice." Christy said of the space as she stepped further in so that Emma could come in as well. "Oh, I have that piece at home." She pointed to one familiar work of art. "My Emma bought if for me for my birthday."

"Emma?" another Emma asked and Christy turned to look at the couple.

"My Emma." She clarified quietly. "I'm trying to go home to her but something always goes wrong and I don't know what I'm doing wrong." She finally answered her double's question.

"It just goes wherever it wants doesn't it." Her double gave her a sympathetic look.

"No, you guided it." Emma spoke to her lover and Christy stared. "You were thinking about me, about the Xmen when you created yours and you landed here. I would say there were probably a lot of different worlds you could have found without us."

"How do you know?" Christy asked before her double could talk. This could be a break, a chance to figure this out.

"Telepathy. I saw what Christy was doing when she created her portal, what she was thinking of."

Christy swallowed hard, clearly this was a more trustworthy Emma. "Could you do that for me? Could you help me figure this out?"

Emma studied her for a moment. "I'd need to work out how to get past your shields." Christy dropped them a little and stared at Emma. "Oh, well that certainly helps." Christy felt a slight mental touch and put the shield back up before Emma saw much. She didn't need the blonde seeing the last two worlds, at least not now. "We could work on it later. Today you'll be rather busy." Emma nodded and then pointed towards the home office. "The bathroom is over there. Once you are ready for dinner you can either mentally call out for me or go up the stairs and knock on the first door on the left you find. That's my room." The directions couldn't really be more straightforward, Christy nodded and started for the bathroom.

"Nice painting." She called out as she closed the door, knowing they couldn't be gone yet. Her hearing enhanced and she heard Emma laugh.

"Dear, maybe you should consider putting that piece out in the main room. Everyone seems to like it." Emma told her lover and it sounded like there was a story too it but Christy just moved to turn on the shower and shifted her clothes off. Warm water was something she missed and she'd take advantage now.

She was going to have to rip her soul opened in front of her lover's double to get the answers she needed, share her most painful memories and shames. Christy scrubbed her skin harder as she considered the cost she'd pay, but she'd pay it. She wanted to go home and clearly needed help to do it. She paused as a new thought hit her, what would those memories do to this Emma? Maybe she needed to talk to someone first.

……………..

Dinner was good. Christy noticed a few glances from Emma as Christy filled her plate with vegetables and bread, but her double just pushed the butter closer and gave her a small smile. "I'm so sick of nutrition bars and ensure." Christy muttered, and watched the slightly surprised expression on her double's face. It was a sneaky move but she could tell they had even more in common. "It was better than my first doomed world but still you get spoiled living with a millionaire." She gave her double a small smile and then a sympathetic look.

A cell phone rang and Emma picked it up while moving towards what must be her closet and bathroom with it for privacy.

"I need to talk with you alone sometime." Christy spoke quietly. "Before Emma starts looking in my mind."

"She's trustworthy." Her double told her gently. "She's seen some really horrible things I've done and she doesn't judge."

"it's more than that." Christy stared down at her plate. "Just see if you can make time to talk to me later. I don't sleep well so it doesn't matter if it's the middle of the night."

"Okay." Her double nodded and they continued to eat. Emma came back a minute or two later.

After dinner it was time to meet the owner of the school. Christy wasn't all that eager, but she followed Emma down to his office. She just told herself that she could go check on Mystique again after she was done with him, and to remember he wasn't Raven's Professor so killing him on sight was not a good idea.

…………………

Emma followed her into the room and Christy ignored that as she forced a semi-pleasant expression to her face as she walked up to the desk. "Thank you for all your help." She smiled just a little feeling fake but hoping she didn't look it. What she wanted to say was what part of my soul will this help cost. How about you just tell me upfront how you plan to manipulate me was another comment she'd like to make but instead she took the seat he'd waved to in invitation. "You probably already know, but my name is Christy."

"Yes, and things will surely get confusing around here with two of you." He smiled and Christy glanced to the side when she caught Emma moving to take the other chair out of the corner of her eye.

"I also go by Demise." She offered quietly and glanced over at an amused looking Emma.

"Well, that doesn't really help. That's my Christy's codename as well." Emma crossed her legs and sat back a little. "She told me that while she doesn't really care for her full name she'll go by it for now. I like it myself, Christine is a very pretty name."

"If you want to be named after a haunted evil car." Christy muttered quietly, her voice rose. "Well that helps."

"Yes it does." The Professor spoke and the way he sat screamed that he wanted everyone's full attention. His back couldn't really be more rigid. "I wanted to know more about why and how you are here."

Christy just stared at him a moment without answering, while she tried to determine how little she could give him. "I'm a mutant." She smiled just a little as if she were joking. "Those are people born with a little something extra." He didn't look amused so she sighed. "My lover and I were attacked. I used my power to try and defend us, but ended up being tossed into the portal. I've been through that portal a few times since then, but I haven't found home yet. It feels like I'm just getting further away." She glanced over at Emma, "Emma's offered to help me."

"I could also help, but I know that you'd need to allow me in." He spoke and Christy couldn't hide the expression on her face. He clearly noticed it.

"I'm sorry, but it's Emma or no one." She stared at the man. "I've actually wanted to let another telepath in and it just doesn't work."

"What can you tell me about your world?" It was a rather polite interrogation, but an interrogation none the less. Christy thought about the woman down in the lab before answering.

"I came from a doomed planet and I don't call that one home anymore. My home is," Christy struggled with a way to describe home.

She was quiet too long, because Emma spoke. "You can't describe home can you? This might be related to your problems getting there."

"When I think of home I think of my lover." Christy stared at Emma, ignoring the Professor for now. "I think of my friends, but the world itself could be anywhere."

"I think the first thing we'll need to do is pull out as many details about that world as possible, as well as details about your lover. If I gave you a journal would you use it?" Emma's eyes were so penetrating, Christy stared at them for a moment before giving an answering nod.

"This is good. Emma will be able to help you a great deal." The Professor interrupted, and then dismissed the topic, "Can you tell me about the Mystique you brought with you?"

"I landed on her world a little over a month ago." Christy turned in her seat to face the Professor more again. She had shifted towards Emma when she was talking with the blonde. "She and my double had been close, and since my own Mystique was a good friend of mine it wasn't hard to decide to stay with her while I waited to recharge." His slight grimace told her that her double's power wasn't a complete mystery to these people. Christy was really cleaning up this story. "In that world some of the Xmen had tried to stop the asteroid but they failed. The rest of the Xmen teamed up with Emma Frost and moved to Massachusetts. A lot of people had died, but Mystique was fortunate that her son and daughter were still with her. We assembled a few things to try and make creating a new life easier and I was about ready to open the portal when we were attacked. Mystique covered us while I opened the portal and did my best to aim the damned thing, but when she was shot everything fell apart. I lost the others and now she's alone." Christy shook her head. "At least she'll know they lived, but I'd wanted to give her more than that. After all her work protecting them and keeping them together she deserved more."

"She was an Xman?" He asked it directly.

She lied directly too. "Yes, for what that was worth." Christy leaned forward a little, "They lost their powers when the humans decided to make sure that the mutants didn't outlive them. The humans put a satellite in orbit that inhibited all powers but mine."

He looked thoughtful and Christy wondered if this man was like the last Charles Xavier she'd met, if he was, than right now he was planning the best way to use both Christy and Mystique. She'd have to be cautious.

The rest of the meeting was tiring and Christy had to resort to plainly telling him she wouldn't answer some questions far too often. He seemed to feel he had the right to her entire life story and she didn't feel he did. Neither one of them were very happy by the time he finally let her leave.

Emma had stayed with her and left with her as well. Christy didn't say much as they walked down the hall toward the elevator. She gave a weary smile as they waited for the doors to open. When the doors closed she spoke. "It wasn't any of his business where I've been or what I've done." She looked down a little, "Or what I've been through." Her jaw muscle tensed as she stared at white boots for a moment. "That is not going to cost me her medical help is it?"

"No, it won't." Emma spoke quietly but with confidence that made Christy feel a little better.

"Good." Christy felt the elevator stopping so she stared at the doors. "I saved someone, I'd hate to lose her after all that." She started to walk out into the hall with Emma by her side. The wrong Emma, but this one was closer. Maybe her luck was going to turn the other way now.

…………..

Mystique was awake when Christy stepped into the room and she saw Hank had a phone in his hand that he put back down the moment he saw her. He nodded and Christy could tell he'd been trying to find her. "Hey." Christy spoke softly and stepped away from Emma towards Mystique's bedside.

"There you are." Mystique's voice was rough and weaker than Christy had ever heard it. Christy pulled a chair over and planned to sit on it, but she just moved to stand next to Mystique and carefully took her hand.

"I had to meet the head honcho for my friendly interrogation." Christy studied Mystique's color and thought she was a little pale. It took more looking to find that in a blue woman. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got shot four times." Mystique glanced at the IV's in her arm and then at Christy. "But my powers are back so I should heal a little faster. Once I'm a little stronger I can work on it." Christy nodded, she knew how Mystique's powers worked. "What's this world like? Will we be okay here?"

Christy's heart ached as Mystique asked it. She looked up at Emma, who was still in the room and held her eyes for a moment silently requesting privacy. Emma and Hank stepped out of the room. When she looked back down Mystique looked apprehensive. "We ran into a problem. I'm so sorry, but they landed on a different world." Christy watched the stunned, pained expression on Mystique's face. "They lived, I would have known if they didn't. I had really good thoughts that I maintained for them and they were holding hands so they'd all be together, but when I went back for you the last one, Kitty, was pulled in after the others. I had no one to grab."

Mystique looked away and started to stare unseeing at the wall in the distance. Christy just stood near her and felt like a failure, like she'd let down all Mystique's not just this one. Part of her knew these things happened, but she hated that they happened to this woman. "So where are we?" Mystique finally spoke and Christy got the impression that Mystique was pushing her pain back for now to deal with the situation.

"We're at a Xavier's Institute with a double of mine and a Professor even she thinks is untrustworthy. We're just lucky you're an Xman or I think they might have locked you up rather than help you." Mystique's eyes widened just a moment and then she nodded. Clearly she was too drugged to remember Christy saying that before. "I didn't merge with her, she dodges better than the others. I don't have to leave you here when I go. I could try and find somewhere else for you. Anyway it will take a while for me to recharge and for you to heal. We can take that time."

"So I'm going to be a wanderer like you?" Mystique asked wearily.

"No, you don't have to be. I just want to find you somewhere good." Christy quietly added to herself that she wanted to find a place where Mystique wouldn't be alone.

"Well thank you for saving us." Mystique finally spoke after a long silence. "I told you anything was better, and while this wasn't really my dream it is better."

Christy just nodded.

"We did it." Mystique added softly.

"Yes we did." Christy gave Mystique a small smile as the woman tried to look on the bright side. "We lost your backpack, but you can have mine. I'm not settling anywhere and when I do get home I'm well off."

"Protecting your lover pays well?" Mystique gave a small grin.

"Yes, and the benefits package is really good." Christy smiled just a little more.

"I'll bet." Mystique sighed heavily. "I still feel like I have lead in my bones. These damned drugs."

"You need rest." Christy leaned down and kissed Mystique's cheek. "We have allies in Emma and their Christine." She whispered in her ear. "And I will protect you until you can protect yourself. I promise you this." She leaned back out of Mystique's space. "You sleep and I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see about getting us some information about this world for you to look at, just in case you like it."

"I'm not thrilled so far." Mystique muttered.

Christy felt awkward leaving Mystique, but she needed to get some sleep as well, and she needed to talk with Christine.

………….

Christy stepped out of the elevator and started down the hall, before a voice called to her. "Christy." She turned and saw the healer coming her way, and could tell the moment the healer noticed she wasn't the woman she was after. Didn't her double call this girl Annie, Christy thought as she continued to wait. Annie took a few more hesitant steps toward her and Christy could see curiosity and a little bit of fear.

"Hello Healer." She spoke calmly, matter of factly and ignored the way Annie stared at her, studying her. "Mystique is doing relatively well. Thank you."

"Um, you knew about my powers." Annie spoke quietly and Christy started to walk, moving for the front doors with Annie by her side.

"I've met one of you before. I travel realities." Christy remembered that time and sighed unhappily. "I owe her a great deal. She risked a lot to come and save my lover. I have little money to pay you for your services." She glanced at the girl. "But I'm sure Mystique would be willing to settle the bill."

"I charged?" Annie sounded a little disgusted. It reminded Christy that she probably didn't want to share too much about doubles with people.

"She was worth the money, and the risk she took to help needed to be rewarded." Christy explained quietly. "The Healer was well known and very sought out. I had to pull strings to even talk with her." Christy remembered the frantic phone calls. "But I assume I'm not the woman you were looking for, so you could continue your search. I really have no idea where to find my double."

"So you really are Christy?" Annie sounded stunned.

"Yes." Christy stopped where she'd need to either go upstairs or head out the front door. A walk outside might be nice, just look at the stars and double check. She knew she would have heard about it by now if there was an obvious problem, but still, double checking wouldn't hurt. It was dark now, so that would make it easier. "Would you be willing to give me a tour?" This place was a little different from the mansions she'd seen the past and knowing her environment would be important.

"Ah, sure." Annie didn't sound all that sure. "I just need to drop by my girlfriend's room to tell her."

"Oh did you have plans? You don't have to give me a tour, I could just look around." Christy said, but she was a little surprised to find out the Healer was gay. It had just never come up in her one meeting with her.

"No, I want to." Annie stopped her protest and sounded a little less shy. Christy watched out of the corner of her eye as Annie seemed to check her out. She was probably looking for more differences. Christy glanced down at her rather normal clothes and made a decision. She shifted her pants into black leather and her top became a white button down shirt, left unbuttoned enough so show a little cleavage. A long matching leather jacket covered that. Her hair moved into a ponytail. She looked different than her double, more different, while still being herself.

"She doesn't wear clothes like these does she?" Christy asked the surprised looking girl.

"No." Annie spoke and blushed. Christy's eyebrow rose as she noticed Annie was attracted. That was different, and way too young.

"So who are you dating?" Christy asked and the looks Annie had been giving her faded as the girl smiled.

"Phoebe Stepford." Annie's answer was a bit of a surprise. Christy just nodded, but then she hadn't really known any of those girls' orientation either. "she's a quintuplet, but I can always tell which one is her."

"Well, good thing or you could get into some serious trouble." Christy smiled just a little and stepped outside with the girl.

……………

The tour was of questionable value, Annie focused on the amenities like the pool and TV rooms, while Christy had more practical interests. Christy paid attention, but she learned to look around and mentally map the area as if it were a talking engagement for her lover. She took note of the trouble spots where monitoring would be difficult and she took notice of the areas that would be best for guards she didn't have. Treating it as work gave her the professionalism to remember, and made her a little too intense for her guide. Annie clearly was uncomfortable in her presence. The people who used to give her the tours of places Emma would speak got like this too, the subtle stares and the tension.

Christy sighed as she relaxed her body and gave the girl a small smile. "So, how is the food in this place?" She tried to put Annie at ease. "Army grade or better?" They stood in the library.

"Um, it's good cafeteria food, but it isn't a fine restaurant." Annie responded, looking a little lost at the friendly look Christy gave her.

"I'm sorry, I tend to get a little intense." Christy apologized as she glanced around at the few, very few, students in the library. "Don't they study around here?"

"We're on a break." Annie's body started to relax. "Fall semester starts in three days."

"Cool." Christy muttered, not really sure what to say to the girl. She didn't really care all that much about school starting, not now, with all her other concerns. Still she made an effort to conceal that. "My double a teacher?" She asked. There hadn't really been too much time devoted to asking about her double around here.

"Yeah, she just got hired." Annie answered and Christy gave her an expectant look, wanting more information. "She'll be teaching sex ed." Annie blushed a little at that and Christy's eyes widened.

"She's welcome to it. I wouldn't want to teach that." Her eyes moved to stare out the window as she considered how liberated her double must be. Was her double's Emma broadening her horizons? Was she broadening them too much? She hated that her suspicions were so easily aroused now. She never used to suspect her lover's doubles of things like what she was worried about now.

Christy's teaching double didn't seem unhappy. Christy sighed and decided that she would just accept that as enough, no matter what they did in their bedroom.

Didn't that sound like the rumors that used to float around at home about her own Emma? Christy thought with some bitterness as she remembered the whispered discussions of Emma's perversions. They all assumed she had them, Christy hadn't seen any evidence, but the others around had assumed. Christy never could tell them they were wrong because Emma and her relationship was more in the closet than not. "Thanks for the tour." She told Annie and could see the girl wanted to ask questions. "I better try and get some sleep. It's been a really long day." She didn't want to answer questions.

As Christy walked away she noticed that Annie went out another way. Christy's mind filled in the path the girl would take and as she found herself able to do that she knew she knew enough about her surroundings.

………………..

Christy was tired and she just sat at the dresser and stared at her reflection. Her hair shortened, and her face grew younger, until it looked like she was staring at Raven. She just stared at the familiar but different features and let her heart hurt a little.

The knock on the door had her quickly shifting back and feeling a little embarrassed. She couldn't regain any of those good qualities, that innocence and strength, by pretending. With a sigh she got up and moved to the door.

Christine stood at the door looking a little awkward. "You want to talk now?" Christy's double asked. "Or do you need some sleep?"

"I'm having a little trouble sleeping." Christy said as she moved back to let the woman into her own room. "Thank you for giving me your room. It's very nice."

"I just decorated." Christine told her as Christy closed the door behind her, but there was a hint of not wanting to play polite chit chat, so Christy dropped it.

"How solid is your relationship with her?" Christy asked, her expression a mask of disinterest, and it was just a mask, as she sat down.

Christine didn't pretend to not understand, and the look that crossed her face was not reassuring. There were doubts. "We just recently got together. I moved here a little less than two months ago and she doesn't hide that we're together." Well isn't that nice, a small bitter internal voice said as Christy said nothing.

"If she helps me she may see things." Christy sighed as her back slumped. "Things that might upset her. I've been with my Emma for two years and away for too long, but I would have a hard time opening myself to her knowing that the things she'd see would hurt her." Christy's jaw clenched as she fought getting glassy eyes. She wasn't ready just yet. She'd been strong for Raven, but at that point she was needed and Christy was always good at being strong when she was needed. "I don't want to cause trouble in your relationship. I know Emma's special, I love mine, but if you two are strong together this could hurt you."

"What is it? I told her about my past, showed her." Christine asked quietly and waited patiently.

Christy took a deep breath and did the responsible thing. She started to talk, even though she wasn't really sure what to make of this double yet. She didn't really trust her like she'd trusted Raven. "In the first world I landed in I found Emma was dating Scott. I thought it was a dark world." She chuckled at her old views, a bitter tone to her voice and she noticed the way Christine looked away from her, clearly a little insecure. "There was little love there, but she stayed with him. It upset me to see her settling, but she wasn't my Emma and I moved on. She helped me separate from the me of that world, because I ended up trapped inside my double. If I'd hit you I would have ended up trapped inside of you as well."

Christy leaned forward a little, getting a little closer to the woman sitting on the chair opposite her. "Then I landed in a young Christy still married to Michelle." Christy watched as her double made a very small expression of disgust at the idea. This double was identifying a bit too much with her. It would make the next world harder to talk about. "I found Emma in her college and she eventually learned enough about her powers to help me separate myself yet again. I was off and into another world after that."

Christy paused and took a deep breath. "I found hell in that world and the Emma there was hardly innocent of hurting me." Christy glared at the table rather than look up at her double now. "I merged with Raven, my Xmen double. I merged with her while she was in the Hellfire club and became their prisoner. We became their entertainment, their slave, their sex toy to rip apart. The White Queen was there and I don't know if your Emma could take knowing what happened there. I'm afraid that if she's anything like the woman I love, she'll hate herself for what happened in that world. That Emma was cold, very cold." Christy went quiet as she remembered the few moments when that woman hadn't been cold. They were few and they hurt because they showed that underneath that mask was a real Emma. Christy still didn't look up. "If your lover sees these things and doesn't feel pain I wouldn't trust her, but if she does she'll need you."

Christy didn't even mention that she'd condemned a worlds Hellions to death by inaction.

"After that world I landed in the world I found Mystique in. it was a dying world and I had under six weeks to power up and leave, all while the world was already rather dead. There wasn't much to fuel my power." Christy looked up at a stone faced mask on Christine. She knew that mask, the woman was hiding pain. "I killed those that were dying anyhow, but not for food this time. And not just men and the occasional accidental woman. I killed entire tribes, men, women, children. It seemed more merciful to kill a child than leave them alone to face their deaths. I dragged Mystique down into that hell with me and she and I did our damnedest to not feel anything for weeks while we killed." Christy just stopped talking and stared at her double, who was still absorbing her words and perhaps she was smart enough to know they were just the tip of the iceberg. "Can your Emma help me and not come out darker? Can she touch my mind and not die a little?"

Silence filled the room as Christy resorted to just watching her double think.

"I'll ask her." Christine finally spoke, softly. Christy was glad to see no pity in those eyes, no hidden judgment of her weakness and no accusations at her actions. "But I expect she'll say she can do it. In my mind she saw how I lead my people into cannibalism." They both sighed at that and it was almost worthy of a smile how they had at the same moment. If they had been talking of lighter things Christy might have smiled just a little. "She's strong, but I won't tell you it won't upset her. I think it will." Christy just tilted her head a little and studied her double, hearing doubles and uncertainty in the confident voice, because if someone had asked her this about her own lover, Christy would know more. It just showed how young this relationship was. It would have been better for Christy to seek this help from an Emma that had been in a ten or twenty year solid relationship with her double. A relationship that had already proved itself able to deal with the waves life sent its way. This was an untested love and Christy didn't want to be the test that stopped it cold.

……………….

Christy shifted her leg a little and continued to quietly write on her new journal. The soft sounds of the ventilation system didn't mask the quiet sounds of the heart monitor on Mystique. Christy glanced up at the monitor for a second and then at the sleeping woman on the bed. Mystique did a lot of sleeping, and had been for the three days they'd been there. Hank said the drugs helped, but Christy didn't like the idea of a drugged and helpless Mystique. That was why she spent almost all her time in the medlab reading or writing.

The Professor had visited a couple of times, the first time he'd looked a little surprised to see her and Christy was glad she had been. He didn't get close to Mystique during that visit. Christy pretended to be interested in the school, and kept him talking until Hank came back.

She sighed and stared down at the journal she'd started, wondering what was important enough to remember. Without a clue as to what the various realities had it made sense to remember as much as possible. Christy's hand started to write again as she recorded the security crew she worked with, even Tessa, the woman that Christy usually just heard over the comms.

Christy stopped writing and stared at the paper again and she considered how little she really knew of the people in her life. It was unforgivable really that she hadn't bothered to get to know them. She couldn't even write down whether Tessa cared about anyone, was seeing anyone. She didn't even know if Tessa had ever been with Emma.

How much had she not asked of her own lover? She avoided talk about ex-lovers to avoid the jealous pang she suspected it would give her and when Emma wanted to avoid discussing the Hellfire club or anything else, Christy rarely pushed. Staring at the journal, she came to the conclusion that she should have pushed. It was easier to focus on a reality than an emotion. Her love wasn't guiding her portals, she needed facts.

It didn't escape her attention that when she just wanted medical help on the other side of the portal it was there. She could manage to control the portal enough for that.

The journal was very slow going, and Christy was glad when she looked up to see her double. "How was work?" She asked quietly as the woman moved to sit in the other chair.

"Have you ever stood in front of a group of teenagers and suddenly realized that while they think they are old enough to have sex they giggle like children if you say the word?" Christine sighed heavily. "I don't know, I guess I'm used to more mature children. I read the syllabus to them and I had to glare at them to stop some giggles. I'm really looking forward to our class tomorrow." Christine's words were sarcastic. "I'm going to have to beat the giggling and embarrassment out of them if we're going to get anywhere."

Christy smirked just a little at the problems her double had. She glanced over at Mystique and made sure the woman still looked comfortable and asleep. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks." Christine shook her head at the lack of sympathy and then sat up a little straighter. "Did you just sit in here all day?"

"I managed to get some work done." Christy held up a journal, closed. She didn't share what she wrote. "And Mystique was awake for about an hour. We talked."

"You need food." Christine spoke quietly. "I had trouble remembering that after my world…" Christy just nodded. She'd had problems with that as well after her first portal jump to her Emma's world.

"I don't want to leave her alone." Christy reached out and gently caressed a blue hand. Mystique didn't wake up.

"I could stay with her." Christine offered and Christy turned to see the tender look her double gave Mystique. "You can take a walk or get some food."

It took a few more minutes of small talk before Christy took the offer. Putting her journal in her shifted on backpack and pulling it into her body for safety, Christy left the med lab. The noise told her that a few children had already decided to get an early dinner or snack as she approached the cafeteria a few minutes later.

"Ms. Taylor?" A young voice asked and Christy turned to see a young girl. "Do I really need to take your class to get a room? I mean, its…" The girl stammered.

"Embarrassing?" Christy supplied without any emotion. "Well, you could just start your family young I guess. You don't need to know about birth control that way. Or you could make friends with that healer so she fixes the STD's you pick up. Oh, but then you'd have to talk about sex at least a little." Christy could see the girl wanted to leave, so she stared into her eyes. "You are old enough to raise kids but you aren't old enough to take this class?"

"I, ah." The girl stammered.

"Oh, and I'm not your teacher." Christy started to walk the rest of the way to the cafeteria. "She's in the med lab." Maybe her double would thank her for this if word got around. This was as much as she wanted to talk about sex with teenagers though. She'd leave her double to that task. She strongly doubted that her double had ever experienced that panicked moment when one wondered if they were pregnant or if they'd contracted something. No, Christy shook her head. She wasn't really willing to talk about how that felt either. Christine had asked once about the rapes, and Christy cut her off. Still of all her doubles, she ended up with one that fancied herself a sex ed teacher this time around? At least she didn't merge with her.

Christy ignored the students and could tell who had been in Christine's class by who stared at her. Christine had informed her class about her double and Christy had agreed to keep her hair in a ponytail so that kids that paid attention would know the difference.

It was another gasp that had her turning away from the lunch counter and her body tensed as a group of people came into existence suddenly in the middle of the cafeteria. Her jaw dropped a moment before she clenched it and took a step forward.

"Blink?" One of them spoke and Christy took another step forward towards the pink female glancing around at the kids.

"Get a teacher," One teen called out, but Christy was already catching a few of the Exiles' eyes as she moved toward them purposefully.

"What is your mission?" Christy growled out, afraid that it had something to do with one of the three dimension hoppers currently at the mansion. She glared at Blink and noticed the others appeared a little surprised. "Hand me your arm." She wasn't going to trust the woman to tell her the truth. She glanced at the device attached to Blink's arm briefly but meaningfully.

"I don't think so girly." Mimic spoke up and Christy turned her glare to him. The sound of the teens in the room told her that some other adult had entered the room.

"Blink," Christy glanced at the others and could see the large white beast and a woman of a familiar blue along with Mimic, Morph and Sunfire before returning her attention to the leader. "You have no right to tamper here just on the off chance you'll go home." She'd read about the Exiles on her own home world, before it died. They jumped dimensions like Christy did lately, but they did it to complete missions. Some of those missions were rather cold and Christy wasn't going to trust them no matter how nice they might seem, not without proof that they weren't after someone she cared about. They'd saved and killed in their missions before.

The Exiles looked stunned that she knew what they were doing, and Christy watched with narrowed eyes as Blink took a look at the device on her arm. She took in the slight widening of eyes and the way Blink's eyes almost moved to TJ, who was some Mystique's granddaughter, before just looking up at Christy and holding her gaze.

"What's going on here?" A male voice asked, it was a little rough.

"Logan, these are the worst sort of dimension hoppers." Christy told him without looking away from Blink. "They have a mission and they won't leave without completing it. I say we deserve to know what that mission is."


	45. Hope 1 Part 3

500 Miles

Hope

By Princess Alexandria

More Xmen arrived, but Christy didn't move from her position right in front of the newcomers. She was a newcomer herself, but this felt remarkably like her job, so she took charge. "The pink woman is the leader." She called out to the people behind her without looking back to see who was there. She could see the Exiles were tensed and ready for battle. "You're outnumbered and outpowered here." Christy told them while shifting her sharp claw fingers on. "Blink, it doesn't have to be a battle. I just want to make sure you're safe to let stay." Her voice was gentler even as her body prepared for battle. She'd liked Blink and TJ in the comics, so if she didn't have to kill them it would be nice.

Blink looked a little tense and out of her element. "Well we have to," Blink started to talk and Christy took a step closer.

"Show it to me." She didn't want any cleaned up stories or outright lies. Mimic took a protective step between her and Blink.

"I have, what, maybe a dozen Xmen behind me?" Christy spoke louder and she could hear Scott had arrived, by his asking someone what was going on. "And I can kick ass pretty well myself. Do you really want to test me?"

"No Mimic, it's okay." Blink told him as the man continued to stand in Christy's way. He was pretty slow about moving to the side and Christy's hearing heard Scott talking, and Jean telling him to let her handle this. It made sense, because she knew more about what was going on.

Christy moved up to a nervous looking Blink that smiled at her just a little. "There are two people who don't belong here." Blink held up her arm and Christy gently took it to look at the red device that told Blink her missions. Christy had to move to the side to read it, and as she moved Blink spoke gently. "You're one of them aren't you?"

Christy didn't answer as she struggled to read the mission on Blink's arm first. Words ran across the device and Christy waited for the beginning to read it. The green words ran across the red screen. 'Don't let the new Mystique stay here and teach the wanderer control before she contaminates the realities any more than she has.' More words were moving across it, and Christy's mind was too busy to really read them. She saw Emma's name, but it was a brief mention of help too. Christy just scanned the message for words like kill after that. She didn't see any words like that.

"What is going on here?" Scott finally lost his patience and moved forward. Christy looked up, still holding Blink's arm gently to see him looking at all the new people and then glaring at her.

"Help has arrived." Christy spoke slowly, a tightness in her chest loosening as her hand squeezed Blink's and noticed the compassionate squeeze back as Christy addressed the Xmen assembled. "They're here to help me." It was at that moment that she remembered that Blink had portals too, they didn't cross dimensions on their own, but her power was closer to Christy than Nightcrawler's had been, and he'd tried to talk to her about control.

"So you are the wanderer?" Blink gently took her arm back and Christy stood in front of the woman she'd read about and nodded just a little. Her mind was still stunned by the fact that help had been sent to her. Her eyes watered a little, making seeing a little harder, and Christy took a deep breath before re-absorbing it.

For once her powers had worked better than she expected. Christy had only asked for help while jumping into it, and she thought the Healer was all the help she was getting. Christy turned her head to glance at T.J. for a moment, while Xmen drew closer and started to greet the new comers.

"I know what it's like to be lost." Blink spoke softly and Christy turned to face her again, feeling like a lost child being offered a friendly hand and a safe place to be. A tear passed her tight control and trickled down her cheek as she felt real hope touch her heart. Between Blink and Emma, Christy might just get to go home.

The Xmen moved in, talking to Blink as well, and Christy had to let the pink woman go, but she moved to the wall and kept her eye on the woman just to make sure she didn't disappear. Questions about who they were, how they got there, were all directed at the newcomers and Christy let the Exiles answer them even though she could have done it.

The brief flash of white out of the corner of her eye was warning enough and Christy wasn't surprised to hear Emma's voice. "How are you doing?"

Christy paused before the traditional answer of fine and reconsidered it. "It's been so hard to hold onto hope." Christy swallowed hard and looked down at the floor as she struggled with her emotions. "So very hard." Her hands shook, so Christy clenched them and wrapped her arms around her own body. "And now I have you and Blink, and it feels surreal, and it hurts, because hoping is so hard." A warm hand rested on her shoulder, and Christy didn't look up because she knew the expression on this Emma's face would be too much like her own lover's. "I'd almost given up. Every world was becoming worse than the one before, and I'd almost given up any hope. I was just going through the motions. God, I miss her so much, but the thought of an even worse world terrified me. I was afraid to try for home again."

"I heard." Emma spoke softly and Christy's body started to shake at the compassion in it. Christy was alarmed when the shaking got worse instead of fading, and Emma pulled her into a hug.

Christy clung to the double of her lover as tears trailed down her cheeks and painful sobs shook her body. Hope hurt like a burning in her chest, because she was so afraid that even with help she would fail yet again.

"Come on, let's get you out of here." Emma spoke softly, caressing her back, but Christy turned to desperately seek out Blink instead of moving with the arm encouraging her to walk.

"Blink." Her voice was rough as she said it. "Where's Blink?" She didn't see the woman. She did see T.J., and Heather was in sight now as herself and not the giant white beast.

"She's talking with Cyclops." A new voice spoke softly and Christy looked up at Sunfire, who was giving her a concerned look. "Explaining our mission. It looks like it's just Blink's mission this time." Christy felt embarrassed about her breakdown as she noticed a few more concerned looks from others who didn't approach. It made it easier to let Emma lead her out.

Christy found herself in Emma's room, alone with the woman that looked so like her lover. "They are offering the Exiles a place to stay while Blink works with us. Our new guests are a bit tired so Jean is convincing the others to just let them sleep." Emma told her after a moment of silence that spoke of telepathic communication. "Is it okay if T.J. visits Mystique? She's asked about the 'new Mystique', and she's a little concerned about her."

"I'm surprised she wants to." Christy sat down heavily on the couch. "She's trying to save her dad from being killed by her grandmother, that's the reality she's trying to undo."

"You know more about them than my Christine does." Emma sat down. "I asked her about them and she didn't even recognize them all. Do you?"

"I," Christy looked up and wondered how much this Emma knew about the comic books. She was hesitant to say anything. Her own Emma had listened to her talk about them with fascination. "I read a lot about them." Her friend Mark on her home world had hunted down the entire series for her after she'd admitted to liking blue women. T.J. quickly became a favorite. "I think having T.J. visit might be good for Mystique. Someone to show her that she still has family all over the different dimensions."

"Okay." Emma went quiet a moment, telling someone the decision. Christy was a little surprised that she was being allowed to make the decision. "My lover read a little about them as well. Enough to make it clear you knew what you were talking about with the mission." Emma turned a little in her seat and her words were softer. "Christy, I know I'm not your lover, but if you need someone to talk to I'm here." Christy took a shaky breath. "I heard about the other Emma you met, and I'll understand if you don't feel comfortable with me, but I do want you to know that I'm sorry you went through that, and that I am strong enough to listen to whatever you might need to say."

Christy stared at the blonde, searching for any sign of apprehension about the offer. Part of her wanted to take her up on it, but she suppressed that. "I have to figure out what's going wrong when I make a portal." She'd open herself up enough for that, but not more. "Maybe if you looked in my head you could tell me."

"I could do that." Emma nodded, but Christy got the sense that the woman was a little disappointed that her offer of help wasn't taken more personally.

"Thank you." Christy spoke softly, a hint of apology in her voice. She just couldn't trust this fast, not again.

After a brief and calming discussion of less traumatic things Christy took a deep breath and lowered her mental shield. She did it without saying anything, and she waited as a slow and hesitant mental touch indicated that Emma had noticed. "Are you sure you want to do this now?" Emma asked gently, while the telepath's mental touch warmed Christy.

"I want to know why I'm always screwing up. I've never once done it right." Christy said quietly and tried to focus on the moments when she'd gone through her portal. Her awareness of the outer world started to fade as Emma took them both into Christy's mind.

……………..

The street Christy found herself on was littered with rubble and glass. Smoke trailed up into the air from several different fires, and the sound of crackling fire and bursting windows was clear in the otherwise quiet streets. Christy took a few steps further into the middle of the street and looked down the road, trying to determine what world this was, because she'd seen three like this.

"This is New York." Emma spoke up and Christy turned to look at the blonde now in her mind with her.

"Magneto did this. It's okay, he only got Manhattan." Christy noticed Emma's eyebrow raised at Christy's lack of concern. "I landed here in the middle of this mess first. My double was alone and running for her life from some humans that noticed her eyes glowed and they wanted to take out their hatred on her." Christy glanced over at what now was a familiar alley. "I killed one of them and then managed to run into the Xmen."

"This isn't the beginning." Emma moved to bend over and picked up a half scorched Barbie. It was all dressed in white. Christy stared at it, remembering it from a different world.

"She doesn't belong here." Christy took a few steps closer to Emma and reached out for the Blonde doll wearing a tin foil crown and all white clothes. Her fingers moved to try and straighten mussed doll hair gently, caressing her. "I lost her long before this place."

"Where?" Emma asked and Christy looked up, feeling a little lost as she stared back down at the familiar Emma Doll.

"My home world." With the doll clutched in a fist Christy watched the buildings shift and change, becoming different destroyed buildings. Tacoma came into focus as New York faded away. "This is where it all began." Christy spoke softly as she watched a memory of herself and a few of her tribe walking down the hill heading for the water. "This is where it all ended too."

"Shall we follow them?" Emma said and Christy just sighed. "We'll need to get closer, to hear your thoughts as you create your first portal."

"I can tell you what I was thinking. Some things you never forget." Christy started after the others with Emma, but the scenery shifted as only a telepath can make it and she found herself suddenly standing on the rocky beach, in her memory and yet apart from it. It felt like a dulled memory as she lived it again.

The asteroid streaked through the sky and Christy just stared at it without blinking as it passed overhead. Her hand wrapped around the small Barbie doll that one of the children of the tribe gave her, one dressed in all white to represent the woman she'd told a few stories of. Christy heard the explosion and pulled the doll up to her eyes, remembering the pride the child had in having a gift to give her after Christy's Mark had died. The small tin foil crown was out of place, but Christy just used her other hand to straighten it on Queen Emma, that's what the little girl had called her, not the White Queen.

"Maybe in a thousand years aliens will find you and think you're an important religious artifact or a representation of our queen." Christy told little Emma with a small smile as she heard the explosion. "Good bye Queen Emma."

The force hit her at that moment and Christy was pulled out of the memory to find herself standing on a quiet green hillside with Emma beside her.

"Queen Emma? Was that your last thought?" Emma asked, this time she held the doll, caressing it's hair.

"She was a gift." Christy smiled just a little as she thought of the other Emma she'd found on the other side of that portal. That Emma was a gift as well.

Emma spoke up and Christy looked up into the telepath's eyes. "Tell me about the world you landed in."

"I landed on the beach near her beach house. She found me." Christy turned on the hill to see a view of that beach in the distance. She could see her form tossed to the ground, and the double that had been innocently taking a walk screamed almost loud enough to hear in the distance as she was pulled back into the portal. "It wasn't without its sacrifices." Christy sighed heavily as the portal closed on the doomed woman. Lights suddenly filled the beach and Christy watched as people rushed out with guns to circle her memory self. "Or its misunderstandings. They thought I came to assassinate her at first. Then when they saw me they thought I'd been attacked. My double had been there on a vacation and she'd been on the beach before, she was recognized, or I was." A tall woman in white moved to walk out to her and kneeled beside her memory self. "My Queen could tell it was something more, even blinded to me by my shields she could tell."

Christy turned away from the memory, hurting, and tried to take control. The sky darkened and night came in suddenly as they shifted to another time on that beach, years later. "I arrived here, and I left from here." Christy turned back and could tell they'd see nothing from the hill. "Tonight the man responsible for sending an assassin to kill my lover came to do the job himself. This is the night that I failed her and left her alone to face them. This is the night when my job and my role as her lover collided to cost us too much. I should have had backup there, I should have known that we couldn't just take a long weekend getaway. If I had been thinking like security and not her lover we would never have faced them." Christy took a shaky breath. "She had a surprise for me, and I didn't want to ruin it by demanding details and escorts. She just wanted to be Emma for a weekend, and I should have never agreed."

A pale hand rested on her shoulder and suddenly they stood on the side of the beach house. The Emma next to her gasped a little at seeing the attackers and Christy swore she felt the blonde flinch as Memory Christy was tossed into the portal.

Christy found her frame of reference changing again as she relived it. Christy's eyes caught her lover's now opened eyes longingly, desperately, and in that moment she realized that she'd lost. Christy screamed for her as she hit her own portals cold surface and the familiar airless, cold, disorienting sensation filled her. "EMMA!"

"CHRISTY!" The words were muffled, but Christy could feel the soft touch of Emma's frantic mind, felt the love, fear, and then their connection failed.

Christy watched herself slam into her double in the next world, and she stood quietly as the Emma with her watched her kill a man. Emma said nothing about it, just turned to Christy and touched her as that world faced into a warm and elegant room that never existed in Christy's mind. "I felt her touch you, your lover. She was afraid for you. She was scared you'd be alone in hell." Christy just nodded, her mind still treasuring even the memory of a mental touch from her Queen. "I need to see more." Emma spoke and it sounded like the woman was already seeing something that Christy didn't.

"The next one isn't as traumatic. No one dies." Christy answered and felt the pressure in her mind increase as Emma sought that moment out. Christy helped her by thinking about it more actively.

There was no watching the next one, Christy was slammed into the past to relive it. "Keep her in mind." Emma yelled over the wind. Christy took one moment to look at the woman, looking so young in her amazement in Scythe. So young and so beautiful. Keeping Emma in mind had never been a problem for Christy.

Her eyes moved to her doubles wide eyes, eyes that seemed more aware than Christy expected her to be. "Sorry." Christy mouthed to her.

"Thank you." That woman told her and then Christy just turned and ran for Scythe. Dragging out the goodbyes just made it harder and she needed to be able to concentrate. Emma, I'm coming home, She mentally called out. She felt a different Emma, her friend's mental touch, before the ride began again. The light, shadows, and turbulence that marked the crossing of realities.

"What did you find on the next world?" Emma asked as Christy stood in the middle of an alley. Her ex walked passed it with a younger Christy, and Emma's words trailed off. "You went to the past?"

"Yes." Christy shook her head a little as she watched her ex walk by with a clearly irritated Christy, proof that it was her in that body. "I spent a day making my plan and then I hunted down your double in college. She was new to her powers, but she was more than willing to train so she could help me."

"So is that your ex?" Emma asked, taking a step out so she could still see the others. Christy only hesitated a moment before following.

"Yeah." Christy felt awkward having Emma see Michelle.

"You look so innocent." Emma spoke while looking at the two crossing the street.

"Well, in this world so did you." Christy sighed. "Things change."

"They certainly do." Emma spoke slowly, and turned to Christy with a sigh of her own. "Shall we do it again?"

Christy nodded, and focused on her trip out of this world, but her anxiety increased to the point that she felt Emma having to help her focus. "Just the way in and the way out. Don't look around." Christy spoke firmly as the city street started to turn into a darkened winter night.

Christy found herself walking in the woods along with a younger Emma and Astrid. The woods were quiet and Christy's scream echoed, birds and the other animals fleeing filled the silence between the first and second scream as Christy fell in the lights and shadows of her portal once again. "Emma…" She prayed as she left the younger world. She focused on an older, more confident Emma.

A moment later she found herself staring up at the White Queen. The memory shattered as Christy fought to keep what happened in this world to herself. An older and gentler Emma stood before her and helped her stand up. "I remember those days." Emma spoke quietly and looked away from her. "but what my Christy told me, I want you to know I never… Sex was rather free there, it wasn't necessary to force anyone."

"They didn't do it because it was necessary, they did it because they could." Christy's voice was cold and bitter. "Let's just get out of here."

"One thing about being a victim of this type of abuse." Emma spoke and Christy wished she wouldn't. "It doesn't matter what you may or may not have done. It's never your fault."

"How nice, now can we go?" Christy gritted her teeth and focused on leaving, and the morning at the pool, not wanting this Emma to see anything else. It was the only thing she could do for her double in this world, to spare her lover pain.

The pool house was warm, and in the winter that was very appreciated. Christy found herself looking at Raven, before walking into another portal. The world faded and it felt strange to not have an Emma there to send her off, just a Mystique and her heartbroken double. The swirling lights and cold of her portal never felt more lonely. In her mind she prayed for some god to take care of the people she was leaving behind in this world.

Christy stared at the headstone again, and stood up wiping the grave dirt from her hands, before turning to see Emma standing beside the grave as well. "I'm glad that you and my double are together, because otherwise it was just them." Christy turned to stare at the headstone again. "She didn't even know she could have left. They died and they didn't need to."

"Did they die together?" Emma asked and Christy shook her head. "Christine had to bury her lover, her wife, after finding her body and seeing how she'd been tortured. Christine buried her and then willed herself to die. That's something I wish I didn't know I could do."

"She must have never been so alone." Emma spoke slowly and Christy looked up at the blonde, seeing a thoughtful expression that reminded her of her own lover putting together the pieces of a puzzle.

"She still had Mystique. They weren't lovers, but they were close. She left her. Died right in front of her." Christy spoke and watched that being considered with a nod of the blonde telepath's head. It was almost like Emma expected it.

"There is just one more left isn't there?" Emma asked and Christy had to look away from the sky to see her. "I think I see what is happening, but lets look at the last one."

"You see something?" Christy stared into blue eyes, a bit amazed. Emma gave her a small smile.

Christy found herself holding Mystique's unconscious body to her own as she ran for the portal. Christy jumped into the portal with bullets following her and focused on one thing, "Help." She called out as she clung to Mystique's body, hoping the woman could make it to medical help in time.

Emma and Christy then were standing on the Institute grounds and watched as the Healer worked on Mystique. "You are controlling the portal. You've gone where you were focusing every time." Emma spoke and Christy stared incredulously at the woman.

…………….

"What do you mean I controlled it?" Christy asked after a moment of tense silence. She stared at the blonde that looked so much like her own lover, but Christy's eyes were cold. She didn't want to hear that she had control, because clearly she didn't.

"There is a pattern to your stray thoughts and where you ended up. It's a consistent pattern. I started to be able to anticipate what would happen as I listened in on your thoughts while jumping into the portal." Emma sighed and seemed to relax, while leaning against a tall back chair that hadn't been there a moment ago. They were still in Christy's mind, and the chair looked like it was from the dining room at home. "Your lover touched your mind with fear and desperation for you, she influenced your arrival in a destroyed Manhattan. Her fear that you'd be alone and in danger affected your own thoughts, and you found yourself alone and in danger."

Christy's eyebrows drew together, not seeing a strong connection, not as strong as Emma claimed. Emma spoke again. "Then you left there with a stray thought of how young that Emma looked when she was impressed with your powers. You ended up in the past. Do you see a pattern yet?" Emma's eyes seemed to soften as Christy sat at the dining table that had slowly appeared with other chairs. "Then you tried to compensate by pointing to an older and more confident Emma, and I learned all about confidence at the Hellfire club." Emma pulled a chair out. "Then you left thinking it was strange that there was no Emma, just a heartbroken double and Mystique."

"And I ended up in a world with no Emma, a Christine that died of a broken heart, and a Mystique." Christy spoke slowly as she filled it in. "Oh God." Christy's voice cracked as she saw it all now.

"Telepaths learn to control their stray thoughts." Emma spoke gently. "But you never did. It's something we will need to work on. You see something and you process it immediately, it's human, it's normal, and it's what keeps you from finding home. We need to train you to focus harder and block those thoughts out." Emma reached out and Christy slowly put her own hand out on the table so Emma could take it. "Keep working on your journals, and I'll start working with you on focusing and meditation. I'm sure that Blink will have her own ideas of what you need to learn, and we can discuss them with her later."

"I did this?" Christy said it quietly, thinking of the other versions of herself and the damage her presence caused. Raven was foremost in her mind, but the others had been touched by this as well.

"You will learn to control this, and since even other people from other worlds have come to say Mystique can't stay, you will have time to learn to do it. Mystique will need to be at her best before she can leave." Emma's voice was soft and her caress on Christy's hand was gently as it pulled away. Christy took a deep breath and nodded. Mystique was at least one good thing she did, she saved her. Raven and the others might have been better off never meeting Christy, but Christy did help Mystique.

"Can I speak to my Christy about this?" Emma asked and Christy looked up. "If this ever happened to her, well…"

"Of course." Christy wasn't expecting some sort of patient confidentiality, but it made her feel better that Emma asked.

"Did you ever get your dinner?" Emma asked and Christy shook her head no, as the world shifted and she found herself out of the astral plane and back into Emma's room. "You could join us."

"I think I need to talk with Mystique." Christy declined gently.

"Okay, I'll meet with you and Blink tomorrow and we can work out a training schedule." Emma's head tilted a little. "And it couldn't hurt for you to train with us. When you get home you have a battle on your hands."

"I know." Christy stared into blue eyes with a resigned look.

"Why are they attacking your lover?" Emma asked.

"Politics. My Emma has great dreams for the future and not everyone agrees." Christy stared down at the soft looking rug. "Some people think their dreams are the only dreams."

"I suggest you train with a few of the Xmen, and plan a strategy for when you get home. I'll help arrange sparring sessions for you." Emma stood up and Christy took just a moment before she did as well. It would help, but she hadn't even taken time to focus on what would happen once she got home. Maybe it was time to consider it.

………………

Christy crept into the med lab as silently as possible, seeing that Mystique was laying down. It was when she got closer that she saw the woman had her eyes opened and was staring at the wall, lost in thought. "Hey." Christy spoke softly, hoping to not startle Mystique.

"I had a visitor." Mystique spoke quietly as Christy moved to the side of her bed. Christy could see Mystique was distracted and tired.

"TJ." Christy filled in that she knew. "She's reminds me of you." Christy's hand moved to caress a blue arm. "Playful."

Mystique's eyes moved to Christy, and they didn't look very playful at the moment. It was a serious looking Mystique that stared at her. "She says she's the granddaughter of a double of mine."

"Yeah." Christy smoothed the blanket over Mystique gently.

"You see this often?" the blue woman asked and Christy had to take a moment to guess what Mystique was asking.

"What? Different worlds? People who lived different lives? Yeah, I've seen it a few times. I've met three Mystique's in my life, and five Emma's. I've met several of my own doubles, some more completely than others." Christy sighed. "I thought you'd like to meet her. She's someone to be proud of. I wanted you to see her, to know that even lost like we are, we're never really alone."

"She has my eyes don't you think?" Mystique spoke and Christy looked up puzzled, before she saw the hint of a smile.

"Yeah," Christy smiled back just a little, thinking the dark blue skin was a more obvious family feature.

"So are you going to work with her friend Blink?" Mystique asked after a long moment of silence.

"I think so." Christy answered while her hand moved to hold Mystique's. The woman was healing a bit faster than normal, but it would be a while before she could leave the bed without risking opening a wound. "Are you okay down here? Need anything? Magazines? Books? Porn?"

"I'm not really healthy enough for porn just yet." Mystique smiled just a little. "But I wouldn't mind something to read, or maybe some movies."

"Anything special?" Christy would bring whatever Mystique wanted before breakfast. With the new training Christy was going to have to leave Mystique's side a bit more. Maybe she could talk TJ and Christine into taking shifts being with Mystique.

……………

"Can you show me your portal?" Blink asked as they sat in the empty classroom.

Christy sighed. "Not really. I'm not powered up yet." Blink's eyebrow rose a bit. "I have to power up to make one, and it takes time. I just made one a few days ago, so it'll be a while before I can make another one." She didn't elaborate on how she powered up.

"Oh." Blink looked a little stumped by that. After a moment she stood up. "Well, how about I show you mine?" Blink took Christy's hand and helped her stand, not that Christy needed help. "A quick trip to the pool and back." Blink spoke and the portal formed under them.

Christy felt a moment of panic at being sent through a portal, but the pool came into focus a fraction of a second later. She looked around at the sky, and the people walking around. She knew that Blink didn't send them to another world, but since she'd never teleported without a horrible disappointment on the other side she wasn't relaxed.

"I say we drop in on TJ and wake her up." Blink smiled just a little and Christy forced herself to nod in approval. The portal crossed over her again and Christy tried to pay attention to the way it happened so quickly, before they appeared in a darkened bedroom with a very tangled up TJ in bed.

"Go away." TJ muttered as Blink said hello.

"It's nearly ten." Blink told the tired blue woman in the bed and Christy must smiled a little to see the light teasing and the way TJ just tiredly curled up in bed. Blink turned to Christy and made no attempt to keep her voice down. "Shall we leave grumpy here and go on with our day?"

"Yes please." TJ answered for Christy and Christy just stared at the woman, carefully taking in the family resemblance. TJ's eyes opened and Christy just nodded hello, before Blink took her hand and they were off again.

"You move so fast." Christy took a moment to speak as she stared out at the grounds from the roof of the main building. "If I blinked I'd miss it." Christy turned to see Blink smirk just a little. The power probably lead to her name, chances were Blink wasn't named that at birth. In fact Christy vaguely remembered another name, but not clear enough to recall it. "My portal is a bit different. I'm inside long enough to fall, and more than long enough to notice it."

"Well, you are traveling further than I do." Blink sat down near the edge of a roof and looked out at the trees. "But the Timebroker makes our dimensional hops relatively smooth."

They stared out at the grounds in silence for a moment, and Christy took the time to study the profile of Blink as well. The Exiles were fighting for the same thing she was, a way home. Christy felt a little bad for them, understanding the pain. She at least had the power to go home on her own, with their help. No one else was making her dimension hop to right vague wrongs.

"Have you ever teleported with other people like this?" Blink turned and seemed to shake off her thoughts and focus on the lesson at hand.

"No." Christy had very little contact with the teleporter that worked security with them at home, he was on another team.

"Let me explain how I'm doing it." Blink said and Christy found herself listening to a brief lecture about visualization and determination on the roof of the Xavier institute.

…………….

The next day Emma and Blink spent most of the time together with Christy talking with each other. They discussed portals, and all the connections between telepathy and teleportation, in the mental discipline, and Christy quietly listened.

That meeting ended with a plan, one that the two women understood and one that Christy was just going to go along with. They sounded like they knew what they were talking about.

Once that meeting was over Christy held back as Emma went to her class and Blink went to meet TJ and the others. She slowly made her way down the hallways to the library and moved to find a book on teleportation, so that maybe next time others spoke she could relate. Her own Emma had been more experiential in her approach to training Christy, and now they were talking theory. Christy didn't know theory.

Part of her was disappointed in her own lover for having so little time that they never delved this deeply. It hadn't seemed necessary, since Christy was never supposed to go through her own portal again. It was her one major complaint about being Emma Frost's lover, that her lover worked so hard that free time was limited. She loved her blonde telepath dearly, missed her horribly, and felt so let down now, realizing that Emma most likely had been capable to teaching Christy more, but this meeting or that presentation always got in the way. Christy had held her tongue for years, understanding, thinking that it was just a night, or just a weekend, being taken from her. Now it was apparent it was far more, those meetings and presentations, those visits to other cities, they all lead to this mess. Christy could have known how to go home if she'd been trained more thoroughly, but her Emma wasn't a teacher anymore.

Christy sighed heavily and sat down, but she didn't open up the book she'd found, instead she let her mind wander down the painful road of regrets. She remembered missed dinners, holidays briefly celebrated later, and the anniversary where she was finally getting her lover's undivided attention being crashed by people that disagreed with Emma's politics.

Christy's eyes watered as she let that traitorous thread of thought hit her and Christy leaned forward in the chair. Her elbows resting on the table and her head in her hands, Christy let herself cry. Her body shook as she struggled to keep it silent, and part of her cursed herself for breaking down again.

Christy and her Emma had made big mistakes with these powers, and they were both paying a cruel price.

…………..

"They could probably get you your own room." Christy spoke as Mystique stood, her body hunched over just a little, showing she wasn't as healthy as she'd pretended to be when Hank was there. "But I don't mind sharing."

"Training going well?" Mystique asked as she slowly shifted while taking off the hospital gown. Her body formed pants and a loose shirt. It was a rather casual and comfortable look, and one that Mystique looked a bit foreign in. Christy would never see her own Mystique in loose fitting clothes.

"Seems to be, but it's hard to tell. Emma says I'm starting to control my thoughts better, but the only way to know is to leave here, and I don't feel confident enough for that. We just barely started." Christy moved forward and held Mystique's arm to steady her. Her voice softened. "Are you really ready to leave the lab?"

"If I have to stay one more night in this lab I may have to kill someone, and that wouldn't go with that Xmen image you've planted about me." Mystique's voice was low and dangerous and Christy just nodded.

"You probably should stay another week. You were shot, and you weren't all that healthy before you got shot." Christy pointed out wearily. Mystique's patience with the hotel bed only lasted three weeks. When she received a dirty look from Mystique Christy gave up her weak attempt at getting Mystique to see reason. If the woman started to backslide she'd pick her up and carry her back down to the medlab, but she'd give Mystique the chance to prove she could follow doctor's orders first.

"You need anything, you ask." Christy moved to stand beside Mystique, giving the woman someone she could lean on if she needed to as they made for the doors.

"I need a room to sleep in." Mystique smiled just a little. "I was thinking of yours."

"That's fine." Christy spoke quietly, thinking maybe then she'd be able to get a full nights sleep. Having a warm body next to her helped. She'd always slept better on the nights where Mystique slipped into her bed on the last world.

They managed to get down the hall carefully, while making it look casual. Christy supported a lot more of Mystique's weight than one would be able to guess as they stood waiting for the elevator.

"The minute you push yourself too hard I'll carry you down to the med lab myself." Christy spoke quietly as the elevator doors closed with them inside.

"Kinky little thing aren't you." Mystique's voice was a little clipped. "And overconfident."

"Hey, you're injured." Christy grinned just a little while staring at the floor readout above the door. "Only chance I'll get to beat you down and carry you around." Her mind wandered to her own Mystique, although that distinction was fuzzy, because she was considering this one hers as well. Even though Christy was stronger and faster, she never had won a sparring match with any Mystique. Maybe with four holes in Mystique it would be easier, but Christy hoped Mystique wasn't that stubborn.

………..

"Stop mother henning me." Mystique snapped at her when Christy just raised an eyebrow in question about the blue woman taking a shower. "I can manage to stand up long enough to shower, and I'm sick and tired of sponge baths."

"Oh, but I was looking so forward to giving you one." Christy spoke with flat sarcasm. Mystique was far from a good patient, but she did stop snapping at Christy as she went into the bathroom.

The water started and Christy sat back on the couch with a sigh, hoping that Mystique was taking her pain medicine as well, because the pain was making her grumpy.

The soft knock on the door was familiar and Christy sighed just a little as she got up from her comfortable spot on the couch to answer the door for her double.

That Christine stood at her own doorway patiently. "I just wanted to tell you I'll be away for the weekend, but Emma said she plans to continue the training with just you." Christy just nodded. The meditation and focus training had included them both, because Emma was cautious. She didn't want her own lover lost like Christy was someday. The way Christine stood at the doorway, shifting just a little from foot to foot seemed like she wanted inside, so Christy stood back and let her double inside.

"Mystique is showering." Christy explained the water running as she closed the door.

"I'm leaving to meet with my Mystique for training." Christine smiled just a little. "I can't wait until she sees the progress I've made." Christy nodded, aware of the progress because she'd worked with Christine a few times. "I just wanted to…" Christine sighed. "Nobody but the professor and Emma know where I'm going, but I just wanted you to know. The others think I'm taking some me time. I don't even know what that means, but the professor is claiming I need a break from the school. We really need to come up with a better cover."

"Have you considered claiming you're out recruiting a student?" Christy asked.

Christine gave one brief humorless chuckle. "Somehow I think Scott would object to me out meeting poor impressionable students by myself."

"Okay, well, I don't have anything better for you." Christy shrugged and sat back down on the couch.

"Don't worry about it, when this cover falls apart the Professor will have to consider a half truth, that I'm in training." Christine sat down on the chair and leaned forward. "How are you doing? Sleeping any better?" Her voice was softer.

"I'm fine." Christy sighed and then her mind started in another direction, something she had learned to curse because her wandering mind was something she was learning to fight, but it came with an idea. "Could you do something for me while you're gone?"

They talked for fifteen minutes, and while Christine was a little reluctant she agreed to talk with her Mystique for Christy. Just a few questions Christy needed answered.

When the water stopped running her guest stood up and moved to leave. Mystique came out later with damp slicked back hair and a silky looking pair of red pajamas, a button top and shorts. "I'm tired, I'm just going to turn in." It was only nine, so Christy guessed that the pain medicine had been taken. That was good.

"I'll write for a bit." Christy turned off the main light and kept the small reading light on. Her journal in front of her she started to write about the world she wanted to see again while Mystique crawled into bed. It was two more hours before she tried to join her, well before her normal time to attempt sleep, but Christy found the sound of Mystique's light breathing soothing.

…………

It was still dark in the room when Christy woke up, feeling someone cuddling up to her side. She looked down to see Mystique's arm over her body, holding her, and while they'd found themselves in similar situations before, there was something more tender about it this time. Christy pulled her arm around slowly and held the older woman to her gently and sighed.

"You know, if I were a bit healthier, I'd consider doing more than cuddle with you." Mystique's voice was quiet as she spoke and Christy smiled just a little at hearing it. Now she knew Mystique's position was by choice.

"And if I weren't incredibly taken I might consider it." She whispered back. Part of her cringed at thinking about her lover at that moment, knowing she'd been unfaithful. She just had to believe what happened with Tessa and that Emma had to be forgivable. "I know I'd consider it." She spoke a bit more softly, trying to convey her affection in a safe way.

"I wish I didn't hear that from you Christine's so often." Mystique sighed and Christy felt regret and sympathy for the shapeshifter. It did verify a hunch she'd had though.

"I wish I didn't have to say it." Christy admitted quietly. "I've had to say it twice."

"Your own Mystique?" Mystique asked quietly and it didn't really need an answer.

"It's never easy, there is a lot in you to be attracted to." Christy hugged Mystique one armed and gently kissed her forehead.

"Well I can be anyone." Mystique's voice was slightly more upbeat, and Christy couldn't tell if it was faked or not.

"Well yeah, but I kinda think blue skin is hot." Christy teased, trying to get the serious air broken and she felt Mystique laugh just a little. "Red hair is pretty hot too."

Mystique cuddled a little closer and spoke softly, tenderly. "You've been away from home for over a year now. My Irene used to forgive me little flings if it had been that long." A gentle hand caressed Christy's arm. "Or is it because you were raped?" Christy's body tensed a little. She hadn't really told Mystique about that. "Because a gentle and patient lover can help you heal, I know this. I've been there."

Christy really had no idea what to say in response, and it felt like the silence was stifling. Her eyes were wide and her body a bit tense as Mystique gently caressed her arm. "I… ah…"

"It isn't hard to see if you know what to look for. It was rather recent for you, that world before mine." Mystique told her gently and turned over carefully, letting go and facing away. "Just know that I'd never hurt you. I owe you a lot, and I really do like you. Consider it."

It took Christy a few nervous moments before she moved closer to carefully spoon Mystique from behind, moving her arm around the woman. "I can't. I just can't. I have to go home and we'll have too much to deal with as is." Her eyes became teary and her voice raspy. "But I like your closeness, it helps. Can I just have that?" Mystique's fingers threaded through the fingers of the hand holding her in response, and it took a while, but Christy fell back to sleep.

……………

It was nearly Halloween, her powers were fully charged, and Mystique was still recovering from two years of a limited diet. The older shapeshifter was moving easier, starting to shift more quickly, and the bullet wounds were faded scars that she said would be disguised and completely gone in another month.

Christy was still in training, and while her mind was a bit better, it took a lot to hold stray thoughts out. That was why they weren't leaving yet. Blink didn't seem to mind, because as missions go it was a rather easy one for her. No danger, just teaching a couple of hours a day and the rest of the day was hers.

Reading her homework on meditation was a bit relaxing on its own, but when Christy looked up from the table in the library she was working in her breathing stopped and her eyes widened.

"Tessa." The word came out as a whisper as the dark haired woman stood in the doorway looking at her. Feelings flooded through her, a spike of adrenaline at the studying look and familiar stance. Tessa was older, but it took a moment for Christy to also think that this was a different Tessa as well.

The small feeling of safety faded with that realization and the small smile faded on her face as she strove for a more appropriate response to a stranger.

"I heard you'd asked about me." Tessa spoke calmly while stepping into the library. "That it was the first question you asked."

It took just a moment for Christy to remember the day she'd arrived in this world and how she'd measured the Xmen's trustworthiness by their answer about Tessa. It made this a little awkward, but Christy went with honesty. "I needed to know you weren't in the Hellfire club anymore." Christy sighed when Tessa just gave her more silence to talk in. "I went to a world where you were, and the Professor in that world was a complete bastard. If you had been stuck there I wouldn't have stayed here. If this Professor left you there, well what I saw of that place fit its name. I couldn't trust a man that would do that."

Christy studied Tessa for any reaction to her words, but this Tessa held her emotions even closer than the last.

"I was there, and I did spy for years." Tessa filled in what small hints from Emma had revealed earlier.

"And I don't turn my back on him." Christy admitted flatly, showing her displeasure. "I don't leave him alone with Mystique, and I don't tell him anything I don't have to."

"Yes, he suspected that." Tessa moved to the chair across the table and pulled it out to sit on it. "It's why he asked me to come back, to talk with you." Tessa paused. "I'm called Sage here, I don't respond to Tessa. Emma seems to forget that often, but the others respect my choice of name."

Sage, first the thought of a flower came to her mind, and then Christy considered the other meaning. It fit, Tessa was rather smart, wise. Still it would take effort, just like calling her double Raven had taken effort to remember in the beginning. "I met a Tessa." Christy admitted quietly. It was a little awkward. "She loved my double. Their love was very inspiring, or it would have been if the Professor hadn't torn them apart so he could have his spy. He destroyed their lives. I can't even begin to tell you how evil he was."

That earned a sharper look, a more penetrating one, and a small brief look of surprise. Emma had this version of Christy in this world, so maybe mentioning this was cruel. It also let her see something in Sage's eyes that were a little regretful and cemented her own strategy to avoid the Professor and not trust him. This woman was lonely, and knowing how caring and sacrificing she was, it was a tragedy that she was alone.

It was then that it was clear Raven's insight into her lover lived on in Christy now. Thinking of the clues she'd used, without Raven's insight she never would have seen it.

"This man is a different Professor. I've not been destroyed, damaged I will admit to, but far from destroyed." Sage spoke softly. It wouldn't be the words the Professor wanted her to admit to. Christy nodded in understanding. "He isn't pure evil."

"I've met three Professors, and the morality of them all is brought into question. I'll admit I live in a glass house. I've done some pretty questionable things in my life, but he makes me cringe." Christy's voice deepened and she sighed. "He's a dreamer, and one that doesn't respect other dreams. The one on the world I call home is that way, Raven, my double, her Professor is that way, and my double here is the one that let me know it may be that way in this world. She doesn't trust him, so why should I?"

"I didn't realize she didn't." Tessa, no Sage, Christy reminded herself, looked a bit thoughtful. "Well, I can't really change your mind. But I can give him a few things to think about when he asks why you avoid him."

"Okay." Christy nodded her agreement. At least Sage was honest that she reported on her.

"Ororo wanted to know if you'd like to go to the mall with us." Sage mentioned it casually, but there was still a hint in her body language that the mall wasn't her favorite place to be.

"No, I'd rather stay here." Christy sighed. She hadn't left since she got here, not wanting to leave Mystique alone. The place was growing very boring, but until Mystique wanted to go out she wasn't going to. Perhaps soon Mystique would feel up to it. She had started physical therapy to gain back some of the muscle her diet had robbed her of. Christy had no idea how lucky she'd been to not have to recover like this, her body was back to healthy looking three days after her arrival after her homeworld died.

When Sage stood up Christy found herself speaking before thinking. "Live your own dreams Sage. Your double didn't listen to me. She didn't listen to my double, and she was miserable and tortured. You saved his life, and he repaid you by taking away yours. An honorable man would have used his power to ensure you lived your own dreams, he wouldn't have bent his savior's life into hell for his." These were words that Christy had thought up for Tessa too late, but she watched as Sage listened and nodded just a little. Maybe Sage would listen.

…………

December was harder than she thought it would be. Christy sighed as she listened to the Christmas music the Xman next door was listening to and found she couldn't relax. Visions of that club filled her mind and so she shifted a coat on and left her room with a heavy sigh.

This wasn't really the time of year to feel like this, and Christy was determined that at some point in her future she'd be able to sit in the living room with her Emma listening to music and decorating trees, but that wasn't this year. It was a little disappointing that it hadn't even been a year since that last Christmas. Her leaps had brought this month to her even sooner. Perhaps a full year to recover would have made it so that the mere sight of people decorating didn't make her feel trapped.

She made her way down to the danger room level and wandered over to the room to see if maybe she was lucky and it wasn't booked. A lot of Xmen were into shopping right now, so she had a shot at least.

The sound of some sort of battle disappointed her and Christy passed the entrance to the danger room to make her way to the control room to see if it was anyone that might welcome her joining them. Not everyone would. Logan preferred to train alone, Scott preferred to train with anyone but her, and some people's powers were so different from her own that the scenarios they picked just wouldn't do anything for her.

The control room wasn't empty, Christy noticed Hank watching the windows first and when she turned to look out she stared as she watched Mystique dodging an attacking and flipping over a tall crate. Mystique was using her arms easily and Christy took a few steps closer to watch as her friend rolled and then ran. "She's looking good." Christy offered to the doctor monitoring Mystique. The way Mystique moved was a bit more fluid than it had been when they were working together on Mystique's home world. It looked like the older spy had been keeping secrets, because this looked recovered to Christy.

"She's been pushing herself rather hard lately. I don't think she wants to spend Christmas with us." Hank spoke quietly as he glanced at reading he was getting on Mystique's physical health during the workout and Christy just watched with a growing smile as Mystique took out two opponents and kept moving. "She has me here to prove that she deserves a clean bill of health, because you said you would want that in writing before you left."

"Did she earn it?" Christy's hand moved to touch the window as Mystique climbed and kicked.

"I believe she has." Hank told her and Christy felt proud, proud of Mystique and proud of herself. Here was one woman she'd saved, and it looked like Mystique would be okay. Now Christy just needed to work on her own plan, her own surprise. It looked like she may even be able to give Mystique a new world for Christmas.

It sure helped to make Christmas seem a lot brighter.

……………..

The crowd was rather large, especially considering how cold it was outside. Christy watched as Mystique said her goodbyes to TJ. The Exiles expected to be sent away as soon as Christy left, and this time they had their own backpacks. Mystique's influence, Emma's money, and Christine's donation of time had given the Exiles that.

Christy and Mystique had their own care packages of money and supplies.

"You have made a lot of progress." Emma spoke quietly from beside her. "I really believe you can do this."

"I can." Mystique was looking a bit sad about the loss of her one acknowledged family member from here, the native Rogue and Kurt hadn't been willing to hang out with her very much. "Thank you for your help." Christy turned to look at the blonde telepath.

Emma smiled just a little. "Anytime."

"I'm sorry if my being here was inconvenient." Christy stared into the blonde's eyes. Her taking over Christine's room pushed Emma into moving faster in her own relationship than Christy knew her own lover preferred to, but she hadn't heard of problems. Of course neither woman was likely to make Christy feel guilty if there were.

"If I haven't manage to mess things up with Christine yet, well maybe we can really make a go of this." Emma reached out and rested a hand on Christy's shoulder. Her eyes became more serious. "Take care of yourself. That includes finding someone you can talk with." The only hint to the subtle pressure Emma had consistently put on Christy to open up about her ordeals. "And when you get home, you tell that Emma she needs to take time off, not a weekend, not a few days, but some serious time off and she needs to be there for you. You don't just deserve it, you need it." Emma took a deep breath and looked away for a moment before her eyes turned back to Christy's. "And if she can't do that for you, maybe you should go find your Mystique and rethink your relationship with your Emma, because if she can't see how painfully much you love her she doesn't deserve you." Those words hurt Emma to say and Christy to hear, but Christy just nodded rather than argue. Emma, this Emma meant well in saying them.

The people talking were a bit distracting, but Christy closed her eyes and rather than scream her portal into existence she visualized. Her mind focused Mystique, why she cared about the woman, and the words Christine had told her about her discussion with this worlds blue shape shifter. Christy focused on conversations with the woman that had shared her room for months, and Christy screamed.

Most of the crowd watching just wanted to see this portal, they'd never seen it. Christy kept her mind off of her double's flinch, or this Emma's careful study of the portal. Christy just held a hand out and Mystique took it.

"Toss me in any direction but the direction we're going." Christy gave one last direction to Mystique and then focused her mind harder on what she wanted as they stepped into the portal.

Lights and swirls surrounded them and Christy fought the urge to think of the people she'd met as she thought about a woman she'd never met, that was a part of her. She focused on a world that Mystique might like. The one that Blink had quietly informed her existed out there when they were alone.


	46. Hope 2 Part 1

500 Miles

Hope 2

By Princess Alexandria

Taylor listened to the soft sounds of the waves and sighed. She'd always loved the sound of water, it was soothing. She looked up at the blue sky and the warm spring day with a searching eye and then shook her head at the long instilled habit.

There was no asteroid up there, she knew it. She'd even purchased a telescope and checked herself. She'd started a rather strong interest in astronomy, taken a class, and learned who to read to know what was going on out there. Nothing was. Nothing had been for a year.

The sand was beautiful as well, Taylor thought as she looked down and then she started to walk. Her trip to this world had been strange, but staying in the vacation house while her double, the Christine that was supposed to be of this world, made love to her lover was beyond strange. Taylor decided a nice long walk would at least cut down on her unwanted voyeurism.

She was quiet as she walked, analyzing her own place in life now and feeling unhappy with it. She'd need to say something, do something. Standing around and watching her double live her life well wasn't helping her. Christine was generous and kind with her, gave her a place to stay, but Taylor needed more.

Living the life of a wife to her double while her double shared her love with Emma wasn't fulfilling. Taylor had no job, and truly didn't even know what she'd want to do now. Her past career as a writer had barely started when her world stopped. The few times she'd tried to write since then had descended into darkness and a morbid sort of semi-factual confessional. It exhausted her to write like that.

The sound of the waves intensified suddenly and Taylor looked up from the ground to stare with wide eyes at the portal that was right in front of her, bouncing the sound back at her. Her breathing started to race as she stepped back, away from it, seeing something coming her way.

"Fraulin, duck!" A german accented voice yelled out as Taylor did just that, and she could hear a pop, smell brimstone, and suddenly found herself several feet away blinking in shock. "You okay fraulin?" The male voice asked softly as Taylor stared at a large group of people pouring out of the portal holding hands.

Her eyes took in the scruffy clothes and the backpacks. She noticed the sharp cheek bones and the look in their eyes. Taylor didn't need for anyone to tell her where these people came from, she'd already been there. These people came from hell. What she didn't know was how they'd managed to use one of her portals.

The last person in the train fell out of the portal and the portal closed suddenly, actually almost on the woman. Taylor sucked in a breath in fear for her, but she'd made it.

"Does anyone need medical help?" Taylor said, her voice raising above the murmurs and shocked looks.

"They didn't make it." The last woman said, her voice a little horrified and all eyes moved to her. "Christy told me to stay with you all, but they didn't make it. Mystique was shot and Christy went back for her."

"Kitty." The blue man moved into Taylor's field of sight and he looked a bit stunned. Another woman with a stripe of white hair put her hand to her mouth in shock or pain. Taylor was pretty much ignored as the others shared their grief, and she started to understand what happened. A Christine had created this portal, one that knew what she could do before it was too late for everyone else. A Christine had sent these people to her, and Taylor stood a little taller, feeling the mantle of responsibility again.

Was it sad of her to be grateful for the opportunity? Or that these people were sent to her and not her double? She could understand their pain, and that they were no where ready to process it yet. They wouldn't be for a while. "This world is safe." She told them loud enough to gain even the scared teenagers attention. "There are no killer asteroids." She told them with certainty, but she didn't expect them to believe her. She looked at the few with obvious mutant appearances and nodded. She started to understand who they really were, and it was a bit sad that even Xmen would be caught up in an apocalypse. "So does anyone need immediate medical attention? If not we could make our way back to the beach house." Christine and Emma would just have to stop their sex marathon, but given how long it had been going on Taylor wasn't feeling any remorse for interrupting them.

Still as she walked with the group along the beach she moved around checking on people to verify herself that they weren't injured, just partly starved. She'd make it clear to Christine that she'd take care of the new strays. Emma could be a bit of a problem, but if Taylor explained she needed to do this the blonde should understand.

These were other survivors, and Taylor suppressed a tear as she recognized that. It was a little less lonely to not be the only one.

They arrived outside of Emma's vacation home and Taylor stopped for a moment. "Um, I just need to go inside and tell them we're here." She told Nightcrawler, who just nodded and turned to face the others.

Moving quickly without running Taylor moved to the front door and glanced back at the group just to make sure she wasn't imagining it, before walking inside. The sound of sex was still filling the house. Taylor just shook her head.

She made her way towards the sound and the door that contained the two lovers with a sigh. "Christine, Emma." She called out loudly and the noise stopped. Taylor imagined they were upset and surprised at her, but that didn't matter. "We've got a situation out here." She could hear some feet hit the floor and continued to talk as whoever was going to answer the door hopefully found some clothes. "Some double of me sent me twenty survivors." Her voice emphasized that they were sent to her. "I want to bring them in."

"What?" Emma stood in the door and Taylor wished it had been her double to answer the door. Emma was clad in a robe that only came to mid thigh. Her blonde hair was mussed and the smell of sex waft out onto Taylor from the room.

"I've got twenty survivors from a world like mine standing on the beach and I want to bring them in. They need help." Taylor spoke while staring into Emma's eyes.

"Oh, well we can," Emma stood a little taller and her eyes became a bit brighter as she thought and Taylor sighed. Emma looked like she was about to take control. The CEO was used to taking control.

"Please." Taylor's voice was just a touch pleading as well as she stared at Emma. "Please let me take care of this. I just didn't want you two to hear us and wander out." Naked, that was a real fear, they might have wandered out naked. "I need to do this." Taylor spoke quietly while staring at Emma.

"I could call a doctor." Emma said it quietly as well, apparently understanding.

"Not just yet. They don't look injured and I'm not sure they are ready for that." Taylor noticed her own double step into view of the opened door in a long tshirt now.

"But what if they're hurt?" Christine protested Taylor's words without understanding. Taylor's eyebrows drew together, wondering if she'd have to argue for this, for them.

"Christine, I think Taylor knows what she's doing." Emma turned to Christine and Taylor felt a little bit of surprise at the words, but Christine seemed to calm down. "We'll let you talk with them, but if you need assistance I'm here. I could have anything brought here for you, or anyone." Taylor nodded, grateful. "Let us know when they are ready for visitors. You can have the downstairs family room."

Christine looked a little put out, but the door closed and Taylor was able to leave to get her guests.

The vacation home was large and Taylor lead the others into the large downstairs room, where they could all sit and talk, or not talk, together. Taylor left them in there, seeing the shocked look on their faces and just nodded to Nightcrawler as she left for the kitchen to get them a snack and something to drink. They needed to talk with each other, to mourn.

It would have been nice to have someone to mourn with when she arrived in this world, Taylor thought with a bit of pain, as she opened the fridge to look for something she could make her guests. She wasn't worried about being rude and leaving them alone, at this point she would be surprised if they noticed time passing. She sure hadn't been able to notice that when it happened to her.

…………

"Fraulin, thank you." Nightcrawler had asked her to call him Kurt earlier, and he was clearly the leader of this group now. Taylor had heard enough to know that the role of leader had gone through a lot of changes lately, and it was new to him.

"I won't leave you alone here." Taylor stared into his eyes, thinking they were rather pretty. The yellow on blue was a nice look. It would have looked even better on a woman, Taylor thought with a bit of regret, remembering what losses this group had recently. Mystique died to get them here, that's what they truly believed. Mystique's son and daughter were taking that the hardest. "Just relax and get some sleep. I'm sorry I don't have rooms for you all."

"This is truly a generous offer fraulin, we are truly grateful." He bowed just a little. She left the survivors littering the floor and the couch in the room as she stepped out of the room to find Emma and Christine to talk.

Taylor never asked anything of Emma, but she was about to.

The two women were dressed and having tea on the balcony when Taylor stepped outside. She stared at them a moment, before moving forward. "I have them settled. They just lost a few of their own recently and are hurting." Christine waved at a seat at the table and Taylor took it, feeling like the third wheel, but pushing through it. "Emma, do you have a place for them to stay? They need to stay together."

Emma looked thoughtful as she considered. "There is somewhere. Perhaps my Massachusetts property would work. It was designed to hold a school before I had to give up on that idea. It hasn't been sold yet."

Taylor looked over at Christine, who was quietly watching her. "I want to move there with them." She spoke softly, feeling some regret at the surprised look on Christine's face. Taylor knew her double cared about her. "I need to do this." She explained softly.

"I'll arrange for transportation." Emma interrupted the silence after her words. "And I'll have one of my people prepare it for your arrival. I'll pay for supplies and the bills."

Taylor stood up and nodded to the blonde. "Thank you Emma." Before she could leave Christine stood up as well and pulled her into a hug.

"You take care of yourself as well." Christine ordered her and Taylor just held the woman she'd depended on since she'd gotten here.

…………..

When Emma said she'd arrange something she meant right now, Taylor thought a little surprised, as she took the information down about the plane Emma had arranged for that evening. It had only been four days and Emma had the property prepared, some fake id for everyone, and a plane ready to take them from sunny Miami to Massachusetts. "Uh, Thanks." Taylor looked up at the blonde, feeling a bit awkward.

There had been a time that Taylor loved this woman, in her own world, when this woman wasjust a character in a comic. When Christine met Emma and started to date her Taylor felt betrayed, but said nothing. When things became more serious and Christine started to have Emma stay over Taylor had felt dirty. And when Emma offered to have Christine move in with her, well Taylor had just felt in the way. In all that time Taylor did what she could to avoid being alone with Emma, talking with her, or being around the couple when they were together.

It still wasn't easy, but Taylor tensely gave a short hug to the blonde, for the help, before leaving a little abruptly to give the others their id cards.

They were a tired and sad looking group, Taylor thought as she stepped into the room to see them quietly talking to each other. They were also very overcrowded so this move should help with something. "We can head out tonight." She told them. It almost seemed like an order, so she softened her voice. "Do you guys think you're up for a flight? We could wait."

"We should be okay." Kitty spoke for them while glancing around to see if anyone disagreed. She got nothing but nods, so Taylor felt a bit better. They weren't very healthy looking at all, so she worried. Food and rest may help. And the doctor might be someone worth calling when they get there as well.

………..

The pile of vitamins and pills the doctor had prescribed for the lot was rather large, Taylor thought with a sigh as she endured the strange looks of the pharmacist while Kurt browsed the store for other supplies they might need. Apparently not many people came in with twenty people's prescriptions and a credit card.

Taylor turned away from the busily working pharmacist to look around the store, spotting a tense looking Kurt pushing a cart filled with other supplies. His shoulders slumped a little and it made him look skittish. He'd seemed so confident before they went out in public. If Kitty weren't busy doing internet searches Taylor was pretty sure he would have sent the woman instead.

Taylor noticed a few eyes looking at him, from various other shoppers and he seemed to wilt a little more with each pair of eyes. Shaking her head she moved toward him and when she was next to him she whispered. "You look far too thin, like you've been through hell. That's why they look, not because you're blue." She glanced around and noticed one concerned looking older woman looking at them. "Being a mutant here is rare, but it's seen just like being left handed."

"Fraulin, it's just a lot to adjust to." He turned to stare down at the shelves. "We were not treated very well in our own world. We were hated."

Taylor stared at him, knowing that his appearance would mean he was hated the most. It couldn't have been easy. Taylor leaned into him gently, resting the side of her arm against his, in a small affectionate bump. She gave him a small smile. "Not here. I've seen mutants walking around and never being bothered here. I wouldn't have invited you if I thought you'd be in danger."

"Taylor Jensen." A voice on the loudspeaker called her name and Taylor turned toward the pharmacy.

"Jensen?" Kurt asked quietly.

"My mother's maiden name." Taylor told him quietly. "I couldn't continue to be Christine Taylor when I came here, but I'm all that is left of my world. I wanted my name to mean something. I know it sounds a little odd." Her words trailed off as she walked to the back of the store to pick up the large order.

"It doesn't sound odd at all." Kurt told her, moving along with her. His tone was gentle and he softly touched her arm, stopping her. "I sometimes forget your pain. I'm sorry you were alone fraulin, but you aren't now." She squeezed his hand in thanks, but couldn't talk. She hadn't been completely alone, but now that other people truly understood, well it felt freeing. She didn't have to explain in great detail why she felt it was so important to pick the right name.

If this weren't Emma's card they wouldn't have been able to purchase all of this, Taylor thought as she handed the credit card over. Her double dating the blonde came in handy at times.

Kurt offered to pay with the cash he'd brought with him, but Taylor knew that money had to last. Emma would never run out. Also when Emma had heard that her own double died protecting these people, the teenagers especially, well Emma told Taylor to use the card often.

Kurt took the bag before Taylor could and smiled at her as they made their way out of the store. He even held the door opened for her, which felt a little strange to her. "I'm surprised at how many pills." She muttered as she got into the car with him. "I didn't need anything. I just healed on my own."

"Shapeshifters heal faster." Kurt spoke and Taylor turned to stare at him in a bit of surprised. "And you, well, you go beyond that."

"Shapeshifter?" Taylor asked quietly and Kurt turned toward her, his face turning to surprise.

"You don't know?" He sounded surprised, but Taylor just stared. She'd learned about how her body changed, but no one ever said she was a shapeshifter. "Both Christy's I've met are shapeshifters."

"Oh." Taylor spoke quietly and turned to stare at the dash as she considered that. More power, and a more useful one. She hadn't even known. Shaking her head a little Taylor decided to think about it later and started the car.

……………

"Half of us have doubles and half of us don't." Kitty spoke quietly while putting the files she'd printed out onto the table. Taylor watched as Kurt picked them up and started flipping through them. While he did that, Taylor watched Rogue watch Kitty in concern. It was then that she noticed the tense shoulders the younger woman had as she waited for Kurt to look at her files before reporting in. She could have talked while he looked, but she didn't.

"Oh," Kurt's disgusted voice told Taylor someone's file was not pleasant. She watched as pain and sympathy crossed his face.

"Sharon's double was killed by a drunk driver." Kitty spoke quietly, and Taylor sighed heavily thinking of the purple haired girl that seemed so innocent even after the end of her world.

Kitty apparently felt free to talk because she continued. "Rogue's double is in jail for stealing a car."

Rogue looked up at that and then just nodded, starting to take the sheets of paper that Kurt put down after having read them.

"Kurt never existed here. Mystique died on a mission for the allies in world war two." Taylor's jaw clenched a little at the sadness around the two Darkholme siblings. They'd chosen to take their mothers last name when id was offered, and Taylor understood it wasn't an easy choice for Kurt who hadn't been raised by her. Rogue's existence in this world was tied to the fact she was adopted.

"My double works for the police as a detective. She apparently works against child pornography and pedophiles. She's a web hound." Kitty spoke and Kurt sighed.

"Well, that's a very good career." He spoke up quietly.

"Yeah." Kitty sighed.

"You need each other more than you need your past lives." Taylor spoke softly, thinking of a few people that might want to walk into the vacancy their double's left. Someone had to be in a situation to choose, but none of the people at the table could. Rogue would not be better off pretending to be an ex-con, pretending to be a cop was a very bad idea for Kitty, and Kurt had no double at all.

"I know, but I'd hoped…" Kitty sighed. "It would have been nice to give some people their family back, but clearly it won't work."

"It was a good idea." Kurt told her gently. "And we needed to know."

……………

A month after they'd arrived Taylor was walking slowly along the paths around the mansion, there was no other way to describe Emma's home.

"He likes you." A quiet voice spoke and Taylor looked up to see Rogue moving up next to her.

"What?" Taylor's eyebrows drew together.

"Kurt, he likes yah." Rogue spoke and started to walk so Taylor walked with her. "Yah always invite him when you leave here. Do yah like him too?"

Taylor just slid her eyes to Rogue and stared a moment. This was about Kurt? "He's a nice guy." Taylor muttered and then looked over toward the trees, considering this new complication. She liked talking with him, he was polite, and she found the color blue interesting and soothing. Did he really think she was interested? Could she be, Taylor thought quietly. She'd refused Mark and regretted it. Could she be with a man and feel like it was right? It would be nice to not be alone.

Taylor's eyes trailed over Rogue and she found her answer. She couldn't. She barely spent time with Rogue in comparison, but she'd be much more comfortable with her as a lover. It was enough to tell her she was being desperate again, and she pushed thoughts of changing her sexuality away. "He's a fun guy, he listens." Taylor spoke gently while nibbling on her lower lip during the pause. "But no, I'm not… for a man I think he's very attractive. But I can't see myself." Taylor sighed heavily and moved to sit on a park bench that was placed along the path. "Blue skin and yellow eyes are rather striking, and I like looking, but…"

Rogue shook her head with a small sad half smile on her face. "Momma always did have lousy luck. You like the family traits and she's not here." Taylor's eyebrows drew together in some confusion, but she just decided to ignore the strange comment. "Maybe yah need to tell him that yah aren't the mythical heterosexual Christine sugah. He's been wondering if yah are."

"That's not going to be a fun conversation." Taylor sat back further on the bench with a sigh. After a moment of silence Taylor decided she'd have to have that talk. She could plan it later. "So how have you been doing? Any uncontrollable urges to steal my car?" Taylor smirked just a little at the small jab about Rogue's double and the playful narrowing of Rogue's eyes at her.

…………..

"I will be glad to never take another of these horsepills as long as I live." A teenager said while taking her last dose. Taylor looked at her and then smiled just a little, seeing a healthier looking skin and enough flesh to take away the slightly starved look. The medicine had done a lot of good for the others, they looked better. The doctor said they may be susceptible to disease for a while until their immune system caught up as well, but this was looking good.

Kurt smiled at her and sat down at the table with her, holding his dinner plate in his hands. When she'd talked with him about her interest in him as a friend he'd taken it well and didn't avoid her. She wasn't sure she would have been able to do that if she got the lets be friends speech from someone she was interested in. She'd need a few days to recover at least.

Taylor took another bite of her own meal as she considered how much better she felt. The two months since these people appeared had been, well, happy. Taylor sighed as she considered the cloud she'd lived under, and the shadow she'd lived in. She didn't really miss either, though she did occasionally miss talking with Christine, Kurt filled the confidante role well, and so did Rogue.

The others occasionally saw someone else when they looked at her, Taylor could tell they'd loved their own Christine, or Mrs. Frost-Taylor, as they'd said. The first time Taylor had heard that she'd almost choked, but now it was just a resigned fact that her doubles were lucky in love. She was starting to learn to live with it.

After eating Taylor had errands to run, and this time she was taking Kitty. The woman was determined to spend some of her own money and buy a computer that she wouldn't need to share with people eager to use the internet to learn more about their new home.

It would be interesting to see if the money passed as real. Given how straight laced Kitty was, Taylor was a little surprised that Kitty didn't see what they were about to do as passing counterfeit bills, because those bills weren't made here.

Taylor had no problem with the vague legalness of it all. The world would never know, and the endless universes more than owed it to its displaced residents to take care of them.

…………….

"I've been IM'ing with my double." Kitty spoke quietly as they drove into the parking lot and Taylor felt the air of a confession in the woman's words. "I didn't tell her who I am, but I was curious." Once Taylor had parked in front of the Circuit City she turned to look at Kitty with a sigh.

"We didn't live in this world. It took me a long time to accept that what Christine was able to do with her life, well, I couldn't try to compare it to mine. I still struggle with that at times. She never had to fight for her life like I did." Taylor spoke softly.

"No, no it's not that." Kitty spoke quickly and Taylor was a little embarrassed in her assuming Kitty had the same feelings of inadequacy Taylor fought. "She pretended to be a fourteen year old at first. She said some rather creepy things." Kitty sighed. "Her job is rather sick. She couldn't admit to me what she does, but I started sending her web addresses of sickos I've found. This world overall is peaceful, more peaceful than I've ever seen, but it still has a dark side. Thankfully it's hard to find on the net, makes me think it's at least not rampant." Taylor tilted her head a little. "What she does is important, and I thought I'd help."

"Eventually she may track you down." Taylor spoke gently, understanding the need to work for something meaningful after everything else. "Are you sure she doesn't think you're a predator sending a kid porno?"

"No, I don't think so. She's been subtly asking me things, letting hints drop. I think she knows I know she's a detective and wants to know how I figured it out." Kitty's voice was deeper as she explained the real problem, and it could be one.

"How did you figure her out?" Taylor asked.

"She's using my old IM id." Kitty sighed. "Her computer had my passwords as well."

"You broke into a police officers computer?" Taylor's eyes widened at that. This was a different type of crime than she was used to dealing with.

"I wanted to see who she was." Kitty defended her actions speaking quickly. "I accessed it remotely and covered my tracks. She shouldn't find out."

"Okay." Taylor pulled the keys out of the ignition and turned in her seat a little. "So if she never finds out, you still have to deal with her wanting to know how you know about her and what you might do with that information."

"If it had been me, I would be tearing my hair out wondering where the leak was. I'd want to make sure it wasn't going to ruin my work." Kitty sighed. "I should have thought of that before I contacted her."

Yeah, Taylor thought, you should have. She didn't say any of it though, because she could understand. She'd done some snooping on her own double at times in the beginning, trying to see what type of life she'd had. The difference was that Christine wasn't likely planning to lock her up for it. This other Kitty would be in for a surprise if she actually ever did track her online helper down.

"And this new computer is so you can still help her." Taylor stared into Kitty's eyes and sighed. "Okay. Thanks for the heads up." She smiled weakly and accepted it. Kitty needed to do this, it was obvious in her eyes.

"Thanks." Kitty stared a moment too long and then turned to get out of the car.

……………

"I've been out of school for years, but still when June hits, well it feels like freedom." Taylor spoke softly as she looked out to the tree line from the backyard patio at the beautiful morning. The sound of birds filled the air and it was perfect, just perfect.

"Ya ever think about writing again?" Rogue asked while moving forward to sit at the table, pouring some juice from the pitcher Taylor had brought with her. "You sound poetic."

Taylor gave Rogue a small smile, and wondered if she could write now. If enough time had gone by that exercising her creativity wouldn't pull images of death and pain into her mind. "Maybe someday." Taylor sighed before taking another sip from her own glass. "What about you? Planning to start a garage?" It had been a bit amusing when she'd found out that Rogue was a mechanic, considering why her double was in jail. The love of cars transcended realities.

"Not just yet, but maybe soon. Ah have enough to purchase a building." Rogue smiled just a little. "Momma made sure we all had enough to make a start of it."

"I wish I could have met her." Taylor spoke softly, this not being the first time Rogue said something about the woman with a little pride. Taylor had read a little about Mystique before, and had been a little intrigued, but the side of the woman that Rogue and the others revealed was almost noble. It was not what Taylor had expected.

Taylor didn't burst their bubble by explaining how she made her own portal, or that her double, the one that created the portal that saved the survivors was also powered by death. Chances were that Mystique and that Christy weren't just out scavenging for money while they were away from their home base.

If Taylor could have saved her own tribe that way she would have done it, but she hadn't known it was a possibility.

"My momma would have liked yah." Rogue sighed a bit. "She seemed to like all of you." Taylor's eyebrow rose at being lumped together with yet more doubles.

It was an awkward moment, but Taylor just finished her juice and stood up. "So what's training today?"

"I think you need to progress beyond just changing your hair and eyes." Rogue sat back and studied her. "But Ah do like what you've done with your hair. Red looks nice on you, and that short cut is downright playful." Taylor smiled a little shyly, glad that her change gained approval. Rogue was rather picky about clothes, hair and all. Taylor also liked how it made her look a little more different. People weren't looking at her like she was the dead Christine they loved, and Taylor felt a little more like herself and not an extension of other Christys. Once she decided on an eye color she liked she was going to give up blue eyes as well.

Once Taylor felt she had time to try and learn about her shapeshifting powers, well Rogue was the best they had to teach her. Rogue had lived with a shapeshifter. Occasionally Sharon worked with them, but Sharon turned into a giant purple cat. The girl didn't have the range that Taylor apparently would, and so her advice was rather limited. "Today we could work on something else," Rogue grinned a little as the southerner looked down a little. Taylor blushed once she realized Rogue was looking at Taylor's modest bust size. "Unsnap that bra and lets see if we can make that shirt tight on ya. It'll get you out of speeding tickets."

…………..

Taylor was embarrassed and doing her best to control her blush as Rogue stared at her to try and determine if progress had been made. "You have a cruel streak." Taylor muttered as Rogue moved a little closer to stare at her chest.

"Yes, and you've got some pointers there." Rogue's words made Taylor blush harder. The cool summer breeze went through her tshirt easily, and without a bra, well it gave a slight chill. "But Ah think you've done it."

Taylor just glared at the teasing look in Rogue's eyes while shifting her body back to normal.

Rogue smirked at her and Taylor couldn't help but glance down at Rogue's own bustline, one that was a bit larger than her own even though Rogue was still recovering, and it would doubtlessly become larger as Rogue reached her normal body weight again.

Taylor wished for something clever and biting to say in response to the teasing she'd endured. The sound of water startled her and Taylor turned to the side to stare with wide eyes. "Again?" She muttered as she took a step back while the portal formed in front of them.

A woman's voice spoke, coming towards them. "watch out." It would have been warning enough if the woman didn't suddenly appear. Two women, and Taylor froze as the blue woman shifted position, holding onto the other woman and seemed to toss the other woman away from her. They both crashed on either side of Taylor, leaving Taylor standing still between the two of them, still facing the portal. The blue female managed to land on her feet after an acrobatic tumble, but the other woman fell down hard.

The portal closed and Taylor stared down as a familiar looking woman moved to stand up slowly. Taylor watched as the woman in black pants and a black jacket stood, her hair tied back in a pony tail, and turned to face her. She caught the searching look, and the glance behind her that had Taylor shift to see that the blue woman was staring at her as well.

"So this is clearly not your home." It had to be Mystique, a Mystique. Taylor stared into yellow eyes and thought they really did look like Kurt's.

"I wasn't aiming for home." The other woman spoke and Taylor turned to her, but another voice interrupted the introduction she was about to make.

"Mama?"

Rogue took a tentative step towards them and her hopeful expression actually hurt Taylor, who expected Rogue to be disappointed.

"Rogue?" The blue woman's voice was surprised, and Taylor watched as Mystique moved closer to the woman. "Is it really you?"

"We all ran into the portal like Christy told us to, but Kitty said you were shot. We lost you both." Rogue spoke quickly.

"What did you bring with you?" The new Christy spoke quietly.

Rogue looked puzzled for a moment before she nodded, figuring out why they'd ask. "We all had backpacks, you gave us cash and I had my pictures in the bottom of it." Rogue barely got those words out before she was pulled into a hug and happy tears started to fall.

Taylor just stared as family was reunited, before she caught the soft whimper next to her. She looked over to see her own double, looking a bit like something out of a spy movie with the black fitted outfit and air of mystery smiling with tears on her face at the same time. "I did it." She heard the woman whisper. "I did it."

"You're the Christy they talked about?" Taylor asked quietly, still staring at the blue woman who seemed completely oblivious to them and Rogue who seemed unwilling to let her go. Yet another double, just what Taylor needed, she thought a little bitterly. She became angry inside, but did her best not to show it, because she'd started to build a life with these people, her own double here had understood why she wanted that, but now the survivors would see their Christy and where would that leave Taylor? Why couldn't she ever catch a break?


	47. Hope 2 Part 2

500 Miles

Hope 2

By Princess Alexandria

Taylor watched as the others surrounded the two new women, stared as they all seemed to talk over each other and Taylor sighed heavily. Her spot near the wall gave her a good view of smiling faces and long hugs. She knew it was a good thing for them, but Taylor hated feeling invisible.

With her head down she decided to just slip out the side door and leave the tribe to their reunion. She didn't belong, she'd only be in the way.

She found her way back to the patio she'd been at earlier with Rogue and mentally berated herself for her childish feelings. Taylor sat down heavily at the table and stared out at the nice summer day as she tuned out the happy reunion and just stared at the trees. She loved it here, it was the best gift she'd ever received. Just because it was over didn't mean it wasn't good. A tear trailed down her cheek as she wondered how long it would take before she was in the way here as she was with Christine, how long until she'd have to just admit that she had no place of her own and she had to just wander away alone.

Sometimes she wished she had died on her world. It was where she was meant to die, with people she belonged with. She sure as hell hadn't done much with the life she'd been given, anyone else from her world would have been a better choice for survival, but it was just her.

"I always put all my eggs in one basket." Taylor muttered to herself. "I never learn." She'd put all her hopes for a fulfilling life on these people. It wasn't really fair to put her life in others hands like that, not fair for anyone. She just wanted to be happy so badly she jumped in with everything, gave up her room at her doubles home, and now that room wasn't there. Christine was living with Emma now and there was no way Taylor could move in with them.

Taylor sat there and started to fantasize that it had been her own tribe that came out of that second portal, and how'd she'd feel. She couldn't blame anyone for forgetting about her, she did understand. She really did.

The sound of footsteps came later and Taylor moved in her seat a little, but didn't move her eyes from the blind staring she was doing at the trees. "Taylor." A german accented voice spoke up and Taylor finally blinked. She'd tortured herself with the fantasy of other survivors for a while and her heart hurt even more than when she came out there. "Oh Taylor." Kurt moved to kneel in front of her and it was then that Taylor noticed the tears on her cheeks. "Fraulin." His pretty yellow eyes looked concerned.

Taylor just sighed and wiped at her tears, embarrassed that anyone caught her crying at a time like this. Everyone else was happy. "Don't mind me, I'm just being…" morbid, her mind filled in silently. Kurt reached out almost like a lover and wiped a tear she missed gently. It would have been nice to be straight, Taylor thought, as a straight woman she wouldn't have been alone as much, because she always found good men that wanted her.

Maybe if she'd started dating one of these people she wouldn't feel like it was going to be so easy to lose her place in their lives.

"I wanted you to meet Mystique." Kurt sat back a little and glanced over her shoulder. That's when Taylor knew she'd entered a new realm of embarrassment, because there was clearly another witness behind her. One who probably thought she was upset because Mystique had arrived, not a great first impression. And it had to be someone that everyone in the group seemed to respect, that was just great. Running her hands through her hair Taylor turned, because there really was no way to not do it.

She'd seen the woman before, watched her, but seeing the woman staring at her felt strange and made her feel exposed. Taylor nodded politely. "Hello." Her voice managed to sound normal, which Taylor appreciated. She didn't stop her eyes from trailing over blue skin and taking in the yellow eyes fast enough to not be noticed. It really did look good on a woman.

"I've heard a bit about you Taylor." The word Taylor seemed a little stiff in delivery and Taylor knew that the word Christy would have fallen more easily from those lips. It took a little while for the others to get used to it as well. "When we planned to escape, well I had hopes for my people. I never did think to hope they would receive the type of help you gave them." Mystique glanced around the grounds. Her voice was distracted. "And to hear that Kurt can walk around the town freely as he is. This world…"

"I know." Taylor sighed just a little. "This is a good place to be a mutant." It would be harder for Mystique to adjust, Taylor thought, while remembering the woman from the comics. Mystique was used to battling prejudice and hating humans for it.

"It sounds like it." Mystique said a little slowly, and Taylor stared into her yellow eyes. Mystique sounded doubtful. There wasn't Taylor could really say to convince the woman, she'd just need to see it and experience it. A call from the house to the blue woman had Mystique turning to look towards one of the others while Taylor studied her a bit more.

Mystique was lost, Taylor saw it. She understood it, the same thing that made her look at the sky every night even when she knew it was safe was going to keep Mystique nervous and suspicious about how this world treated mutants. At least for a while. "I better go." Mystique didn't turn to leave right away, she did something that surprised Taylor. Mystique took her hand and squeezed it gently. "It really is good to meet you." Mystique's blue skin looked like winter and cold, but it was actually a bit warmer than normal. Soft in her touch as well. Taylor watched the woman walk away a moment, before hearing Kurt and looking over at him.

Kurt was watching her rather carefully. "Christy isn't going to stay any longer than it takes for her to recharge and leave again. She's not from our world, and she has a home she wants to see."

Taylor felt ashamed of herself when he saw her worry so plainly.

"Taylor, you are one of us. Don't forget that, ja." He spoke gently and caressed her hair.

"Okay." She nodded with a heavy sigh.

"Why don't you come inside and meet your double. The fraulin didn't come to see you because she wasn't sure she was welcome." Kurt held a hand out gallantly to help her stand and Taylor took it slowly. "We don't know her well, but we owe her much." Kurt whispered. "She did send us here to you after all."

Taylor blushed a little and gave a small smile. Kurt really did know what to say to stop her moods.

………………

It wasn't until almost nightfall that Taylor found herself actually alone with Christy. She'd been outside again, because Taylor really did like being outside in the summer, when she noticed the woman walking away from the house toward her. It was a bit dark, but Christy had no trouble seeing her, while Taylor had to wait until Christy was closer to see who it was walking toward her.

"Hey." The woman spoke and Taylor noticed the way that Christy seemed to move rather gracefully as she walked, she had a purposeful stride that almost seemed military. "I wanted to ask you for a favor."

"What?" Taylor shifted on the bench and watched Christy in the moonlight. Taylor had already checked the sky for the night and found it safe, but she felt a little better when she watched Christy look up and search as well.

"I'm guessing that it'll only take me a few weeks to power up, maybe a month." Christy sighed heavily and seemed to age a bit. "I want to know Mystique is comfortable here before I go. Perhaps you could show her around, get her out among people and let her see this world."

"Okay." Taylor's answer held some confusion, and she watched and Christy sat down beside her.

"I heard about your double here and Emma." Christy spoke softly and Taylor blushed a bit. "I am with an Emma and you must have heard about Christine, the one that died." Taylor stared down at the grass and grimaced. "But there are others of us out there that found other partners."

Taylor wanted to stop this discussion, it was awkward and painful. If Christy's voice hadn't gone to a very intimate and self confession whisper she might have. "I love Emma, and the double on the last world loved her Emma, and the one from their world loved her Emma." The words hurt, sounding like a constant hammer on why Taylor was alone. "But all three of us had something else in common too. I haven't told Mystique this, but I truly believe that the Christine that died loved her too. She didn't meet Mystique first. And my last double admitted that if she'd met her worlds Mystique first she might have started something with her." Taylor stared as Christy was now the one watching the grass. "My own Mystique, and this one… they are special to me as well." Christy looked up. "Do you understand?"

Taylor felt a little shocked as she heard this. Others had hinted that Mystique would have wanted to know her when they all thought the woman dead, but it looked like she was being set up with the woman now. She'd barely said a few words to Mystique and people were pushing for this?

"Just, just consider it." Christy spoke softly. "Get to know her and consider it."

Her double got up and walked away, she stopped for just a moment, not looking back. "I'm sharing a room with her, but it has more to do with the hell we went through so that I could create that portal we used to escape. I'm not her lover." Christy said and then finished walking away, leaving Taylor to stare at the stars alone.

……………….

The next morning Taylor was still thinking about Christy's words and whether she could invite Mystique with her on her errands instead of Kurt. How would Kurt feel about that, and why would Mystique want to spend time with a stranger when she just got back to her people?

Was even considering this just Taylor being desperate again? Taylor wasn't sure. The idea of dating someone sounded really good. She knew she probably had the same taste in women that any of her doubles did, and if Christy thought Mystique was worth it, well, maybe she was. Still this put her in a very awkward position, the position of pursuing a woman she didn't really know.

But god, what if it could be good with Mystique and before Taylor finally did something someone else asked the woman out? What if Taylor ended up being too late again, and found herself liking Mystique too late to do anything about it?

She sat down with her pitcher of juice. It was a habit she'd acquired after her own world died, she drank a lot of fruit juice. Her time without fruit in that world made her really appreciate it. Normally Rogue would join her, but she wasn't sure the woman would today. Taylor also didn't know if they'd have the training session either.

"She can change her hair and eyes." A voice was starting to travel to her. "Ah've started her on some body modifications, but we've only been at that a day." Rogue was telling someone and Taylor had to turn in her chair to look, finding Rogue and Mystique coming her way. Rogue had two empty glasses instead of the usual one she brought to share juice with Taylor.

"Hey Taylor." Rogue smiled at her. "I hope ya don't mind, but Ah asked momma to join us. She's a real shapeshifter, and Ah think she could help."

"Um sure." Taylor felt like she'd stammered but hopefully no one noticed. The blue woman sat down while Rogue pulled another chair from the other table over to join them.

"So you two come out here, drink juice, and then train every morning?" Mystique asked while Taylor started to pour juice into the two glasses Rogue brought out.

"Yep," Rogue smiled a little, looking a tiny bit proud. It made Taylor have to look down to hide the small smile she had at Rogue's pride, before she decided to help the woman impress her mother.

"Rogue found me trying to figure it out on my own and she's been such a help ever since." Taylor smiled a little at Mystique, but then pushed the glass of juice toward her and sat back to enjoy her own glass. "I didn't know I was a shapeshifter until Kurt told me."

Mystique sighed. "Of course. So many of you don't know your potential." It sounded sad, and like it came with a story, but Taylor didn't ask. Rogue looked a little somber for a moment as well.

"Ah was thinking that after training maybe we could go do lunch and show mama the town." Rogue spoke softly and Taylor turned to look at her, seeing a hint of slyness in Rogue's eyes. This was perfect, Taylor didn't have to ask just say yes. She nodded and took a sip of her juice. With Rogue there it might not be too awkward and Taylor would be able to get to know Mystique. She should have thought of this before, but she wasn't used to asking people out.

"So do you wear clothes still?" Mystique's words were calm, matter of fact, and had Taylor's eyes widening in shock.

"Mama, lets start off a little slower with her training." Rogue interrupted and Taylor felt relieved to hear her. "Taylor's shy."

………….

Taylor stood back from the other two a moment and watched as Mystique glanced around, her eyes taking in everyone walking around them. A few people did look at the woman, and Taylor could almost feel Mystique tensing, ready for battle. Where Kurt slumped down and appeared to want to be invisible, Mystique stood taller and held her arms out a little from her body as if ready for a fight.

The gasp of the salesperson in the store startled Taylor into looking up to see they'd stopped for Rogue to look at a shirt. "Oh, with that skin tone you've just got to try on that dress." The saleswoman spoke and Taylor looked down to see Mystique was touching a rather fancy dress in a vibrant teal. Taylor did her best to not smirk as she watched Mystique's jaw drop a little at the words. Probably not what she'd expected the woman to say. "Don't you think she'd look amazing in that color?" The saleswoman turned to Taylor and Taylor felt a little awkward.

"I'm sure she would." Taylor stared into searching yellow eyes and smiled gently. This was a different world, Mystique would see that.

"Mama why don't you try it on." Rogue said while picking up a shirt to look at it more closely.

"You know I don't really need any clothes." Mystique tilted her head at the salesperson and Taylor was surprised to see that dress suddenly appear on the woman. It did look amazing. Low cut and it offset deep blue skin very nicely.

"Oh, that's a handy trick." The saleswoman just smiled after a shocked second. "And it did look just as good as I thought, but I guess I won't be selling you anything will I?" the woman then looked over at Taylor and Taylor just shook her head, not wanting to be pulled into shopping for clothes. If the restaurant wasn't in the mall she'd never set foot in there with Rogue.

"Ah'd like to try this on." Rogue spoke and took the saleswoman's attention away from them. Taylor watched as Rogue was walked back to a dressing room.

Mystique was in her black leather pants and halter top beside her quickly. "That was surreal." Mystique spoke quietly.

"Yes, I know. This place takes getting used to. The first time I sat in the living room with my double and saw the President of the USA and her wife in an interview I couldn't speak." Taylor admitted quietly, remembering her shock at seeing that and how nothing was even mentioned about the lesbian couple, as if it were nothing unusual. "I always imagined heaven would be like this. Everyone accepting and just living their lives. It wasn't like that in my world."

"Mine either." Mystique said and the woman turned to look out at the people walking along the mall, her face looking pensive now instead of hostile. "But I don't believe in heaven."

"Neither do I." Taylor said and turned to stare more at the people walking by as well. "But I've been here a year and a half, and I still don't see it. I don't see the hate and fear I'm used to. I don't see the disgust in peoples eyes when they see my double and her lover walk around too closely together."

"You don't talk about mutations." Mystique spoke a little softer. "Did you come from a world that didn't know about mutants as well? The Three Christine's I've met all seemed to think they were the only mutants on their home world."

"Oh, I wasn't the only mutant." Taylor sighed as she remembered her own home. "I'm pretty sure I wasn't, but it was new. I sometimes wonder if that's why my world died. Some god didn't want us to evolve."

"You had mutants?" Mystique asked a little more intensely and Taylor looked up to see she had Mystique's full attention. "What was it like for us on your world?"

Taylor shook her head and sighed. "What us? There were tabloid stories, and whispers of paranormal powers. No one believed it, not really. I had a friend in high school that got 100 percent in a high school Psych paranormal test one of the students did for her presentation, she guessed every single card. I thought they'd staged it. No one believed her that she'd really done it." Taylor sighed heavily. "I had a neighbor when I was a little girl that fell out of his second story window onto the cement porch, and he got up and went back inside. His parents didn't believe him, he got grounded for sneaking outside, and I thought he was sleep walking and dreamed it all." Taylor went quiet as she considered other stories she'd thought about once she'd realized she wasn't fully human herself.

Rogue came out with a bag in hand and Taylor just started to follow as Rogue led the way to the restaurant. Mystique was rather quiet as well.

Rogue left them once they were seated to go to the bathroom, and Taylor swore the woman winked at her as she left. It made Taylor suspect Rogue wouldn't be back soon. While she appreciated it a little, mostly Taylor resented it. It put a little more pressure on Taylor to be interesting than she felt ready for.

"When I was young and new to my powers no one else knew about mutants." Mystique spoke quietly. "There were rumors, stories about wolf men and witches, but nothing people believed." Mystique played with the straw of her drink. "The few times people actual found a mutant the most common words were devil spawn and demon. It took a while for the idea of mutation to grab hold, but many still believed we weren't human, that there was something inherently evil about us."

Taylor nodded as she quietly listened.

Rogue stopped the quiet conversation and they moved to talk about happier things, but Taylor stayed quiet as the other two spoke for the most part as she considered karma. They all owed their lives to some rather cold blooded things. Rogue didn't know what Mystique and Christy had done it in that world. Taylor and her small hunting team had kept their own people in the dark as well.

……………….

Rogue left them at the car as she moved to show Kitty her new shirt, but not before staring meaningfully and silently at Taylor over the car while Mystique wasn't looking. It was pretty clear to Taylor that Rogue was trying to set her up with her mother as well now. It wasn't just Christy.

It didn't feel right, it felt awkward and rushed. Taylor closed the garage door and stood a moment with Mystique outside of the garage debating about asking for a date. In the end she didn't and Mystique went to find Christy.

Taylor watched the two women talking about clothes and sighed, while wondering if Rogue and Kitty really gave a damn about things like that anymore, or if they were just going through the motions of what they remembered used to be important to them before death touched them.

………………

It was dark when Taylor stood in the yard staring up at the sky. It was her nightly ritual, and she did notice a few others did it as well. Taylor slept better after checking, and on nights when the clouds covered the sky she usually had a bit of trouble falling asleep.

She knew there was nothing out there, but she still looked. Part of her was starting to relearn to enjoy the night sky, to see the beauty in it.

The sound reached her and Taylor moved slowly toward it, until she found the two women sparring in the dark. Taylor watched as Christy lunged forward aggressively and Mystique blocked the punch before following up with a kick. It hit Christy, but Christy just staggered back and then moved forward again.

Taylor made sure she was in the shadows as she watched. "You need a plan." Mystique spoke while moving backwards and neither attacked. "You need backup."

"I'll manage." Christy sounded resigned. Taylor watched the woman as the sparring continued. It was almost like a real fight, at full speed and vicious. It was hard to see the sparring in it and not believe there wasn't hate there. But there wasn't. Taylor watched as Mystique gave a concerned look to Christy when she'd finally managed to hit the woman, and she watched as Christy stepped back and waited until Mystique motioned for them to continue.

They fought well together, Taylor thought as she quietly tried to leave without being noticed. Taylor didn't really know how to fight, not like that. Those two made it look like dancing.

……………..

"You are aware that we are in matchmaker hell right?" Mystique spoke while rolling her eyes and taking a sip of the juice. Taylor smirked and stared down at her own glass, thinking of Rogue's fake headache, there was no way a sick person would wink before leaving.

"I might have noticed." Taylor smiled just a little at the blue woman, her eyes taking in how nice a shade of blue the woman was.

"She means well." Mystique said while watching her daughter step into the house and Taylor just nodded. Rogue did mean well, so did Christy who was far more straightforward and hands off. Rogue kept putting Taylor and Mystique together, while Christy just stated once that Taylor should consider dating and left it alone.

"I know." Taylor finally spoke when she didn't have anything to say. Her mind raced for something else, something interesting to say. "There's a movie coming out Friday." Taylor felt nervous and found herself talking a little faster. "It's an action flick, but I hear that it has romance and the leads are Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry." Taylor smiled just a little tensely as Mystique looked into her eyes. "I'd like to see it. I rarely go to movies here, but well… it's something I would have never seen at home."

"What is it?" Mystique's voice was softer, and sounded like she was considering it. That helped Taylor relax a little.

"Tomb Raider." Taylor grinned just a little, remembering another world and another movie called that. That movie even had Jolie in it, but this one looked very different from the previews. Mystique's eyebrow rose and Taylor's smirked as she suspected that the movie existed in other worlds.

"Sounds interesting." Mystique's eyes looked down a little, seemed to tour Taylor for just a moment. Taylor blushed and Mystique smiled at her quietly before picking up her glass for more juice. "So how homophobic was your world? You keep saying things that make me think it wasn't a Sapphic paradise."

"Well, a few gay characters would show up in movies, but never the leads." Taylor thought about the question quietly for a moment. "The government had a real keep it in the closet mentality, there was no marriage, no sex ed, no benefits. They claimed they wanted to be fair and didn't want to give gays special rights, like the right to love." Taylor shook her head and grimaced. "I didn't live in the city, where some gay movies might play, ones made with low budgets. Something like Tomb Raider here, were it's just so normal, well I still feel like a war was won when I see it. Even though it looks like being gay or being mutant was always accepted here. People here wouldn't understand what it feels like to hide parts of yourself to keep your job. It's beautiful."

"I used to date as a man to avoid trouble." Mystique spoke quietly. "That was years ago, before the sexual revolution in my world. Lesbianism isn't widely accepted, or wasn't, but it wasn't like Nazi Germany either."

They sat and listened to the birds for a moment. "Maybe we could have dinner first?" Taylor asked quietly, hopefully.

"That sounds nice." Mystique stood up and her soft voice became a little sharper. "Enough break, it's time to work on your shifting."

While Taylor stood up to work Mystique grinned a little wickedly. "You do realize that tomorrow we'll start training my way. You might not want to do it outside where anyone can walk by."

……………

Taylor stared at Mystique the next morning, she didn't say anything, she didn't move, she just stared. Her mind felt like it was looping on the words that Mystique had said and still she was unable to grasp them.

"Shapeshifters wouldn't really trick anyone if they were shifting but still wore the same clothes." Mystique spoke on, and Taylor blinked as she let that thought process, it made sense. "So you can't play and learning a new nose, or how to become taller without learning to shift your clothes." Mystique's voice was coming out slower and a bit more gentle. "Oh never mind, just take off your shoes and we'll start there." The blue woman sounded exasperated and Taylor stared down at her shoes.

"I never really thought about this." Taylor spoke quietly a blush on her face. "You're naked?" Her words embarrassed her and Taylor's blush increased in intensity.

"Yes." Mystique's voice was a little deeper, a hint amused and Taylor slowly looked up to see a smirking woman looking at her. "Is that all you heard?"

"Ah," Taylor stammered and looked away. Her eyes wanted to trail over Mystique to see if she could tell the woman was naked if she looked hard enough, but she knew better than to look right now.

Mystique tilted her head back and laughed, her laughter was full and sexy, making Taylor look up to watch. The way the woman's neck tilted highlighted the woman's sexy appeal and Taylor couldn't stop watching as Mystique smiled and looked at her, seemingly pleased by Taylor's inability to pay attention to her words.

"I was saying that you need to practice making clothing before getting too involved in changing your appearance." Mystique's eyes were rather pretty, Taylor thought, but the woman's next words made Taylor pale. "So you'll need to practice and the only way to really do that is naked. I find shy people learn faster naked, perhaps it's desperation."

"What?" Taylor's eyes were wide and Mystique just laughed at her again.

…………..

Taylor was a bit nervous after training, where she'd luckily kept her clothes on for the most part, and she'd managed to make shoes. It was that success that lead to the announcement that she'd be working on shirts the next day and since she was learning so quickly she'd most likely be working naked very soon.

Taylor now wished she hadn't tried so hard to impress, because it backfired into more advanced lessons.

She found Christy sitting on the grass with her eyes closed meditating. The woman did that a lot. Christy also wrote and read those journals of hers every day. It was Mystique that explained it was all preparation for the next big leap for her double, the one Christy was really hoping lead home.

"Naked." Taylor said that one word coldly when she got close enough to not have to shout it. Christy's lips curved up into a grin, but the woman didn't open her eyes. "She says I have to train naked."

"Well it's only fair." Christy slowly opened her eyes and smirked at her. "She's naked after all." Taylor's lips pressed together and she looked away, as Christy added the next bit. "And so am I."

"You think this is funny don't you?" Taylor sighed heavily, drawing it out and trying to not grin and ruin her martyr act.

"I sure do. I made a bigger fuss than you're making when I started my training. I still didn't get out of it. It really is the best way to learn." Christy chuckled. "Embarrassing, but effective."

Taylor sat down on the grass and quietly spoke. "I don't want the first time she sees me to be like this." She noticed that Christy's amusement faded.

"I guess it is a little different for you." Christy looked at Taylor for a long moment. "Do you want me to tell her I'm taking over your training until I leave? She really is better at it than I am. I'm still working with her, trying to pick up things I haven't learned yet."

"I like her." Taylor responded, while still trying to decide on an answer to Christy's question. Christy was rather busy, between her meditating, reading, and training, well Christy didn't have a lot of free time. It didn't escape Taylor that Christy trained like it was desperately important, or that some of the others were helping the woman to learn how to do odd things. Giving Taylor her time would be a sacrifice and Taylor sighed as she recognized that. She couldn't really ask that of her double. "I'll manage somehow."

They sat in silence a little while, Christy seemed to be trying to meditate again and Taylor just stared at the sky, laying back on the grass to see the soft looking fluffy clouds and blue sky better. "You've never been with her have you?" Taylor asked, thinking of the looks that Christy occasionally shared with Mystique. It seemed rather tender.

"No." Christy's eyes opened and the woman moved to lay on the ground on her side, looking at Taylor. "I've never been with her. I don't believe any of our doubles have been." Taylor nodded a little while staring up. She could feel Christy's eyes on her but didn't look.

"Good." Taylor didn't want to compete with a ghost, it wasn't something that could be won. Still Taylor strongly suspected if she were someone else, without doubles Mystique knew, she wouldn't have gotten that date so easily, and wouldn't be getting the training that while she was very nervous about she knew she needed. Taylor considered that quietly, before deciding to just let it go and not worry about it now, maybe she'd be lucky and never have to worry about it.

"Have you ever learned to meditate?" Christy asked her and Taylor soon found herself learning about it as Christy explained what she was doing and why. It reinforced the idea that creating portals could be dangerous.

……………

Mystique stood in front of the mirror and Taylor just watched her in awe. The woman was flipping between outfits to wear that night, and Taylor knew Mystique was also just showing off but Taylor still was very impressed. In less than a second the woman could switch from a pantsuit to a evening dress, her image shifted again and Taylor finally spoke.

"I think that's the one." Taylor said it quietly. Her job had been to point out what would look appropriate at the restaurant they were going to. Taylor swallowed and stared at the clothes again, noticing that not once did Mystique accidentally appear naked, that her control was strong enough to flip from outfit to outfit without pause.

Mystique was now dressed in nice black slacks and a soft and flowing silk looking blue shirt. It looked very good with the buttons undo enough to hint at Mystique's cleavage, and Taylor did her best not to stare.

Mystique's cocky smirk told Taylor her best wasn't enough, because the blue woman had caught that long look. "Next time we go out I want to be able to pick your outfit out this way." The shape shifter's words gave Taylor mixed feelings. She liked the idea that a second date was assumed, it meant she'd managed to impress at least a little in the time they'd known each other. What she didn't like was that the second date could now be withheld until Taylor could make her own clothes, and that was an underhanded move to motivate her.

The trip to the restaurant was nice, and Taylor thought she saw a few envious looks from other people who saw such a pretty woman on her arm as they made their way into the building. It was strange how that made her feel both self-conscious and proud.

Mystique was in her real form and Taylor was glad. Her eyes traveled down to where Mystique in her old fashioned charm had a hold of her arm, and Taylor found the dramatic contrasts in their skin appealing.

"So shall we do the normal first date small talk?" Mystique asked as they stood waiting to be seated.

"Why should we play at normal now," Taylor spoke softly and leaned in a little. "When you are so far above normal it can't be seen from your cloud." After her words Taylor blushed, but Mystique's pleased and amused grin helped to calm her down.

"I'm a little too old to fall for sweet talking." Mystique's eyes were sending wicked signals that made Taylor a little more nervous. This was a first date after all, but Mystique's eyes said it was possible to end it very well indeed if Taylor played her cards right. Taylor wasn't so sure she was ready for that.

Dinner had arrived before the conversation became a bit more serious. "So right now you are living off of your double's money?" Mystique's innocent words stung and Taylor looked down at her plate. "What do you want to do with your life here?"

"I don't know." Taylor sighed and looked up, her eyes searching for any judgment in Mystique's eyes but the woman seemed just curious. Taylor wasn't being called a leech. It was a sensitive topic, because she hated to rely on her double like this, but Taylor just didn't know what to do. Living in this new world hadn't been a plan of hers, and part of her apparently hadn't accepted that she was still alive, but she could see it now. Taylor could see all the things she'd done since setting foot in this world to avoid becoming a part of it. "Everything seems so…"

"Leave it to beaver?" Mystique cut in quietly. "So wholesome and good?"

Taylor's head tilted just a little to the side as she felt those words resound with her. "Yeah, I feel like anything I chose to do would be too soft for me. I've grown used to hell, and I can't find a place to fit in here in heaven."

"You're like me. I need the challenge, I need to fight a good fight, and I'm wondering where it is here." Mystique sighed and Taylor just nodded, kind of hoping that even though Mystique hadn't been here as long as Taylor had that the woman had the answer.

"Yeah." Taylor spoke into the silence and glanced around the room. As she was looking away Mystique took the opportunity to shift, and the woman was now a man in a very pretty evening dress. Taylor stared a moment as the yellow eyes that stayed the same gave her a teasing look and the waiter came back to the table.

"Would you…" His words trailed off and Taylor watched him blink hard for a moment, before she looked back and saw Mystique was looking like she had when they came in the door. Taylor lifted a hand to cover her lips, because she couldn't stop the grin from crossing over them. "I'm sorry, would you ladies like any dessert?"

"Oh no thank you." Mystique spoke so calmly, and Taylor wondered how the woman did it without laughing. "We'll just be taking the check."

As he was looking at Mystique Taylor focused and her hair went from a soft reddish blonde to jet black. It was hard work to not smile as the waiter's head jerked back a little as he glanced at her. Taylor could almost see the man wondering if he was too tired to work, if he was seeing things. When he looked away she put her hair back and shared an evil grin with her date.

"Once you're completely trained I say we take the show on the road." Mystique said with a grin and Taylor thought there was something appealing in the idea. It was so radically different from her past hyper responsibility, to just wander freely and play. It sounded good, even if just for a vacation.

They left the restaurant and Mystique was again holding Taylor's arm. Her hand traveled down and took Taylor's hand as they walked. "I want to see this world, find the dark spots that are hidden. I want to find something worth fighting for again." Mystique spoke softly.

"I'd do it with you." Taylor whispered, taking a real risk for the first time since she came here. Her heart was beating a little faster and Taylor felt a little like she was coming to life.

…………………

"Nice date?" Christy's voice traveled easily in the darkness and Taylor turned to see her double walking across the grass.

"Yes." Taylor grinned a little and then looked back up at the sky. "She wanted to come to my room." Taylor blushed, pleased with the fact.

"So why aren't you there?" Christy was now beside her and Taylor blushed a little remembering what she'd said to Mystique before giving her a soft kiss goodnight.

"I told her I don't put out on the first date." Taylor grinned again, remembering how as soon as she said that Mystique booked their second and third date with her. It was going to be hard to hold out, but something told Taylor she needed to play at least a little hard to get. Mystique liked a challenge, and Taylor didn't want to bore her.

"Good idea." Christy sounded a little amused. Perhaps she understood the game Taylor was playing in trying to make sure she was considered girlfriend material.

"She's a lot of fun, we had a great time." Taylor didn't elaborate on how some of that fun was pure mischief. They'd played a few tricks on people.

When there was a bit too much silence Taylor looked over at her double, and Christy looked a bit too serious. "I want to go soon. I've powered up and I've done as much as I can to prepare. There isn't anything else left for me to do."

Some of the joy Taylor felt at the date faded as she stared a moment. "Oh." She whispered, but her mind was on Mystique and how Christy's leaving might hurt the woman. Taylor liked Christy but didn't really know her well, but Mystique, well the blue woman would really miss Christy.

Taylor didn't feel jealous though, part of her was sure she would have felt that way, but her mind was just filled with regret. Christy would have been a good friend to have.

"I just wanted to tell you first." Christy sighed. "I'm going to miss this place. It was nice to just relax for a while."

"Yeah." Taylor thought of the date she had scheduled for tomorrow night and felt a bit of pain as she made a decision. "Maybe you should spend some time with Mystique before you go." She'd give that date up, it wasn't like she couldn't have another, and this, well this was a very final goodbye. Mystique would need to spend time with Christy. "Take her out tomorrow, you can stay long enough for that can't you?"

"You want me to date your girlfriend?" Christy teased quietly.

"No, I just want her to have a chance to say goodbye." Taylor felt tears in her eyes and sighed heavily. She knew what a solid goodbye was worth, she'd missed plenty of them in her own world. "When you see her tell her I'm sorry to cancel our date, but something important came up. I'd love to take her out later this week to make up for it." Taylor looked up at the sky and did her best to not sound teary.

Christy's hand rested on her shoulder a moment, and Taylor tensed just a little. "Thank you." Christy's own voice was a little off and Taylor just nodded so she wouldn't sound too torn up. Christy walked away and Taylor stayed outside a bit longer, hugging herself.

……………….

Taylor was looking in the fridge for a snack when she heard fast footsteps coming toward her. She looked up over the fridge door to see a nervous looking Kitty come to a stop and stare at her. "Um, Taylor…" Kitty sounded hesitant. "There's someone at the front gate."

"You don't remember how to buzz them in?" Taylor closed the fridge and watched Kitty's expression, a mixture of guilt and nervousness.

"It isn't that." Kitty sighed quietly. "It's a detective."

Taylor's eyes widened as she stared at Kitty. "Detective Pryde?" Kitty just nodded. Taylor's shoulders drooped a little as she considered this new obstacle. Mystique and Christy were out, and Taylor was suddenly glad she'd given her date away because she needed to be here for this.

"Okay." Taylor stood a little taller and nodded to herself mostly. She could do this. "Well we should let her in."

The gate had one woman in a car waiting for entrance. The woman was so much like the woman standing next to her that Taylor glanced at Kitty a moment before looking back. The detective's hair was pulled back and she wore dark sunglasses. The detective also seemed to be drumming her fingers on the steering wheel as she waited. "Not proper procedure is this?"

"No, if she's like me she just had to see who figured her out but didn't want to announce it to the others." Kitty spoke quietly as Taylor pushed the button and the gate swung opened. "She had to have had help to find me. I was careful."

"I think I should answer the door. Tell the others to steer clear of the living room." Taylor ordered softly.

"I should talk to her." Kitty held her gaze and Taylor nodded a little.

"Yeah, but maybe you shouldn't be the first person she sees. It is a little jarring to see a double when you aren't expecting it." Taylor started to walk to the front door. "I'll introduce you. It's just better that way."

Five minutes later Taylor opened the front door to stare at a Kitty wearing a black leather duster and black jeans. The woman looked confident and a little arrogant actually. "Hello, I'm Detective Pryde." It was a stereotypical cop greeting that said its time to cooperate or else. The badge wasn't held out too long, but long enough for Taylor to know that this detective had no jurisdiction here, she was a Chicago detective. "Are you known as CatNip?"

Taylor smirked a little at the strange internet handle. She'd have to tease Kitty about that later. "No, that's not me." Taylor moved to the side. "Would you like to come in? CatNip will be down soon."

"You're Christy Taylor aren't you? That woman that's living with Ms. Frost?" Detective Pryde showed she did some homework, but not enough. She probably noticed who owned the house and did the math.

"No, that's my double, and she's actually her fiancée." Taylor sighed as she closed the door. This was a mess, but she didn't think anyone would try to claim the whole lot of them were illegal aliens or anything. It wasn't like anyone could deport them. "Things are about to get really confusing Detective, but I'll do my best to explain."

All the words in the world wouldn't have been worth that one moment when Kitty stepped into the room. Taylor knew that the Detective was listening to her but doubted her every word until that moment that she turned as stared at her own double.

Taylor slowly stepped back as Kitty stepped forward. "I'm CatNip." Kitty spoke softly and nervously moved some hair behind her ear. "My names Kitty Pryde. I came from a different world."

They stared at each other and Taylor risked stepping out of the room to let them talk. Still she found herself looking back to see the detective was a lot less bristly and looked a bit funny stunned silent.

……………

It was dark when the porch lights were turned on and the entire group was gathered on the backyard. Taylor watched as they each shook Christy's hand, then her eye traveled over to the pair of Kitty's that were watching this, before one Kitty moved forward to shake Christy's hand and give a heart felt thank you. The tension in the air, and a few tears, made the moment seem very solemn and important.

Taylor finally moved forward and stared at her own double for a moment. She remembered the detective's stare when Christy and Mystique came home, the stare that moved from Taylor to Christy and then to Kitty. Detective Pryde was permitted to stay, but they all were too focused on their goodbyes to talk with her much. Taylor stared into blue eyes and sighed. "Thank you." Taylor whispered while carefully pulling Christy into a hug. "I'll watch over them." She promised in a whisper.

"Good." Christy took a shaky breath. They just stared a moment longer and Taylor finally felt a connection to the woman, a painful connection that was more empathy than she'd been prepared for. Taylor's hands shook a little as she prayed to whatever gods might exist that Christy found her home. Taylor stepped back and gave up her space in front of the woman to Mystique.

Mystique loved Christy, it was painfully clear in the hard hug she gave the traveler. Taylor watched as Mystique reluctantly let go and Christy stepped out further away from them all. Taylor moved forward and took Mystique's hand gently, unworried about the fact that the blue woman didn't look at her as Christy called the portal.

When Christy ran into the portal Taylor whispered "good luck."

They stood there in silence for a while, the others drifting inside. It felt like they were giving Mystique and Taylor privacy. Kurt gave Taylor a long look, before just nodding. It felt like he was giving the relationship his approval. "I'll miss her." Mystique spoke quietly.

Taylor didn't know what to say back so she just gently squeezed Mystique's hand.

………………

"I could do it." Mystique said while leaning back on the couch. Taylor tilted her head and looked between Mystique and Detective Pryde. The Detective had visited one weekend a month for three months, wanting to hear all about her double. They also talked about her work and Mystique shifted into the form of a young teen. It made Taylor feel a little dirty since she'd just made love to this woman a few hours ago. She didn't like seeing her play so young. "You need a face to show them, and I can be any face."

Taylor sat still and waited while the other two women stared at each other, before the Detective nodded. "We don't usually bring civilians into stings."

"But you will." Mystique grinned and shifted back into her own form. Once Mystique was herself Taylor moved closer.

"I'm in too." Taylor spoke quietly but firmly. Her shifting wasn't nearly as effortless as Mystique's so she didn't show that she could do it. They'd have time for Taylor to learn new forms, and Mystique hadn't been happy living in the house, and wouldn't be happy with a nine to five job.

Taylor wouldn't mind fighting the good fight either.

"I need to get approval." The detective hedged and Taylor suddenly felt confident that this could work.

"Well, make sure to tell them I'm bullet proof." Taylor smiled just a little as they ironed out their new careers. Mystique had been the one to tell Taylor she was bullet proof and they hadn't tested it yet, but Taylor believed her.

"Maybe after this sting we could talk Vice into taking us." Taylor whispered to her lover, seeing a future in this.

"Why stop there, perhaps our lady President needs new spies." Mystique grinned and Taylor's eyes widened.

Next: Christy the Wanderer lands on another world and races time. Stay tuned for the last arc of 500 Miles.

A/N: I'm going on vacation and that always disturbs my muse. Lots of feedback waiting for me when I get back may help me get focused again and start writing. Gimme feedback on any arc you want, any aspect of the story. The bigger the feedback the more inspiring it is.


	48. Shadows Part 1

500 Miles

Shadows

By Princess Alexandria

Christy's expression was grim as she held her mind in tight rein as she tumbled through her portal. Scythe's lights and shadows flickered wildly, until a dark black circle appeared before her. Christy took a deep breath and moved her arms out in front of her.

She was shot out of the portal at high speed, blasting out into the darkness and slamming into a hard metal surface with a groan of pain. The Christy in the train wore militaristic black clothes and Christy stared just a moment, but when the woman in the train started to turn to the window Christy quickly pushed herself away, the sound starting to register in her mind as the wind whipped passed her. Christy rolled carefully and then laid still on the tall grass, listening to the train passing by.

Christy moved to kneel and stared as the dark cars of the train faded and the entire thing moved passed her spot near the tracks. Christy stared at the familiar logo on the back of the train and moved a shaky hand through her hair as she watched it move away from her.

Christy stood up and pulled the backpack she wore tighter to her body while shifting her hair to short and black. Her body shifted and lengthened as she watched the last few cars disappear around the bend, her clothes became ragged jeans and a sweatshirt, her shoes hiking boots. Christy watched the train disappear and then started to walk after it, her steps slow and her jaw tense.

She could feel the weight of the gun in her backpack, and could hear the gentle swish of cash she'd need to get exchanged, because they didn't use American currency here.

One foot in front of the other at a steady and unhurried pace, Christy made her way into the next town. It might have been hours later that she stood at the top of a small hill and looked down at it. The night was almost completely faded into morning and the train was stopped at the station.

Christy swallowed hard and stared as she watched a woman in white wave at the small crowd that had gathered there. Her eyes traveled to the guards stationed subtly around and she stood still and stared as that woman in white turned. The blonde stared at her a moment, and Christy flinched a little before remembering her disguise was on. She just nodded a little and started to walk down the hill. She wanted to look harmless without seeming to be putting on an act. She knew what she'd go through if any of the security detail decided to check her backpack. A gun wasn't a sign of peace.

Christy took the path that was moving away from the train, but her heart ached, knowing that the blonde that was looking at her wasn't Emma. No, this Emma was in the train while her lover posed as her as a security precaution. The meeting later would have the real Emma.

Christy took a shaky breath as she considered that. She couldn't risk letting either Emma or her past self know that it really would be a bad night for Christy to take the night off. Emma was going to be shot tonight and Christy felt sick knowing that she wasn't able to stop it.

Knowing Emma would survive, knowing it would show them both how truly connected they were, knowing after the healer came that Emma would be healthy didn't stop it from hurting.

She'd found the right world, she could feel it. She also had known that appearing on the beach at the time of the attack would leave her at a disadvantage and she couldn't win. Christy had gone back further to prepare for a battle she couldn't afford to lose, and one that she couldn't enter until her past self had already lost.

The path down the hill to the town was not well worn, but Christy followed it with little thought, as her hands clenched. The assassin had gotten away mysteriously last time, no one had found the person that pulled the trigger, but Christy had read all the reports. She had seen the pieced together account of that night and tonight Christy would use that information to gain herself a little information.

Tonight she'd make that shooter pay. No one had found him or her, but tonight it was going to be Christy that hid the tracks so that she could interrogate the bastard and make plans. The next attack on the beach wasn't going to succeed. They all knew the same man lead both attacks and Christy was finally going to go after him.

It had tormented her that she hadn't been able to arrest anyone when it happened, but Christy gave a cold grin as she imagined how much harsher her justice would be this time. She had no government to answer to now, she was a free agent.

…………….

Christy considered that arriving earlier still might have been a good idea, but thinking of times that she'd been in a place too small for her portal to appear in the past and that were safe enough for Christy to appear in now hadn't given her a lot of options. Christy moved quickly to exchange some money, but not enough to be too suspicious. She'd made a few arrangements and she'd checked out the streets she'd be using later. She resisted the urge to call for help as she put the gun in her jacket and slipped out of the restroom and into the bar.

The television had too much footage of President Frost and it hurt to look. She was home, she was grateful for that, but she wasn't home. She had a month to go before she could really be home. She turned her back to it and glanced at the people talking and laughing with their friends. Work must have gotten out a little early in honor of President Frost's visit, because the place was rather busy for so early.

"Yo, the President may be Frost, but that babe is pure ice." One male voice spoke up and Christy looked up to see him staring at the television. Her eyes moved to it almost against her will to see herself standing outside of the limo looking around. Dark glasses kept her eyes from being visible. "Pure Ice." The man said a bit more slowly.

"Yeah, I heard she can freeze a man's cojones right off." Another voice spoke with an amused voice. "My brother knows someone that delivered to the President's mansion and he said that the Ice Princess can stare a hole right through a man. He'd just asked her out and the woman looked at him like he was muy loco, before she checked his id and walked away."

"Hey, What's the big deal about her anyhow?" A more American sounding voice asked and Christy sat back quietly and listened in on this conversation.

"Well that's el Presidente's personal head of the guard." The Hispanic man grinned and looked up at the tv again.

"Once you've been in Genosha longer you'll understand." Another voice spoke up, this one female. Christy did her best to not appear to be staring, but she couldn't help but find the topic compelling to listen to. "Some people think our President isn't as single as she lets the world believe." Christy felt a little stunned. She'd never heard these rumors, and she worried about how Emma would take it.

Wouldn't it be nice if Emma took it well? Christy doubted it though, because while Emma did love her, Emma also didn't want to make her term as president about her sexuality. Admitting to loving a woman, and her security guard on top of that, well it would put her on the front of a lot of papers for the wrong reasons, or at least that's what Christy had heard.

"You think the Ice Maiden and our President?" The male voices laughed and Christy turned away from them with a sigh. "Frost and Ice." Someone spoke up and Christy felt like leaving.

Finally she did, she put her money on the table and walked away.

………….

Her mind went over her plan as she waited. She was seated in a park across from the building that was across from the street Emma had been shot on. Emma was going to be shot just on the other side of that building. She wasn't going to be at the site of the shooting, she couldn't and not do something drastic. No, she'd capture her prey here.

Her heart felt like it was burning as she waited for the love of her life to mentally scream out for help. Her shield was down enough to feel it so she'd know when she needed to act, but her hands shook and her eyes were shiny with tears as she waited.

The pained and scared mental scream was louder this close and Christy gasped as it hit her. She closed her shields, and stood up, she'd taken three steps before she stopped herself. Every instinct told her to go to Emma, that Emma was calling her and needed her. This was her Emma and Christy fought the tears by focusing on the bastard that put that fear in her lover. She moved toward the building that the assassin had shot Emma from and saw the hurried man leaving the place well ahead of the guards that had to be on the way to check the building for him.

Christy moved as calmly as she could as she approached the car he seemed to be moving toward. He was focused and she looked rather innocent as a teenager, the form she'd picked for this. People always underestimate young people, and she was counting on that.

She shot him in the back with a dart when she'd prefer to cut him in half with an uzi. She didn't give a damn about honorable. He hadn't. Emma was unarmed and just walking into a building when this bastard shot her. Christy's jaw was clenched and she used the keys his fall had left in the car door to open it. She tossed him into the backseat with force, hearing the crack of his head against the opposite door with no empathy.

Her form became an older woman as she sat in his car and started it. Once they were far enough away she'd secure him better, but her people were better trained than to take too long to figure out where he'd run, they'd be on the streets soon.

She pulled out onto the main road and started for the place she'd picked for this, a nice secluded place.

…………

She felt a twinge of pain when she pulled the inhibitor out of the bag, but she just took a deep breath and wrapped it around his neck, ignoring her history with things like this. After she'd gotten a good look at him she knew who he was and that leaving him with his powers wasn't a good idea. Hell, leaving him an inch of room to move would be a bad idea.

This wasn't the man she'd read about in the comics, but she didn't risk it. She tied him tight and she made sure his hands couldn't move at all. A dark part of her told her that cutting them off would make sure he didn't pull anything, but she saved that thought for later.

She'd taken the precaution of stripping him as well. She stared at the man she'd trussed up naked on a chair, and at the vulnerability he had with his ass hanging down awkwardly past the bottom of the chair she'd cut out for this. Torture, not a road she'd thought she'd go down again, and she had more creative ideas now.

Christy sat watching him, waiting for him to wake up. His long brown hair fell into his face as he leaned forward a little, but the ropes kept him seated. His strong jaw and muscular build probably brought a lot of women his way. Christy watched as he moved just a little, the breathing changing a bit. She knew he was faking it now, that he was awake. Christy stayed silent. She watched stonily as he finally opened his eyes.

"Hello Remy." Christy spoke, her voice deeper and colder than ever. She'd never met him, but with eyes like that she knew it was him. "I bet Remy didn't expect to be caught." She taunted him, saying his name often. "I'd even say Remy thought he'd get away with trying to kill Emma and manage to get a suntan on the beaches of Emma's country. I'd even say Remy expects to walk away now." Christy leaned forward and watched his jaw tense. "But you won't. No, you're gonna spill your secrets. I know a bit about torture, and let me tell you, it's better to just give in quickly, because it only gets worse."

Christy got up and walked away, turning her back to him as she put another log on the fire in the fireplace of the old house. She stood and stared into the fire in silence and let him digest who exactly had him. She was in her own form, because she'd gained a reputation in this one. Her reputation, whether earned or not, made people fear her. Her time in the bar earlier also showed it gave her another type of reputation, but that didn't matter now. She then reached down to pick up the poker and turned back to him with an expressionless face. The tip of the poker was bright from sitting in the fire. "I should ask questions first, but we both know you won't answer them yet so I won't bother." She stared into his eyes and thought of Emma laying on the ground, thought of Emma dying, and she pressed the poker against his thigh.

His scream didn't sound Cajun, it just sounded like a wounded animal. The gag didn't seem to muffle it much. She pulled the poker away and put it back in the fire. "I hear Remy is a ladies man. I know Remy has his pride and doesn't want to give in quickly, so I'll give Remy the courtesy of not burning his manhood off for another three hours." Her head tilted just a little and her voice was mocking. "But Remy will really need his charm power for any lady to want to touch him after I'm done if he doesn't talk very soon."

After saying that Christy moved to stare right into his eyes, to let him see she meant it. Christy then moved to leave the room, she opened the door and then stopped her breathing, before closing it. She stood behind him leaning against the wall and she watched him struggle to free himself. He didn't know she was still there. Christy saw him listen for breathing, for movement, but she was uniquely able to not give herself away.

She watched as his shoulders shook, and she waited longer still to let that panic fester. She remembered how painful waiting was, how what seemed like hours was truly just minutes.

She opened the door again and started breathing. He tensed up and the defeated set to his shoulders became defiant in front of her. She smiled coldly at the act and moved into his vision again. "I found more pokers." She smiled as she held up three more that had been in the corner of the room, before putting them into the fire. "Now we can get started."

She turned to him and finally said what she wanted. "You work for someone, and that's the person I really want. I want to know how he's getting his information, how he knows where she is. I want to know who he has in his pocket and I want to know who he is." Someone had to have told about the vacation she took with her lover so that they could be ambushed on that beach. Someone had to mention Emma had that meeting she'd missed because she was shot.

Christy already knew who was behind it all, but once this man told her the real name she'd be more confident whatever else he told her might be true.

She placed the poker on his other thigh. "I'm not an artist, but I always liked symmetry." She told him as she pulled the poker away.

She felt the twinge of guilt, but she ignored it as she continued with her interrogation. She took the gag off after the third burn. She really didn't think he'd spill even lies until the tenth, but he needed to be able to talk.

……………..

"You really should have joined the Thieves Guild Remy." Christy said over his panting and shaking form as she stared down at her work. His thighs were red around the burns and the smell of burnt flesh filled the room. She'd also burned his chest, and his ass. That was the point of that chair, to make more of him available for torture. His back had the letter K on it, and other letters would follow.

She hated that he'd been strong enough to hold out for this long, because she'd begun to pity the man that tried to kill her lover. She preferred to hate him completely. If she had the luxury of time she might have even been gentler with him, but she had one month to stop what was clearly an internal leak and a determined man with the power to arrange for the death of Emma Frost. "You aren't that great as an assassin. She lived."

That got a response, he looked up with widening eyes, clearly afraid. Not the response she'd expected given he had more to fear from her than Emma right now. He started to speak and the first words were the name she already knew was behind it. Christy stood back a little and listened as Remy stared at the poker she'd told him was for the cheek on is face watching it cool as he spoke half truths.

Tessa would have known if even half the things he said were the truth, but Christy assumed that some of what she heard and thought might be true may not be. She didn't have Tessa's abilities.

As she took in the information carefully, trying hard to remember it all, she couldn't help but again think that this world's Tessa was really more qualified for her position, but it was Emma that gave it to Christy instead. This month Christy was going to earn it and make up for all the mistakes she'd made.

After Remy talked himself out Christy stood still and then turned to put the poker back in the fire. She sighed and turned to him, staring into his eyes. "Not many people know that I'm Emma Frost's lover." She told him quietly, pulling the gun out from her jacket. "Or that she still has nightmares that you're out there waiting to try again. I'll finally be able to tell her you aren't." She aimed at his head and even his violent attempt to jerk away didn't ruin her aim.

She stared at his body, still bound to the chair and laying on the ground, blood pooling under it. "You're master would have sent you again and we both know it."

She'd never been under the delusion that killing this man would make the pain she remembered suffering this night any better. She'd had more than enough experience in this to know that, but she did find a tightness in her chest loosen just a little. She finally realized that it wasn't just Emma that lived in fear of another attack, and that this one success gave her hope that she could stop it.

She buried him carefully and then cleaned up the gore left from their night together. Christy's eyes stayed cold and her movements almost mechanical as she turned her emotions off yet again. Part of her was horrified at what she could do but she was used to this. She always surprised herself by what depths she could sink.

She'd liked Remy, the Remy of the books she'd read. This man wasn't that Remy, but still she held some regret.

Once her tracks were covered well enough Christy got back into Remy's car and started to drive. She drove away from the town and the hospital that her double most likely was pacing in right at that moment. Christy drove for the beach, miles away. She needed time to absorb what she'd learned tonight.

…………..

The news was filled with talk about the shooting of President Frost. Christy hadn't heard any of it last time and this time she rocked back and forth a little while she listened to the account in a beachfront hotel room. She'd dumped Remy's car as soon as she'd found a bus that went to the coast, and she'd traveled all night to get there, but now she could finally relax, only she couldn't.

Her mind filled with the images that went with these stories, as reporters talked about the mysterious stranger brought in to treat the President. She found herself listening as Emma's PR team spun this as less life threatening than it really was for the public that was worried that their leader was going to die.

These people cried on a night when Christy remembered she couldn't let herself cry because she had too much to do. Christy wrapped her arms around her own body and let those tears fall now, finally.

She could have been sleeping or working, but Christy just sat still and listened as history played back, as the news of the President's recovery hit the air.

No one knew that Emma's heart had stopped three times that night. No one knew that the woman they seemed to think was ice had been mere moments from panic as she made phone call after phone call to try and get help. None of these people on the news knew that Christy's entire world was dying before the healer gave them a miracle.

………………

Christy felt like she'd been run over by a few buses when she sat up and took a deep breath. It could have been hours later. She also felt a desperate need to see Emma, the need she'd carried with her for a year and a half now and she couldn't give in to it. She was finally home, and her lover needed her, but she couldn't go.

She had to comfort herself with memories of the fact that she had in fact been there at the hospital.

Christy took a deep breath and pulled out a notebook to start making plans. Her hand moved over the paper writing down the things Remy told her that needed double checking. Her handwriting became shaky in anger as she wrote down the names of people that had been trusted and were now very suspect.

One month to tie this all up so it never happened again seemed like a very tall order now, especially since she couldn't use any of her contacts, couldn't use her position, because no one could know she was here.

Well, maybe almost no one, Christy thought while sitting back. She bit her lower lip just a little as she considered asking for help. She'd need someone who could keep a secret and who telepaths couldn't take that secret from. She'd need someone that hadn't been around for her the first time, so she didn't risk changing anything, but also someone she trusted completely.

Christy swallowed hard as she considered that it was time to actually contact someone, to talk about what happened. Her heart ached in a good way at the thought of not being alone in this. Besides she needed a spy, and while she had the tools she couldn't really say she was one.

……………..

Christy wore the form of an average woman, average in every way possible in her attempt to blend in. She was used to standing out a bit, her own form and the clothes she wore were recognizable everyone in Genosha.

People walked past her as she sat at outside of the Starbucks at the third table from the door. That wouldn't be important normally, but that's where she'd said she'd be.

It took a week to get this appointment, and Christy did her best to sip at her drink, one she was too nervous to taste, as she waited. She'd gotten as far as she could on her own and she now had two and a half weeks to make this work. Alone she knew she couldn't do this, and even if she managed to save Emma, she couldn't end the threat alone. She couldn't even find the leak.

This mission was starting to look much larger than she'd originally anticipated. It went far beyond the skills of a glorified security guard.

She frowned into her drink as she considered her suspects, unhappy with the size of the list and unhappy with some of the people she suspected. People she had originally trusted now she wasn't so sure.

"Did it do something to upset you?" A male voice spoke and Christy looked up to see a man just as unremarkable as her current female form. Christy shook her head just a little in the negative and then glanced at the other seat at her table.

"So I gather you decided to make the time." Christy spoke with a voice as different as she could manage, but Mystique's current male face looked slightly puzzled as she started to piece it together.

"Well your email did say you were positive that once I heard the details I'd work for you for free. It was intriguing. I'm not known to be a generous woman." Mystique's eyes flashed yellow just for a moment as she as he sat down.

Christy couldn't risk telling Mystique who needed her, not until she could convince her of the truth. If Mystique contacted Christy's past self it could ruin everything.

Christy watched as Mystique subtly looked around, looking for danger or a trap. Christy waited patiently for the woman to feel confident it was safe, and she watched as the unfamiliar and unremarkable face held expressions she knew so well.

Christy's heart was tight, and her throat was competing with it as Christy stared now openly at her best friend, the only person she could call for help. "Mystique," Christy's voice cracked just a little and she took a deep breath to stop her emotions. She'd been holding on for days now, she couldn't break down at the first sight of a friend, she scolded herself. "We can't talk here." She let her own voice through and Mystique's eyes widened a little. "I know you don't go anywhere with unfamiliar people, but you know me and I need your help. My hotel room is just three blocks away."

"Why all the cloak and dagger?" Mystique's voice softened a little, making no motion to move just yet. "You could have just called me, you know I'd always help you out. I almost didn't come today."

Christy's fist clenched under the table as she fought the urge to be emotional, "There is a lot going on and I can't," Her words trailed off and she spoke in a whisper. "Please, let's just go to my hotel room."

"I sometimes dream of you asking me that." Mystique smirked at her and Christy looked down at her drink again. "Okay, let's go." The voice became more business and Christy stood up, and turned to toss her latte in the garbage can as she waited for Mystique to stand up.

They walked quietly for a half a block. "I assume we keep these forms for now?" Mystique asked quietly in her own voice.

"No one can see me, and well, it would be best if no one knew you were in Genosha right now." Christy glanced over at her friend and gave into the impulse, reaching out to take Mystique's hand. Her own hand squeezed it firmly, careful to not squeeze with the strength she had. Christy didn't let go, she held on as they continued to walk and she ignored the concerned look she received for her obvious need.

"I thought you were in the capital today with her highness." Mystique spoke as they waited for a truck to move out of their way so they could cross the street. Mystique often teased about the White Queen becoming President, it was a joke that Christy extended to her lover as well.

"It's complicated." Christy answered, instead of the truth, which was that she was in both places. If they ran across a news report tonight, well, it would become obvious to Mystique that Christy was in two places. Christy had purposely picked a time right before an interview that Emma granted, one that had Christy caught on film. At the time it had seemed an accident, but perhaps the media was feeding the rumors that Emma and her security guard were close.

Her lack of answer was all it took to shove Mystique back into character, which consisted of her playing Christy's lover apparently, because Mystique wrapped one arm around her and held her as they walked. Christy just leaned into Mystique and let the woman in man's clothing lead her down the road, only interrupting the flow enough to point when it was time to turn into the parking lot of her hotel.

"Room 324." Christy spoke as they started toward the building, moving this time by Christy's lead as Mystique had let her go so her smaller form could lead. "I managed to get a view of the ocean." Her hotel room was a nice one, and Christy was glad that getting the money she brought with her exchanged didn't cause any alarms to go off. Christy had visited over five banks to do it so that no one really knew how much money she'd exchanged into Genoshan currency.

Without that money, money a different world Mystique had thought of, well Christy would have had to risk discovery by using her own account here or committed crimes. She probably would have committed crimes, Christy thought to herself as she started up the stairs to the third floor. She'd picked this place over her other choices because of the lack of an inside entrance, these hotel rooms opened up right into the outside. It left less places for people to hide, and if someone went after Christy she'd have a better chance of seeing them coming. There were also fewer neighbors, no awkward elevator rides with excited tourists, and an easier trip outside to stare at the stars at night.

Christy let her mind wander to unimportant things as she made her way up the stairs, as she still wasn't sure she knew what to say once they were in the privacy of that room. How could she explain that while Mystique had talked with her just a few days ago, it had been a year and a half since they'd had that conversation for Christy.

So many fine details of their conversation were gone now, as old memories tended to fade. If Christy had Tessa's powers she could perhaps pick up her life just as she'd left it, but Christy didn't. She was sure that her faded memories of daily things would expose her sooner or later if she didn't admit it.

She'd have to tell Emma as well, Christy thought with more than some nervousness. It would be so nice to pretend it had only been moments, to skim over the things that were sure to cause problems in their relationship. But even if Christy could do that, well, she'd have to open her mind to her lover eventually and it was all in there.

Christy pulled out the key cards and held one out for Mystique who took it slowly. It was the first hint that the help Christy needed would take some time. Christy wanted Mystique to stay with her. The key was accepted, so words unsaid Mystique was once again confirming she was there for her.

Christy loved this woman. No questions asked, just acceptance that she was needed. That was her Mystique, and Christy took a shaky breath as she turned to the door and used the key card in her hand to unlock the hotel room.

They stepped inside and Mystique stepped further from the door to and grabbed the curtains, closing them, before shifting to her own form. Christy let her own form change back as well. "So now do you want to tell me what's happened? Was there another attempt on Emma's life? Is she okay?"

Christy opened her mouth for a moment, before closing it without speaking. She just stared at Mystique and saw the compassion in her eyes. "Oh god, you won't believe what's happened." Christy ran a hand roughly through her hair as she struggled for words. "I would have told you over the phone, but I couldn't risk you not believing. I need you." Christy didn't like the hint of a whine to her own voice that showed far too much desperation.

Mystique reached out and fixed whatever mess Christy made of her hair gently. "And I'm here, so just tell me."

"We were attacked at the beach house." Christy started slowly. "They were organized and Emma and I hadn't brought any guards with us."

"Right after an assassination attempt?" Mystique said the words, and Christy felt them like an accusation she couldn't defend herself from.

"It was stupid, I know. It was our anniversary and Emma made the plans, I didn't want to ruin her surprise. I didn't even ask about guards." Christy saw Mystique's expression changing to confused. The woman knew when her anniversary was, and it wasn't yet here. "I was tossed into Scythe." Christy's voice was rough as she stared into yellow eyes. "I landed on another world, and I struggled to get home for a year and a half. I'm from the future, and I have to let the past play out before I save Emma." Mystique looked stunned. "But I can't do it alone."

…………….

After a rather difficult session of interrogation, to verify Christy's identity, Mystique sat back in her chair looking a little limp. "So do you believe me?" Christy asked quietly after a long moment of silence. She really didn't know what she'd do if Mystique didn't.

"How do you get yourself into these messes Christy?" Mystique spoke softly, not sounded very condemning, just a bit shocked. "It isn't enough to travel dimensions? Now you time travel as well?"

"Well you know me, I work best desperately scared." Christy's voice was a little harsh in response.

"Oh, dear." Mystique moved to sit up and Christy was the one slumping forward a little looking and feeling defeated. "I wasn't…"

"I know." Christy sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm a bit tight strung lately."

"Yeah." Mystique did something a little out of character for her, she moved to sit on the couch with Christy and pulled Christy into a gentle hug. Christy didn't even think of fighting it, she just curled into Mystique's body and held on. Christy felt Mystique's hand gently petting her hair and Christy sighed.

"I missed you." Christy whispered and rested her head on Mystique's shoulder. Christy slowly let her tense body relax and her throat hurt a bit. Her back started to shake and Christy took a few shaky breaths, her eyes stinging.

Christy started to cry quietly and Mystique just quietly murmured reassuringly to her and held her. "I'm home." Christy managed to say, tearfully and hard to understand, but she said it.

Christy knew the blue woman had to be uncomfortable, as time passed and Christy couldn't bring herself to move. She felt safe here in Mystique's arms, she always had. Even other Mystique's gave her this feeling. Normally guilt kept her from enjoying it, milking it, but Christy wasn't going to deny herself today. Emma would have to understand this as well, Christy needed someone to hold her.

She'd been strong for so long, and while she knew she had to stay strong a little longer, she needed this. Mystique's breathing was soft and brushed through Christy's hair. The woman gently caressed Christy's back, none of the usual sexual teasing, just pure comfort.

"God it was so hard." Christy's voice was rough as she spoke, but she moved to hug her body tighter to Mystique as she did speak. "I'd almost given up on seeing home again. And the worlds I've seen," Christy shook her head just a little, which made her realize she was resting her head on Mystique's bosom now, but she didn't move. It wasn't like it was sexual. "It was horrible." She whispered. "I've done things, had things done to me," Her words cut off and she felt a bit of tension in the body partly under her now at her words. "I missed you." She whispered rather than elaborate on that time away.

"I missed you too." Mystique spoke, a sweet lie, because Mystique had no time to miss her. Hadn't even known she was gone.

"We have so much to do, I don't have time for this." Christy said, in a semi angry voice, mostly to herself.

"We can take the time." Mystique gently pushed Christy off of her. "But you, my friendly water woman, weigh a bit too much to lay all over me like this." Mystique scooted back against the back of the couch and the arm of it then stared at her. "I always imagined something a little more interesting if you were all over me."

"So did I." Christy whispered and watched Mystique's eyes widen just a little. "Just because I couldn't didn't mean I didn't want to sometimes." Christy took a deep breath. "You and I we could have been good, but I love her. Even as messed up as I feel about it all now, I love her."

"Oh dear, you really know how to fuel and kill fantasies all at once." Mystique sighed and hugged her. There was more that Mystique clearly wanted to say and didn't. Christy felt a wave of regret, wishing partly that she'd brought a Christy home for Mystique, but she didn't want to share this one with a double. It was selfish of her, but Christy just accepted it.

Taylor hadn't really liked living in a world with a double even though she liked her double. Taylor had been a bit threatened by Christy's relationship with that Mystique. Too many Christy's could be a bad thing, but then Raven would have been nice to keep. Christy still missed her. Maybe for Raven Christy could have learned to share, but Raven wasn't in any shape to start anything. Raven had been too destroyed.

Christy ached as she considered that, wondering if that double was okay. How were any of them?

There were so many things they could talk about, but Christy took a deep breath and chose to talk about the mission. "The attack came in by boat. I heard the splash of them hitting the water before walking to shore, but it was so dark that I couldn't see them. Still they had to be close to shore for me to hear them, and it took no time for them to get to shore.

Christy sat up and moved to look more in control, but wiping her cheeks free of tears ruined it a little. Still Mystique's expression changed from the soft and caring woman to the tactical planner.

"How many?" Mystique asked.

"I saw four, killed one, but there could be more." Christy shook her head a bit, wishing she'd observed longer so she'd know, but it hadn't taken too long to lose that battle.

"You recognize any of them?" Mystique asked and Christy stared into the woman's eyes. This wasn't good news she had to deliver.

"I recognized all of them." Christy spoke flatly, her mind flashing back to the people she'd seen attack them. "Even if only those three are left this isn't going to be easy."

Christy gave all the details she remembered of that fight, all she remembered seeing as she was tossed into Scythe, and she wasn't holding back on the stupidity she'd exhibited. Her gun left in the house, no other guards, how she hesitated to kill a moment when outnumbered like that she should have been killing as fast as she could.

This time she was going to rain death down on them, because she was putting yet another person at risk to fight these people and she wasn't going to lose anyone she cared about.

It was way past dinner time when they stopped listing all the things they needed to do and how they might do them.

Mystique ordered pizza while Christy sat on the couch and glared quietly at the table. Christy wasn't thrilled that Mystique was going to have to go off for a few days, she would have preferred to keep her company, but they needed to know who the leak was, who they could trust. Mystique was going to the capital tomorrow as Remy, because no one knew the man was dead. Seeing Remy might flush out someone. Christy had also given away every security code she remembered to the woman so that Mystique could do more if the opportunity arose.

…………….

The waves caressed the shore as Christy, in yet another random tourist form walked out of the water near the hotel, and no one noticed she hadn't been on the tourist laden beach in a very long time. She could have drown out there and no one noticed, she thought with a head shake as she walked barefoot up the beach toward the beachside bar.

To anyone else visiting the beaches of Genosha she was a woman wanting to swim in the ocean. A woman that had laughed with the people at the bar and did all the regular tourist sunning on the beach as well. There was no telling how long someone had been watching this beach and Emma's beach house was just two miles from this hotel.

It took a while to swim there from here and Christy had done it all underwater. She'd spent hours in the water and only set foot on ground here so that anyone looking at Emma's beach house wouldn't see her.

In the past week Christy had taken the parachute ride behind a speed boat to see the place from the air, she jogged along the beach to see if from the ground. She swam often and made a mental map of the depth of the water. Her ability to not need breathe and her water body gave her more control while swimming underwater than she'd expected. She could compete with a mermaid, and perhaps Mystique would be back in time to teach Christy how to create a mermaid tail to improve her abilities for underwater surveillance.

Christy knew this area better than her own bedroom now, better than the house she grew up in as well. It was a matter of survival and no one could claim any fault in her recon.

Christy packed up her belongings again, things she bought to make her look more normal. Clothes and various toiletries that an average mutant might need filled her bags, but there were also weapons and maps and recently purchased communications gear. There was also a generous pile of money in both American and Genoshan currencies. In the past week and a half Christy had switched hotel rooms and her own body three times so that she didn't appear to stay longer than an average vacation trip, and so that she didn't stay long enough for anyone to consider her more than just a vacationer.

After this she needed a real vacation, Christy thought with a sigh as she moved to lay on the beach again. While she sunned herself she opened her shield and built up her powers. While she played in the water she took mental notes. When she went shopping or to a restaurant she looked for any faces that she didn't think belonged, because there was a chance the bad guys were casing the area as well. Christy didn't know when Emma made the plans to come to the beach house or who knew before Christy did so she had no idea how much planning the enemy had been able to do. She couldn't really relax for even a moment.

……………….

"You were hard to hunt down." Mystique's voice was in the hotel room as Christy opened the door.

Christy felt a wave of relief that Mystique was back with a few days to spare and grinned a little at the compliment to her cover. "You're back." She closed the door and stepped inside, closer to Mystique while shifting back to herself. "I've got recon done and I can fill you in, but how did you do?"

"Take a moment to breath." Mystique told her and Christy started to smell the scent of Chinese food. "I brought dinner." It was hard to not press for details and Christy found herself pacing just a little as Mystique turned and pulled the bag up onto the table. Christy had a one bedroom suite right now. Had she known when Mystique was coming back she'd have gotten a two bedroom.

She was checking out tomorrow, for another identity, so they could get a two bedroom then, Christy thought as Mystique pulled a plastic fork out of the bag with a grin. "I thought I'd rather you actually managed to eat so I didn't get you chopsticks."

"Good." Christy spoke, her voice a little flat and Mystique looked up from the bag she'd started to explore again, some concern in her eyes.

"You never did learn how to relax during a mission did you? I saw you sunbathing and I'd hoped you were unwinding. You can't be hair trigger right now." Mystique's words were soft and still scolding.

"How did you even know it was me?" Christy asked, rather than deal with the words.

"You have tells. Little things you do that are 100 percent Christy." Mystique grinned a little. "Since I was the only one that knew you had them I didn't bother telling you about them. I like being able to find you."

"What?" Christy's voice went quiet and angry. "You were supposed to train me and you let me walk around with an obvious tell?"

"Not obvious." Mystique put the bag down and Christy swore the woman was battle ready, it forced Christy to exam how she was acting and she noticed her clenched fists and threatening stance. Christy took a deep breath and forced herself to relax. There were traitors out there, but Mystique wasn't one of them. "Just small things that I'd notice. I'm not even sure you're lover would, she's not a shape shifter. Other people won't see it, not when you cover it with Emma's tells. You're little swap the President game is safe." Mystique's voice softened. "If we'd gone further with your training, if you had planned to be more than a body double for someone you knew well, I would have brought it up. You do an excellent Emma and that's really the main goal you had."

"Okay." Christy sighed and moved to sit down. "But I want to know those tells, I might need to be able to do more now." It had been an argument they'd had before, when Christy refused more advanced training because she needed to be at work. Mystique had been right and it was obvious now. Just because she had only intended to use her powers one way didn't mean emergencies wouldn't come up that demanded more of her. Mystique's lips moved just a little and the woman didn't even need to say 'I told you so,' Christy heard it.

During dinner Mystique didn't want to talk about business, and after the second attempt to turn the conversation that way Christy stopped and just stared at her friend. Her mind flashed back on meeting one of her doubles and how she'd been told that Destiny didn't let them talk about work over meals. This wasn't Mystique teasing her by not telling, or being cold by not realizing Christy needed to know what had happened. This was Mystique still living by Destiny's household rules. Christy stopped asking, and she took a deep breath as she let that suspicion grow.

"I met Irene in one of those worlds." Christy spoke quietly. She hadn't said too much about her travels, not yet anyway, but this could be said. Irene probably would have wanted her to say it. "She and that Mystique helped me." Mystique stopped eating and stared at her. Christy stared back. "She asked about you, if you were okay. If you were seeing anyone. She seemed sad that you hadn't moved on." Mystique looked like she was thinking of what to say. Christy spoke faster. "I was pretty impressed with her. She's a good woman."

"Irene always was impressive." Mystique finally spoke, her voice quiet.

"I finally figured out that you were spoiled and that's why you treated me like a fifties housewife when I stayed with you." Christy teased quietly. "I can't see the future, so I couldn't possibly have dinner ready for you. You never kept normal hours."

"That's okay, after I got a taste of your cooking I realized it was much better that you couldn't have dinner ready. It made it easier to come back." Mystique teased just a little, but her eyes were a little too wide for it to be too comfortable. She'd shocked Mystique.

"How did they help you?" Mystique asked and Christy flinched. When yellow eyes became more concerned Christy damned herself for not seeing that question coming. She'd expected questions about Irene, or maybe Mystique's double.

Christy swallowed and stared down at her container of Chinese. Mystique's voice was soft, caring. "Are you ready to tell me yet?" Christy's jaw tightened as she got the feeling Mystique knew, but she couldn't.

Mystique's double had known, not details, but she said she could see it, Christy remembered and her heart felt tight. She knew at times she was a little off, but she didn't really think people could tell by looking at her. That wasn't a comforting thought.

"You said you'd done things and things were done to you Christy. You can't think I wouldn't notice you saying something like that." Mystique spoke quietly. "I've been thinking about it ever since I left, and I really don't like the conclusions I'm coming to."

"Yeah," Christy looked up, a sick fake attempt at a smile on her face. "Well, you're probably right."

Mystique's jaw clenched, and her fist. "I'll kill them, every last one." Mystique hissed out and Christy just played with her fork. That was what she thought Mystique would say if she knew, but the people Mystique wanted vengeance on didn't live here. "Those bastards sent you to hell and we aren't taking prisoners."

Christy looked up to see Mystique's narrowed eyes, making Christy think she was seeing some villain in her mind. It took a moment for her to see that Mystique was going to blame the assassins. That made some sense, it might give Mystique some closure, make her feel like she could do something.

It might make her too careless, Christy thought with some concern.

…………….


	49. Shadows Part 2

500 Miles

Shadows

By Princess Alexandria

The silence was a little awkward and Christy was starting to worry about Mystique. Christy spoke in a gentle voice, "The first world I went to wasn't too bad." Christy shifted a little in her chair and watched as Mystique finally looked back over at her. "They'd had some tough times, but for the most part my stay there was nice enough." Her mind barely acknowledged the fact that she'd been shot there, she pushed that unpleasantness away as she remembered the other parts of her stay.

"What was it like?" Mystique asked just as gently and Christy sighed just a little, realizing that she really was going to do this. She was going to talk about it.

Part of her felt uncomfortable and she felt like she shouldn't waste time on this now, that they needed to talk about the mission. Still, it was apparent that Mystique needed her to talk just as much as Christy knew she needed to talk. If it were her double Raven sitting in this position she'd tell the Xman to tell her friends, so Christy took the advice, seeing how hard it was.

"At first I thought I'd lost my powers, because I couldn't shift and I could bleed." Christy used her fork to stir at the Chinese food container, watching as chow mein swirled on it. "It turned out that when I hit a double coming out of my portal I merge with her. It was just lucky I hadn't hit the double of this world, or she'd have been trapped inside of me." Christy looked up and Mystique wasn't pretending to eat. Christy gave her a small smile. "The Emma in that world worked at Xavier's institute and she helped teach me how to separate from my double so I could try again." Christy didn't mention the travesty that was that Emma's love life.

"But as I later found out, my ability to concentrate wasn't all that good and when I tried to come home a stray thought had me learning that time wasn't really a factor at all with my powers. I went back in time to when I was a college student, when I was married to Michelle." Christy made a face and Mystique smiled just a little in encouragement. "I ditched Michelle and found Emma, but Emma was a college freshman and that was the year that she was learning about her powers the most. We stumbled along with how to do it, and I lived in a college dorm while we waited for me to power up and for that Emma to learn how to use her powers on me."

"You needed that?" Mystique asked.

"Yeah, I couldn't talk to the women I possessed, and they needed to know how to help me get out." Christy's mind went to Raven. "It wasn't until the third jump that I found a double that could talk to me." Christy's words trailed off as she considered her words carefully. "I knew that in the first world I'd probably scared my double pretty bad and she had been hurt, but for the most part my showing up saved her life. She'd was being chased and I stopped the men from hurting her. In the second world I screwed up my doubles relationship with Michelle, but knowing how two faced Michelle is or was, well I would have preferred to know while I was still young, a little warning would have been nice, so I hurt that double, but I really thought she'd be better off."

Christy looked up with shiny eyes and stared into compassionate yellow eyes. "But my third double, Oh god. I was never so ashamed of my powers and my jumping then I was in that world." Christy took a deep breath and noticed that Mystique moved from her seat to the one next to Christy. "Her codename was Raven." Christy gave a small smile at the memory. "She was a hero, an Xman, and she was desperate. The Professor had screwed her over so badly." Christy shook her head and prayed that Raven was free of it, that running really had been the right thing to do. "You know how Tessa here used to be a spy for Xavier?" Christy looked up and watched Mystique nod. "Well, she was there too, but there was so much more to it I hope isn't true here. Raven and Tessa were so in love and the Professor sent Tessa on that mission and never told Raven." Christy's deep breath was shaky. "Raven was in the middle of sneaking into the Hellfire club to see her lover, a woman she hadn't seen in years, to get some closure or most likely to just see her. God Raven loved her." Tears streamed down Christy's face. "But I merged with her and we were captured."

Christy went silent, clenching her fist as she faced the memories out loud. "Tessa couldn't break her cover, but she did what she could. That Emma was cold and scary, but she was helping us at times as well." Christy looked up at Mystique and felt the woman take her hand gently. "We were raped a lot, men, women, and poor Raven, well… it gets worse." Christy opened her hand and took Mystique's hand, staring at it. "In the middle of all that, I found out that Raven had training and could take over enough to speak at times. I also found out that if someone shows you kindness when no one else does, well, I hope Emma forgives me." Christy looked up and did her best to not cry. "I wanted someone and I gave myself to her. It felt good to actually give rather than have it taken, and I needed." Christy's words trailed off. "I saw why Raven loved Tessa, and I saw some dark parts of Emma that hurt, but I was with her willingly too, not happily, but willingly. At that point it meant next to nothing to go down on someone." Mystique's jaw clenched for just a moment, but the woman was clearly trying to hold her anger down for Christy. Christy did appreciate that. "We were there a week and then we were rescued. That's when I saw poor Raven hadn't really escaped hell, because she was a prisoner of sorts to the Professor. That's when I sought out that Mystique, I always know where to go for help." Christy squeezed Mystique's hand gently. "And I wasn't disappointed. Mystique and Irene helped us get Raven out of that." Christy took another look at the hand holding hers. "I fell in love with myself there," A weak chuckle escaped her lips. "Raven was," Christy shook her head a little. "I would have kept her if I could have, I loved her. We got each other out of that hell, we supported each other, and she suffered for me." Christy's voice got quieter. "I hope she's okay."

"I'm so sorry." Mystique whispered, and really what could anyone say to this, Christy thought to herself.

"So that world was where things were done to me the most." Christy said, remembering the words that started this conversation. "And I miss it sometimes, isn't that crazy. I miss them." Christy shook her head and decided that tonight wasn't the night for great detail.

"The next world was where I did things I'm the most ashamed of, well if you don't count getting Raven captured but she told me it wasn't my fault, she forgave me everything. In the fourth world was where I did the most good." Christy squeezed Mystique's hand, thinking of the other Mystique that got her through all of that. "I can at least say that I left things better in that world, better for some, and for those I hurt it was hard, but they were on the way out anyway. An asteroid was almost there." Mystique's hand jerked a little, squeezed a bit tighter and there was a small gasp. The rape wasn't a surprise to her, but this was. "I had to hunt people to power up in time to save them, but I saved Mystique and her people, I took them with me as I left." Christy caressed Mystique's arm. "But that Mystique and I, we had to kill everyone we could to get out. Everyone," Christy stared into her own Mystique's eyes. "Even children. She'd never killed a child before, neither had I. It was hard, but everyone in that world was going to die in a couple of weeks anyhow and their deaths gave me the power to save some. I saved twenty people, sent them to a good world where they could have a future." Christy shook her head. "I hurt a lot of people in my travels, but I helped some people too. Even Raven said she was thankful I had come, even Raven."

"Is that why you won't stop this before it starts?" Mystique asked softly, moving to caress Christy's hair. "Is this why you'll still let yourself fall into that portal when you could stop it, because you helped people? You could erase it all, never have to remember or feel…" Mystique's words trailed off. "Who are you doing this for?"

Christy looked away, staring at the shadows on the walls from the sun slipping through the curtains. "I debated about stopping it, creating a paradox that might very well kill who I am now, but spare me all I went through. I considered it." She sighed. "Thinking of what Raven went through with me, I really considered it for her too." Christy stared into Mystique's eyes. "But twenty one people are alive today in those other worlds because I came when I did. Twenty one good people. My first double would have died, but now she is learning about her powers." Christy swallowed hard, because this decision was condemning more than her. "Raven is a hero, she really is. She didn't have much power, but her heart was gold. Is gold. She'd understand my decision, and maybe now that she's escaped the Xmen, well maybe she'll be able to be happy. She hasn't been happy in so long." Christy knew she was right and Raven would understand if she ever knew a decision could have been made. "And an Emma died for her people on the asteroid world, an Emma that loved my double enough to marry her. My double in that world died from grief." Christy looked back at Mystique. "But I saved her Hellion in that world, I condemn them in Raven's but I saved them there. And I saved a Mystique and her kids, along with a few others. I did that, and I don't want to take that back. I've been working so hard so I don't take that back."

Christy took a few gasping breaths, before stopping breathing. Mystique pulled her close. "Oh baby, you always were too self sacrificing." Christy could feel that she wasn't the only one shaking just a little as Mystique held her.

"Please, help me to not take it back." Christy whispered, knowing she was asking a lot of someone that loved her and wanted to spare her pain. "I need to do this, I need to save Emma and I need to fall into that portal."

"You never ask for easy things." Mystique complained quietly.

"I know." Christy bowed her head a little. "I know how hard it is to just sit back and watch someone get hurt, knowing it's coming. I was here the morning before Emma got shot and I didn't stop it." Her voice became a whisper. "I did that to my own lover, just so I could fall into hell. I know you could stop it all, but you have to see what this means to me. I let that bastard shoot my Emma again, I let him." Her voice cracked and Christy just went quiet as they sat at the table with their half eaten dinner. They both went quiet.

……………….

"I determined that you had three spies, and I believe it is Warren that knows about the trip Emma is planning. I watched him meet with two other people on two separate occasions, people it didn't make sense for him to be meeting with." Mystique spoke as they sat in the living room. It was the first mention of the mission and Christy was grateful for it. The dinner discussion was draining, and they'd taken a break, but they had a mission to do.

Warren wasn't someone Christy was overly fond of. The rich blonde man was around once in a while and Emma met with him for business, but Christy was still a little surprised he'd know anything. Emma thought he was a bit of a jerk, not that anyone could tell by how she treated him. Emma had talked him into moving some of his businesses, and therefore jobs, to Genosha.

"I'd hoped it was just one." Christy spoke quietly. "Who else?" She asked quietly, her fingers crossed mentally that it wasn't anyone that Emma would miss, had cared about. They were dead as far as Christy was concerned, they just hadn't been killed yet.

"Dr. McCoy." Mystique listed slowly and Christy grimaced. Emma liked that one. She wouldn't once she heard this, but still it would hurt. "And Kitty Pryde." Well, Emma hadn't really gotten along with Kitty, Christy thought with a mental sigh. "With Kitty's computer skills and powers she is by far the most dangerous mole in your backyard."

"So Tessa's cleared?" Christy asked and Mystique's eyebrow rose just a little. It made Christy feel a little uncomfortable having revealed who she was really worried might change sides, and not just because Tessa was a very hard person to fight.

"Not only cleared, she appears to be clued in. I found evidence that Tessa is collecting evidence on our three unexpected backstabbers." Mystique reported and Christy felt a confusion of pride at Tessa's abilities when she barely spent time with this one, and shame at her own inability to do what Tessa could. Mystique's voice slowed down. "I ran into a little trouble with her actually. She found me in the computers and I had to reveal myself to her, or end up fighting my way out of there, and we need to keep this whole mission quiet."

"What happened?" Christy asked, her voice lower as she struggled with the idea of outwitting Tessa, it just wasn't possible.

"I told her I was working on the assassination attempt, that I'd been brought in secretly." Mystique sighed. "And she saw right through that one, offering to call you up and ask you about this mission. I couldn't let her do that, so she got the truth out of me."

"What?" Christy felt like she'd gotten colder, her mind was already running to too many directions, this was one more fuck up she didn't need. Mystique was normally so careful.

"I'd already considered bringing her in Christy. We've got a battle on too many fronts, and two people aren't going to be enough." Mystique spoke with authority and Christy ran her hand through her hair a little roughly. "She's clean of all this, she's unreadable by the telepaths, and she is good at what she does. All of this and she has even more clearance than you do, since she set up the computers and runs them."

Christy just shook her head and sighed, this was getting out of hand. She preferred to call all the shots, but Mystique wasn't one to let her. Then again Mystique rarely called for more help either. Tessa was trustworthy, if she didn't decide to just prevent the attack altogether.

They talked for over an hour, discussing the mission and their roles in it. Tessa was going to focus on the spies, preventing any measures they took to help in the attack and capturing them. Mystique was with Christy on the beach. That was Mystique's plan and Christy went with it. There was no point in not, because they weren't calling Tessa and risking anyone finding out what they were up to.

It felt strange working with Tessa, even without saying anything to the woman. Christy wondered how she'd deal with meeting the woman now.

……………………..

After some rather underhanded dealings, they were armed well. Christy stood in the hotel room putting the gun in her holster, while also making a mental note to have the gun dealer arrested for selling to shady people like her and Mystique later. They'd offered no id and he'd done no background check. That was illegal in Genosha, highly illegal. Emma was in the middle of making the selling of guns even more restricted but it wasn't a passed law yet.

"Ready." Mystique asked, as she stepped out of the bathroom. She was armed well as well. Her form was her own right now, but they needed to shift again before leaving. Christy looked out the window at the grey sky and the wind pushing at the trees. It was a bad day for a picnic, her mind reminded her of her original plan for this day. It was Emma that suggested the beach, Christy hadn't expected that her lover would be able to give her a weekend. Christy had been ready to settle for a lunch.

"You be careful too." Christy stared into her friend's yellow eyes. "I almost wish I wasn't taking you. All my eggs are in one basket." Christy's jaw clenched a little as she considered the worst that could happen.

"I'm hardly new at this." Mystique spoke gently and Christy nodded, pushing her vulnerability aside and standing a little taller. Her own battle ready mask of cold determination came over her face and Mystique nodded before shifting into the boyfriend to Christy's young female shape, the one she shifted into as well.

The guns were hidden in their bodies, safest from being seen. "This is a lousy plan." Christy said while opening the front door.

"You worry too much." Mystique grinned a little and followed her out the door.

…………………

Christy shortened her hair, tired of it flying around her in a mass. Christy had her foot wedged under the rock and her vision was partially obscured by the mask she wore, giving her tunnel vision. She stared up, waiting.

A small glow from her belt flashed brighter and that drew her attention. Christy moved slowly and pulled the specially built phone off of her belt and held it up, reading her text message. The words scrolled across the screen, 'You and Emma just pulled up to the beach house.'

Taking another look up, searching as far as she could, she saw nothing. Her fingers moved repeatedly over the keys as she typed her own message back. 'No sight of them yet, but the fishing here should be good tomorrow.' She gave a grim grin and looked over at the odd fish swimming up to nose the rock Christy was using to keep her body in place under the water.

Her equipment was either waterproof or in a case that she'd put in the cargo pants she had on currently. Her clothing was black and she wasn't breathing at all. She returned to her position staring up, only this time it wasn't an asteroid she was staring up at, but the water as she waited for the boat that she'd heard the attackers come from so long ago.

The underside of a boat slowly came into view after what felt like a long wait, but probably wasn't, and Christy stared at it a moment, taking in the size and trying to estimate how far away it was. It probably a yacht, but the bottom of it was black or dark. It was hard to tell here. Christy heard the motor chopping through the water and moved to pull her phone up again. 'I have a bite.' Was all she typed.

'And I'm gonna have a rash.' Mystique typed back, once again complaining about her own position. The woman was laying on the rough roof of a neighbor's house, waiting hopefully downwind.

Christy would have sighed if she could. She put the phone back on her belt and shifted just a little as she stared up at the boat bottom coming closer. Christy was near the drop, so the boat wouldn't be able to get past her by much or it would bottom out. This was where the attackers went to water.

Christy was irritated by the water everywhere, but she stared up with a grim look on her face. They were fighting this battle on too many fronts and it made her worried. She watched the bottom of the boat as an anchor was lowered several feet from her and she watched it throw up dust into the water as it hit the ground.

The flash of her phone had Christy pulling it up without really looking at it, until it was up above her head so she could see both it and the bottom of the boat. A different name scrolled across the screen. 'His spies are detained.' It was brief and right to the point. Christy stared at it a moment, debating about responding, but she pulled the phone down and started to tap at the keys.

'Things are starting to move here. Good job, but from here out I need to focus.' She almost hit send, but waiting another moment and then typed out a few more words. 'I feel better knowing you are with us Tessa.' This was her first contact with the woman, but the time where Tessa was a suspect as well was hard, so she had to say something.

After sending that Christy was about to put her phone away, but another message scrolled across it. 'You stepped outside with Emma.'

Christy looked up and saw what had caught the corner of her eye, a smaller boat being lowered very slowly into the water to avoid making noise. Christy shoved the phone into place without responding and pulled her foot out from under the rock. Christy moved carefully toward the anchor as she watched the small boat shift as people stepped into it. It rocked a bit and it wasn't all the rough weather causing it.

The smaller boat started to move as Christy's hand closed around the chain on the anchor. This time she didn't type out a message, just a letter, it was their own shorthand. The letter A meant the bad guys were on the way. Typing more right now, in the middle of the action, was a waste of attention and time. Christy wrapped her other hand around the chain and jumped up as much as she could while not rocking the chain suspiciously. Christy's feet kicked behind her as she moved up toward the large boat.

Mystique was the one to say that it was rather unusually for Emma to be unconscious right up until Christy was tossed into her portal, that the hit they took wouldn't have done that and that Emma was more than strong enough to sense the bad guys coming. It made it clear that there was yet another front this battle needed to be fought on, and Christy's lack of need to breath bought her this battle.

She trusted Mystique to hold the mess on the beach together long enough for Christy to get there.

As she broke out of the water she did it quietly and then moved to carefully shove now sharpened fingers into the side of the boat as she worked to climb up. She clung to the outside of the boat while she listened hard, but while there were some sounds of movement they weren't on the deck. Christy carefully slipped over the edge and silently as possible set her feet on the deck of the boat. She looked around and moved lower to the ground as she pulled the water mask off and tossed it softly into the water. She quickly shifted her wet clothes and then put them back on, a bit dryer than before. She didn't want the squish of wetness to give her away and a puddle out here wouldn't be suspicious.

Glancing at the beach she could see from this angle what she couldn't see before from the beach, the attackers shadows and her and Emma standing on the beach. It was about to get ugly and Christy needed to hurry up. All the stealth in the world was useless if you missed the battle.

……………….

Christy moved silently into the cabin of the boat, her gun now out and in front of her. She moved as quickly as she dared, unsure of how many people might still be aboard. She had a target she needed to get, and wasting time with others wasn't an option.

Her face was stony as she noticed the light shine off of a bald head. She took just a moment to stare at him, comparing him to other versions of him she'd met. His hands held in front of him, fingers touching and making a small tent shape. His eyes were closed as he focused, and Christy's lips became thinner as she stared at this proof that Mystique was right. Emma was fighting a different battle, against a more powerful foe. Christy didn't waste time telling him why she was doing this, and she bit her tongue at all the things she wanted to say as she just lifted her arm and pulled the trigger.

He heard something, moved just a little, but Christy's bullet still got the powerful telepath right in the side of the head. He slumped to the side, but didn't fall out of his wheelchair. "Bastard." She muttered and moved to turn, but the sound of footsteps startled her. Christy glanced around for a darkened corner.

"Charles?" A woman's voice called out, sounding a bit shocked. It sounded like she knew something was wrong. Christy backed away from the doorway and pulled her gun back up to aim.

The sudden mental scream from her lover caught Christy by surprise. Christy's body tensed as images flew through her mind. Part of her consciousness knew this was Emma's scream when Christy was tossed into the portal. Christy felt Emma's love and desperation, her fear, and it hurt to think the woman was feeling this.

Still it proved that Christy had been here before, that she was the reason Emma woke up. Charles Xavier had been keeping Emma unconscious, and Christy's killing him had stopped that.

The sounds of gunfire drew her eyes toward the window, as she sought out the beach. Emma's mental voice was still screaming for her and Christy could barely see under the extreme pressure. She tried to reach out to Emma, to reassure her.

Her distraction cost her. She didn't hear the door open or the fast footsteps. The metal arm near her face had her jerking backwards but not enough. He hit her and Christy once again found herself flying at a wall.

The sound of cracking wall did register, along with pain and Christy put her shields up high, because Emma was distracting her just as she didn't need it. Christy moved quickly to the side, stumbling partly to get out of range of the metal man. Her mind filled in nearly useless information, his man. All she cared about was that her gun would be useless with him, but she remembered him as Peter or Colossus from the comics. The metal skin was a plan give away that it was him.

She was needed on the beach and this was a major screw up. She looked at the man and then noticed the bald and small woman in the doorway with the hateful expression on her face. There was something not right about either of them. Peter was too focused on her, not even looking at the body Christy had managed to put between her and them. And the other woman held a mad type of hatred that held no grief. Christy stood a little taller and decided to test it. "I killed him, and I'll kill all of you." She motioned with her gun filled hand at the Professor, and her eyes widened a little as she noticed something she hadn't while aiming at his head. She looked as briefly as she could at the body and her heart sank as she noticed the inhibitor around his neck. He'd been a prisoner.

"I know." The bald woman growled out, clearly mad at her. Christy determined that the Professor must have been her prisoner. "I brought him here to see his precious Xmen destroy his dream of peaceful co-existence, and you killed him before I could destroy him." Christy's expression turned steel like herself, only allowing a fraction of a second of regret at the mistake. Instead she held her gun out and prepared herself for a hell of a battle.

She noticed now that Peter was robotic, controlled. It made it clear she was right that it was a telepath she was after, just not which telepath. She'd never seen any bald woman in any reports she'd ever seen; a small bald old woman with hateful eyes, and a more than passing resemblance to the now dead man.

As Peter lunged at her, not as graceful as she suspected he could be. She didn't waste time she just moved. She did notice he knocked over the body and didn't even notice it. It was a bit morbid, something even she never did. Once the battle was over though, she had to admit in a battle she had walked over bodies. She'd just never expected an Xman to do this to their beloved Professor. The dead man landed with a thump, but Christy still in motion and she was aiming at the other telepath

He knocked her aim off and Christy shot the wall. Her body was in motion, and only partly under her control. She tried one desperate attempt to shoot Peter, but the bullets bounced off of him, two hitting her. They went through her and into the wall. He wasn't even slowed down. He didn't fear bullets like she didn't, but then with the way he was acting he wasn't really home either.

Christy leapt over a couch and ran for the doorway the old woman must have snuck out. She could hear the woman not far in front of her and Christy knew she was the key to the entire battle. She needed to get that telepath fast because Emma and Mystique were outnumbered on the beach and the sounds of a battle reached her ears as she started up the stairs to the deck, even over the loud running footsteps chasing her.

It felt like a car hit her as she was slammed into the stairs and Christy let out a yelp of pain. His mass was immense and she twisted and squirmed to try and get loose, but found herself trapped. Her heart hammered a little as her body struggled madly trying to get loose, to get away. Fear at being bound hit her and it gave her strength she rarely ever had. Christy managed to buck him off of her and she didn't bother to look, she just got up and kept running. She could hear bullets on the beach and her ears could hear a splash next to the boat. She ran for that side to stare down and see a lone bald woman staring a small boat engine and the raft was getting away.

Then she felt her bones jarred and air as strong arms held her tight, the water rushing up to meet them. With his metal body wrapped around her they started to sink fast. Christy struggled, his arms hurting with the strength he used. They fell lower and lower, into darkened water.

Christy turned to stare him in the eye and used her one free arm to grab the gun out of her trapped arm. She pulled her gun up, and it felt awkward, but she pulled the trigger while aiming right for his eyes. Blood pooled out and his body released her, floating down further without her in his grasp. She could feel his death, like she'd felt the last man's death and it was with a small bit of regret that Christy stared just a moment and shook her head at the senselessness of this.

She tucked the gun into her pocket and started to swim up, her legs moving as fast as she could and her feet shifting to flippers, she raced for the shore. She couldn't catch the telepath now, but she could try and stop the Xmen.

Christy felt the sand with a kick of her feet and knew she was almost there. She scrambled onto the beach while doing her best to see what was going on. One body was on the ground and Christy almost stumbled over him. She stared down at the tall man and the smell of blood. She hadn't sensed any death on the beach and she suspected he was still with the living. Maybe not for long, but Scott Summers hadn't died yet.

Christy saw that Emma was up and fighting mentally with Jean. She could hear a battle going on around the side of the house and suspected that Mystique was really in trouble. Christy froze for a moment in indecision, unsure of who needed her more.

Emma was desperately fighting a stronger telepath, even though neither moved. Christy made up her mind as the blonde fell to her knees, and she ran up behind the redhead with sharpening fingers. She would have stabbed but Jean moved, as if sensing her. It was bad luck, but Christy switched her attack to a clawing at the woman's back. Jean screamed and Emma did something that silenced the redhead.

Christy found herself standing in front of her lover for the first time in over a year and a half. She stared into sharp blue eyes and almost lost herself in them, seeing Emma's relief that she was okay, but a nearby death scared her out of her trance and Christy's eyes widened as she didn't hear any more fighting on the side of the house. "Oh no." Christy begged softly as she started to run for them. "Please no." Logan was nearly immortal, Mystique wasn't.

It was dark, and Christy had her eyes enhanced as much as she could. She saw a figure on the ground and another standing over it arm held out, but she couldn't see more. "Mystique." Christy called out, hoping. The standing figure moved to look up at her and it shrunk a little. Christy let out a relieved breath.

"I wish I could say I was winning, but he just collapsed, I didn't hit him." Mystique's voice was flat. "Not yet at least." The blue woman's voice was filled with cold anger.

"Wait." Emma's voice called out as Mystique was returning her arm, which Christy could see held a gun, up and aimed at Logan. "They were controlled."

"Nice alibi, but this bastard tossed her into that damned portal." Mystique snarled. "I don't care if telepaths were pulling his strings."

"Mystique." Christy took a step closer when she heard Mystique's pain. Mystique had to let it happen and apparently it was asking too much of her friend to ask for that.

"Chuck." Logan groaned out. "Cassandra." Christy stared down at him.

"Tessa found the telepath." Emma told them. "She was killed." Christy gave the ground her puzzled look, since she couldn't really see features very well in the dark so looking at anyone made no difference.

Christy glanced down at her phone and noticed it was lit. She pulled it up to read it. 'Found the woman that ran, she didn't survive the encounter.' Was posted a minute ago. Another message ran across as she stared. 'heading to shore, Tessa.' "Don't let him move." Christy told Mystique, "but don't kill him yet, something is really wrong." She moved back toward the water to see the lights on a boat coming closer. Tessa and her multitasking had her at two battle fronts. Christy shook her head and glanced back at the women at the side of the building, her heart clenching as Emma leaned down closer to Logan.

"Stay away from him." Christy ordered softly. "Please, just until we know."

"He's been controlled Christy. He isn't the enemy." Emma ignored Christy's fear and reached out a hand to help him. His pained groans faded.

"No, really. Get away from him." Christy took a step closer, too paranoid to accept the battle was over just yet.

"If you aren't going to listen to your personal guard your majesty, well, what's the point of having one." Mystique piped up, her own voice as tense as Christy's. Emma backed away from Logan.

Emma came closer to her and the light from the approaching boat made it possible to see some of her features. "I thought I lost you." Emma whispered. Christy swallowed hard and fought the urge to cry, but her body started to shake. "Christy? Are you okay?"

"It's over." Christy muttered quietly, trying to calm her shakes by holding her arms around herself.

"Don't go into shock now baby, we need to hold it together just a little longer." Mystique reminded her and Christy tried to calm her shakes.

"Emma?" A familiar voice called out.

"Over here Tessa." Emma called out, but she was still looking at Christy with concern. Christy felt the brush against her shields, the touch that normally brought reassurance and love. She couldn't risk lowering her shield just yet though; Christy knew they had things to do. They didn't have time for the conversation just yet.

……………….


	50. Epilogue the end

500 Miles

Epilogue

By Princess Alexandria

Christy sighed heavily as she watched the circus that the beach had become. Shortly after Tessa came to shore a group of guards the cyberpath had arranged to visit the area, claiming it was a training exercise, swarmed. Christy stared as someone kneeled beside Scott and then nodded to the two men nearby. They had to know it was real by now. The stretcher was picked up and they moved toward the ambulance. Christy's eyes moved over to see Jean standing in the middle of another group, her arms chained behind her. The redhead looked at Scott and the look on her face haunted Christy.

Logan was already in the back of a van. Emma was angrily talking to the guard, trying to protest the protective measures. The handcuffs were unnecessary, even Christy knew that now.

Mystique's hand rested on her shoulder gently and Christy just stared as chaos reigned around them. This was home, and it seemed crazy. Christy felt like she was out of phase, unreal and out of time. She knew this feeling, she was in shock. She remembered feeling this on her own world a few times, but she also knew how to work through it. Her emotions were just turned off. They'd come back later.

"I need to do something." Christy whispered. She'd let the others take charge, but Emma was upset and Jean was crying. Christy moved toward them as she watched a guard unlock the cuffs on the redhead. Emma had better know that Jean wasn't going to go after vengeance, but if the woman wanted it Christy preferred to be the target. She walked up to them, and a few people moved out of her way.

Jean stared at her, and Christy straightened her shoulders and stared back. "I am sorry to inform you that Charles Xavier and Peter died." Christy's jaw clenched as she noticed the shocked flinch. She waited for the attack. "I miscalculated. I didn't know about the woman."

Jean's eyes went back to staring out at the water towards the boat. With the added light from the guards vehicles it was somewhat visible now. "You didn't know." Jean whispered, her voice rough.

"Remy is also dead." Christy spoke flatly and Jean turned to stare at her. The redhead was looking a bit stunned at the death count now. "I will attempt to contact the healer that saved Emma." Christy's voice softened. "For Scott." A little sympathetic pain was eating through her numbness and Christy's eyes softened. "If it makes you feel any better the Professor died quickly."

That earned her an angry glare and Christy just sighed quietly and waited to see if Jean would lash out. Emma was too close, and it made Christy a little nervous. Her eyes traveled to the blonde for just a moment to check how close she was.

Emma was staring at her a little too intensely as well. Christy didn't lower her shield but she suspected that Emma was a little surprised at the body count as well. When Christy looked back Jean was staring at her.

"So are you saying the others didn't die quickly?" Jean glanced over toward the ambulance again.

"Why don't you go with him?" Christy said, instead of answering. It appeared to be answer enough, because Jean looked haunted. The redhead just nodded and moved toward the ambulance, leaving Christy and Emma behind her.

"That's quite the body count." Emma spoke quietly, sounding casual. It wasn't a casual question though.

"If I thought she was a risk at all I would have killed her too." Christy said while watching the redhead walk away. "And I always liked her."

"The her you read about?" Emma asked and while other people were around Christy noticed no one was bothering them for a change. Christy looked around and found that Tessa was now the center of the commotion, and the dark haired woman met her eyes for a moment.

God Tessa looked good, in control, able to do it all. Christy felt a bit of envy and another part of her compared the woman to a slightly younger version she'd met before. Christy just nodded her thanks for the reprieve and turned to face Emma. "Yeah, but that isn't here." Christy sighed. "Are you okay?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that. You're blocking me, you never do that." Emma sounded just a little cautious, and she glanced over at Mystique as well. Mystique was watching from a distance and looking just as protective as she had been for days. That had to set off alarms in Emma's mind.

Christy gave Mystique a small smile and nodded, acknowledging her caring and hoping to encourage Mystique to calm down. Christy was okay, well shaky and starting to feel the effects of the battle now, but okay. Emma's worried eyes were cracking the numbness even more and Christy kind of missed not feeling as she glanced over at Jean stepping into the ambulance and thinking that it was almost her stepping into it for Emma. It really could have been her following her lover to the hospital and wondering if she'd find herself alone come the morning.

"We really need to contact the Healer." Christy said, unartfully dodging the question.

"Tessa said she'd already called her." Emma glanced over at the dark haired woman. "I don't know when she found the time." Christy suspected that call went out before the battle, it was a good idea. Another reason to be grateful Tessa was on their side. "I brought you out here for a romantic weekend." Christy watched as Emma looked at the beach sand and then stared back at Christy. "Just the two of us and apparently a squadron of unwilling assassins and a team of guards." Emma's voice sounded resigned. "Christy." Emma took Christy's elbow gently and started to push gently indicating she wanted a little more space between them and all the others. Christy bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from just moving into Emma and seeking her touch, her reassurance. She hated the damned distance they maintained in front of others, because Christy needed to touch Emma and feel her, she needed to lower her shield and feel the mental touch that would let her know she really was home.

She couldn't lower the shield until Emma knew, but they couldn't even talk with all of these people here. Emma took her hand and it was awkward, because Christy could see a few guards noticing and suddenly realizing those rumors were true. "What happened? How did you turn it around and end up on the boat?" Emma glanced at Mystique. "And how did you know where I was taking you? Or even talk her into guard duty?"

Emma was piecing the puzzle together and coming up with a plausible conclusion, the wrong one, but it sounded pretty plausible to Christy. It was more realistic sounding than the truth.

It was time for the truth.

"Emma." Christy sighed and glanced behind the woman at the other people. The ambulance was leaving, and a few other vehicles, but there was a small handful of guards still surrounding Tessa. "I didn't turn it around like that." Christy's eyes moved to those of her lover and she sighed as she let some of her pain show in her own eyes. She couldn't really put off saying this now. "I've been lost for over a year and a half. I just managed to come back to a time a little before the attack and try and set up some defense." Emma's eyes widened and her jaw dropped just a little as she stared at Christy. "It's been 19 months since I held you, can we please go inside?" A tear trailed down Christy's cheek. "It's so hard to not hold you now. I thought I might never see you again."

"Oh my god." Emma whispered and a moment later Christy found her lover pulling her close. "Christy." Emma whispered into her hair and held her tight, ignoring the audience and just being there for Christy.

Christy's body started to shake and she held Emma as tightly as she could do safely, being mindful of her strength. "Oh God I've missed you." Christy managed to say as her eyes stung with tears.

"I think you had the right idea. Lets go inside." Emma pulled back and took Christy's hand, using her thumb to caress the back of it. "Let's go inside." Emma said again, staring into Christy's eyes. Christy followed her, grateful that Emma didn't let go. Christy needed the touch to feel it was real. No other Emma held her hand, looked at her with love. This was her Emma.

"Tessa, your people can patrol the outside all they'd like, but no one goes inside." Emma ordered as they passed the others. Christy moved to look at Tessa a moment as they passed, Tessa who was doing her job for her and she nodded just a little in appreciation. Tessa nodded back and then turned to talk to the group of four she had with her.

Mystique stared at Christy and then moved to join Tessa's group. It was enough to have Christy tearing up a little. Mystique was lowering herself to babysitter, that's what she called the people who did Christy's work, and she was doing it so Christy would feel safer tonight. Christy knew her friend well enough to know why Mystique wasn't going to go find a nice warm bed to sleep in tonight.

It seemed like Christy just blinked and she found herself standing in the living room with Emma. She looked around the room, took in the warmth of the fire. Her eyes widened as memories of last being here washed over her, and the promise this weekend had held back then.

Emma was watching her as Christy finally moved to look at the woman. "I remember when we had our first anniversary we were interrupted with the American's trying to block supply ships from reaching our shores. We had one nice meal and then had to go back to work." Christy swallowed hard and reached out to Emma's hand, holding it while standing in the middle of the room. "And this time we were attacked." Christy took a shaky breath. "I hope our third anniversary is boring."

"I'll do my best to make it as boring as it can possibly be." Emma spoke gently. Christy took a shaky breath and stepped back to sit on the couch, never letting go of Emma, so Emma was forced to move to the side and sit as well. "What happened?" Emma asked and Christy felt the wave of tiredness and the need for closeness. She didn't want to do this talk yet again this week.

"Just hold me?" Christy asked hopefully. "I just need you to hold me." Emma leaned back and Christy partly crawled over her lover's body, resting her head on Emma's chest. She wasn't there long before she started to cry. Her body shook and her throat hurts as she clung to her Emma, and Emma caressed her back in silence.

…………………

Christy rested on Emma for a long time and she lost track of when she fell asleep, but when she woke up she grimaced as she considered how sore her lover would be from laying at this angle. She slowly and carefully backed off of Emma and stared at the woman who had fallen asleep holding her. Christy moved quietly to stand and just watched Emma sleep.

The night before, well Emma's night before, she hadn't gotten much rest. Christy remembered that fondly.

Wiping her face of lingering tear tracks Christy moved quietly toward the kitchen for water. She found a glass and filled it, before she heard the very soft knock on the backdoor. At first her body tensed, but then she knew there were guards out there and attackers wouldn't knock.

Christy slowly opened the door to find a dark haired woman. Tessa stared into her eyes for a moment, briefly and most likely she'd analyzed a million things from that one stare. Christy waited. "Emma dropped something on the beach and I told her I'd find it." Tessa spoke quietly, correctly interpreting that Emma was sleeping not too far away from the way Christy opened the door. Tessa held out a small bag, very tiny really and Christy hesitantly reached out to take it. "It's her's." Tessa spoke that a little more slowly, and it felt like a warning to not open it.

"Thank you." Christy glanced past the woman at the rising sun over the water, and the beach. The sand was trampled, clear evidence of a rough night. Finding something this small out there had to be challenging, even for Tessa. Christy carefully put the bag in her pocket, but she continued to lean on the door as her eyes moved to Tessa again. "For everything." She added quietly, her eyes lingering on Tessa's face, and trailing over her clothes. It was more than she'd worn at the Hellfire club, but the cut and the style still left a lot visible, not as much as Emma tended to do, but Tessa had no shame left either.

"I've arranged for guards for the afternoon, but then we really need to go back to the capital and figure out what we'll be doing with the captives." Tessa moved a little to the side and stared out at the water. "I had someone fish Peter's body out of the water. It took a crane, he tends to sink."

Christy sighed and stared out at the boat now clearly visible. "Give the bodies to Jean." Christy debated for a moment. "There is another body, I buried him. I'm not sure she should get his. I worked him over to get information."

"I'll have him cremated. She won't see it." Tessa was looking at her again and Christy just nodded, it was a good solution. Still Jean would know why, but she could only guess as to how bad it had been. People tended to underestimate in situations like that, wanting to believe it was a peaceful death. Christy sighed heavily, feeling the weight of her mistake. A lot of people suffered and died in this latest mess, and Christy knew that most of the blame fell on her.

They stood quietly for a moment longer, and it felt awkward to Christy. She blushed just a little as she realized she had been looking for affection and reassurance in those eyes, but this Tessa wasn't the one she remembered, and even that affection hadn't really been hers. This Tessa looked a little puzzled, but that was covered quickly. "You do know you'll need to file a report."

Christy sighed heavily and nodded. "I think you should rely on Emma's more, because this happened a long time ago for me. I'll mark what's old news and what's new." Christy stepped outside and quietly closed the door behind her. She crossed her arms in front of her and quietly watched the water and the sun beating on it for a long moment. "I screwed up Tessy." She whispered and then cringed a little as the pet name escaped her, she barely knew this Tessa and that had been Raven's pet name for her own Tessa. The silence felt too long before Christy just forged forward. "I think maybe my judgment is off, too off. I can't be her lover and her guard." Christy grimaced, this wasn't a new thought. She'd had plenty of time to analyze what went wrong on this beach, almost two years to come to the conclusion. "I'm going to resign. I'd like to offer your name in my place. This never would have happened if you'd been her guard, you never would have made the mistakes I did."

"Emma will say this isn't your fault." Tessa pointed out as they took another step away from the house.

"She'll say it for the same reason that this happened, because she's my lover. She has to support me when I'm down, but really she should fire me for allowing us to even leave the capital without guards." Christy's jaw clenched for a moment. "I caved way too easy on that and I've had a long time to think about this Tessa. I know you," Tessa's eyebrow rose, because Christy hadn't known her all that well, "and I trust you. I can't say I'd trust anyone more with this."

It was a little disconcerting to stand still and watch Tessa study her, reading between the lines. "Mystique told me you'd been to several worlds and been gone a while, but she was unable to tell me what you'd been through." Tessa glanced toward a car for a moment and then back. "But I suspect that after she returned to you she found out. She appears to be very troubled. She also has been giving me a few strange looks tonight, as if measuring me, evaluating me."

Christy sighed very heavily and considered her words carefully. Emma hadn't even been given any answers yet. "Why don't you just say what you want to know Tessa. I know you notice a lot."

"You're haunted, Mystique's worried and hovering, and you look at me with far too much affection. You are skittish for you, and while others night not notice those that know you well, and I, do notice. You are talking about giving me a job protecting Emma, who we all know you'd die for and you claim to trust me more than anyone. We've barely had any dealings in the past. Two times I went out with you and a team for training exercises. I could go on and describe your nervous fingers fidgeting as we talk, or how when you were nervous last night you would look for me. That a nod from me seems to reassure you that things are okay." Tessa stopped talking and Christy grimaced, knowing Tessa could go on even more.

This was not a conversation she wanted to have. "I met a Tessa in my travels." Christy spoke softly and moved just a little further still from the house, wanting to distance this conversation from Emma, who still didn't know. "It made me regret not getting to know you better." Christy stopped talking, but her eyes slid to the side to look at the woman next to her. "Look, a lot has happened to me in the time I was gone, but I learned from it. One thing I learned was that I can trust you."

"She was a double, not me." Tessa spoke quietly, but Christy noticed a softening in her eyes.

"She was my double's lover." Christy whispered. She didn't elaborate on more, but Tessa's eyes seemed to take in every little movement, and the small blush on Christy's cheeks. "I may have," Christy bit her lip and turned to stare at the water. "well, you get the idea."

"Why?" But Tessa coupled that with a soft touch to the arm and Christy stared at the touch. Tessa, this woman, didn't touch anyone often.

"I met her at the Hellfire club." Christy wrapped her arms around her as if she were cold and swallowed hard. "She was undercover, and I was a prisoner." Christy's eyes fell to the ground. "Emma will forgive me won't she?" She asked quietly. "It's just, it was hell and you…" Christy shook her head, "She was so tender with me." Christy's eyes were a bit haunted as she looked up at a thoughtful looking Tessa. "Was this Hellfire club like that?"

"It was rather decadent." Tessa spoke slowly.

"Did they rape people for fun here?" Christy asked and noticed the flinch Tessa had. "Did you get abused like that too?"

"No, I can't say they did. Sex was given freely, and while the sex I had was in keeping with my cover, it wasn't rape." Tessa had that expression, the one that looked so familiar to Christy now, concern.

"Good." Christy just nodded and looked away. Silence filled the air and Christy remembered the guards suddenly, her eyes widening as she glanced around to reassure herself that none were close enough to hear. The few she saw were far off and partly hidden, but it was enough to make her feel this conversation stayed private. She didn't see Mystique.

"I'll take the job while you're on sabbatical." Tessa spoke after a long silence. "Just long enough for you to feel you can do it again, because you can. You've learned an important lesson, and I think you'll be even better than you were. People respect you, and they know better than to cross you." Tessa's hand rested on her shoulder for a moment, squeezing gently. "I'll see if I can get Mystique to agree to stick around, to cover some of your other tasks." The shapeshifting and impersonating, Christy's mind filled in. "I suspect she'll agree to a temporary placement as well, but don't forget it will take two people to replace you."

It was a compliment, and Christy felt undeserving, but it did make her feel a little better. "Where is she?" Christy glanced around again, seeking the blue skin and red hair.

"She's taking a nap in the back of the car." Tessa pointed out the car in question.

"Okay." Christy nodded and then as she glanced at the house she noticed a shadow moving in the kitchen. Emma was awake. "I should go."

"I'll take care of everything." Tessa told her. "Oh, and you might want to know that the Healer was able to help Scott."

"Good." Christy nodded and turned toward the house. "Tessa, I," She stared at Tessa a moment. "I loved her, my double loved her." She whispered and leaned a little closer to the woman. "I know it wasn't you, but you don't deserve to be alone."

There was a small hint of a smile on Tessa's lips. "I'll keep that in mind." It was spoken softly and the gentle touch to Christy's cheek was a surprise, but Christy closed her eyes and leaned into the hand that appeared to be wiping at her tear tracked face. "I'm not that Tessa, and you need to remember that. Emma will forgive you, but she'll watch our interactions carefully once she knows." It made Christy's eyes open and she backed up a little, ashamed of failing the test Tessa had given her. "I think maybe we can get statements about the attack another day. The two of you are safe enough here, and I'll make sure the guards are trustworthy. Finish your weekend." Tessa nodded and turned, walking away without looking back.

………………..

Emma was sitting so still. Christy stared at her, every moment going by making her more and more nervous. It had been incredibly fast compared to the first time Emma had gone through Christy's mind for her past, that had been years ago and their link made what took days happen in mere minutes. Christy could feel her lover out of her mind, and stared at her as the blonde sat still with her eyes closed. Christy stared as a tear trailed out and then another as Emma absorbed and processed what she'd taken.

Christy watched as the tears fell faster and she moved slowly, quietly, to wrap her arms around Emma and hold her. This was a bad idea, she should have walked Emma through it, sure she'd have to experience it again, but Emma was alone as she watched.

Emma's hand took a hold of Christy's arm and she held her tightly, in fact that strong grip would have left bruises on other people. Emma's breathing was fast and unsteady as she went through Christy's memories and all Christy could do was hold her.

When Emma slumped back a little, seeming boneless, Christy suspected that the telepath was done. Emma's eyes stayed closed, and her hand didn't let go of Christy. "I don't deserve you." Emma muttered and moved a little. "You're love for me, I don't deserve something that strong."

It was a bit of a surprise that Emma would even think this and Christy pulled the woman tighter to her. "You saw what I did?" She forced herself to ask, wishing it was just one instance of a horrible act, but there were too many.

"You survived for me." Emma turned a little and her face was still damp with tears. "You survived for me." Emma's voice was firm and her hand was cold as it caressed Christy's cheek. "You went through hell and you never gave up."

Christy just stared at Emma a moment, realizing that Emma hadn't missed those instances, she just wasn't going to acknowledge them. Christy's jaw dropped just a little as she felt a wave of relief and gratefulness. Emma forgave her.

Emma held her and they sat in front of the fire quietly for a while. Christy could tell that Emma was still processing, still trying to grasp it all and she stayed quiet so that her lover could. To suddenly have a year and a half of experienced dumped into her head had to be hard to adjust to. Christy really didn't know how telepaths dealt with that.

"Your capacity to love is part of what drew me to you." Emma spoke quietly. "You loved every version of me you found. I think I can forgive if you loved a little more than that as well. I'm grateful that you had Raven and Tessa. You're right, I can forgive that."

"I won't." Christy's words trailed off as she considered her words. "I won't cheat on you again."

"I know." Emma spoke gently and caressed Christy's arm. The silence was normal after that, it was a pattern establishing where Emma thought and then spoke. Christy found it easy to just stare at the fire and wait. The soft touches continued as Emma distractedly caressed her while she thought.

"I don't care that this Sebastian didn't do those things, he will never set foot in our country, neither will Selene." Emma's voice was hard. "I won't let them near you."

Christy's body shuddered at the thought of seeing those two at a function. She hadn't even considered that was a possibility.

After another long silence Emma's stream of consciousness thinking was verbalized. "One Emma said something true, if I can't see how much you love me I don't deserve you. I promise I see it." Emma hugged Christy tight. "I do see it." She whispered. "I love you too."

After a little longer Emma got up to go to the bathroom and freshen up. Christy watched Emma walk away and she sighed heavily once she was out of sight. This would be okay. It wouldn't be easy, not everything, but it would be okay.

A few minutes later Emma was standing in the doorway looking composed and beautiful. "Christy I know the last time we took a walk on the beach it didn't go so well, but I really want to walk on the beach with you." Emma glanced at the window. "It's daylight still, we have guards and no privacy. Will you come with me?"

Christy felt puzzled at the way Emma was really pushing this and she stood up. This time she took her gun and Emma didn't protest, just stared a moment and then looked away.

They stepped outside and Christy noticed that it had turned into a nice day. It hadn't started sunny, it had been rather gray. Emma took her arm and they started for the beach. Since the house was on it they mostly moved to the edge of the waves and started to walk along the path. Emma stopped in the same spot she had the last time and turned to face her.

Emma's voice was soft. "This is where I met you." Emma glanced down at the ground under them. "this is where you landed when you came to this world that first time and I knew there was something special about you right away." Christy stared silently, feeling the practiced words. Emma stared into her eyes. "I brought you here for a reason Christy, and I know you've been gone for a long time, but my feelings haven't changed." Emma reached into her pocket and pulled the bag Tessa had Christy give to Emma out and Christy's eyes widened in shock as Emma moved down, falling to one knee and looked up at her. "I can't imagine my life without you in it. I'd planned this." Emma held up a ring. "I'd intended this in the beginning and seeing how much you love me I couldn't possibly mean this more. Marry me. I made it legal in this country and I had us in mind when I did it." Christy's jaw fell. "I promise," Emma stared into her eyes. "The country can screw itself if it doesn't approve, because I'm not hiding this anymore. I'm tired of stolen moments, just as tired of them as you are. You deserve more. So do I." Emma held the ring up and Christy slowly moved her hand out so that Emma could take it. Emma smirked just a little. "You have at least one line in this my dear."

"Yes." Christy said shakily. Her mind traveled to Mrs. Taylor-Frost of that other world and the jealousy she'd felt, along with the pity at their situation. Taylor-Frost sounded pretty good. Emma took her hand gently and slid the ring on. It fit perfectly; it wouldn't fall off in a tough situation. Christy stared at it and then into Emma's eyes.

Emma stood up and hugged her tight, before pulling her into a kiss. Somewhere someone was clapping slowly but Christy paid no attention.

As they pulled apart Emma glanced over Christy's shoulder. "If this hits the news before I make my announcement I'll know it was one of you that spilled and you'll wish you hadn't." Emma smiled at Christy and spoke softer. "I'd like to at least get to see their faces when I announce I'm getting married to my bodyguard."

Christy blushed and chuckled a little evilly, knowing what a cliché that would be. She didn't bother mentioning her sabbatical just yet. Emma would understand her need for a break. It was just a break; she let herself believe that now.

…………………..


End file.
